Date: Fri, 29 Jun 2007 14:38:14 -0700 (PDT)
From: crispin emrys <crispinemrys@yahoo.com>
Subject: Crispin-and-Zephyr/Part-1-Crispin/Chapter-4-revised

This series of fictional stories are the product of my imagination.
However, nothing happens in a vacuum.  Like most fiction, it is based on
real people I have met, places and events I have seen.

The Prologue and Chapters 1-13 appeared on Nifty this winter.  They have
been extensively revised (especially Prologue and Chapter 13) and Chapter
13 has been completed.  I will post two per week then continue with
Chapter 14.

It may be against the law to read where you are because of its content or
your age.  Or you may feel uncomfortable reading it because of the belief
systems you have accepted.  Follow the dictates of your heart.  If you do
read this series, I hope you enjoy it.

When this five part story is completed, it will have told the tale of one
boy and one man and how their intimate relationship and love for each
other led to the creation of a modern day legion of boy knights. These
knights errant became young champions of human and social rights and
defenders of the weak and the downtrodden.  These Boy Knights of the
Green Republic reveal the true meaning, purpose and power of boyhood.

You may be aware of the etymology of the word knight, that it is derived
from the Old English cniht, meaning page boy, or servant, or simply boy.
Knighthood, as in the Old English cnihthad, had the meaning of
adolescence, that most intriguing period between childhood and manhood.
In this sense every boy is a knight, and in my estimation a potential
knight errant.

Copyright 2007  Crispin Emrys.  All Rights Reserved.

This series may be displayed on any website so long as no money is
charged for access and attribution is retained.  Just ask permission
first.  Thanks.

This project is dedicated
    to Guy Davenport, a gentle genius and unsurpassed writer of short
stories who died in 2005,
    to every Crispin and Zephyr in this or any other world,
    and to you the reader that you may be encouraged by it.

I am Crispin Emrys at crispinemrys@yahoo.com.   Feel free to contact me.
I always enjoy hearing from my readers.


Crispin and Zephyr
Part 1 - Crispin
Chapter 4 - Revised

February, 1999
San Francisco

    Cris phoned Gwen the following week with the news that he would come
for a ten day visit.  The way his client schedule was shaped it would
have to be during the third week of March, about a month away.  Gwen, who
was not the least surprised, was nevertheless ecstatic.  She pointed out
that it would be an excellent time for two reasons.  The Colorado schools
would still be in session, so he could see the Boulder schools first
hand.  It was also when Texas schools took their spring vacation break,
resulting in a huge flood of Texas tourists into Denver and the ski
resorts.  It seemed that the locals enjoyed the Texas money but not the
Texans themselves, and preferred not to mix.  So the locals took their
break the week after, once the Texans had cleared out, and they could
have the slopes all to themselves.  Cris was grateful that he would be
able to see the Boulder schools in action, as he had heard many good
things about them, and was frankly curious to see how much of it was
true.  And, of course, there was the added perk of being in town when so
many vacationing youngsters would be in residence.  Gwen teased Cris
saying it appeared that this would be the best of both worlds, fully
aware of his interest in boys.

    In order to free himself for almost two weeks, actually twelve days
if counting the weekends, he had to rearrange his calendar and move
appointments and commitments to other times. This proved easy to
accomplish, as it was well in advance.  His colleagues from the old
Radical Alternative Counseling Collective agreed to serve as the
emergency back up with his more high risk patients.  Having worked
intimately with these fellow counselors for a number of years, he trusted
them implicitly.  Chipper readily agreed to take him to the airport,
commenting that going on a trip was just the medicine he needed right
now.  He also asked Robbie to come by and check up on the house and water
the plants, which he was eager to do, because he could also play video
games and use one of Cris's computers.

    Cris had been an adolescent counselor and relational therapist for
more than twenty years.  He purposely chose a  relational approach in
working with kids, as opposed to the more emotionally distant
stereotypical Freudian psychodynamic method wherein the therapist took on
an uninvolved and supposedly neutral observer role.  He believed strongly
that good counseling was anything but a neutral engagement with a
client.  He was good at this, enjoyed it, and experienced much success
working with some very challenging clients.  But this also meant that he
chose to redefine his relationship with these clients, consciously
crossing the "professional" boundary lines between counselor and
client.  In many cases he became emotionally very close to his clients,
friends, and on occasions much more than that.  And because of his
especially close relationship with Robbie, he was very concerned about
how he would respond to Cris's trip to Boulder, the ten day separation,
and the possibility that Cris might go to Colorado.

    So on late Friday afternoon when Robbie came for his weekly visit,
Cris told him about plans to visit Colorado and the reason behind it.
Cris could tell that Robbie was very unsettled by the idea that he might
move to Boulder, so they began to talk it through.  It took time and
concerted effort on both of their parts, but they were able to discuss it
not only from each of their own individual perspectives, but because of
the synergy that grew out of their relationship, they were also able to
tackle these matters as it affected them together.  Although their
session lasted longer than usual, they had reached a satisfactory end
point for both of them, one they had co-authored.

    Cris had explained that for one thing, this was only a visit.  And
even if, and this was a most remote "if" at this juncture, even if Cris
decided to move to Colorado, Robbie would be more than welcome to come
and stay with him whenever and however long they both felt it was right.
He could visit or even live with him there, if that worked out to be
best.  Cris did not want Robbie to be faced with the abandonment of yet
another close friend so soon after losing Tanner.  As Robbie understood
that at the very least he would be able to visit and maybe even to live
with Cris, if that could be worked out, his anxiety decreased.   And
because they were both approaching the situation in an open and
collaborative manner, they were able to talk about other aspects of the
possible change.  So they ended up having a productive session.

    Actually, it had helped that Robbie had had a very good week,
probably his best so far.  He was beginning to come out of his self
imposed shell, spending more time with his other friends, friends mutual
to both he and Tanner.  After the session was officially over, Cris asked
Robbie if he could take him out to for dinner and Robbie jumped at the
chance.  They usually did this once a month, though less often on the
spur of the moment like this, but Cris felt it would be good for both of
them.  Robbie ran out and brought his mom up so Cris could get her
permission.  Summer and Cris talked while Robbie went into Cris's media
center in an adjoining room and began to play some video games.

    Summer was a very understanding and loving mother, just a bit over
thirty.  She had been raised on a commune north of the Bay Area, had
never married and did not live with Robbie's father, although they were
in much agreement regarding Robbie and shared much of the parenting
responsibility between them.  Summer had been very supportive of the
relationship Robbie and Tanner shared over the years, even when it became
overtly physical and sexual, as she had always understood that Robbie was
sexually independent in his orientation. She loved him in large part
because of this, not in spite of it.

    She was especially proud that Robbie was willing to be himself at a
time when this made the difference between him and the other boys his age
most apparent.  From late elementary school Robbie was willing to stand
against the pressure of masculine conformity that seems to be a given in
our society, and be quite honest about his sexuality, which is such a hot
button issue for early adolescent boys.  It was not an issue of being a
sissy or feminine, because Robbie was nothing of the sort, being both an
outstanding athlete and a gifted swimmer.

    When Robbie was twelve Tanner joined the same competitive swim team.
They quickly became inseparable friends, although this raised some
eyebrows among the other swimmers as well as their own circles of
friends.  During this critical time Summer helped them to work through
many awkward and challenging situations that was a product of other kids
learned cultural homophobic prejudices.  And together they were able to
move beyond them.  She continued to be a strong and wise source of
support for both Robbie and Tanner, whose parents were somewhat less
directly involved, although loving and supportive throughout their entire
relationship, even through the tragic end.

    "Robbie seems to be doing so much better.  We owe you so much,
Cris," she said as they relaxed upstairs in Cris's great room, which was
on the third floor of his home/office.

    "You seem to forget the importance of your own part in all of that,
Summer," said Cris as he handed her a very dry martini he had just
mixed, fully equipped with three olives.

    "OK.  Let's both admit our love for Robbie has been a source of
strength for him.  Robbie says you want to take him out to eat.  You are
so caring and gentle with him.  I really don't know how to thank you
enough, Cris."

    Cris gently swirled his martini, and grinning said,  "Robbie's smile
usually is sufficient payment."  Cris paused.  "Summer, I received a
call from Gwen this weekend  She has asked me to come to Boulder and help
her to develop a youth program like the one we worked on together here."

    Summer looked startled.

    Cris went on in a calm voice, "But I have only agreed to go for a
visit.  In about a month"  He paused for a minute, gauging Summer's
reaction to all of this.

    Summer finally nodded slowly, and looking into her the drink in her
hand, said, "I see."

    Cris continued.  "Umm, I just wanted to say that Robbie means so
much to me, that if I do end up moving to Colorado, although that is not
the plan right now, he is more than welcome to visit whenever he can.  I
have also told him that if things work out, and you approve, he can live
with me there.  I hope that I did not overstep my friendship by not
talking with you first."

    Summer smiled.  "Cris, you know how I feel.  I trust you completely
with Robbie."  She began to say something and stopped, took a sip of her
drink and looked out the windows opposite the couch.  Cris gave her time
to collect her thoughts so she could continue.

    "I guess you know how much Robbie loves you."  Crispin smiled,
raised his left eyebrow slightly and nodded his head.

    "I just don't mean as a friend, Cris, but it's pretty clear that he
has fallen in love with you.  I am sure I am not telling you anything you
don't already know."

    Again Crispin nodded his head slowly in affirmation.

    "Cris, I just wanted to say how much I appreciate the deferential
way that you have worked with him, how you have been so kind and have
done everything in your power not to hurt him.  He worships you and wants
to be your lover."  In spite of the fact that Summer was very open and
frank in all her dealings, talking about this with Cris made her a little
nervous and she looked away from Cris's intense but very loving eyes.

    Cris smiled.  "Summer, I love Robbie, and you know that.  I think he
is incredibly intelligent, compassionate, wise beyond his fifteen years,
and a very, very cute and sexy boy, if you will allow me be so blunt."

    Cris paused and looked out the windows toward the hills across the
Bay.  "But, neither he nor I are ready for anything that goes beyond a
solid friendship, at least right now.  You need to know that I find him
very attractive.  But I want to work this through as delicately as is
humanly possible.  He is still recovering from Tanner's death.   And then
there is my own personal baggage.  I still have not fully recovered from
losing Misha.  You already know about that part of my life.  I don't want
to love Robbie in a way he thinks he needs right now, only to regret it
later.  So, in some ways, this trip to Colorado, the physical space
between Robbie and me, may be a good thing, a necessary thing for both of
us to figure out how we really should express the way we feel toward each
other.  As to how our relationship plays out before I leave, I just don't
know.  But the bottom line is this:  I will never do anything to hurt
Robbie.  And if I ever do leave California, I want you to know that
Robbie is always welcome to visit or live with me anytime, for as long as
he needs or wants to.

    "With your permission, of course," Cris quickly added. smiling.
They both laughed quietly which helped to ease the tension.

    "Thanks, Cris."  Summer set down her glass and leaned over and
kissed him on the check, just as Robbie walked into the room.

    "Whoohoo," he exclaimed in typical teenage fashion.  "I guess Cris
and I can go out to dinner, huh mom?"

    "Smart ass,"  Summer quipped with a smile.

    Cris smiled as well.  "Actually, we had not even discussed that
yet.  Summer, is it alright with you if I take your very handsome son on
a date to a really fabulous Italian restaurant down the coast?  I promise
to not do anything too naughty" Cris said as he looked directly at
Robbie and smiled.  "And  I promise to make every effort to have him
home no later than one, unless, he wants to spend the night here, of
course."

    Summer laughed, "I think I can trust you Cris, but I am not so sure
about my son.  Robbie?  Do you promise to behave yourself and not be a
pest."

    Robbie began to grimace.  "Aw, mom," he said, but with a smile
now.  "You know you can trust me, too."

    "I know, honey.  I was only teasing a boy who is so easy to tease
even I can get away with it.  Have a great time, boys.  See you tonight
or tomorrow, Robbie.  I am sure I will be asleep when you get back if you
come home tonight.  You have your key, sweetheart?"

    Robbie patted the spot on his chest where the key sat on the rawhide
necklace.  "Yep, got it right here safe and sound."

    With that Summer finished her drink, ate the triple olives that were
Cris's martini signature, and headed out the door and down the stairs.
Robbie naturally just fell into Cris's arms and rested his head on Cris's
chest.  "Thanks for being my friend, Cris."