Date: Wed, 21 Nov 2012 23:07:00 -0700
From: dnrock@rock.com
Subject: Arden's Saga 25

Arden's Saga
by:  dnrock(dnrock@rock.com)

Don't forget Nifty needs financial help.  Please make a donation if you
can.  Every little bit helps.

25: Humour Is Good Too

1317, 11th month, 30th day:

A Genoese merchant ship, docked earlier today.  One of its passengers was a
priest, from Argostoli.  This is not extraordinary and would have gone
completely unnoticed by us; except, Bishop Georgios brought him to the
caste.  The priest, one Father Spyridon, was intent on meeting, the fabled
Princes of Parga.  He had talked with all of those recently returned and
wanted to thank us, on behalf of the families of three dead assassins, for
having granted them pardons and for letting the families know of their
fait.  It was very important to them, that Bishop Georgios had been allowed
to give them, a proper Orthodox burial. (TN: Well not quite since a proper
Orthodox burial as I understand it, did not include cremation.  I am left
to assume that the ashes were placed in concerted ground.)

He told us that the letters, both public and privet had greatly angered the
Count, as we knew they would.  He puzzled over what else the Count must
think us responsible for, as the Count seemed to be in a constant state of
consternation.  We did not tell him, although I did wish to.  He described
the great dock fire, two nights before.  The talk among the people was wild
with speculation about its cause.  We all acted with great surprise when he
said this.  Uncle Iason and Father, who did not know about our little
adventure, were greatly so.  We four did our best to pretend and I am sure
both the priests were taken in.  Our fathers, on the other hand, were not.

He told how the whole of the wood structures seemed to begin burning at the
same time and that no effort to fight the fire would quell it.  Due to the
late hour few were awake and no dock workers were about.  Several ships,
that were moored to the docks, were able to cut loose and were not badly
damaged.  Once the wooden dock started burning try as they might the fire
could be extinguished until all was lost. (TN: This would mean the
incendiary devices even if numerous did not need to be very large just
persistent enough to get the thing going out of control.  Remember these
firefighters did not have pressure pumps and would have been something like
a bucket line.

Uncle Iason asked if the Count was attempting to lay the blame at our door.
The priest said, he was but noted the Count always tries to blame others
for his problems.  Some of his military are suspicious of the Byzantines,
given Epirus' present difference with them.

After they departed, we were put to the grill.  Karyakos was sharp with us
and my mentor found it necessary to defend.  He pointed out that we were
all accounted for over the last several days and at the time of the fire,
the four of us were in the beds of their mentors.  He then turned to us
saying, "I hope the memory of your climax is all the greater, with the
knowledge of success."  At that point the play was over and I know we were
all red of faced, having been found out.  Father railed at us for some more
minutes until Uncle Iason could calm him down.  It was about this time that
I realized, this was a play being written by them.  To exactly what point,
I am not sure.

Uncle tried to explain.  "The gods move in strange and mysterious ways," he
said, "Sometimes those ways are fostered by the young princes of this
place, is that not so Iason?"

Having addressed my beloved by his name, without his title, it was a signal
that this was not state but family business.

"It is true, sometimes the princes of Parga do assist the divine, even it
they don't know it at the time," he responded in a sheepish tone of voice.

"Dioskourol, how did you advised on this venture," Father asked.

"Father, we advised in support," Kastor said.

"We debated and considered all the aspects, both military and political.
All consequences were considered, the rewards and risks evaluated," Poly
added.

"Even your apparent displeasure was foreseen," Kastor went on.

"Why is it you agreed to or commissioned such an adventure, without taking
part?"

I answered, it was pointed out that this venture was best left to the
professionals and our participation was neither needed or wanted.

Iason added, "they felt we would only get in the way Uncle."

"And you kept this a secret from us because?"  the King looked at Iason.

"We believed it easier to seek forgiveness than permission."

"And?"

"If you had no knowledge, you could, in all good faith, say so and just let
them think what they will."

"Is this the son protecting the father or the prince protecting the king,"
Uncle Iason asked.

Both, I answered, since one can not be separated from the other.  The
smiles on their faces told us all.

"When did you plan on telling us," Karyakos asked, in a much more
conciliatory tone?

"Not until the political heat is removed from the pot," Kastor said.

"You realize that even though you wish to isolate us from this, the
ultimate responsibility still lay in my office and that is one aspect of
kingship, that can not be delegated."

"Yes uncle Iason, we do.  We realized we were taking as much responsibility
for our actions as possible but it could not be complete.  We knew, if the
plan had gone off we would have much to answer for.  We also knew, if
successful, we would have little else but our own satisfaction as reward,
so did those that carried out the deed," Kastor said.

"You young men have done well as always, Iason and I are greatly pleased as
your fathers.  As your King and Consort we have no knowledge of this and
can say nothing."

"We would have the pleasure of our sons to dine in privet, so your fathers
and mentors can better reward our sons."

Ikaros, is now forcing me to bath in scented water, before our dinner with
our fathers, so I must put down the quill, as he is most instant and
seducing.


1317, 12th month, 1st day:

Last night, was a delight like I have never experienced before but wish to
again and again.  Our fathers and the twins' mentors had a wonderful meal
laid out for us.  We were entertained, with some of the most delightful
music and dancing imaginable.  The dancers were both male and female, 2 of
each and they were most erotic and sensuous.

The two men performed first.  I recognized the four as being in the place
theatrical group.  They danced fast and wild, with many jumps and twirls,
it was very athletic.  Then they danced slowly and very sensually, shedding
their small costumes and almost making love but not penetrating.  The two
women danced, shaking their hips and bodies, in ways I could not imagine.
I wondered if Euthalia could do that.  They then danced slowly and like the
men, wound up naked and moving in a most provocative and sensual way.
After they finished the four came to our low table and had several glasses
of wine with us.  We talked a bit.  The dancers began several long slow
series of movements, all four together and in pairs of men, women and
mixed, letting their hands and lips travel over the bodies of their
partners.  It was all most stimulating and by the time they departed, each
of us, were engaged with our mentor, in the most passionate sex imaginable.

I can not say for the others, just for my mentor, Iason and I.  My mentor
worshiped my body in every way a man can, at the alter of his beloved boy.
Every move of his hands or his lips, designed to heighten my pleasure,
every thrust of his penis in my boy temple, sending waves of desire through
my body.  (TN: Now that Arden is older he is obviously permitted to address
or reference his mentor by his given name.  Not something Arden often does
in these journals.)

Every sexual engagement with him is pleasurable.  This evening was filled
with romance and passion, lust and love, a level that we had not shared for
months, perhaps even years.  The candles and lamps were somehow struck and
each couple was covered with a warm robe, when I woke.  Obviously Dysme had
been here and Ikaros as well, since fresh clothing was neatly laid out for
each.

Much of the discussion in the council today, was dedicated to the inclusion
of females in the Page Core.  Since a goodly number of the knights had
served as pages, in their youth, it was lively and we received much advice.
Most of which we will be forced to ignore.  While they did not make any
direct references to sexual activities, between themselves or us and the
females, some were obvious.  Uncle Iason was becoming frustrated, with many
of the attitudes being expressed, by the more misogynistic of them.  He
told them, before they offered any more advice they should go home and
seriously discuss the issue with their wives, concubines and daughters.

"If you think they have not been talking among themselves, you are
seriously underestimating them.  Remember in ancient Sparta, women were
often highly praised warriors, ask Alexander how bravely they defended
their homes and that Parga is neither Sparta or Athens of old.  Women here
are not property and have rights guaranteed by law and custom.  We men are
fond of social and intellectual interactions with the ladies of our society
and on many issues, seek their advice and council.  Why not in this?"

On the issue of the Royal Guard and his proclamation of Princess Elpis'
Amazons, no real discussion took place, since that institution is under the
direct control and authority of the King's office.

The scholars did remind the members, "women have often served shoulder to
shoulder with the men as solders, to defend Parga.  Saying that, when
Theophilos met the Great Alexander, at the eastern pass and discouraged him
from attacking, his army was almost 50% women.  He claimed his Amazons were
each worth two of Alexander's famed fighters.  A claim Alexander chose not
to test.  You may wish to ascribe his going elsewhere to the strong
defensive position of that pass alone.  I remind you our ancient
grandmothers were one tough lot, as tough as our ancient grandfathers.
Parga is here today, partly because they were so."

Uncle Iason did assure them, he had no intention of placing women into the
regular military as worriers.  In other roles he had not yet considered it.
That would be mostly left up to Prince Tertius, as he develops his new
military structures and the creation of Princess Eudoxia's Eagles.

From the improvements we have made in the safety and health of our people,
especially boys and girls in crafts and trades, along with the general
improvement from better water and sewers and so on; the death rates have
begun to drop and if this continues, we will be able to reduce family
sizes.  This means as a society, we can delay marriages by a few years or
allow more women to be childless.  Which means, just as productive but in
goods and services, instead of babies.  Iason and I will commission a
census, every 5 years, starting in 1318.  This will be a good job for
Arden's boys and I assume girls.  No mention of it has yet been made but I
am sure that it will.  I shall preempt this, by presenting my own plan.

After the council meeting, Ikaros reported that he had found one of the
older Palace Girls, who can serve as his Assistant Steward and Chamber
Woman for the female Pages, her name is Agatha.  He made it clear to us,
this was not one of the females he has had liaisons with, apparently she is
not interested in men, romantically.  He did not say but I assumed, that
was the only reason he had not.  He intended to share his office space with
her.  It is a small room but sufficient for two small writing desks and
necessary supplies.  Iason and I remember her from her former service with
the Royal Children.  The three terrors all got sower faces on, when we told
them.  I guess she is strict and stern as well as highly efficient.  Ikaros
thought that would be good for the new female pages, since they will not
have had much advanced preparation.

We would meet with the architects in the next few days.  Our apartments
will now need some expansion and reorganization, to accommodate the new
reality of females living in close proximity to us.  Our little all male
family was going to change and yet we did not wish it to be to radically
altered.  Kastor thought it best if the male page dorm has a direct
connection to our quarters and all of us men should share a common bath and
toilets.  The female dorm should have its own bath and toilets and both
dorms should open in to a common room for socialization.  That common room
should be where the pages receive their assignments.  Poly suggested we
appoint a young Knight or Squire to manage the pages assignments as well as
their non educational training, if that Knight or Squire were married
perhaps his wife could function as athletic coach for the girls.  Other
ladies in the castle could be recruited to assist in mentoring and
nonacademic education.  All this would mean the females would need another
large common room, with entrance from the female dorm and joint common
room.

Princess Eudoxia could work herself into the position of senior page and
later Mistress of the Female Pages, as she gained age and experience.  This
would mean Eudoxia and Alexandros will not be leaving the city.  We would
try and foster a family type atmosphere, where the pages all viewed
themselves as brothers and sisters.  The last thing we needed was sexual
liaisons and romances between them, while in the service at least.  If the
other girls are as charming as Olympia and Eudoxia, it will take all of our
fortitude to resist them, well mine anyway.

Lady Lucia had volunteered to find the candidates and assist Tertius and
ourselves in building a program, setting rules and so on.  She would also
design the the female Page and Eagle uniforms.  Ikaros would teach them
fencing and Damao fighting.

Lady Lucia reminded us, "the King will need to change some rules or make
contracts with the non Palace Girls' fathers; since we do not want them
suddenly betrothed or wed, while in the middle of their service.  The
concepts of meritocracy must be applied to them, as to you men."

I suddenly thought of Olympia and Dario.  I know my cousin is very desirous
of becoming a page and in studying history and art.  She is quite good at
painting and working with clay.  I am sure they will find happiness
together.  Olympia will make a fine ambassador's wife, as he will make a
fine ambassador.  They are both quiet young for such a position, I know our
fathers have confidence in him and apparently her.

I could see right off, some of the difficulties in message delivery could
be solved by this.  The male pages do not have free access to the women's
quarters or the females to ours, we just needed to think a little on
assignments.  I was still not sure how many females we would have.  Iason
wasn't sure either.  We called a meeting of all the pages, Olympia and
Eudoxia.  Since the under 14 pages were not allowed outside the castle and
there are 5 of them, plus Dios we thought that 5 girls 14 or over and 5
under 14, would give us a good balance and at least appear to be fair.
Eudoxia had no illusions, that at first anyway, fairness was a relative
thing.

Hesiodos came along, to fill us in on the guards-women.  None with
experience could be found, that is no surprise.  He and Tertius had located
several women in their mid 20's, who are well known athletes.  They were
being trained in the military skills, along with 4 palace girls.  It would
be some months before any were ready.

Just as I am finishing this entry, Dios and Agapios came into our
bedchamber.  At times I do miss the old days when Iason and I were alone.
Lovers need time by themselves, I think.  Kastor and Poly will sometimes
force us to use their room, holding off our boys and the others.  They
never seem to require this but they have been inseparable since birth,
their bond is, as everything else between, just part of who they are.

Dios was much concerned about Agapios, as Hermogenes was again at sea.
"Arden, Agapios is lonely for my father," he said, in his best little boy
voice.  Agapios just blushed.  I opened my arms and took the lad against my
chest and Dios too.  Telling him, I understood, when I was just a new
prince my, father and mentor, would both sometimes be gone for days at a
time.  I was fortunate to have Iason at my side and in the same position.
I asked if Volos and Pyrros were not giving him enough attention.  He
assured me they were but that he did not want to sleep alone and Volos
always puts him in his own bed and sleeps alone or with Pyrros.

I asked him if he told them how lonely he was and if he ever requested to
sleep with them?  He said, "Oh no, they will think I am a child and to
young to have a mentor.  Dios and Odo said, you would know what to do."

I suggested that he tell, which ever one puts him to bed, that he misses
Hermogenes terribly and just ask if he could sleep with him.  Neither will
think less you, they both know what it is like to sleep alone and miss the
security of your lover's presence.

Now that I have a boy of my own and am in greater contact with more of the
younger ones, I am beginning to understand why Uncle Iason and Father are
so fond of training them.  I also see why it is so important that this
education is done well and correctly.


1317, 12th month, 7th day:

Yesterday was one of the most exciting days I have ever had.  It all
started out quite normal.  We four princes, Alexandros, Kleitos and our six
guardians went hunting, to the northeast, toward out hunting lodge.  That
was our purpose and planned destination.  Kleitos had a couple of his
horsemen along, to handle the pack animals.  The West House Argoanuts had
invited us, saying the game was highly abundant.  We thought it a worthy
plan and we needed a respite from our usual routine.  We were about three
hours on the road, when, to our great surprise, one of Janus' couriers came
upon us.  The rider was not in his usual position but clung to the neck of
his mount.  Poly acted first and moved to intercept the apparent runaway
animal.  He managed to stop the frightened horse and Kleitos dismounted and
took control of him.  The rider had been wounded, his forehead had been
bleeding and he was close to fainting.

Pyrros gave him water, Heron and Damao helped him to the ground.  He told
us bandits had attacked, by hitting him with rocks from slings.  They came
from both sides of the road, about 6 of them.  He managed to hang on and
the horse did the rest.  He told us the attack was about 4 stadion ahead,
along the road where it dips into a little hollow filled with trees.  We
asked if this had ever happened before?  He said no but the bandits had
become bolder of late and the local sheriff seemed not to do or be able to
do, anything about them.  One of Kleitos' men accompanied him to the next
horse changing station.  He could rest and let a relief rider finish this
run.

I pulled my bow and quiver from the pack animals and took off my kilt,
riding breeches and tunic.  The others demanded to know what I was about.
I had decided to run the 4 stadion and sneak up on the bandits.  They would
not be expecting that or a naked runner.  They bid me hold and ride
further, Polydeukus and Kastor would accompany me, if I would do that, as
they were not as strong a runner as I.  I agreed and put my kilt and swung
back on.

Iason thought they would have lookouts at the top of the little rise,
before the hollow or perhaps in the trees.  We should make sure and leave
the road before they could see us.  The others would ride along, as if
normal, but hold at the top until they got a signal from us to advance.
Kleitos and his man would hold back with the horses a little, as to not get
in the way.  Damao did not like the plan, he thought the guardians should
do the work.  I assured him we would not put ourselves in any danger, if it
could be avoided and that our arrows had a much longer range then their
slings.  Iason and Kastor would take the right side and Poly and I the
left.  We suggested that the others remove their tunics as.  If the bandits
saw they were Kings Guards they may flee or hide.

We were all very angry, that anyone would attack one of the King's
Couriers.  Any qualms I might have about hunting men, instead of deer, were
quickly put aside, when I remembered the blood on the rider's face.

About 1 and half stadion before the hollow we dismounted, behind a low
hill, just before the road turned and we would be exposed. We climbed the
small hill and surveyed the situation.  To the north and south were
pastures with sheep and goats, some bushes and rocks.  Ahead the road
dipped into a hollow, which was a stream bed that had large trees and some
bushes growing along it and along the road.  I wanted to run but saw no
point in it.  Polydeukus would only tire badly and be of no help.  Knowing
how accurately and rapidly I could shoot my arrows, I was confident in
taking out at least three or four, before they knew we were even on them.
Volos held the top of the little hill, to watch our progress.  Alexandros
did not think they were to high up in the trees as the branches were thin,
being Willows.  He should know about that having fallen from a Fig tree,
some years back.

In the kind of open forest we faced, the slings would be of little use but
arrows, that is another thing.  We assumed Iason and Kastor were in
position about the same time we would be.  Poly flashed a mirror back to
the others and they started along the road, making much noise announcing
themselves.

Poly and I notched our arrows and prepared.  Just as the bandits were about
to rush forward we both let fly, hitting our marks.  In seconds we shot a
second round and began running forward shouting with swords in hand.
Mindful they were armed with slings we kept between the trees.  Our
guardians were now on the ground and attacking from that side.  One began
running across a field.  I ran after him.  He was no match for me and I
quickly ran him down, clamping my hand on his shoulder, I pushed and down
he tumbled.  I was at him in an instant, holding my sward to his throat.

As I marched him back toward the others, Alexandros came riding up.  He
told me the count was three dead, two wounded and this one.  Much to my
captives dismay, he assured us Odo would have another song about our
exploits.  That was when he realized he had been captured by Prince Arden.
Among the dead were one of the sheriff's sons, an two of his nephews.  One
of the wounded was his other son.  He begged for us to kill him.  He knew
that he had brought dishonour on his family.  His punishment was just
beginning.

In the village we were greeted by a hostile group of citizens, who were not
pleased that we had killed three of them, until the one I captured told
them the whole story.  He knew, that by admitting his transgressions and
his trying to run away, he disgraced himself and the community.  We
suddenly found ourselves in the role of protectors.  Iason spoke to
everyone assembled.  He asked them not to judge these men but to let the
King's justice take its course.  The sheriff was beside himself with both
grief and distress.  We were not able to console him much.  He would have
dispatched his wounded son, had we not been at hand to stop him.

Our hunting was successful and on our return, we stopped again in the
village.  We learned the funerals were done and the dead cremated.  The
others were now at the castle, in jail.  Alexandros gave the King's
Representative some gold coins, to assist the families of the killed.  He
did not want to take it but Kastor persuaded him.  The Representative
remembered who Alexandros was and what happened to his counterpart, that
failed to protect an orphan.  He also understood why it was Alexandros,
that gave the coins.  Iason told him quietly, so only I could hear, if any
of the families needed assistance he should not hesitate to call on us or
the Argoanuts.

Just as we were about to ride on, an old woman came to me and asked what
would happen to her son.  He was the one I had captured.  I told her that
he would not be harmed and some way would be found for him to make
atonement.  She told me none of the three should ever come back to the
village, it would not be safe for them.  Iason came over and after I
explained who the old woman was, he suggested she come to the city during
the soloists festivities, to see her son, "pardons are often granted during
that time."  He later told me he had learned that the one I captured was
the youngest and had been influenced by the older ones we killed, who were
bandits.  This one, was not usually part of the gang and was not armed,
that is why he did not stand and fight, like the others.

I figured a few weeks in jail and perhaps we will see an effective change
in attitude.  I hope so, for his mother's peace of mind.

When we returned, we were again greeted as heroes, although we did noting
extraordinary.  We did bring much fresh wild meat and a great feast would
at least be enjoyed but that is not extraordinary.

As we were heading up to our apartments one of the young solders, we knew
from our training, asked for a privet word.  He was quite sheepish and
reticent, so I knew this was of some importance and also personal.  We
ushered him into our sitting area and Ikaros pored wine for all.

He looked at the floor saying, "you don't want to share wine with me
Prince, I am not worthy."

"Not so Mitos, we know how well you perform," Poly said, followed by
Kastor, "Is there something troubling you man, let us help."

"That young man you captured is my cousin and his actions have brought
shame on my family.  I saw him being brought in the jail.  His mother, my
aunt, must be beside herself."

I have already spoke to her Mitos and given my assurances he would not be
harmed.  Iason invited her to visit him.  Besides being an embarrassment to
you, what do you know of him?

"I know he is a gentle but easily lead and impressionable lad.  I suspect
that he was pulled into the bandits ring by the older men.  His father has
been dead for some years and I think he lacks for sound male leadership."

Iason asked, "you think he can be rehabilitated?"

"I am sure of it but too long in the jail and he will be like the others in
there."

"Then you must do a service to your family, by getting him out," Polydeukus
commented.

"But I can not Polydeukus, he has broken the law and must receive
punishment."

"Our laws are based on the ideals of justice and restoration.  If someone
commits a wrong then he must accept his responsibility, make atonement for
his actions and restore, as best he can, the situation.  The actions of his
companions were dishonourable.  As I understand the situation, this was his
first time to be involved and we know he was unarmed.  Surly atonement for
this is possible and restoration is not even needed," Iason said.

"Right, now he needs a friend to show him the way, Mitos.  What better
friend than his cousin, someone he knows and trusts."  Polydeukus added.

"But what will my commander and you four, my princes, think of me for
helping a criminal?"

"If you were to help him escape ill, if you offer him friendship, council
and support, as a cousin should, only well," Kastor added.

Mitos, you know us well enough and have seen how we operate, to know we
will be looking for any possible way, to free your cousin in the shortest
possible time.  Go and be his friend, for he needs one greatly.  Let it be
your good influence that guides him, not that of the others he is in jail
with.  Tell him you have arranged the finest council available for him and
when he stands in the dock he stands not alone.  From what you have said,
the lad needs a strong and steady male influence in his life.  For this I
have a plan but it will depend mostly on him and how he shows contrition
before the court.

We can not use our influence with the judge, that would be an abuse of
office and our family relationship.  If the worst possible happens, we will
all beg the court on his behalf.  You can attest to our fairness in these
matters, as you have been witness.  I will ask Olympos to be his advocate,
as there is none better.  None of us can work miracles, much will depend on
him and on your influence.

Mitos, loyalty comes with a price.  I know you are loyal to Parga and to
us, you pay the price.  You are loyal to your family as well, that is
demonstrated by you being here.  That too has a price.  Once he fully
understands this and is willing to pay the price of loyalty to you, his
family and friend, as well as the state, we will find a way out of this
apparent morass.  Right now his loyalty has been muddled and you will show
him the way out.  Now please drink your wine and laugh with us a bit, not
all of our trip was serious and we would share some of those good things
with you.


1317, 12th month, 9th day:

King Iason was in a rage, he paced up and down mumbling to himself.  It was
no mystery that he was so, just the matter that caused it.  Prince Karyakos
brought the council meeting to order.  He told the council that we would
have several guests.  "I beg your indulgence this afternoon.  King Iason
and myself are intending to perform a bit of theatre, for your
entertainment.  It is very old ploy, a play within a play.  We ask that you
laugh when things are funny and refrain from laughing when they are not,
even if they are laughable in being incorrect.  This is not the time or the
place for artistic criticism, since all involved are in one way or another
amateurs.  That is why, I beg your indulgence and as soon as we can get the
King to control is literary outrage, we will begin.  Remember Knights and
guests, he looked up at the gallery, this is a play within a play."

The king smiled sat and nodded.  The doors opened and in strode 4 players
from Kephalonia.  In the gallery, I could see many of our players and
playwrights.  Introductions were made and Uncle Iason took over.

"Troubadours, I have read your play and frankly I find the concept and idea
very funny and in the best satirical traditions.  The ideas would make
Aristophanes himself, jealous.  I am most displeased however, that for much
of it, your ignorance of Parga is to great for me to allow this to be
performed.  It is just insulting to Parga's citizens, without the satirical
humour we all love so much."

He picked up a copy of the play and began reading a passage.  In the
passage the king is speaking and what he is saying was satirical and funny
and he got laughs, the facts were just wrong.  So he put the play down and
said, "now when I talk, I sound like this," and he paraphrased a shot
sentence and got even more and louder laughs.  "Now that would make a much
better scene, would it not?"  He just went on of course, not giving
opportunity for them to answer.  "Now, you have me speaking down to Prince
Karyakos, as though he were not my equal.  That is something I would never
do, in public or in privet.  We are equal, so have each talk down to the
other or neither.  I think you can see, each talking down to the other,
could be a source of much humour.

You are mistaken in how our privet life is organized.  For example, you
have us using our titles, in a scene where we are both supposedly in the
bath.  Nonsense, I call him Karyakos, that is his name and he calls me
Iason, that is my name.  Some times we use names of endearment too, like
any lovers do, since we are in fact lovers.  We are proud of that and it is
not in the least bit scandalous in Parga, as it has been part of our
culture for perhaps a thousand years.  We, Karyakos and I, have taken the
liberty to rewrite a part of your scene, to better reflect the reality of
the situation.  I think you will agree that it is even funnier, in our
version."

In the brief scene the king and consort are in the bath and musing on what
to do about the potential invasion of Parga, by a horde of men dressed as
women.  In it they used their names without title and many terms of
endearment, some I have over heard and some obviously not, but it was very
funny, because they treated a humorous situation with true seriousness.
Everyone laughed, mostly the pages and gallery but many Knights too.

"Playwright were you well paid by Count Nikholas, for these efforts?"

"Yes Sire, well paid."

"I think you overcharged."  That too produced a laugh. "Did you rely on his
faulty information and misconceptions or are they pure fiction, which in
his case are one in the same, most oft?"

"I based most of this on his description of Parga, not ever having been
here before."

"I see.  Well playwright I can not let this play be performed as written.
It is not worthy of your skills or the potential satirical humour of this
Court.  Parga has several well known and fine playwrights and I am sure
they will assist you in rewriting it, to produce a truly funny and biting
comedy, as satire should be.  The essence of humour is the truth taken to
an extreme.  The scribes will make available to you the text of our
comments and references to the Count.  We were far harsher and much more
biting of him then he lead you to believe.  I think their is much fodder in
them for a writer as cleaver as you obviously are.

Other things you should know about Parga are: We are not in the least
ashamed of who we are or what we do.  Because of that we can and do hold
ourselves up to the mirror of ridicule and satire, gaining much mirth from
it.  We all look forward to a performance of your rewrite.  Humour is good
for the soul.  Another thing I noticed, that is how you treat the Pagans
and the Christians is not even.  The one sensitive social issue here
relates to our lack of a state religion.  We are a completely secular
state.  That offers great additional fodder to you, which you are free and
encouraged to use, I suggest it be used evenly.  That is, all faiths have
elements of humour and if you pick on one, pick on all or none.  Further,
your treatment of the would be assassins is in poor taste, since three were
killed and one lost a part of his arm.  It does a disservice to them.  You
probably do not know but they were greater in numbers just lesser in
skills, but both sides fought honourably and bravely.  Perhaps some
fictional incident would be more appropriate and offer even greater
opportunity for humour.

I think the playwright was stunned.  He did not expect to find us so open
to satire.  I think Uncle Iason set the bar high for him, I also think he
turned the tables on the Count as well.  Since now, out from under his
censorship and misinformation, he too becomes a target.

Euthalia has learned to take my entire penis into her throat.  She still
can not give oral pleasure as well as my beloved Iason.  He has had far
more experience but I think it has more to do with a girl not knowing
herself what the pleasure she is giving feels like.  Perhaps we boys can
not give oral pleasure to girls as well as another female.  My beloved
Nikias does better than she.  Not that I don't like what she does.  I
certainly do.  My male lovers and those I love can all take most erect
penises entirely into their mouth and throat.  This allows us to use not
only our tongues, cheeks and smooth throats but the muscles in our necks to
give pleasure.  I also find that there is great pleasure in the giving too.
The feeling of my lovers penis sliding into my mouth and throat send
shivers down my spine and settling in my crotch.  I sure like it.

Pleasure is also enhanced by other senses.  Smell is important and I sure
like most of the odours connected with the human body and its sex organs.
Just the briefest whiff of my boy or my man is enough to raise my erection,
for example.  Our visual sense is another.  A well shaped butt or breast is
enough to send tingles through my testicles.