Date: Mon, 23 Jul 2012 16:49:27 +0100 (BST)
From: Andrew Foote <footea81@yahoo.co.uk>
Subject: Boy on the Towpath - Chapter 30

BOY ON THE TOWPATH.

Okay, okay.

There will always be those who don't like the way stories develop and I
expect my fair share of criticism following this next chapter. The one
thing I will say is that if you want a story to go your way, why not try
writing one of your own?

Recent events have forced me to question long held moral beliefs and
principals and in a many respects this is my way of answering myself.

Be warned. Unlike previous chapters, this does contain descriptions of
consensual sex between a man and an underage boy and so if because of the
laws of your country of residence, religious or spiritual beliefs you are
not permitted to access such material, may I suggest you leave now.

Your comments however critical are welcome and should be addressed to the
author.

Andy.

footea81@yahoo.co.uk


Chapter XXX


Tom clung onto me and his breathing settled down to something more like
normal. His crying had stopped finally and slowly his manic-like grip on me
loosened as he drifted into sleep.  Careful not to wake him, I lay him down
face-down on the bed and once satisfied he was completely out of it, I made
my way through to the saloon and helped myself to a very stiff brandy.

As ever my thoughts were concentrated on what the hell I was going to do
with him.  I had tried. God only knows I'd tried but I'd failed him.  He
had done everything I'd asked of him and so much more but he was hurting
inside so much and I wasn't at all sure just how much of it I could take.

The fact that I was now fully convinced he was gay didn't do anything to
make my dilemma easier.  He wanted me and I knew it. God damn it I wanted
him so much as well but...  But the law says it's wrong and all my life I'd
held close the principals of `correct' behaviour, never mind how I felt
about things but now I was finding myself questioning even those.  I mean
what the fuck do they know anyway?  Surely if someone knows their sexuality
whether they're fourteen or forty, shouldn't they be free to express it and
with whoever they choose as a partner?  Where is the difference between a
boy of fifteen years and three-hundred and sixty-four days and the same boy
on his sixteenth Birthday?  Only the law. That is all. Oh, and twenty-four
hours... Naturally.

Where is the `correct' behaviour when a child is so desperate that they
self-harm, even consider taking their own life?  To run away, to flee the
protection of the love of their family?  Where does the law sit then?  Well
of course therapy is the magic potion, the answer to very child's woes.
Yes convince them that actually they don't really feel this way, it's just
a phase they're going through, something they'll grow out of but what
actually are you doing here?  You're telling them in a roundabout way that
what they're feeling isn't normal and thus adding fuel to an already out of
control inferno that's slowly consuming them.  Yeah. That's a massive help
isn't it!

Oh SHIT! I'm getting angry and anger doesn't aid considered thinking.
There must be a way but as I saw it, I'm damned if I do and damned if I
don't and no mid-position in between that would satisfy his needs and also
my conscience.

Another large brandy and I sat down, closed my eyes and thought about my
childhood.

Ian was my all-time love.  We were what, twelve and thirteen or was it
thirteen and fourteen? Can't remember but I do remember how much we loved
each other!  In those days the law had just been amended to allow
consensual sex between adults of twenty-one or over so our relationship was
totally under wraps. The occasional sleep-over, the occasional... well
anywhere we could grab a bit of privacy I guess but because everything was
against us, we drifted apart come my time to leave school and go to
university.  Contact continued for a while but distances and the serious
lack of funds made things impossible for us.  I still miss him but you
always remember your first love don't you?  But my problem was he had been
my ONLY love as men never featured in any of my fantasies, the occasional
girl perhaps but nothing that could ever replace Ian.  Well... not until
now anyway.

Here I am, yards from someone who wants me and needs me every bit as much
as I do him but wracked with the guilt that the love I feel inside isn't
any longer the pure love I'd felt before. The love that drives you to help
and protect, to teach and nurture, to... No, it's been replaced or altered
into something deeper and more urgent.  I would always be there for him, be
all of those good things but more, I WANTED HIM! I WANT HIM AS MY LOVER!
May God preserve me. Can I REALLY be thinking of this?


*****


Sleep took me, probably the brandy but more than likely my state of mind
but some three hours later I came too as Tom curled up beside me.

"'Bout time you woke Stu? You've been out for like ages!"

"Sorry. I guess I needed it as much as you did. What's the time?"

"Seven or thereabouts. Anyway I was starved so I took myself off to that
place they mistakenly call an Italian restaurant and got us a
carry-out. Want some?"

"Yeah why not?  Want a beer with yours?"

"What??  You offering me a beer?"

"Well I've had some time to think and I can't think of any good reason why
you shouldn't so if you want one, help yourself."

"So what else have you been tiring out your old brain with?"

"Lots of things if you must know!"

"Like?"

"Like nothing you need to concern yourself about alright? Well not at the
moment anyhow."

"Okay already!  Did you know that Bradley Wiggins has won the TDF?"

"No I've been asleep remember? Anyway that should give us something to be
happy about if nothing else."

"You ain't coming across as very happy?  What would make you happy Stu?"

"Just don't go there okay? That's for me to know and for you to find out."

"Sometime?"

"Sometime... Maybe... sometime."


*****


That evening we just sat around watching TV.  I think we were both deep in
our own thoughts as what conversation there was limited to brief questions
and even shorter answers. The few times I caught a glimpse of Tom's face
without his noticing, it was flushed as if almost on the verge of tears

Early for him at ten o'clock Tom got up and looked at me but hardly meeting
my eyes as he announced he was going to take a shower.

To this day I don't know what made me go and listen at the shower room
door.  At first all I could hear was the running water but just as I was
about to turn away I heard something else.  Tom was crying but also he was
talking to himself.  I put my ear to the door in an attempt to better make
out what he was saying.  What I heard put strength into my body such as I
would never believe possible and I slammed into the shower room sending the
door clean off its hinges.

Tom, naked from the waist up was standing under the water, bread knife in
hand studying his forearm.  The shock of my timely entrance made him drop
the knife narrowly missing his foot and with what I can only describe as
terror in his eyes, he screamed and screamed as he threw himself into my
arms.

Time seemed to stand still for a moment but even though Tom is no toddler,
I picked him up bodily and carried him through to the bedroom, flung back
the duvet, lay him down before joining him in a massive embrace.  Tom was
still what I can only describe as hysterical and it took every ounce of
self-will not to succumb myself but from somewhere came the strength and as
I held him tight to me I could hear myself talking to him almost as if it
wasn't me doing it.

"It's okay Tom. Really it is alright. It's over now. It's done, over,
finished. As God is my witness, it is all finished. Nothing can hurt you
anymore my beautiful boy. Nothing can take you away from me now and that
pain you feel deep inside? I'm going to rid you of it tonight if you want
me? Rid you of it forever."

Tom looked up at me, still crying but with happy eyes.  I peeled off my now
very wet shirt then leaned into him and so gently kissed him on the lips.
He opened up for me in such a way as to blank out everything but the
moment.  Gone my fears of the past, just the love that we were sharing
through that first passionate kiss.  Working my way to his ears, I kissed
and nibbled at them as I'd done so many years ago to Ian. The result was
even more explosive as Tom almost cried out with pleasure pushing his groin
into mine almost winding me in the process.  Onwards down to this very
erect nipples, sucking and nibbling each one in turn before heading south
to his tummy button, tonguing it savouring every inch of his body slowly
and gently with my hands.  Tom was almost apoplectic. His moans, cries and
incoherent attempts at speech driving me ever onwards to what was
eventually to be my goal but that was for later, quite a while later as I
wanted him to experience and understand just how much I loved him and
wanted him.

Ignoring the very substantial bulge in his shorts I made my way down
kissing the inside of his thighs and down to his really pretty feet.

I still don't understand why I love his feet so much but they held a
fascination for me then as they do to this day and luckily for me, licking
and kissing his insteps, sucking on his toes drives him nuts making him
whimper like a small puppy.

But now the time had come.  For the very first time in his young life he
was going to experience something he will remember for the rest of his
days.

I reached up and undid the clasp on his shorts and took them off him
complete with his CK's rendering him completely naked.  For his part Tom
fumbled around trying to get to mine but I got there first and took them
off tossing them onto the floor.

That first naked embrace will stay with me forever.  So soft, so pliant and
so warm.  I cuddled into him, both of us laying on our sides all the time
kissing and caressing each other to the extent I was fast loosing coherent
thought.  I let me hand travel down and wrapped my fingers around his dick.
Tom physically shuddered.

"Oh my God! Stu I'm so very close!!"

I wanted him to experience the best of everything this his first outing
into sex so I kicked the duvet off and went down on him engulfing his
entire boyhood.  No he didn't last long but it was worth every little
moment!  Tom let out a strangled squeal and he came in my mouth.  His
fountain of love pulsing and pulsing until he collapsed back onto the
pillow exhausted.

For the next hour we just lay there in each other's arms with hardly a word
spoken.  There were no need for them anyway! Every time I looked up at him
he was smiling almost like the first time we met. Still that `little boy'
look even though he was fast becoming a man in his own right.  Oh God I
loved him!  Any thoughts of the `correctness' of what we'd embarked on now
a distant memory. It was just love in all its wonder. Totally fulfilling in
all its beauty but we had barely begun as I was about to find out!

Okay I'm not THAT old but I'd forgotten how quickly boys `batteries' get
recharged!  Tom turned to me and kissed me tenderly on my neck then
whispered in my ear, "Stu? Take me now. Make love to me completely please?"

"You mean you want me to..."

"Yes I want you to fuck me. Please, I need to feel you inside me?"

"But I might hurt you and I couldn't ever hurt you?"

"I'm ready and I know you will be gentle. I know you will stop if I ask but
I'm not going to. I need this more than you know. I dream about it and I
need you so much?"

I turned him over onto his back and spread his legs apart and took his
balls into my mouth, gently swilling them around before licking my way
across his perineum to his tight, pink little hole.  Carefully I tongued
his entrance sending shivers through his frame before probing at his
opening until I got entry. I love his taste! Not mucky just musky sweetness
and honestly I could've stayed there all night but Tom was getting too
worked up.  I went to open him up with a finger but he pushed it away.

"No fingers. Just you. I'm ready Stu. Trust me. I only want you inside me."

Turning him onto his side, the gentlest way to take someone, I lined myself
up and pushed.  I met resistance but Tom told me to try again and after a
moments perseverance I gained access.  Tom shuddered.

"Bloody hell it's big!"

"Am I hurting you?"

"NO! Feels like a telegraph pole trying to get into me but it's okay!  Just
take it slowly so I can get used to it."

Little bit by little bit he took me. All of me until his soft bum cheeks
were firmly against my pubes.

"That's it. You alright?"

"Mmm. Good thanks!  How do I feel to you?"

"I never want this to end."

"Take me now. I want you hard. No messing about, I almost want you to hurt
me so just give it me, PLEASE!!"

Now my idea of fucking someone (by the way I HATE saying that in the
context of a loving situation so maybe `taking someone' is better.) anyway
`taking someone' should be gentle and with passion but it's not all about
me is it?  I pulled out until just my knob was inside him then shoved it
back in up to the hilt.  Tom squealed like a stuck pig!

"Oh God YES! Oh FUCK YES PLEASE!!!"

I rode him like a stallion, all the time Tom quite literally begging for
more but I was very conscious I was getting a bit sore. Damn it I was
taking a virgin and not very gently at that!  Just at the point I was
seriously wishing I'd used a condom than Tom froze, his bum muscles
contracted around me as if he was trying to wrench my dick from the rest of
my body as he grunted loudly cumming all over the sheets.  That was as much
as I could take.  For the first time in many years my dick convulsed firing
shot after shot into Tom's young body until completely drained, I settled
into him cuddling him from behind, my dick still buried inside him.

We drifted into a semi-sleep, just holding each other, no words needed.

Finally I plopped out of him, made my excuses and headed for the shower
forgetting the shattered door from earlier.

Freshened up I returned to bed, Tom barely awake but awake enough to kiss
me.

"Thank you Stu. I really, really love you. I'm so happy?"  And with that he
finally took his rest.

I lay staring up at the ceiling, completely at ease with my conscience and
overwhelmed with my boy-turned-lover sleeping beside me.  That love that
will never die.

As I too drifted off into oblivion, an image of Ian came to me.  He was
waving goodbye.

*****


`Towpath' is finished.  Thank you to everyone who has taken the time to
read it and especially to all who have contributed to the literally
thousands of emails I've been privileged to receive.

To my bestest mates in the world.  Andy, Billy and the Jaiman, I wish you
all a life blessed with love, contentment and joy. Success in everything
you aspire to and that inner happiness we have so often talked about.  This
story is for you.