Date: Thu, 29 Oct 1998 19:57:23 EST
From: Gojackgo@aol.com
Subject: Boy Gets A Father

    In the summer of 1973, I was just a boy, fourteen and growing. Having had
an absebtee father for most of my life, I'd become a rather independent young
man, making most of my decisions on my own. I think during that period, I was
subconsciously running from the pain I felt inside, and desperately wanted a
male figure in my life. From the time I was a young boy, I loved being in the
company of men. During those earlier years, before my parents divorced, I can
remember Dad always being in the garage or driveway, working on something. I
would cheerfully follow him about as he worked, gratefully supplying wrenches,
grease rags, and beers as needed. My father was a tall, strong man, sure of
himself and his masculinity. He had many friends in the neighborhood, older
men in their 40's who enjoyed getting together with him regularly to laugh,
drink beer, and talk mantalk. I can remember the admiration I felt for these
men, most of them strongly-built, rugged blue collar types, and I would beam
with pride when they would take the time to chat with me, or pick me up and
play with me in the front yard. My father, however, rarely spoke to or noticed
me, and I think a few of his friends picked up on my loneliness and would make
a point to pay extra attention to me. I loved the boost it gave me, often
wishing that I could trade my father for one of his friends. As the years
passed, my father and mother grew more distant, and my dad began to drink
more, often staying out all night, probably to avoid the tension at home. By
the time I was fourteen, my mother had divorced him and sent him on his way. I
think the tremendous loss I felt over that, combined with the realization that
I was attracted to men, propelled me into a misguided pattern of seeking sex
to accomodate for that love I was never able to get from my father.

    One summer morning, a couple of days after my fourteenth birthday, I
recieved a phone call from Dan, who lived on the corner of our block and had
been a  very close friend of my father's years before. Dan was doing some
minor landscaping
in his yard, and needed some help. Dan told me that he would pay me ten
dollars and let me go swimming afterward with him in his backyard. Being the
young entrepreneur that I was, I immediately agreed, but I think that
subconsciously, it was the prospect of an afternoon swim with him that reeled
me in. Within five minutes I was down the block and on hands and knees in the
dirt, helping Dan to plant some large trees. He seemed to enjoy my company,
asking me questions about how I was spending my summer, next year in school,
etc. We worked playfully in the dirt, his big, powerful tatooed arms lifting
the trees and easing them into the deep holes he had dug while I scampered to
pack the dirt back around them and keep up with him. In another hour we were
done, soaked in sweat and fresh black soil. He told me to help carry his tools
to the backyard shed, where we could rinse off under the hose. After closing
the shed door, Dan walked over to the waterhose and kicked off his shoes,
turning on the hose. He told me to strip down and that he would hose the dirt
from me before I got into the pool. I pulled off my shirt and then began
unzipping my shorts and suddenly stopped, my eyes nervously darting around the
backyard. Dan laughed, telling me not to worry. He said that he often swam in
the nude, having built the fence high so as to protect his privacy. I eased up
a bit, and shyly stepped out of my shorts and briefs. I stood there, feeling
inadequate and awkward in front of him. The only man who had ever seen me
naked was my father, and I stared at the ground, not sure what to do. Sensing
my youthful bashfulness, Dan began unzipping his blue coveralls, and stepped
out of them, so that we were in equal positions. However, to a fly on the
wall, there would have been nothing equal about this compromise. Dan stood
six-foot-two, bald and rugged, a well-built man of 45. His broad shoulders
were wildly covered with thick, dark fur which spread even more thickly down
his chest and belly, and led to a thick bush of pubic hair surrounding his
limp, uncircumcised penis, its grayish-purple head slightly protruding. I
didn't know if I was more excited or ashamed by the dark feelings that began
running through me, making me tingle inside. Dan motioned me over to the side
of the shed and then ran the hose over the front of me, the cool water washing
away the grass and dirt from my body. He stepped inward as I turned my back to
him. I felt the water on my back, and the feel of his big, roughly-textured
but gentle hand on my shoulder. I loved standing there in this moment of
bonding between a man and a boy, open, honest, and naked before one another. I
had never experienced anything quite this deep, and even though it was still
an innocent exchange between us at that point, I was fully aware of the great
jackoff material it was supplying me for later.
    
    Now Dan stood there against the side of his toolshed, face to face with
me, and the hose was in my hand. As I sprayed the water over him, he closed
his eyes and I grabbed the opportunity to ogle his incredibly manly body. He
stood there, comfortable and confident in his nakedness, and deep inside, I
found myself hoping to someday become even half the man that he was. He
flipped around and put his arms on the shed walls, furry legs spread wide as
if in frisk position. His back was strong from hard work and seemed even
hairier than his front side, if that were possible. Leaves and blades of grass
nested snugly in his back hair, and in a moment of sudden boldness, I ran my
free hand over that furry back, loosening them as they slid down his body to
the ground. It sent a powerful adrenalin rush through me, warming my ears and
chest, and I could feel my heart pounding in my head, much like the effect of
poppers. Moments later we were in the pool, splashing and laughing together
like a father and son. Though I was extremely aroused by Dan's nudity, I was
on cloud nine, experiencing affection from a man for the first time. It deeply
moved me, and I took every available opportunity to make physical contact with
him. He offered me a horseback ride across the pool, and I immediately climbed
onto him, burying my face in his back fur and wrapping my arms around his
thick, stocky body. Dan darted to and fro in the pool, my nude body clinging
to his, and I suddenly found myself erect against him. Dan made for the side
of the pool to rest, with me still clinging to him. I think at that moment he
realized what was going on, and I could sense his sudden uneasiness. Fearing I
was about to be booted from his house forever, I quickly planted a kiss on his
shoulder, rationalizing that if I was going to lose him, I was at least going
to confess my feelings for him. Dan gently loosened my grip and I slid off of
him, not knowing what to expect next. He remained quietly facing the side of
the pool, his big arms resting on the edge. I suddenly felt dirty, guilty and
ashamed of myself. I had crossed the line with him, turning an innocent
invitation into an uncomfortable situation. Stammering and on the edge of
tears, I apologized profusely to Dan, begging him not to tell anyone. I even
told him to forget the ten dollars that I had worked for. Then Dan turned
around slowly to face me, a tear running form his blue eyes. I was crushed. I
felt that I had really taken advantage of him and told him I was sorry again.
I turned to get out of the pool, prepared to run home and never look back,
when Dan put a hand on my shoulder and held me in place. Looking at me with
complete seriousness, he said that I should come inside with him, there was
something I needed to know.

    I followed him out of the pool, and he walked toward the house. He said
that we could get dressed later, so I followed him inside, still half-scared
that this big, tatooed, hairy monument to manhood was going to pummel me to
death once inside. In his kitchen, he reached into his refrigerator, pulling
out a six pack of Schlitz, and motioned me into his living room. He pulled two
beers loose and handed me one, and we sat quietly for a moment. After what
seemed like an eternity, Dan spoke. "You and your father were never very
close, but you are more like him than you think." I wondered what my father
had to do with all this. Over the next few minutes, I learned some things that
I was not prepared for. Dan tried to be as gentle as possible, not wanting to
overwhelm me. In a nutshell, he explained that he and my father had once been
very close. They often took off together for weekends of hunting or fishing,
and somehow along the way had become romantically involved. I was certainly
not prepared for this revelation, and was unsure how to feel, but I remained
calm and listened as he went on. Dan told me that they were involved for a few
years, getting together whenever possible. Apparently my father and Dan had
some very deep feelings between them, but it eventually fell apart because
both men were afraid of coming out. But the biggest barrier had been my
father. Though Dan brought to him something deep inside that he couldn't find
elsewhere, my dad was incredibly and completely unable to deal with his
sexuality and feelings of guilt. This played a huge part in my dad's quiet,
isolated manner and contributed to the deterioration of his marriage to my
mother, though she was unaware of his homosexual tendencies. I was amazed by
what I heard, suddenly feeling bad for my father, suddenly understanding a
part of him. I was even more surprised when Dan told me that, during their
more private times, my father was capable of great and deep affection, feeling
safe to open up to Dan. There was some actual depth to this man who I had
always seen as a wall of steel; quiet, cold and impenetrable. I learned from
Dan that my dad had talked to him a great deal about me. According to him, my
father loved me very much and asked Dan if he would take custody of me if he
was ever killed. Dan had agreed. At this point, I don't think all of the
things Dan told me had really sunken in, but I suddenly felt closer than ever
to Dan, realizing that we both were hurting deeply over the inaccessability of
my father, though in two very different ways.

    Dan opened another beer and patted the sofa cushion next to his. I walked
over and he put his arms around me, pulling me to him. He said that even
though he had just laid some very heavy things on me, he did it because our
awkward moment in the pool had shown him something that told him I was quickly
becoming a man. He felt I might be confused, but he thought I could handle it
now. And then Dan told me that he wanted to be there for me, to help me deal
with the things I learned or to answer any questions I had about my father. He
apologized for going cold on me in the pool, explaining that being naked and
close to me brought back memories of he and my father, and it choked him up.
Then he told me that the sexual feelings I felt were mutual, but that he
wouldn't want to involve me in something that I was not mature enough to
handle. After being in the pool and having me reach out to him the way I did,
however, I think he got the message.

     Dan put down his beer and put a hand on my cheek. His other hand grabbed
mine and he stood up, pulling me off the sofa. As we stood face to face, he
asked me if I had ever had sex with a grown man. I shook my head no, and he
pulled me into him, enveloping me in thick fur and hard muscle. I held on to
him and we just looked at one another for a moment. He had blue eyes and a
sexy bald head, which was a breathtaking contrast to his excessively hairy
body. His beautiful, rugged face was a combination of Telly Savalas and Mr.
Clean. I could feel our penises becoming erect, his big, uncut member snaking
sensually around my much smaller, circumcised boy cock, before pointing
straight up between us. I planted a soft kiss in the center of his hairy
chest, tasting the salty sweat of the man I so adored. Suddenly, Dan swept all
of me off the floor and up into his powerful, fur-covered arms. He brought his
face into mine, first kissing me softly on the cheek and forehead, then
putting his lips to mine, our tongues melting into one another's mouths. He
carried me to the bedroom and laid me on his bed. He gently climbed on top of
me, careful not to rest all of his weight on me. I put my arms around his
shoulders and we made slow, sensual love all afternoon. We spent the first
half hour just kissing, rolling over and over, just staring at one another in
silence. I explored a grown man for the first time, feeling open and
comfortable with Dan. I felt I could do whatever I wanted, and I let go of all
my inhibitions, secure that nothing could be more right, more natural, more
beautiful than a man and his boy, confessing their deep love for one another.

    I lost myself in Dan's hairy body, bathing his chest with my tongue. I
wanted to taste every part of him, to gratefully  take everything he had to
offer. He sank back into the mattress, raising his arms above his head, and I
brought my mouth down, deep into his sweat-drenched armpits, lost in his ripe,
manly aroma. It completely engulfed me, and I was unaware of everything except
Dan...his tastes, his smells, his pleasure. I slowly worked down his beautiful
body, shaking uncontrollably in this moment of truth. I knew he sensed my
excitement, and at that moment I wondered if he had had such a wonderful,
loving man as himself to bring him into manhood, so long ago. I laid there
between his spread legs,  staring in fascination at his balls, crawling slowly
around in his scrotum. His sac seemed to breathe as it moved on its own
accord, the hair on his nuts brushing against my chin as it moved. I moved my
face into his inner thighs, feeling his body heat grace my face, and began
slowly licking and sucking his heavy balls. I fell in love with the aroma of
sweaty crotch and furry crack. Dan moaned and groaned with desire. I pulled
myself forward, looking down at his cock. It was about eight or nine inches,
and still growing. I could hear the smacking sounds as precum oozed from his
hole, and filled the area under his foreskin. I could smell the accumulation
of cheese behind his moist dickhead, and was curious about this intact penis.
I slid my tongue under his skin as my arms played over his upper body. I could
feel the groans rumbling inside his chest as I pulled his foreskin back,
running my tongue around him. The taste was a little powerful for me when I
took him to the back of my throat, but I wanted it, because it was a product
of him. Dan carressed my head, letting me pace myself. He turned me around so
that he could eat my ass while I sucked him. I felt my virgin hole being
awakened by his sweet mouth. Dan began to breathe heavier, intoxicated by the
taste of his boy. He worked harder, licking and sucking my ass, collecting
flavor from the light coating of crack fur that was starting to develop behind
my nuts. Apparently, it was a very powerful experience for him, because he
arched his back and began squirting his load down my throat. I put a hand
around his huge cock and watched in boylike wonder as his sperm shot load
after load into the air, coming back down in white globs and clear fluid,
drenching his belly and crotch. He jerked and shook as he came, and before I
knew it, his tongue in my ass brought me to my own orgasm, much smaller but
just as intense. I turned around and collapsed, my face resting in his sperm-
drenched crotch. We lay there breathing and sweating onto one another, and I
could feel his cock begin to shrink and slowly rest across my cheek. I didn't
want this moment to end. But as I drifted off to sleep, I could hear him
whisper to me, "You never have to be without a father again."