Date: Thu, 8 Jul 2004 15:23:09 +0100
From: Drew Hunt <drew.hunt@blueyonder.co.uk>
Subject: The House On The Hill 21

This work is copyright.  I have given permission for a copy of this story
to be placed on the Nifty Archives under the terms of their submission
agreement.  But This work may not be copied or archived onto any other
website or newsgroup without the prior written permission of the author.

This story is fiction, it didn't happen, to the best of the author's
knowledge no one in the story exists in real life.

If you have a problem with reading stories of a homosexual nature, then
bugger off.  Also you shouldn't read on if you are below the age of
consent, or you have the misfortune to reside in an area where reading and
downloading this kind of material is against the law.

Thanks to the usual suspects (Tom W and Lars) for their invaluable help.

Chapter 21

"You okay, Ben?" Josh asked.  The two had been in bed for about an hour,
but Ben couldn't lie still.

"My back's sore."

"It's not cause of you picking them few apples, is it?"

"Nah, not really, the pain just comes and goes.  I get a few good days,
then one or two bad ones."

"Want me to rub some more of that stuff on?"

"Would you mind?  I didn't want to bother you."

"Ben, you should have said, it's daft you being in pain."

"Didn't want you to think of me like I was a baby."

Josh got up and switched on the bedroom light.  "Ben."  Josh fixed his
friend with a stern look.  "Please, I hate seeing you hurt, and to do it
when I can help, well that's stupid."

"Sorry," Ben said penitently.  "It's just I don't wanna be a burden all the
time.  You're always doing sports and stuff, and then there's me, who's
shit at games."

"Comere."  Josh gave Ben a tentative hug, not wanting to hurt his back.
"That's silly, Ben.  You're my best mate, I don't care that you can't do as
much as me.  Well, course I care, but it doesn't make any difference, you
know?"

Ben nodded.  'You're a saint, Josh,' he thought.

Ben sat on the edge of the bed whilst Josh began to apply the gel to his
back.

"If them pills don't come tomorrow I'm gonna get your mum to ring the
doctors.  I'm not having you hurting like this."

"Thanks.  Can you press a bit harder there?  Yeah, that's great."

Once he'd finished, Josh got up and wiped his hands on a towel.  "Have I
given you another stiffy?"

Ben blushed.  "Yeah, sorry."

Josh needed to know the answer to something; it had been nagging away at
him for a while, and he had his own reasons for asking, reasons which he
wasn't all that comfortable about confronting.  "Ben, um, look, oh heck, do
you think like, well, do you think you might be like your dad and Robbie?
Um, like, gay, I mean?"

The question terrified Ben, his face drained of all its colour and he began
to shake.

"Hey, man, hey."  Josh took hold of Ben's hands and held them.  He wished
he hadn't asked now.  "I don't mind, you know.  You don't have to tell me
if you don't wanna."

"I think I, oh, I dunno, I'm scared," Ben said before bursting into tears.

Josh performed another of those instinctive gestures of his, and hugged his
friend tightly, getting some of the cream on himself.  "Soright man, hey,
it's alright.  Please, Ben, don't cry about it.  I don't care, honest, I
don't."

"I love you, Josh," Ben said in a small voice.  He wasn't sure if Josh had
heard him through his tears, but his courage had deserted him; he couldn't
say it again.

Josh remained silent, but didn't pull away.

Thinking that he'd gotten away with it, Ben separated himself from his
friend and said that he better go into the bathroom to wash his face.  He
left the room, his mind in total turmoil.  He remembered Robbie advising
him to keep quiet for a bit longer.  Ben realised that he ought to have
taken more notice, but he'd got caught up in the maelstrom of his emotions,
and his declaration of love had just slipped out.  'But maybe he didn't
hear me.  God, I hope he didn't,' Ben said to himself as he splashed the
warm water on his face.

When Ben made his way back into the bedroom, Josh was lying down in the bed
facing away from him.  Ben dared not speak; he just clicked off the bedroom
light and slipped under the quilt, leaving a fairly wide gap between the
two of them.  Ben steadied his breathing, hoping valiantly for sleep to
claim him.

About half an hour past, Ben was still wide awake, the events of the
evening racing round in his head.

"You asleep, Ben?" Josh asked quietly.

"No, can't."

"Me neither."

Silence descended again.

"Ben?"

"Yeah?"

"Look, um, what you said, you know?"

"No, which bit?"  Ben's heart was pounding so loudly he was sure Josh could
hear it.

"When, um, when you said that, well, that you loved me.  Did you mean it?"

'This was it,' Ben thought.  "Sorry.  I shouldn't have said anything, it
just kinda slipped out."

"Did you mean it?"

This was sheer torture for Ben.  He hoped that all this was just a dream,
and he'd wake up in a minute and none of it would be real.

"Ben?"

"Yeah?"

"Did you mean what you said?"

Ben knew he couldn't evade the question any longer.  "Yes, Josh, I did,
very much," he said with a sob.

Josh moved quickly in the bed, his speed surprised and frightened Ben, who
thought Josh was going to hit him.  Ben let out a cry of alarm which woke
Lady, who barked and jumped up onto the bed.

Josh wrapped his arms around a shaking Ben.  "I think, heck, Ben, I love
you too.  I just was too scared to, like, tell you and all."

Ben twisted round in Josh's arms.  "Really?  I mean, you don't mind, I
mean, I don't know if I'm gay or what, but, Josh, you've just been so kind
and nice and lovely to me I feel all kinda warm and mushy inside whenever
I'm with you," he babbled.  Josh kissed Ben briefly on the lips, which
silenced him.

"I feel like that when I'm with you, too.  That's why I asked you if you
were like your dads.  I like taking care of you, Ben.  That's why I wanted
to rub your back, and not let your mum do it.  Cause I like touching you, I
like helping you, stopping you from hurting.  I dunno if I'm gay, either."
Josh hoped he wasn't, his father wasn't all that tolerant about 'those
bloody poofs.'  "But, Ben, what I do know is that ever since you gave me
that money for my dinner on the first day of school, I just knew you were
special.  Not like the others, and, well, oh, I'm no good at this sort of
shit.  Ben, I love you very much, too."

To prove his point, Josh kissed Ben again, but with a firmer lip lock this
time.

The specialist had told Ben that if he tried sleeping on his stomach, it
might help to alleviate his pain.  But he'd always found the position
rather uncomfortable.  When he'd told Josh of this, Josh insisted that he
lay on top of him, chest to chest.

"But I'll be too heavy for you, you'd be too uncomfortable."

"Nah, you're so light.  Let's have a go at it, anyway."

They did.  Ben thought it was wonderful to have so much skin contact with
Josh, it caused his dick to spring up.  Both boys giggled.

"This is nice," Josh said whilst softly stroking Ben's back.

"I'm not too heavy?"

"Nah, it feels, well it just feels right."  Josh didn't have the words to
express how he really felt.  It was as though having Ben lie on top of him
helped him somehow to share Ben's burden.  The proximity also allowed him
to feel closer to his friend.  He was doing something practical to ease
Ben's pain, which made Josh's heart swell.  Ben was so much smaller and
more vulnerable than him.  Whenever kids Josh's age encountered him, they
were often rather intimidated by his size.  Josh found it difficult to show
people that he wasn't large and clumsy, lacking in tenderness that his size
indicated.

The pair drifted off to sleep, Ben deliriously happy at the newfound
intimacy with his friend.  After kissing the side of Ben's face, Josh
drifted off; secure in the knowledge that at last he'd found his niche in
life.

Lady took full advantage of not being told to get off the bed.  She cocked
her head and gazed at her owner and his friend as they slept.  'About
bloody time those two got together.'  She scratched her left ear before
resting her head on her paws and falling asleep.

* * * * *

Ben slowly awoke from a deep but very satisfying dream.  Something felt
strange, but it was a really nice kind of strange.  His eyes blinked open.
What he saw was Josh's brown shoulder pressed close to his face.  Then he
remembered.  He raised his head and came face to face with Josh's rich
chocolaty brown eyes.

"Slept well?" Josh asked.

When Josh spoke, Ben felt the vibrations in his own chest.  "Um, yeah, I
did.  Sorry, it must have been so uncomfortable for you.  You should have
woke me up, I'd have shifted off you."

Josh silenced Ben with a kiss.  "Nah, I thought it was great, you cuddled
up to me all night.  Made me feel, well, kinda special."

"Oh, Josh, you are special.  So, oh heck, I don't know how to say it."  Ben
was fearful of telling Josh that he loved him.  He'd meant it when he'd
told him the previous night, but he was too shy and too fearful of
rejection to utter those precious three words again.

Josh seemed to sense Ben's inner struggle.  "I'm glad you told me last
night that you loved me, Ben.  Cause I didn't know how I'd be able to tell
you that I really love you, too."

Ben's eyes began to water.  "I do love you Josh, so much.  You're kind, you
care about me, you don't seem to mind that I'm a cripple . . . "

"Hey!" Josh interrupted.  "You're no cripple.  And don't let me ever hear
you say that about yourself again."  He was only slightly angry, but Ben
shrank from him.  Josh tightened his grip preventing Ben from getting off
of him.  "Sorry, man.  But you ain't crippled.  It's just that your back
doesn't work right.  But you can still walk and stuff like that."

"Yeah, sorry.  Sometimes I get to feeling sorry for myself."

"I know it can't be easy for you sometimes.  But you've got me now.  And
bad thoughts like that aren't allowed, you hear?"  Josh surprised himself
at the firm tone he was taking; he was normally such a quiet and shy
person, but somehow it felt right to him that he had to speak out and set
the record straight.

Ben grinned widely.  He felt so loved, so cared for that he threw off his
usual caution and leant down and gave Josh a soppy kiss.  This had been the
first time that he'd initiated a kiss, it shocked him a little and he
blushed.

"Thanks, man," Josh said.  "But you're gonna have to get off me now, I need
a pee."

Ben moved off of his rather comfortable mattress.  "Don't be long, I miss
my big cuddly teddy bear."

Josh laughed and moved off to the bathroom.  As he performed his ablutions,
Josh reflected upon recent events.  He began to realise that he had thought
more and more about other boys and men.  To him, girls had always seemed
giggly creatures, not the kind of people he wanted to get close to.  He
loved Jamie, his dad, very much, but there had always been a kind of
barrier between them.  Josh was uncertain as to why.  He felt that he
didn't feel comfortable being too close to him because of his growing
attraction to other males.  Maybe he felt that Jamie would discover
something of this growing attraction and ridicule him.  To be thought less
of by his father was something Josh wanted to avoid at all costs.  He knew
that Jamie had made the odd comment about the people he encountered whom he
perceived as being gay.  Josh honestly didn't know where his sexuality lay.
But if caring for and loving Ben meant that he was gay, then, with a
shudder, Josh had to face the fact that he was gay.  It was all very
confusing.

Finishing in the bathroom, Josh padded back along the landing and into his
and Ben's room.  "Bathroom's free."

"Thanks," Ben said, getting up and leaving the room.

Josh sat on the bed, idly stroking Lady's head.  "Oh girl, what should I be
thinking?  I like Ben so much, I like how he's smaller than me, how he lets
me look after him, I like that I'm stronger than him and, oh, I don't
know."  Josh shook his head to try and rid it of the confusing thoughts.

Lady placed her head in Josh's lap; she liked Josh, she knew that he cared
a lot for her owner, that alone made him special as far as she was
concerned.

"You boys decent in there?" Maureen called out from the other side of the
bedroom door.

"Yes, Mrs Gordon."

Maureen came in.

"Ben's in the bathroom," Josh said.

"Oh, right.  His tablets arrived in the post this morning."  Maureen handed
over the small Jiffy bag.  "He'll be able to have one with his breakfast."

"Oh, great.  Don't like seeing him in pain like he has been."

Maureen looked fondly at Josh.  "You like our Ben a lot, don't you?"

Josh blushed.  "Um, yeah, he and me are like best friends."

"That's good," Maureen said.  She thought that there might be a bit more to
their relationship than that.  However, she dismissed the idea; the two
boys were only twelve.  Well, Ben would be thirteen in a few weeks, but
they were both still very young.

"Okay, tell Ben that breakfast will be ready in about fifteen minutes,"
Maureen said, leaving the room.

* * * * *

Hereford was enjoying something of an Indian summer.  Maureen had decided
to take the boys out for the day.  William and Tamsyn tagged along, but
they'd seen the cathedral before and weren't that interested in seeing it
again.  As Ben and Josh weren't overly interested in the treasures of the
13th century Mappa Mundi and other similar historical artefacts, Maureen
decided just to show them the outside of the place.  A visit to an outdoor
courtyard café was more to their liking though.  Josh was intrigued by the
rather posh accents, which some of the schoolchildren who were also on half
term spoke.  It was later explained to him that the children were pupils of
the Cathedral school, a fee-paying educational establishment in which
Maureen hoped to get her children enrolled when they were old enough.
William pulled a face at the thought of going there.

After a quick look round the town, the children were getting rather
restless.  Maureen suggested a walk along the riverbank.

"What's this river called?" Ben asked as they made their way down a set of
steps leading to the bank.

"Wye," William replied.

"Cause I wanted to know, that's all," Ben said.

"No, silly," Tamsyn began giggling.  "It's called the river Wye, W.Y.E."

"Oh, right."  Ben felt a little foolish.

After they had been walking for a while, Josh spotted Ben grimacing a few
times.  "Is your arthritis bothering you?"

"Yeah, it's this uneven path, it jolts my back a bit."

"Okay, we'll get back up to the roadway, and take the shortcut back to the
car park.  Is your arthritis normally this bad?" Maureen said in concern.

"No, but some days are better than others.  I've had a few good days, so I
suppose I'll have a few bad ones now."

Josh was concerned.  "I'll rub your back again when we get you home.
You'll have to tell your dads about getting some of that gel, too."

"Yeah."  Ben hoped that William and Tamsyn hadn't picked up on Josh's 'your
dads' comment.  But then he realised it probably didn't matter.

When they got home, the two boys went to their bedroom.  "Okay, get 'em
off," Josh said, wearing a huge grin.

"Oh, Mr Pearson, you smooth talking devil, you.  You'll do anything to get
your hands on my gorgeous bod," Ben laughed as he stripped.

"Yeah, Ben, I would."  Josh was standing in front of Ben when the latter
had removed his T-shirt.  He planted a kiss on Ben's lips.  "Gosh, I didn't
think I'd enjoy kissing as much as I do."

"Me neither," Ben swooned.

"Do you think it, well, like, makes us gay?" Josh worried.

"Dunno.  Does it matter?"

"No, guess not."  It actually mattered a fair bit to Josh, but he didn't
want to think about it then.  He got out the tube of gel, and lovingly
rubbed it into Ben's silky soft skin.  Josh liked Ben's skin; it was much
softer than his own.  To his surprise he got an erection as he was applying
the lotion.  Ben spotted it.

"Well, I'm not the only one who gets hard, then," he giggled.

Josh told Ben to lay face down on the bed until the gel dried.  "Then we'll
go and see what's to eat."

"Okay, Bear."

"What'd you call me?"

"Bear; well it kind of suits you.  You're big and cuddly and. well, kinda
like a big teddy bear."  Ben got embarrassed.

Josh giggled.  "Spose I am."

"You don't mind?  Three of my dads' friends have nicknames for each other.
The big one gets called Lion, and the two smaller ones are called Cub."

"Then you can be a cub, too, but a bear cub not a lion cub."

Ben couldn't help the wide smile on his face.  "Yeah, bear cub, I like
that.  We best be careful when we use the names though, don't want others
knowing about it."

"Yeah."  Josh certainly didn't want anyone else to know about his special
friendship with Ben.

* * * * *

The week in Hereford passed all too quickly as far as the boys were
concerned.  They managed to get a fair bit of time to themselves; Maureen
didn't mind them going off together so long as they kept the house in
sight.  The pair would often lie in a ripening cornfield, and just lay
side-by-side, head propped up on an elbow.  Though Ben liked it best when
Josh cuddled him from behind, he felt safe, loved and cared for so much
during those times.  Equally Josh enjoyed his role as protector, too.  The
pair created innumerable fantasies in which Josh was a big grizzly bear,
and Ben his cub.  Their imaginings usually consisted of Josh warding off
the perceived dangers posed by all the other wild animals that came along.

One day the boys went paddling in a nearby stream.  However ,Ben lost his
balance on a slippery rock and fell into the water.  Josh was totally
mortified about it, but Ben soon recovered and got back to his feet.

"Bear, I'm not hurt, honest."

"You sure?"  Josh's expression gave Ben the impression that he didn't
believe him.

"Yeah, I'm fine, honest."

"Sorry, just I worry, I'm supposed to like look out for you and stuff, but
well . . . "

"Josh."  Ben kissed his friend.  "I love it when you do your Mr Macho, 'I'm
Ben's personal bodyguard' thing, but please don't worry too much."

"Yeah, sorry, Cub."

Ben grinned at the nickname, then a plan flashed into his brain.  He was
all wet, so why shouldn't Josh suffer a similar fate?  He bent down
quickly, scooped up some water and threw it at a surprised Josh.

"Right, it's war!" Josh said, putting on a mock menacing expression.

"Oh, save me, someone, please save me from the big bad bear."  Ben laughed
as Josh threw some water back at him.

After five minutes, Josh was as wet as Ben, but they'd both had fun, that
was the main thing.

"I oughta go back and get changed," Ben said. "Before my back gets cold."

"Oh, sorry, I didn't want it to get to your arthritis."

"Bear, it's fine, honestly.  It's been great just to mess about in the
water.  You'll have to come up to our house sometime, and have a swim in
our pool."

"Yeah, sounds great."

The boys linked arms and made their dripping way back to Maureen's.

* * * * *

Friday, and the boys departure back to Greenville rolled round much too
soon.  William and Tamsyn invited them to spend the next school holiday
with them; they'd quite liked having two older brothers to play with, even
though they wouldn't always join in with their games.

Maureen dampened her children's spirits a little by saying that Josh and
Ben would probably stay at their own houses during the Christmas break.
Though to stifle their rising protests, she fell back on the age-old
parental comment of promising something, without attaching a direct
commitment when she said. "Well, you'll just have to wait and see what
happens."

Ben, Josh and Lady got into the back of Robbie's car and were waved off.

"So, you enjoyed it then?" Robbie asked from the driver's seat.

"Yeah, Dad Rob, it was great."

"You shouldn't have forgotten your pills, though," Carl admonished.

"I know, Mr Powers, I told him that," Josh said.  Carl had asked Josh to
call him by his Christian name a number of times, but Josh always seemed to
prefer to address him as Mr Powers.

"Still, you're okay, now?" Robbie enquired.

"Oh yeah, fine.  Josh's been rubbing my back with some gel which Bill had,
it really helped."  Ben couldn't help the slight blush at admitting that he
and Josh had been so intimate.  The pair had agreed not to tell anyone
about their special friendship.  Ben was a bit disappointed because he knew
he'd be able to share the news with Robbie, if not his dad, without any
problems.  However Josh had been firm on the issue.  As Ben didn't want to
upset his friend, he agreed to keep quiet.

Much of the journey back to Greenville was punctuated by Ben and Josh
giving an edited account of their holiday.

"So it'll be back to school on Monday, then?" Carl said.

"Dad!  You didn't have to remind us of that," Ben complained.

"Yeah, sorry," Carl chuckled.

* * * * *

Robbie pulled up outside Josh's house.  Ben gave his friend a tight squeeze
before Josh opened the car door.

"See you on Monday, Josh," Ben said, a heavy note of sadness in his voice.

"Can I give you a ring later?"

"Yeah, that'd be cool."  Ben immediately brightened.  "You might be able to
come up to the house and have a go on my computer on Sunday, maybe?"

Ben had a state-of-the-art machine in his bedroom, hooked up to Robbie's
high-speed Internet connection.  He would have liked to have seen his
friend the next day, Saturday, but that day was reserved for the weekend
swim party; he didn't think Josh would want to join in given that almost
everyone there was gay.

"I'm sure his family will want to see something of their son this weekend,"
Carl told the love-struck pair.

"Yeah, probably."  Josh got out of the car, Robbie helped him take his case
out of the boot, and after a few words with Nancy, Robbie got back in the
car and drove them home.

Once the three were sat in the Drawing room, Ben asked. "So, did you miss
me then?"

"Nope," Carl said, trying to stifle a grin.

"Hmph!  You're a rotten liar, dad."

"You're right."  Carl ruffled Ben's hair. "Me and your Uncle, sorry, Dad
Rob, really missed having our son getting under our feet, asking awkward
questions and interrupting us when we, um . . . "

"Yeah.  I bet you two were at it all the time."

"Benjamin Powers!" Carl said a little shocked.

"Well, were you?" Ben giggled.

"Nice little boys shouldn't ask questions like that," Robbie said, trying
to stifle a blush.

"Yeah, thought you would be," Ben grinned.

"You and Josh seemed to have gotten closer," Carl said in a valiant effort
to change the subject.

"Yeah."  Ben fell silent remembering the many happy times the two boys had
spent together.  They'd even gone as far as touching one another's private
parts; this, for Ben, had been wonderful.  Josh was so much bigger than
him, and he'd started to grow hair around his penis, something Ben was
still waiting for.

"You've gone quiet," Carl said.

"Oh, sorry, yeah, me and Josh had a great time, dad.  But I really missed
you and Dad Rob."  Ben was sitting in the centre of the couch, with his
fathers on either side of him.

"And I missed my little squirt, too."  Carl wondered about the far away
look that Ben had worn when he'd mentioned Josh's name.  It was so similar
to the look that Robbie used to wear whenever his, Carl's, name was
mentioned.  Carl wondered if history was about to repeat itself.
Remembering Robbie's words about treading carefully, he decided not to
voice his concerns directly.

Taking hold of Ben's hand, Carl gave it a squeeze.  "Ben, you know that you
can come to me or Rob and tell us anything, anything at all.  We love you,
and nothing, absolutely nothing, will ever change that."

Ben, despite the promise he'd made to Josh, simply couldn't hold in his
feelings any longer.  His heart was just bursting with the new love that
he'd discovered, and knowing that the two most important people in his
world loved him, caused him to begin to sob.

"Son, oh Ben, what is it?"  Carl drew Ben onto his lap.  Ben wrapped his
arms around Carl and wept onto his shoulder.  "I love him, dad.  I love
Josh so much it hurts."

Carl, though a little surprised, rubbed Ben's back affectionately.  'Yep,
history is repeating itself,' he thought.  Though he had an iron
determination in his heart that unlike Robbie, Ben wouldn't suffer alone,
not knowing what to do with his feelings.  No, that would never happen to
his precious son.

"Ben."  Robbie put a hand onto his son's back. "It's right what your dad
said, you know.  We still love you, in fact we love you all the more for
feeling that you could trust us with all of this."

"I know, Dad Rob, I know I'm really lucky to have you both."

"And we're so very lucky to have you, aren't we, Car?"

Carl kissed his son's cheek.  "You'll never know how many times I poked my
head round your bedroom door when you were little, and just watched you
sleeping.  I thank your mum for letting you stop with me instead of going
to live with her, and I thank which ever God gave you to me and your mum in
the first place."

Ben cried his tears, which were a mixture of joy, confusion and uncertainty
for the future.

"Come on, it's my turn now," Robbie said, opening up his arms; Ben crawled
across into them.  "I know you think you're almost grown up now, but I hope
it'll be a long time before you'll stop wanting hugs from your two dads.
Cause we like giving them as much as you like getting them."

"Now, Ben," Carl cleared his throat.  "You said that you love Josh.  He's a
nice boy, and a good friend to you, so there's nothing wrong with you
loving him.  I loved Rob like that when I was only a little older than you,
but I didn't, um, I mean, I wasn't romantically in love with him back
then."

"But Dad Rob was romantically in love with you.  Weren't you?"  Ben looked
up at Robbie.

"Not in the beginning.  At first I just thought that your dad was extremely
good-looking, strong, confident, and I just wanted to be near him, have him
as my friend."

"But you soon, I mean, it, your love, I mean, changed, didn't it?"

Robbie was somewhat embarrassed to discuss his teenage love life with his
son, but he knew that Ben needed to know how such things worked.  "Yes,
Ben.  I can't point to any one time and say that my feelings had changed,
but they did, yes, you know that they did."

"I know, dad's always been a hunk, hasn't he?"

Carl blushed and Robbie laughed.  "Yep, he has.  But what I'm trying to say
is that your love for Josh might not be the full-blown, no holds barred,
head over heals love that you think it is."

"It is," Ben defended.

"Yes, love, I know that in your heart you think that it is, but despite the
fact that you are pretty grown up for your age, you are still only twelve,
well, almost thirteen.  But it is possible, even likely that your feelings
will change."

"I hope they won't," Ben said.

"Well, sweetheart, in some ways, I and your dad hope that they do."

Ben looked shocked.  "But you said . . . "

"Calm down, Ben," Carl said.  "What I said about loving you, and always
loving you, will never ever change.  What Rob's saying is that we, and more
so Rob, know what it's like to love another man.  It can be very
frightening, lonely, and full of disappointments."

"You two are happy though, aren't you?"

"Yes, very, but we aren't the norm, and it took us a long time to discover
what we felt for one another."

"Well, Josh says that he loves me."

"You've talked to him about it?" Carl said with obvious surprise.

"Yeah, I got hard when he was rubbing some of that gel on my back, and,
well, he kinda asked me if I was like you two, you know, gay?"

"And what did you say?" Robbie asked.

"I told him that I didn't know.  But I think I lied, dads.  I think I might
be gay, too."

Carl couldn't trust his voice at that moment, but he started to rub Ben's
back, just to show him that he wasn't appalled by the news.

"Well, you might be," Robbie proceeded cautiously.  "But it is still
possible that you might develop an interest in girls.  Please, Ben, don't
be too ready to label yourself, you aren't yet thirteen."

"But you knew when you were my age, didn't you?"

"Well, I had a pretty good idea, yes.  But different people realise at
different times.  Your dad didn't know for certain until much later."

"And we don't want how me and Rob live to influence you.  You've been
exposed to how gay people live far more than many children your age.  So,
Ben, love, what Rob and me are saying is, don't be too hasty.  Live your
life, make friends, yes, even with girls, and see what happens."

"Yeah, guess so."

"You don't know for certain about your own sexuality, and I bet Josh
doesn't know about his, either.  Just be really good friends, and see where
it takes you," Robbie said.  "You're going to have lots of bumps in the
road, Ben, especially if you do turn out to be gay, but know this."  Robbie
turned Ben's head to face him.  "Both your dad and me will be with you
every single step of the way.  We'll share in your happiness, but we'll
also be there when you are down.  And let me tell you, you'll have times
when you're really sad."

"Thanks."  Ben gave Robbie a tight hug, then did the same to his dad.  In
the months and years to come, Ben would look back on this conversation, and
be very glad that it had taken place.

To be continued.