Date: Mon, 16 Feb 2004 18:25:14 -0800 (PST)
From: gaymormonwriter@yahoo.com
Subject: Born To Be A Missionary Chapter 7      adult/youth  relationships

Born To Be A Missionary
Chapter 7

From Jim's perspective:

It has been a couple of weeks since Tyler came out. Jim says he does well
at the Gay Teen Center in Montrose and he also enjoys church on Sunday at
the MCC. Tyler is scheduled as my next patient and I am really happy with
his progress. I went out to the waiting room and brought Tyler into my
office. This time he sits on the couch at my end.

"How are things going, Tyler since last week?"

"Well, things seem to be going pretty good. I started at the Gay Teen
Center and Rick really is a nice guy. He showed me around and then spent
the day teaching me how to work with kids. I sat in on a group discussion
with about 10 teen boys and that was interesting. Rick thinks after a
couple of weeks I might be able to chair the discussion. We will see."

"How about work?"

"Things are fine there."

"Are you out at work?"

"Only to Kenny my roommate and he promised not to say anything. He has been
really nice about it. Do you think I need to come out at work?"

"That is strictly up to you. Only if you feel safe and only if that is what
you really want to do. You don't have to. Sometimes it is better not to
burden your co-workers with information that they might not want to
hear. Do you really want to know about their sexuality and conquests?"

"No, not really."

"I know you talked to your Dad, have you heard from him since?"

"Yeah, he called me, ask how I was doing. He told me the home front was
still struggling. He continued to ask me to be patient."

"You have to be. Your family will not accept you probably for quite
awhile. I have a feeling that there are few of them that have some anger
issues with you for the way you handled everything."

"I know."

"Your parents are coming in this afternoon. Bishop Green encouraged them to
come see me. I will do what I can to help, Tyler."

"I know you will."

"Did you finish HARLAN'S RACE yet?"

"Yeah I did, I liked it better than THE FRONT RUNNER."

"You wont' believe this, but there is another sequel."

"Really. Cool. I want to read it."

I got up and went over to my bookshelf and pulled out BILLY'S BOY.

"Here it is. Take your time reading it."

"Okay."

"Any word on Gary?"

"Yeah, I asked my Dad to help when he called he hired a P.I. to find
him. We got the report back last night. I know where he is."

"That's good news. What are you going to do now?"

"Like you said, I have to go see him. The report was sort of sad as he has
had a lot of bad luck the last couple of years. He has been sick, Doc, he
almost died. He is living with his mother in Illinois. He is out of work
and is not seeing anyone. I have arranged for my time off and I leave
tomorrow for Illinois."

"Are you driving, Tyler?"

"Yeah. Doc, I don't think I know what to say to him."

"I know that feeling. When Rick drove down from Ohio, I had a couple of
days to consider what I wanted to say to him. I knew when he arrived it
would be the first time seeing him as a gay man and him seeing me. When he
got there, we just looked at each other. Rick had the same problem, he
didn't seem to know what to say. We stood there looking at each for a few
minutes, then Rick put his bags down and put his arms around me, kissed my
cheek and told me he loved me. It was exactly the same thing I did to him
when I left him to return home from my mission. So, it will be the moment
that speaks."

"I hope so".

"Don't rush him. He needs time to think, if he lets you talk to him tread
lightly to start. Then go with your feelings, okay."

"Okay."

"Have you stayed away from the park, Tyler."

"Yes. I am not going back. I am hoping Gary will let me back into his life
and I want to be able to tell him that I have been tested, and again after
I came out.  That I am negative, that I still need to be tested for awhile
to make sure. I have seen how you and Rick are and I want that, with Gary."

"Even with the age difference?"

"I can't help it Doc, I am attracted to middle aged guys. I don't' know
why, it is kind of weird isn't it?"

"No, a lot of young guys are attracted to older guys. Besides, didn't you
tell me your older brother and sister married older spouses?"

"Yeah, they did."

"There you go, runs in the family, don't you think?"

"Yeah, I guess you're right."

"Our hour is up, any questions?"

"No."

"Tyler, I am going to give you my cell phone number just in case you need
to ask me anything when you are in Illinois, okay?"

"Sure."

Tyler got up, took the card and we hugged each other. Then he turned to me.

"Doc, I have wanted to ask, but, I wasn't sure...well anyway...how did you
know about Gary and me?"

"I didn't know for sure. It seemed like you were leaving something out when
you talked about Gary. I re-read my notes and remembered you had said that
you had met all your sexual encounters at the park except one, so I guessed
that might have been Gary. I am glad I figured it out because you seem so
much happier since you came out."

"I am. I was tired of trying to keep it together. When I started seeing
you, I figured it would probably be like all the others. But, it
wasn't. You wouldn't let me off the hook, you kept after me. I think you
used the book to get to me and it worked. I am glad it did."

"Well, that's good, Tyler. I did use the book to give you an idea how a gay
relationship develops between an older man and younger man. I wanted you to
read about how sex could be and mean more than a quick trick with no
emotion involved. With Rick and I, we already loved each other as friends,
when we got together, we took our time for our love to grow
romantically. After 13 years, the romance is still there, we are always
coming up with something that surprises the other.  What Rick and I have
continues to grow. You might have a chance with Gary, but it's up to you
two to figure that out. You have to consider the fact that he might have
been hurt by your rejection of him and may not be over it, it is just a
possibility."

"Okay, doc, I will keep that in mind. See ya next week." With that he was
out the door. Two hours later, I went out to the waiting for his parents.

"Mr. And Mrs. Miller, come in."

Tyler's mother and father were already over 50, his mother was an
attractive woman, her hair had gone gray, her eyes were brown like Tyler's,
very slim, and held herself well. Tyler's father was still handsome,
graying at the temples, blue eyes, probably not as slender as he would like
and he seemed like a strong, determined man. Tyler's parents sat on my end
of the couch, next to each other.

"Mr. And Mrs. Miller, I will probably do most of the talking, I have
Tyler's permission to discuss his situation with you. Hopefully, you will
feel comfortable enough to come back so we can work towards bringing the
family back together again. I am glad you came in. I know you have had a
rough three years. You are not alone. You are not the first Mormon parents
to have a homosexual child. I know Mrs. Miller you have a lot anger towards
Tyler. Understandably. Your anger is justified by the way he manipulated
the events of the last 3 years. Mrs. Miller, are you angry at Tyler for
being homosexual?"

"I really hate that word...homosexual," she said.

"Why?"

"It is perversion. It is wrong according to the scriptures and the church."

"You know I am Mormon as well. I understand the position the church has on
homosexuality. It is clear. But the position is with the individual, not
the whole family. No where have I read does the church state that you cast
our your son from the family. Remember the church saying...love the sinner,
hate the sin? When it applies the same way. You don't have to like that
Tyler is homosexual. Tyler did not choose to be gay."

"From all of the church information I have, I believe it is a "choice" in
behavior, not something you are born with."

"So, all the information you have on homosexuality is from the church?"

"Yes."

"Well, in my opinion, the church is a little too bias. If the church took
the stance that an individual is born with it, then they will have to
accept homosexuals into the congregation. Then you are going to have,
besides singles wards, gay wards. That just isn't what they don't want. The
church is firm in it's resolve. It also has to be hypocritical in order to
keep that resolve. I am sure you know that other churches are dealing with
the issue."

"Yes, it is just wrong. I look at Tyler as a sinner against God, it goes
against everything I have ever believed in. My faith is undeniable."

"I understand. Do you love Tyler?"

"I don't know, anymore."

"Why are you here."

"Because my husband told me we had to do this."

"Why do you think he feels that way?"

"He wants the family back together the way it used to be."

"Is that what you want as well and if you do, does that include Tyler or
not include Tyler?"

"I don't' know."

"Did you know Tyler attempted suicide?"

The look on her face told me she didn't know. Her husband took her hand in
his.

"No, I didn't know," then she turned to her husband, "Did you know?"

"Yes. I stopped him once. He had my shotgun."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"You had enough to deal with."

"Did he try other times?", she asked me.

"Yes."

Mrs. Miller brought her hands to her face and quietly cried as her husband
put his arm around her.

"Did you know Bishop Green's brother was gay?"

She looked up at me. "No, I didn't' know."

"He was, the parents rejected him, threw him out. After Kent came home from
his mission, his brother committed suicide."

"Oh, my, that's terrible."

"It torn the family apart. Kent's mother blamed his father. His father was
so ridden with guilt he turned to drinking. Kent's other brothers went to
live with their grandparents. Kent spent much of his college years trying
to help his family. Kent got his father help with the drinking. He tried to
get his mother into counseling, but she refused. She was bitter the rest of
her life. It pretty much consumed her. Kent's mother never did forgive her
husband, not even before she died. The point to this is the church was of
little help."

"What do you mean?"

"The church had issued it's position on homosexuality. Even in the church
video on the subject, it points to the individual. The bishops are left to
deal with the consequences of families in turmoil. Some fathers, as
priesthood holders, believe they should rid the family of the individual in
the name of the scriptures and the church. The gay individual is suspended
from church, eventually excommunicated. The family never heals and neither
does the individual. All are suffering."

Mrs. Miller is nodding her head like she is accepting what I am saying.

"I think the most important thing you have to understand is this...loving
your son is not against Heavenly Father or the church. Turning your back on
him is. The church preaches so much about "family" and "faith" that
sometimes the messages are too overwhelming. Your faith has been tested
here. Your love for Tyler has been tested. Your faith in your husband has
been tested. Your faith in Heavenly Father has been tested. Loving your son
does not mean you approve of what he does. Tyler is not asking for that. He
is asking you to still love him as he is. Your son. Tyler never had that
"choice" to be gay or straight, that was determined for him, just like
Tyler is right handed, that was determined for him.  His only "choice" for
his life was to live with it or not. If you had to make that "choice" for
him, what would you decide?"

"I...ah...I couldn't...I...I...."

"Tyler's alive. He has chosen to live his life as his nature has
determined. I am going to give you some reading material, not published by
the church, that might help you. I have given you a lot to think about. I
know that you will be praying a good deal, hoping for answers. When you are
ready to come back and talk to me, call. I am not going to pressure you. My
job is to help families and time is something we have a lot of in this
case."

"Okay." she said.

"Mr. Miller, I would like an opportunity to meet with Travis. Will you have
him give us a call to set up an appointment?"

"Sure. Why Travis?"

"It is part of working with the family. Travis and Tyler have some
unresolved issues. I think you know, before Travis left for his mission, it
was Travis that Tyler was the closest to in the family. Tyler would like to
have that relationship back with his brother. I hope that I can help in
that regard."

"Okay. I will and thank you doctor. My wife and I have a lot to talk
about."

**********************************************************************************************

My afternoon completed with the appointment with the Millers. I thought
back to when I told my parents I was leaving Sara and why. My father asked
"why now?" I told him I didn't' know. It just the way it turned out. Though
my practice included parents dealing with such information, he was so weird
actually doing this with my own. My parents, accepted me and their lives
went on. I understand they do not approve of my being gay, they accept me
for me. They tolerate Rick when we go see them. Rick, huh, I love thinking
about Rick. When I get home, I have a need to do something. I realize I am
totally horny.

I pull in the drive and I see Rick in the garage. We say "hi" to each other
and I flipped the switch to close the garage door. There are no windows in
the door.

"What's up," Rick asks.

"You will be." I said as I reach for him, push onto the hood of his truck,
I grabbed his zipper, reached in and pulled out his flaccid cock. Like a
vacuum I inhale his cock. I don't care about taking my time. I am on a
mission to get him off and quickly. His cock became hard quickly as I
pushed his foreskin back and attacked his cock head. I looked up at him and
he had this "shit eating" grin on his face. I rammed his cock into the back
of my mouth and then used my lips to stroke his skin. He didn't disappoint,
he came fast and hard. When I got the last of his cum, we stood up. His
cock still hanging out of his pants. We embraced and kissed each other. I
never tire of a Rick kiss. Our lips parted and Rick moved his mouth to my
ear. "Jim, what would you like me to do to you", he said has he massaged my
cock through my pants. "Surprise me, lover." And did he.

He turned me around onto the truck. Pulled my pants and underwear down. My
cock was hard and pointing right at him. He started by sucking my cock
head, running his tongue over the gland like I like it. He let my cock slip
from my mouth and looked up at me with that same "shit eating" grin. I
heard him drag his tool box over towards us. Hmmm. I figure I am in trouble
now. Rick goes back to sucking my cock. I could hear him doing something,
but I couldn't tell what his hands were doing. Then I felt something at my
hole, and it was greased and it wasn't his fingers and it was trying to go
in. I couldn't imagine what the heck Rick had at my hole. It started it's
slow pressure. It wanted in me.  Rick continued to suck my cock with great
vigor. It slipped in, damn it was big. It filled me up all the way. Then it
started to vibrate, damn, he had it right on my prostate. Rick's pace on my
cock continued, with one hand on the vibrating whatever and his other hand
pumping my cock while his mouth played havoc with my cock gland. To say I
got lost in the moment is putting it mildly. I was consumed. Rick's whole
body was centered on what he was doing to my ass and cock.

When I came, it was incredible as I held on to the side of the truck hood,
I shot cum load after another into Rick's greedy mouth, his hand still
stroking my ass with the vibrator, it was a ride I didn't' want to end.

I finally came down from my high. Rick was lingering on my cock, soothing
it with his lips, his hand motions at my ass had stopped, put the object
was still in me. I looked down at him. Seeing him with my cock in his mouth
always exciting.

"What do you have in your hand there, Rick?"

He looked at me and wiggled my cock at me.

"I know what is in that hand Rick, my love, but what are you hiding with
the other hand."

Rick smiled with a big grin, even with my cock in his mouth. Slowly I felt
the object leaving my rectum. When it had exited, Rick slowly brought it
into view. It was a 10 inch dildo. Pretty thick.  I figured since it filled
me up pretty good. My cock slipped from Rick's mouth. I slid down to my
feet in front of him, his cock was still hanging out of his pants. I
wrapped my arms around him and kissed the sneaky lover of mine. Our lips
parted.

"How long have you had that thing out here in the garage?"

Rick looked at me, smiling like he always does when he surprises me.

"I have had it out here about a week. I figured eventually you would be out
here in the garage. Your blow job was very nice. Thank you."

"Hmmm. Sex in the garage, is there no room sacred in our house Rick?"

"No."


End of Chapter 7