Date: Sun, 31 Jul 2005 22:47:20 -0700
From: BlueAngel <richie-blueangel@cox.net>
Subject: Benji (Chapter 4)

Disclaimer:

This story is pure fantasy from a hopeless romantic boylover.  No part of
this story may be used without consent from the author.

Feel free to send comments to richie-blueangel@cox.net.
Make sure to include the name of the story in the subject line.

*Please remember that wherever you go, and whatever you do, you have the
opportunity to change a person's outlook....try to do it in a positive way.


Characters:
Benjamin Scott Antler: age 8
Kathy Antler: age 42
Matt Antler (Kathy's Brother): age 38
Richie (Me): age 36


Chapter 4


I walked home that evening, very happy, but still worried about what the
future would hold for Benji and I.  By all accounts, Kathy had given us her
blessings, but where did that leave me.  Sure Benji and I connected, but
just how did he feel about me.  We had lots of fun together, and some very
special quite times as well, but still I wondered, what did he think.  Was
he falling inlove with me like I was with him.  I spend the rest of the
evening, in deep though about my feelings for Benji.  By 10pm I was a
basket case of nerves.  I decided to call it a night, hoping tomorrow would
bring answers to the questions I was just beginning to ask.

I woke the next morning feeling rested, but with no better answers to the
questions I keep asking myself the night before.  With nothing better to
do, and not really comfortable showing up at Benji's house asking if he
could come out and play, I went online to check my e-mail.  After a few
replies, I was just sitting there doing nothing.  Frustration getting the
better of me I found myself calling Benji's number.  I had no idea what I
was going to say, but at least I might be able to hear his voice.  Kathy
answered the phone with a cheery "Hello", to which I replied "Good
Morning".  What she though about my calling at 8am in the morning on a
Sunday I didn't know, if fact I hadn't given any though to the time till
after I was on the phone with her.

I could almost feel her smile at my predicament, here I was 36 years old
and calling her 8 year old son, at 8 in the morning no less.  She started
to say "He's too busy watching cartoons" when I heard his chipper voice say
"No I'm not".  She chuckled, and said "I guess I was mistaken" and handed
the phone over to him, saying "It's Richie".  He said a soft hello, to
which I said hello back.  Not knowing what I wanted to say, only knowing I
wanted to see him again, I asked him what cartoon he was watching.  I was a
little surprised when he told me he was watching "The Justice League" a
favorite cartoon of my when I was a kid.

We talked for about 20 minutes about our favorite shows.  Seems we liked
some of the same shows like Smallville and Stargate, but there were many
others we didn't.  We were just getting into a discussion about Smallville
when Kathy said told Benji she wanted to speak to me.  He tried to tell her
we were discussing something, but she told him we could talk later she
needed to talk to me.  He said a quiet good bye, and handed the phone to
his mother.

As Kathy picked up the phone she told him to it was time to get dressed.  I
had this mental image of cute little Benji running around in pajamas or
even less.  I was snapped back to reality when she asked me if I was still
there, seems, I hadn't heard her when she said hello the first time.  I
apologized asked her to repeat herself.  She asked if I wanted to come over
for lunch around 11am.  I agreed and asked if there was anything I could do
or bring.  She laughed and said just myself.

It was a long 2 hours.  I spend most of it wondering why she asked me to
lunch.  Did she just want to talk some more, or was there another reason.
I had hoped after telling me about her brother (Matt) being a boylover,
most of the pitfalls could be avoided for all of us.  I guess I desperately
wanted to believe she could accept my relationship with her son, and let
Benji and I figure things out for ourselves.  I had no clue where things
were going, or just how far this relationship could go, but one thing I did
know, I enjoyed the time I spend with Benji and I was honest with myself
that I was falling inlove with him already, and hoped it would last a life
time.

I was just coming around the corner, when I spotted Benji outside waiting,
or at least I thought he was waiting.  Anyway, he ran up to me and gave me
a big hug, then walked me back to their place, and let me in.  I greeted
his mother, and thanked her for inviting me, when she grinned and said she
figured she would be seeing a lot of me from now on.  I blushed at that,
and Benji whined "Mom".  Kathy just chuckled and went into the kitchen to
finish lunch.

She said she was fixing spaghetti, and asked Benji to wash up then set the
table.  I asked if I could help any, and she said I could get the glasses
and drinks if I wanted.  This only being the forth time I've been in their
house I was hesitant at first, but slowly started to feel at home.  We got
everything to the table, and sat down to a very nice meal.

Maybe she really did understand, and accept our relationship.  Only time
would tell.  I just hoped if she had any concerns, she would talk them out
with me.  The last thing I wanted was to loose my relationship with Benji
over some misunderstand, or worry caused by the news media.

There was mostly idle talk, about inconsequential stuff, the weather, local
news, stuff like that.  Benji tried to be as much a part of the
conversation as he could, and I enjoyed listening to his ever word.  I
wondered if I was as articulate when I was his age.

We were just about finished with lunch, when Kathy asked me what plans I
had for the afternoon.  I told her I didn't have any, sense I was off from
work I was just staying home and relaxing.  She said she wanted to do some
shopping and asked if I would mind watching Benji.  I told her I wouldn't
mind at all (like I'm going to say no to spending time with someone I was
falling more and more inlove with each passing moment).  We finished lunch,
and Benji and I helped Kathy clean things up.  It wasn't much, mostly we
just put everything in the dishwasher, but I could see she appreciated it,
and liked the fact that Benji was helping with-out having to be asked.

With everything cleaned up, she said she would be off, only asking if we
went to my place or the pool, to please leaver a note.  She also gave me
her cell phone number, and said to call if anything came up, that she would
be back as quickly as she could.  I told her not to worry as I had no plans
but spending time with a special little boy.  That got me a great big smile
from Benji and a grin from Kathy.  As she was leaving, Benji asked me to
come to his room as he wanted to show me something.

I heard the front door close as we entered Benji's room.  I guess I
shouldn't have been surprised, but I was when instead of finding it a mess,
it was just as my own room would have been, neat and tidy.  I asked him if
he always keep his room this clean, to which he replied, he likes it this
way.  His mother hardly ever yells at him about cleaning his room and he
can easily find what he's looking for.

At first I was going to sit down on his bed, when he took my hand and drug
me over to his desk (not that I wouldn't go willingly).  He sat down, still
not letting go of my hand, and proceeded to tell me he had all but the last
Harry Potter book, and was hoping someday to have all the movies as well.
I asked him which he liked better, the books or the movies, to which he
replied the movies were great to watch, but the books gave more detail.  I
told him I had the first few movies and that maybe we could make a day of
it, and watch them together.  He said he liked that idea and asked when.  I
just told him we would have to wait and see.

I asked him what other interests he had, and we talked about some of the
things he enjoyed.  Seemed he liked swimming just as much as I did.
Enjoyed Sci-Fi and Fantasy books and movies.  Not much into sports, but
didn't mind playing them during PE and recess.  It had been about forty
minutes or so sense his mother had left, when he started getting antsy and
asked if we could go swimming again.  I told him that was a great idea and
suggested he go get changed.  He ran to the bathroom to slipped into his
trunks (apparently they were still in the bathroom from yesterday), and
came out looking wonderful.

We walked hand in hand over to my place so I could change.  It was great,
it felt so right just being with him and holding his hand.  I could never
understand people who allowed the romantic part of their relationship to
die, what was the point.  If there wasn't the lust for romance (instead of
sex) in the relationship, just what was the point, sex could be found
anywhere, but romance, that was something special you only find with
someone special.

As we were leaving my apartment to head to the pool, I asked Benji if he
wanted something to drink while we were out at the pool.  I gave him his
choices and he decided to take some caned ice tea.  I couldn't help it, as
I approached him to give him his can, I just had to run it down his back,
he squealed at the coldness and gave me another one of his "you'll get
yours" looks.  I knew I would have to be on my guard now.

When we got to the pool, the war was on.  As soon as we put down our
towels, Benji was trying to push me into the pool.  He wasn't having much
luck because I was bigger then him, but he sure wasn't lacking in effort.
Just for fun, I allowed him to edge me closer and closer to the pool, but
just as he thought he had me, I quickly moved out of the way, and his
momentum propelled him right into the pool.  It was hilarious, he came up
with this confused look on his face, like how in the world.  I jumped down
to join him all the while listening to him tell me how unfair it was
because I was bigger.  I teased him, by telling him that I had to get him
now when I could, because as he got older he would have the advantage.  You
could tell he liked that thought, as he got this evil look in his eye,
saying one of these days I would get mine.

We spent most of the time either playing in the pool or sitting in the
Jacuzzi.  It wasn't till Kathy showed up I realized my mistake.  I had
forgotten to leave a note, in my rush to have a swim with Benji, I forgot
the one thing she asked me to do.  She didn't look happy at all.  I
immediately jumped out of the pool to go apologize to her, telling her how
sorry I was.  I wasn't sure how she was going to react, but had a feeling
it was going to be bad because she just stood there looking at me.

Finally Benji came and joined us.  In a cheery voice he said "Hi mom, back
so soon."  With out taking her eyes off of me, she told him to get his
stuff he was coming home now.  I just stood there, I know I had broken her
trust and even worse, this would hurt Benji.  I tried again to apologize
but by this point I wasn't even sure she was listening to me.  I told a
very confused Benji I was sorry that maybe I could explain later, but for
now, he needed to go with his mother.

Having ruined the afternoon, I walked backed to my apartment, depressed and
alone.  First I told her I would do nothing to hurt Benji and here I was
causing him hurt and confusing.  Secondly she trusted me with his safety
and I let her down.  Sure it was just a note but I was smart enough to
realize she must have feared the worst (at least for a moment) at getting
home and not finding either of us, and no note.  I tried to call and speak
her but only got her machine, or voice mail.  I left a very apologetic
message, telling her how sorry I was and to please either let me explain
and apologize to Benji, or to at least make sure he know this was my fault
and that he and nothing to do with it.

It was several hours later, when I got a call from Benji.  I started to
apologize to him, when he asked what happened and why his mother was so
upset.  I explained to him that she had asked me to leave a note if we left
and in my rush to get out to the pool and have fun, I forgot.  He said it
wasn't a big deal, everyone was fine, but I explained to him, that it
wasn't alright, because his mother was probably very worried when she got
home and neither of us was there.  I was just about to explain he needed to
give her time, when I heard Kathy (in a very ruff voice) ask him what he
was doing on the phone.  He started to tell her who he was talking with,
when she grabbed the phone and hung it up.  The last thing I heard was her
telling him he was never to call me again.

It was two days later, I was getting home from work and saw Benji riding
his bike.  I waved to him, but he just kind of looked at me, not sure what
to do.  I could see in his eyes the sadness and hurt.  It tore me up inside
to know I was the cause.  I had to do something, I had to get Kathy to
forgive me and to find a way to make this up to both of them.  I knew
offering to do something for them, or take them some place, or buy them
dinner wouldn't work.  This wasn't about that, this was about her being
able to rely on me, to trust that if I said I would do something I would,
the only exception being a real emergency.

It was another day before I finally decided I just had to try and talk to
her again, up to this point she hadn't returned any of my calls, so no
matter what kind of scene it causes I would have to got to her place and
face what ever she felt I deserved.  This wasn't going to be easy, but
neither was being away from Benji.  I realized we hadn't known each other
that long, but in that short time a very strong bond grew and I couldn't
let it go.  I had to make Kathy realize that.

I waited till around four pm hoping I would catch Kathy home, not wanting
to call and have her leave.  It was the longest walk of my life.  While it
only took me ten minutes to get to their place from mine, it seemed like
hours and the weight of the world seemed to be on my shoulders at this
point.  I knocked on the door and waited.  Benji opened the door slowly at
first, but when he saw it was me, he opened it up all the way and gave me a
big smile.  It didn't last long, as soon as his mother saw it was me, she
yelled at him to close the front door, and go to his room.

I just stood there.  I could hear Benji crying and it all became to much.
I don't know what exactly happened, but a few minutes later I realized I
was sitting on the ground with my hands in my face crying just as much as
Benji.

To Be Continued...