Date: Sun, 22 Jan 2006 00:44:59 EST
From: RitchChristopher@cs.com
Subject: the-passion-of-matthew-5

All rights reserved. Copyright held by the author. If you are underage or
are offended by gay fiction, containing graphic sex and explicit language,
please exit now.


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                            "THE PASSION OF MATTHEW"
                            Copyright Ritchris 2005

                                  A story by

                                Ritch Christopher

                             Literary enhancement by

                                   Les Martin

                                   * * * * *

                                  Chapter Five



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	"I'll be damned if I'll call him! I'll show him that a marine can
do anything he sets his mind to!" Whether it was Marine pride, vanity, or
just trying to prove he could do things for himself, Matt refused to call
Hank to help him out of the bathtub. He got himself out without too much
difficulty, then stood on one leg while he shaved at the lavatory. Then
Matt did something he hadn't bothered to do since returning home from Iraq:
he applied deodorant under his arms and splashed after-shave lotion on both
cheeks. Matt was determined to impress Hank any way that he could. He
combed his hair and brushed his teeth. Then, as an afterthought, he used
Mike's Crest mouthwash.

	Using his crutches, he went back to his bedroom, strapped on his
prosthesis and dressed in new jeans that Art had bought him the previous
Christmas. Matt had never worn them because he'd never had a reason to wear
them...until now. He also had a drawer full of brand new pullover
short-sleeve shirts from which he picked a flashy blue one with two tiny
yellow stripes running across his chest. He thought that yellow socks, or
rather one sock, would match the yellow in his shirt and on his good foot,
he donned a casual penny loafer and replaced the shoe on his prosthesis
with the remaining loafer. Looking in the mirror, but avoiding looking at
his face, he guessed he was ready for breakfast AND for meeting Hank for
the second time this morning.

	Hoping that he looked the way only 'a few good men' could, he
entered the kitchen, stood at attention and saluted Hank, saying loudly,
"Private Sawyer reporting for KP duty, SIR!"

	Hank turned around and damn near dropped the bowl of eggs he was
scrambling. He could hardly believe his eyes OR the drastic change for the
better in Matt's appearance.

	Carefully setting down the bowl in his hands, Hank returned Matt's
salute and said, "At ease, Private. Permission is granted for you to be on
KP patrol...but only AFTER breakfast!"

	"YESSIR!"

	"My God, Matt, you look wonderful!"

	"Thanks. Since I can't improve my body, the least I can do is cover
it up with fancy duds!"

	"You did a good job. I'm not only impressed, I'm proud of you."

	"So what can I do to help you with breakfast?"

	"You can take the sausage, bacon, and biscuits out of the oven and
put them on platters while I fry the eggs. Also, get us a couple of cups
for the coffee."

	Matt obeyed Hank's orders obligingly and began performing his tasks
with vigor proving he was still 'Semper Fi'.

	Five minutes later, Hank and Matt were seated face to face at the
table, eating their homemade meal. Hank couldn't believe how heartily Matt
was eating his food. SOMETHING had made Matt work up an appetite. Hank only
wished Mike and the guys were here to see the 'new' Matt!

	"So did you enjoy the bubble bath?"

	"You know, when I saw people...mostly women...taking bubble baths
in the movies, I could never understand what was so special about them,
but, by golly, they relax the shit out of you."

	"The bath of luxury...that's what it's called."

	"I can easily see why..."

	"So while you were soaking in luxury, did you get any ideas about
what you'd like to do today?"

	"That movie we watched last night...do you have any others like
it?"

	"You mean gay movies?"

	"Not gay in particular, but 'pal movies'...you know, where good
friends become best buddies. I don't mean that they turn queer for each
other or anything like that..."

	"I might have one or two. Why? Would you like to watch a 'buddies'
movie?"

	"Maybe," Matt replied, avoiding eye contact with Hank. "You know I
did a lot of thinking about Colin Farrell last night after you left..."

	"Oh...?"

	"You don't think he's gay, do you?"

	"I doubt it...but I've heard rumors."

	"What kind?"

	"Well, you said that 'Tigerland' was one of your favorites."

	"Yeah...?"

	"That was Colin's break-through acting role. Before that, he was
discovered working in a theater production...either in Ireland or in
England, I don't remember which. At any rate, Kevin Spacey discovered Colin
and promoted his career. That's how Colin landed the role in 'Tigerland',
or so I was told. Rumors say that Kevin broadened many of Colin's talents,
even in the bedroom."

	"Yeah, but on TV, you always hear about Colin fucking this girl and
then another and one caught him on video fucking her."

	"Colin might be like the character he played in the movie last
night."

	"You mean bisexual?"

	"Exactly."

	"He sure had guts to kiss a guy the way he did in that movie. It
looked to me that he really wasn't acting but enjoying himself!"

	"In European countries, especially Russia, it's common for two men
to kiss openly on the streets when they meet...the way we shake hands or
bump fists."

	"You're kidding?"

	"No, that's fact."

	"It would feel strange for me to kiss a guy...even if I were a
Russian."

	"If you WERE a Russian, you wouldn't think anything about it."

	"Have you ever kissed a guy, Hank?"

	"Oh, maybe, in certain circumstances."

	"I don't mean your dad or a relative, but a guy 'guy'?"

	"I'm not one to lie, but I don't want to give you the wrong idea
about me, but, yes, I've kissed a guy 'guy'."

	"You know almost EVERYTHING about me, but I know so little about
you, Hank."

	"What would you like to know?"

	"Well, do you have a girlfriend back home?"

	"No."

	"Have you EVER had a girlfriend?"

	"Back in high school, I had several."

	"Ha, with your good looks, I bet you had to beat them off with a
stick."

	"No, I was pretty shy in high school."

	"You? Why?"

	"Well, my mother was dead and my dad and I never got along. So I
really didn't know how to trust people. No one had ever set an example for
me to follow. So rather than making a fool of myself, I avoided my
classmates."

	"How about you? Did you have a girlfriend before you joined the
Marines?"

	"A few."

	"I guess I don't have to ask if you've seen any of them since
returning home?"

	"That's right, you don't have to ask. I don't want any of them to
see me until I make up my mind to grow up and join the circus and be the
headliner of the freak show. I could mix up a conglomeration of cold cream
and green food dye and spread it all over my body and pass myself off as an
alligator man."

	"Damn it, Matt! You promised to stop talking like that in front of
me!"

	"Well, I'm sorry---it's easy for me to forget. It's not like my
deformity will go away if I don't talk about it."

	"Finish your breakfast so I can wash the dishes and the two of us
can go look through my DVD's and I'll let you do the picking."

	"All right, I won't talk about myself any more."

	"I'll bet I can hold my breath until you break that promise." Hank
said.

	"When's the last time you went out on a date?" Matt asked, from out
of the blue, catching Hank a bit off guard.

	"Uh...last Wednesday, if you must know."

	"I didn't mean to pry, but I WAS curious," Matt replied, but
continued. "Was it with your steady girlfriend?"

	"I've already told you I don't have a steady girlfriend."

	"Then tell me what were the 'certain circumstances' when you kissed
a guy."

	"Matt, for God's sake! Why all the questions?"

	"It's like I said. I want to get to know you better."

	Hank was losing his patience. "Well, let's see...I wear a medium
pullover shirt, my jeans are 30"x31", I wear a nine and a half shoe, and my
briefs are twenty-eight to thirty inches. How's that for starters?"

	"That's more than I knew five minutes ago."

	"Can we skip the chase and cross the finish line?"

	"What do you mean?"

	"I think you're gonna ask me three dozen dumb questions about me,
culminating with 'Are you gay?'"

	Matt paused and blushed before speaking. "Well...are you?"

	"Am I gay?"

	"What if I say, 'yes'? You gonna go into blind hysteria and throw
things at me?"

	"Probably not."

	"That's not an answer of certainty."

	"OK, I won't! I swear! Will you tell me now?"

	"All right, if it's so important to you...Yes, I'm gay."

	"I thought so."

	"Then why did you ask?"

	"I just wanted to see if you were man enough to admit it!"

	"Are you man enough to accept it? You being a Marine and all..."

	"Sure, I can."

	"Now is your next question about whether or not I have a
boyfriend?"

	"I see you can read minds, too."

	"The answer is, 'yes, I have a boyfriend'!"

	"Will you tell me about him? I mean why did you go away for the
whole summer and leave him?"

	"His name is Lance. We only see each other once-a-week. So by
coming here to work this summer, I'm earning money for my college tuition
and I'll only be gone for twelve weeks, so I'll miss seeing him twelve
times."

	"Why don't you see each other the remaining six days out of a
week."

	"Fuck! You might as well know, since you won't be seeing him and
you won't be seeing me come September. Lance and I meet every Wednesday
afternoon. The rest of the week, Lance spends with his wife!"

	"Jesus Christ! A married man?"

	"Yes!"

	"Then he's like Colin Farrell in that movie...a bisexual?"

	"'Bi' usually means half, but Lance leans eight-five percent toward
his gay side."

	"I don't suppose his wife knows?"

	"He hopes not, I know."

	"You said 'he'. What about you? Do you hope she doesn't know?"

	"Matt, there have been many times I started to call her anonymously
and tell her about Lance and me. but I always stopped before I dialed the
phone."

	"Why?"

	"First of all, Lance would never forgive me if he found out I had
called Lois...that's his wife. That would end Lance's and my relationship."

	"And second...?"

	"Lance's wife has more money than God. They'll divorce eventually
and Lance and I can live together then. But if Lois finds out about
me. she'll cut Lance off without a dime in the divorce settlement."

	"One last question..."

	"Thank God! What is it?"

	"If Lance is cheating on Lois, how do you know he's not cheating on
you while you're here this summer?"

	"Because I trust him. I love him, Matt."

	"So now I know who sent you the cell phone?"

	"Brilliant deduction, Sherlock! Now are you finished with your game
of twenty questions?"

	"For now..."

	"Good. Now I can do the dishes and if it's all right with you,
we'll change the topic of conversation."

	"Can I tell you something?"

	"As long as it's not a question, go ahead."

	"I'm glad you're gay, Hank."

	"You're glad? Why?"

	"Oh, so now you're gonna start asking ME twenty questions?"

	"I think I've earned the right to ask a few. So..why are you glad
I'm gay?"

	"Because maybe I can open up and tell you a few secrets I've kept
from EVERYBODY."

	"Such as...?"

	"Before I got burned. I...I had a gay experience..."

	"In the service?...with a Marine?"

	"Yeah."

	"Good God! No wonder you kept that a secret! Did you or your
fellow-Marine get caught?"

	"No, we were careful."

	"I'm curious as hell how you had an affair in Iraq, living in tents
and foxholes."

	"That's how we got away with it...foxholes, I mean. When we went
out on an overnight patrol, we'd all buddy up in twos. James, my friend,
and I used to double-up together in a two man trench or foxhole. Sometimes
we'd stay there all night, being quiet, waiting for insurgents to come down
the road we were guarding. James and I would snuggle up and do things...and
no one was ever aware of what we were doing." Having finally spoken the
secret aloud, Matt had to pour out the rest.

	"Was this your first gay experience?"

	"My first and only. Hank, I really thought I was in love with him
and it was so goddamned contrary to everything I believed in or the way
Uncle Mike raised me. Hell, deep inside, I knew it was wrong. Men don't
fall in love with other men...but somehow it just happened."

	"How did James feel about it?"

	"He loved me, too."

	"And I suppose after you were burned, you never wanted him to see
you the way you are now?"

	"That's what might've happened...but that's not the way it was."

	"So, what DID happen?"

	"James was with me in the same Humvee when it exploded."

	"Oh, my God, Matt."

	"This is the first time I've ever talked about it to anyone, Hank."

	"Say as much as you want me to hear but don't upset yourself."

	"I was driving...and James was sitting in the front passenger
seat. When I got out to fill the gas tank...well, this kid who was strapped
up with a bomb came toward me. Then the bomb blew up." Matt began breathing
heavier and his voice broke as he was about to break down in
tears. "Somehow, when the Humvee blew to smithereens, the flaming gasoline
splashed all over me." Now Matt WAS crying. "The explosion separated James'
head from the rest of his body and his head went straight up in the
air. When it came down, it landed on top of me!" Matt's crying became
uncontrollable. "JAMES' EYES WERE WIDE OPEN AND STARING AT ME! I guess I
went into shock because I blacked out. When I woke up, no one would tell me
what happened to James' head. I STILL DON'T KNOW!"

	Hank went to Matt and put his arms around Matt while Matt cried
loudly against Hank's midsection. Hank stroked Matt's bald head where once
there was hair.

	"It's OK, Matt. Let it go....let it all out. You've needed to tell
this to someone for a long time. I'm glad it was me that you decided to
trust with this story."

	"Oh, Hank! Why didn't I die, too? Why was I spared to go through
life alone as a miserable scarred piece of meat? Why can't I die now and
get out of everyone's way so no one will have to turn his head away
whenever he sees me? I wasn't ugly before the explosion. James loved me..."

	"Matt, Matt, if James had survived the explosion, he would still
love you."

	"NO! Not the way I look!"

	"Matt, listen to me! If both of you had survived and James had been
scarred and not you, would YOU have still loved him?"

	"Of course I would."

	"Why, Matt? For pity's sake? Because you felt sorry for him?"

	"Hell. NO! James' looks weren't that important to me. I knew the
real James...what was inside him. That's the part I loved most."

	"Yes, Matt, and YOU'RE still YOU inside! Sure, you're scarred, but
many others have physical flaws that intimidate them...bald men, fat men,
even skinny men, men with birthmarks, men with bad teeth. We all have scars
of some kind. There is only ONE Brad Pitt. The rest of the Hollywood actors
are doing their best to emulate him. What about Sean Penn? Philip Seymour
Hoffman? They are fantastic actors, but neither of them ever won a beauty
contest and that didn't stop them from becoming big movie stars or becoming
two of the finest actors in the film industry. Looks are important, yes,
but looks don't make a person who he is. It's what's inside. The inner you
that has to emerge and surface for others to see."

	"I don't have inner beauty!"

	"The hell you don't! I've only known you for a couple of days and I
can already see it."

	"Stop filling me with bullshit to prop up my ego!"

	"I'm not trying to prop up anything about you. You're a great,
wonderful person inside. You've forgotten what's inside you. Matt, I'm only
going to be here for three months and I'll do my damnedest to bring it out
of you."

	"Yeah, you can tolerate me for three months and then go back to
your handsome boyfriend who's trying to get his wife's money?"

	"That was a cruel thing to say about someone you've never met."

	"It's the truth, isn't it?"

	"That remark doesn't deserve a reply, Matt."

	"You know, Hank, I'm not so sure I want you to be my nursemaid for
three months."

	"Why?"

	"Goddammit! Can't you see what's gonna happen?"

	"No! Why don't YOU tell ME!"

	"If you stay for three months and I'm around you every day. I'm
going to learn to depend on you and I've never depended on anyone for
anything. The longer you stay, the closer you and I are gonna become...and
by September, I'll have fallen madly in love with you and then you'll leave
to go back home to have Lance hold your hand while the two of you walk
happily ever after into the sunset."

	"Do you really think you're gonna fall in love with me?"

	"Sure, but it will be one-sided...on my part alone."

	"What if I don't ALLOW you to fall in love with me?"

	"I can't run from the inevitable!"

	"What do you mean?"

	"About thirty minutes ago when you left me in the bathtub, I found
myself already fantasizing about you when I jerked off."

	"Then I'll have to find you a substitute for your fantasies."

	"How?"

	"Hell, I don't know. There's this online movie place that sells gay
porno. I can send off for a half dozen all-male DVD's, say from Trojan or
Colt Videos. You can jerk off looking at them. That's what I did before I
met Lance."

	"You mean you didn't have boyfriends before Lance?"

	"Lance was my first. If my dad knew I was gay, he'd disown me more
than he has already. I'm sure if my dad knew about Lance, he's spend all
the money he's got to 'out' Lance and ruin him professionally and every
other way he could think of. My dad's a puritanical tyrant! You ought to be
glad you had your Uncle Mike to raise you. Does Mike know anything about
you and James?"

	"No, and there's no reason for him to know. James is dead and I'll
never have another boyfriend."

	"What about plastic surgery that the military will pay for, Matt?"

	"Don't you think I've dreamt about it day and night since I got
home?"

	"I sure you've THOUGHT about it. So why not go through with it?"

	"You saw me pass out yesterday after a quick run. I discussed
plastic surgery with one of my doctors in Germany."

	"And...?"

	"He said my lungs were too damaged for me to be put under
anesthesia and it would take at least a dozen operations to replace most of
my skin. The doctor told me I would probably die during the FIRST surgery!"

	"Then what about lung transplants?"

	"Shit! Do you REALLY think it's worth it...I mean if you were in MY
situation?"

	"I don't know, Matt. But I DO know that I'm not going to leave
until September and I'm NOT going to stop spending every day and night with
you. We have three months together and I'm sure we can figure something out
in that length of time."

	"Good luck...only it's MY life you're planning, not YOURS!"

	"I don't even have MY life planned yet, Matt. Lance has my life in
limbo. He says he's gonna divorce Lois, but I don't have a guarantee that
that will happen."

	"And what if he doesn't?"

	"Then I'll just go off to college in the fall and go my own way
without him."

	The conversation between Matt and Hank ended there as Hank
collected the breakfast dishes, washed them and put them into the dish rack
to dry. Matt went into the living room to watch, 'The Ellen Show' and 'The
Price is Right'. When all the kitchen chores were completed, Hank came in
to join Matt to watch the second half hour of Bob Barker's game show with
Matt.

	Finally, when a black lady from Arkansas won the final showdown,
winning a trip to Paris and a Chrysler convertible, Hank broke the silence
and suggested that the two of them go pick out a DVD as they had planned
earlier. Hank had brought more than a hundred DVD's with him and Matt was
awestruck, faced with so many movies he hadn't seen. There was enough to
last the entire summer. Since the two had openly shared their secret, Hank
wasn't ashamed to show Matt his collection of gay movies. None were
pornography as they were gay love stories with titles such as 'Latter
Days', 'The Broken Hearts Club', 'The Man I Love', 'Get Real', 'Edge of
Seventeen', 'Maurice', 'Longtime Companion', 'The Trip', 'Trick', and the
one they settled on to watch first, 'Beautiful Thing' which had a happy
ending.

	"Want to watch it in the living room or your bedroom?" Hank asked.

	"My bedroom, if you don't mind...I enjoyed lying there next to you
last night watching Colin Farrell."

	"Then the bedroom it is!"

	Matt went into his bedroom first and arranged the pillows as they'd
been the night before while Hank put the DVD into the machine. Then Hank
went over to the bed to assume last night's position. Both propped up their
heads with pillows while the opening credits were scrolling.

	"Beautiful Thing' concerned the coming of age of two young lads,
both from dysfunctional families in South East London, living in
side-by-side apartments. During the course of the film, love between them
grows from teen-age angst into a loving relationship. Unlike most European
gay films which usually ends with death and despair, this one concludes on
an uplifting, satisfying note. Midway through the plot, the boys spend the
night together and share their first kiss and their initial touch. During
the scene, Matt used his good hand to grab Hank's. Even though Hank
accepted Matt's gesture as a sign of innocent affection, Hank chose to
casually withdraw his hand from Matt's. After Matt's confession that Hank
had become the object of his fantasies, Hank did not want Matt to get even
the slightest hint that he could pursue a physical relationship, no matter
how small. Hank was in love with Lance and that had to be understood by
Matt without the intention of hurting Matt emotionally. So when Hank pulled
his hand away, he smiled at Matt and said, "Not now."

	Hank's reaction and remark didn't upset Matt for Matt knew he had
crossed over the line by making physical contact with his new friend and
'sitter'. After the movie, once again, Hank saw tears in Matt's eyes, only
these were tears of joy owing to the happy ending where the two teens'
relationship was accepted and their future appeared to be uplifting and
hopeful. Hank had watched 'Beautiful Thing' many times at home and was more
than familiar with each scene. And so, many times during the film, Hank
would carefully grab a quick glance at Matt to watch his reactions,
especially when the teens first kissed and the first night they spent in
bed together. Matt's eyes were all but glued to the TV screen and
occasionally he smiled as the new young love manifested itself between the
two young characters.

	Hank got up off the bed to remove the DVD from the player when the
final credits had ended. He looked back at Matt and asked, "Well, what did
you think of this one?"

	"I liked it, although I did have a bit of trouble understanding
some of the things they were saying."

	"You mean their accents?"

	"Yeah. I didn't learn exactly where they lived, but they sounded as
if they were from Liverpool and they talked like the Beatles did."

	"I know what you mean. It took me several times watching it to
catch all the words I couldn't understand the first time."

	"What time is it?" Matt asked.

	"It's almost two o'clock. Why?"

	"I was wondering if we could watch another movie?"

	"If you like. I want to go read some of Mike's cookbooks and see if
I can find something to make for dinner. My cooking expertise runs out
after spaghetti and meat sauce. Mike said I could find some easy recipes in
his books."

	"Are you going to make cooking for Mike and the guys a nightly
habit?"

	"I know that's not part of my job description, but then, I'm not
doing what I was hired to do in the first place anyway."

	"Hank, would you rather be surveying than staying here with me all
day?"

	"Get serious! Standing outside all day in the blistering Georgia
sun, holding a surveyor's measuring pole as compared to staying here with
you and watching movies? Which would YOU rather do, if you were I?"

	"If I were you, I'd love to go out in the sun, but you know I'm not
allowed to do that for long periods of time. I would have third degree
burns all over my already burnt body."

	"I'll tell you what! You said you hadn't seen Colin Farrell in 'The
Recruit'. So why don't I go get the DVD and let you watch it while I go
read up on a few recipes. If I find out that Mike has the ingredients in
his freezer or pantry, why don't you help me make dinner when the movie is
over?"

	"You want me to help you cook?"

	"Yeah. I think it's time you started doing a few chores around here
instead of lying in bed feeling sorry for yourself."

	"You know I can't cook."

	"I can't either, but I can read and follow directions. Mike says
that's all there is to cooking. Don't you think it's time you earn your
keep?"

	It wasn't much to ask, but Hank was placing responsibilities on
Matt, knowing that Matt had a sense of pride...perhaps the first he'd had
since returning from Iraq. Matt HAD been on KP patrol in the marines and
had peeled literally thousands of potatoes. But that was before he went
overseas and real potatoes were replaced by large cans of instant
potatoes...and of course, back when he had TWO good hands.

	"All right, I'll do what I can to help, but you now I'm limited on
what I can..."

	"BULLSHIT! Don't say it! You're NOT limited and once you start
doing constructive things, you're gonna find out there are LOTS of things
you can do that you thought you couldn't do!"

	"OK, OK, I get the point!" Matt replied, smiling. "God, you're
worse than my DI was!"

	Hank took "Beautiful Thing" back to his room and got "The Recruit"
and brought it back to Matt's bedroom and started it. In many ways, Hank
was glad there were no gay characters in this movie. "The Recruit" was a
CIA suspense thriller with Colin and Al Pacino, filled with many plot
twists. During the first scene, Matt became totally absorbed in the plot
which made it easier for Hank to leave to go into the kitchen.

	Before Hank began to search for recipes, he decided to take
inventory of what Mike had stored in the freezer, refrigerator, and
pantry. This would give Hank a better idea of what he could prepare without
having to drive to the grocery store in downtown Philemon. Hank was more
than amazed by what he discovered. Mike's food supply looked as if he had
stocked the items while watching the Food Channel or 'The Iron Chef'. The
freezer was overflowing with every kind of meat imaginable...chuck roasts,
Porterhouse steaks, pork chops, pork roasts, veal, a leg of lamb, a huge
turkey, various types of chicken...broilers. fryers. both whole and cut up,
lobsters, crabs, clams, oysters, shrimp, scallops, and a large variety of
fish.

	"Jesus!" Hank exclaimed. "Mike has bought enough to last the whole
summer!"

	It wasn't a matter of what Hank needed. It was just difficult
trying to decide what to choose from the vast meat supply. Behind the
pantry of canned goods was a large walk-in cooler filled with all kinds of
vegetables, almost rivaling a farmer's market. Hank then picked up the
first of many cookbooks and looked at the index, starting with the
'b's'...BEEF. He ran his finger down the beef selections until he came to
'roast beef'. Hank remembered his mom and the way she used to cook a beef
roast and surround it with various fresh vegetables. He also remembered
helping her cut up the veggies and placing them around the roast and
letting them cook together for a couple of hours. This seemed to be the
easiest choice for his first try.

	Hank went to the freezer and retrieved a large chuck roast and
placed it into the microwave to 'quick-thaw'. Then he punched 'roast' on
the MW dial and set the timer for four pounds and hit 'ON'. From the cooler
he got potatoes, carrots, onions, celery, some cherry tomatoes, and three
bell peppers, one green, one yellow, and one red, to add color to his
dish. 'Man, this is easy!' Hank said to himself. He decided to wait on
preparing the task of cutting up the vegetables until Matt's movie was
over. Part of the cutting and dicing, Hank would delegate to Matt. So Hank
had at least an hour and a half until Matt could help him and Hank decided
to plan menus for the rest of the week. Never would Hank have thought that
preparing a meal for six or eight men could be so exhilarating, but he WAS
excited as he went from page to page looking and jotting down various
recipes. He visualized doing this in the future when he and Lance finally
moved in together. Lance would be surprised and pleased with his culinary
talent. He couldn't wait for Lance to call him later that evening!

	By four o'clock, Matt's movie was over and Hank took the DVD back
to his room, telling Matt that he had chores awaiting him in the
kitchen. Before leaving Matt, Hank took the time to help Matt with the
prosthesis so that Matt's crutches wouldn't be needed. Matt was perfectly
capable of putting on his walking device, but made no objection when Hank
knelt in front of him to help. When Hank returned to the kitchen, Matt was
there waiting to begin his tasks.

	"Matt, I still don't know what you can or can't do, so bear with me
while I assign you your duties."

	"YES SIR!" Matt said, loudly, while saluting.

	"I don't want to give you things to do which are impossible,
but...I guess, peeling potatoes is out of the question."

	"Why?"

	"Well, it DOES require two hands...one to hold the potato while the
other peels."

	"Set them in front of me and watch!" Matt commanded.

	Hank didn't want to embarrass or discourage Matt, but he placed the
bowl of potatoes in front of Matt just the same. Matt grabbed a potato and
placed it on the table. With his stump, he steadied the potato, and much to
Hank's surprise, Matt began peeling the potato with his good hand. Hank was
utterly amazed.

	"My God!" Hank said.

	"You thought I couldn't do it, didn't you?"

	"Actually, yeah."

	"And you're the one who was going to show me things I could do that
might surprise me."

	"It looks like I'm the one who's surprised. Does Mike know you can
do this?"

	"No. He's never asked me to help him in the kitchen. Even though
you were skeptical, you gave me the chance to prove myself when no one has
even tried."

	"Then, from here on in, young man, my expectations of what you can
or can't do has no limits! Fair enough?"

	"Yes...and thanks, Hank."

	"For what?"

	"Making me feel like I am a human being."

	Hank couldn't help himself. He turned away from Matt and choked
down a few tears.

	"You're not crying, are you?" Matt asked.

	"Bet your ass, I am. It's those goddamned onions. I think I'd
better let you peel them."

	"I will, as soon as I finish these potatoes."

	Inside of fifteen minutes, ALL the vegetables were ready to go
around the partially-cooked pot roast and Hank poured two cups of red wine
mixed with bouillon, salt and pepper. Then Hank placed the large pan in the
oven, reset the temperature at three-hundred-twenty-five degrees, just as
the recipe told him to do. Now all they had to do was to wait two hours.

	When Mike, Art, Bob, John, and Jim came home and sat at the dinner
table, all swore that this was the best roast beef they had ever eaten. It
would have been difficult to declare who was the proudest, Hank, Matt, or
Hank being proud of Matt. However, for everyone at the table, the meal was
delicious. Mike, Art, Bob, and John were astonished at the way Matt was so
well-dressed and groomed, but no one said anything as they didn't want to
make a big 'to do' over it. Calling it to Matt's attention would only
embarrass him. Shortly thereafter, Hank's cell phone, which had been
returned to him from Mike, rang. Hank knew who was calling and asked to be
excused while he went outside on the porch to take his call. Hank didn't
look at Matt and it was just as well, because Matt's face dropped the way a
kid's would've when he found out Santa had failed to bring him a
present. Matt got up and went to his room as soon as Hank went outside.

	Art gave Mike a questioning look as if to say, 'What's going on,
here?'. Bob gave John the very same look as they watched Matt leave the
table. Jim didn't have any idea of what the others were thinking.

	Outside, Hank answered his call.

	"Hello?"

	"Hi, sweetheart!" Lance said. "Did I disturb you?"

	"No, we just finished dinner. I've been anxiously waiting for you
to call."

	"Hank, just hearing your voice gets me excited. God, how I wish you
were here in my arms. I would fuck you all night."

	"I wish I were there too!"

	"Homesick yet?"

	"Some..."

	"Not a lot?"

	"I...I've been busy most of the day."

	"Doing what?"

	"I won't tell you. I'll save my surprise for September."

	"How are you doin' with the 'crip'?"

	"Lance, don't call him that. His name is Matt."

	"Sorry! My! Aren't we touchy?"

	"It's just that I have to listen to Matt referring to himself as a
cripple all day and I don't like others to call him that!"

	"Do I detect you've developed an affinity for the...for Matt?"

	"No, of course not!"

	"Should I be jealous?"

	"That's ridiculous, Lance. If you could see Matt, you'd have a
better understanding."

	"Maybe I'll get the chance."

	"What do you mean?"

	"I think I can get away next weekend. If you can get away from your
duties with Matt, I thought we could go to a motel near Philemon. Surely
they have motels there!"

	"Probably, although I've never seen a motel around here."

	"Hell, we can drive all the way to Atlanta and check into the Omni!
How does that sound to you?"

	"Wonderful...IF I can get away."

	"The crew you're working with doesn't work on Saturdays or Sundays,
does it?"

	"No..."

	"Good! Let them look after Matt for a couple of days while you fuck
my brains out."

	"I'll talk to Mike, Matt's uncle, and see if it's all right."

	"My God, Hank! You're not working at a slave camp. You HAVE to have
days off."

	"I know...it's just that...well, I've made a lot of progress with
Matt's becoming independent again and I'd hate to leave him while things
are going so good."

	"Hank?"

	"Yes?"

	"Are you falling for Matt?"

	"Good heavens, NO! Jesus, Lance! You know that you're the one I
love."

	"I just wanted to hear you say that."

	"You know, Lance, when I tell you that I love you, you never answer
back."

	"What?"

	"You never say that you love ME."

	"Do I HAVE to say it to convince you? Hank, my love, I'm ready to
give up my wife for you."

	"Yeah, give her up and get her money at the same time!"

	"What the fuck is that supposed to mean?"

	"Nothing, Lance. I'm sorry. I've had a long day and I'm tired."

	"Then why don't you go to bed and get a good night's sleep...only
make sure you sleep alone!"

	"Lance, will you stop it? I have no intention of sleeping with
Matt...tonight or any night in the future."

	"You mean that?"

	"I said it, didn't I?"

	"Yes. So go to bed, but make sure you ask Matt's uncle about being
off next weekend."

	"I will."

	"Good night, baby."

	"Good night, Lance. I love you."

	"And you know how I feel about you, you little knucklehead!"

	Lance hung up, still not saying the words Hank longed for Lance to
say.


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(To be continued in "The Passion of Matthew" chapter six.)