Date: Tue, 17 Jul 2007 07:51:05 -0700 (PDT)
From: crispin emrys <crispinemrys@yahoo.com>
Subject: Crispin-and-Zephyr/Part-1-Crispin/Chapter-12 revised
These stories are the product of my imagination. However, nothing happens
in a vacuum. Like most fiction, it is based on real people I have met,
places and events I have seen.
The Prologue and Chapters 1-13 appeared on Nifty this winter. They have
been extensively revised (especially Prologue and Chapter 13) and Chapter
13 has been completed. I will post two per week then continue with
Chapter 14.
It may be against the law to read where you are because of its content or
your age. Or you may feel uncomfortable reading it because of the belief
systems you have accepted. Follow the dictates of your heart. If you do
read this series, I hope you enjoy it.
When this five part story is completed, it will have told the tale of one
boy and one man and how their intimate relationship and love for each
other led to the creation of a modern day legion of boy knights. These
knights errant became young champions of human and social rights and
defenders of the weak and the downtrodden. These Boy Knights of the
Green Republic reveal the true meaning, purpose and power of boyhood.
You may be aware of the etymology of the word knight, that it is derived
from the Old English cniht, meaning page boy, or servant, or simply boy.
Knighthood, as in the Old English cnihthad, had the meaning of
adolescence, that most intriguing period between childhood and manhood.
In this sense every boy is a knight, and in my estimation a potential
knight errant.
Copyright 2007 Crispin Emrys. All Rights Reserved.
This series may be displayed on any website so long as no money is
charged for access and attribution is retained. Just ask permission
first. Thanks.
This project is dedicated
to Guy Davenport, a gentle genius and unsurpassed writer of short
stories who died in 2005,
to every Crispin and Zephyr in this or any other world,
and to you the reader that you may be encouraged by it.
I am Crispin Emrys at crispinemrys@yahoo.com. Please feel free to
contact me. I always enjoy hearing from readers.
Index for Part I -- Crispin
February 1999
Chap 1 -- Robbie 1
Chap 2 -- Robbie 2
Chap 3 -- Call to Crispin from Gwen Powell-Jones
Chap 4 -- Crispin thinks it over then agrees to visit
March 1999
Chap 5 -- Plane Boy -- Cody Clarke
Chap 6 -- Crispin stays with Gwen, visits various schools and takes the
offer
Chap 7 -- Cris and Cody 1
Chap 8 -- Cris and Cody 2
Chap 9 -- Cody stays with Cris at Gwen's
Chap 10 -- Cris finds a perfect garage apartment
April-May 1999
Chap 11 -- Cris closes his affairs in San Francisco
Because of the large cast of characters, I thought it would be helpful to
the reader to have a list. Ages are for March, 1999.
Crispin Emrys Wydham
Chipper Sutherland
Anna (Annie) Rothko
Aleksey Rothko (Alex, Alyosha, Alyoshka) -- 13
Mikhail/Michael Rothko (Misha, Mishka) [1983-1996]
Robbie -- 15
Summer -- Robbie's mother -- 32
Tanner [1984-1998]
Adam -- Tanner's brother -- 10
Gwendolyn Powell-Jones
Cullen "Cully" Powell -- 23
Major Theresa (Terri) Clarke -- 35
Jonathan Cody Clarke -- 11
Uncle Billy Clarke -- 33
Paul - Uncle Billy's partner -- 22
Crispin and Zephyr
Part 1 - Crispin
Chapter 12 -- Revised
April-May 1999
San Francisco and Boulder
Cris had just finished sending an email to Cody when the phone rang.
It was Robbie calling to ask if they were going to be able to stay at
Chipper's cabin this weekend. He wanted to know what to pack. For the
past few weeks Robbie and Cris had spent every weekend with each other
and they both were practically managing their lives around this time
together. Sometimes this included Adam, Tanner's ten year old brother,
who was now more like a little brother to Robbie, and a surrogate nephew
to Cris. In fact Adam had begun calling him Uncle Cris. This had
started as a joke at Robbie's behest, but soon became an unassuming fact
of life. Cris liked the appellation. Adam was a delightful companion
and both Cris and Robbie favored his company immensely, though it
diminished their precious little time alone with each other.
"I'm pretty sure we can," offered Cris, "though I haven't really
confirmed it with her yet. We sorta have a standing reservation. Is
that what you want to do, baby?"
"Gosh, Cris, I love it there. And the weather will be perfect this
weekend. But, I just want to spend the time with you. There. Or
anywhere. I want to spend every minute with you when I am not in school
or at swim practice. It's only a few weeks before you are leaving for
Colorado. I just want to get in as much time alone with you as possible
before then."
"I will talk with Chipper and call you as soon as I find out. But
be thinking about clothes for the mountains just in case the cabin is
not available. We can shoot over to the Sierras and do some hiking and
camping instead. Anyway, I'll call you as soon as I know."
"Thanks, Cris," said Robbie in a tone that clearly expressed both
appreciation and relief. "Ah, Cris?"
"Yes, baby."
"Is it OK if we don't take Adam this time?" Robbie paused for just
a moment and then continued in a quiet voice. "I just want to be alone
with you this weekend. I'll explain it to him. I know he'll
understand."
"Robbie, I love Adam, but I would much prefer to spend these last
few weekends just you and me. Adam will be cool with it."
"Thanks." Again a brief pause and silence. "Umm, I guess I'll
see you then. This weekend I mean." Robbie seemed a bit flustered,
which was unusual for him in speaking with Cris.
Again, Cris chose to let this pass without comment. In an upbeat
tone, that really expressed Cris's mood, he said, "I'll give you a call
as soon as I find out what is what. Bye for now."
Cris called Chipper and she affirmed that no one except Robbie and
Cris could use the cabin until Cris had left for Colorado. It was
permanently reserved for them and them only. 'So,' Cris mused, 'it will
be the ocean and not the mountains for the weekend. That's OK. I'm sure
I will have plenty of mountains in Colorado.'
In any event Cris loved the ocean. It truly nourished his soul. He
had spent much of his life living near it, especially in California and
Hawaii. He found its steadiness, its constancy, its awesome power, which
was exhibited without any favoritism, to be an instructive metaphor for
the sometimes inscrutable Tao, the flow of life. Throughout his years
the sea had helped him to stay on an even keel during times of personal
crisis. He sure would miss it, for he was moving to a place that was
further away from ocean than he had ever lived before. Oh, well, there
were those lofty snow capped mountains. They were pretty steady, too, he
thought. After all the Chinese has selected the mountain as one of the
eight symbolic representations of fundamental reality in the I Ching. It
would be OK, he told himself.
Cris called Robbie back but it was Summer who answered the phone.
"He's in the shower, Cris. Do you want me to give him a message?"
"Yes, tell him the ocean is on for this weekend. He will be pleased
with that."
"Sure, I will. He'll be really happy. He talks about it all the
time."
"Thanks, Summer. It seems like we have hardly talked lately. How
have you been doing? We do not keep up with each other now that Robbie
is practically living with me on the weekends," Cris said laughing.
"I am really good, Cris. Thanks for asking. God, I have missed
talking with you. And I miss your fabulous martinis," she added with a
laugh. Then in a more serious tone said, "You have been so generous to
give your time to Robbie like this. I know that you must be up to your
eyeballs in things to do trying to get ready to leave. But he is
absolutely loving every minute of it. I do worry a bit about how he's
going to handle your leaving, however," Summer said with a sigh.
"Well, Summer, I have been thinking about that. You know I could
use some help driving to Colorado and getting things set up there.
Robbie has a learner's permit. I was hoping that I could take him with
me and then send him back by plane after a couple of weeks. I'm pretty
sure it could be arranged so that he is finished with school a few weeks
before it lets out at the end of May. I realize he has the Enrichment
Academy and the league swimming meets he won't want to miss starting up
in June, so he would be back by then. What do you think?"
"Oh, Cris, that would be fantastic. I know Robbie would walk on hot
coals to be able to do that. And you're right, Cris, he really has
nothing going on until second week of June, which is when the G/T
enrichment program begins at Berkeley. I think it would be great if he
could go with you. As things stand right now he would have to go right
from regular school into more school and not get to have had any summer
break at all. You're sure you are not getting tired of him? I mean, you
do have a life of your own and should not be hamstrung by the needs of a
teenager all the time."
"Honestly, Summer, Robbie would be a huge help and good company to
boot. Also, I have been thinking about our relationship. I have been a
little concerned about just leaving so abruptly in May. I think this way
Robbie and I will have a real opportunity without any distractions to
figure out what our relationship is going to be when we are separated by
half a continent. No distractions except for me of course," Cris added
laughing. "I love him so much and don't want him to be hurt by all of
this. I honestly don't know where we are headed but I believe that if we
have a block of time together, just the two of us, we might be able to
figure it out."
"Have you said anything to Robbie yet, Cris?" Summer asked.
"No, I was not sure about the idea until until this minute on the
phone with you. I want share it with him at the right time. I mean, he
could always decide against it you know," Cris said with a smile.
Summer laughed at this. "Not likely, honey. Well, I think it's a
super idea and you have my permission, if that is what you were asking."
"It was. Thanks. Maybe this weekend will be a good opportunity to
talk about it. We'll see." Cris sighed. "Thanks for letting me
borrow your son, Summer. I can not begin to say how terrific he is and
how much he means to me. And how much loving him has helped me through a
really rough spot. You're a lucky mom."
"I know, Cris." Summer laughed. "Thanks for loving him like he
needs it. I am not sure how all this will turn out either, and I do get
anxious sometimes, but I trust you, Cris. I know you care about him.
And I trust Robbie, too. At the same time I worry about him being so
vulnerable. You know how it is with moms, I'm sure."
"Yep, had one myself, sweetheart. Actually, sometimes I feel like
one. Seriously, I do see his vulnerability and would do anything to
protect him from being hurt in any way." He paused, then went on, "I
think we are doing the right thing. No, let me restate that. I know
that we are doing the right thing."
Summer and Cris continued chatting a while longer. Cris was really
touched by Summer's honesty and her trust in him, and he told her so.
Actually Cris was a bit anxious himself about this relationship, but did
not say so. For one thing, there was Cody, with whom he felt an
incredible bond already. He did not want to do anything that would put
that at risk. While he loved Robbie, he knew, more by intuition than
outright, that their liaison was probably not meant to be a permanent
for-ever-after thing for either of them. It was more for now, just to
get them both over the hump in their personal lives.
And it wasn't that Cris was just being selfish. He truly loved both
these boys. And they clearly loved him in return. He really believed
that both relationships, each substantively different from the other,
were healthy and right. Cris was hoping, maybe idealistically, that
Robbie and Cody could become friends. He was quite sure they would hit
it off, just so long as they met each other with open minds. Things like
that are possible even in this fucked up world he was sure. It would
break his heart if either of them came to resent and be jealous of the
other.
"Oh, here's Robbie. Bye, Cris. Have a great weekend."
"We will, thanks," Cris said as Robbie took the receiver.
"Hey, Cris. Did you talk with Chipper?"
"Hey, lover. Yep, it's the Pacific for this weekend." Robbie
responded by offering some typically fifteen-year-old-male expressions of
delight.
"I'll pick you up right after you get home from school. No
practice, right?"
Robbie assured him that like any Friday, no practice.
"OK, so say around 2:30. Will that work?"
Robbie told him that was good and said he would be ready when Cris
got there. And he would be true to his word because Robbie was naturally
good at managing his time. It was just one of the countless things Cris
liked about him: he could be depended upon. So after a little more small
talk, and a few sweet romantic affirmations by each party, they ended the
connection.
Even after giving it much consideration, Cris was not sure how to
characterize this relationship with Robbie. And while defining and
giving labels to his feeling toward other people was not something Cris
was obsessively prone to do, it still occupied his thoughts. Cris
guessed that this was especially true now that it was overtly sexual.
The bottom line was that it had become so much more complicated, not in a
bad way, though. One could argue, he figured, that they were like
casual, no, too negative a word, temporary lovers, who had been drawn
together because of loss and loneliness. But even temporary seemed a bit
crass, and at face value probably not really true. Their relationship
was much more than that. It was, first and foremost, very real. Neither
would deny that they both enjoyed the physical and sexual part of their
relationship. Nor that it seemed to satisfy those deep longings hidden
within each of them. That it was good, both would quickly agree. But to
simply call it just temporary was to demean the depth of the relationship
as well as the lovers themselves.
Beyond all of these semantics, it was still complicated, most of all
by the direction that their lives were evidently taking over the next
couple years. Cris was going to Colorado and Robbie was going to
continue living in California. While this was not written in stone it
made sense. For Robbie San Francisco was where life's opportunities had
opened up for him. He was a very, very bright boy and was doing
extremely well in school and there were great educational opportunities
on the horizon for him. But that was not all. He was a gifted swimmer
with a world class coach and very supportive teammates. He had a strong
and well knit circle of friends. There was his wonderful mom. On top of
all of that there was the work with boys that he and Tanner had started,
not to mention Tanner's little brother, Adam. For Cris it was clear that
Robbie's future was here, at least for the next few years until college
choices were made. But even there Robbie was a shoe in for Berkeley and
had often expressed interest in San Francisco State, the school from
which Cris had finally graduated.
Cris pondered these matters, without coming to any conclusion, not
that he had expected to do so. Neither was he sure how he would approach
all of this when he and Robbie talked over the weekend. He knew the
subject had to be broached, even if he had not formulated answers yet, or
even an agenda for that matter. Cris earnestly believed that he and
Robbie together could find the missing links in all of this. He decided
that he would patiently wait for the right moment to raise some of these
issues and until then he would continue loving Robbie just as he had been
doing. Like Summer, he had learned to have the fullest confidence in his
own intuition. To Cris, it was a sixth sense, which whenever he was
consciously aware of it, appeared to be in tune with the flow of life.
But most of the time it seemed to work on an unconscious level. The Way
would open for him the best path if he continued to be sensitive to its
movement by living a life that reflected love and openness. He did not
question for a second that sharing an intimate relationship with Robbie
was precisely what should have happened. He had absolutely no regrets or
doubts. And the peace he had about the past gave him the added assurance
that things would work out just fine as the future unrolled itself. It
had always done so, although like anyone else, Cris had been guilty of
not listening and making some grievous errors of judgment that nearly
ruined other people's lives. Hopefully, he had learned from the past.
Cris picked Robbie up at his home in the fog shrouded Sunset District
of San Francisco on Friday in the early afternoon right after he had
gotten home from school. Robbie's school day was shorter on Fridays and
he did not have swim practice again until Monday. They headed through
the light afternoon traffic and across the Golden Gate in Cris's jeep.
The top was off, although Cris kept the soft doors on, and they each had
dressed warmly because driving at 55 along the northern California coast
was chilly even in May. The weather was too good to be true, warm with a
sunny blue sky that was nearly cloudless.
Cris had bought his 1983 CJ7 several years ago. It was from of the
end of the CJ7 production line, just before the conversion to the
Wrangler model that was such a lemon for its first few years. He had
lovingly restored it, adding a few modern touches, like a digital
tachometer, air conditioning, a pretty awesome sound system, as well as
a very sturdy roll cage in case of an accidental rollover. And he had it
painted an International Klein Blue, a rich blue color developed in the
late 50s by the French Neo-Dadaist artist Yves Klein. It had been a
major challenge for the custom auto paint shop to do this, the first time
to anyone's knowledge that a vehicle was painted this shade of blue. But
they had done such a terrific job that they added it to their custom
paint offerings.
After crossing the Golden Gate and turning onto Shoreline Highway
they continued up Route 1 all the way to Dillon Beach. It was a very
pleasant drive up the picturesque coast in the warm afternoon sun that
was somewhat offset by the chilling wind that seeped into the open cab
and eddied around them. The music was turned up loud enough to hear over
everything else, which, in addition to the road noise and the gale force
swish of moving air, was not conducive to conversation. Anything they
said to one another had to be practically shouted, so for the most part
they both just enjoyed the scenery and communicated through gestures and
looks. They stopped in Dillon Beach for a bite eat at the local eatery
that served very good food. Over a very late lunch they talked, each one
filling in the other about how his week had gone. Finally, there
developed a lull in the conversation, so Cris figured it was a good time
to suggest that Robbie travel with him to Colorado.
"Robbie," Cris said in a more serious tone, "um, I've been
thinking. You get out of school this month and you don't have any
definite plans set until early June, so I was wondering if maybe you
might have time to drive with me to Colorado, spend a few weeks there and
then you could fly back home."
Robbie nearly shot out of his seat, exclaiming in a voice that was
loud enough for the other patrons to look over, "Really? Oh, wow!"
The in a quieter voice, "Oh, Cris, I was hoping you might ask me. Wow,
that would be the coolest thing. Plus I could help you move and get
organized in Boulder."
Cris smiled and nodded, "Yep, just what I was thinking."
"Would you let me help you drive, too?" Robbie asked expectantly.
"I was hoping you would be willing to," Cris laughed.
Robbie jumped up and ran behind Cris, engulfed him in his arms and
hugged him from the back. Then without any embarrassment, he leaned
around and kissed him on the cheek. "Thanks, Cris. I really love
you." Just then their dessert order was placed on the table, so, being
a typical teenaged boy for whom food was such a vital element of life,
Robbie returned to his seat and started to inhale his homemade apple pie
and ice cream. He stopped after the first bite and looked up at Cris who
was laughing.
"What?" asked Robbie with a mouth full of food.
"Nothing," responded Cris. "Only that you are such a boy. And
that is why I love you so much."
Robbie immediately understood what the joke was and, swallowing his
food, smiled sheepishly at Cris and said, "I sometimes get excited and
sidetracked by things."
"Yes, I know Robbie," said Cris. "You happen to be very normal.
Let's finish eating so we can get this show on the road. We can talk
more about plans at the cabin."
A couple of hours later after they had unpacked their things at the
cabin and made some preliminary plans about travel to Colorado, they were
on their way down to the beach to enjoy what was going to be a very
pretty sunset, even without clouds or smog to amplify it. They carried
warm clothes and some blankets, as the temperature along the coast drops
quickly once the sun goes down, as well as some munchies and drinks.
Cris spread out the blanket on the isolated beach while Robbie walked
down to the edge of the water. The tide was just beginning to come in
and the waves were increasing in intensity. Birds noisily flew overhead
searching for tasty fish in the surging surf. Cris walked up behind
Robbie who was standing close to the edge of the water looking out over
the ocean and hugged him from behind. They cuddled for some time as Cris
held his young lover in his arms and then Cris kissed Robbie tenderly on
the neck. Cris dropped his arms as Robbie started to turn around so he
could face him.
"Can I have more of that, Cris?"
Cris smiled and wrapping his arms around the boy who was nearly the
height of his mouth and kissed him tenderly on his seductively pouty
lips. Robbie grunted in response and Cris could feel Robbie's hardness
pressing against his own. Cris pulled back until their heads were just a
few inches apart and looked deeply into the boy's rich blue eyes. He
could not put into words how deeply he loved this beautiful boy or how
important Robbie was to him. But he could show him. Taking Robbie's
hands in his own, he lead the boy back up to the blanket where he kicked
off his shoes and with slow movements Cris began taking off Robbie's
clothes. He began by removing his hoodie, and then his tee shirt to
reveal the flawless and hairless body of a fifteen year old swimmer,
strong arms, muscled chest, taught stomach. Cris did not think that
Robbie has even an ounce of needless fat on his body. Then he undid the
buttons of his jeans, lowering them so Robbie could step out of them,
revealing the boy's narrow waist and strong and sexy legs. After taking
his hand and rubbing Robbie's hardened penis through the soft fabric,
Cris reached behind him and slowly removed the royal blue briefs Robbie
wore, first guiding the fabric over his beautiful ass, then over his very
stiff shaft. The briefs, which Robbie now wore in deference to Cris,
fell to the ground around his ankles and Robbie kicked them away. Cris
encircled the boy in his arms, as Robbie gave himself over to his sexual
passion by massaging his erection against Cris's legs. After lowering
Robbie onto the blanket and and then removing his own clothes, he
lovingly ran his hands over every part of the boy's body, all the while
they kissed one another with unbridled passion. Then with the sound of
the incoming tide breaking on the beach and rocks as the background
music, they made passionate love, reaching orgasm in unison. When they
were done Cris lay on Robbie's chest for some minutes as the boy returned
to a more conscious state. Cris could not help but smile at him.
"What?" Robbie asked.
"Just," Cris replied.
"Just what, Cris?" asked Robbie with a questioning look.
"Just that I adore you, Robbie."
"I love it when you make love to me, when you are deep inside of
me. I just don't know how to put it into words," Robbie said in a
halting voice as tears began to gather around the edges of his long
lashed eyes.
Cris kissed each eye removing the moisture, then kissed his forehead,
his nose and ended with a long impassioned kiss on his lips. Robbie
mewed and sighed all the while. Cris could feel Robbie harden again
almost immediately and began moving his hands all over the boy's
beautiful body to stimulate this further. Robbie was groaning with
obvious enjoyment. Methodically Cris began kissing and licking his way
down the boy's sumptuous body, beginning with the chest, areoles and
erect nipples, next the rippled abdomen, and then the clean-shaven area
just above the boy's throbbing phallus. Taking the foreskin in one hand
he slowly pulled it down to reveal the dripping cock head, gently
cradling his quickly tightening balls in the other hand. Then Cris
lowered his head and took the boy's rigid tool into his mouth and began
to suck it while both hands continued their work. Robbie was beside
himself in pleasure and in a very loud voice emitted a deep groan that
could just be heard above the sound of the surf, as he came into his
lover's hungry mouth. Cris sucked and swallowed each drop of the boy's
precious fluid as if it were ambrosia, finally licking the tip of the
still hardened dick of the last of the cum. Then he looked down to
Robbie and smiled. The boy's mouth was open and he was panting. As he
slowly recovered his composure, and as his well developed penis returned
to its flaccid state, he spoke in a voice just loud enough to be heard
over the sounds of the sea.
"Cris. Come up here and lay beside me."
Cris moved on the blanket until he was next to Robbie and rested his
head on one hand. Robbie turned his head, took his free arms and pulled
Cris to him and kissed him with fervency. Soon their arms were around
one another. So they remained locked in an embrace for some time until
the early evening temperature grew too chilly to ignore. They dressed
and sat side by side together on the blanket as close as their bodies
would permit, pulling the other blanket over their backs to help retain
their body heat. They sat together in their own thoughts for a time
watching the reddening sky as it was reflected off of the incoming ocean
waves. The crashing of the tide was very loud, yet incredibly peaceful
at the same time. Cris sat with his legs crossed and Robbie with his
legs up against his chest. Cris had his left arm around Robbie's
shoulder, drawing him close and Robbie had his head resting on Cris's
shoulder.
"Cris?" Robbie asked breaking the silence between them. "What is
going to happen with us?"
"Wow, baby, that is a really deep subject, and one that I have been
trying to noodle through all week. Do you think we are ready to discuss
it?"
"I'm not sure," Robbie admitted. "But I think about it a lot.
It's sorta scary. I mean, you are going to Colorado, and I am going to
be here. And there is Cody. And Adam. Will you and I still be such
good friends separated by so many miles? You know I don't really mean
just friends, but lovers? I'm pretty confused by it all. Maybe a little
bit nervous, too."
At this point Robbie stretched out onto his back so that he could put
his head on Cris's lap and just look up at him. Cris put the blanket over
Robbie's legs so he would not become cold. Robbie's eyes were full of
expectation. He looked so vulnerable and innocent and young. Cris
stroked his chest, wishing he had all the answers for this beautiful
boy. He remained silent for some time, looking out over the panoramic
sea view. Finally he decided to just start talking and believe that the
right words would come.
"Baby boy, I am not sure. We've talked about this before, but I
don't think I have any answers yet. Maybe together we can figure it out.
Are you game for that?"
Robbie thought for a bit and then said, "Cris, I love you and trust
what you say a lot. Yes, I think we can do it together."
"OK, but I'm not sure how we should begin," Cris admitted, slowly
shaking his head. "Meeting you, having you as my friend, spending time
with you, getting to really know who you are, not to mention the physical
part of our relationship, has been one of the best things that has ever
happened to me. You have become a big part of the center post that holds
up my life. I have enjoyed every minute of it and I love you more and
more every day.
"Lover, I really want to be honest and up front with you. I haven't
rehearsed this and I am not really sure what I am going to say." Cris
paused for a moment gathering his thoughts and then continued. Robbie
was looking at him intently, hanging on every word.
"Robbie, I am honestly not sure where we stand. Are we are entering
or have entered into some kind of more permanent relationship? I just
don't know. But I want to tell you this. I have adored you from the
very first time you walked into my office. You were so vulnerable. I
wanted to hold you in my arms and love and comfort you. And I found you
so charming and so very sexy, I had to do all in my power to resist the
urge to throw you on the couch and make passionate love to you."
Robbie laughed at this in spite of the seriousness of the moment.
"I am being honest. And for awhile I did resist these urges. But
the more I came to know you the more I fell in love with you. At some
point I could resist no longer. And I am glad I didn't."
Cris was silent for some time. Robbie continued just looking up at
him with his gorgeous big blue eyes. Finally Cris went on. "But here
is the rub. I am leaving California and will be living far away. You
will be staying here. We both will have to live our lives under those
conditions, each doing his thing. I am open to whichever way things go.
I would have you live with me in a minute if I thought that was best for
you. But it's not, at least not now. Your place, your calling, your
future, at least for next couple of years appears to be here. And mine
is there, in Colorado. As much as this breaks my heart to admit, we are
going to live very separate lives, at least for a time. But it won't be
forever. We will have visits, often I hope. And in two years you will
be heading off to college. Which one and where? Yet to be determined.
Who knows where we both may end up by then. See there is a lot over the
horizon that is not revealed yet."
Cris paused again, collecting his thoughts. "As to Cody. Well, I
do love him a lot. But not the same way I love you. I don't know where
that relationship is going to go once I get back, but I know I want to
spend time with him. I don't know if that will become physical, really I
mean sexual. I just like being around him and that seems to be
satisfactory for now. So it certainly does not mean that you and I can't
continue to be lovers. Remember, it is usually pretty healthy to love
more than one person. And it is a rare situation that your path crosses
the One with whom you must be totally committed to, forever. It was the
case with you and Tanner and it was the same with me and Misha. But,
that is past and what is up ahead neither of us know. It could happen
again. Or not. Frankly, I don't think it will for me, but for you I
do. Either way, you and I are still boyfriends, even if we are not
exclusively so. Can you live with all of this?"
Robbie nodded his head but did not say anything.
With tears were streaming down his face and his voice full of emotion
Cris went on. "I love you so much, Robbie. I want to protect you from
every possible hurt and disappointment, but I just can't. Even if I
could it would not be right. I am going to miss you so very, very much.
I can't put into words all that you mean to me...." Cris could not
continue.
Robbie was crying, too. He got up from his position on the blanket
and knelt in front of Cris, his face inches away from his lover's, and
looked deeply into Cris's teary hazel eyes. The love they shared through
their eyes alone could not have been adequately expressed in words. Then
Cris uncrossed his legs and rose up on his knees, and wrapping his arms
tightly around the boy, he fervently kissed him all over his face.
Robbie responded by wrapping his arms around Cris and together they fell
onto their sides. Soon their hands were tenderly exploring each other's
bodies as though they were virgin lovers experiencing each other for the
first time.
"Robbie?" asked Cris. "Would you do something for me?"
"You know I would, Cris," Robbie responded just loudly enough to be
heard over the waves.
"Would you make love to me, right here, right now?"
Robbie's face slowly broke into a huge grin. "Do you really want
me to do that?"
"More than I can say, baby boy."
Robbie rose up on his knees with his legs outstretched behind him and
then rested his well shaped ass on his legs. "Cris, instead of
answering you with words, let me show you my answer," he said as he
began to undo Cris's jeans. And so, for a third time on the beach that
day these two lovers became one, as the sunset filled the sky with it
warm palette of reds and oranges.