Date: Fri, 22 Feb 2002 21:38:17 -0800
From: Rick Beck <bjwalkerjr@37.com>
Subject: Billie Joes Journal 11

Thanks to BP for editing assistance.

Billie Joe's Journal

02-20-02

Chapter 11
Sven's New Friend

	Having taken a job on a moving van after hitch hiking from Seattle,
I found myself in Fresno. Life was pretty easy with Ingmar, the truck
driver. We spent most of our time eating, sleeping, and driving. The job at
Bishop wasn't very big. We loaded furniture that filled less than half the
truck. I moved small tables, lamps, and boxes. Raymond worked hard. He
broke a sweat, and he didn't complain once. Ingmar and Sven carried the
heaviest items, and Raymond and Sven carried the smaller pieces while I
took inventory and kept the blankets ready for the furniture. Ingmar mostly
stayed in the trailer arranging and securing the furniture as fast as it
was loaded.

	We sat in Fresno two days. Ingmar said that was the nature of the
business. While in Bishop I had called my brother John and he told me he
had a letter from Carl. When I told him I had a job he was happy for me. He
said Dad would find that somehow a bit redeeming. Though nothing would
spare me from the beating of my life when my ass finally passed back
through the front door. Ingmar told him where to send the letter so we
could get it at a truck stop under his name. My brother promised he
wouldn't sick the law on me or tell Dad. He kept his word though Ingmar
went up to get the letter for me on the second day we were in Fresno.

	The first thing I saw was a Polaroid picture. I seized it from the
envelope and stared at the image of my love. I couldn't believe the image
of my love. He had on a green helmet pushed back far on his head, combat
boots with green socks sticking out of the top. He had a rifle in his arms
at a forty-five degree angle across his chest, and the only other thing he
had on were those dumb green boxers. What I wouldn't have given to have him
lose those boxers when they took that picture of him. I just stared at it
for a long time. I tried not to show my feelings. Then Raymond came behind
me and snatched it.

	"Jesus fucking christ. This is him? Lord have mercy. He's a stud. I
didn't believe you, Billie Joe."
	"Give me the fucking picture," I said, snatching it away.

	I read the letter keeping the picture under my thumb. I wanted him
to tell me how much he loved me and missed me, but he didn't say anything
about our relationship or the time we spent together. The boldest he got
was saying he missed me and expected me to be at the gate when he
returned. I guess you got to be careful what you write when you are a
marine, but the last sentences made it worth while. The picture made it a
treasure. I found a safe place for it inside a pouch in my bag. That was
the day I started writing him every day. I didn't mail them every day, but
I wrote something every day. Even if it was only about my aching back.

	We tossed a football around the second afternoon in Fresno while
Ingmar was trying to get more work. Sven took off his shirt and I was
surprised at the muscles he had. It turns out Sven was sixteen. I really
had a hard time believing anyone could be that big and that smart at
sixteen. I watched him move and something about him reminded me of
Carl. Maybe it was his size. Sven was a friendly guy always ready with a
smile. He even started being nice to Raymond after they loaded and unloaded
a truck together. I think, maybe Ingmar told him that we were all family
and that meant Raymond too. It was getting better and Raymond had all but
stopped running his mouth when he had nothing to say.

	Sven was always bringing me a soda or sharing something with me. I
liked that. He was like a big brother, only he wasn't that much older than
me. We joked and kidded around, and while we drove, we played chess or
checkers in the bunk. Raymond sometimes played and sometimes didn't. It was
after dinner at the end of the first week that Ingmar came to me. We walked
off in the back of the lot, and he seemed nervous. I don't know why it made
me uneasy, but it did. Ingmar was a bear of a man, but a more gentle soul
I'd never known. He was always gentle, and maybe he had to be less he would
crush things. I just liked him. He was easy to like.

	"You are being quite the young man, Billie. You seem so much older
than you are."
	"Tell that to my family."
	"Families are sometimes hard for the understanding. My father and I
are not getting along. Sven's father is being my brother and is the hard
man. He'll regret missing Sven growing up. Are you liking Sven? Sven is
treating you good, No?"
	"Yes! Sven is swell. I like him fine."
	"I am knowing you and Raymond are being friends, Billie. This is
easy for me to be seeing, and this talk is being about that. I am seeing
you with him. I mean doing the sleeping together. I am knowing of your fear
for the man who is doing those terrible things to you. It's not easy for me
to be talking of this to you, but I think I should be speaking to you."

	I started cringing. Ingmar had seen Raymond and I sleeping naked
together since we first started sleeping in his trailer. He'd seen me
holding Raymond most every night. He'd never mentioned it before. Now he
either wanted in on the action or he wanted to split us up. Either
proposition set wrong with me. I could feel the sexual tension around both
of us while he spoke. I really didn't want to hear any more. Raymond was
right. They all got around to wanting it sooner or later. I was suddenly
disappointed in Ingmar.

	"When I was being the boy in Sveden, I am working on my father's
farm. I am sleeping in the barn because it is being easier than being
around him at night. I am not being much older than you are now and younger
than Raymond when I am meeting the Thorsen. He is being a worker for my
father. He too is doing the sleeping in the barn.  "It was fine, warm, dry
most of the time. We got along. I guess he was twenty or maybe no. I never
knew how old he was. He is seeming old to me. It was maybe a month after he
is coming to work. One night he is coming over and pulling off the
blanket. He stood looking down. I am not knowing what this means. We are
being friends. I am knowing he is fine. He is asking then if he could lie
with me. I am saying he could. I am remembering like it is being
yesterday. We ended up much like you and Raymond at the night. We are being
young men and we are having the needs all all the time. In Sveden you see
this isn't such a problem, and so I am having no problem with you and
Raymond, but it is Sven that is being the worry for me."
	"Sven? He's objects to Raymond and I holding each other? We don't
do anything. Raymond's still hurting from being raped."
	"No! No, never, Billie. Sven is happy for you to be happy too. I
don't think he's too fond of Raymond, you see. His mouth you know is being
too sour. He is being too mean."
	"I know. I hope Sven doesn't take it personal. He's been like that
since I knew him."
	"No! Sven he's a good boy. I see him with you Billie Joe. I see
Sven's eye on you. I think he is looking like Thorsen did when he looked
upon me. I am knowing he is not with a girlfriend all the time. He never
has been much interested in things that are not for the study or some good
hard work for his back. He's a good boy, but he's being almost seventeen
now. I am thinking there is something inside him going on pretty good when
he's watching you Billie Joe. He is telling me this with his eyes."
	"What should I do?"
	"I'm telling you this from my heart. I do not know what it is you
should be doing. I know it is not beomg good he wants to look on you and
sees you and Raymond all the time together. He might like to be sleeping
closer maybe. That could be good for him, yes. I am not knowing this,
Billie Joe. I am saying this out of my concern. Sven is a good boy. I am
not wanting him denied things he could be wanting. I am knowing what
Thorsen is meaning to me. It was good for me. Very good for me. I like the
ladies now but I am being so big and awkward. They are not seeing Ingmar as
the husband. Only when I lift their icebox or carry their couch do they see
me as being the wonderful man. Then, I'm just Ingmar after the lifting is
being done."
	"Any woman would have a treasure if she married you Ingmar. I've
never met a person I thought was nicer or more gentle."
	"I'm only Ingmar, Billie. I know no other way to be. It is
me. That's all."
	"You'd still be a prize for anyone, Ingmar. They couldn't do
better."

	Ingmar's big hand grabbed the top of my head like he did a lot. He
hugged me to his side as we walked. There was nothing else said, but I
couldn't help but wonder what it would be like with someone like Sven. I
then thought of the picture of Carl and I couldn't wait to take it out when
I got back to the truck. I agreed with Ingmar that I shouldn't say anything
about our talk. I didn't know what to do about Sven but I would do
something. I liked him.

	We went to bed late. We sat on the tailgate of the truck and talked
late into the night. Raymond went to bed first and I followed. I heard Sven
come and start to undress in the pile of blankets on the other side of the
trailer from us. He always slept there alone and just out of sight.

	"Sven."
	"What?"
	"You okay?" I asked.
	"Sure. I'm fine."
	"I worry about you sleeping all alone over there. Why don't you
come and sleep with us."
	"You want me to sleep over there?"
	"Yeah! You're big and can furnish a lot of heat. Get's chilly at
night you know."
	"Yes, I do know. I get cold myself."

	I listened as he put his pants on and came to stand over the pile
of blankets where Raymond slept and I watched thinking of an image Ingmar
gave me from his boyhood. I lifted the blanket and Sven took the corner and
lie just close enough not to touch me. I could still feel the warmth from
his naked chest.

	"You'll be more comfortable if you take off your pants, Sven."
	"You think I should?"
	"I'm sure you should."

	There was too little light coming from the moon out of the open
doors of the trailer. I watched him turn over on his back and unzip and
undo his pants. He pulled them down to his knees and then off the bare
feet. The sharp white cotton of his briefs was all the detail I could see
back in the dark of the van. He lay closer and I could feel his chest
against my arm.

	"Are you comfortable?"
	"Very comfortable. Are you?"
	"This is nice. I've thought of this in the morning when I see you
and Raymond sleeping together."

	Once again I realized that Ingmar was right. He knew Sven and he'd
seen him wondering about Raymond and I.

	"Why didn't you say something?"
	"I don't know much about saying things about..., you know. I don't
know anything."
	"You mean sex."
	"Yeah. I've never.... I mean I don't.... I don't know what I mean."
	"It's better to say what's on your mind than to try to keep it
inside. I used to keep it inside, Sven."
	"You and Raymond are...  do you...."
	"No. Yes."
	"No yes what?"
	"No we aren't lovers. Yes we've done it a few times."
	"You are pretty bold with telling me."
	"It's what you want to know. I like you. I will answer your
questions."
	"Do you ever have people tell you they like you?"
	"Seldom. One. Now two with Raymond. I think possibly three with
you."
	"I know who two is. What about one?"
	"Got a few days. I'll tell you about every minute we spent
together."
	"I don't think I'd like that. Maybe we can talk about three."
	"Talk."
	"I don't know what to say."
	"Say let me fuck you and go to sleep. Will you two shut up. I'm
sleeping here. I work for a living."
	"Sorry, Raymond."
	"It's all right, Sven. You don't know any better. He does. I need
my beauty sleep."
	"You don't need any more sleep, Raymond," Sven said.
	"Is that a compliment I hear from the strong silent type. You've
hardly spoken all week."
	"That doesn't mean I'm blind. Just because you have a wise mouth
doesn't mean I don't find you attractive. I'm quiet not blind."
	"Okay! Okay! Stick him in the middle Billie Joe. That's the nicest
anyone's been to me in months, and he doesn't even like me."
	"I don't like the way you treat people."
	"Get in the middle, Sven," I said.
	"You think I should?"
	"He says you should. I say you should. What do you say?"

	Sven climbed over me brushing his long smooth legs across mine. The
front of his briefs rubbed my stomach. He was providing plenty of
heat. That was for certain. He lay flat on his back not touching either of
us as far as I could tell.

	"On Three Billie Joe. We hug him to death. One. Two. Can't wait to
three."

	Raymond and I crossed arms over Sven's chest. I could feel him
shaking. I was surprised Raymond just rested his face against Sven's chest
and started going back to sleep. I kept my arm around his waist and wanted
to do more, but Sven seemed to be relaxing with us touching him so I let
the moment pass and rested my face against him and drifted off to sleep.

	I woke up first and was surprised that the sun was shinning and
Sven wasn't gone. Usually whenever I woke in the morning he was already up
and out. I never saw him still in the blankets when I woke up. I turned to
see him in my position against Raymond. He still had on his briefs, but his
arms were around Raymond and his front was pressed right up to Raymond's
naked butt. I couldn't believe how beautiful that looked. They seemed to be
so comfortable. I saw Ingmar walk past the back of the truck and I pulled
on my pants and headed out putting on my shirt.

	"You are up, Billie."
	"Yeah! Just woke up."
	"Sven he's still sleeping?"
	"Yes."
	"I see you got him to sleep with you. I'm happy it is working
out. I'm glad I am speaking up."
	"I don't think he was sleeping with me. I think he has eyes for
Raymond."
	"He doesn't like Raymond," Ingmar said surprised.
	"I think you ought to go take a peak. Sven may have changed his
mind."

	Ingmar came back shaking his head, "I thought it was you he is
having the eyes for. You are so much more, more. I am sure it is you he is
wanting to be close to."
	"Maybe, but he must have changed his mind last night. We did kind
of lie all over him. Nothing happened though. I mean we just hugged him. He
seemed to be comfortable with that."

	"He is growing up. I am thinking I'm knowing him better but maybe
not with the matters of the heart. Raymond? I'm not believing that. Coffee,
Billie?"
	"Yes."

	We loaded the truck that afternoon and the following morning in
Bakersfield on a load going to Salinas. Ingmar said a good load was coming,
but we needed to wait. The short small runs kept us alive while we
waited. Raymond and Sven were both quiet and did the work. I inventories
the load and took care of the blankets. Ingmar took Raymond's place with
the big items, but almost everything else Raymond handled without
complaint. By dark we were well over half done. Ingmar said it was too
dangerous at night, and we lounged in and out of the truck while deciding
what to get for dinner. Ingmar unhooked from the trailer van and took me
with him. We left Sven and Raymond sitting on the tailgate talking.

	The chicken, burgers, fries and cokes were plentiful. Ingmar sat on
the ground peeling off pieces of chicken and feeding a stray dog that
wasn't sure about the chicken or the large hands that held it. Only the tip
of his nose and mouth got close enough to take the food. Raymond and Sven
leaned on opposite sides at the back of the van. They were obviously worn
out, but still managed to look at each other most of the time. Sven had
taken off his shirt while we were gone, and his chest was full and
thick. His shoulders bulged from carrying furniture. His waist was almost
tiny. There were fine blond hairs on his arm, but none I could see in the
dim light furnished by a single lamp run from the house to the rear of the
truck.

	Raymond dozed after a time, and the work obviously took its toll on
him. After about eight he disappeared into the truck without saying
goodnight. Sven and Ingmar talked of family and friends. They liked to
laugh together. I hadn't made up my mind if I wanted to go to bed with
Raymond or wait for Sven to go to bed with Raymond. I wanted to sleep away
from them since they seemed interested in each other. No one said anything
and I yawned and stretched while sitting on the now cooling concrete curb
and resting my hands in the cool blades of grass beside the truck. Finally
Sven got up and said good night and disappeared in the truck. His back
showed the same muscles as his chest, shoulders and arms.

	Ingmar said good night and went to read in his bunk. I slipped
quietly inside the truck and moved blankets to a pile where Sven usually
slept. I left on my briefs and curled up without a blanket on top. It was
much warmer in this part of the state. Even the nights took time to cool. I
listened for Raymond and Sven, but didn't hear anything until they started
giggling. I smiled but still felt left out. I went on the road to stop
feeling alone, and now I was feeling very much alone. I wanted to get out
the picture of Carl, but it was too dark to see it.

	"We got bad breath or something," Raymond said, while I drifted in
my thoughts.
	"What?"
	"Get your skinny ass over here where you belong. You divorce us or
something?"
	"I just thought."
	"You aren't as clever as you think, Billie Joe. No one wants you to
be over there alone but you."

	I could see Raymond holding Sven's big arm as I stood over them
with my blanket in hand. Sven grabbed my arm and pulled me on top of both
of them where they slapped my chest and stomach with their hands. They
laughed as I tried to wiggle away when they started tickling me. I hadn't
been tickled since I was ten. I was afraid I'd embarrass myself from being
touched.

	We ended up wrestling, but being out manned and out gunned I mostly
tried to keep from being tickled to death. My hand slid down on Sven's
manhood and it shocked me when I felt the naked hair and then the almost
hard result of our physical contact. I froze still holding him trying to
see his face for some reaction. I was there. I wanted to know what he
thought about it.

	"You're naked," I said, shocked for some reason when Sven guided me
down in-between them.
	"Don't look at me. Raymond did it this morning. He said either to
take them off or get out of his bed. I wasn't ready to get up then."
	"You didn't have any trouble getting up, Sven," Raymond said
playfully.
	"You're telling secrets, Raymond. You said we wouldn't mention it."
	"Secrets? That's Billie Joe you're talking about. He's been
sleeping with his dick up my ass for the last week. I doubt it is a secret
when guys sleep with their arms around each other. Could be a sure sign
something is going on."
	"Nothing is going on, Raymond. Not this minute anyway." Sven
laughed at his own comment as he pressed his body against mine.

	Sven's had the same skin as Raymond's. It seemed tighter and was
barely on the head at all when I touched it. I expected him to be more
reluctant, maybe squirm or move away, but he leaned back on his hands
looking at me lying across his legs with my head on Raymond's stomach and
holding onto his pride I was still contemplating my options. Raymond's hand
touched the side of my face as we all grew silent at the same time. It was
just a lot of breathing and the heat of the night seemed to be growing. I
don't think any of us were really sure what we were going to do.

	"We should put Sven in the middle, Billie Joe."
	"What for?"
	"We're going to make a sandwich out of him. What do you think?"
	"Make a what?" I said.
	"Two pieces of bread on the outside. The meat on the
inside. Sandwich. Don't they have Home EC in Minnesota?"
	"You're nuts. What's Sven say?"
	"I don't have much to say right now. You're making it hard to
resist."
	"Billie Joe has that effect on people. He comes off as this
innocent little boy, but he's always where the meat is."
	"Fuck you, Raymond. If I had your experience I'd have to use
clothespins to keep it shut."
	"You little, fuck," Raymond said, grabbing my hair.

	We started wrestling again and I only let go of Sven after we
shifted our positions so that Sven ended up facing Raymond and I slid down
beside him pressing myself into his back with my arms around him. He was
even bigger when I held him in my arms than when I looked at him. I had to
put my arm under his to reach around his chest half way.

I kept on my underwear but my best part was pressed into the crack of
Sven's butt. I put my face just under his shoulder blades and liked the
warmth coming from him.

` I felt comfortable and relaxed. I could feel Raymond's hair next to my
hand as his face lie on Sven's chest. Then I could hear Sven through his
back. The moaning was a vibration through his skin. Raymond's hair moved up
and down against my hand as I could hear him slurping up and down on
Sven. I placed my hand on Sven's stomach and felt that telltale quiver.

The more Raymond sucked, the more intense it got. Sven was panting without
restraint. His chest was like he was a man running. I slid my hand down
into the hair and felt the wet results from the action I listened to. I let
my fingers wrap around it, and pulsing vibrations passed on to me. I rubbed
my front into Sven's crack. I knew I was straining against my briefs. His
hips now rolled slightly causing more heat to rise inside of me as the
crack moved up and down on me. My head grew light and the warmth just
rolled over me. I squeezed him and felt Raymond's lips on my hand as I
stroked in small motions so I didn't disrupt the flow.

	Sven's rear forced itself back against me in a quick motion and my
fingers felt the warm moist crack.

	"You better quit it Raymond. I'm going to do it now. Raymond, I
can't stopahh... Ahh!... AHHHH!... AHHHHH!"

	I could feel him shivering and shaking. Raymond's slurping grew
more greedy. Sven took in massive amounts of air as he gasped, rolling a
little bit back on me.

Sven blew out a gush of air while shaking violently like he was having some
kind of seizure. Every muscle had tensed in his body. He shook more but
there was no breathing except inside of his tight moaning sounds.

I fell asleep pressed close against Sven's back while he was in recovery.

	I woke up some time later and Raymond was in the middle with his
mouth busy on my stiffness. It's not a bad way to wake up and it was his
specialty. Where was Sven? It only took a second to place the scene into
perspective. Sven was behind Raymond grunting and groaning into the ceiling
of the trailer. I could feel Sven's lustful thrust transferring from
Raymond's mouth into my shaft.

	Sven and I used Raymond to communicate our lust to one
another. Raymond seemed the perfect conduit for love. He had no limits that
I could identify. His main aim was to drain us dry. I found no objection to
him making the effort. The only surprise for me was how Sven so
wholeheartedly took up with us. The shy boy was anxious to prove himself to
his new friends. I started to believe he might be part Energizer bunny.

	We lie there for a few minutes after all of us were spent and
trying to find a way to breath easier. I selected this time to fall asleep.

	Later that morning I woke up with the light just starting to come
through the back of the trailer. There was no headache this time and I
actually felt good. I could see cars in the distance turning off a street
as the sleep left my eyes. I lay there for a minute zoning on the prospects
of a new day.

I felt the motion next to me before I heard them. I looked and Raymond was
on top of Sven and Sven was once again, or still, deep up inside him. Sven
was on his back and Raymond was slowly sliding up and down on him. They'd
found a rhythm that was almost imperceptible as Raymond leaned back against
Sven's bent legs, sliding up off of Sven before easing back down on him in
easy motions.

Sven held Raymond's waist and seemed to be helping him come up and off him
before he prevented him from coming back down on him at any speed but the
one he selected. I saw the thickness of him that I could only feel in the
night. It shinned and seemed too large for Raymond to engulf, but engulf it
he did, over and over again. They practiced the motion because if they had
been serious, how could they go so agonizing slow. I waited for them to
jerk into a slamming and punishing motion that might get them there, but
the speed never increased as they worked in perfect harmony. They either
didn't know or didn't care that I had awakened to their love making.

After watching for five minutes, Raymond issued several long leaping
streams of sperm onto Sven's sweaty chest. As Sven became aware of
Raymond's condition, he held Raymond's waist so he was tightly screwed on
to him and then came the three complete drives into the pale boy's
innards. Then Sven started to shake with his eyes rolling back in his
head. Their sounds were muted but that didn't hide their intensity.

They stared into each other's eyes and Raymond just sat there on him with
his spent cock leaning down on Sven's flat belly. He seemed too tired to
move but finally he eased off Sven's flaccid member and curled into his
arms. They were both sleeping in the next minute or two. It was like I had
become invisible. They had forgotten I was in their life, and close by.

	We must have made quite a picture for Ingmar. The next time I
opened my eyes to find him standing over me.

	"Wake them. Don't be letting them know I am coming in. It's time
for the working."

	I watched Ingmar walk away. He was totally unscathed by his nephew
and Raymond lying naked in one another's arms.

Why couldn't my parents be like him?

	"Sven!" I said and his eyes opened and were on me. "Ingmar just
yelled for us. Time to go to work."

	The weariness was etched into Sven's face. He looked twenty again,
like the first day we'd met. He wrapped his arms around Raymond's chest,
hugging him back toward him.

	"Again," Raymond moaned. "We just finished."
	"That was hours ago. We've been sleeping," Sven said, sure of
himself.

	I knew it had been no more than five minutes. It didn't seem to
matter to Sven as he kissed Raymond's neck passionately.

	"I'll blow you this time," Raymond said.
	"I wish. It's time to work. That takes too long."
	"Just a few minutes won't hurt. Just let me do it a few
minutes. Work ain't going nowhere," Raymond said grinding his rear into
Sven's front.
	"We need to work. Ingmar might come in. He might not understand
this."
	"That's what I said. Just for a few minutes. Then we'll get to
work."

	I watched them trying to link up with Sven's semi-erect penis
wiggling like a Polish sausage while he tried to mount him. Raymond looked
over his shoulder at him and Sven leaned forward to kiss his lips in a
peck. Their arms and legs were woven together in some puzzle of tangling of
limbs. I had again become invisible to the lovers as they nuzzled one
another.


					*****


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