Date: Sat, 6 Sep 2003 20:28:32 -0500
From: Rhaven <rhaven2002@hotmail.com>
Subject: Bug Chapter Four

This story contains strong language and sexual content between boy/boy and
boy/man.

For more stories and poems, please visit:

www.rhavenlore.com


Pain is a demon. It possesses ya and takes away all that is good in
life. I hate pain, I hate that my insides want to sing and dance, but
the pain say's 'no'.  In the month that I slept, livin' in that dark
world, I've come to realize just how pretty the outside is. Can't say
why I didn't notice before, I guess I was stupid. Now when I stand out
there on my balcony lookin' out at the lake, watchin' the sunlight
dance across the breathing water, I'm amazed by all this beauty. Maybe
everyone should fall asleep for a month, and then they too can see
what I see now.



CHAPTER FOUR

Jeff insisted that Bug take it slow. However, that was hard for the
boy to do, he wanted to run and jump, play hide and seek and swim. In
that first week, Bug busied himself by exploring all that the house
had to offer.  He discovered a wonderful device called Television and
shows like, the Virginian and Branded or Gomer Pyle and the Jackie
Gleason Show. It was all amazing and Bug wondered why everyone didn't
have a TV.

"Ya look like a zombie in front of that thing. Come outside with me."
Dandy said, hands firmly planted on his hips and tapping his foot.

"But this is Lassie, Dandy." Bug said pointing at the television, as
if Dandy hadn't noticed it before. "I ain't seen this show yet. Ya got
to watch it, this dog is super smart."

"Ya been in this house long enough." Dandy said in a stern voice.

"When's Jeff gettin' home?" Bug said not daring to look away from the
television.

"Don't know."

Jeff had been away for days, now that planting season was upon them;
he was keeping busy visiting the farmers, making sure everything was
running smoothly. Bug was amazed to discover that Jeff owned most of
the farmland in these parts. Apparently, he took his ownership very
seriously, checking up on all the farmers. Bug wished the man would
return, he missed his daily hug. Not that Dandy's hugs were bad; they
just weren't as special as the ones from Jeff.

"Come on Bug, please go outside with me." Dandy begged.

Bug grunted and shook his head.

"Okay, let's go out.. Just when Lassie's about ta warn Timmy about
that there cougar." He moaned and reluctantly turned the television
off. "What we gonna do outside?"

Dandy grinned and grabbed Bug's hand.

"I'm takin' ya swimmin'."

"Ya gonna teach me to swim?" Bug forgot all about Lassie, he smiled
and dragged Dandy outside. "Now remember I ain't no good. so. so ya
gotta teach me everythin'."



Bug stopped at the edge of the lake and almost gasped, he had almost
forgotten this was Lake Crawford. The last time Bug had been in this
lake, he had almost drowned.

"Don't look so worried." Dandy said cheerfully as he pulled off his
shirt. "I won't let nothin' happen ta ya."

Bug looked back at Dandy and smiled. He relaxed slightly, this wasn't
Virgil standing here, it was Dandy.

"Ya don't need help undressin' do ya?" The naked Dandy asked kindly.

Bug didn't think he needed the help, his back didn't hurt at all and
the bruises on his arms had almost disappeared.

"Sure." He said giggling to himself. It was something he had learned,
once you experience kindness, you wanted more and more. He raised his
arms, so Dandy could pull the shirt off easier.

Dandy undressed Bug with simplicity, as if he had done it a hundred
times. Once they were both nude, Dandy walked Bug into the water.
Dandy took them in, until the water was up to their waist.

"Whatcha need ta do is lay on ya stomach first." Dandy instructed.

"I'll sink!"

"No ya won't." Dandy rolled his eyes. "I'm gonna hold ya up, ya'll be
fine."

Dandy put one hand on Bug's chest and the other on his stomach. Dandy
acting as if he had years of experience in training, talking to Bug
about the mechanics of swimming. Bug had some difficulty synchronizing
his arms and legs, but after a few hours of kicking and paddling he
managed to briefly, if not awkwardly swim alone. Once the lessons had
ceased, the two boys competed in who could make the biggest splash.
Bug just knew this had to have been the greatest splashing game ever
witness by God and all the Heavens.



"Hey you two." Jeff called from the shore.

"JEFF!" the boys said in unison and ran toward the man.

"I see someone is feeling better." Jeff laughed and quickly steadied
himself as both boys attempted to jump into his arms. "Whoa now, I'm
glad to see you guys too!"

Jeff fell down still trying to hold onto both boys.  Bug watched Dandy
kiss Jeff and get one in return. He quickly kissed Jeff and was happy
to receive his.

"So how have you been? What have you guys been up to?"

Bug loved that question; it was such a wonderful thing to ask someone.

"I was watching your television.." Bug said excitedly.

"That's all he's been doin'." Dandy added quickly. Bug ignored his
sarcastic comment and continued.

"There's this show called the Virginian. this guy found some gold
coins in a cave and. and." Bug spat out the story he had seen, all the
while Jeff smiled, nodded and seemed to be honestly interested in Bug'
s tale.

Finally, Bug finished, breathing hard from non-stop talking, Jeff gave
the boys a squeezed and laughed.

"I really have missed you two."

"Since ya is back home and ." Dandy paused and looked over to Bug.
"And Bug is feeling better; could we. have a campout?"

"A campout?" Bug asked looking to Jeff for the answer.

"All we do is stay up late and sit around a bonfire." Jeff explained.

"We cook weenies and marshmallows." Dandy added licking his lips. "And
play games. don't forget the games." Dandy elbowed Jeff.

"Oh I'm not sure about the 'games'." Said Jeff almost whispering to
Dandy.

"What. because Bug's here?" Dandy pouted out his lower lip and glared
towards Bug.

Bug didn't say anything, but he was now very interested in these
'games'.

"How about swimmin' ya can still swim with us, right?" Dandy said
dryly.

"I don't." Jeff stopped talking and looked back towards the house.
"Damn, someone is coming down the road. better get dressed." Jeff
stood up, brushed out the wrinkles in his shirt and tried to smile.
Bug could see a trail of dust bellowing up from the road and quickly
dressed. The boys followed closely behind Jeff as he walked to the
house. Once Bug got a closer look at the black and white car, his
stomach started to roll. It might have been all those years of his
father and his paranoid fears, but Bug was uncomfortable around the
police. A man who could have stepped right of the TV show Virginian,
climbed out of this car and tipped his cowboy hat as Jeff approached.

"Hello Sheriff." Jeff said cordially, shaking the man's hand.

"Howdy Mr. D, I'm glad ya is home." The sheriff said looking toward
the boys and frowning.

"What's wrong Sheriff?"

"Bad times Mr. Daniels.someone done burn down the Thornton house."

"Oh my God! Are they all right?" Jeff glanced quickly to Bug and then
back to the sheriff.

"'fraid not, Mrs. Thornton didn't make it out of the house, the boy
and Mr. Thornton are fine. " Sheriff Tanner looked over at the boys
and frowned again. "I'm glad ya is back. I'd heard ya was on ya're
visitations." The Sheriff wiped the sweat from his brow and then
shifted his feet uncomfortably; indicating he had more to say.

"Sheriff. is there something. something you want to tell me?" Jeff
asked seeing the concerning look Tanner was giving the boys. Sheriff
Tanner put his hand on Jeff's shoulder and moved him a few steps away
from the two curious boys.

"This sure sounds serious." Dandy whispered to Bug.

Bug could only nod his agreement. He was still stunned that Ma
Thornton was dead, burned to death in a fire. Just like the dream, he
had a week ago, seeing Ma Thornton standing in flames. Bug suddenly
had a disturbing thought, one that made his heart skip a beat. If only
there could have been more time to think, but Jeff turned to the boys,
worry painted his face.

"Go inside, boys." He ordered, looking away quickly, so as not to see
their puzzled expressions. Dandy took hold of Bug's hand and led him
into the house.

"This ain't good." Dandy finally said once they were inside.

Bug didn't reply, he watched Jeff and Sheriff Tanner from the window.
>From the way Jeff was pacing, Bug could tell he was upset from
whatever the sheriff was saying.

"Who do ya think burned down the house?" Dandy whispered as he leaned
over Bug to see what was going on outside. "Can't believe someone was
killed."

Bug swallowed hard, he didn't feel like talking. He pressed his face
against the glass and wished the sheriff would leave. It wasn't until
Dandy spoke again, that Bug realized he had been holding his breath.

"Do ya think the sheriff is here ta arrest Jeff? I don't much like
Sheriff Tanner, he once took my brother in, for a fight he ain't have
nothin' to do with. He's got that mean look in his eyes. Did ya see
the way he was lookin' at us?"

Bug nodded to Dandy, though he wasn't listening. He had a feeling that
this had nothing to do with Jeff.



Finally, Jeff shook Sheriff Tanner's hand and waited until the car was
just a vanishing cloud of dust, before he walked into the house.

"What's goin' on?" Dandy asked before Jeff could shut the door.

"Let's all have a seat." Said Jeff flatly.

Bug held his stomach, he knew what was going to be said and his
stomach rolled, pressed against his chest, so that it was hard for him
to take a breath.

"I'm sure you heard." Jeff began, sitting between the boys on the
couch. ". The Thornton house burned down. Sadly. Susan Thornton
perished in the flames."

Jeff cleared his throat before continuing.

"Sheriff Tanner. has evidence that the fire was deliberately set."

Jeff couldn't stand it any longer, he stood and started to pace the
room.

"What's happenin' Jeff? What's wrong?" Dandy said also standing, his
face twisted in concern.

"The sheriff. the sheriff." No matter how hard Jeff tried, he just
couldn't say it.

"He thinks I did it, doesn't he." Bug whispered, looking down at the
floor.

Jeff quickly sat back down next to Bug and put his arm around him.

"He just wants to question you tomorrow. I have told him already, that
there was no way you could have done such a thing. Bug believe me,
everything is going to be all right. I'm not going to let anything
happen to you."

"That's crappy!" yelled Dandy. "How can they think Bug would do
somethin' like that?"

"Apparently." Jeff stopped pacing and looked down at Bug.
".apparently, the Thornton's son has told Sheriff Tanner about the
incident with Mrs. Thornton..." Jeff paused again to look into Bug's
face, to see his reaction to all this. "I. I think the sheriff
believes you started the fire to get. revenge."

"More crap!" Dandy screamed angrily. "Bug didn't leave the house last
night, how could he have started the fire. it just ain't possible."

"We're going to let Bug talk to the sheriff tomorrow. "Jeff said in a
calm voice. ".and make sure the sheriff continues his search for the
real culprit." Jeff tried to smile and turned towards the kitchen.
"Why don't I fix us something nice to eat?"

"Ain't we havin' a campout?" Dandy asked looking confused, throwing
his arms up into the air from frustration.

"Sorry sweetie, with all that has happened; I think it best we
postpone the campout."

"What. for how long? Until all this crap is fixed? Or until 'HE'
leaves.this ain't fair!" Dandy stamping his feet. "We were happy
before 'HE' showed up! Now everything is messed up."

"Dandy! It's not Bug's.." Jeff began, but Dandy ran upstairs before he
could say anything else.

Bug looked towards the stairs and then Jeff. Dandy had been right; all
he did was cause problems. It was as if he radiated it, contaminating
everything around him.

"Bug, don't listen to Dandy. He's just upset; he didn't mean anything
he said." Jeff tried to say tenderly.

"He's right though, I ain't nothin' but trouble."

Jeff quickly sat down next to the boy pulling him close.

"You listen here Bug; you are not 'trouble'. You are worth all this
and more."

Jeff stood again and pulled Bug to his feet.

"Let's go sit out on the porch. get some fresh air."

Bug didn't argue, he wasn't sure he even had the energy to protest.
His limbs felt like rubber as Jeff led him outside. The crickets had
begun their chorus song as Jeff pulled Bug into his lap, a mesmerizing
chirping echoed around them as the insect put on their evening show. A
gentle breeze tried to cool them from the lingering heat of the day as
Jeff held Bug tightly.

"Let me tell you a story about your mother and I." Jeff said as he
looked out towards the lake. Bug felt the muscles in his body relax as
Jeff began his tale. He watched as his mother and Jeff ran to the lake
with thoughts of being great explorers. He saw them feverishly built
their raft and celebrate when it didn't sink. Bug witnessed their
launch into the great unknown only to swim back to shore in defeat as
the raft broke apart beneath them.

Jeff continued talking until the sun had finally surrendered to the
darkness of night, telling Bug everything he could remember of his
mother. Bug found himself waving to that phantom girl and seeing her
wave back.

"Do you feel like eating something?" Jeff asked, interrupting Bug's
fantasy.

"I ain't hungry." Bug admitted and then turned around to look Jeff in
the eyes. "Ya and my Mama were real good friends, weren't ya?"

"We were the best of friends. I always thought of her as my sister."
Jeff confessed. "She was very special to me."

Bug turned around again to look out at the lake and tried to see that
raft and two children again, but they no longer existed.

"Why did ya let my Mama marry a crazy man?"

Jeff sighed silently.

"Your father wasn't. When your mother met your father, he wasn't as
you knew him. he was working at McDuffy's Farming Supply Store, doing
well for himself." Jeff took a deep breath. "To be completely honest
with you Bug, I . I tried to stop your mother from marrying him. I can
't say it was because I completely disliked your father. it was. it
was the fact he was so different. I wanted her to marry Prince
Charming."

Jeff cleared his throat again, as if trying to clear some unpleasant
thoughts and then wrapped his arms around Bug.

"But if they hadn't met and gotten married, you would never exist. I
owe your father for creating such a beautiful, wonderful person like
you."

Bug rested back into the warmth of Jeff and listened to the crickets
sing. The humid heat had finally lessened, as the night finally
arrived.

"Go get ready for bed." Jeff said patting Bug's chest. "I'm going
upstairs to talk with Mr. Dandelion Jones."

"Don't be mad at him." Bug said as he jumped off Jeff's lap.

"I'm not mad at Dandy. and I don't want you to be either. Dandy it a
very loving person. sometimes he speaks without thinking. But he
honestly likes you Bug, you have to believe me."

Bug nodded, not knowing exactly what to say about Dandy. He could see
how much Jeff cared for Dandy and see that he was creating a wedge
between their love.

"Are you coming?" Jeff asked holding the door open.

"I'll be in, in a minute."

Jeff smiled and paused a moment at the door looking cautiously at Bug.

"Don't be long." Jeff finally said and disappeared into the house,
leaving Bug to the sounds of the night alone.



Bug walked off the porch and down to the lake. The lake was so calm
and peaceful, as if it had never seen a turbulent day. Bug stripped
out of his clothes and stepped into the water. It felt alive as he
walked deeper into the lake. He had dreamed of Ma Thornton burning or
was it a wish? If he had some kind of power, had he also killed his
father? How many times had he wished that Papa would die?

A horrible thought came to Bug, had he also wished death for his
mother? Was it his fault that everyone near him passed away?

Bug started swimming, at first, it was awkward, but Dandy's lessons
eventually came back to him and Bug swam towards the center of Lake
Crawford.

"Bug!"

"Bug!"

Someone called his name; he stopped swimming and looked up at the
stars.

"Mama? Can.can ya see me?" There was no answer, only the sounds of his
hands hitting the water, so he swam on. He wasn't sure where he was
going, but he had to be alone, away from anyone. He couldn't, he
wouldn't harm anyone ever again.

"Bug!"

"Bug!"

The voice was closer now and Bug realized it wasn't his Mama calling
him. It was someone else.

"Jeff?" He barely said as he tried to keep his head above the water.

"Hang on Bug I have you!"

Bug wasn't worried, he stopped struggling to keep afloat as a strong
hand grabbed him. He closed his eyes and felt himself pulled through
the water towards shore. Gently he was lifted out of the water and
laid on the hard ground, and then Bug was hugged, not by one person,
but two.

"What were you thinking?" Jeff asked desperately, squeezing Bug
tightly.

"Is.is. he all right?" Dandy said through a flood of tears.

Bug opened his eyes and looked up into the night sky, not a single
cloud could be seen, the stars smiled down at him, winking as if they
knew a wonderful secret.

Jeff picked up Bug easily and carried him into the house.  Jeff didn't
stop downstairs, he rushed up the staircase and into his room. It was
the first time Bug had laid in Jeff's huge bed; it was so soft it
almost felt like he was lying on a large marshmallow.

"He...tried ta kill himself." Dandy whispered.

"We. don't know that Dandy. Could you go downstairs and get Bug a
glass of milk, please?"

Bug listened to their words, but his thoughts were with the lake.
Jeff left him alone for a moment, giving him time to look around the
room. He had been in Jeff's room before, but lying on the bed, seeing
it from there, it was larger, whiter and more inviting. Had he tried
to kill himself? Bug wasn't sure, he only wanted to get away from
everyone, to spare them the same fate as everyone else who had
suffered around him.

Jeff returned, wearing a robe, having slipped out of his wet clothes.
Bug didn't move or speak as the man dried him off with a dark blue
towel. He knew he was naked, that Jeff and Dandy could see everything,
but that no longer bothered him. What was nudity anyway, a dressed
man, without his disguise? Nudity or clothed, it couldn't hide how bad
Bug felt at the moment.

"Do you feel like talking?" Jeff asked as he sat down on the bed.
Dandy returned with the glass of milk and handed it to Jeff. Without
asking, Jeff lifted Bug's head so that he could drink. It felt smooth
as the milk slid down Bug's throat and he drank more.

"I." Bug started to say, but he couldn't think of what to say. Could
he tell them that he was cursed? Should he tell them, how they will
die, because he was still here with them? But Bug couldn't find any
words, so he shook his head 'no' and cried.

Again, he was wrapped in hugs, Jeff on his right and Dandy on his
left. It felt so good, it flooded Bug with confusion. He wanted to
cry, he needed the tears, but being there with Jeff and Dandy felt so
perfect, that he also wanted to celebrate. He didn't want to leave
them, he wanted to live with them forever, being loved and cared for,
being part of this family.