Date: Thu, 29 Mar 2001 16:17:51 -0500
From: NailsB69@hotmail.com
Subject: Chapter 12, Basketball Camp

This chapter seems a lot better, after I rewrote it and Chapter 11. Please
give me feedback on both of them, especially if you read either of the
earlier versions.  Thanks.


Farewell Lunch
Basketball Camp, Chap. 12
by Bob Nelson

I hurry home and sniff my pits as I enter. I don't stink, but am not April
fresh, so to be safely sociable I run hot water in the basin, dunk a
washcloth, make a light lather, wring it out and scrub my face, neck, pits,
arms and hands. I rinse the washcloth thoroughly and hang it up. I scrub
dry, slip into a fresh shirt and fresh shorts, brush my hair, and I'm
ready. I leave Spike a small bowl of doggie treats (mostly milk bones plus
one twisted rawhide chew strip), grab my best ball cap, and I'm outta here
-- twelve minutes since entering. I move quickly down my front walk, turn
right and hurry up the slight hill, one block to campus.

Five minutes and I'm entering the foyer of the Dining Hall. In the service
they'd just call the whole building the Mess Hall, but somebody here puts
Titles onthe buildings, not names. Not labels to tell each building's
function, which the students use. Ah, well, I get to teach my favorite
subject, with mostly boys in the classes, do some research, and "check" my
Grad. Assistants regularly who run the Lab sections. No better way to get
close to a handsome hunk than to lean over his shoulder to adjust his
Bunsen burner, examine his lab notes, or tweak his test tube. Hot retorts!

"Ah, Dr. Nelson, glad you made it. Actually you beat most of my staff and
most of the boys. David's already here, though. Since you're going to eat
with the Ferocious Five why don't you and he pick out a spot in a corner so
you have a chance to talk and won't get run over by guys going back and
forth for pizza and sodas."

"Thanks, Coach. I appreciate your inviting me, and I do need to talk to a
couple of the boys who might be interested in visiting the campus next year
if we have majors they want." More camouflage.

I move through the double doors and down the stairs into the huge Dining
Hall. Trays and silver are in racks as you enter the food prep/serving
area, salad bar in the middle, and juice/soda/water tanks along one wall
with the coffee and tea, just before you leave. Very efficient, but I'm not
ready to eat, yet. A poignant thought comes knifing into my gut -- I wonder
now if I will ever get a chance to eat My David. Stupid thought! I cast him
loose, to go back to Charlie, maybe his true love. Certainly he doesn't
need me! And it's so dangerous for us both for me to try to get him. He
sees me and stands up slowly, but looks slumped. He looks at me with sad
eyes.

"Hello, David. What's wrong? You and Charlie are back together and the
Ferocious Five WONthe Championship! What's wrong, now?"

He half turns toward the wall and pretends to lay out some napkins to claim
the table,

"You set it all up, I guess. Had some fun, a romantic fling with me, as you
called it, but then you threw me away. Youdecided when it started, how far
it went, and when it was over. Charlie and I have each other, again, thank
God! We'll need each other to pick up our pieces, and to sweep out yours."

{DAMN it! DAMN IT! It's worse than I thought! I royally screwed up both
David and Charlie! Trying to play God! Maybe I permanently damaged David's
spirit and his ability to love. I might have fucked up their real love for
each other by turning David's off and then trying to turn it back on! Hell,
why even think that he really loved me? He was attracted to me, and
probably meant it when he saidhe loved me, but he has no experience in
love, so how would he know? Yeah, like I have so much experience and so
many successful amours. HA! Loser I began, Lesser I became and Lousier I
am! Full circle sure loses to an Empty House. My silly fantasy that David
would go to college here and move in with me for his Junior and Senior
years were total pipe dreams -- like those I used to have after the second
bowl of some real primo grass. "Bong me once and bong me twice and bong me
once again, it stretches time, time, time." (Sung to the tune of "Kiss me
once," etc.) SHEE-IT! I'm sure on my Pity Pot after the merry-go-round ride
I started! I'm feeling so sorry for myself I don't even consider if David
and Charlie will come out of this OK or not! Oh- oh, here comes Charlie.}

"Hi, Dr. Nelson." Charlie greets me, with absolutely no expression on his
face.

After David's emotional slump and lack of affect with me, I'm not surprised
by Charlie's, but try not to act hurt by his intentionally distancing
himself. Hell, there I go again. He is hurting as much as David by my
high-handed way of deciding a major part of their lives.

"Hello, Charlie. I thought everything got worked out before your final
game, but maybe not. Let's eat so we three can talk after -- if you want to
-- because here come the other three."

As I say this, the other three boys come close enough to wave, then grab
their trays to get their lunch. David and Charlie have their backs to the
main room so turned to wave, then turn back.

{I can't read their emotions --is it anger, disappointment, disgust, or
deep hurt. I can't tell. Part of it may be depression. I'm getting no
signals from David on our "emotions telephone" we had, briefly. I just
don't know.}

"Boys, how can I say I'm sorry without sounding trite? I was verywrong to
encourage you to feel close to me, especially you, David. I hoped that
today, when you discovered your long-time love for each other, and told
each other, that it cleared away all the garbage, including feelings for
me. I did nothave the right to get involved emotionally with either of you,
and certainly not sexually with you, David. Well, "almost sex." How I wish
I could unsay and undo it all !"

"But you can't, Bob," Charlie says in a low voice almost devoid of emotion.

"No, you can't" adds David, "and anything you say will sound like you're
just trying to mess with us some more -- or mess us UP, some more."

It tears me up, but they're probably right. These two boys were so
wonderfully enthusiastic and exuberant when I met them. When David got back
to the dorm from my house last night, Charlie thought he had indisputable
evidence of David having sex with me and accused us of it. But I thought
they resolved all that before the championship game! Now, an hour later,
they seem just as torn up.  No, they're moretorn up! Their divine spark of
youth is turned off. The light has gone out of their eyes and faces. They
look five years older, sadder, and much wiser -- bitter wisdom from a
bitter experience.

{Oh GOD, whathaveI done to them? Please, God! Bring back their happy
spirits! Take mine, now if you want, just let me go wherever You want me
to, but PLEASE rejuvenate these boys! }

As I finish my intense, silent prayer I feel my tears start flowing. I grab
a handful of napkins out of the dispenser and fake a loud sneeze then start
blowing my nose and wiping my eyes. I fake a couple more sneezes -- the
only thing I can think of to cover my crying. After five "sneezes" and
several snorts, much nose blowing and wiping of eyes, I turn back to the
boys and say,

"There must be something I'm awfully allergic to in here. I think I'd
better leave." I wait for their reply.

"Yeah, guess you'd better so you don't get worse," Charlie says.

David just stands there, and then nods his agreement. I turn to go when he
steps forward and puts his hand on my arm, as the other three come up and
sit at the table. David walks me about ten feet away and says quietly, but
earnestly,

"Don't go far, Bob. I want to finish this, but not this way. We owe you a
big one for helping us realize we dolike each other a lot.  Hell, we love
each other -- maybe even sexually. But you really messed me up!  Charlie,
too. We'll talk after we finish lunch. We'll meet you by the lake out
back."

Charlie watches us while we talk. Now he gets up and comes over, apparently
knowing what David was going to tell me. He sticks his hand out, shakes
mine once, and announces loud enough for anyone near to hear,

"Yeah, whatever it is that set you off might be worse if you stay. Guess
you're right, Dr. Nelson. You better go take something for it. We'll tell
Coach what happened. Goodbye." He turns around and sits down, not looking
back.

David gives me a blank look then goes back and sits down, too. I walk back
toward the others and say,

"I don't know what tore my nose and throat up, but I gotta go. Great
meeting you guys! You're all the best! Good luck back at school."

"OK, thanks," says Enzio.

"Nice meeting you, Dr. Nelson," Tony says .

"Thanks for your help and encouragement, Bob," Pete says with a concerned
look on his face.

I go out the ground floor doors, crossthe fancy brick work area and the
grass to Founder's Lake. I sit on one of the rustic wood benches beside the
water, my back toward the Dining Hall. My "severe allergic reaction" was a
heavy dose of Pure Stupidity and Mad Mouth. Mad as in Crazy! How could I
imagine everything would be OK for me to come have a Victory Lunch with "My
Team"? I played with the emotions of the two finest boys I've ever met,
especially David. Then when Charlie got angry, open and honest, I jumped in
like I'd fix everything. So now we can all be good friends? YEAH, RIGHT!!
What in Hell did I think I was doing? It was none of my business!! Then my
mind shuts down. Overload, maybe.

I sit there, mind in neutral -- brain racing, but not going anywhere --
Suddenly I feel a hand on my shoulder. I jump a foot in total panic! I feel
like some monster has me -- but it's David and Charlie.  They aren't
smiling.

*****************************************************************************

IS this the end? The end of their Love, the end of Bob, or both? Write me,
PLEASE! I have an outline for the next chapters, but I need your
input. What do youthink should happen? Send to NailsB69@hotmail.comand come
join http://communities.msn.com/GayVikings, where you can see all chapters
a week or more before they appear on Nifty Tell me "Coming in from
Basketball Camp" when asked why you want to join.  Thanks for reading and
writing!