Date: Fri, 13 Aug 2004 12:54:10 -0700 (PDT)
From: Dane Bruebeck <dowtheory2001@yahoo.com>
Subject: Symmetry Part 12

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				Symmetry-12
 Evan's Story

"I'm telling you for the last time, she doesn't want to see you.  What do
you expect?"  Edmund Langston, Cece's husband, stood blocking the entrance
way at the large ornate front door of his house.  He was a big man in
length and breadth and he dominated the doorway in a very imposing manner.

"Edmund, I know she's confused and angry about this but I have to see her.
It's been almost two weeks already.  She is not returning my phone calls
and when I came by on Wednesday Harriet said she wasn't in.  She is
avoiding me but I must see her.  Surely, you understand," Evan said with as
much composure as he could muster.  This was beyond what he had ever
envisaged.

"Evan, Evan, be rational.  She is too shocked right now.  What do you
really expect?  For god's sake, she found you and your best friend having
sex in the kitchen.  It was just too blatant for her, just too much to
take."

"We were not having sex in the kitchen.  I wasn't expecting her.  I mean, I
know she sometimes lets herself in when she suspects I am sleeping late on
the weekend but I never deliberately expected her to find out like this.  I
was going to tell her properly.  Come on, Edmund, let me just see her.  I
know her, I know she'll talk to me." Evan explained again desperately.
This whole nightmarish experience was so draining and he wanted to be over
with it.

"I'm sorry, Evan.  And frankly, I think you should leave her alone.  Really
Evan, she was so proud of you and your accomplishments. You and your
parents are the same; you all end up betraying her trust."  And with that
Edmund closed the door, leaving Evan bewildered on the porch.

	Evan was left with no choice but to leave.  He headed to his car,
got in and took a few moments before starting the car; perhaps expecting
that Cece would burst through the door and call him back.  He looked at the
front door expectantly and then gave up and drove away.  The thoughts
returned to torment and haunt him as they had done so persistently over the
past days.  How could he have been so stupid? How could he have forgotten
that he had given Cece keys to his apartment? How could he have forgotten
that she had a habit of waking him up on Saturday mornings when she was
particularly excited about some plan to go to the market or for breakfast?
After all these months, he should have been more alert.  He definitely
should not have been caught almost naked, his tongue planted deep in his
best friend's throat having his ass cheeks groped and spread apart.  But
that is how they had been found.  He shuddered at the memory.

	Cece's car had screeched so loudly as she drove off while Evan had
still been trying to get his pants on. He had called her on her cell phone
immediately but it had rang for an eternity without answer.  His attempt to
chase after her had been halted by Ron who had sensibly explained that
perhaps she had needed time to come to terms with the situation.  Evan had
agreed on giving her space but almost two week later she still had not
barged.

	Ron had stood by his side, comforting him and assuring him that
things would be fine.  With every fiber in his being, Evan wanted to
believe that this was a passing problem, but he doubted.  He doubted Cece
would come to terms with him and Ron.  He felt so completely agitated, his
insides churned with confusion and trepidation.  Maybe he had stepped into
this new life blindly.  Cece obviously felt that the relationship between
Ron and Evan was a problem.  Having a crush on your best friend was perhaps
a common happening especially if the friend in question was as tall, dark
and gorgeous as Ron.  That was not the biggest problem.  Being in love with
your best friend and engaging in the hottest, sweetest, mind-blowing
emotional, spiritual, physical relationship with that friend was not a
common happening.  That was the problem.  But he knew without a doubt, it
was the best problem he had ever found himself in.


Ron's Story

	The phone call he had received in his office earlier that day would
perhaps change his life.  Really, this was huge.  Finally, his hard work
had finally paid off.  Three months ago, he had sent a query to a national
monthly literary review and he had quickly forgotten about it because he
had doubted such a prestigious publication would be interested in his work.
He had mentioned his doubts to Evan who had promptly told him "it was their
fucking fault if those snobs couldn't see that he was the most amazing
writer in the world".  Okay, so Evan was a little biased.  When the
editor's assistant had replied, asking him to send more samples of his
writing, Ron had been elated but prudent.  Now he was over the moon.  The
editor had called him to inform him that a series of his stories had been
chosen for release in six upcoming publications.  The publications included
some of the greatest modern writers from around the world and to be
included in their ranks was a dream come true.

	He sat in his kitchen anticipating Evan's arrival.  The week had
been rough on both of them.  The plans to move in together had been shelved
for the moment.  Their relationship had developed so rapidly, so smoothly
over the past few months and now the problems with Cece had added another
dimension to their love.  The dazed, hazy, blissful phase was over.  Now
they were confronted with a situation that neither really knew how to
handle.  Evan had been so distraught on Saturday after the Cece's graphic
discovery of them but Ron had been impressed by his poise as the days went
by.  He had remained rational and courageous through it all.  Even as the
week went on, Evan had kept his optimism.  His mum had been right; they
were strong.  He picked up his phone and dialed his parent's house.

"Hello," his mum's cheery voice chimed through.

"Hey, mum.  How is it going?"

"Fine, fine, Ronny.  Forget about me.  How is Evan?  Did his sister talk to
him?  How long is she going to keep this up?"  The numerous query thing was
her modus operandi and she kept it up unfailingly.

"He's being really tough about it, mum. He is keeping his hopes up and I'm
doing everything I can to help.  It pisses me off though that his sister is
being so uncompromising."

"Give it some time and you just do you part by loving him, honey. Tell Evan
to call me if he needs to talk.  I talked to him briefly at his office
yesterday but he was busy.  I think about him all the time.  Actually,
about both of you.  I want you both to be happy," his mum said infusing her
words with a sincerity that Ron had come to expect.

"Thanks, mum.  Something else happened to me today.  I got a call from the
editor of National Review.  They want to publish my stories," Ron said and
seconds later was assaulted by a loud jubilant gleeful scream. She shrieked
into the phone so enthusiastically, Ron had to pull it away from his ear.
They spent the next minutes talking about the good news.  Halfway through
the conversation, Ron heard the front door open and Evan walked in dropping
his coat and tie on the chair.

	  Evan looked tired and worn out as he walked towards the kitchen.
His usually upright posture was slightly skewed.  Just slightly, but Ron
could tell.  His hazel eyes lacked their usual sparkle and when he
attempted to smile, it was fragile.

"Mum I gotta go.  I'll talk to you later," Ron announced and after her
loving goodbye he hang up and looked at Evan fixedly.

"She still won't see me," Evan said, his voice sounding sad and weak.

"Come here," Ron said, pushing his chair back and tapping his lap with his
hand.  Evan walked over looked at the offered spot and after planting a
kiss on Ron's forehead, he sat down sideways on Ron's lap.  Ron placed his
lips on Evan's tight bicep, inhaling the unique scent he was so addicted to
and then laced his hands around Evan's waist.

"She won't see me," Evan repeated sadly.

"Well, give her time.  She loves you so much, she'll come around," Ron said
his nose nuzzling against Evan.

"What if she doesn't?"  Evan asked turning his head and looking into Ron's
eyes.

"She will," Ron repeated.  They both needed to believe that. They continued
to sit silently, each contemplating the situation.

"So, how was your day?"  Evan asked after a protracted silence.

"Actually, good.  Remember the literary review I told you about?  The
editor called; they're going to publish my work."

Evan sprang up from Ron's lap, his face beaming.  "Ron!  Wow!  That is
absolutely great!  Didn't I tell you?  Didn't I say they'd call you?"  Evan
reached and pulled Ron off his chair and then after showering his face with
triumphant kisses, he threw his arms around him and hugged him.  They
started laughing and spinning with their arms around each other.

"Baby, they are going to publish my work!"  Ron said, halting their
impromptu dance and looking intently into Evan's eyes.  He captured the
pride and joy in those hazel eyes and stored that look in his heart and
mind.  It was the inspiration he would need for his future work.  He moved
forward and kissed Evan's waiting lips.  Their lips touched lovingly; the
tingling contact never failing to arouse.  Evan pulled back and led them to
the couch where they sat in their favorite position; Ron leaning against
the arm rest, his legs spread apart and Evan leaning lightly against him
between his legs, their hands clasped together.

"I never doubted," Evan said as he moved his body around trying to find his
sweet spot.

"I know.  I've been thinking it's about time I quit Cameron and Kuch.  We
both know it's not what I want.  They're paying really well for my stories.
That plus my savings, I could work more.  Honestly, baby, I am so done with
Cameron.  It's about time I jumped in with both feet," Ron loved this
closeness with Evan and he imbibed it into his being as he spoke.

Evan gave his simple reply. "Do it, babe."

"You still want to move in together?"  Ron asked his hand moving up and
down Evan's torso lazily.

"I don't know.  I'm not sure now is a good time.  This stuff with Cece
isn't exactly conducive," Evan replied unbuttoning his shirt so that Ron's
hands could caress naked skin.

 "Oh," Ron said surprised at Evan's answer.  How did Cece figure into their
living arrangements?  There had to be more.  There was.

"And I've been thinking.  Moving in is a big step.  Like if we live
together, it's pretty much official.  What will the people at work think?"
Evan said sounding totally at ease with his words.  They were harsh to
Ron's ears.

"Who cares what they think?  Do you care what they think?"

"I take it you don't care what they think," Evan said turning his head to
look at Ron.

"I don't care.  Come on, you actually think it matters to them?  Evan,
why?"  Ron hoped this conversation was not heading where it seemed to be
heading.  He held his breath.

"Because, I am not going to let personal matters ever interfere with my
career."

"That's great.  But I hope you don't think pretending and keeping secrets
is the right way to go about that."  Yes, they were back at square one.

"I have given this a whole lot of thought.  My private life and my career
are apart and if I have my way, they should never cross.  Come on,
Ron. Don't be so naive. You think that us being together will have no
bearing on how my career develops.  Just tell me; how many top, renowned,
openly gay CEOs can you name?"  Evan pulled up and attempted to seat
upright forcing Ron to take his legs off the chair.  They sat side by side,
a foot and a half of space between them.

"I don't know any.  But I'm sure there are a whole lot of them.  Just
because they're not on CNN or on the front page of Wall Street Journal
doesn't mean that gay CEOs don't exist."

"They exist.  Of course, they exist.  They just don't publicize their
personal lives.  Don't..." Evan said firmly.

"Don't what?  Don't tell you that I do not agree?  Well, I don't.  I am not
going to hide.  I love who I am, who I am becoming.  I love that I love you
and you are a man.  There is a depth to our relationship that I could never
achieve with a woman.  I am proud of who I am.  Unlike you, I do not mind
if my personal life interferes with my career.  Evan, I don't..."

"Of course you don't, Ron.  You're a writer.  You are not held up to the
same standards.  I have been rejected by the only family I have.  I will
not be rejected by those in the field where I have worked so hard to curve
a niche for myself."

"So what are you saying?"  This whole conversation was moving too fast and
yet in his head the words were spinning in a lurid slow motion.  Ron closed
his eyes awaiting the answer.

"I am saying that I regret Cece found us.  I wish I could have saved her
this.  I am saying I do not want people from work to know because it is
none of there business.  I am saying I need you to understand that," Evan
answered calmly.  They did not face each other.

"I don't think I can."

"That's very typical of you, Ron."

"What do you mean?" Ron felt his heart pound and he turned to face Evan who
was staring straight ahead.

"I mean, it's very much like you.  Your arrogance is astounding," Evan said
in monotone in an attempt block out all his emotion.

"Evan, Evan, listen to yourself.  Listen to us.  This is so fucked up."

"I know.  Understand me, babe.  I love you.  I am begging you to see it my
way.  I need you to understand where I am coming from," Evan said sadly.
The emotions emerged.

"You're making this so hard.  This doesn't have to be complicated.  Why are
you being such a coward?"  Ron asked.

"I am not a coward, Ron.  I'm being realistic.  Maybe with time, I'll
change my mind about this but for now; I need you to be by my side on this
one.  You have to see it my way."  Evan's voice cracked as he spoke.

"I can't."  Try as he could, Ron failed to see it Evan's way.  What
happened to their strength?  He wanted for them freedom and happiness.

"Fuck you!"  Evan said angrily and finally turned to face Ron.  His eyes
blazed with a multitude of emotions.  Usually, Ron could read those hazel
eyes so easily, now they were murky, the messages undecipherable.  He felt
a fury mount within him.

"Well, fuck you too!"  Green eyes met hazel eyes.  Their emotions
smoldering between them caused an almost palpable tension.  Anger, fear,
frustration, pain collided and crushed in the space surrounding them.
Seconds passed, almost a minute.  Evan broke the gaze, reached for his
jacket and tie and headed for the door.