Date: Thu, 4 Oct 2001 21:11:47 -0700 (PDT)
From: ray williams <raw0516@yahoo.com>
Subject: Coincidence or Faith Chapter 1

Warning: The following story is a work of fiction.  It is not meant to
represent anyone in real life, and if it does it is merely coincidentally.
This story may contain consensual sex between a man and boy.  If it is
illegal to read this then you have been warn.  I do not encourage or
condone sex between adults and children.  If you are turned off by this
then leave.  And if you looking for a story with nothing but sex in it then
this is not your story.

The author retains the copyright for this story.  Placing this story on a
commercial site without permission is in violation of that copyright.

Please send all comments, good and bad to raw0516@yahoo.com. Spam will be
ignored and blocked.  Thank you and enjoy.

Authors Note:  Please come by my new site, it ain't much be it has my other
writtings there.

http://raw0516.tripod.com

I want to thank Ron for proofreading this story for me and for being a
great friend.  Also I want to thank all my other friends, you know who you
are, for being there when I needed someone to talk to.


"MONSTER!  CHILDMOLESTER!  MOTHERFUCKER!"  The crowd said over and over, as
they beat the man lying on the ground.  He tried to cover his head with his
hands, but they were using sticks, bats, and what ever they could get.  It
had broken his hands, and blood was leaking from his ears.  All he could do
was cry and wish to die.  Everyone stopped suddenly, he turned over to see
a silhouette of a man holding a gun, and it was aimed right between his
eyes.  Then there was a flash.

"AHHHH!"  Adam screamed as he woke from the nightmare.  He's been having
this type of dreams off and on for years, but the past month he's had them
almost every night, and it was getting worse.  This was the first time that
he died though, usually he'd wake up during the beating.  "Oh my god.
Why?"  Adam says to himself.

Adam got out of bed and went to the bathroom, he splashed water on his
face.  As he looked into the mirror, tears started to form in his eyes.
There were bags under his eyes from the lack of sleep.  "Why?"  He asked
himself.  He took a quick piss, and went back to his room.  Since he knew
he wouldn't be sleeping again tonight, he booted up his computer.  As he
waited for everything to load up, he just thought about life.

You see, Adam is what we like to call a boylover.  What is that?  You may
ask.  Well that's not as easy of a question to answer as you may think.  In
short, Adam loves boys, as man is suppose to love woman.  He is attracted
to them sexually.  Now you may call him a pervert, pedofile or child
molester.  But he's not.  He would never do anything to a boy that the boy
didn't want to do.  In fact he doesn't even know if he would do something
if the boy wanted to.  He was afraid.  Not just of the law, but of hurting
or being hurt emotionally.  If he fell in love and the boy did too, what
would happen when the boy was no longer a boy.  Would he still love the
boy, or would the boy still love him.  It was hard to think about, besides
it wasn't likely he would ever find a boy to love.

The thoughts of loneliness and those dreams kept popping in his mind as the
computer came to life.  All he could think of was himself dying in that
dream.  "Maybe it was a sign." He thought.  "Why am I putting up with this.
I can't stand it any longer."  And the computer was ready.  He got online
to see if any of his friends was online.

It was about a year ago when he came across this message board for other
boylovers.  He just lurked around awhile and read, but then decided to join
and post something.  Since there were a lot of stories at the site and he
loved to read them, he decided to post about that, asking if there were any
other story sites.  Well that was how he met his first friend that loved
boys too.  Pete was his name. He sent Adam an email and soon they hooked up
on a messenger server called ICQ.  For that first week they chatted ever
night for four to eighteen hours a night, no joke.  Pete didn't know this
but he saved Adam that week.

Anyway getting back to now.  Adam always got online and chatted with
somebody, anybody, when he got like this.  He never told them that he was
so depressed because he didn't want to bring them down.  It just helped to
chat with others like him.  But tonight was different.  No one was online,
of course at four o'clock in the morning they would all be asleep.  But
usually there would be at least one person online to talk to.  But not
tonight, "Strange.  Another sign?"  Adam thought.  He went to the board to
check if anything new was going on, but nothing real interesting.  So he
tried to find a new story or chapter to read, but couldn't.  The harder he
tried to find something to take his mind off his dream, the more the dream
would slip in his mind.  He just couldn't handle it.  He broke down crying.

"WHY?!" Adam screamed.

"Fuck it, there's no point."  Adam says in a whisper.  And he went back to
the board and started a new message to post.  He posted what he could about
the dreams from the past month, and how he just can't take it anymore.
That tonight would be his last post.  And that he was sorry.  After posting
that, he sent off line messages to his friends online, to tell them that he
was sorry, and bye.  Once all that was done, he shut the computer down and
wrote a letter for his family.  His dad would come by in a few days, like
he always does, and he'll find the letter.

Adam then got dressed and got his telescope.  Telescope?  You wonder.  Yes
his telescope, you see Adam loved to look at the stars.  He found a cliff
that was perfect for it and it's where he planned to do the deed, but after
one last look at those stars.  He grabbed his 9mm and some shells and got
in the car.  He stopped at a store and bought some Dr. Pepper and Vodka.
And with that proceeded to the cliff.

He got there with no problems, actually he didn't know how he got there.
He just did.  He pulled up to a clear spot.  It wasn't a well known spot,
and you had to drive through some off road trails someone made, so he
wasn't scared of anyone being there this early.  By the way, it's almost
six in the morning now, and the sun was just about to come up.  So he
decided to just watch the sunrise instead of stargazing.  At least he'll
see this one star.  He put the now loaded gun in his coat pocket got out of
the car and brought vodka and 2-liter Dr. Pepper with him.  He sat on the
hood and drank.  A swig of Vodka, then a swig of Dr.  Pepper.  He repeated
it a few times and stopped to watch the horizon come to life.  All the
while tears trickling down his face.

He took a few more swigs of Vodka and Dr. Pepper and then threw the bottles
away, not anywhere in particular just away from him.  That's when he heard
a noise.  It came from where the bottles went.  It almost sounded like
someone saying "Ouch!"

"Who's there?"  Adam asked.  But no body replied.  So he got up and started
to walk toward the bushes.  As he got closer the bushes moved, so he pulled
out his gun and said, "Who's there?  Come out, I got a gun and I will use
it."

Before his very eyes, a boy appeared.  "Man I must be seeing things.  From
the drinking." Adam said to himself.

"So!  Go ahead, I don't care."  The boy said with such a sad face.  You
could tell he has been crying.  And he looked like a mess, as if he was in
a fight or something.

"Are you real?"  Adam asked, yeah it's a stupid question but he did have a
buzz.

"Yeah." The boy answered with a short smile.  "So you going to shoot?"

Adam realizing he still had the gun pointing at the kid, quickly put it
away and said, "Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you.  But you startled me
some."

"That's all right."  Said the kid.

"What's your name?  What the hell you doing up here so early?"  Adam asked.

"Tim, Timothy Watkins.  What's yours?"  Tim replied.

"Adam O'Reilly."  Adam said while stepping closer and put out his hand to
shake.  It took a sec but Tim did shake it.  "Now why are you up here?  You
can't no more then 12 years old."  Adam asked again.

Tears started to run down Tim's face, "11 actually.  And what's it matter
to you?"

That just about broke Adam's heart.  He hated to see anyone cry especially
a boy.

"Hey."  Adam says while stepping closer to Tim, "Don't cry.  It matters to
me."

"Yeah right!"  Tim said looking at his feet.

Adam lifted up Tim's chin and said, "Hey now, I care."

Tim looked into Adam's eyes and saw tears forming, he noticed that it
looked like he had been crying earlier himself and with those bags
apparently hasn't had much sleep.  "He looks so sad." Tim thought to
himself, "Why would he care?"  But he could tell, just by his eyes, he
cared.  It's been so long since anyone cared.  Tim lost it, he started
crying hard.  He wrapped his arms around Adam for dear life and cried.
Adam just hung on to him.  After what seemed forever, but really was only a
few minutes of crying, Tim settled down and let go.  As he pulled away he
said, "Thanks, I'm sorry about your shirt." Noticing the mess he made on
Adam's shirt.

Adam looked down then smiled and said, "That's OK.  You feel better?"

"Yes, very much." Tim answered.

"Why don't we go sit down and talk."  Adam said and led Tim over to his
car.  They hopped up on the hood and looked at the view they had from the
cliff.  "OK, now.  So you want to tell me what happened?"

Tim, having already being beaten some and being ready to kill himself,
decided to go ahead and tell Adam his story.  Besides, he liked Adam, who
seemed very nice and caring.  Maybe he won't hate him.  And so he tells his
story.

Tim's parents died when he was 8 years old.  He then went to live with his
Aunt Beth and cousins Dan and Jeff.  From the start he didn't get the love
he needed but at least he had a place to stay and food to eat and his
cousins would play with him sometimes.  The cousins were twins and 2 years
older then Tim.  Sometime last year when they were 12 and Tim 10, they
started to play with him sexually.  They didn't force him, he loved to play
with them.  At first it was just playing with each other's dicks, but as
time went on they wanted to do more.  They got him to suck on theirs, but
never did him.  Again he really didn't mind it, but he also didn't like the
fact they didn't do him in return.  When ever he said that, they would just
say "Forget it then, we won't play at all." And that would keep him quiet,
for he liked it.  At the time he didn't know he was gay.

Well two nights ago things went over board.  Dan and Jeff wanted to try
something knew, they wanted to stick their dicks up Tim's butt.  He said no
that he didn't want to.  After they tried all their little tricks about not
playing anymore and stuff, he still refused.  He had enough of their games.
That made them furious, and they started beating him up.  It was 2 on 1 and
they were bigger then him, so he just fell to the ground and curled up into
a ball.  Luckily they didn't do too much damage, before his aunt came home.
When they heard her come into the house, the twins knew they had to do
something to cover up the mess they did.  So they quickly formed a plan and
went and told their mom that Tim had tried to feel Dan's private, and was
asking if he could play with it, so they hit him some.  Beth hated gays,
and when she heard that, she was angry, not with her sons for beating on
Tim, but with Tim for acting gay.  So she went straight to Tim and before
he could explain, she went at it.  She started hollering about this and
that, and slapping him a few times.  She finally told him to get out, that
she didn't want to see him.  So he did, he just ran out of the house and
went to the park to cry.

After awhile he got tired but didn't know where to go so he went back home,
but slept outside in the back yard.  He was awakened by his cousins kicking
at him.  They started to call him names like fagboy, queer and worse, and
they had some other kids with them, some were his friends so he thought.
He just wanted to die right there and then.  He missed his parents so much
all ready, he just wanted to be with them.  So he decided to go to the one
place he loved.  This cliff and jump off.  He wanted to die and be with his
mom and dad.

By the time he was done telling the story both Adam and Tim were crying and
Adam had pulled Tim into a sideways hug.  It was all he could do for now.
Was just to comfort him.  Here was a kid going to do the same thing as him,
at the same place, and at the same time.  "Coincidence or Faith."  After
what seemed like forever, but was actually about 5 or so minutes of crying
they both settled down some.

"I'm so sorry Tim."  Adam said.

"It's OK.  Thanks for listening and not shoving me away."  Tim said with a
weak smile.

"Never."  Adam said.

Tim noticed the alcohol and started to wonder why Adam was here himself, so
he asked, "Why are you here Adam?"

"Well, uh."  Adam said not really sure what to say.  After a minute or two
of thinking and looking into Tim's eyes.  He knew he could tell him, after
all if Tim got mad, Adam would just finished what he was going to do in the
first place.  And plus he owed it to Tim, Tim told him so why not him tell
Tim.  And so Adam told his story.

There's no reason to write Adam's story all over again, if you want to know
why he is here then go back to the beginning.  Hehe.  Adam tells Tim
everything from the dream to the suicide notes and being a boylover.  He
told him everything.  And what surprised Adam was instead of Tim running
away, Tim had started to cry with Adam.  He had held on even tighter then
before.  "Coincidence or Faith."