Date: Fri, 20 Feb 2004 14:09:00 -0800 (PST)
From: Evan Bradely <evanbradley33@yahoo.com>
Subject: Chapter 16 of "The Crew"

The following fictional story deals with sex among males.  If you are offended
by such material, are too young, or reside in a location where it is not
allowed, please depart. Though not observed in this story, care enough about
yourself and humankind to practice safe sex.

The author retains all rights.
EvanBradley33@Yahoo.com

This chapter is dedicated to three really great guys, Johnny, Joe and Tom.
They were buddy/friend/lovers since college.  Their relationship was graced
with style, class, good humor, genuine love.  They were a model.  Because of
injuries so severe after a semi broadsided their car (and then ran away), first
Joe and then Tom had to leave Johnny.  Ever loyal and faithful, he was with
each one as he slipped away.  So the good dynamics represented in the
relationships in this series are dedicated to them.  The "down" side owes to
author.  Johnny, your other buddies can't replace Joe and Tom, but we love you
too.  You aren't alone.

Chapter 16
The Explosion

Drew's taking the plunge and buying a membership in Murphy's Gym had resulted
so quickly in his connection with Hal and the crew that he'd had little time
to reflect on the subsequent swirl of events.  Even more, the bumps in his
relationship with Hal had kept his mind in a stew.  It wasn't just the
rapid, uneven developments with Hal.  It was also the close relationships with
crew members and the special dynamics in his relationship with each friend that
left him feeling more blessed than he'd ever felt in his entire life.  More
often than not, life in the crew seemed a roller coaster ride.

Angie, Rich, and Drew were connected by some deep link that held them in sync.
They often knew what the other two were thinking without that thought's being
enunciated, a phenomenon that generated jokes and chuckles among them.  Drew
admired Max and Ted.  They were strong leaders, and he enjoyed harboring in
their bigness and strength.  They sensed Drew's need for those gifts from them,
so it pleased them no end to honor tat need.  When Max and Drew were talking,
Max stood close up to Drew.  If the distance was too great, Drew would move
closer, evoking a quiet smile from Max, who would then clap his hand on Drew's
shoulder or throw an arm around his waist or - if the occasion were right - gave
Drew's ass a squeeze.  Sometimes Drew would mock punch Max in the gut if he
were teasing him just to have a chance to touch the big guy.  Ted would face
Drew, placing his hands on Drew's shoulders while gently kneading the muscles
there or in his neck.  It gave them great satisfaction that Drew derived
energy from physical closeness to them.

Drew was still slightly reserved but friendly around Bobby, Levi, Kenji, and
Wes.  He didn't know how much they "read" into his relationship with their
lovers.  Accordingly, he was solicitous of their feelings and thoughts and
sensitive to the effect of his need for Ted or Max, Angie or Rich.  He teased
Tonio and Jamal, and received an equal measure in return, especially from Jamal.
The three knew the teasing was their method of expressing considerable
affection and approval.

It was Hal, of course, in whom Drew was centered, Hal, who filled his mind with
hope and his heart with love.  In all his life, no man had evoked so much love
from him or returned so much.  He was in awe of the difficulties Hal had faced
in his life and his triumph over them.  Just meeting Hal had prompted a new life
stage.  Even though a hyper-cautious person, Drew couldn't rein in his mind from
creating scenarios for Hal's and his future.  They would join the other couples
in the crew.  They would never again know boredom, emptiness, or the "killer" -
loneliness.  So powerful was his love for Hal that a mere glance from Hal could
arouse Drew.

The fly in the ointment was Brett Carter.  Drew couldn't forget the hostile look
on Brett's face when the latter realized that Hal and he were a couple.  Every
meeting featured some slight or other behavior expressing Brett's antipathy to
Drew.  Drew tried to keep his reactions balanced and fair.  It was a struggle.

                      The Haynes' Construction Site

One day when Hal was meeting with a potential client, most of the crew had
gathered at the Haynes site to collect their paychecks.  They were sitting in
the shade eating lunch.  The topic of Hal's approaching birthday came up, with
Levi suggesting that they all pool their funds to give Hal a great gift.  Brett,
whose eyes narrowed as he leaned forward, listening to the exchange, jumped in
and posed the idea of a surprise birthday party at Hal's home as the setting for
bestowing the gift on Hal and letting him know how important he was to the crew.

"How are you going to manage a surprise party?" Tonio asked Brett.

"Don't worry.  I'll work out the details if you take care of the gift, Levi."

"Okay," Levi agreed.  "But how do you know Hal hasn't already made plans with
Drew to celebrate his birthday?"

Brett didn't reply immediately.  "We should surprise him the night before his
birthday.  Then we won't ruin any plans they've made."  Everyone murmured
agreement, pleased that Brett finally seemed to acknowledge that Hal and Drew
were a couple.

"You all can meet at Ted and Levi's home.  Ted, you can let all you guys in
Hal's house and then hide in Hal's bedroom.  I'll get you a key.  You all can
park on the other side of the block where Hal won't see your cars.

"Where are you going to be?" Max asked.

"First, I'll be with the caterer.  She'll come in right after you guys surprise
Hal.  He's already promised that I could treat him to dinner some night for his
birthday.  Soon after you guys hide, we'll show up.  You can jump out of Hal's
bedroom and surprise him."

"How are you going to get a key?" Bobby asked.

"Trust me" was Brett's reply.

"Who's paying for the catering?" Ted asked.

"I am.  My mom has a friend who loves to cater little parties.  I'll ask Regina
to pitch in.  It won't cost that much.  Mostly just for a birthday cake and
drinks.  We aren't actually that large a group.  But all Hal needs to know is
that it's from all of us."

"Why should you pay for all of it?" Ted continued.

"Because Regina's my friend, it's my money, and I want to," Brett responded,
smiling.  "It's about time I did something nice for all of you.  I'm the new
guy.  And it'll make it special for Hal."

"What about Drew and Rich?" Jamal asked.  "You want me to tell them to meet
us at Ted's."

Brett's mouth compressed into a tight line at the repeated mention of Drew's
name.  "If you think it's necessary to include them," Brett answered curtly,
causing the others to trade glances.  Maybe they'd given Brett credit too soon
for accepting Hal and Drew.

"Not invite Drew?" Max asked with some attitude.  "Hal wouldn't think it was
much of a birthday if either Drew or Rich were absent.  They've been his friends
since before you arrived, Brett.  And Drew and Hal are a couple."

"Whatever," Brett replied, looking levelly at Max.  They didn't miss the hint of
menace in Brett's body language and voice.

The group returned to their afternoon's work, but the rest of the day had an
edge about it.  As Levi dutifully collected the money for the gift, he asked
each member of the crew what he thought Hal would like.  Nobody really had a
clue, so they decided to give him a gift certificate towards the hot tub that
Hal intended to locate just off his deck.

On the target date, Brett took Hal off to dinner an hour and a half before the
end of the workday.  The group gathered a half hour early at Ted and Levi's home
where they visited briefly, anticipating a real surprise for Hal.  At the proper
time, Ted and Levi had them in their cars and driving over to Hal's.  They all
parked back down the side street running along Hal's block, leaving the space
in the front of his house clear.

They alighted from their cars, joining Ted at the front door.  Having already
adopted their "surprise" mode, Ted shushed everyone as he opened the door and
the group entered noiselessly, taking care to push the door shut softly.
Following Ted, they moved across the living room into the hallway and over to
Hal's bedroom, opening the door and entering.  They all almost ran over Ted as
he pulled up short at the sight of Hal with his cock buried in Brett's ass, the
latter's shapely legs, their golden down glowing in the subdued light, laying
over Hal's shoulders.  Both men were locked in a kiss.  The members of the crew
couldn't believe their eyes.  Sensing the implications, they checked Drew out.
He was standing still, his eyes wide in shock, his mouth open for an unasked
question.

Shock and dismay didn't keep several of the crew from checking Brett out since
his average, slender cock lay back on his lower stomach.  He had beautiful,
broadly curved pecs and a flat muscled stomach.  Lean, corded muscles lay just
beneath the skin on his arms and legs.  The patch of hair just above his thin
cock was about the same tawny color as the hair on his head.

Max couldn't stand it, clearing his throat.  Brett and Hal broke the kiss, the
former smirking as he noted which crew members were assessing his endowments.
He winked at Bobby and Angie.  Hal turned toward them, halting his thrusting
into Brett, squinting to see who was there, his body tipping this way and that.
They realized that he was quite drunk, a sight they'd never seen, which only
added to their confusion and dismay.

"What the fuck!" Hal slurred out.  "What do you want?  What the hell are you
doing busting into my bedroom when I'm fucking my lover?"  Drew sucked in a
short breath at Hal's last pronouncement.

"We came to surprise you on your birthday," Jamal said.  "Didn't know you'd be
getting a little nookie . . . from your lover, you said?  What's Drew then?" he
asked in a manner just short of a challenge.

Hal looked around as though he hadn't seen Drew in the group.  When he spotted
him, he gulped.  Defensively, he glared at Drew:  "I might have known you'd be
checking out my new boyfriend.  Well get a good look.  He's Richie.  He's
beautiful.  He's hot.  I've waited for him for years.  He's what I've always
wanted.  You couldn't match him in 50 years."  Hal turned to Brett, planting a
hot kiss on his mouth.  After Hal turned back to look at the group, Brett was
grinning like a Cheshire cat.

Drew felt dwarfed by the circumstances, especially in the face of Hal's fiery
glare and Brett's constant smirk.  Drew expelled a deep, shuddering breath.
Concentrating on Hal and blocking everyone else out, he said quietly, "I have
never wanted anyone as wholly as I want you. I have never needed anyone as
completely as I need you.  I have never loved," here Drew's voice caught,
"anyone as entirely as I love you.  You are the center of my universe."

As Drew spoke, Brett moved up close to Hal, pressing his body into Hal's and
sliding his arm around Hal's waist, stroking his fingers across his ass and down
into his crack, reminding him to whom he'd just committed himself.  "See this
man lying under me?" Hal answered Drew.  "He brings more excitement, energy,
love, and magic into our bed than you ever could."

The look on Drew's face was the same the group would have seen if Hal had
struck him.  Drew didn't know if his body froze in place because of Hal's words
or his realization that he was being rejected as unworthy.  Hal was ending their
relationship.  No opportunity for hope existed.

Max growled out a warning:  "Hal!"

"Fuck off!" Hal shot back angrily. Max frowned.

Even in his inebriated state, Hal suddenly realized that the entire crew was
feeling the way Max did.  He'd chosen to ignore the way they held back when
Brett joined them.   He realized that they never joked as freely with Brett as
they did with each other.  He had to assert his stance.

He whirled around, pulling Brett into a hot embrace and kiss.  Drew's body
lurched as though he'd been struck.  Then he righted himself, standing stiffly,
his eyes blinking rapidly.  Members of the crew swapped glances, wanting to
protect Drew but uncertain how to do that, afraid that rushing to his side
would only call more attention to his plight.  Suddenly Drew's arms shot around
his chest as though protecting his heart.  Drew turned around and walked out of
the bedroom into the living room without ever looking at anyone else.  They
heard the door open and then close.  They all stood there looking at Hal and
Brett kissing.  They heard Drew's car start down the block.  To Max, it seemed
as though a book had been slammed shut.  The crew felt that that they had
witnessed something of ineffable value being destroyed. Angie had started
crying, turning her head into Bobby's shoulder.  He placed a protective arm
around her, taking one more look at the two hot bodies entwined on the bed,
swallowing hard, and then walking them out of the bedroom.

Hal and Brett broke their kiss, looking deeply into each other's eyes.  Brett
sported a big smile.  Then he caught each of them in a look that announced that
he was now ascendant.  He'd won - just the way he was always pushing Hal to win
in the competitions he created at the gym, card table, swimming pool, jogging
trail - everywhere.

Hal turned to them.  "Can't you leave us alone so that we can finish our fuck,
or do you need to watch that too?"

Levi snorted,  "I can find something better to look at!" he said, throwing their
gift envelope on the floor and whirling around and shooting out of the room.  As
drunk as Hal was, he found Levi's disdain unsettling.  Levi had never reacted
to him that way before.  Ted's look suggested that someone had just died.  He
followed Levi wordlessly out of the room.  Rich was pale, his hands shaking.
The scene reminded him too much of the recent debacle with Wes.  Tonio looked
hurt; Jamal's eyes blazed.  They followed hard upon the heels of Rich.  Brett's
smile deepened.

Once outside, the members returned to their respective cars.  The Coopers were
already driving away in their pickup.  Nobody said anything.  "Shell-shock"
would have been an understatement in characterizing their state of mind.

                            The Coopers' Home

Not a word had been spoken in the cab of the Coopers' pickup as they drove away.
Bobby glanced in the review mirror, noting the mass exodus from Hal's house.
"The other crew members are leaving," he reported to Angie.  She softly wept
and sniffled for a bit.  Once they had entered their duplex, Bobby snagged a
beer from the refrigerator, and Angie excused herself to prepare for bed.

For weeks, Bobby had quietly been in distress, yet he had been successful in
hiding it even from Angie.  When they had stayed in Hal's home upon first
arriving in town, Bobbie had been catapulted into his past, a painful part of
it.  It was his coming upon Drew kissing and clinging to Hal in the bedroom
hallway, with legs locked about the latter's waist, that acted as the trigger.
Then hours later, upon returning to their bedroom with a glass of milk for
Angie, he'd found the old excitement returning as he listened to Hal and Drew
moaning at the height of their love-making.

Now Bobby was seething.  Not just because of Hal's change of character or
because of what Bobby was now convinced was Brett's malicious heart or of
Angie's being upset.  It ran much deeper.  For as he watched Drew shade from
shock through disbelief to pain to resignation to crushing defeat, he remembered
all too well his experience with the very same feelings - a slide into doom, he
had thought at the time.  The difference was that his slide hadn't happened as
quickly as Drew's.  Still, it had been rough for him, and he'd had to go through
it all alone, so he had no trouble imagining how horrible Drew felt.

Looking cuddly in a cute flannel nightgown, carrying a glass of orange juice,
Angie joined Bobby in the living room.  She was still dabbing at tears in her
eyes with a handkerchief.  "Did you see that look Brett gave us?  He wanted
us - both of us.  We're going to have to watch him now. . . I still can't
believe Hal," Bobby spat out.  "Treating Drew like that. . . After all they've
been to each other.  It just evaporated overnight. . . And there's nothing you
can do if your self-esteem is under assault like that except stand and bear it."
Angie looked quickly at Bobby, noting the shift in his point of view as though
he were including himself along with Drew.

"In Art Appreciation, I once saw a painting of this guy, his chest pierced
with arrows.  I don't remember the painter - maybe Botticelli - but I remember
the guy - St. Sebastian.  He was martyred by those arrows piercing his body.  He
didn't die immediately.  In fact, he looked serene, like his chest wasn't
pierced by lethal arrows.  That's what grabbed my mind when I first saw that
painting.  It's the same way I saw Drew tonight.  Hal was the Roman archer
martyring Sebastian, his words sharp arrows.  And when Drew walked out of that
bedroom, he was dead, in a manner of speaking.  No serenity for him.  Just
dead. . . That's how he feels now.  Life is over.  Promise and hope are gone.
There's no future. . . And he'll make a grave for himself:  work and
home - that's it.  I bet we go for long stretches before we see him again. . . A
person thinks he's protecting himself, dropping out of sight like that.  It's
why we weren't able to reach Rich until just recently, why he was absent from us
so long after Wes left the bar with that young woman.  And after it happens, you
don't even know what you did wrong."

"Were you in love with him, Bobby?" Angie asked softly.

Bobby looked startled, swallowing hard.  "Drew?  Rich?  I'm not in love with
them," he answered indignantly.  "We're good friends.  I respect them.  Drew's
funny, fun to be around.  Rich is your friend and a former jock.  That's all.
What do you mean anyway?"

"I'm not talking about Drew or Rich.  I'm talking about your Hal."  Bobby's face
flushed with color.  "Don't worry, Bobby.  I knew not long after we became
acquainted that you were hiding a deep hurt.  At first I thought it was from a
woman in your life.  But when we first met Drew in Hal's house, I realized that
it was a man - or men?" she asked, raising the tone of her voice just a little
at the end of the question to indicate that it implied no threat.  Bobby
squirmed in his chair, obviously disturbed at the nature of Angie's question and
frantic to think of a way to deflect her question.

"It was subtle," Angie continued, "but I gradually realized after that evening
over dinner at Hal's that your reaction didn't have to do with disapproval of
Hal and Drew's relationship.  And your reaction ran deeper than just discovering
Hal's sexual orientation.  I perceived that as you opened up to them that
evening.  I hope you'll give me an answer, but I want to tell you first that I
won't love you any less for what you are about to tell me.  In fact, I may end
up loving you more.  Remember:  I'd already figured it out."  She smiled.
"You're lucky I'm in my mothering period."

Bobby grinned faintly.  "One of your best roles," he replied.

"Tell me, Bobby, so that I can fully understand the man I'll love forever."

His smile faded.  His head dropped, and his shoulders drooped as though in
defeat or perhaps relief.  He paused for a long time.  Angie could see that he
was collecting images and then words with which to clothe them.  "It was in
basic training.  Gerald was in my barracks, his bunk just below mine.  We became
the best of buddies, helping each other, keeping our spirits up, trying to make
the other feel good.  On long hikes, when we camped out, we shared a small tent.
We were so close and so horny that even on the very first night out we knew we
were going to help the other guy out."

Bobby paused, remembering.  "Gerald was handsome, so I envied him right away."

"Let me see what he looked like?" Angie asked softly to let Bobby know that she
was genuinely interested in his history.

Bobby paused, looking off into space, looking closely at the image his memory
held of Gerald, determining how to characterize his appearance.  "He was about
5' 10" and beefy.  He was one of those guys who looked really hot with a
military high-n-tight haircut.  Black hair, broad forehead, really dark
eyebrows, full lips.  He was muscular, but he wasn't muscle-bound.  Straight
nose of medium length.  He had these full, darker lips.  Nice square chin.
Well-endowed.  Okay butt.  Muscular legs. . . . Funny.  As I describe him, he
doesn't sound that special.  I guess there's no way I can describe his poise.
He was his own man:  everything about him radiated from inside.  He felt good
about himself.  He never expressed any envy or jealousy of anyone in all the
time I knew him.  He was quite happy being himself."  Angie noted that Bobby
had fallen into a smile as he remembered the first friend he'd made in the
military.  "He had the looks I'd always wanted."

Angie smiled.  "I don't think many humans have the looks they'd like.  They
always find those in someone else.  You're a handsome dude, Bobby Cooper.  MY
dude.  I wanted you the first moment I saw you."

Bobbie's eyes grew larger.  "Really?"  Angie shook her head in the affirmative.
"I thought maybe I was just a route away from your past, from Dennis Huxley's
controlling behavior, so you'd take anything to avoid him."

"Well, I'll have to start a campaign to help you see yourself as I saw you then,
won't I?" she asked, grinning mischievously.  "I'll start developing strategies
toward that end."  Bobby grinned back, relief lifting his spirits.

"Gerald and I kept up our relationship during basic - that's not easy when
there's little privacy." Bobby stopped and gulped again.  "Maybe I'm giving you
more details than you really want."

"I want you to tell me all of it, Bobby - if you're comfortable with that."

Nodding his head, Bobby continued, surprised at the relief he was feeling upon
finally sharing this hidden dimension of his past experience, especially sharing
it with Angie.  "At the end of basic, we spent our leave together in the city in
a cheap hotel room.  Didn't make any difference how cheap it was.  It was a
refuge.  I always thought Gerald felt the way I did.  He seemed to.  We were
horny for each other all the time, and the sex was hot.  Back at camp, when we
were assigned our special training, we both were in the same electronics school.
That's where he met Nate, also a hunk with killer looks."

Bobby paused a moment.  "Nate always reminded me of those magazine pictures of
young guys from the East coast who were about to set out for World War II in
Europe.  Had a darker look."  Bobby squinted, thinking.  "Olive-skinned look.
Maybe he had a little Middle Eastern influence in his gene pool.  Anyway, he
was taller than Gerald.  Dark hair, square forehead with an oval face below.
Okay shoulders.  He wasn't really muscular.  But he was built.  Dark eyes, but
they always seemed so guileless.  Nice nose, great lips, nice chin to round out
his oval face.  Always smiling.  The kind of guy women immediately go ape over."
A frown moved onto Bobby's mouth.  "I didn't need to be told. I saw them connect
immediately.  I remember feeling an immediate pang of fear run right into my gut.
Kept telling myself it was my imagination.  Gerald got us involved in some hot
three-ways.  I was jealous, but I swallowed it out of consideration for Gerald."

Bobby shifted in his chair.  "I noticed that Gerald and Nate were off together
more and more, leaving me out of their plans.  But the next time the three of us
were together, they subtly guided me into a subordinate role.  They even called
me 'babe.'  If things hadn't changed, I believe they would have been my masters.
I would have been their slave."  Angie's eyes had widened only a little upon
Bobby's last disclosure.

After a pause, during which Bobby was staring at the floor, "My brother Anson
was in an auto accident, and they thought he was dying, so the Red Cross helped
me get home.  Gerald and Nate saw me off, telling me to keep in touch.  They'd
be waiting for me when I got back.  When I finally did get back to camp, they
weren't anywhere to be found even though I'd written them when I was arriving.
I learned that they'd transferred out.  It took me a week to track down all the
details.  They had asked for the transfer about two weeks after they met - well
before Anson's accident.  Didn't tell me or include me at all."  Angie saw tears
glistening in his eyes.

"I swear, Ang, I can't think of what I did wrong.  I never hurt them or
interfered with them.  But I must have done something wrong because they
rejected me.  I felt like trash."

"Maybe their feelings were growing so strong for each other that their feelings
for you were getting in the way.  That's a compliment, by the way.  They didn't
want to hurt you, but they knew you would be hurt when you found out.  So they
took the coward's way out and ran.  You didn't do anything wrong.  They
did. . . Did you ever hear from them again?"

Bobby shook his head in the negative.  "Would you want to hear from them
again?" Angie gently probed.

"I've asked myself that.  I don't know . . . Sometimes I want to talk to them
so much.  Just to find out how they are.  What's happened to them. . . After
all, I cared about them.  I had been struggling over admitting to myself that I
was falling in love with Gerald. . . I'd like to know if maybe later they
regretted ditching me."  He stared off into space as Angie pondered all that
he'd related to her.  "Other times I feel as though I don't want to ever hear
their names again.  That's how I felt when we left Hal's this evening.  As
much as I owe him and have liked him, I didn't want to ever talk to him
again. . . Tonight he was too much like Gerald and Nate.  I realized that if I
had confronted Gerald and Nate about their relationship, it might have played
out as it did for Drew tonight.  Even now I can't stand how bad Drew is feeling
because I remember how I felt.  As I explained, the only difference is that my
learning about Gerald and Nate's plans was disclosed over a week because I had
to check things out with several people.  Drew was hit right between the eyes
all at once.  And Nate wasn't a snake like Brett.  Hal will be sorry someday
that he hooked up with that guy.  Brett has no soul."

Again, Angie noted how Bobby was including himself in Drew's predicament.
Letting Bobby's prediction about Brett slide for the moment, Andie asked,
"Where did they hail from?"

"Gerald was from Seattle.  Nate was from Virginia."

"Bobby, some circumstances suggest that they may not have remained together."
He looked at Angie expectantly.  "They came together so quickly that they could
have ended almost as quickly with each other on down the road after they
transferred.  Lying to you as they did introduced a note of unsavory behavior at
the beginning of their lives together.  If they felt any guilt at all over what
they did to you, that could have been enough eventually to kill the relationship
because, over the long term, the guilt would connect to each of them.  Humans
don't like guilt.  They would observe the guilt in each other.  Besides, when
they left you without a word, they set up a behavioral pattern that either of
them could replicate, alone or with another guy.  You know - if they do it once,
the next time it's easier.  Or they could have been reassigned to different
posts.  Maybe something bad happened in their families as happened with Anson in
your family, such that they couldn't get back together.  I think it's unlikely
that they are still together."  She could tell Bobby wasn't buying anything she
had said.  "I just don't want you believing you have missed out on what you
think they've had all these years."

Bobby shook his head in the negative.  "I'll never know why Gerald and Nate did
that to me.  Do you think we'll ever really know why Hal hurt Drew like that?"

"Some factors to consider:  Hal was really drunk.  I wonder how much of tonight
he'll remember tomorrow.  Clearly, none of us realized how important Richie
Collins was to Hal."

"But Brett isn't Richie Collins!" Bobby said with no little frustration.

"To Hal, sometimes he IS Richie."

"I guess I just don't understand how he could fool himself that way."

"Bobby, we didn't know Hal or Richie then, how much they needed someone in
their lives to really love.  Hal convinced himself a long time ago, when he was
in the orphanage or was being bounced from foster home to foster home, that the
cause of ALL his problems was having no family.  None of us has appreciated how
positive the feelings engendered by an effective family can be. He thought if he
had a family, he'd be like everyone else.  Bobbie, hang onto that idea.  Along
comes Richie, who partners with him.  They become putative parents for the
younger boys in the orphanage.  Hal thinks and feels he has a family.  Then
Richie takes off into drugs, and Hal is left feeling like a loser.  The same way
Gerald and Nate left you feeling.  A part of him never moved past that time.
It's a hole in his life he's never filled.  He wants that family feeling back,
and he thinks finding Richie - in whoever's body that may be - is the only way
it can happen.  Imagine how you'd be feeling now if your couldn't accept what
Gerald and Nate did."

"But he's got us.  We're his family!"

"No, Bobby.  Is Hal here with us now?  After Drew and you and I left his home
that time we stayed with him, who was there with him?  No one.  If you are home
alone, in one sense, you have no family.  Those who are alone really can
appreciate the horrible power of the dark night of the soul."  Bobby was
startled by Angie's remark.  He never imagined in all her time with Dennis
Huxley that Angie could feel alone.  The realization struck him suddenly:  it
was her brother Randy's flight to Europe that had deprived her her of her
"twin."  He resolved to do something to get the two back together.  Randy was
tantamount to his Gerald and Nate.

Neither spoke for a while, pondering the possibilities Angie had set out.
"Bobby . . . ," Angie began hesitantly, "maybe someday you'll regret our
meeting, marrying, having a family."  Even before she finished, Bobby started
shaking his head vigorously in the negative.

"But how can you know the answer if you never meet Gerald and Nate again?"
she asked.

"Ang, when I met and fell in love with you, I learned why I was created a man.
To take liberties with a slogan, I was born to love, serve, protect and
honor - you, our children, our friends.  Don't think that, if I met Gerald and
Nate, I'd want to move back into a relationship with them.  There was a day,
maybe a year later after they ran off, when something inside me automatically
shut off.  That was my need to be rejoined with them.  I don't wish them
anything bad, but I don't need them.  I need you, Ang.  You are my life, my
heart, my whole purpose for being.  You've got me for the long haul."  He
grinned.  "You'll have to beat me off with a stick if you ever want to get rid
of me."  He arose, walked over to her chair, scooped his arms under her, lifting
her and turning around, sitting down in the chair, holding her to him.  She
snuggled into his arms.  They sat that way in silence for some time.

Eventually, Angie looked up and into Bobby's eyes, sliding her hand along his
cheek, shivering slightly with delight as the stubble on his cheeks scratched
the palm of her hand.  "I'm so proud and honored to be your lover, your wife,
the mother of your son."  She gently touched her lips to his.  Bobby slipped his
arms around her, pulling her to him more as the deepened his response to her
kiss.  Eventually, they separated as Angie lay her head back on Bobby's shoulder
and he rested his cheek on the top of her head.

"I dread going to work tomorrow," she confessed, "facing Hal, trying to act as
though something really ugly never happened, as though he hadn't had a role in
its occurrence.  I'm trying to understand his Jekyll/Hyde transformation
tonight, but I can't.  I guess that bothers me.  I don't think I'll feel
comfortable until I can understand it."

"You aren't afraid of Hal, are you?"

"No, Hal would never hurt me.  If he hadn't been drunk and caught off guard, he
would never have spoken to Drew that way.  It's like Hal and I got to know each
other and our work together had moved us close.  But after tonight, there's a
stranger in our midst - hiding inside Hal.  And I can't even begin to think what
I can do to help Drew."

(To be continued.)