Date: Sat, 05 Sep 1998 07:59:59 +0000
From: Andrej Koymasky <andrejkoymasky@geocities.com>
Subject: Akim-Akim-01

AKIM AKIM
Copyright Andrej Koymasky 1998
Written September 6 Th. 1993
Translated by the Author
English text kindly revised
by Jerry - A friend in Texas

DREAM

The boy was there, standing in front of him, silent.

He didn't know his name, but he knew he was there for him. It was the
first time he had seen him, but he felt they had known each other
forever.   They had been created for each other. The boy wore a wide
shirt and soft trousers hiding his shape, and yet he felt, or better he
knew, that they hid a perfect body.  A ripe virility, still untouched
but ready to be picked. He would now taste the fruit, he would be the
first to savor it. And he would show the boy a new world, new and
unknown pleasures, that would make the boy, at least, a man.

He slowly lifted his hands to the boy, looking at his beauty. A perfect
face, framed by thick black hair, soft and curly. He looked at his dark
eyes, bright like stars, deep like wells and saw a rainbow of emotions
pass in those eyes: awe, waiting, acceptance, desire, wavering.

His hands reached the boy and quivered and his feelings washed over him,
wrapping him like a warm and sweet wave. Quietly, his feverish fingers
started to unbutton the boy's shirt and all the universe seemed to hold
its breath.  Together, they both, in an absolute and deafening silence,
waited for the miracle to be accomplished. Now, just those two deep dark
eyes existed that seemed to attract him like a magnet.  His fingertips
lightly brushed the fresh skin of the boy and that made him vibrate like
harp strings.  The shudder reverberated in the boy's body like in a
sound box and the sun shone more bright and warm.

He heard his voice murmur to the boy, warm and sensual:

"Come... nobody will disturb us, come..."

Just at that moment, the door bell demandingly rang many times.   He
knew that it was Them.  They knew. They were coming to separate them, to
prevent it from happening, to keep him away from him.

His heart was in his mouth, (he knew that he didn't have a way out)...

-------------------- 

FIRST

He opened his eyes and realized that it was the telephone ringing.
Dazed, he pulled an arm out from the cover.

"Hello?"

"Hi, I'm Carla."

"Oh, Carla..."

"What happened? Did I wake you up?"

"What? Yes... I was dreaming."

"But, good grief, it's five PM! Was it a nice dream?"

"Yes, wonderful..."

"Sorry... what were you dreaming?"

"I was close to making a conquest..."

"Oh, what a pity... well, happily it was just a dream," then, casually:
"I'll never forgive myself. Was she gorgeous?"

"Yes, a dream!" Piero answered, smiling to himself, and asking himself
what would his friend have said  if she knew he was dreaming a "he" and
not a "she".

Carla giggled: "Listen, Piero, what are you doing tonight?  Do you have
any plans?"

"I don't know... no... why?"

"I thought to invite you for supper. Beppe called me from Bologna saying
he cannot come back tonight. He's coming tomorrow. So... would you have
supper with me?"

"Well, yes, thank you."

"Then I'll pick you up. We are going at Villa Sassi, is that OK?"

"Goodness! But it's very expensive!"

"It's on me, come on."

"OK, thank you, but..."

"We have to celebrate."

"Celebrate? Is not your birthday today, I hope? Did I forget it?"

"No no. I'm an Aquarius, you know that."

"Your saint's day?"

"No, no... come and I'll tell you. I'll pick you up in one hour, at six.
Is it OK? Do you think you can be ready?"

"All right... You made me curious..."

"Well. See you soon, then. I'm sorry about your dream..." his friend
joyful voice said in the receiver and he heard that she had hung up.

He put back the receiver and got out of the bed. While he was lazily
stretching, he looked at his image reflected by the wall mirror. He
smiled at his erection that was just starting to subside, looked with
pleasure at his bare body and, smiling at his image, said:

"Hello, Narcissus!"

He went to shower. A short yell at the first jet of cold water, then he
adjusted the faucets until he obtained the right warmth, then started
vigorously to wash. He recalled his dream. Who could that boy be?
Beautiful, however! Too beautiful to be real. If only he could meet
someone like that... He tried to recall his shape, but he discovered
that he didn't even remember where they were, if in his flat or
elsewhere...

"He was a virgin, but he desired me..." he said to himself in a low
voice.

He finished his shower, dried himself, and dried his hair with the
drier, arranging it with his fingers. He put his watch back on and
looked at it. Yes, he was in time. He got on the scale: seventy two
kilos, perfect. He went back to his room and choose the clothes: if they
were going to Villa Sassi to "celebrate", perhaps Carla expected him to
wear some slightly formal and elegant clothes... He choose his pearl
gray suit.  A sport cut, a shirt of light lilac and a necktie that was
just a bit darker shade of lilac. He dressed, checked at the mirror his
tie knot, arranged again his hair with his fingers. Pleased, he emptied
the pockets of the clothes he had worn and transferred the content to
his suit. Verified how much money he had in his wallet and put it back
in his pocket.

Carla rung the bell. Piero answered at the entry phone and went
immediately downstairs.

"So, Carla, what are we going to celebrate?"

"Curious man. Get into the car, come on!"

They started.

"First we are going to drink an aperitif at Baratti's."

"Wow! Full course, then! But... so, what's the matter?"

"Beppe made up his mind, he's going to marry me." Carla answered trying
to give a casual tone to her voice, but not really succeeding in that.

"Hey, good! You succeeded in making him decide, at last!"

"No, no. It's more than a year that I didn't mention it to him.  I knew
that by insisting, I was just risking losing him. No. He came to that
decision alone. On the contrary, when he told me, and I understood that
he was really serious; I took the luxury of asking him to think it over
well, that there was no hurry..."

"Ah! And he?"

"Nothing. He says: did you change your mind? And I: no. And he: then,
let's get married."

"And when, the ceremony?"

"In three months, in June. And I would like you to be my best man."

"I?" Piero asked sincerely, pleased but surprised, "Why me?"

"And why not you? You are a dearest friend and we know each other for
more than ten years, right? You are the most handsome of all my male
friends..."

Piero smiled: "More than your Beppe?"

"Yes, at least for me. Anyway, I will never ever marry you!" Carla said
with a playfully solemn voice.

"And why?"

"Because... Well, I feel you are too much of a brother to make follies
in bed with you!"

"And... with Beppe you do follies?"

"You can bet!"

"After three years you live together? No routine?"

"Absolutely not, but... would you please tend to your own business? Are
those questions to ask a colleague? What a rude person!" Carla answered
and both burst into laughter.

"Well..." Piero said to justify himself, but continuing to joke, "...
perhaps at the bottom of my soul I'm a little bit of... a voyeur."

"I never asked you what you do in bed with your girls, right?"

"No, that's right..."

"And if I asked you, would you tell me?"

"Well, no, I really think not..."

"You see!"

Piero thought: no, even because I never fucked a girl.  I don't know how
you would react if I told you that I fuck only with males like me...

He liked a lot Carla. They had been school mates in the High School and
then at the University. After graduation, they had lost contacts, but
just two years before, they found themselves as teachers in the same
High School: Piero was a teacher of Italian in the sections E and F and
Carla in the sections G and H. From that day they started to meet and
their friendship had cemented. Carla told him often about her relation
with Beppe, a thirty two years old barrister with whom she lived. But he
never had found the courage to tell Carla that he had discovered that he
was gay.

Piero had a strange sexual life. He had been a late bloomer, reaching
puberty around his fifteenth year. Growing up in a protected and middle
class milieu, until that age he didn't have either a sexual drive nor
experiences. His first nocturnal ejaculation had shaken him a little, he
clearly remembered it, it had happened one month before his fifteenth
birthday, in March.

This summer, at the seaside, a cousin of his age; but more developed
than him, taught him to masturbate. But each one by himself. After that
Piero didn't have any more contacts with other boys or males, but
continued to masturbate some two or three times a week. Normally he did
it in his bed, before falling asleep. But while doing it, he didn't have
any sexual fantasy: he simply enjoyed the sensations he was giving
himself and the final pleasure of the orgasm, after what he felt quite
soon asleep, satisfied, sated.

The fact that he wasn't attracted by the girls (but neither by the boys,
at that time) didn't worry him. And when his friends were talking about
their experiences, their conquests, he played the game devising
plausible stories, just not to be judged strange by the others.

The second year at the University, when he was twenty years old, quite
suddenly he understood he was gay. It was May: he was going in his car
to fetch his mother, who had gone to Viverone, to visit her father.
Along the way, he suddenly felt the need to go to the toilet.  Afraid
that he couldn't wait until he reached his destination, he stopped the
car on the side of the road and got out of the car.  Entering the nearby
grove to do what he needed far away from indiscreet eyes, he had
advanced between the trees and freed himself.

Returning to the road, he heard the noise of a breaking branch. 
Thinking he was being followed, he stopped to see who it was. He turned
around, looked everywhere but nobody was in sight. He was about resuming
his way, when he heard a voice saying something in a whisper. The tone
made him curious: again he looked around, more carefully.  Then he
noticed that on his right, in the thicket, some low branches were waving
in a funny way. Still, silent, he waited in curiosity and soon he heard
the voice again.  This time, he could distinguish the words:

"But, be careful... I never took it, you know it!"

At first, Piero didn't understand. A second voice said:

"Yes, yes, come on... widen your legs more and bend more... You'll see,
I'll make you like it even more than you like it in your mouth..."

Now Piero started to guess what was happening and also noticed that they
were two male voices. Never having had sex before didn't mean he wasn't
without knowledge about those things.  From his friends talks, he
understood that they were two "pederasts" (how they were called at that
time) that were coupling there, in the midst of trees and bushes. In
full day light, sure that they were alone.  He smiled to himself and was
about to go back to his car, when he heard the first voice murmur:

"Take it easy... Use more butter!"

Piero smiled: he knew that Vaseline was used, he never heard about
butter... Then the same voice said:

"Shit, it seems bigger than ever! Go slow, please..."

Piero decided that he wanted to see them, to look at them... Trying not
to make any noise, he approached, lead by the rhythmic waving of the
branches.  Was it luck or skill, but he succeeded in approaching the two
males without a single cracking to betray his presence, and without them
realizing they were being spied upon. He crouched between the bushes,
near enough and very few obstacles to watch the two young men: they were
joined in an energetic embrace.

He was fascinated. One was a young man around twenty five years old,
wearing an Agip Gasoline Stand overalls, open and half lowered. He had a
strong but lean body. The other was a boy around seventeen to nineteen. 
His trousers lowered to his ankles, his t shirt raised under his
armpits.  He was bent over and leaning on a tree with one hand. Piero
saw the muscles darting, the hands groping and fumbling.  The young
man's rod hammering, hard and at rhythm, between the firm buttocks of
the boy that he was rapidly masturbating with one hand. But what held
his attention more, were the intense expressions of pleasure on both the
two faces.

Piero couldn't move his eyes from the scene, so unexpected and new for
him. When he saw the two bodies tense, and both reach in rapid sequence
an orgasm; the expressions of intense pleasure on the two faces (the
youngest one his mouth open in a silent yell, the eldest enraptured in a
bliss) he felt his body shake.  He was sure that he too could reach such
a peak of pleasure.

The two separated (quite like in a slow motion picture) and cleaned each
others organs, still erected, hard and throbbing. In silence, they put
their clothes in order.  Then they French kissed for a while, when the
older man asked the other, caressing his hair:

"Did you enjoy it?"

"A lot."

"Did I hurt you?"

"A little bit, but who cares!"

"That way it's better than just sucking it, right?"

"Yes, you were right."

"Will you come again, tomorrow?"

"Yes, but... I'd like to do it in a bed..."

He watched them leave, whispering, still half embraced. When they were
far away, out of sight, Piero let out a deep sigh and stood up. He felt
a little stunned and he realized, with a slight surprise but with a
smile, that he had a remarkable hard on. He shook his head and, at last,
he went back to his car.

He went to fetch his mother and went back home with her. But his
thoughts were filled by the scene stolen in the afternoon between the
trees  The two young and well built bodies (it was the first time he
could see erected members, since that of his cousin five years before!)
and the two faces in ecstasy, the tenderness of the after coitus (ah,
that long kiss deep into the mouth!). He guessed that the two youths
were lovers, that what he had seen was not a simple adventure...

So, that same night, in his bed, for the first time immersed in erotic
fantasies, fancying to be together with one of the two lovers, or
perhaps with both at the same time, he masturbated... and reached an
orgasm before he usually did and with a lot more pleasure and
intensity.

He fell asleep at once and slept till morning. When he woke up, he
didn't remember having any dreams. But a thought, for the first time,
clear and precise arose in his head: I am a faggot! I too! I want a
male! It wasn't a shock nor a surprise, it was a simple and plain
acknowledgment he accepted as soon as he expressed it.

"But, how can I find a friend, a partner who... a male helping me to
live my sexuality, helping me to express it, wanting to try that with
me? I know no faggots..."

For the moment he set aside that problem and prepared to go to the
University. But yet on the way he realized that now he was looking at
boys, at males at large, his school mates with completely different
eyes. A Copernican revolution had happened in him: he had realized that
it is not the sun turning around the earth, but vice versa. The world
didn't appear to him any more to be composed of men and women, but by
desirable men and... others. The Others were women, children, old
people, uninteresting men.

But amongst the desirable men, who like him was a faggot? How to
understand that, how to know that, how to discover that? They must
exist, of course, he thought. Once he had read, without a real interest,
but now he was recalling that, that for sure one man in ten is
homosexual.

So, he thought during the lesson, in this classroom we are about eighty,
and about thirty five are males, of those, twenty have a quite nice
body... so at least two... (no, not two, just one besides myself...)
must be a faggot amongst the desirable ones. And in all the Faculty,
dozens of faggots!

For about a month, those thoughts or very similar ones accompanied him
almost constantly. And every night he masturbated, each time thinking of
a different male, or school friend, or of an actor or just a passerby
and, at time, of those two he has saw there in the bushes.

During the day his eyes caressed the bodies of handsome males he saw,
stopped on their trousers flies, trying to fancy the hidden shapes, and
he heightened with desire and was excited by thousands of erotic
fantasies (at that time more or less limited to what he had seen those
two doing...)

He had difficulties with his studies, his head was full of his new
discovery. At home, his family realized he had become absent minded, but
they didn't worry too much, because they saw him merry or at least
serene. Piero was serene indeed, but he had the feeling he had wasted
lot of time, a part of his life and he felt the urgency to... make up
for lost time, even if he didn't know where to start.

One day he saw a small ad on the Outpatient's bulletin board of the
hospital where he had gone to have X rays taken for a suspect broken
finger (after a bad fall while playing tennis). The small poster
advertised an association, or a group or what, and there was the
telephone number: it was the Info-Gay. Piero at once felt excited,
electrified. He memorized the telephone number, then later wrote it on
his notebook intending to call as soon as possible to get information.
He collected the X ray results (no broken bones), as soon as he was
outside, he looked for a public telephone and dialed the number. His
heart was beating loud and when he got the answer he barely managed to
say:

"I'm twenty, male, I would like to meet other males like me, but I don't
know how to do..." and became silent.

"Are you gay?" the voice at the other side asked.

"Uh?" Piero asked in confusion.

"Yes, are you a gay man?"

"Yes... I think so..."

"You think, you say?" the anonymous voice asked, vaguely amused.

"Well, I... I haven't have any experiences, but I believe... I think
I'll enjoy it..."

"Yes, I see. Do you have paper and a pen? Can you write?"

"Just a moment... yes, go on."

The voice started to dictate names and addresses: bars, discos, saunas,
associations, newsstands selling gay magazines... Piero was writing all,
fast, more and more astounded for the list length. At the end the voice
said:

"We don't give the addresses of parks or toilets where to cruise, but if
you are interested in them, you can find them in two very good guides,
one in English is called Spartacus, and the other in Italian is called
Guida Gay Italia. You can buy those in the newsstands I told you. And
even addresses of gay porno video shops. Anyway you can call again, if
you like..."

"Thank you, thanks a lot."

"Bye bye and best wishes. You have a sexy voice... who knows if a day we
can meet..."

"What? Ah, yes, sure. What's your name?" stunned Piero asked, but the
other end, with a last "bye bye" had hung up!