Date: Tue, 17 Aug 2004 08:00:16 -0700 (PDT)
From: Dane Bruebeck <dowtheory2001@yahoo.com>
Subject: Symmetry-13

If stories containing depictions of m/m relationships are offensive to you
please exit site.

If it is illegal to read such stories or if you are under 18, please exit
site.

Practice safe sex.  My characters have been tested and are monogamous.

Thank you.  Email comments and criticisms to dowtheory2001@yahoo.com

				Symmetry-13

Evan's Story

	Evan had never felt so alone in his life.  And now, as he turned
around for the millionth time, he realized that he was literally alone.  He
lay in his bed and tossed around trying to forget what had transpired.  How
had this happened?  He hadn't slept alone since the night he and Ron had
confessed their love.  That was ages ago.  His bed felt so foreign to him.
How had he succeeded in sleeping in it before Ron?  Sharing his bed with
Ron had been an intimate, precious experience and he ached for it.
Usually, they would fall asleep snuggled in each other's arms.  Later, they
would each move apart but always, their limbs would stay connected.  They
had woken up more than once with their hands joined or their legs
intertwined.  Even now, depending on how he moved, he could catch a whiff
of Ron's scent.  Ron's pillow was so agonizingly sweet to smell that he
buried his nose in it even as he willed himself to forget the events of the
evening.

	He wanted so badly to reach for the phone and call Ron but he
talked himself out of that idea every time it entered his mind.  Was Ron
sleeping?  Were the soft, long breaths passing through his pulpy, sultry
lips already as he slept?  He felt his cock stir at the image.  Sometimes,
Evan would wake up to use the bathroom or something and he would return and
stare at Ron's sleeping, peaceful face until the sight of those parted lips
would cause his cock to harden.  The last time he watched Ron sleep, he had
been so aroused and tempted that he had been forced to touch those lips
with his finger.  He had traced their outline and then when Ron had let out
a long breath caressing Evan's finger, his cock had started dripping.  He
remembered the horniness and torment of that night and wished Ron was by
his side.  God, he was tortured.  He remembered how Ron had lifted his head
slightly and taken Evan's finger into his warm mouth, sucking on it.  His
eyes had remained closed and Evan had gasped at the suddenness of Ron's
move.  That had led to middle-of-the-night lovemaking. Ron had fucked Evan
so splendidly and they had each achieved exquisite, prolonged orgasms.
That was then.  Now things were different, he was not only alone, he was
lonely.


	Evan listened to Mr.A going through the key points of the merger
without actually internalizing the words.  He heard the words and could
have responded aptly to any query but that was because he was on cruise
control.  His mind was barely on the subject and his heart was clearly out
of it.  He was dreaming of another time.

"So, Evan what do you think about finalizing this bit by mid-November?"
Mr.A asked as he leaned back on his large, executive, leather chair in his
large executive office.

"Well, if F.T. Riley comes through with their numbers on time, it should be
a sure thing," Evan said from the other side of the mahogany table, across
from his boss.

"I guess, we'll finish this up with the rest of the team next week. I just
needed the latest figures from your department," Mr. said and clasped his
hands before him.  The meeting was done and Evan got up from his chair.

"I better get back then," he said producing a forced smile that he shot to
his boss.  He turned and headed for the exit.

"Evan, I don't mean to pry but is everything okay?  You've been looking a
little down these past days," Mr. A asked causing Evan to turn.

	Evan's heart skipped a bit.  Mr.A was a very perceptive man and his
concern did not surprise Evan.  It was now three days since the fall out
with Ron and he had not talked to anyone about it.  There was no Cece, no
Ron and he definitely wasn't going to confide in his boss.  What would he
say?  That he was hurting badly from the distance between himself and Ron?
That he hadn't been sleeping because being in his bed at night caused an
aching that he doubted he could ever overcome?  That he loved Ron?  He
couldn't say those things.

"No.  Everything's okay.  I've just been working hard on finishing up the
paperwork for the merger.  I'll be fine once this is over."  What a weak
lie!  Sure, he was working hard but that had little to do with the agony he
was experiencing.

"Take it easy.  Don't push too hard.  Perhaps you need a few days off.  I
just realized you've been handling so much since your promotion.  Maybe you
need a vacation.  A couple of weeks away will do you good.  Let Vanessa
know what days you'd like to have off," Mr. A said the concern in his eyes
showing clearly.

"Thanks.  That sounds good.  I'll leave the files with Vanessa before I go
home today," Evan reached for the door knob and forced another smile.

"Oh, I spoke with your friend this morning.  Ronald Shaw?  He told me he
was leaving us.  I'm really going to miss him.  He is so hardworking and
such a positive part of our team.  But isn't it great?  I mean his writing
and all?  I never knew we had a burgeoning Mark Twain in our midst."
Hearing Ron's name was like receiving a blow in the gut.  It hurt.

"Yeah, yeah, it's great.  He is a truly amazing writer."  Evan wanted to
run out but he resisted the temptation.

"You two are close, aren't you?  I guess you'll miss him the most out of
everyone."  His boss had just delivered another punch to Evan's gut.  Damn,
it hurt!

"Yes, I will."  A colossal understatement.


Ron's Story

	Ron had never felt so lost in his life.  He sat in his apartment,
after a hard day at work, staring at the phone.  For the third time, he
reached for the receiver and then put it back down. He wanted Evan. These
past three days had been torturous and he needed relief from his
pain. Three whole days.  How was that possible?  The first night after the
fall out he had somehow expected their little tiff to blow over.  Evan
would call and say he was sorry or he would call and they would talk it
out.  That hadn't happened.  Then, three whole days had passed.  Now that
Evan worked in a different department, his offices were located on the
opposite end of the building.  Amidst the hundreds of people who navigated
the corridors of Cameron and Kuch, it was easy for two people to avoid each
other.  It was even easier if those two people sequestered themselves in
their offices in an effort to avoid contact.  At the end of the week he
would leave his job.  That would perhaps end the awkwardness.

	Ron had done nothing but think of Evan.  He even thought at one
point he was being unrealistically demanding of Evan but he knew himself
well; he never did things in half measures.  As much as Evan could not be
open and above board about their relationship to the world, Ron could not
hide and be secretive about it.  Secrecy and openness did not go hand and
hand.  That simple fact was their breaking point.  But, god, he missed
Evan!  Every fiber of his being felt the absence and the anguish of it
overwhelmed him.  The phone's sudden ring startled him and he reached for
it.

"Hello."

"Ron?"

"Evan."  Ron swallowed hard.  The sound of Evan's voice replenished him so
completely.

"How's it going?"  Evan's question was absurd.  Wasn't it obvious?  It was
going terribly.

"Not good.  We need to talk," Ron stated.

"I know.  I've thought of nothing but us this past days," Evan said and Ron
heard the sadness in his voice.

"We definitely have to work this out.  Things can't go on like this, Evan."

"I know, baby.  I need you in my life."  Ron heard the endearment and
immediately felt the pain start to ebb out of his heart and mind.

"Yeah.  All I want is for us to give this everything we have.  That's all I
want, babe.  I can't go on like this.  I'm so glad you get it now.  I was
sure you'd see what I was talking about."

"Wait a minute.  I said I want to work it out with you, not with you and
the world.  I still feel the same way I felt before.  I want us like we
were before, that's all."  Evan said the soft tone gone.

"What?"  Nothing had changed.  Ron felt the pain creep back.

"Look, baby.  You're asking too much out of me. I love you, I want you, and
I have missed you like I've never missed anyone.  I want us back."  By the
sound of Evan's voice, it was clear a decision had been made.

"So do I but not your way. I will not do that."

"How can you say that?  How can you throw this away?  Come on."

"Evan, you're the one throwing this away.  You, not me."

"What are you saying, Ron?  That I have to choose between you and
everything else?"  Evan asked.  It was a loaded question. The line remained
silent, each contemplating their predicament.

"Yes," Ron whispered.

"You can't be serious.  Ron, you're kidding right?"  Ron's silence answered
Evan's question.  They remained silent.  "I've lost Cece because of this.
I cannot risk losing everything else.  What if this changes?  What if you
stop wanting me? Then I will have lost everything."

"I will not stop wanting you, Evan."  Ron knew that for a fact. He hoped
his promise would matter to Evan.  This was not about losing; it was about
gaining a love, a partner, a life.  Choosing their relationship would
simply make everything else better.  They could have it all.  Ron saw it so
clearly.

"Sorry.  I can't.  I just can't," Evan whispered and Ron's heavy hand let
the phone drop back to its cradle.  He leaned back on the couch and closed
his eyes.  He had never felt so defeated.  His heart was tight with a
piercing pain and his mind spun senselessly.  He felt something break
inside him. And he did something he had not done since he was a little boy;
he cried.  Not silent, controlled crying.  The sobs started from the bottom
of his core and heaved out of him audibly, the tears falling freely.


Evan's Story

"I propose a toast to Evan Shaw, Senior Associate extraordinaire for the
great job over the last few weeks.  To Evan Shaw," Mr. A announced to the
circle of colleagues standing around the conference room.

"To Evan Shaw," the twelve Cameron and Kuch associates and managers called
and raised their champagne flutes.

	Evan smiled at the warm sentiments.  Things were really looking up
for him.  His boss had appointed him to be head of the team involved in the
merger with F.T. Riley a month ago and he had performed his job
proficiently.  The crucial part of the negotiations was completed and the
final phase was a simple matter of signing and consolidating accounts.
Evan had thoroughly enjoyed the challenging endeavor.  The management team
had noticed his professionalism and Evan knew that if he kept up his
dedication, the sky was his limit.  The faces around him were beaming; he
was momentarily the star of the evening.  Then why did he feel like shit?

	It was now three weeks since that phone conversation that had ended
the affair with Ron.  Perhaps that was all it ever was? An affair; a
relationship of limited time.  The past weeks had been spent trying to get
over it.  His quest for success at his career dictated that he needed to
get over it.  Somehow he suspected that if the twelve people congratulating
him and smiling so fondly at him knew that he was in love with Ron, their
camaraderie would end.  Would they pat his shoulder and raise their glasses
to him if they knew the facts?  He couldn't imagine they would.  Loving Ron
had a price and he wasn't ready to pay it.  It was way too costly.

	Ron had packed his desk and left Cameron and Kuch two weeks ago.
Before he left, they had spent the week avoiding each other.  They were
both very good at it.  On the few occasions, they had met or seen each
other, it had been agonizing.  Ron had been cruel and unapologetic about
his disdain for Evan.  He had not smiled or even pretended friendship.  His
green eyes had looked through Evan with a noticeable coldness.  Evan
developed his own defense__ an empty hazel look of his own. Something had
died inside him and he knew for sure he could never resurrect it without
Ron.  Ron was gone and he needed to stop crying over it every night in his
lonely bed.


Ron's Story

"Allow me to get you a drink," the words landed on Ron's ears, knocking him
out of his depressing thoughts.  He turned and came face to face with the
smiling face of a very handsome, tall, dark-haired guy.  He was taken aback
by the offer but then what did he expect?  He was in a gay bar.  He had
ventured into "The Shade House" out of curiosity.  The initial idea had
been to hit a local bar next to his apartment for a drink but after a
moment's thought, he had decided that it was about time he discovered the
gay part of town.  After all, he was a gay man.

"Thanks.  I'm on my last one," he said to the guy.  This bar had really
surprised him.  Ron had expected something else.  Perhaps, a wall-to-wall
parade of drag queens in feather boas and sequins, some loud over-processed
dance music and effeminate men screaming in sharp lisps.  He had been
pleasantly surprised.  Apart from the rainbow colored flag hanging outside
the metal door, this was like any other bar he had been too.  The crowd
consisted of the regular types; the older guys at the bar talking to the
bartender, the loud jock types, the white collar types and everyone else.
Okay, okay maybe it was different.  The two college dudes at the pool table
spent half the time playing and the other half dry- humping and making out
lustfully; half the patrons were sipping cocktails instead of the typical
beers; and Ron had strong suspicion that the friendly waitress hadn't been
born a woman.

"Is this seat taken?" the guy asked motioning to the stool next to Ron.

"No," Ron said taking long sip from his bottle. The guy sat down and
ordered his drink.

"Are you new in town? I have never seen you around."  His voice exuded such
confidence and ease.

"This is my first time.  I mean, my first time at a gay bar. Funny, huh?"
Ron said the effects of the alcohol taking over his senses.  He was buzzed.

"Wow.  Congratulations.  You picked the perfect bar to get your feet wet.
When I came out three years ago, I ended up at "Powerdrill".  I was
traumatized for a month," the guy said laughing at the memory.  He had
obviously recovered well from the trauma.  "By the way, the name's Gabe."

"Ron.  Nice to meet you."


	Forty five minutes and half a dozen beers later, Ron's head was
spinning and Gabe (or was it Dave?) was holding him up leading him through
the door into his apartment.

"Nice place you have here.  Are you sure you want to do this?" Gabe/Dave
asked without loosening his hold on Ron's waist.

"I'm fine, I'm great.  I want to do this," Ron answered and then his hands
were on the guy's belt, pulling at the buckle.  This made sense.  Maybe, he
was so hang up on Evan because Evan was the first guy he had ever been
with.  He was clearly without experience when it came to men and perhaps
the problem wasn't so much Evan but a misplaced emotional connection.  His
brain told him that it was simply a matter of getting Evan out of his
system.  Of course there were other guys out there that could make him
happy.  Evan was perhaps straight, their thing was a glitch.  Gabe/Dave was
a perfect specimen of man.  He was ridiculously handsome, confident and
unabashedly gay.  Refreshing.

"Let me help you with that," Gabe/Dave said reaching for Ron's zipper.
This was about getting off and they both knew it. No phony nonsense.

"Is it Gabe or Dave?"

"Gabe.  Nice," Gabe said massaging Ron's rock hard abs.  Without any
ceremony, Gabe got down on his knees and tugged his fingers on either side
of Ron's waistband.  "Let me see what you have hidden there, stud."

	Gabe pulled down Ron's pants and boxers and sunk his face into that
dark crotch.  Ron felt the initial contact and he gasped.  His cock wasn't
completely hard yet but he knew it would be in no time.  He threw his head
back, closed his eyes and pushed pelvis forward.  Without wasting time,
Gabe took Ron's semi-hard cock down his throat, all the way to the root.
Ron moaned at the wet contact.  Gabel circled his cock, sucking it in so
deep.

"Yeah, buddy, suck that cock," Ron cried as the expert mouth pleasured him.
This guy was an accomplished cocksucker.  Ron blocked out all thought and
let the pleasure build.  He reached over and held on to Gabe's head.  The
contact threw him off.  Where were the short, bristly hairs at the nape?
He looked down at the head before him.  It was a strange sight.  Dark hair?
He wanted the dirty blond locks.  He closed his eyes again and tried to
shake off the images in his head.  His cock felt great but it wasn't
totally hard and he noted he was quickly loosing his erection.

"I need to get you out of my system," Ron whispered to himself as Evan's
magnificent naked form appeared in his mind.  Gabe kept up his practiced
assault on his cock.  It wasn't working, it wouldn't work, and Ron knew
that.  He pulled back from the mouth below him and opened his eyes.

"What's up, man?"  Gabe asked looking up expectantly.

"I'm sorry.  I can't do this," Ron said. "I'm sorry.  This is so fucked
up."  He rubbed his eyes with both his hands.

"It's cool.  This was a bad idea," Gabe said standing up and wiping his
mouth with the back of his hand.  "This stuff happens.  Maybe another
time?"

"I don't think so," Ron said, embarrassment forcing him to avert his eyes.
Gabe lifted his hand in a defeated gesture and headed out the room.  Ron
had to admit one thing: Evan had ruined him.  Gabe had been a mistake, a
case of remarkably poor judgment.  Ron had never been type to engage in
casual sex.  But loving Evan made him a desperate man.  He stared at the
door and made his final decision.  He needed to get Evan out of his system
and the only person who could facilitate that outcome was Evan.  He grabbed
his car keys and headed out.

	Less than twenty minutes later, he was at Evan's door.  He didn't
care if it was already past midnight, or if Evan had work the next day.  He
rang the door bell and waited.  This had to be done.  When no answer came,
he knocked on the door.  Gently at first and then he pounded on it with his
fist.  Evan's room was on the other side of the apartment, it would
probably take a while to wake him.  He pounded again and waited.  He saw
the hallway light go on and then after a few moments, the knob turned and
the door opened.

	What had happened to Evan?  He looked so haggard and his usually
chiseled, hunky face looked gaunt.  Those hazel eyes had lost their
sparkle.  Ron wondered if Evan had eaten a proper meal in the past
month. His vibrant skin looked a little lackluster.  He must have been
working too hard at the office.  Even then, Ron had to admit, he had never
seen anyone so perfectly put together.

"You look like shit," Evan said after his eyes had traveled up and down
Ron's form.

"So do you," Ron answered in a voice that sounded grave even to his own
ears.

	Evan stood to the side and Ron walked in.  Evan closed the door and
they stood facing each other silently.  Ron acknowledged to himself that
his feelings for Evan still ran deep.  Loving Evan hurt so much and he was
going to do whatever it took to forget those dreams he had for their
future.  It was the only way out.

"Are you here to talk about us?"  Evan asked hopefully.

"We've talked ourselves out already," Ron said.

"Why are you here?"  Evan asked his eyebrow going up.  Where were the
sparkling eyes?

"For this," Ron said and then he took a step forward, placed his hands on
either side of Evan's face and after a deep look into Evan's eyes, he
planted his lips on Evan's slightly parted lips.  Immediately, they both
shuddered and groaned loudly as their tongues attacked each other.  The
passion was fucking incredible.

	They ended up in Evan's bed.  The clothes had been tossed aside
within the first few seconds.  There was hardly time for foreplay, both
their cocks demanding the ultimate sensation immediately.  As soon as they
hit the bed, Ron reached for the bedside drawer and grabbed the lube.  Just
the simple thought of being inside Evan's sweet crevice made his whole body
tremble.  It had been way too long and their bodies knew it.  Their legs
rubbed aggressively and their chests pressing tight.  Evan's writhing body
was so intoxicating and Ron felt his cock throb and leak continuously.  He
uncapped the lube and did a quick job and applying it to Evan's pulsating
whole.  Evan moaned and lifted his bend knees further apart.  Their mouths
joined in an erotic, aggressive kiss.  Their wet tongues were licking each
other with the same rhythm their precum-laden cocks rubbed together.

"Now!"  Evan demanded with a shout, his teeth clenched.  They were both
panting hard through very wet, swollen, aroused lips.  Without a moment's
delay, Ron lifted his torso on his strong forearms and directed his very
erect cock to Evan's gaping hole.  When the contact was made, they both
yelled out their hunger.

"Aaarrrggghh..."

	Then Ron penetrated Evan in one hard thrust and they started
fucking in earnest; the separation of the last weeks adding desperation to
their movements.  They couldn't get close enough and they pressed painfully
hard against each other.  The hard contact was arousing and they both knew
it couldn't last much longer.  Ron lifted his head and looked into Evan's
eyes.  They were sparkling! Evan's hands which were placed firmly on Ron's
ass cheeks were pulling those fleshy globes apart with such aggression that
Ron's hole was exposed.  It was hot.  They were heaving into each other,
sweat running down their torsos.  They fucked and fucked, thrusting to
forget those lonely nights and haunting moments.

"You're going to make me cum, baby!"  Evan cried still guiding Ron's
thrusting ass.

"Fuck, fuck..baby...aahhh" Ron cried, his hard, unrestrained strokes
shortening.  Evan pushed his body closer, moving upward and spreading his
legs wider.  Ron moaned and Evan yelled incomprehensibly.  Ron felt a huge
release building up and a lusty dizziness circled his head.

"Make me, make me...cum...fuck, fuck, baby, baby.....aaaaaarrrrrhhhhh!"
Evan roared at the top of his voice and then his cock started spewing.
When his ass muscles started contracting violently, Ron's cock swelled and
spewed hard.

"Ffffuuuuuccckkkk!"  Ron's crazed voice joined Evan and they lost
themselves in the moment.  They collapsed into each other, the large,
creamy cum from Evan's cock smearing between them.  They made to effort to
clean up.

	The desperate night went on.  They woke up twice and repeated the
mind-blowing pleasures.  The second time, Evan put all his strength into
burying himself over and over again inside Ron's wet hole.  Ron had enjoyed
being fucked by Evan and he had cum powerfully as he rocked back and forth
on his knees and hands as Evan's cock ripped through him from behind.  The
third time, they had gobbled each other's cocks greedily.  They had rolled
around in a maddeningly sweet 69, changing positions.  One minute Ron was
on top and in the next he was on the bottom, never relinquishing his hold
on the cock in his mouth.  Their bodies had produced a third load of cum
and that had drained them completely.

	Ron knew he had made the right decision.  Maybe now, when he left
the city in the morning, Evan would be out of his system and he could start
a new life in peace.