Date: Sun, 24 Jun 2012 09:23:27 -0400
From: Chris Johns <chris-johns@hotmail.com>
Subject: A Total Madness Pt.2

			      A TOTAL MADNESS
				  Part 2

The next few weeks saw me settling into a family unit, all be it a weird
one. It took me a while not to feel embarrassed around Angie and to feel
comfortable with Romeo wrapping himself round me when we were sat
together. He appeared to have no inhibitions at all showing me how much he
loved me even around his mother. I had never been happier and patently
neither had Romeo. Angie made me feel guilty one day, but only the once.

"One of my girlfriends is like me, she can't find the right man to
marry. She says all the decent looking guys, all the caring ones, are
either taken or gay. I found out the same thing, and now have to put up
with the best one of all being my son's lover."

I blushed while Angie and Romeo laughed. That was the last time though. We
returned to being the weird family unit we had been for years with the
difference that I slept in Romeo's bed every night. Neat really, everyone
at work had grown used to me being Angie's boyfriend and Romeo's de facto
step father. I had always shown him a lot of affection, even in public so
no one thought it was odd that I still gave him a hug sometimes and even
kissed his cheek. They would, I'm sure, have been shocked if they had known
the truth.

I couldn't imagine anything better for me as we got used to each other in
our new roles. I had credibility as a family man with my bosses. I had a
girl to parade at all the social functions I needed to attend and I had a
son who I could do things with in public, no one knowing that he was
actually my lover. The little toerag played along with the subterfuge by
calling me dad when it was appropriate. Being affectionate to Angie was
easy as well, hell after so many years it ought to be.

There didn't appear to be a cloud on our horizon so when one appeared it
shook us. Routine company medical and Angie was diagnosed with cancer, not
far advanced so the prognosis was good. That didn't matter to us, what
mattered was this invasion of a monster into our happy world. Romeo and I
lost the ability to relax. Around Angie we were monumentally solicitous and
caring and couldn't understand her casual attitude. She was constantly
laughing at us.

"I'm not an invalid you two so cut it out. I can still function."

We knew that, she continued to work but the chemo did let us know, she lost
all her hair, but still didn't worry, she just bought wigs and had fun
suiting her hair colour to the clothes she was wearing. What a wife she
would have made to some lucky guy if one good enough for her had ever come
along.

The prognosis was wrong, Romeo was just finishing up finals before going to
college when the bomb dropped. The chemo hadn't worked, the cancer was too
virulent. `So sorry, life expectancy now only three months'. We were
shattered Romeo cried himself to sleep in my arms every night. I tried to
hold it all together for both of them. My soul mate was so brave she went
downhill physically, very quickly, soon requiring a nurse to look after her
while Romeo and I tried to get on with some semblance of normal lives. She
wouldn't let either of us stop doing normal things.

"You will go to work every day Jed, I don't want you moping around me, and
the same thing applies to you Romeo. You will go out with your mates and do
what you do every summer."

The morphine dose increased almost in direct proportion to her weight
loss. The medics were wrong again. She put up one hell of a fight but
within six weeks she looked like a skeleton. It was almost impossible for
Romeo to look at her without bursting into tears. The end came one evening
while we were sitting with her. She had been unable to speak for a couple
of days but in a voice as clear as her old normal self she looked at both
of us, took our hands in hers and said, "I'm sorry I've been so much
trouble. I love you both so much, now promise you'll be good to each
other."

We both nodded and my tears at last came in buckets. I knew she was going
and a minute later I heard the death rattle and her hands dropped from
ours. Romeo threw himself onto her screaming that she couldn't leave
him. Through the sobs and the screams of anguish he told her what I already
knew. She had been an incredible mum, which was why my lover was such a
total delight to be around.

The next week was a never ending nightmare. I was trying to organise a
funeral around a boy that had come apart completely, a boy that I would
willingly die for. When the day came to bury her we were amazed at the
turnout. Every one of our colleagues was there and most of Romeo's friends
and their parents. I had no idea that Angie's popularity spread that
wide. Romeo had to be carried to the grave side by me and a colleague and
afterwards he was put straight to bed and sedated.

"What are you going to do about Romeo now that Angie is dead."

One of my managers asked me while we were drinking in the house afterwards.

I didn't see where he was coming from.

"Be here for him of course, and try to have him in a fit state to go to
college in the fall. Why?"

"Well, he's not your responsibility now is he?"

I nearly hit him until my brain kicked in and I realised no one knew about
us. I just laughed.

"Oh Tom, you haven't a clue have you. I'm a gay man and Romeo is my
lover. I'm going to look after him forever, the same as I've done since he
was five."

I think everyone heard. That was my cover blown and I didn't give a
damn. No one said anything but the house cleared soon after.

My life's work now was in our bedroom and he was priority one.

I didn't go into work the next week, I just spent my time with Romeo
bringing him back into our world. I was so pleased we had each other. It
was hard for me, but for him it was heart rending. We walked a lot, we
regressed as well, going to the park and playing like we had when he was a
kid. Being in the house was the big ball buster. Everything shrieked of
Angie. I was pleased now that I had kept my own pad. It was empty at the
moment so I asked Romeo if he would like to move there. His eyes showed me
how he felt at that suggestion. He wanted away from everything that
reminded him of his mum.

I cleared another week off from work and Romeo and I moved to my bachelor
pad. I had bought the apartment with the money I made from a software
programme I had developed for a leading bank. That had catapulted me into
my present job as well. No mortgage so I was in a good position
financially.

We saw Angie's attorney for the reading of her will. She had, of course,
left everything in trust for Romeo with me as trustee to use the money as I
felt necessary until he was 21.

The next week I felt Romeo was okay to leave for a half day so I went in in
the morning arranging to meet him for lunch downtown at my offices.

My reception was icy. Tom told me that it wasn't the fact that I was gay,
it was having Romeo as my lover. They imagined I had been abusing him when
he was still a minor. I laughed and sat him down to tell him the story of
Angie, Romeo and me. He was enthralled.

"I won't remain here under a cloud of contempt, Tom. How do you feel about
taking my job?"

He looked surprised.

"I'd love it, Jed, but I'm not sure I'm good enough yet."

I laughed, "Well you'll just have to grow into it. I'll stay for the rest
of this week but no longer. I'll go and see the boss now and clear you into
the roll as acting director of IT then you can make the moves to make sure
you keep it. I'll support your application."

He was delighted and by the end of the week I had him in a position to take
over without making any waves. I found out later he had got the job
permanently when it was advertised.

I gave Romeo the opportunity to leave the area completely if it had too
many memories for him.

"No, Jed, this is my home, all my friends are here. I have nothing but good
memories of my life in this town, until mum got ill. I know I have to get
over it, and I will because I have the love of a good man who loved my mum
as well."

That was it. We had a good cry on each other's shoulders and the tears
began the healing process. I would miss Angie almost as much as Romeo
would. She had been my only true friend of my own age after I left
college. We would both have a huge empty hole in our hearts that no one
would ever fill again, but we did have the great love of each other.

Romeo went off to college with a new sports car I had bought him. I then
looked at what I was going to do with the remainder of my life. I had to
look at my assets. I was 34 years old, I had a good degree in Computer
Science, a record of accomplishment that wouldn't hurt me. My head for
design was my biggest asset I thought. I now needed to tout my skills
around a few mega companies to see if they wanted new programmes for the
continued improvement of their company. It worked. I was a better bet than
an outside consultancy and software company because I was one salary with
one fixed job. With the recommend of the bank whose programme had made me
relatively well off I walked into a new job on a better salary than my
director's job. I didn't pull any punches, when I was offered the job I
told them I was gay and if that was a problem I would understand. The
director of personnel just laughed.

"Jed, you would be close to an exception in your department if you
weren't. Almost all our computer wizards are gay, including the VP in
charge of development. Shall we go and meet him now and you can take up
your post when you are ready."

I had the feeling I was going to be happy here. Being an openly gay man was
going to be fun. I hadn't worried about being in the closet with Angie
around, but now it was necessary for me to be me.

The programme I started to develop had my boss exhilarated. I showed him
quite early where I was going once I had been told what they wanted. It
came together in its basic form very quickly but we all knew the finished
product would take a long time. My job was safe for at least a year and if
this one worked I would expect a promotion and a team to help me with any
future developments.

Romeo and I talked every day, almost without fail. I gave him the moral
boost he needed. He was away from all he knew, still nursing his grief. It
was hard for both of us, but more so for him.

When he came home for Thanksgiving we partied for the four days. My boss
invited us for dinner on the day. He and his partner were besotted with
Romeo who made them laugh when they went a little over the top fussing over
him.

The other days he saw his old friends and I was always invited along for
evening things. None of them appeared to mind. They knew me as Romeo's dad
when Angie was alive and didn't appear to have any trouble accepting us as
a gay couple, I guess we were lucky. He needed it, his psyche was still
fragile, tears did greet me a few times over that holiday weekend.

"I still miss her so much Jed." Of course he did, so did I.

"It'll get easier Lover, just try to remember all the good times. She left
us with a legacy of happiness, hold onto that."

We made gentle love for the first time since Angie had died and that helped
the healing process, a tangible thing in his world that he had loved from
the first day we had done it.

Christmas was difficult, for years it had been Angie, Romeo and me. She had
no family that she wanted to be with and my parents were dead. It hadn't
mattered for years. We had each other and all the love that flowed round
the house. I was pleased to see Christmas Day behind us, the remainder of
the holiday we socialised with old friends and new colleagues.

Romeo went off to college for his second semester and I settled into a
bachelor life apart from my daily chat to Romeo.

Both of us had the opportunity to be unfaithful, Romeo, of course, more
than me, he was so gorgeous it was difficult to believe he was mine. He
swore he never did and I believed him. I swore I never did and he believed
me. I think we would both have felt so guilty if we had succumbed to
temptation that the other one would have known.

When he finished college he became the junior member of a design team with
an interior design company and that heralded a period of several years when
I was never quite sure what our home would look like from day to day. He
tried out all his new ideas on us first, many were quite stunning and I was
disappointed when he changed them. As he progressed we bought a bigger
house and then I put my foot down. The study and the lounge, once we had
settled on something I liked would remain untouched, the remainder of the
house he could change as often as he liked. It was fun once I got used to
the idea and frequently I would arrive home to see a team of beautiful
young men and women making over another of our rooms.

I always wondered why it was the beautiful people that had the wonderful
design sense. I also wondered how Romeo could keep his hands off some of
them. He did, and so did I, result as we wandered into middle age was a
continuous monogamous relationship. I don't remember ever having a
difference of opinion with my lover that warranted an argument and I don't
remember ever going to bed with him with either of us angry with the other.

I had known, even before we became lovers that this beautiful boy would be
my only love after we had done the deed for the first time, and that was
how it transpired.

				  THE END