Date: Fri, 24 Dec 2010 20:16:08 EST
From: Aragon76@aol.com
Subject: Steve and Mike Chapter 7

If your not 18 you shouldn't be reading this come back when you're old
enough. This story contains sex between two males without the use of condoms. I
 strongly urge any male out there having sex with anyone to use condoms.
Being  safe is the only way to play and live a healthy life without the fear
of std's.  Be smart. Be safe. If you enjoy this story let me know I am
enjoying writing  this and might continue with some more of this story and what
happens between  Mike and Steve. All rights belong to the author. Contact me
at _Aragon76@aol.com_ (mailto:Aragon76@aol.com)  with comments thoughts and
suggestions you might have. Enjoy if nothing else! Thanks in advance to any
and  all replies they mean a lot to me and my writing ideas.

 I wasn't even going to turn over to face him or acknowledge him he  was
the last person on earth that I wanted to see at this moment. I had a  million
thoughts running through my brain thinking about what exactly I wanted  to
say but for now I just laid there and ignored him. I was in no mood to deal
with him even if I told him to go fuck himself he wasn't worth the energy
it  would take for me to tell him. I just closed my eyes and kept quietly
still.  Sleep didn't come this time. I rang for the nurse and asked for my
sedative I  was going to need it with him still sitting there. Kevin came in and
came over  to my bed. I watched him push the sedative into my IV line but
said nothing to  him.

 "You know you have a visitor sitting here to see you Mike. Why don't  you
get up and visit for a little bit it will do you some good and I know you
don't want to right now but just do it for me just so I don't have to call
the  doctor and report to him that there's been no improvement since he was
here  last."

 "Using guilt doesn't bother me Kevin so don't bother. And as far as  the
visitor goes there isn't one good reason why I should even give him a few
seconds of my time. He was the one person who took constant delight in
tormenting and bullying me a few years back. He let everyone know what kind of
faggot I was even though he really didn't know for sure whether I was or wasn'
t.  I've worn his fist work more than once so really there's no reason for
me to  give him the time of day Kevin." I was fuming I could feel my face
was burning I  was becoming furious again. Maybe I could talk to him maybe I
could take it all  out on him just like he had taken it out on me all those
years ago. He couldn't  do anything to me here in fact I could have him
thrown out just by saying so to  Kevin. But I just laid there while Kevin left
the room. That calming effect was  taking over and it was taking the fight
out of me but if I kept thinking about  the fucking asshole sitting behind me
I could get my anger going again really  easy. I finally turned over and sat
up and looked at him I just locked into his  eye sight and didn't flinch or
stop looking.

 "It wasn't enough that you fucked with me all those years in school.  You
have to come here and do what exactly make fun at me because I'm dying?
Thought you'd come in here and have some laughs for yourself? Just what the
fuck  do you want from me can't you just leave me the fuck alone and never
come back  into my life, like it's been for the past four years from the last
time I saw  you. Face it Randy I don't want any thing to do with you so just
get out of here  I'm not interested in anything you have to tell me." And I
didn't not from him.  All through my last years of high school he had been
one of those that took  great fun in making me his target to pick you and
use as a punching bag. Why I  don't know Randy was one of those kids that
moved into my neighborhood just as  we were beginning high school and from day
one I was the object of his ridicule  and torment.

 "I guess I had that coming to me Mike and the only thing I can say  about
it is that I'm sorry that I did those things and said the things that I
did. You didn't deserve the way I treated you, you never did anything to me so
the only thing I can say is that I'm sorry for everything that I ever said
to  you and I'm sorry for the times that I used you as a bunching bag, you
didn't  deserve it." I wasn't sure what to think this certainly wasn't the
Randy that I  knew in high school but I wasn't ready to just pack up all
those feelings of  hate that I had towards him not with the way I was feeling.
But I began to  wonder how he knew how did he find out about me being in the
hospital and being  sick with cancer how did he know? As mad as I was my
curiosity started to kick  in and as much as I didn't want to talk to him I
wanted to know how he found  out. Just the same I wasn't ready to talk to him
just yet as far as I was  concerned he deserved to be treated like a piece
of shit and in my current state  of mind treating him that way was relatively
easy for me. But I'm not a vengeful  person in reality and as mad as I was
at the world and everyone in it I began to  think that maybe I did owe him
the chance to say whatever he had come to say.  Why would he come to the
hospital just to torment me and he had said that no  matter what he wasn't
leaving here until I acknowledged him. I rolled over to  look up at the ceiling
first and just laid there for a few minutes before I  pushed the button to
make me be in a position that I could look at him.

` "Whatever you came here for I'm not sure but you have two minutes to
make me understand why I should even give you the time of day after the things
 that you used to say about me, the things you used to do to me and the
times  that you used me as your personal bunching bag." I just kept staring at
him I  wasn't going to blink not this time I had time to do some growing up
since high  school and I wanted him to know that I wasn't afraid of him
anymore.

 "I'll say it again Mike I'm sorry I should have never done any of  those
things to you. All I can say is this I was afraid of you and what you
represented to me. You made me take a look at myself and at the time I hated it
I hated you because you never did anything back to me, you just kept going
like  everything I said it didn't seem matter to you, you just kept on going.
And I  was determined to win I was determined to make you cry or something I
`m not even  sure what I was trying to do I just know that at that time you
just kept on  going on."

 "Like it didn't matter?! Do you realize how afraid I was of you? Do  you
realize how I tried to avoid you? And it seemed the harder I tried the more
you did it. You had to be Mr. Cool in front of all you jock friends at
every  opportunity you had. I lived in fear of you all those years in high
school I  lived in fear of Randy Crawford. I didn`t do anything to you because I
was  afraid of what you and were friends might do to me if I did. I was only
one  person. You had the whole jock crew hating me. And I never did
anything to any  of them to deserve the treatment I got. And then when we finished
school I  thought I was free of you that I would never see you again. And to
my horror  here you sit for what reason I`m not sure. So please enlighten
me. Your time is  running out."

 "I had that coming to me probably you should say more you've earned  that
right. I was exactly what you say I was and for that I'm sorry. I don't
know how else to say it. I'd understand if you never forgave me you have
every  right. But as to why I'm here, I'm sure you're wondering how I knew you
were  here." He hesitated for a few seconds like he was struggling with what
to say to  me.

 "First I'll tell you how I knew. Do you remember a nurse named Donna
Stevens? She's my mother. I know we don't have the same last name she
remarried  when I was in high school. Anyway she was talking to me about this
patient that  she had been taking care of and one day she used your name just your
first name  but with everything else she had said for some reason I just
knew it was you I  don't know why I knew but I just did. So I asked her if
your last name was  Mathews and she told me it was. So that's how I knew you
were here. She's been  keeping track of you since you came back in for
treatment and I began to realize  that I had to come to see you I had to set the
record straight with you for once  and for all. Perhaps it's guilt that made
me come to see you perhaps it's  because we have some things in common and
you need to know about that." I was  beginning to soften towards him this was
truly a Randy I had never seen in high  school.

 "I'll tell you that I'm at least interested in what you're going to
tell me. Your mother was nice to me while I was here. And unlike you she didn't
 judge me for who I was. Yeah Randy you're right I am gay all those years
you  were right. It just hurt me to hear you say all the things you did it
hurt me  physically because I was the bag you liked to hit.  I hated you
because you  never even asked me how I felt about it. I wouldn't have told you
anyway back  then but that's not the point. The point is that without knowing
me you just  assumed I was gay and you used that to torment me. But since
then I've found a  man that loves me and has taught me to stand up for who and
what I was so say  what you will to me it won't matter anymore because I'm
not the one with a  problem anymore you are."

 "I guess I have that coming to me probably a lot more to be honest.  But I'
m here to tell you that because of you I faced the truth for the first
time in my life. I finally did what you did and admitted to my mother that I
was  gay, yeah me. The guy that made your life miserable in high school. I
guess I  did it because you made me look at myself and I realized that I hated
who I was  and I took it out on you. Without having the right to do that.
But I was afraid  of it I was afraid of being gay and you just seem like it
didn't matter to you.  You would just keep going like whatever I said didn't
matter or it didn't effect  you. And I couldn't understand how you could be
that way knowing that you were  gay. And the more you didn't do anything
the more I wanted to see you crumble I  wanted to see you run away and hide
because I thought that's what queer's do. I  thought being gay meant you were
weak why I don't know it's just what I thought  back then. I've had a
chance to do some growing up since then just like you and  I've learned some
things along the way that to say the least I'm not proud of  and one of those
things was that when I found out you were here and why I just  felt like I
had to find you I had to make up for what I had done to you because  you didn'
t deserve what I did to you. All that I can keep saying is that I'm  sorry
for that." He sat there and I couldn't help but feel sorry for him. I  wasn'
t sure what to say I believed that he meant everything he had said I
believed he was sorry. And as much as I might have wanted to keep hating him I
couldn't if I did I would be no better than he had been to me all those years
ago. I just sat there looking at him still of unsure where to go from here
of  what to say. A few minutes passed and we kind of just looked at each
other.

 "I guess I should leave I can understand why you don't want to talk  to
me but I had to come here and say what I did. I just wanted to clear this up
with you I don't know if I was looking for forgiveness or what I'm not
sure,  like I said I just felt like I had to come and see you." He got up and
started  to leave the room. I couldn't let him not after what he had come
here for.

 "Don't go Randy sit down and maybe we can talk." I wasn't sure about
what I didn't know how to take all that he had come here to say. At least he
didn't leave he came back into the room and sat down in the chair.

 "I'm a little surprised to say the least to hear you tell me you're  gay.
As you can tell from what I said earlier. I just don't understand why you
kept up those things if you knew that you were gay. Were you hoping that it
would change you that it would somehow fix what you thought was wrong with
you?  Maybe I shouldn't say that. Maybe it's better if we just let it go as
to why.  Does it really matter anymore anyway? What's the point of keeping
up with  fighting I've grown tired of fighting lately. Since you knew I was
here I'm sure  your mother must have told you why. It's changing the way I
think about a lot of  things since I found out, fighting is one of them." I
was getting tired I didn't  feel like sleeping but I had to stop for a few
minutes and just lay back and  close my eyes.

 "Mike maybe I should leave to let you get your rest I'm sure you need
all you that you can get. I didn't come here to fight with you or to get you
to  tired. My mother told me that you're a fighter and she was sure that you
would  beat this. That's one of the things that told me when she talked
about you that  made me realize who she was talking about." Me? A fighter? The
one person in the  world that would make me realize what I needed to do was
standing in front of me  and I would have never guessed he would do that for
me. Not Randy  Crawford.

 "Sit down Randy and stay, just give me a minute to rest my eyes. Part  of
this is because they gave me that shot it was a sedative and it's working."
I  motioned for him to sit and just wait a few minutes.

 "It's ironic that you of all people should show up here today. I  believe
that there are no accidents in life and that everything happens for a
reason. And of all the people to show up here and remind me about fighting this
cancer turns out to be you. The guy I hated the most in high school. And
yet  here you are at a time I needed someone to walk into my life and make me
realize  that I needed to keep fighting." I couldn't help but laugh at the
irony of the  whole situation. I knew he didn't understand what I was
laughing at but it  didn't matter. What mattered was that I knew what I had to do
I knew that I had  to keep going and more importantly I had to call Steve
and tell him how sorry I  was for treating him like I did.

 "Let's talk some more Randy maybe it's time that you and I become
friends instead of enemies." He smiled for the first time since he had come  here.

 "So Mike tell me how you met this guy and how you two got together. I  bet
this is a conversation you never thought would happen between you and I."
He  was right I was certainly thinking this was a strange conversation to be
having  with him.

 "That's putting it mildly to say the least. But now that we are  talking
how's your mom doing she was really nice to me and took good care of me
while I was in the hospital the first time. I wish she was my nurse now, not
that these guys are doing a lousy job,  they're not. It's just that your
mother was fun to talk to. And now I understand why she was so accepting of
Steve and I. I take it that she knows about you being gay?"

 "Yeah I ended up telling her not long after we got out of high  school.
Not because I wanted to come out then it was more because I hated who I  was
and was living dangerously to say the least and she was the one that
confronted me and my behavior and kept at me about why I was acting the way I  was.
And finally I just got to the point that I told her just to shut her up in
hopes that she would hate me and kick me out of the house. But she didn't
she  hugged me and told me that it wasn't a problem and she help me to
understand and  like the person I was instead of hating who I was."

 "That's really something Randy. But I can understand why your mother  got
it out of you and knew how to help you. She was a big help to me. I take it
 by living dangerously that you were drinking and doing drugs?"

 "Yep I was and if I had kept it up she was right I would have ended  up
dead along the road somewhere because I would get so messed up and then go
driving hoping that I would get into an accident. But it never happened but
for  the grace of the man upstairs I'm still here."

 "Well let's talk about something else for now, you're hear and in one
piece and obviously living more comfortably with yourself than before. I'll
tell  you about Steve and I. I met him a few years ago and he was dating a
girl at the  time if you can believe that one."

 "Oh so he was hiding like I was is that what you're saying?"

 "No it wasn't like that at all. He had no idea about me and it wasn't
until after he and his girlfriend broke up that things between us got started.
 After they broke up Steve and I spent a lot of time together and I mean a
lot.  We were always together, we were working together and we were living
together.  It wasn't until we were living together that things happened
between us. I won't  go into the details of how the light went on for him but the
first time we had  sex was the first time he had ever been with a man in
bed. Don't ever tell him  that I told you that he'd kill me I'm sure." The
conversation between Randy and  I kept going and before long I realized that
I was hungry and that we had been  talking for almost three hours.

 "Man I didn't realize that we'd been talking so long. I hope they  bring
dinner soon I'm starving. I haven't eaten all day."

 "Why don't I get you something it's going to be another hour before  they
bring your supper I know how they are around here believe me. Let me go
downstairs and bring something back for you, what would you like?"

 "Randy you don't have to do that you really don't."

 "Let me do  this for you I want to really I do. It's been fun to  sit
here and talk to you all this time. I wish all those things that happened in
the past didn't you're a really nice person Mike and I regret what happened
really I do. So let me make it up to you a little and let me go get you
something to eat. What would you like?"  I had to think for a few minutes  but
I finally gave him my order. Randy looked at me for a few seconds and got
this serious look on his face.

 "Hey listen, while I'm gone why don't you call Steve? I think you'll
feel better about what happened between you and him last night. With all that
you told me about him and what you told me that happened last night with
the way  you acted I'll bet you'll feel even better if you call him. Even if
it's nothing  more than saying hello." And this coming from a guy that used
me as his punching  bag.

 "Maybe Randy maybe I don't know if I can yet I was pretty rotten last
night. He didn't deserve the things I said to him he's done nothing but stand
by  me and hold my hand the entire time this has been going on. It seems
like it's  been so long and yet it's only been weeks." I was ashamed of what
I had done to  Steve the way I treated him how was I going to call him and
tell him I was sorry  for being such an ass? While Randy was gone Kevin came
back to take my blood  pressure and  temperature. He was another one I had
to say sorry to.

 "Listen Kevin I just wanted to say I'm sorry about the way I talked  to
you earlier you didn't deserve that you didn't do anything to deserve it. So
 please forgive me and my stupid temper."

 "Nothing to forgive Mike. You've been a wonderful patient the whole  time
you've been here with me as far as I`m concerned. Under the circumstances
you have every right to lash out and be angry from time to time and no one
blames you. You wouldn't be human if you didn't act like that at least
once or  twice. We all understand what you're going through and anger is just
another  part of having what you have and dealing with it. So we would worry
if you  didn't act like you did earlier. And I mean that I'm not just
saying that to  cheer you up I wouldn't do that to you."

 "Thanks for saying so but still I'm sorry and it needed to be said as
far as I'm concerned. I had to set the record straight."

 "Then since you're on a roll why don't you call Steve he's called  here
several times today to check up on you. He's worried and since what
happened last night he told me that he won't come to see you until you call him.
So if you want to see that guy of yours then I suggest you get on the phone
and  straighten it out with him. He knows how you feel he does understand
more than  you realize Mike he really does understand what you're going through.
" He made  me feel like an ass even more. Between what Randy and Kevin had
said I knew I  had to make that phone call. I didn't know what I was going
to say but I had to  think of something and the sooner the better. I didn't
want Randy to hear what I  had to say so I knew I better just call him before
Randy got back with the food.  I picked up the phone and dialed our number.

 "Hello." It took me a few seconds before I seemed to be able to  talk.

 "Hello." There was silence on the other end he was leaving it up to  me.
I knew he was right I was the one that had to do the talking.

 "I thought I would call you and say hi."

 "Hi." He wasn't going to make this easy for me. I knew he was right  and
he was making a point that I had over stepped my bounds with him. I had hurt
 him when I shouldn't have.

 "All right Steve I'm sorry. I'm sorry for what I said and the way I
treated you. You didn't deserve that from me. You've done nothing but take care
 of me and stand beside me since this started. And all you wanted was what
was  the best thing for me and that was staying in the hospital to gain that
weight  and get my strength back." I was trying not to cry I wasn't going
to do that to  him and I didn't want his sympathy because I was crying. He
didn't say anything  there was just silence on the other end of the phone. I
was waiting I wanted him  to say something I didn't care what I just wanted
him to say something to me  even if he yelled at me. Something would be
better than the silence I was  getting.

 "Maybe I shouldn't have called you yet. Maybe I made a mistake and  you
just need more time before you want to talk to me. I'll just hang up now and
when you want to talk to me I'll be waiti..."

 "Don't, don't hang up Mike." He was crying I could hear it in his  voice
and he was trying not to let me know that. It was breaking my heart
because I knew I was the one that made him do it.

 "I'm sorry I'm sorry Steve please don't cry please don't I feel bad
enough for what I did." I had to stop I was going to cry if I kept talking to
him. I had gone to far. I had hurt him to much.

 "Listen just don't say anything just listen to me. I did I went to  far
last night I realize now how much I hurt you and I didn't mean to I was just
angry Steve. I was just being my stupid self. When you're ready to talk to
me  call me back I'll be waiting just take your time I understand. Take all
the time  you need before you call me back Steve. I know what I did." I didn'
t give him  time to say anything I just hung up the phone and cried. How
could have been  that insensitive to him? Why is it that I let my temper take
over and make me  lose control like I do? I wouldn't blame him if he didn't
call me back. I had  hurt him and all he had done was love me. Randy showed
up about a minute  later.

 "Wow, come on now Mike it can't be that bad. Just take a few deep  breath
and let it out slowly." Of all the things for him to say he sounded just
like Steve telling me to take a deep breath. And I couldn't do anything but
just  sob louder. He came over to the bed and rubbed my back and told me to
just  settle down to try and take a breath it was hard to do in between the
sobs. I  finally managed to get a deep breath in and slow down the tears.

 "Do you want to talk about it or should we change the subject? How  about
we change  the subject and eat what I brought up for us to eat. I  realized
how hungry I was once I got down there and started looking at all the  food.
I hope I got you what you wanted. Come on Mike try and eat for me. Do you
want to talk?." Randy and I had really made a lot of progress in those few
hours  that we sat and had that chance to talk to get to know one another. At
least he  knew where I was coming from and I understood him a lot more.

 "Shit Randy I was so stupid, I hurt Steve last night so badly. I  called
him and tried to tell him I was sorry and I think I only made matters  worse.
I didn't give him much time to talk and I thought I was just giving him
time to pull himself together and yeah, me to. Now I`m not sure if I should
call  him back or wait and see if he calls me."

 "Why don't you just give him a chance and give him some time to think
about what you said and I'm sure he'll come around and before you know it he'
ll  be calling you Mike." I wasn't so sure I was thinking that this time I
had gone  to far  What if he didn't call what was I going to do I couldn't
go  anywhere I was stuck in this hospital and was going to be here for at
least  another seven days and possibly more depending on how much weight I
regained and  how much my strength came back. I resigned myself to the fact
that all I could  do was sit here and hope he called. Randy stayed a little
longer and we talked  some more by the time he left I had the experience of an
enemy become a friend  and realized how small the world was. We promised to
keep in touch with each  other once I was out and he promised to come by and
see me after I was out of  the hospital. I was glad that he had come to see
me and I wanted to tell Steve  what had happened. I watched the clock keep
moving and he still hadn't called. I  turned on the television and tried to
watch whatever was on but it wasn't  holding my interest. Kevin came in and
let me know that they had gotten my room  set and I would be moving within
the next hour. At least it gave me something to  think about besides Steve. I
tried to focus on getting myself and my things  together and just waited
for the orderly to come and get me. Perhaps I lucked  out but I was in another
room by myself but this time I had hoped that someone  was with me I needed
someone to talk to I was having to much time to think and  no one to say
anything to. The hour was getting later I resigned myself to the  fact that he
wasn't going to call. I asked the nurse for my nightly mix of  sedative and
sleep aid I wanted to sleep and not think anymore about him and  what he
was doing and why wasn't he calling. It was a restless night I woke  several
times and every time I did it took me a while to get back to sleep. All  I
could think of every time I was awake was Steve and why hadn't he called and
was he even going to bother with me after what I said to him and the way I
had  treated him. How was I going to fix this I knew in my heart that I had
gone to  far this time never mind the reason for my anger it didn't justify
my treatment  to him.

 The morning finally came for what is was worth, the nurse's made  their
customary rounds of blood pressure checks and temperature readings. For me
that included getting weighed in. I was up a pound and a halt this morning. Oh
 boy only twenty five and a half pounds to go to get back to my normal
weight.  The doctor had come in early to see that I was settled in and was okay.
He was  glad that I had gained the weight but was looking to see at least
two pounds by  tomorrow. I didn't know how I was going to pull this off my
hunger still wasn't  back to normal. And my problem with Steve wasn't helping
either.  I was  trying not to think of that now I just didn't want to start
 the day that  way. I was hoping that someone would come in and occupy my
time and mind  anything to get me to not dwell on missing Steve. I just
wanted to hear his  voice to let me know that it was going to be okay, even if he
yelled at me I'd  listen because he'd be talking to me at least.
I thought about Randy and how  strange it had been for him to show up
yesterday. And again how small the world  was that Donna was his mother. I was
surprised to find out that he was gay he  was the last person on earth I would
have thought was. Maybe I had made a new  friend only time would tell. The
clock kept ticking and seem to stand still  every time I looked at it. Why
wasn't he calling why wouldn't he talk to me? I  just turned over in bed put
my head on my pillow and cried I wanted him I needed  him and I couldn't
call him this time I had to wait for him to come to me. I  guess he was just
making a point about what I had done to him and that he wasn't  going to keep
putting up with me treating him like I did and I guess he had  every right.
I cried for a while and finally stopped and drifted off to sleep.  My nurse
woke me up to let me know that my lunch had arrived and she would
appreciate it if I would wake up and eat. I wasn't really hungry but I had to  eat
it was the only way I was going to gain any weight. My first visitor for the
day walked in while I was eating.

 "Hey Gary I'm glad to see you how are you?"

 "I'm good the question is how you doing today?"

 "I'm holding up at the moment. Trying to eat all these calories up  they
want me to gain some weight, seems I lost twenty seven pounds during
radiation treatments. So the doctor has put me on this high calorie diet to see
if I can gain some weight. So far I've gained a pound and a half. He wants me
to  gain two today. I'm afraid he'll tell me I have to gain three tomorrow.
" Gary  was laughing he was one of those that ate everything in sight and
always looked  like he could stand to gain ten pounds to be healthy. He was
always one to poke  fun at me for having a stomach. He was never cruel to me
about it, he just like  to bust my chops about it and I'd bust his about
being a living walking stick  man. I use to tell him when he stood sideways and
stuck out his tongue he looked  like a zipper. What can I say he was my
cousin and we respected each other and  had grown up having a good close
friendship. He was six months younger than me,  he called me the old man and I'd
call him youngster.

 "How's work going for you these days? Is the restaurant been busy
lately? And how's George doing working all these hours lately?" I wanted to ask
him about Steve in the worst way.

 "Works going good we've been busier than usual at lunch this past  week
and a half. And George is tired he's not used to working the hours that he
has been. But he's hanging in there and he's hired a guy to help him take
your  place. And no he's not there for good I know George told him that he'd
be let go  the minute you came back to work full time. So don't worry about
your job George  wouldn't do  that to you, and you know it."

 "How's Eileen? Did she end up getting that job that she was going  after?"

 "She's good and she has another interview coming up next week it's  down
to her and one other girl. I'm betting she gets the job mostly because she
really wants it. But mostly I think because her job that she's at now gave
her a  really great letter of recommendation and told the company that they
would be  crazy not to hire her. So hopefully she'll end up working  there."

"Have you been staying at her house lately or at our  house? I'm never
sure with you where you might be. I don't know why you and her  just don't get
a place. Not that I want you to leave our house, but as much as  you stay
at her place. I don't know why you guys aren't living together at this
point." Both of us were making small talk and I could feel it. I figured I might
 as well take the plunge and break the ice and get it over with at least we
could  go on from there.

 "Gary, have you talked to Steve lately? Like in the past twenty four
hours?" I could tell by the look on his face that he knew why I was asking and I
 knew Gary he didn't like getting involved in things like this. Gary was
the type  that felt if you were having problems in your relationship that it
was problem  and your problem alone. No one else should be involved or
talking to you about  it. I had to smile in spite of everything.

 "Yes I talked to him this morning." He was drumming his fingers and  not
looking at me. I was getting the picture that he didn't want to tell me
whatever it was. I wasn't going to push. That was a habit of Gary's when he
didn't want to talk about something.

 "I won't push it Gary I'm not going to put you in the middle of this,
this is between Steve and I and either it will work itself out or it won't
there's nothing I can do about it anymore. I did everything I could. I've
told  him I was wrong and that I was sorry. Beyond that I don't know what else
to tell  him. I just wish he would call and talk to me or come and see me
and either yell  at me or tell me to get fucked or oh I don't know just
something I just want to  hear something from him Gary. I'm going crazy not
knowing anything right now. I  know I was wrong but now I just need to know where
we stand. I'm sorry I don't  want to drag you into this I know how you are
with these things." I stopped  talking and just looked out the window for a
minute and Gary just sat there with  me and didn't say anything. I was just
going to have to wait for him how ever  long he took I was going to wait.

 Gary and I started talking and watching the television and he told me
finally about his mom and dad and what they had to say about Steve and I. His
mom wasn't happy at all and his dad was close behind in how he felt. I loved
my  Aunt and Uncle but they were staunch church goers. And the bible as far
as they  were concerned was the word and law of man and homosexuality did
not fit in  anywhere according to the church they went to. They told Gary
that they realized  that we were bound for hell and that he shouldn't be living
with us. I think  they were sure that we would make him gay and didn't we
molest little kids so  that they would turn gay? I hated the small mindedness
of how some people  interpret the bible and what it means. I don't hate
them I just feel sorry that  they don't understand that I didn't make a choice
to be gay I was born that way  plain and simple. God decided that not me
but society made it difficult for us  to be accepted for who and what we are.
Maybe some day down the road someone  will stand up and make a change.
Someone will make a difference. We sat for a  while and Gary had to leave and go
get Eileen she wanted to come up and see me  to. She had sent Gary in first
to see how I was doing and if I was up to company  yet. I told him to tell
her that as long as she didn't rub up against me she  wouldn't catch what I
had. We both laughed and he was out the door to go get  her. It would be
nice to see her I hadn't seen her since the day I came home  from the hospital
the first time. For now I had to sit and watch the hands of  the clock move
at a snails pace. It didn't take to long before I drifted off to  sleep, I
was in a deep sleep when I was awakened by the gentle kiss on my  forehead.
My eyes flew open and I tried to focus to see if he was here if he had  come
to tell me everything was okay. I threw open my arms and leaned out to get
myself out of bed and close to him but he walked over to the bed and caught
me  before I fell on my face. I just hugged him as tight as I could and didn'
t let  go. All I cared was that he was here neither of us said anything for
a few  minutes we both just enjoyed the embrace.

 "I'm sorry Steve I'm so sorry I was going out of my mind worrying." I
kissed him hard. And right back to putting my arms around him and not letting
 go.

 "Okay Babe let me breath a little. He stepped back just a step and  looked
into my eyes. It was then that I could see it in him. He looked like  hell.
He had bags under his eyes and he never had those. He looked tired like he
hadn't slept for a while. And I knew it was because of me I instantly felt
like  a piece of shit.

 "How come you don't hate me? You have every right to after what I did  to
you. And with that being said why did you wait so long to come here or call
 me? Where you trying to make a point to make me realize what I had done
was  wrong? Because if you were I've learned that no matter what I can't
treat you  like that ever. You're the one that has stood by me the whole time I'
ve been  going  through this. You're the one that made me believe that
together we  could beat this. And I treated you like trash and worse." I got out
of my bed  and stood up with him and put my arms around him again and just
held on. I  didn't want to let go not for one minute I had missed him to
much to let go just  yet. He backed up just a little and put his hand on the
side of my face and  gently rubbed it.

 "You know what?"

 "What?"

 "I love you Michael that's what and over this past thirty six hours  I've
realized just how much." He held me by my chin and pulled my face to his
and kissed me gently and sweetly. I was promising myself that I wasn't going
to  cry this time there was no way I was going to do that.

"I  understand why you acted the way you did and I don't blame you. But
you were  right this time, you hurt me Mike and I didn't deserve that. I'm
not going to  keep beating this issue to death. It's over and done with never
to be discussed  again. From this point forward it's water under the bridge
and there's no point  in talking about it. It won't change the fact that it
happened. Now that I've  said it I'll say this I love you more today than
I did yesterday and the day  before that one." He picked me up off the floor
and got me back to my bed and  sat me down on it.

 "Our next course of action is to fatten you up and get you stronger  than
you are now. That's the name of the game plan buddy. Now crawl up into that
bed and let me pull the covers up so you're covered up and not possibly
getting  a chill and catching cold that's one thing that you don't need right
now."

 "Yes sir mister yes sir whatever you think I should be doing. And  just to
let you know big boy I do love you oh so very much I do love you with  all
my heart and soul." I put my head on my pillow and took a deep breath and
slowly exhaled. For the first time that day I felt at peace and felt like I
could rest for the night.

 "Will you stay tonight?"

 "Maybe if your good and behave yourself and do as your told maybe I  will."

 "I think you need a good nights sleep as much as I do. You have bags
under you eyes and I know why, I know I know we aren't talking about it. But
that doesn't change the fact that you have bags under your eyes and you look
like shit you need a good nights sleep. And whether you say it or not I'm
sorry  that I was the one that made you look like you do at the moment. Dr.
Grisales  put a bed in this room for a reason . And tonight is a good reason
for you to  stay in it and put it to good use. And it will make me feel like
trying harder  to eat and gain weight. Just like you want me to." I put my
best smile on to try  and convince him to stay with me. I was trying hard to
play at being sexy and it  wasn't easy the way I really felt inside. But I
wasn't going to let on to him  that I wasn't feeling that great. Hey it was
to be expected anyway I was still  working on getting better and my week had
just begun.

 "Hey I have a story to tell you, do you remember the guy I once told  you
about his name was Randy Crawford?

 "Yes and why would you have a story to tell me about him I seem to
remember that he was a pain in your ass and gave you all kinds of trouble. Did
you hear something about him?"

 "Oh I heard plenty believe me and you'll never in a million years  guess
who I heard it from."

 "I have no idea, who was it?

 "You have to guess, you have to this time I'm not going to just tell  you
that would be no fun and what's  the point in not having any  fun?"

 "I don't know I don't even know where to begin because I don't know  who'
s been here and since I haven't talked to you Michael. I haven't a clue as
 to where to begin. Remember I didn't go to school with you and him. So
someone  you went to school with could have come to see you and they told you
what ever  it is that you're going to tell me. So it's not fair that you're
making me  guess. So come on spill it Babe tell what you heard about him."

 "Okay you have a point you didn't go to school with us. Ready? Here's
the real bombshell for you......he's gay." It was like he knew I thought for
sure  he'd be surprised by that piece of news.

 "How did you find that out? But more importantly you mean to tell me  that
the guy that picked on you and beat on you all those times is fucking  gay?"

 "Honest to god it's the truth. I also heard how sorry he was that he  did
what he did to me. And it seems that he wants to make amends with me can
you  believe that?" I was playing with him because he still hadn't asked me
who it  was that I heard it from.

 "Whoever told you this did they have anything else to say about him.  And
the more I  think about it, I'm sure it was someone you went  to  school
with because they had to know the history you two shared. So see I told  you I'
d never be able to guess who it was."

 "Perhaps your right but I just have this feeling that if you thought
about it enough that you would be able to guess who it was." I wanted to keep
stringing him along. I sat there waiting to see if he would guess anyway to
see  if he would at least take a stab at it.

 "Hey by the way I have to go ask the nurse something I'll be right  back
in do you need anything from them. Do you want to get your shot now or
later I don't know when you had your last one so what do you want?

 "But you haven't guessed and I haven't told you yet who it was.  Aren't
you the least bit interested who it was?"

 "Yes I am but I just remembered I had to talk to the nurse about
something."

 "Okay but hurry up I want to tell you because I know you'll be  shocked
when I tell you who it is and no I don't need my shot not since you got  here
you were my shot tonight, I'll wait until it's almost bed time then I'll
need some help to get to sleep." He just nodded and walked out the door. I
only  had to wait a few minutes but I turned on the television to see what
was on that  might be good that we could watch while we sat here and talked.
The next thing I  see is him poking his head around the corner of the door.

 "Close your eyes and keep them shut, as a matter of fact use your  pillow
to cover your face because I know you and you'll try and peek and see  what I
'm doing. So pick up your pillow......go on just do it." What did he have up
his sleeve? I didn't trust him all of a sudden and the pillow would not let
me  peek in the least, he was right I would.

 "The pillow Mike on your face now. Otherwise I'll still right here  and
make you wait even longer before I come into the room. Go on get busy put
the pillow up!

 "Fine alright but don't you do anything to me or I'll scream and get  you
in trouble with my nurse. I'll tell her that you're putting me under
unnecessary stress."

 "Fine tell her that I'll lie my way out of any trouble you can get me
in. They'll believe me first I'm better looking than you!"

 "You will so pay for that insult, trust me you will pay for that. And
fine I'll put the pillow on my face but make it quick whatever you're up to
because if you make me wait to long or if it gets to quiet in here I'll take
the  pillow off my face to see what you're up to Steve." I did I put the
pillow over  my face. I couldn't hear anything  and I was listening to hear if
anyone  was walking into the room with him or not. I couldn't hear anyone
besides him.  The lights stayed on which I felt better about that. He just
kept telling me not  to look and not to let the pillow down or he'd kill me.
The suspense was killing  me.

"Come on Steve what are you doing what are you up to.  This is taking to
long come on just let me look. I`m starting to get a bad  feeling about this.
I know you won`t do anything bad, well you might but come on  already."

 "Don't you dare just another few more seconds and I'll let you look,  I
promise." He was doing something with my tray table I could hear him moving
it  closer to me. I started to back up in my bed.

 "Don't move and don't worry there's nothing bad going on, I promise  you'
ll like this. Just remember when you see this that I love you, promise me
that you`ll still love me." Now I was really getting nervous.

 "Stephen Alan Craigen what in the hell are you up to?"

 "Wow he used all three names if he doesn't like this I'll be knee  deep
in trouble." He started laughing but still made me keep the pillow on my
face. I felt him take a hold of the pillow and started moving it from my face.
I  was stunned and speechless all in that one second that it took for me to
realize  what exactly was in front of me. On my table sat this beautiful
arrangement of  two dozen long stemmed yellow roses. And in front of that sat
two gold rings  held together with Steve's gold chain that he always wore. I
just sat there and  cried. I took his hand and pulled him into my bed and
hugged him with all the  strength that  I had in me. Of all the color of rose
that he could give me  he gave me yellow I don't know if he realized that it
meant friendship when you  gave someone yellow roses. I couldn't stop
kissing him. I was finally able to  pull myself together and talk to him.

 "That's so not fair that you did this now. Is this for me to put on  now
or are we going to wait until we do something in front of the family I think
 they'll be disappointed if we don't. At least Laura will and probably
Tiffany  and your Mom."

 "No we are going to wait until later. You can't have it yet. But I
wanted to show you that no matter what you and I aren't going on without each
other. No matter what the future brings for us it will be together. For now I
want you to wear them together around your neck as a reminder of how much I
love  you and how much you mean to me Michael. The other night made me
realize how  much you hurt and even more it made me realize how much I meant
what I said when  I asked you to share my life with me. I'm not walking away
from you no matter  how much you yell at me or scream at me. Because I know no
matter what you still  love me. The only way you can say the things that
you said to me is because you  love me you trust me enough and feel safe
enough to be able to let go and just  let out all those emotions that where
bottled up inside of you." He tilted his  head and leaned in to kiss me. I couldn'
t say anything to him I just kissed him  back and let the tears fall down
my cheeks and didn't care any more. I don't  know how I was this lucky to
have this man in my life and I just knew I had to  stop asking and accept the
fact that I did have in my life and was lucky enough  that he wanted me as
much as I wanted him.

 "Steve I will wear those rings until we have that ceremony with pride  and
if anyone asks what they are there for I'll be proud to tell them that the
man I call my husband gave them to me until we get married." He took the
rings  and opened the chain and put them around my neck.

 "This chain is yours from now on Babe. It looks better on you than  me. I
want you to have this."

 "Steve your grandmother gave you that right before she died. I know  what
this means to you. You need to keep this when we put the rings on our
fingers."

 "No argument Michael Wayne it's yours from now on. Just be quiet and  I'
ll hear about this no more." I went to try and argue with him but he put his
finger up to my lips to quiet me. I let it go there was no point he had
made up  his mind I could tell.

 "The other night made me realize everything it all became crystal  clear
that it was time to find the rings and make that step forward I wanted you
to know I wasn't going to leave you ever."

 "You have Steve you really have. But that only leaves one thing  left."

 "What's that exactly?"

 "You still don't know or haven't guessed who told me about Randy." He
started to laugh.

 "This has got to be pretty good for you to come back to that  conversation
I thought for sure this would make you forget any conversation we  might be
having when I gave you this."

 "Well it came close but I know you'll be shocked and that's why you  have
to know."

 "All right all ready just who the hell told you about this Randy  Crawford?
"

 "I really wanted you to guess but since you gave me all this I'll  just
tell you........it was..........."

 "Shit Michael just tell me the fucking name because weakened or not  the
next thing I will do is tickle you.  And I won't show mercy I know your  neck
is the worst place I can attack and I will go right for the neck, so spill
it."

 "He did, Randy sat here and told me." I thought Steve was going to  fall
over.

 "Are you kidding me? You mean to tell me that he came to see you here  in
the hospital? Did he come here to tell you that he was gay? What the fuck
was  the purpose of him coming here? Did he want something from you? How did
he know  about you being here? He was spitting out questions like a sub
machine gun fires  bullets. I put my hand up to signal him to stop. I hadn't
expected this kind of  response from him it wasn't like him.

 "One thing at a time and I'll explain how it all happened from the
beginning to the end I promise. He showed up the next morning and I told him I
didn't want to hear anything that he had to say and he told me that he wasn'
t  going to leave until he had said what he had come here for. So with that
in mind  I finally let him start talking. He found out about me because
Donna, you  remember her? Donna is his mother and she was talking about me at
their home and  because of things that she said about me and she said my name,
just my first  name but she talked about my attitude about not giving up
and being a fighter,  well he asked her my last name and she told him so he
knew it was me. So he came  to see me and to apologize for all the things that
he said to me and did to me.  He told me that he did all those things
because he hated himself for being gay  and I was the object of his hate. But he
thought that I never let it bother me  that I was a fighter in my own way
with him. And it just made him madder when I  didn't acknowledge his insults
and beatings, I just acted like it was nothing to  him. But anyway so like I
said he apologized he bought me some food and we  talked for a few hours and
by the time he left I realized that I had made a  friend. We made plans to
keep in touch and I told him that I wanted him to meet  you because I told
him all about you."

 "You better hope I like him and don't beat the shit out of him for  doing
all those things to you."

 "Steve you will do no such thing you're not going to be that  childish.
You're to old to act like a high school idiot. I think you'll like him  he
wants to go to school to be a chef. And we could use someone like that at the
 restaurant, so don't go and ruin that. And I really think that you'll get
along  with him. He's certainly not the person I knew in high school Steve."

 "We'll see about that when I meet him." I heard an unfamiliar tone in
his voice and I couldn't put my finger on it. Was he jealous?

 "Your not jealous because I said he was my friend all of a sudden  after
he was someone I hated so much are you?" He didn't look at me directly he
just kind of looked off to the side and didn't look at anything in
particular.  He was, he was actually jealous of Randy.

 "Don't be jealous Steve you have nothing to be jealous of believe me.  He'
s a nice guy and that's all there is to it, no more and no less. I just
liked  the fact that he went out of his way to come and see me and apologize
for all  those things he did. Believe me I treated him pretty shitty when he
was first  here. And I'm not going off to meet him without you with me I told
him all about  you, in fact he was the first one to tell me that I should
call you because I  told him about what I had done to you and how I felt. So
he told me to call you  and he left the room to get me something to eat. And
the second he left Kevin  walked in and gave me the same advice as Randy so
I called you and said what I  said.  I was crying when he got back because
I had just hung up from  you.  And he was nice enough to try and comfort me
and that was all he did.  And it helped me and that was when we just sat
here and made small talk and  watched the television. So you have no reason to
be jealous of Randy he's  nothing more that a friend and when you meet him
you'll see that so stop it  right now." He didn't say anything to me and he
didn't argue the point so I  decided to just let it drop and forget about it
for now. I knew once they met  he'd be okay and they would become friends.
They really both had a lot in  common.

 "Are you going to stay the night with me? I'm scared and need someone  to
protect me mister. I need someone to stay here and check under my bed for
monsters." I wanted to move onto another subject so that he would forget
about  Randy for now. I tried to coax him into a more jovial mood.

 "Monsters under the bed huh? Aren't you afraid of the other  monsters?"
He had this smirk on his face and I was glad to see it he wasn't  thinking
about Randy and that was all that mattered right then.

 "What other monsters are you talking about pray tell?" I really  wanted
to laugh because he was walking like a mummy in those old black and white
movies with his arm up by his chest and dragging one leg. I loved his sense of
 humor.

 "Those monsters that walk in the night and take advantage of the weak  and
helpless." He looked crazy with eyes crossed. I had to laugh at him.

 "It's not nice to laugh at those monsters that lurk about. And  there's
still another monster that you have to fear my friend." By now he was  right
next to my bed and I was leaning away from him because I didn't know what
he was going to do to me and I had this feeling that he was going to tickle
me.  He had a habit of acting crazy like this then get close to me and tickle
me. I  was being wary.

 "Why this monster sir......"  He put his hand on his crotch and  shook his
cock and balls. I couldn't help but laugh at him.

 "But I'm not afraid of that monster mister." I was trying so hard to
stop laughing at him.

 "You're perverted you know that you really perverted. Something  happened
to you at birth I swear it did." He was sitting on the edge of my bed  by
now and holding my hand. He stayed the night and I did have a good nights
sleep knowing that he was with me. I went to sleep holding the rings in my
hand  and dreaming of what kind of ceremony we could do. I really did want
something  special. I thought I would suggest that perhaps we would write
something that we  could read to each other. That would be our way of exchanging
vows.  It  would be short and significant and mean something to the both of
us because we  would be writing our own vows. I thought it would be a good
idea.  I  dreamed of Steve I dreamed of Randy and I dreamed of wedding vows
that were  really screwy in a weird way. I just shrugged it off I wasn't going
to spend  time trying to interpret dreams at this stage.

 The next couple of days went by pretty well and without incident, I  was
gaining weight and Dr. Grisales was happy with the amount. I was back up
nine pounds after being there five more days I only had two more to go but I
wanted to hear Dr. Grisales confirm that. I didn't have to wait long to find
out.

 "I'm happy with the gain you've made Mike as of this mornings weigh  in
you're up to nine and three quarter pounds. And your looking good your color
is coming back so you don't look so pale anymore. There's a day and a half
left  before I should spring you."

 "Before you should spring me or you're going to spring me? You're not
sounding very convincing about the actual word of  letting me go. Does this
mean you want more time in here that you don't want me to go yet? And we haven
't  yet so don't start lying now and you don't sugar coat it either
remember this is  me you're talking to Dr. Grisales." I wasn't sure how to read
his facial  expression he didn't look like he was afraid to tell me or
anything like that  but I just couldn't read him.

 "I'm not sure what to do Mike to be honest with you. I'm happy with  what
you've gained and on the other hand I'd like to see you gain a little bit
more before I let you go. I do however realize that you want to go home and
that  you don't want to be here. Your spirits are back where they were when
we first  started fighting this and I'm ecstatic over  that, so I don't
know what to  do. So this is how I'm going to handle this decision. I want you
and Steve to  talk it over, I don't know how many more days you'd have to
stay and it would  depend on how fast you continue to keep gaining this
weight. But I'd like to see  you with about fourteen to fifteen pounds total
weight gain before you leave  here. I know I'm asking a lot so that's why I
want you and Steve to talk it over  and think about it. You have a day and a
half to do this so don't hurry and  think you have to tell me by today.
Because if you tell me at the last minute  and decide to leave I would still have
 you out of here within an hour of  letting me know. And I promise to keep
my word whatever you decide, does that  sound fair to you?"

 "Well I don't like it but you're being honest and I thank you this  time
that you left it up to me at least if I decide to stay and that's a big if
right now,  then it will be an easier pill to swallow pardon the pun it  wasn
't intended Dr. Grisales." He smiled at me just the same. I called Steve
and  told him that when he came to visit me later on that we needed to talk
about  being released. I wasn't angry this time Dr. Grisales had been slick
this time  throwing the ball in my court.

 It didn't take long for Steve to come to my home away from home which  it
pretty much felt like these past couple of days. I didn't waste any time in
explaining what was up and what we had to decide or I should say that I had
to  decide. We talked for about two hours back and forth debating the good
and the  bad. It was decided that  we would give it some more time how much
we  weren't certain but I would try and hang on to the goal that he had
wanted, and  that was fifteen pounds. I convinced myself that I was going to eat
like a pig  and eat anything and everything I could. Steve said he would
bring me a sheet  cake that would serve fifty people and I would have to eat
it all myself. I  agreed to his terms and we both laughed over the whole
thing at least it was my  decision and I felt good about staying this time but I
informed Dr. Grisales  that it was going to cost him this time he told me
he was willing to pay within  reason. So he changed my diet again and added
some protein shakes loaded with  carbohydrates on top of some more food
intake.

 Fifteen pounds happened sooner that I thought and release day was  finally
upon me. I was so excited to go home with a clean bill of health. The  most
recent MRI had shown nothing remained and due to the location of the tumor
to begin with they were ninety five percent sure that it really was gone
this  time. Things were looking up. And I was on my way home at least. The
weather  went with my mood the sun was shining it wasn't freezing even though
it was the  middle of winter I was in my glory.

 "I'm so glad to be going home Steve I thought I would never see this
day.  Twenty five days in that place I was beginning to forget what home
looked like. I can't wait to crawl into my own bed tonight and curl up with you
and just lay there and be held by you. I have missed curling up with so
much.  And I'm not talking about sex although if your really good you just might
get  some."

 "Sex what's that? Oh that's right boners balls tits you mean those  kind
of things? You mean we could like really touch each others pee pee's?" I
couldn't stop laughing he was making himself sound so overly excited like a
little kid let lose in the North Pole the day before Christmas being toldhe
could have whatever he wanted and Santa would bring it to him.

 "You better not get so excited just yet mister or you'll shoot your  load
in another minute or so. Hey tell you what do me a favor and take a little
bit of a ride on the way home nothing to long. I just want to enjoy the
outside  and the scenery I've been locked up for so long I could use the fresh
air for a  little bit, okay? Unless there`s a house full of people again
waiting for me to  walk through the door?"

 "No sorry not this time I'll admit that I made sure everyone stayed  away
this time I'm being selfish because I want you all to myself for the rest
of the day and tonight. I told Gary not to come home tonight either I told
him  if I got lucky he wouldn't want to hear you and I going at it till all
hours of  the morning."

 "You're a pig Steve you are really a pig. And you're so sure that I'm
just going to crawl in bed tonight and spread my legs and let you have your
way  with me?"

 "Well I wasn't positive but yeah pretty much that's what I expected  as
far as our first evening together would be like."

 "Damn straight that's exactly what I want to happen tonight and  anyone
that just happens to show up will be shot on sight no questions and we'll
just bury the body later. The sex will come first." The both of us got to
laughing.

 "So about that little ride is that possible will you take me for a  drive?"

 "Yeah we can go for a ride Mike do you want to stop and get anything  to
drink do you want to stop and get a real coffee for a change instead of
hospital coffee?" It was one thing I was looking forward to was a good cup of
coffee at home. The only thing they would give me at the hospital was decaf. I
'm  sorry but I've got to have my regular cup of joe. So we stopped at my
favorite  Dunkin Donuts and picked up two coffees to go and we took off for
a scenic ride  to nowhere but those were always my favorites. I scooted over
on the seat and  sat right next to Steve it really had been a while and it
felt good to stretch  out across the front seat while he drove. I loved when
he drove me around like  this I could totally relax with him. We drove for
a while with the radio playing  and us singing along when we felt like it.
Luckily Steve had left a joint in the  glove box before I went into the
hospital and he had forgotten about it. So we  lit it up and smoked it until we
couldn't hold it anymore in our fingers we both  were pretty buzzed. And a
good high always makes me horny. I didn't say anything  to him but I knew what
I was going to do to him. I just put my hand on his leg  and started just
rubbing my hand back and forth on his leg being careful not to  go to high
right away. Slowly and surely I rubbed further down the inside of his  leg and
got a little closer to his crotch. I was rubbing lightly really lightly  my
elbow backed into his cock he was rock hard and a moan escaped his  throat.

 "Michael your making me so hard which since we haven't had sex in  over
three weeks all you have to do is tell me to get hard and I would just by
you saying do it."

 "You mean I gave you hard on? I was just rubbing your leg so you'd  relax
while you're driving."

"Yeah, bullshit babe you  did this on purpose. So now that you did this what
's your next move? Should I  find a place to pull over? Perhaps in a wooded
area?"

 "On no we can't do that I don't want a cop to catch us doing anything  in
the middle of the day."

 "So what should we do?" I started to loosen his belt buckle and  unsnap
his jeans. I kept pulling on them and I got him to lift his ass off of  the
seat and I pulled his pants down to his knees. He was hard as rock and
leaking like a faucet. I wrapped my fingers around his erection and gently went
up and down his cock. He was moaning with pleasure. Telling me how much he
wanted this and how much he needed me to put my mouth around his cock. I
couldn't refuse the man I loved. I bent down and wrapped my lips around his
cock  and licked the hole back and forth. I ran my tongue around his head and
sucked  him hard to get all the precum he was making. It was like nectar to
taste him I  had missed his essence I had missed his cock in my mouth. I
wanted this to last  I wanted him to enjoy this as much as I was.

 "Oh Babe I have missed you so much I have missed your touch in bed so
bad. Our bed is a lonely place without you in it. I slept on the couch most
nights because I missed you so much." I stopped for a second and kissed  him.

"I want you to just drive and not talk and enjoy this  because I'm going
to." I went back down on him and engulfed him until I had his  cock down my
throat. I was almost gagging but I held back and didn't. I went up  and down
and played with his balls while I soaked his cock with my saliva. I  couldn'
t help it that velvet hot steel cock made my mouth water when it was in  my
mouth. My cock was rock hard in my pants but I didn't touch it I just let it
 go. I worked his cock with my mouth all I could. I sucked hard and then
softly  sometimes making the suction as hard as I possibly could with my
mouth. His  precum didn't stop and I kept swallowing it. I was beginning to feel
the precum  escaping from the head of my dick starting to soak the fabric of
my underwear. I  continued to play with him and tease him. I got him close
and then back off I'd  get him close and back off again. My cock was aching
confined inside my pants.  He was begging soon for the release I knew he
wanted,  he hadn't cum in  over a week I had purposely got him to promise me
that he wouldn't jerk off or  play with himself so that I could take care of
him when I got out of the  hospital. I promised him an endless day of sex if
he withheld jerking off. He  did and this was the beginning of his reward.
He kept his hand on my head  sometimes shoving my head down on his dick. He
reached down and pinched my dick  through the fabric I was leaking so much
precum and my cock hurt from being  confined in my pants. But I was concerned
about his pleasure now not mine. Mine  would come later. I squeezed his
balls hard and sucked even harder he was  moaning and begging for me to suck him
dry he wanted desperately to empty his  load in my mouth he wanted to fill
my mouth with his seed. And I wanted him to  in the worst way I had missed
his taste but I had missed his touch even more.  Several minutes passed and I
decided that he deserved his release that he was  begging me for. I made a
cock ring out of my fingers and held his balls tight  and pulled them as far
down as I could. And I began to suck him for all I was  worth everything I
did then was to bring him to his climax to bring him to his  release. He
pulled off the road and begged.

 "Babe now babe make me cum now please do it please suck it all suck  it
all out of me oh my god suck it man suck it. I can't take any more Mike." I
could feel his balls try to pull up and I let go of his bag and he screamed
as  his cum came up through his cock out into my hot mouth and I drank him
down all  that I could hold of his load.  And as I sucked him down I came in
my pants  I could feel my cum soaking my underwear and spread all over my
skin.  I  had a hard time keeping his cock in my mouth.  I let him just hold
my head  in his lap as he came down from his orgasmic high. He rubbed my back
and rested  his head back on  the seat. I sat up and directed his head so I
could kiss  him. He kissed me and opened his mouth and I let him taste
himself as I let his  cum enter his mouth I pushed what I had left into it. I
put my head on his  shoulder I was still hard but knew that it would be later
until I was completely  satisfied. But I knew he would make me happy and I
knew he would reward me with  more of his loads. I could wait.

 "Oh my god babe that was so hot I have never had that done to me.  That
was a first for me and I'm guessing that it was your first to."

 "Oh yea that was a first for me to and you know that shit head! Don't
get smart or you won't get any more today and I have this unbelievable hunger
today. I'm not sure if you'll be able to keep up with me. It's been over
three  weeks since I've emptied myself of any loads. So this one I just had
was only  the beginning this one just took a little of the edge off. You'll
have your work  cut out for you when we crawl in bed tonight."

 "Your incredible Babe that was totally awesome and totally  unexpected.
Did you know that you were going to do that when he started this  little ride
as you put it?"

 "Yep, I thought about it right after I called you a pig."

 "You have the nerve to call me a pig and then you go and pretend to  want
to go for a ride just so you could suck my dick is that pretty much what
this was all about?"

 "I'll admit that this was the idea I had in mind, rather good don't  you
think so?" He was fixing his pants by now and buckling his belt back  up.

 "Do you think you can keep your hands to yourself at least long  enough
for us to get home and then if you want to take my pants off again you  can.
Can you do that?"

 "I promise nothing other than I'll do my best to not seduce you or  rape
you while we finish our little ride that you insisted we take in the first
place!"

 "Oh my God you have some much nerve I can't believe you have the  balls
to sit there and say that to me. You have got one big set of balls Babe,
absolutely one big set of balls! And it kills me that you can sit there with a
straight face like it's nothing at all when you say that. And you're
calling me  the pig, you're the one that's the pig I pale in comparison to the
master."  I couldn't help but to laugh at him.

 "Do me a favor Steve just drive me home now will you? And no more  funny
business I promise I'll be good but all bets are off when we walk into the
house." The rest of the ride home was pleasant and we sang to the songs we
wanted to again. It was just such a beautiful day out and I wanted to enjoy
it.  We stopped on the way home to pick up dinner so that we didn't have to
cook when  we were ready to eat.

 We got home and into the house and a ringing phone. It was his  parents
and they informed us that they were coming over for a short visit they  hadn't
seen me in over two weeks and they wanted to come see me. How could I say
no to them. There went our quiet evening of being alone and untold glorious
sex  games. Damn maybe I could call them back and think of something to hold
them off  until tomorrow. Steve informed me it was to late for that and it
would be unkind  to lie to them when they really wanted to see me so bad. I
had to reluctantly  agree with him. Steve came in with all the stuff from
the car that I had built  up while staying in the hospital. It took him three
trips in and out to bring  everything in. I was beginning to feel like I had
been on vacation and I had to  unpack everything and put it away.
Fortunately I didn't have to worry about  washing any clothes like you do when you
get home from vacation. By the time I  had it all put away Steve's parents had
arrived and Steve was sitting in the  living room with them when I came
downstairs. I was glad  to see them and I  knew Mrs. C. was glad that she was
able to really see me and give me the once  over mother approval review.

 "You look a lot healthier Michael than you did the last time I saw  you.
How much weight have you regained all together now?"

 "From the twenty seven that I lost I have regained seventeen pounds  to be
honest with you. I stayed in the hospital on purpose to gain a little more
than the doctor wanted me to so that I could afford to lose a pound and not
 worry when I got home. So Dr. Grisales gave me the thumbs up with letting
me  out. And the other doctors were happy with all the lab results and all
the  levels being almost normal. Some are still a little off but that's to be
 expected after everything with the radiation treatments. And the latest
MRI is  completely clean. I have to go for a monthly MRI for the next six
months to keep  an eye on things and to make sure that nothing starts growing
again. I can live  with that to be honest with you."

 "Michael we are so glad to hear that you must be so relieved."

 "I am I feel good I know I'm not out of the woods yet and I'm not
kidding myself or telling myself that I'm cured for good because we still have  at
least two years before I can say that I'm cured. And even then they don't
consider you cured. It could come back after that who knows when and if it
would. For now I'm just taking it day to day and I try not to think about
it to  much. I'm just going to stay optimistic and keep on trucking."

 "I'm glad to hear you say that I know you and Steve had a hard time
during this and I'm delighted to see that you've gotten past that and things
are  going well between the two of you." I just looked over at Steve and he
just  looked up at the ceiling I knew then that he must have told his mother
what was  going on when I threw him out of the hospital that night. I cringed
with a bit  of guilt.

 "We're doing good, things just got a little complicated I was having  a
hard time but I got past that thanks to an old friend who just happen to show
 up unexpectedly. He helped me get past the hump of being angry and move on
with  everything." I could see that look on Steve's face again I just
couldn't figure  out why he was feeling this way about some one he didn't even
know yet. It  wasn't like him to be like that. Steve always gave people the
benefit of the  doubt until he got to know them. I didn't know if he really
was jealous of Randy  or not. It bothered me to see him like this.

 "Well since I'm here and things are going so well have you two  thought
about the party at the house and what you want? Laura and Tiffany are
excited to get this into gear and they want to work on it with you Mike. They
want to know if they can come tomorrow and talk about ideas they have and what
you want. And don't let Laura start running the show ask Steve he knows how
she  can be, she means well she just likes to be the organizer to much some
times.  Don't let her talk you into things you don't want Mike and I mean
that if you  don't like something tell her no and if you can't because you
don't want to hurt  her feelings then you tell me and I'll kick her butt
and get it straightened out  for you okay?" I had to laugh to myself Mrs. C
was being so serious I had no  doubt that she would do as I ask if Laura got
out of hand.

 "To be honest Mom Steve and I have just begun to talk about what we
wanted. The one idea that we like is that we thought we would write something to
each other and just say that and then present each other with our rings.
Speaking of which have you seen the rings Steve has picked out for us?" I was
 excited to show what he had picked out. I took them out from inside my
shirt and  took off the chain they were on so she could see them up close. She
liked them  and thought Steve had done a good job picking them out. The
night he gave them  to me I just held onto them and went to sleep I'll never
forget that night. I  kept six of the roses he gave me and now they were in the
biggest book I had  with more books on top I wanted to keep them so I'm
flattening them out so I can  have them put in between glass with the date he
gave them to me printed behind  them. I'd like to have a picture of the rings
taken and incorporate that into it  also. It would make a nice reminder of
our special day. Mom loved the rings  little did I know that she was with
Steve when he picked them out giving her  advice on the matter. I thanked her
when I found out for not ruining my fun when  I showed them to her and she
acted like she never saw them.

 "So should I let Laura loose tomorrow or call her off?"

 "Let her come I can deal with her we get along just fine. And like  you
said if she's a problem I'll just send her back to you!"

 "Thanks you're a real nice guy. I'm just kidding you don't you worry
about her."

 "I won't Mom I won't and besides Steve will be here he knows how to  deal
with her I'm sure."

 "Don't forget she's the big sister for him and she can corner him in
sometimes when she puts her mind to it."

 "Just tell them to knock it off if they get out of hand on you or  tell
them you'll call me to come and talk to them. Tell them I'll be using their
two first names loudly." I had to laugh she didn't pull any punches with
them.  I'm sure I wasn't going to have a problem with either one of them and
I knew I  wasn't worried about Steve at all. After all I could just threaten
to him with  no sex. That would keep him on the up and up and on my side to
boot.

"Don't worry Mom I can handle him just fine I'm sure he  won't be a
problem. If he is I'll threaten him with something god knows what but  I'll
think of something." And then Mr. C spoke up having sat there the entire  time
not saying anything and what came out of him mouth shocked the shit out of
me.

 "You could cut him off from sex!" Mrs. C reached over and hit him on  the
shoulder and scolded him for saying such a thing. Steve and I both laughed
because he was the one person that we both thought would never talk about
our  life style in that manner. It was just so unexpected from him I had a
hard time  believing that he actually said it. The rest of their visit didn't
last long  Mrs. C didn't want to get me to tired my first night home. I
reassured her that  I had plenty of time to rest while I was in the hospital.
And that making me  tired from visiting was a pleasure for me. They were out
the door leaving Steve  and I alone. My mother had called while Steve's
parents were here and I had to  call her back. We talked for a little while she
was glad that I was home and  looked forward to coming and seeing me. I told
her that Laura and Tiffany were  coming tomorrow and why so that she knew I
was going to be busy for a while. I  didn't mind if she came but I didn't
think she would. She was still having a  hard time with Steve and I even
though she tried to act like she didn't I could  still tell that she was. We
talked for almost an hour before we hung up. I had  promised that we would see
each other in a few days and we would have lunch or  something.

We finally were alone for the evening. There was  going to be no more phone
calls and it was late enough to know that no one would  show up. Steve was
going through the mail because he hadn't done so the past  couple of days
and he threw an envelope at me like he was disgusted with it. It  was from
Randy, I was a little surprised to see him send me anything but when I  really
looked at it I had a feeling it was a card. I opened to see that it was a
get card well card. He had written a short note in it with his apologies
again  and with hopes that I was getting better and would be home soon. I
thought it  was a nice thing to do. Steve for some reason wasn't happy that he had
sent it.  He couldn't figure was this guy all of a sudden wanted to be all
chummy and  friendly after all the things he had done to me. Steve told me
that I should be  wary of this guy and not let him get to close that he felt
that he was just  setting me up to harm me in some way. I was having a hard
time with his attitude  and behavior towards Randy it just wasn't making any
sense to me that Steve was  being like this he was never like this to
someone he didn't know. It was  beginning to annoy me.

 "What is your problem Steve what makes you like this about Randy?  He's
done nothing to you, the one person here that should hate this guy is me  and
I don't. You've never met him and usually you give people you don't know
the  benefit of the doubt. You're not doing that this time. You've decided
to hate  him and it seems that you're not going to give him the time of day.
Let me tell  you something Steve I like him we seem to hit it off pretty
good that day. Maybe  he'll become a better friend maybe he won't but I won't
have you treating him  badly or being rude to him before he and I get that
chance. If you have a  problem with  that then I want a really good
explanation as to why.  Otherwise this conversation is over about Randy. Is there
something you'd like  to say or explain to me why you already dislike him
before you get the chance to  meet him?" I just looked at him and waited for a
response but he didn't have one  he just looked down at the pile of mail and
kept going through it. I wasn't  really mad at him but I was mystified with
his behavior I had never seen this in  him before. More than anything I
wanted an explanation but it wasn't going to be  just then. I went into the
kitchen to make up our dinner and put it on the  table. We made small talk during
dinner but there was an underlying current  between us about what was not
being discussed. Close to the end of the meal I  just couldn't let it go I
needed to talk this out with him I wanted to know what  his problem was and
maybe we could work it out whatever it was.

 "Steve we're sitting here talking about everything but what's really
going on. What exactly is up with the way you feel about Randy? Something has
to  be wrong for you to be acting like this. I want us to get this cleared up
 whatever it is. Talk to me tell me what's eating at you."

 "I just don't like him that's all. I don't like the things he did to
you when you were in high school that's all. He hurt you and tormented you all
 that time and never thought anything of it. And now all of a sudden he
waltz's  into your hospital room and says gee I'm sorry can you forgive and
you do. How  can you do that? I remember when you told me that story about him
and I could  tell how much it hurt you and now your sitting here telling me
 to just let  it go and that you want to be his friend. I'm sorry but I don'
t buy this guys  line of bullshit and that's exactly what it is Michael a
line of bullshit. I  can't make you not see him but as far as I'm concerned
I don't want to see his  face in our house. If you bring him here make sure I
'm not here." I was stunned  by his admission and feelings towards Randy.
I really was speechless for a few  moments I didn't know what to say to him.
I just kept eating my meal not saying  anything to him. But I had to change
his mind I didn't want this animosity he  was harboring towards Randy to go
on. I wanted Randy to be a friend I liked him  enough the day that we
talked.

 "Steve if I can let it go and forgive why can't you? I'm grateful  that
Randy showed up that day. He really was the one that made me realize that I
needed to keep fighting. He was the one that made me realize I needed to
call  you. For just those things alone I'm grateful that he came to see me. Why
can't  you see that? Why can't you trust my judgment of him and what he
had to say? You  know me I believe that there are no accidents in life. For
whatever reason he  came back into my life perhaps it was just so that I
realized that I needed to  keep fighting. If that was the only reason I met him
again don't you think it  was worth it? You could almost say that he gave me
my life back. Why is that  such a problem Steve I just don't understand you
this time it's just not like  you to be this way with someone you don't
know. I'm just asking you to give him  a chance that's all."

 "There's no way I'm giving him that chance as far as I'm concerned  he's
here for one reason and one reason only and that's to hurt you in some way.
 That's been his track record all those years. It was his mission in life
to hurt  you and try and destroy you in some way. I can't believe that he
since he hated  himself so much all that time which drove him to beat the shit
out of you both  physically and mentally that all of a sudden he's okay with
being gay. And he  wants you to forgive him and he's okay with being gay
now and likes himself  that's a huge change for someone like that. I just don'
t buy it Mike you do what  you want but I want no part of it. You want to
be friends with him then you do  that but I'll keep my guard up and I can
tell you  this now if he hurts you  in any way either physically or mentally I
swear to god as my witness that I'll  kill Michael I swear I'll kill him."
He got from the table picked up his plate  and glass and went into the
kitchen leaving me sitting in the dining room. I was  stunned I didn't know what
to do. I knew I couldn't fight with him over this. It  wasn't worth it. I
thought I should let him cool off and perhaps he would change  his mind if I
did. Maybe all he needed was some time.

 "Okay Steve I'll drop the subject for now. I'll let you know if he's
coming over to visit or if I'm going to see him so that you are aware of me
seeing him. I'm not going to hide the fact that I might end up being his
friend.  I'm just stunned by your behavior I've never seen you like this and I'
m having a  hard time understanding it Steve. I've just never seen you like
this and it  bothers me to say the least. I'll finish cleaning up this mess
from dinner what  little there is why don't you go and watch the TV and
relax don't worry about  this anymore and I won't talk about it anymore to you
alright? I don't want us  fighting over  this it's not worth it right?" I
tried to change my tone of  voice and sound more upbeat and that I wasn't
going to let it get to us.

 "Whatever Mike but don't think that I'll change my mind over this one
because I won't. he's a fucking jerk as far as I'm concerned and it bothers
me  that you don't see that. He's playing with you and I don't like it at
all. And I  don't like the fact that you can't see that." Now I was getting
mad but I made a  promise to myself in the hospital not to let my anger run
my mouth anymore  especially with Steve. But he was pushing me to my limit
and I knew that I  better leave the room and stay away from him for a little
while so that I could  regain my emotions and not let the anger take over.

 "I'm only going to say this only one time to you. You're making me  mad
now because you're pushing the wrong buttons Steve. I am not stupid about
people I'm a pretty judge of people it's part of my job reading people. And
after talking to him for as long as I did I think I would know if he was
being  sincere or not, if he is lying then he's damned good at it and I'll be
the first  to admit I made a mistake. And if he's doing this to just set me
up to hurt me  as you seem to think then I will be the one to deal with him
not you. I'm older  now and not totally defenseless as you seem to think all
of a sudden. And you're  being childish to make the threat that you would
kill him if he hurt me in  anyway. First of all I'm not going to stand there
this time and let him just  back off and hit me. I'm not the kid I was back
then I was afraid of him then  because he always had his friends with him
and I wasn't as sure of myself then  as I am now. So if it would come down to
it I'll defend myself before he gets  the first punch in. But I'm not
worried about that because I know that's not the  situation. Now I suggest you go
watch TV and not be here with me. I'm not going  to turn this into a fight.
So just leave me alone for a while."

 "I swear to God sometimes you just don't think. All you want to see  is
the good in people and some people just give you a snow job and you believe
them you're too gullible sometimes Mike and this is one of those times. I
know  Randy believe me...I know.." I could tell by the way he said it that he
knew Randy  somehow he knew him. But how, how did he know him what
circumstances had they  met under? This conversation just took on a new direction and
I wasn't going to  leave this alone not now.

 "What do you mean you know this Randy? What's that supposed to mean
Steve?"

 "That's not what I meant by it when I said I know... I just  meant..."

 "No Steve the way you said I know Randy you meant it, you meant what  you
said when you said it. How do you know him Steve how do you know Randy? And
don't lie to me do not. You better tell me how you met him."

 "I told you that wasn't what I meant Michael." But he wasn't looking  at
me I knew he was lying he wasn't telling me something.

 "Steve look at me look me in the eye and tell you never met him  before
this that you never talked to him before this, tell me Steve look at me  and
tell me." I was mad as hell now because I knew he lied to me. Why I didn't
know and it didn't matter what mattered now was the truth I wanted to know
the  truth. All of a sudden Steve and I had a new problem he lied to me and I
had  never lied to him and as far as I knew he had never lied to me I began
to wonder  if that was true.

 "I'm waiting Steve come on look at me." He was walking around in the
kitchen and not looking at me. I knew that he knew Randy, he had talked to him
before that day in the hospital when Randy came to see me. That meant Randy
had  also had lied to me? Why were the two of them lying to me?

 "Mike it's not what you think. It's just that..."

 "It's just what Steve? How long have you known him?  What else  am I
supposed to think Steve ? And  what do you think I'm thinking it is  Steve? And I
'm sure you and he have talked now. I can tell by the way you're  acting
and you still haven't looked me in the eye and told me different. So tell  me
what I'm thinking if you know what I'm thinking is the wrong thing." I was
 getting really pissed off now. I knew for a fact he had lied and that hurt
I had  never lied to him, never. I was hurt and I could feel in my gut how
sick it was  making me feel. I didn't want to even look at him anymore
because I had the time  to think how they knew each other. By the way he was
acting and by what he said  there was only one logical explanation to his
behavior and why he didn't want me  to have anything to do with Randy.

 `Listen Mike I can explain I can make you understan...."

 "No, no you can't Steve you can't even begin to make me understand
anything right now. Because I realize now that you and him have been fucking
each other. Isn't it Steve isn't that what you've been doing together?
Fucking!  The whole time I've been in the hospital you two must have been having a
wonderful time in our bed laughing at me while I was laying in the
hospital? The  tears started to fall and I hated myself more than usual I didn't
want to cry in  front of him this not this time. I chocked back the tears I cut
them off and  wiped them off my face. I'd show him I wasn't going to break
I'd show him I  wasn't going to become unglued.

 "It just happened it didn't mean anything it was only one time you  have
to believ....."

"You want me to fucking believe a fucking  liar? The man I love went to bed
with another man? What I wasn't enough?  I  wasn't good enough for you is
that it? You thought since I was in the hospital  that if would be okay to
just have a little fun that I would never know? What  Steve What?"

 "Mike I'm sorry I hate myself for letting it happ.."

 "You fucking bastard you lying fucking bastard! Why? Why? How could  you
do this to me? What? You figured you better line some one up in case I  didn'
t live through this. What was Randy your back up plan? And you knew who he
was and what he meant in my life before I met you and you did it anyway? I
just  want to know who's idea was it for him to come to the hospital and see
me."

 "I don't know why he came to see you I didn't tell him to come to see
you. I don`t know what he was thinking or what he had in his mind. You`ve got
to  believe me Mike you`ve got to."

 "You know what Steve this hurts more than Randy hitting me like he  did in
high school  This hurts more than all the insults that he ever said  to me.
He must have been laughing his ass off sitting there in the hospital and
feeding me a line of shit. It's no wonder that you knew what kind of guy he
was  when you said it earlier to me. You knew real well because you were
fucking him.  Of all people to do this with. Did you go out of your way to get
him in bed once  you met him? How long did it take you to find him?"

 "That's not fair Mike you don't know how it happened."

 "What in the fuck is there to know Steve and who fucking cares how or  why
it happened I certainly don't fucking care I can tell you that much. What
are you trying to say that if I knew how it happened it would make it okay
because why it happened changes the fact that you fucked each other. I`d
love to  hear you try and explain that one to me to change my mind."

 "You have every right to be mad at me Mike. ... I don't blame you  for..."

 "MAD? MAD? Oh Steve mad doesn`t even begin to explain how I feel. The
first person that I ever loved who I thought loved me the first person I
trusted  with all my heart and soul I trusted you with my life without even
blinking an  eye when in reality you just used me to get a piece of ass until
another one  came along that you could fuck over to."

"That's not it  at all, its not like that I didn't want this to happen I ...
.."

 "That's such a line of fucking bullshit Steve, if you didn't want it  to
happen then it wouldn`t have happened its that simple. You could have said
no. What did he do rape you? The problem with that is that you can't rape
the  willing! Big powerful mister I'll fucking kill him if he hurts you...
.bullshit  Steve admit it Steve it was all bullshit. I know why you didn't want
us to be  friends because he was fucking you. What did he mess those plans up
when he came  to see me in the hospital. You didn't know he was coming to
see me did you? That  wasn't in the plans that you  were making with him was
it? And that's  another reason you were so mad at him you wanted to kill him
for another reason,  you wanted to kill him because what he was going to
tell me about you two that's  why you're afraid of him meeting me another
time because you were afraid he  would tell me the truth."

 "He was going to tell you because I told him that it couldn't go on  that
what happened that one time was a mistake that I should have never done
anything with him in the first place Mike. I wanted to tell you but I didn't
know how. He was the one that played me Mike. And I let him I don`t know why
I  did it I knew the minute it was over I had made a mistake. And I told
him that  it was a mistake and it wasn`t going to happen again." He dropped
his head and  just stood there not saying anything more he looked defeated
but at that moment  I didn't care I was furious with him and didn't care how
bad he felt at that  moment I wanted to hurt him worse than anything I
wanted him to really hurt  inside. Just like how my heart felt it was breaking I
felt like I was being  shredded to pieces. I yanked the gold chain from my
neck and threw the chain and  rings on the kitchen table and walked out
leaving him standing there. I grabbed  the car keys and started walking towards
the front door before I left and turned  to him and told him how I felt at
that moment.

 "You're a fucking god damned liar you're a piece of fucking scum
asshole. I hope you fucking choke on his cock. Go see your new boyfriend Steve  I'm
sure he'll be glad to see you. Because I'll never trust you again as long
as  I live Steve, never." I could feel the tears beginning to start and I
was damned  if I was going to let him see me crying I wanted to go out the
door with my head  held up I wasn't going to let him see me crumble. I grabbed
the door knob and  pulled the door shut as hard as I could. I ran to my car
got in and started the  engine. I could see him opening the front door and
coming towards me he was  yelling for me to stop. I threw the car in reverse
and stepped on the gas. I  almost hit the car that was parked directly
behind me. He was getting closer and  I could hear him yelling for me to stop and
wait for him he wanted to talk to me  he didn't want me to leave. He kept
yelling for me not to leave like this not to  drive away. I watched him
disappear in my rearview mirror and I began to sob  harder. How could he have
done this to me? How could he have hurt me so bad?  This wasn't fair it just
wasn't fair for this to happen not after what I had  been through with the
cancer. We had been through so much together. Since the  first day I met him
until that day in the shower. The first time we made love. I  sobbed harder
and the tears kept flowing. I hated him how could he have been so  willing to
just throw it all away with Randy? Randy fucking Randy Crawford the  one
person that he had to go and fuck with. Steve was right I had been gullible  I
believed him and I knew I shouldn't have Steve was right I just wanted to
see  the good in people and this time I let him fuck with my head. I believed
everything that mother fucking cock sucker said to me. I'll never trust
anyone  like that again. Yea right everything happens for a reason right the
reason this  time was to teach me a lesson in life about not trusting anyone
that pretends  that want to be your friend. All I could do was see his face
laughing at me all  I could see was Randy Crawford sitting in  that chair in
the hospital  talking to me and then laughing. And Steve standing behind him
holding his hand  the two of them together just laughing at me. I was so
hurt I couldn't think  anymore I couldn't think straight I couldn't see
straight and all I felt was I  hurt I was. The only man I ever loved had been a
joke he had used me to have his  fun. I couldn't stop crying no matter how
hard I tried.

 I never saw the car that hit me broad side as I ran the red light. I
remember being pushed towards the passenger side door. I felt the snap in my
left leg right before the cars came to a stop and I remember feeling the
ungodly  pain that began to radiate through out my body. And I remember reaching
up to  feel the blood that was starting to run down my forehead and into my
eyes. I got  light headed and  I thought thinking that Dr. Grisales wasn't
going to be  happy to see me like this not after he had gotten me back
together and sent me  home in a healthy state.