Date: Mon, 12 May 2014 14:02:31 -0600
From: J Daly Matthews <shakes003@hotmail.com>
Subject: The Taking of Jakob (Revisited) Part 4

This story is a work of fiction. Any comments or suggestions can be sent to
shakes003@hotmail.com. Take care & be well.

This work is copyrighted by the author and may not be reproduced in any
form without the specific written permission of the author. It is assigned
to the Nifty Archives under the terms of their submission agreement but it
may not be copied or archived on any other site without the written
permission of the author.

DISCLAIMER: This is a work of fiction, and any resemblance to those living
or dead is not intentional, and is completely coincidental.


XxXxXxXxXxX


	"Huh?"

       	I was in a panic. My stomach was in my throat, and my heart was
pounding. It was the most intelligent thing I could force out of my big fat
mouth. Inside, I was screaming at myself. I was sure that I was going to
fuck everything up with Jakob. I was an idiot.

	"Wha...what do you mean by that?"

      	Jakob sounded as if he'd like to bolt for the door--not just the
door of my bedroom, but the door of my house. He rolled away from me onto
his back. I pulled my arm out from underneath him. I could picture him
running out into the streets in his pajamas screaming "Get the fuck away
from me you faggot!"  Jakob's voice brought me back to the present.

	"Bryan? What do you mean?"

       	My mind was swimming. What was I going to say to him now? Should I
bare my soul to him and take the chance of forever messing up our
friendship, or should I diffuse the situation by changing the subject? I
didn't know what to do. He was staring at me intently, waiting for an
answer. His mouth was open slightly.

	"I...I..." I shook my head, unable to answer.

      	I let out an exacerbated sigh and the arm that was once under him,
now fell gently backwards onto his chest. Jakob creased his eyebrows and
looked at me confused and I couldn't feel like a bigger loser. I told him
that I loved him. I was too scared at the time to realize that could mean
different things and he could have taken that many different ways. My eyes
connected with his and all thought and rationalization seemed to fly out
the window.

	The back of my hand gently moved up his chest to his face where it
turned so it could rest at his chin. I waited for Jakob to pull away but he
never did. I leaned up on my elbow and inched my face closer to his. Slowly
I leaned in and let my lips touch his gently. Although Jakob didn't push me
away, or back away, his lips didn't move against mine. I slowly backed away
and watched him.  His eyes were glued to mine, but he wasn't moving. I
couldn't even tell if he was breathing.

	Suddenly he took a noticeable breath and he smiled. I was a little
apprehensive but then not only did he smile, he broke out into a fit of
laughter. After four months of watching him deal with his pain in a solemn
depression, his quiet laughing, even at my expense, was the most angelic
sound I'd heard in what seemed like forever. I couldn't stop the biggest
smile from conquering my face.

	"You're a freak." Jakob giggled and playfully punched me on the
shoulder while he was trying to control his laughter. I was so happy to see
him in such high, playful spirits, that I joined his laughter. The moment
was like a gift.

      	"I can't remember the last time I heard that sound." I stated
quietly once I had caught my breath. Jakob looked at me curiously.

      	"What sound?"

      	"Your laugh. Your smile. I've missed it. I thought you'd lost it
for good."

      	Jakob didn't speak. He shook his head and opened his mouth, but
nothing came out. His face portrayed something I couldn't put my finger
on. It was a face I had never seen before. There was something going on
inside of him that I couldn't register in his eyes.

	"You're all I got, Bry." Jakob's face was red, and his head was
down, hiding the unknown expression in his baby blues.

      	The words were a mixture of pleasure and pain. Jakob really didn't
have anybody else, and I struggled to fathom the reason. His parents were
gone, and the only family he had left was an older brother that had fallen
off the radar years ago. Jakob was the kindest person I knew. It was hard
for me to understand why people wouldn't give up everything for him. I
would, and wanted to spend the rest of my life doing so.

	The moment was still. We stayed like that for awhile, and I
unconsciously brought my hand up to his chest, and absently started rubbing
him there. I'm not sure what made me do it, but I could feel his defined
pectoral muscles through his thin T-shirt. After a few moments, I was
rubbing a hard node that was his nipple. I wasn't even thinking and like
the kiss just moments before, it wasn't premeditated. It just happened.

	Jakob brought his chin up from his chest, and looked at me
intently. He didn't say a word, but slowly closed his eyes and bit his
bottom lip. I stared at the gorgeous features of his face and continued to
rub his hard nipple. Jakob started breathing harder, and my cock was
beginning to stir again. Jakob made a slight moan, and opened his eyes to
look at me. His eyes were bright and sparkled as he brought one of his
hands up to caress the hand of mine that was working diligently on that
hard node.

      	The look on his face was enough to make me cum, but I fought to
stay in check. Jakob softly moaned again, and with his other hand, he
started countering my actions onto me. His hand slowly found its way to my
chest. His soft fingers trailed through my chest hair and were soon rubbing
and kneading my nipple. I benefited from having no shirt on to get in the
way. I wasn't sure what was happening. I only knew that I didn't want it to
stop.

	I honestly don't know how long we were there gently rubbing and
caressing each other's chests, but I was amazed that the moment even
happened. Jakob looked so completely sexy, and I wanted to kiss him again,
but at the same time I was scared I would ruin the moment and scare him
off. Jakob's gaze slowly drifted down my chest, to the obvious bulge that
was pushing against the bed covers, and I heard him swallow hard. I was
frightened, but I didn't remove my hand from his chest. Jakob looked back
at me and cleared his throat.

	"I'm tired."

      	His voice was hoarse and his breath was almost coming out in short
gasps. I couldn't speak.  My heart was pounding, and I was willing myself
to stay put on the bed, and not throw him down beside me; ripping off that
flimsy T-shirt and covering his beautiful, hairless chest with kisses.
Kissing my way down to his stomach to his belly button, following the thin
happy-trail that crept into his briefs.

	I nodded slowly, and felt my cock oozing. I felt like I was about 5
seconds away from cuming in front of Jakob for Jakob, and worried that
there wasn't anything I could do to stop it. We stared into each other's
eyes for maybe a minute more, and Jakob abruptly broke the moment by
turning over so that his back was to me.

	"Night, Bryan." His voice trembled.

       	I didn't know how to feel. I was confused, and I was hornier than I
had ever been in my life. I needed to be inside of him. I needed it like I
needed air, but Jakob broke the moment and turned away from me. Part of me
felt rejected, and mislead. Part of me couldn't blame him. Part of me
couldn't believe all of this had happened. The moment was all so intense.

	"Night, kiddo."

       	I barely choked the words out. I was awake the rest of the night
trying to decipher what had just occurred. I lay awake; my cock still
swollen, listening to Jakob's gentle breathing.

XXXXXX



      	"Hey, what's with you lately anyway?" I looked up from my lathe to
find Mark leaning up against my toolbox, drinking a can of Coke.

	It was fair to say that I liked Mark, in fact he was one of the few
guys that I considered an actual friend that I worked with. He had dated my
sister, Jordan after they met at a party. Like all the guys my sister had
the hots for, Jordan brought him home for dinner and to meet the family.
She knew how to pick them; he was cocky, young, smart, and above average in
the looks department too. Unfortunately he was someone that spent more time
looking in the mirror than breathing, and it didn't work out between him
and my sister. He remained a buddy of mine despite the breakup, and when he
came to me looking for work, I was happy to open a few doors.

	I got Mark the job at the machine shop after his dad kicked him out
of the house because he thought Mark couldn't get his shit together long
enough to know what in the hell he was going to do with the rest of his
life. He reminded me of me at that age, but lacking more in the motivation
department. He was a party animal, maybe even a bit more than I was at his
age. He knew where the hot spots were, and who was going to be there, and
when it was all going to take place. Yeah, I liked Mark a lot, even though
he was obnoxious as hell at times.

      	"Don't you have work to do or something?" I mumbled and tried to
avoid him by turning back to the job I had running in my machine.

      	I knew the guys in the shop were wondering about me lately, I'd
been somewhat of a recluse so that I could be at home with Jakob. All the
guys at the shop would usually meet up at a local pub or strip club to
drink and be "guys". I wondered when they'd send Mark over my way to find
out what was wrong. It wasn't something I was eager to share with these
blue-collared rednecks. They wouldn't understand about Jakob and would've
gladly shown me the door with my skull if they'd known that I was totally
in love with him. My love for him was a lot more than what they would've
interpreted. Yeah, I was a homo. I knew it now and was trying to be more
comfortable with the fact, but they would've freaked-afraid that I was
checking them out, or wanted down their pants but it was ridiculous. Jakob
was the only guy I ever wanted to check out; his pants were the only pants
that I wanted to get into. He would always be the only one.

	"What's wrong, Bryan? You've been actin' like an asshole for months
now. You never come out with the guys anymore. What gives?" I could tell
that Mark wasn't going to give up easy.

	"Nothin', man. Just got commitments, y'know? Family."

      	I was staring at the piece that was in the lathe. It was spinning
and spinning, like my mind had been the night before as Jakob and I were
letting our hands drift over each other's chests. I kissed him. It wasn't a
horny game of tonsil hockey but I kissed him. Mark's chuckling broke me out
of my daze.

	"Everything okay?"

      	"Yeah, I just..." I didn't even know what excuse to
use. "Responsibilities."

      	"Excuse me. I keep forgetting you're an old man." He laughed and
swallowed the last of his Coke.

	"Fuck you," was all I replied to him, and tried to act annoyed.

	Mark slapped me on the back. "You need to get out, buddy. You're
coming with us to the club tonight, whether you like it or not. Don't try
to gimme any shit about it either. You're in."

	"I can..." I started, but Mark cut me off.

	"Quit trying to brush me off. You're coming."

       	He poked his finger into my chest like he meant business, and
turned away to get back to his job. I didn't even try to argue with him. It
was pointless. I sighed heavily and returned to my lathe, trying to think
of a way to get out of going out with the work crew. I even debated running
my hand through the machinery to get out of it via injury, but it probably
would've been messy and painful.

	I got home close to 5 o'clock, took off my work boots and hung up
my coat in the landing.  As I walked upstairs, I spotted Jakob sitting at
the kitchen table, reading the mail. We didn't talk the entire morning
before I left for work. Maybe there was nothing to say, but I wanted to say
something. I was scared I'd pushed him too far, and felt a little rejected
when he turned away from me.

	"Hey." I said in the most casual tone I could muster.

	"Mmmm..." Jakob mumbled without looking up at me, as he seemed deep
into whatever he was reading. I headed straight for the fridge, and grabbed
a beer.

	"You want?" I asked Jakob while I was getting one for myself.

	"Yeah, sure." He replied as he looked up from the mail.

      	I tossed a can to him, and he smoothly caught it with one hand. I
watched as he cracked the top, and took a long swallow off of the can. I
suddenly became aware that I was staring way too long at him and turned to
the fridge to grab another beer for myself before sitting down at the table
with him.

	"What'd you do all day?" I asked him before opening the can of beer
and taking a few sips.

	"Not much, really. Brought home some of those cookies you liked
from work." Jakob shrugged, folded up the piece of paper he was reading,
and shoved it into an envelope.

	"Cool, thanks! What was that?" I motioned to the envelope he
slipped onto the table.

	"Eh, gas bill. Went up again. I dunno what we're doing wrong. Goes
up every month."

	"Shit!" I rubbed my forehead in frustration.

	The windows in my place needed to be replaced and upgraded. I meant
to before the winter hit, but then Jakob got hurt and everything else in my
life took a backseat to him and making sure he was going to make it through
okay. Nothing else in my life seemed to mean anything. Just him.

	"What's wrong?" Jakob sensed my frustration.

	"Nothing. I meant to put in some new windows but never got around
to it. We'll do it this spring."

	"Yeah, for sure." Jakob always liked kicking around the garage
doing work around the house. "How was work today?"

	"Mmmm..." I shrugged back at him. "Same shit, different
pile. Supposed to meet the guys for a drink. I'd rather drink antifreeze."

      	Jakob laughed and almost spit out his beer. "Jeeze, they're not all
bad are they? What about your friend?"

      	I shrugged. "I dunno. Just not in the mood, I guess. You wanna
come?"

      	I knew he'd say no, but I didn't really want to go out at all. I
would have been much happier sitting downstairs in front of the big screen,
with Jakob sitting next to me, however I felt cornered. I didn't need a
bunch of attention from a bunch of rednecks.

	"You goin' to see the peelers?" Jakob took another chug of his
beer.

       	I choked out a laugh. Jakob always called the strippers "peelers",
and I always thought it was funny. I had never heard the expression before
I met him. I wondered if it was one of his Irish things.

	"Knowing them, probably."

      	I didn't expect Jakob to accept the offer. He never felt
comfortable in bars let alone the strip clubs. Like I said before, Jakob
was incredibly innocent when it came to sex. I took him there once after
his eighteenth birthday and between the naked dancers and the waitresses
making passes at him, he looked like he was going to have panic attack.

	"Yeah, sure." Jakob shrugged.

	"Really? Are you serious?" I asked in disbelief. I honestly didn't
expect that answer from him at all.

	"What?" He looked at me incredulously. He seemed offended.

	"Nothing, I'm just surprised, is all." I quickly diffused the
situation, and took a few more drinks off of my beer.

      	We sat at the table in an awkward silence and it felt like I was
being given the cold shoulder. Nothing else was said while we were
finishing our drinks. I looked at the clock. It was almost six.

	"Well, I'm goin' to get ready." I said as I got up from the table
and headed towards my bedroom.

       Jakob remained silent and still in his chair. He didn't even look up
while I excused myself.  I started feeling a little irritated.

	I partly closed the door to the room behind me, and started tugging
on my clothes-- shrugging them off of my body. As I stood naked, I was deep
in thought, trying to figure Jakob out.  We were so close last night, and
now he was barely speaking to me. Maybe I did need to get out with the guys
more often. I had been consumed with Jakob since the rape. I started
wondering if it was clouding my judgement as I looked in my closet to check
out my wardrobe options. I stood half-dazed, wondering what I was going to
wear to the club when I felt a hand gently touch me on my naked hip. I
about jumped out of my skin; it startled me that bad. It was Jakob.

	"Jesus Christ! Are you trying to give me a fuckin' heart attack?"

       	I wheeled around and my natural reaction was to start yelling. I
was too startled by the random nature of his visit, to logically sit down
and consider it.

	"What is it?" I asked as I tried to catch my breath. I was
oblivious to the fact that I was completely naked in front of him; quickly
forgetting how good his hand felt caressing my naked skin.

	"I...I..." Jakob looked as if he was going to start bawling. "I..."

	"What?" I was trying to steady my nerves from having the life
scared out of me.

	"Jakob," I sighed and brought a hand to his shoulder. "I'm
sorry. You really scared me.  What do you need?"

      	Jakob swallowed hard, and let his gaze drift down my body and
settled on my cock. I felt it twitch from the attention and recognition
that Jakob was now staring at it. I wanted to say something when his eyes
shifted nervously up to my face, and then around the room.

      	"I...I was gonna borrow something to...to wear." Jakob was
stuttering.

      	"Jakob, you swim in my clothes." I pointed out the obvious. He was
quite a bit shorter, and less built than me.

      	"I...I thought it'd be okay." His eyes were nervously scanning the
room.

      	I looked at his face long and hard before answering. He looked up
at me and I couldn't read him. I didn't know what was going on inside his
head. We were close the night before, and then he pulled away. Now he wants
to go out with me to a place I know he hates. Now he's in my room, his hand
on my skin not moments ago. It was clear I had no idea what was going on.

      	"Yeah, go ahead if you want. Whatever blows your hair back." I left
him alone in the room and headed for the bathroom.

      	When my shower was finished and I stepped out of the tub, I started
to feel like an ass for reacting to Jakob like I had. After everything he'd
been through, he deserved me to be patient with him. I pictured the look on
his face when I yelled at him, and my stomach tied itself in knots. I
quickly dried myself off and headed back to my bedroom to change.

      	I wasn't much of a fancy dresser. I always went straight for
comfort when it came to clothes.  After going through the hangers in my
closet, I settled with a pair of khakis and a white dress shirt.  I turned
to my full-length mirror after I had slipped into my attire, and fussed a
little with my hair.  After a few minutes, and a little dab of hair goop, I
was as satisfied with what I saw, as I ever would be and I headed out to
the kitchen to wait for Jakob.

      	I walked into the kitchen, and Jakob was sitting at the table
waiting for me. He was wearing his own clothes. Again, I was
puzzled. 'What's goin' on, here?' I wondered in the back of my head. I
flashed him a confused look.

      	"I didn't wanna piss you off anymore, so I tried to find something
of my own to wear."  Jakob absentmindedly played with the shirt he was
wearing.

      	"Jakey, I'm sorry, kid. You scared the shit outta me when you snuck
up on me like that. I'm sorry I yelled like that. I ain't mad. I just...I
dunno. I'm sorry." I felt like a jerk.

      	Jakob softly grinned, and nodded. He never held a grudge. My list
of reasons for loving him was growing longer by the minute.

      	"Okay?" I asked to be sure. Jakob grinned and nodded in reply, and
I patted him on the back.

      	"Okay then. Let's go."



      	It was around eight when we pulled into the parking lot of
"Standard". The club was busy when we got there. We stood in line for
probably 20 minutes before they let us in. I spotted Mark and a few more
guys from the shop, and pointed them out to Jakob before heading towards
their table. Jakob seemed uneasy and was casting nervous looks around the
place while he followed me.  As usual, eyes followed him wherever he went.

      	"Hey, the asshole made it!" Mark half cheered and stood up to shake
my hand as we got past the crowd, to the table.

      	"Yeah, yeah." I waved him off and he laughed.

      	The other guys raised their pints of beer, to welcome me, but were
concentrating more on the blonde with long legs and a red g-string that was
dancing on the stage.

      	"Guys, this is my buddy, Jakob." I introduced a visibly
uncomfortable Jakob to the group, and they all seemed to stare for a while
before eventually raising their beers as acknowledgement.  Jakob fidgeted
around nervously, and spoke into my ear, so that I could hear him above the
crowd.

      	"I gotta go to the bathroom. I'll be right back." He looked at me,
and I nodded while I grabbed a seat and joined the guys in gawking at the
girl dancing across the stage.

      	The night passed, and I felt the old me returning more and more
with every drink that was set down in front of me. Mark and I were so busy
bullshitting about the women that were performing for us; I had completely
lost track of time, and lost track of Jakob as well. During the drinks and
the fun, Mark had somehow gotten one of the girls to come to our table. For
some reason she thought that it was my birthday, and was sitting on my lap,
grinding her ass into my crotch. I was too drunk and too horny to protest.

      	"So, birthday boy. Are you coming home with me, or what?" She had
been at our table for what felt like hours. I couldn't even answer her
without slurring. I tried to remember how many drinks I had consumed while
she was sticking her tongue in my ear. I could hear the guys laughing and
cheering.

      	"Atta boy, Bryan!"

       	The guys at the table were cheering me on and I was just sitting
there. She smiled at me, and her baby blue eyes sparkled like something so
familiar. I gave into the pressure of the men at the table, and grabbed the
girl's face to force it down so that I could kiss her. The guys went wild,
yelling and cheering while the dancer and I were sucking on each other's
tongues.

      	"I told you, Jackson." I could hear Mark yelling. "I told you he
wasn't a faggot. You're such a dipshit, y'know that?"

      	"Yeah, yeah, yeah..." Jackson responded, and I broke the lip-lock
with Bambi, or whatever the hell her name was, and stared at my comrades in
drunken disbelief. They think I'm a fag. But then the reality of it nagged
at me. No, they know I'm a fag.

      	"You guys talkin' bout me?"

      	I was scared and yet I was pissed off. I thought I was pissed off
at them. Pissed off that they had nothing better to do with their lives
than to worry about who I was taking to my bed every night. Pissed off at
their stupidity, acting as if it made a real difference who I fucked. It
didn't change who I was inside. Mostly I was pissed off at me. I would
never have the balls to be myself. I could never let them know who I truly
was. I felt like a fraud.

      	"It's nothin' Bry. I knew they were full of shit when they told
me."

      	I watched as they laughed and chided at my expense and decided that
I was going to prove them wrong. I wasn't'gay. I was no faggot. With the
alcohol having the upper hand on my thoughts, the girl and I continued to
swap spit, and soon her hand was starting to roam. The guys at the table
seemed to get louder and louder. When her hand reached the fly of my pants
and opened it, and she shoved her hand down the front of my underwear to
play with my dick in front of everyone in the bar, the guys sounded as
though the building were on fire. They were hysterical.

      	"Oh, my God!" I could hear one of them yelling. "They're gonna fuck
right here!"

      	It made me more determined. I was going to show everyone that I was
as straight as they came. Her hand worked my cock as we continued playing
tonsil hockey with each other. I didn't notice the form that was standing
over my side. I barely felt the touch on my shoulder until I heard the guys
start groaning in disgust. I broke my lip-lock with the blonde to see who
was touching me.  It was Jakob.

      	"What are you doing?" Jakob's eyes were red and looked almost
swollen.

      	"Fuck off, kid. Bryan's busy." Someone yelled, and the group broke
out into laughter.

      	I wanted to bash their faces in, but I was too drunk and I had a
point to prove. Jakob looked crushed, and it almost sobered me, but I
turned away.

      	"Bryan, let's go. Please!" Jakob begged, and the guys stopped
laughing and stared at me in disgust.

       	I looked at all of them, and then I looked at Jakob. His eyes were
sad. If I had been sober, I could have come up with a better way to handle
the situation. If I were sober, I wouldn't have gotten into the mess at
all. As I sat there in the chair, with a blonde sucking on my neck and
playing with my dick, and 7 or so guys sitting there watching and who were
bantering to each other behind my back that I was a "fag", I felt like I
was suffocating. I cracked.

      	"What am I, your mother? Go home and play with yourself. I'm busy."

      	My words were slurred by the alcohol, but that didn't lessen the
blow. Jakob took a step back and drew in a deep breath as the guys around
the table were laughing at him. He grabbed my car keys that I had set on
the table, and took off. I was completely oblivious to what happened not
even thirty seconds later. I barely remembered my name.

      	When I woke up and found myself in an unfamiliar bed, I racked my
brain trying to remember what happened the night before. I turned my head
and saw a blonde passed out beside me. I had no idea who she was, but she
wasn't Jakob.

      	Jakob.

      	My body went cold as I vaguely pictured him taking off in a rage.

	'What the fuck happened?' My mind could pick up bits and pieces of
the night, but they were fragmented. The pieces didn't fit together.

      	I painfully sat up and eased my way out of the strange woman's bed,
found my clothes, and headed out of the bedroom in search of a toilet. I
had to puke. Partly from the booze I had consumed hours before, but mostly
out of shame. My body was cold. I knew that I had done something
unforgivable. I could feel it.

      	I wandered into the kitchen, and searched for a sign as to where I
was. When I found the address on some mail that was stuck on the
refrigerator door, I quickly called a cab, and went outside in the cold to
wait for it. The winter air blew across my face as I felt hot tears making
their descent. I spoke to myself in shame.

      	"What have you done, Bryan? What have you done?"