Date: Thu, 27 Mar 2003 14:32:49 EST
From: OneSillyRat@aol.com
Subject: TNT-Files chapter 5

The TNT Files, Chapter 5

The following story is fiction.  It describes sexually-explicit erotic
events between males.  If you are offended by this material, are too young,
or live in an area where it is not allowed, don't read it.  In the world of
this story, the characters don't always use condoms.  In the real world,
everybody should practice safe sex.

The authors retain all rights.  No reproductions or links to other sites
are allowed without the authors' consent.

Many thanks to Evan, Patrick, Ash, Mickey, Sara and Tim for encouragement
and inspiration.  Tim did the editing and wrote all the wonderful
'Tim-letters.'  The song lyrics are by James Taylor.

Remember what happened last time?  I was trying to convince Timmy to live
with me and be my love, kind of.  And he - was being reluctant, doubting
me, doubting himself.  And that's where we are now...

Okay, on with the show!

--Tom

Onesillyrat@aol.com
Part 5: You've got a friend


Hey Tommy, Big Guy,

(Bet you don't get that much, do you?  <G>)

I think I owe you an apology.  I never meant to offend you by calling you a
boy.  Remember that you are about the same age as Trey, Mark, Ced, and
Chaz.  They are referred to as "boys" in the title.  I love your
tantalizing combination of occasional emotional hesitancy and intellectual
feistiness, an amalgam that I find excitingly youthful.  OK?

As I've told you, your mind and spirit repeatedly make me throw wood.  I
have come to trust your judgment more and more in all sorts of matters, not
just in things literary.  In case I haven't told you, however, I lust for
your body, too.

Trust you?  Of course I do.  All I was saying in my last letter was that,
yes, I have insecurities.  You know pretty much all about me, and yet you
say you love me.  I worry, as I said, that you'd be disappointed if we were
together.  And I can't for the life of me see what there is about me that's
either lovable or physically attractive.

Tommy, I want to send you a lyric of a new favorite of mine.  It's hardly
great poetry, but I love the sentiment, especially as a message to you.

I will attach it to this email.

Be in no doubt, you beautiful MAN, I love you.

Tim

You've Got a Friend

James Taylor


When you're down and troubled And you need a helping hand And nothing, whoa
nothing, is going right, Close your eyes and think of me And soon I will be
there To brighten up even your darkest nights.

You just call out my name, And you know wherever I am I'll come running, oh
yeah baby, To see you again.  Winter, spring, summer, or fall, All you have
to do is call And I'll be there, yeah, yeah, yeah.  You've got a friend.

If the sky above you Should turn dark and full of clouds And that old north
wind should begin to blow, Keep your head together and call my name out
loud, And soon I will be knocking upon your door.  You just call out my
name and you know wherever I am I'll come running to see you again.

Hey, ain't it good to know that you've got a friend?  People can be so
cold.  They'll hurt you and desert you.  Well they'll take your soul if you
let them.  Oh, yeah, but don't you let them.

You just call out my name and you know wherever I am I'll come running to
see you again.  Oh, babe, don't you know that?

Lord, I'll be there, yes I will.  You've got a friend.  You've got a
friend.


				   * * *


Hi sweetest,

Nobody ever has called me "Big Guy"!  There's nothing big about me,
nowhere, all pretty average, and I don't mean that average you find on
Nifty or ASSGM.  There was no need to apologize, btw.  Probably I didn't
make myself very clear.  You can call me 'sweet boy' anytime.  But only
you.  Please do.

So.  You say there's nothing lovable or attractive about you.  If you
really think so, you'll never believe me when I tell you otherwise.

And here I thought I was the one with the insecurities, and Evan the one
with the "I'm not worth it" moods.  Remember what Patrick then threatens
him with?  If I ever get my hands on you, baby, you will see that there are
methods more subtle.

God damn, Tim!  You're neither blind nor stupid, so why the hell don't you
see the light?  What can I do to knock some sense into that thick skull of
yours?

Yes, I love you, I do!  I'm crazy for you, hot for you and hard for you
more often than not.  When I read your stories, your letters, when I'm
thinking of you, which I do all the time, I'm hard with wanting you.  Do
you know that I keep these hardons for you, as long as I can stand it?.
And when I finally succumb to my longing, it's your name I whisper to every
stroke of my hand, and it's your name I shout when I come.

Would you let me go thirsty, because you thought that you had only water to
offer, not wine?

I'm sorry, if this is not what you wanted to hear.  Maybe I'm just not what
you need.  Maybe I can't offer the right things.  I, too, am afraid of
disappointing you.  Do we need this ocean between us?  To have you, and
have you not - what a fine mix of heaven and hell!

I love the song you sent.  Thank you , baby.

You've got a friend, too.

--Tom


				   * * *


Tim, baby

I feel like I've been pushing too hard.  I'm sorry for that.  It's because
I can't bear seeing you selling yourself so short.  And it's because I want
you so much.

You're afraid you won't be able to live up to my expectations.  I can
understand that.  I do have a high opinion of you.

It's the way you love me, baby.  No one loves me like you do, no one ever
did.  I was not what I am now, till you saw it in me.  I wanted to be good,
because you said I could be it.  I wrote the things for you, because you
encouraged me.

You know that getting something posted or even being mentioned in a
foreword, were my fondest dreams.  Now, that that's happened, I realize
that what I really enjoy is working on the stories together with you.  I
don't want any credits.  If you tell me I did okay I'm perfectly happy.  If
you tell me how I can improve I'll try to be worth the trouble.

I never dreamt I'd meet someone like you.  As I said before, I'll gladly
take anything you're willing to offer.  You've already made me happier than
I ever thought I could be.

Tommy


				   * * *


Studly,

You and I have been beating ourselves up too much.  Let's take a deep
breath and start over.

I love your mind.  You are at once analytical and imaginative.  You are the
editor everyone dreams of, patient and thorough.  You write, I think, with
more creativity and flair than I do.

>From all our email exchanges, I know that you are generous, open-hearted,
such a very sweet guy!

Tommy, I haven't seen you, and you haven't seen me.  Unless you've been
lying to me, and I don't believe that for a moment, I am going to find you
irresistble when we do finally meet.  Meanwhile, little brother (even if
you're taller than me, I can pull the age thing), know that I do love you.
I'm immensely touched that you say you love me.

Let's just be happy in that.  I'm just finishing up the chapter in which my
namesake and Cedric do finally convince each other of the solidity of their
love.  I'm looking forward to the time when you and I can physically claim
each other.  Meanwhile, remember that we are in each other's lives and
hearts.  As our friend Patrick says, "Get used to it!"

I love you, pup.

Tim

P.S.  I'm attaching a pic that shows Trey as he appeared in my dream.


				   * * *


Hi Red Hot,

Or should I say "Hot Red?"

You're so right, baby, I've been beating myself a lot these days <G>, which
is entirely your fault!

So I'm the editor everyone dreams of?  You're the author I dream of!
You've got such a warped imagination - I'll have to make a list of all the
things I want you to do to me!  This foot-thing in the tub, for example,
sounds delicious.

I love to see Tim so horny.  Boy, can I empathize with him!  Tell me,
Timmy, do you really wear silk boxers?  Ever since you mentioned them first
in - was it ch. 5? - I can't help imagining how I touch and caress you
through the silk.  Jeez!  Here I go again!

Ced has such a nice and loving family, and rather well-to-do, too.  No
wonder that he's so confident and open.  I suppose we will see quite a
contrast when it comes to Trey's family.  Didn't you say they were rather
rich folks, but they don't care shit for him?

The pic of Trey was great.  Very sexy.  I don't look much like that, except
for the color of that guy's hair.  That's mine alright.  But I'm a little
less packed than he is.

The scene with Francis and Rodney really shows a multi-facetted Tim.  At
first the blushing bride, then the uninhibited dancer, then the charging
lion.  He doesn't have to worry about living up to Francis at all, if you
ask me!

Seeing Ced and Tim interact gives me always a warm feeling, they're so
caring and loving with each other.  I know that someone who writes such
scenes must be the sweetest guy ever, baby!

And he's mine!

--Tom

				   * * *


Hey babe,

You know, I've taken to printing out your emails so I can have a hard copy
in front of me (not the only thing in front of me that's hard) as I write
you.  Your letters are always full of things I want to respond to.

Evan and Di say Trey is their favorite character.  Could it be that Di
loves him because he reminds her of you?  You will learn more about Trey's
family in the next chapter, which will be 15.  Your chapter, Chaz's
journal, will now become ch. 16.  You might want to make that change in
your computer file.  BTW, stud, Trey is pretty even-tempered.  Is that
something you should work on?

I, too, love the relationship between Cedric and Tim.  It helps that Ced
shares Tim's love of literature and that he's so articulate.  I love Ced's
playfulness, his ability to become instantly one of several different
personae when he's with Tim.  And he brings out Tim's playfulness, too.
Wish we could be together.  Would you be my Cedric?

With the holiday coming up, I decided to send ch. 6 to Nifty today.  I
thought it might take more time than usual to get it posted.  But then, our
readers may be stuffing themselves with turkey and pumpkin pie instead of
reading, too.

Now I must send chapter 7 to the growing list of guys who expect to be kept
one chapter ahead of what's posted.

Looking back over your letter, I see that I failed to mention the silk
boxers.  As I recall, Tim says in ch. 1 that that is what he was wearing,
and that the cum soaked through them very quickly to make the spot in the
front of his khakis.  I have only one pair.  They feel great, but you have
to be careful not to put them into hot water.

Speaking of silk, I still get moist when I think of David in his silk
turquoise harem pants.

Gotta run, lover.

Remember there's a difference between having fun with your pole and
flagellating yourself.

Love you,

Tim

P.S. Remind me to comment on the nickname "Red" sometime.


				   * * *


Hi Tom, studly,

Thanks so much for sending the pic.  Typically, you misled me about your
looks.  You take my breath away!  The blond hair and that beautiful,
(forgive me!) boyish skin are so sexy.  You and I have two things in common
that I hadn't thought of: we both have green eyes, and we both look younger
than we are.  I've printed out that picture on photo paper and plan to
frame it and put it by my bedside table.  I think you can imagine what I'll
often be doing as I lie there looking at it.

Nifty posted chapter 6 of our story overnight, and I've already received an
email from a nice guy named Fred who said he's read the whole six chapters
and loved them.  It's too bad you don't get to read the fan mail the story
has generated.  I'd forward them to you, but I think it might breach the
confidentiality of the writers, so I'd better not.  Patrick read chapter 13
yesterday and was kind enough to say good things about it.  I'll send him,
Evan, and Ash copies of 14 soon.  It took me forever to get the last scene
(Ced and Tim in bed) of 14 written.  Kept being interrupted.

I thought when I finished chapter 14 that I really needed a break from this
story and that I wouldn't do any more writing for a while.  But my head is
full of ideas for chapter 15, so I suspect I'll get started drafting at the
beginning of next week.

I'll be with some aunts and cousins and their families for the big
Thanksgiving food orgy tomorrow, but I'll be thinking of you, sexy.  And
now that I have that picture, I'll know what a great-looking dude you are.
Can Junior get any harder?

Love,

Tim

P.S.  Got a first look at Ash's chapter 4 yesterday.  He sent it to me for
editing.  It's very tender, as usual.  I'm sure you'll love it.

T.

				   * * *


Hi Tim, my man,

Glad you liked the pic.  Di says I look like Brad Pitt in it, so I suppose
I am good-looking.  Believe me, often I have wished I was not.  Now I don't
mind, as long as you like it.

BTW, what's that about my temper?  Has Di been talking?  Okay, so I'm not
that even-tempered, but, hey, I'm no choleric, either! Just a passionate
guy!  Sometimes I've got to let off a little bit of steam, is all.  Maybe
then I'll take my bike for a ride through some hollow lands and hilly lands
(hey, a big wet one with lotsa tongue if you know the poet!), or I go
dancing, or it's Iron Maiden with me singing along, which everybody dreads
most, 'cause I can't sing at all...

David in those pants was one of my better ideas, I agree.  What really gets
me going, though, is the thought of you in your silk boxers.  Baby, you
gotta buy some more of them, I wanna make you soak a pair every day!
Imagine us two, having lunch somewhere fancy.  It won't take much to get
you going.  My foot, caressing you under the table, some words whispered
over the candle, me, eating juicy fruits...  Yes, I'll be your Ced, if
you'll have me!

It's generous of you to call Dr. Tim our story, but it doesn't fit the
facts, dear.  I'd love to read the feedback you get, but you're right in
not forwarding it.  Maybe you can tell me a bit once in a while, without
saying who said what.

Funny, how people kept interrupting you while you were writing the
love-scene.  I guess, I did, too.  Hell, sometimes I'm jealous of Ced!
Stupid, I know!  But I can't help it.  He has his Tim!.  And you, you
probably get hard and leaky writing these scenes!  And I, when I read them!

Baby, you've got the sexiest mind!

And I, I've got turquoise silk pants...

...for you to enjoy!

--Tom


				   * * *


Hey, Hot Stuff,

I've been listening to/watching a Josh Groban concert on tv.  As Ced would
say, he's "majorly cute."  And he has a great voice, too.

I've been feeling bad that I didn't answer your letter of 2/22 as fully as
it deserves.  Such a beautifull letter it was.  And now there's another,
equally beautiful.  I hope you won't mind if I respond to the spirit of
those letters rather than to specific points.

First of all, I have to remind you of what you already know.  I have a
life-long committment to The Pride.  Evan, Patrick, and Ash are my
brothers, except that with us, there's no problem of incest.  There is no
jealousy in The Pride.  We understand that any sexual contact amongst us in
no way diminishes the love we four have for one another.  If you take me
on, you have to understand that.

Having said that, I hope you will take me on.

Why do I feel so much older than you?  Perhaps it's because you're so
intense, so impetuous.  You must never doubt, my love, that I know you are
a man, and, yes, you can revel in being bigger and stronger than me.  Have
me at your mercy!  I want you to claim me.  I want to feel you inside me,
Tommy.  I need that.

Then, but only when you want me to, I can take control, exert whatever
power it is I have over you.  We must have a mutual giving, a sharing,
don't you think?  I can do that.  I WILL go there with you.

I'll even buy more silk boxers to wear for you, if you'll wear those sexy,
clinging turquoise silk pants for me.

When we meet, you'll see no fear in my eyes.  Just love and trust, sweet
man, just love and trust.

I am

your Tim


				   * * *


(Wow!  Finally!  I started to think he'd never come around!  Was that hard
or what?!  Everybody who's made it down here, you've just earned yourself a
hot chocolate!  Or a cold Bud, whatever's more convenient for you!  Thanks
for reading!  -Tom)