Date: Thu, 25 Oct 2012 12:57:33 +0000
From: Bill Drake <billdrake@hotmail.com>
Subject: White Collar Tales 15: Birthday Comes Early

White Collar Tales
Bill Drake (billdrake@hotmail.com)

WARNING: The following is for adults only. It contains depiction of sexual
acts between men. If this offends you or is inappropriate for you to read,
go no further.

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Another white collar story. Comments or story suggestions to
billdrake@hotmail.com. For more of my stories, check out the Authors page
of Nifty, or join my Yahoo group:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/drakestories/


White Collar Tales #15
Birthday Present Comes Early

It all started with those monthly poker games. Four coworkers holing up in
a downtown hotel room, getting drunk and spending half the weekend playing
cards and betting too much money. I usually lost a couple hundred, but it
was worth it for a chance to experience some good old fashioned guy time
and get away from the fiance. I had a feeling that poker weekends were
gonna be an endangered species after I got married.

That Saturday we were talking about pussy. The usual, I guess. Only the
conversation took an unexpected turn.

"You know, fellas, I got a birthday coming up." It was Ed Macallister, one
of the sales guys.

My boss, Greg Reilly cocked his eyebrow, but otherwise kept his poker face
intact. "Yeah? You expecting a party from us or something?"

Ed punched Greg in the shoulder playfully. "No, fucker, my wife's gonna be
giving the party."

"We invited, Mac?" Jones' blue eyes peered up. The man was in his mid 30s
and his chestnut-brown hair thinning fast. Still, with his patrician nose,
blond-dusted eyebrows, and Nantucket tan, he looked like a freakin' J Crew
model.

"Not that kind of party." Grinning like the Cheshire Cat.

I couldn't resist a wisecrack. "Don't tell me you're only getting laid once
a year, Mac."

The men laughed.

"No wiseguy. I'm talking blowjobs. Karen fucking hates giving em. I get
blown exactly twice a year. Once at Christmas..."

"The other one for your birthday," Reilly finished his sentence. "Yeah,
I've been on that installment plan myself. Only, I've managed to work in
Father's Day, too," he laughed. We laughed along.

We quieted down and played our hand. Then, Jeff Jones added out of
nowhere. "I get a special birthday present from Ellen."

Ed took the bait. "Something besides head?"

"Something besides head."

"Didn't know you were into the kinky shit, Jones." My boss was dealing
another hand, happy at the growing pot at his corner of the table.

"Nothing kinky," Jeff retorted. "Not really. It's just once a year, she'll
toss my salad."

"You mean?" The look on Macallister's face was preciseless, like he was
smelling rotting cabbage.

"Yep. Rimming. Buttmunching. Holelicking. Analingus. Whatever you want to
call it."

"Gross." My boss clearly didn't like the idea much better.

"Don't knock it til you try it, fellas. It's amazing. Makes me shoot off
big everytime."

Ed was unconvinced. "Next you're gonna be telling us it's better than
pussy."

Jones paused and looked around the table, fixing each of us in the
eye. "Yeah, it's better than pussy."

"Fuck that!" Greg shook his head.

"I'm with Jones," I finally spoke up, tossing down my bet. "Had a
girlfriend in college who'd do that shit. Felt fan-fucking-tastic." The men
weren't expecting that. I had the reputation as the do-gooder, button-down
guy in the bunch.

"See, fellas. Connelly knows where it's at." Then looking at me he asked,
"Your fiance treat you from time to time, Matt?"

I shook my head no. "Asked her once and it kinda freaked her out. Learned
my lesson, man."

Greg folded his cards. "Yeah, I can't imagine asking Wendy to eat my ass
out!"

"Me neither. I'm not crazy."

"Thought the idea turned you off, Mac?" I teased.

"Well, you and Jeffy here are making out like it's the best thing since
sliced bread.  'Better than pussy'.... Shit!"

"Maybe it's not everyone's thing," I conceded. "But you know... there are
times I still beat off thinking about that college girlfriend."

That quieted the bunch. They may not all be turned on by having their
buttholes licked, but if there's anything universal in a man's experience
it's the Great Lay That Got Away. That wild girl you date and know it's not
gonna be serious. That one who gives you the best sex you've ever had and
ever will have. Each of us got lost in our trips down memory lane, til the
conversation turned to sports.


I hadn't given that day or its conversation too much thought til a few
weeks later I was enjoying happy hour. A few pints, some harmless flirting
with the twentysomething office girls, maybe a game of pool.

Jenny Corbin was flirtily leaning against the bar rail, dropping innuendoes
left and right, and I was flirting right back at her. Til a host of
twentysomething guys walked into the place and she had to go "freshen her
drink."

A sympathetic hand slapped my shoulder. Reg Jones. "That's how the cookie
crumbles, buddy. They'll flirt with us married guys til the available ones
come along."

"I'm not married. I'm engaged," I grumbled.

"Same thing. You're taken buddy. You're just a tall piece of meat for those
chicks to practice their routine with."

I looked across the bar and saw Jenny batting her eyelashes at one of the
new, younger single men. Reg was right.

"Look, Matt, I wanted to catch you alone at some point. Make sure I didn't
freak you out the other week at our poker game."

"Freak me out?" I didn't know what he was referring to.

"Yeah. Talking about assrimmming." I had to say I still got a kick hearing
this well-mannered blue-blooder talk about sex so forthrightly.

I laughed and shrugged. "Didn't bother me. Can't speak for the other guys,
though."

He nodded. "Yeah, guess Reilly and Macallister were the ones a little
freaked out."

"Ah, they just don't know what they're missing."

Reg looked at me, smiled and clinked my beer with his. "Damn straight."

He pulled a long sip then asked. "So... how long has it been since your
wild college girlfriend."

"Man... I don't know. Ten years I guess."

"How long has it been since your last rimjob?"

"Ten years." I didn't have to stop to do the math. "Yeah, and I know you
got one for your birthday, so don't rub it in."

"My birthday's in June, but I got my ass eaten out just this last week," he
said with a cagey expression.

"Yeah? You convince Ellen somehow?"

"Nah," he answered. "You gotta promise me you're not going to freak out
when I tell you, Connelly." I was a little nervous where the conversation
was heading. Guys can talk about chasing pussy all they wanted, but
stepping out on the wife was something else. I knew and liked Ellen. I'd
met Reg's kids. I didn't want to see a blossoming divorce.

Still, I was curious. "Promise."

"It was a guy."

"Fuck, man, you're joking!" I blurted out. I felt taken, like I'd been
reeled into the punchline of one of Reg's jokes.

Only he wasn't laughing. "I'm serious, bud. I didn't plan it or go out
looking, but I found out that there are guys who fucking love eating
ass. You don't have to do anything in return, just drop trou and bend over
and they go to work. Fuck, I think they get off on it."

"So, what, did you hang around Boystown with a sign?" My voice was a mix of
hostility and incredulity.

If Reg noticed the barb, he ignored it. "Nah, that's the craziest
thing. It's my doctor. General fucking practitioner."

"Shit!" I exclaimed. I was starting to believe Reg. The story was too crazy
to be one of his jokes.

"Yeah, right? I don't even remember how it all started but I was stomach on
the examining table and suddenly I feel the most amazing tonguework on my
pucker. I came twice that visit." He was still smiling at the memory.

"Wow." I wasn't sure how to react. Part of me was turned on, part of me was
a little freaked out. Reg was basically confessing to gay sex, however he
justified it.

"Anyway, if you want, I can give you his name, even drop in a special
referral with the doc, if you know what I mean."

"'s all right, Reg." Polite, but still a little indignant. The man could
get his jollies how he liked but I wasn't gonna let a guy lick my hole.



Only I thought about it. A lot. I lay back in bed and ran a spit-slicked
finger around the rim of my hole. I thought about my college girlfriend and
the fountain-spray cums I'd jizz while she licked me out. I pictured Jenny
Corbin's pert face buried in my crack. I tracked down seemingly every
online porn site devoted to salad-tossing. I looked for the ones of
big-breasted, pouty-lipped porn starlets submissively eating out a man's
craphole, but came across some man-on-man pix too. They were a bit of a
turn off, but not as repulsive as I'd expected them to be. I stared at the
sight, wondering what it was like. Did it feel different when a guy did it
to you? It's not as if you have to see him do it, I surmised.

I think I surprised Reg when a few days later I stopped by his office. He
was talking with Reilly and another coworker. "Say, Reg, I thought I'd take
your advice and switch doctors. Mine's not doing it for me." I thought I'd
be cheeky and add the double entendre. "You still recommend yours?"

Jones blushed a little but nodded. "Yeah, he's great. I'll send you the
info, Connelly."

The receptionist told me Dr. Felder wasn't taking new patients then, but I
mentioned Reg's referral and she told me she would check with the doctor
and get back to me. That afternoon, she called back and confirmed an
appointment for the next day.


I was nervous walking into that office.  Partly because I was even
contemplating letting a man lick my hole. Partly because I still was
expecting someone, I don't know, a little feminine, maybe a slight older
man. Dr. Daniel Felder, though, looked like a goddamn pharmaceutical-ad
doctor: trim medium build, tall, dark brown hair, graying temples,
green-grey eyes, tan but young face with slight dimples and square jaw,
friendly but all-business. His voice was deep, his handshake
firm. "Mr. Connelly? Dr. Felder."

"Thanks for fitting me in," I answered. Fuck, there was no way this guy was
a fairy. This had to be one of Reg's practical jokes. He was even wearing a
shiny silver wedding band. I couldn't help but notice how big his hands
were... thick fingers covered in small dark hairs.


"Well, Reg Jones is one of my best patients," the doctor said with a
twinkle in his eyes. "He gave me a call and told me I should see you if I
could fit you in." He wasn't letting go of my hand til a good two extra
seconds had passed. Those eyes seemed to bore into me, questioning me.

Was he coming on to me? How would I know? This whole thing was weird. "Glad
you could, doctor." I nervously my seat down on the paper-covered
examination table and fidgeted with my tie.

He flipped open my file and started perusing the record. "Your medical
history is pretty enviable, Mr. Connelly. Have you had any problems
lately?"

"No, just thought I needed my annual checkup."

The doctor nodded and paused a second to look into my eyes. I felt my heart
skip a beat. Hell, I felt HIS heart skip a beat. Yeah, this guy's into me,
all right, I thought with a shudder. I guess in my mind, we'd go straight
from preliminaries to the sex, but now that I was there, now that the
doctor wasn't making any moves, I didn't think I could do it. There was no
way I could take the initiative in this.

The doctor for his part started a routine checkup, taking my blood pressure
and listening my heart beat. As he leaned in closer to me I could smell his
cologne and feel his presence. I had to admit I was getting a little turned
on. I kept thinking how this guy was the very kind of man women would be
knocking each over to try to catch. If I had to do it with a guy, I
couldn't do better, I surmised.

He assured me all was fine, but maybe we should be safe and do a follow up
next month for some blood work. Finally, point blank he asked, "Ever had a
prostate exam, Mr. Connelly?"

Fuck! I didn't know what to say. "No. I'm a little young for prostate
cancer, I thought."

He nodded but didn't change his intense facial expression. "You are. Still,
I thought it wouldn't hurt to check you out. Whaddya say?"

I could detect the hint of a smile as I stood up and began unbuckling my
belt and pushing my suitpants and underwear down to my knees. I bent
forward, placing my elbows on the padded table. "This good?" I asked the
doctor.

"Perfect," he answered, crouching down. I didn't notice him pull out any
latex gloves or lubricant.

My heart was pounding like crazy. What the fuck was I doing? I was about to
hike my trousers back up and high tail it out of there.

Then I felt it. First the flutter of his heavy breath against my backside,
a warm breeze against my buried pucker. It felt good, soothing. But not as
good as the contact of his flesh against mine, his face pressing forward
against the brawn of my buttcheeks. Then his wet kisses, seeking deeper
into my crack. Fuck, he was doing it all right!

"Oh!" I moaned involuntarily, then bit my finger. My fiance always joked
about how much I moaned during sex, but I wasn't sure a doctor's office was
the best place to let loose. Besides I didn't want the doc to know much I
was enjoying what he was doing to me: the tickle of his tonguetip against
my pucker folds, the lapping at my asshairs, the circular motion and soft
sucking. I don't know where he learned his technique, but it put my wild
college girlfriend to shame. I was boned hard and dripping all over the
paper, all over my shirttails.

Then he started. Gentle prods of his tongue pushing against my bunghole,
becoming ever more insistent, coaxing me open, battering my resistance down
like a wide drill bit. I hadn't gotten an up-close look at Felder's tongue,
but now it felt like the widest fattest tongue in the world. That he was
shoving that fat organ into my tight hole made for an incredible
experience.

Finally, the oral muscle wedged in and I felt an insane length snake inside
and start going to town. Drilling, licking, exploring. "Fuck!" I cried
quietly and gripped the table. Without my ability to control it, my prick
seized and fired thick, hot jets of semen all over the examination table.

It was incredible orgasm. As Jones would say, better than pussy. As I came
to, I felt the doc's face still buried deep in my butt, munching away. I
could tell he was flogging away and entering his own ejaculatory
phase. Fuck, this guy really got off on eating butt!

I was a little embarrassed when it was all over, but Felder was cool as a
cucumber, stuffing his junk back in and smoothing down his shirt, wiping
off his face with a wetnap.

"Well, Mr. Connelly, everything seems in working order. If you need a
follow up just call us. I'll tell Linda to fit you in whenever you need to
drop by."

I wasn't sure I was up for a repeat visit. Hell, I'd just made it with
another guy! It was strictly one-way, to be sure, but fuck! Asslicking! I
felt a little ashamed. I was hoping Jones could keep a secret.

Nervously I thanked the doctor and let his office confused, but satisfied.



Later that week Reg Jones popped his head into my office.

"So... Connelly... how was it?" He shut the door behind him and plopped
himself in one of the office chairs.

Someone needs to write about the stages of sexual desire. Cause by now the
guilt had given away to other phases: reliving the experience in my mind,
then wanting it again.

I smiled, leaning back in my seat contentedly. "In-fucking-credible,
Jones."

That made Reg smile back and nod. "Better than a chick, right?"

"You're not kidding. That guy's pretty intense. I can't believe he doing
that shit, but...."

"But it got you off?"

"Big time!"

Reg paused then got past his hesitation. "He do the deep-drill on ya?"

I nodded. "I didn't know they made tongues that long."

"That's some maneuver. Sometimes, though, I like it when he just does his
around-the-world trick."

"Round the world?"

"Just circling your hole over and over, faster and faster until you nut."

"Oh man."

"Yeah."

"How often you go?" Already I was planning for a follow up visit. This
conversation was making me want one right now.

"Every three weeks. Can't justify it more often. You're going back aren't
you Connelly?"

"What do you think?"


So I become one of Felder's regulars. I don't think I realized just how
regularly I was getting my nuts drained til the doc went on vacation. "I'm
sorry," his secretary informed me, "the doctor won't have any available
times until November."

I was feeling strung up high and dry. Sure there was sex with the
fiance. But between our work schedules we mostly saw each other on the
weekends. And it lacked that pure, sexual intensity I'd come to love from
Dr. Felder's asseating sessions. Even the five-minute quickies left me
satisfied, like I'd just spent the day in a sex marathon. The times I was
lucky enough to score a twenty-minute appointment were heaven.

As luck would have it I even had to cancel my November appointment on
account of business travel. A sales call to Dallas. Jones was on that trip,
too, and after our salesperson Gina called in early for the evening, it was
just Reg and me alone at the hotel bar.

"So," he asked me in the middle of a conversation lull. "When was your last
session with Felder?"

"Dunno, two, maybe three months. Fuck, Jones, I'm about going insane." My
third whiskey was down to the dregs, and his was too.

"You and me both, buddy." He looked down at his drink. "Ready to call it a
night, Connelly?"

"Sure thing."

We were walking down the hotel hallway to our rooms when Reg stopped me
with a gentle tug of the arm. "Listen, Matt..." his speech was a little
loose from the alcohol. "Tell me if I'm out of line here, but..."

Christ, he was not gonna, was he? Jones was a pretty straight arrow, and I
couldn't believe he would suggest was he was about to suggest.

"... well, you're hard up and I'm hard up, and I was thinking, you know,
maybe we could help each other out."

"I dunno, Reg. I mean, what we both like.... I don't know if I could do
it."

"Lick another guy's ass? Eat him out?" He was buzzed all right. Like I said
it was odd to hear this blueblood talk like a port sailor.

"Yeah that."

"It freaks me out too, buddy. But maybe if we take turns we can do it. Or
at least watch some hotel porn...."

I couldn't muster the courage to say yes, but as Jones turned to open his
room door, I followed in.

Slowly, quietly, we removed our suits, our shirt, our underwear. It was a
little weird undressing for another guy, especially a coworker like Reg,
but at least he wasn't a slouch. Apparently the same thoughts were in his
head. "You keep in pretty good shape, Connelly."

I patted my six pack and smirked. "Read 'em and weep Connelly." He was a
healthy, well-built man, but marriage has put some padding on his middle.
We both chuckled, then got serious. "So," I cut in. "How we do this?"

Reg shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know Matt. I hadn't planned this far."

We were both soft and standing there awkwardly facing one another.

An idea occurred to me. "I got it." Plopping down on the bed, I motioned to
Reg. "You face the other direction." He got down and we were in a 69
position. I looked past his cut cock and hairy nutsac. Grabbing his legs I
spread the thighs apart til the perineum then the blond hairy crack were in
view. Jones had a thick hairy trench, all right.

I felt my coworker do the same to me. He was leaning in, I could tell,
cause his breath was on my hole. It reminded me of my first time with
Felder. I know my cock was starting to respond now.

"All right, why don't we take turns telling the other what we liked about
Felder eating us out." I looked forward in hestitation. A grown man's
ass. It was now or never. "OK?" I asked.

"Yeah, sure."

"You start."

"Well, I love how Dan makes love to my hole. Kisses it like he's kissing a
woman on the lips, only it's my hole that he's kissing. Wet smooches at
first, then starts slipping his tongue out to make contact. Not too much at
first, but then more as he gets confident that I want it."

As Reg is talking I start. Doing what he's describing. What the doctor
did. Making love to his exposed hairy pucker. I kiss it gently, repeatedly,
and feel the anus quiver at the touch of my lips. Fuck, this is intense. I
give more, fervent heavy kisses. Then tongue. This is the first time I'm
licking a man's hole, and all I'm feeling is one heavy rush. Reg is urging
me on, telling me what Doc did, telling me to do it, too. I am.

Finally, I pull back and wipe the spit and muskiness from my mouth.

"How was that buddy?" I ask.

"Don't get offended Connelly, but you're as good as our doctor friend."

"Glad to hear," I answer, genuinely satisfied at a job well done. "OK, my
turn."

I feel Reg position his face back between my spread thighs, right at my
spread crack.

"I love it when Felder parts my cheeks wide then spits right on my hole,
repeatedly. Then dives in and starts tonguing the saliva straight into me.

I sense Reg's hesitation. But then he does it. Just like I describe. I
wonder if Doc did that with him, too. Probably did. Cause Reg is now aping
the doctor's technique flawless, rough, hot spit projectiles on my winking
rosebud, followed by quick jackhammer tongue thrusts against my shitter. My
prick was bonehard now.

My coworker pulls back and adds, "I also love it when Dan licks me in
random intervals, keeping me guessing when the next lick is gonna be." I
start doing as instructed and Reg goes back to eating me out, now with a
deep, regular licking motion.

We were in a regular rim 69 now, ass-munching at both ends and loving
it. The wet tongue sensations felt amazing on my ass, but I was also
grooving on the feel of my cock rubbing against Reg's hairy chest. It
started with a drip, then an ooze, and soon my ejaculation was painting my
Reg's toroso. Jones was cumming too, spurting his sauce on me while his
butt cheeks clenched against my face and his hole dilated wildly around my
tongue. If I didn't think I liked licking hole, that sensation alone was
enough to make an addict.

Reg, too, apparently. As we disentangled and lay side by side on that hotel
bed, my WASPy coworker sighed. "Fuck, man, what do we need Felder for?"

I started laughing. "I don't know buddy."

Then, like a kid with a new toy, I looked down at Reg's cum-streaked
body. Making my way down the bed, I crouched between his legs and lifted
his thighs. Pale white skin on his legs disappeared by the blonde thicket
of his crack. Just a telltale opening where his manhole was. I dove in. And
licked like crazy.

"Ah, eat me, man," Jones's deep mellifluous voice cried out.

That and the firm hand pushing against the top of my head told me I was on
the right track to a new friendship.