Date: Wed, 27 Feb 2008 23:05:23 -0400
From: Chris Johns <chris-johns@hotmail.com>
Subject: Cruelty to Children 9

Standard rules everyone.

My computer was down for a coouple of days so I am posting 9 & 10 together
by way of apology to all you guys and girls waiting for the next
part. Thanks for continuing to read .

				 Chapter 9

				  My Turn

The boys were great but my original fear surfaced. `What, if I enjoyed sex
with Matt so much, would I do if it stopped.' I had fucked him once before
Kevin and hoped it never happened again. It did and again with Kevin in a
three way orgy. I had become addicted to sex with both these boys. Now I
was trying to be the responsible father and my world was falling apart. I
was actually lusting after both these boys in my head and keeping it in
me. No longing looks, sad or lustful eyes nothing, but inside I was tearing
apart.

Of course every dam will eventually burst if the pressure gets too great
and mine did. One night when Kevin wasn't staying over, thank goodness, I
broke down completely in bed. I had been laying there thinking about Matt,
how much I loved him, how much I wanted to make love to him and the damn
broke. I started crying at my loss and the crying built to loud gut
wrenching sobs. Mental breakdown here we come.

Matt heard and was in my bed cuddling me before I realised it. He was
frantic trying to calm me down but I was beyond solace at that point. I
knew he was there and I am sure I cuddled him but I was out of it. The next
thing I remember was waking up, the sun shining in the window and Mum and
Dad sat either side of my bed, or more precisely my hospital bed. I guessed
what the drips were and also knew what had happened to me. I was relieved I
was so lucid. I hadn't lost it completely.

"Hi Mum, Dad, I'm sorry, I guess I frightened the life out of someone."

"No time to be amusing Jason. Your Mother and Matthew nearly joined you
here. They were both very frightened for you."

"I'm sorry Dad. I can't imagine how you survived my teen years without
this. I think Matt is going to see me into an early grave."

"Our relationship was a little different to you and Matt son. You have to
get to grips with this for the sake of that boy."

"Look after him Dad, I don't know if I can take any more. I'm getting
everything so wrong I think I'm going to see my Matt."

And I was gone.

I fumbled around in another world for a couple of months. In my coma I
found my Matt and even had a conversation with him.

"Go home Jase, I love you but you must leave me and look after your other
Matt, and all the young minds that depend on you to guide them. You can't
let them down."

So I clawed my way back. I was alone when I woke. I could see all the
monitors. I noted all the readings and thought, hell I've been looked
after. Of course my brain activity alerted the staff and I soon had a
couple of doctors and a bevy of nurses round me.

"Good morning Doctor Daniels, kind of you to let us have breakfast before
you woke up."

I knew I was going to like this man.

"My pleasure Doctor. I know you."

" No you don't, you know my father. I'm Sam Fitzgerald, Jnr. I guess."

Sam worked with me most of that day only breaking briefly for lunch. He was
good, a much better psychologist than I was. By the time Matt flew into my
room after school he knew why I had gone into a tailspin.

"Jase, oh God Jase, I thought I had lost you."

My arms were full of one beautiful sobbing boy.

"I wanted to die, I thought you had left me for good."

Sam was behind him as he said that.

"You had better make sure that you are exceptionally good from now on young
man or he might. Matt, when you have calmed down I want you to come and see
me. My office is first left along the corridor and first office on the
right."

We cuddled and he kissed me about a million times before going to talk to
Sam.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 "Matt, come in, sit down. I know your history. I have all Doctor Daniels
notes on you and I have talked to Kevin, your head master and Jason's
parents. I know Jason's problem but only you can solve it."

Matt looked intently at Sam after the last comment.

"How?"

"I can't tell you that but I can tell you the why. That will leave you to
decide the answer to your own question. Jason Daniels loves you more than
life. He would die for you in a heartbeat."

Matt just disintegrated at that expression.

"That's what he told me, please don't let him. I love him so much."

"I'm glad you do Matt because he is going to need every ounce of that love
to get well. Let me tell you Jason's problem. He is a very ethical man,
totally devoted to looking after, and rehabilitating abused young men. When
you came along you turned his world upside down. He fell in love with you
so totally it frightened him. He sought his father's advice and ended up
with you as his son. Unfortunately in his sub-conscious you were loved not
only as a son. His problem now is that he wants to be the father figure,
but it is tearing him up because he wants to make love to you and be your
lover. Matt, you are nearly seventeen. A father might not be as important
to you as he once was. I hope not any way because somehow you have to
encourage Jason to make love to you, and show him that you want this as
well. Do you think you can do that?"

"Oh Jesus Doc. That will be a labour of love, Jason is the most exquisite
lover any gay man could wish for. I love and respect him so much I would
die for him as well. I want him to be my lover for the remainder of my
life."

Sam had not expected that response.

`Why then was this happening at all, both men had been lovers, both men
would die for the other. Where the hell was the problem?'

Sam worked with Jason for another three months before all the pennies
dropped in to place. He had Jason and Matt into his office together.

"Matt, I ought to kick your butt all the way across America. Jason, I
thought you were a child psychologist particularly attuned to Matt. You
ought to be struck off for incompetence, your only mitigating circumstance
is that you were totally blinded by your love for Matt.

You two need to go home and make totally absorbing, totally mind blowing
love to each other. Then Jase, you need to set new limits and new behaviour
patterns that can cover a father/son, friend and lover scenario. If you
come back to me I'll bloody well horsewhip the pair of you, now get out of
my office, and go and love each other."
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
We did, oh did we ever? I think we both thought we were going to die as we
orgasmed. We both cried tears of all consuming happiness and joy. The
trauma had cemented our love better than anything else on earth could have
done. Matt took a week off school with my blessing and we made love three
or four times every day. I would never be able to get enough of my man/
child.

The next week Matt went back to school and I went back to work. Matron was
over the moon. The locums that had stood in for me were almost universally
only interested in their careers, the kids came second. The first one I had
to deal with had been astute enough to pick up on it.

"Huh another fucking climber."

That was my introduction to Ryan Ham.

I said nothing. I looked at him and remembered his notes without looking
down. Another gay youngster, abandoned by parents that were so bigoted
their love for their son couldn't penetrate the fog. I `phoned Matt

"Come over to the centre straight from school will you Matt, I want you to
meet a young man I have just taken on."

Ryan watched me warily.

"How long have you been here Ryan?"

"Three months, but you know that."

"Yes I do. I have been away for six months so you have had, let me see. Oh
yes, three counsellors. Not very good for you huh?"

"So you bloody care. How long will you be here getting brownie points for
your next high paid promotion."

"Mmm, a lot longer than you are going to need me."

"Yeah in my dreams. So Doc what do you want to talk about?"

"Nothing boy, it's already all in your notes. Let's go for a walk."

He was off balance just the way I wanted him for a little while.

"I like the walks round the centre Ryan, I can spy on my charges without it
looking as though I am."

He looked at me and sneered.

"You aren't very smart Doc, I'll tell all the guys when we finish."

"Mmm, I'd worry about that if they didn't already know."

More confusion.

"I'm the resident Ryan. You boys are my life, I'm going to look after you
and see that you get a fighting chance in this world."

"Yeah right, why don't I believe you?"

"Because the locums told you the same thing."

He looked at me and I squatted down in front of him.

"You are twelve years old and you have been dealt a pretty shitty hand. I
can't help that, but I can make sure that you get a few winning hands in
the future."

"Yeah like you care."

"Yeah like I care"

Funny look again.

Matt turned up then carrying a backpack full of books again.

"Another load of assignments tonight Matt."

"Yeah, I guess. It's getting worse as we build to final exams. Don't worry
though Jase I'm going to ace all of the exams for you and then I'm going to
ace my degree for me."

We grinned at each other and I hugged him.

"Matt I'd like to introduce you to Ryan Ham. I think we may drag him to the
torture chamber this weekend. Think you can handle a full weekend torturing
a new boy. Probably end up like Damien."

"Oh yeah, I hope so Jase, he's almost as cute as Damien as well isn't he?"

"Yeah I guess he is." We both leered at him and then dissolved in laughter.

Ryan looked startled and then almost shouted at us.

"You're a couple of queers, you aren't touching me."

Matt and I laughed even harder. Eventually I calmed down and pulled Ryan
down on to the grass with me.

"Now, we've had our fun, you deserve yours. Matt was like you some years
ago, only much worse, we got to him just before his father beat him to
death. He's now my foster Son and I love him very much. He has tons of love
to spare so between us, some weekends we take a boy from the centre and
keep him with us. This weekend you are the lucky guy. You can do one of two
things Ryan, enjoy it or spend it looking for the angles. Please enjoy
it. I love my weekends with my son, don't spoil one for me, just come and
enjoy it with us."

Definitely confused and unsure. Matt so obviously loved me and vice versa
but we were father and son as far as he could make out.

"Ok, what do I have to lose?"

"Nothing I guess. We'll work together all week and see how you feel on
Friday. No pressure, you can spend it here or with Matt and I. He will have
lots of school assignments to do because he is a senior but we will still
have time for some fun I hope."

During the course of the week from talking to other boys and staff Ryan
knew that I was a long-term presence in the centre and might just be
someone he could trust, well trust a little bit.

When we arrived home on Friday I showed him round the apartment and put his
bag in Matt's room.

"You have three choices tonight youngster. You can sleep with Matt, you can
sleep with me or you can sleep here by yourself, Matt won't mind giving up
his bed for you."

"If I sleep by myself where will Matt sleep?"

"With me, we often do when one of us feels lonely or wants some serious
cuddles or we just want each other's company for longer than our normal
routine allows."

"And if I sleep with either of you do you want sex with me?"

Ah, this was new, I had been trying to fathom whether his sexuality alone
was the problem with his family.

"Ryan, I think you are a little young to have made a final decision on your
sexuality, but whichever way you jump it won't be from experience you get
here. You will probably get lots of hugs and kisses if we get to know you
well because Matt and I are very touchy feely but I promise whoever you
sleep with you won't be getting any sex."

He looked a little unsure.

"Do you want to talk about the sex thing?"

He looked away from me.

"No thank you."

"Ryan, Matt and I are good listeners, we are never judgmental and anything
you told us would be treated in the strictest confidence. I adopted Matt
from the centre after his father nearly beat him to death for being
gay. His best friend is gay as well but neither of them will touch you,
they do however understand you so try to enjoy your time with us. On Sunday
we may try to spend a couple of hours with another little boy who we had
adopted from the centre, like you we brought him home some weekends."

Overload I think for a twelve year old. I scooped him up in my arms and
walked him through to the lounge. Matt was watching cartoons so we joined
him and Ryan soon relaxed into my body obviously enjoying the cuddles. When
the cartoons finished I sent Matt off to start on his assignments while
Ryan and I went to rustle up supper. We pigged out on burgers and fries.

"Wow, Ryan you had better come home with us every weekend if I can eat this
stuff, Jase doesn't let me have this very often."

Big grins on two boy's faces, we were going in the right direction.

Saturday chores and shopping completed by Ryan and I while Matt worked.

"Is Matt clever Doctor Daniels?"

"Mmm, I'm not sure whether he's clever or whether it's all the hard work he
puts in."

"Why does he work so hard?"

"Because when he came to live with me he asked me what he had to do so I
told him. Go to school every day, work hard and get good grades and he
does."

"Why?"

"Because he loves me and wants me to be proud of him now that he's my son."

"How can you be proud of him if he's gay?"

"Because being gay is what he is not who he is. When you get to know him
you will see that he is very special and it doesn't matter that he's gay."

"But my parents told me I was evil because I was gay and no one would ever
love me again, that I would live a lonely and unloved life before going to
hell for my sins."

"Interesting concept Ryan, heaven and hell. Try this one as being much
closer to the truth in my eyes. God made all of us in his image, He gave us
all our personalities and the genes that define us. If we are good enough
for God I guess even your parent's opinions can be taken with a pinch of
salt. I have only known you for a week but I think you are a very loveable
young man. I am pleased you have come home with me for the weekend and I am
sure Matt will tell you the same by the time we go to work and school on
Monday. If you come home with us very often you will be getting lots of
cuddles which is Matt's and my way of letting you know that we care and
being straight or gay has nothing to do with it."

I guess the explanation satisfied him because he snuggled in even closer to
me. He was a little older than Damien was when we had taken him in but the
need for affection was just as strong. Once again my anger at parents
boiled up. How could anyone just abandon a child that they had conceived
and brought up for, in this case twelve years? Did some people have a
switch they could turn on and off, `I love you today but I'll switch it off
tomorrow if you don't conform to my model.'

My love for Matt had never been conditional, if he had turned into a
problem child I would still have loved him and tried even harder to bury
his bad side with my love. I truly did believe that love could conquer all,
luckily I had never had to put that to the test.

Sunday was fun, we left the apartment after breakfast and spent the day in
pursuits that boys loved. Zoo, adventure park, swimming but not at a pool,
in a river with lots of obstacles for them to overcome, so many ways to
cross the river and nearly all of them resulting in a dunking. We had
broken that up with another mass of junk food. I would have to stop that
very quickly or I would have a couple of little fatties on my hands. Home
for a light supper and some TV before bedtime. Ryan had slept with Matt
Friday and Saturday but asked if he could sleep with me on Sunday.

"Not a problem for me Ryan, I might even jump into bed the same time as you
tonight we have had quite a day and I'm bushed."

Matt found an excuse to get me alone for a quick chat.

"Jase, he likes to sleep naked and he is like me, he likes to cuddle and he
gets a hard on."

"Thanks Matt, I guess I'd better wear boxers tonight then."

Matt giggled and replied.

"Ah, I was hoping you'd say oh well lets all sleep together naked and Ryan
can be the filling in our sandwich."

I looked a bit shocked and Matt picked up on what I thought he meant.

"Oh no Jase, I don't mean for sex, just cuddles."

Comfort level back to normal.

Matt was correct though. We all did go to bed at the same time and as soon
as we got into bed Ryan very shyly asked me if I would cuddle him. That was
never going to be a problem for me. He was cute and his skin was so soft I
am sure it had been made to cuddle and caress. He did get a hard on and I
could feel his little cocklet digging into my thigh, but as I had done with
Matt I didn't let it bother me. I don't think it ever would have done. I
realised that although I made love to Kevin occasionally I actually never
instigated, or truly wanted sex with anyone but Matt.

It was fun the next morning having another body to get ready for school. In
the case of Ryan of course it was a quick dash to the centre for him to
change into school clothes and then I dropped him off before returning to
the centre to work with the boys that weren't deemed ready to go into
mainstream education again yet.I had a lot of catching up to do. The
locum's notes were all written to impress rather than to inform so I was
having to tread carefully with all the boys that I didn't know. Building
trust was proving difficult with some because of the number of people that
had sat in my chair while I recovered from my break down. I began to
realise that most of these boys were gay and that was nearly always the
reason parents rejected them. I started to wonder if it would be possible
to get the parents in to re-educate them but closer study showed that they
were invariably from fundamentalist Christian churches where the ministers
preached hell fire and eternal damnation for gays. Narrow bigoted thinking,
how I hated religion in almost all its forms. More wars, more pestilence,
more deaths in the name of religion than ever good came from it. Buddhism
for the world was the answer I thought. Everyone would be far too busy
seeking inner peace to want to fight their neighbours.

A good week all in all, Matt had so much work he tended to fall into bed
every night completely wasted mentally but I didn't mind, it was my bed and
we had cuddles every night before he drifted off to sleep, sometimes half
way through a sentence. I would be pleased when his final exams were out of
the way. I felt a little guilty that he still worked on the tenet I had
laid down his first day with me. Go to school every day, work hard and get
good grades. Well he had certainly done that. The week of his final exams I
hardly saw him. He ate with me and he slept with me, looking increasingly
haggard. I pampered him as best I could keeping any home pressure
completely away from him. I knew he was studying late most nights because I
was beating him to bed but I wouldn't put pressure on him to ease off. When
it was finished I took him out for a very special dinner and had Ryan join
us. The therapy was perfect. I knew how much Matt blossomed when he could
lavish affection on one of my boys and of course Ryan loved it. He had
become part of my family almost and I was worried about losing him the same
as I had been Damien.

Matt surprised me, he was the school Valedictorian and he and the principal
had kept it from me until his graduation day. I don't think I had ever been
so proud of anything or anyone in my life and tears of happiness soaked his
shoulder when we hugged after his speech.

Matt went to the graduation dance taking one of the girls from his class. I
was surprised until he confided in me that she was window dressing for him
and vice versa because she was a Lesbian. I laughed, devious little bugger
and I had always believed he wasn't devious. It was acceptable though
because it kept him safe from bigots.  They both enjoyed themselves and
Kevin had done a similar thing with a girl from his class that knew he was
gay but liked his company even though she wasn't.

Both boys were going to their first choice colleges to study medicine. Matt
had decided he would get too emotional to do the same as me but he still
wanted to help people particularly kids and Sam Fitzgerald and his son had
become friends, Sam Snr. being Matt's career role model.

Matt and I talked about Ryan. He was nearly thirteen, another boy that was
unlikely to be adopted and would almost certainly only go to foster homes
where the money was the motivator rather than love for the child.

"Would you mind if you had a brother to come home to Matt?"

That was how I opened the talk. Matt looked a little upset.

"Will he take my place Jase?"

Ah, the thought process was what I had expected.

"Well yes you know out with the old, find a new boy to make love to and
keep me warm on winter nights."

I was grinning from ear to ear as I said it and Matt blushed.

"No you Klutz, no one will ever take your place. I will never have sex with
Ryan even if he chooses to sleep with me every night while you are at
college. I had sex with you Matt because of the depth of my love. I will
never feel like that about another person but I love Ryan and want a good
home for him. I don't think he has much chance otherwise."

"I agree Jase, I love him as well and can't promise that I won't have sex
with him, he is very cute."

He was grinning as well, I don't think he was serious but I was going to
cover all the bases.

"If you do, you make sure it is loving sex and be gentle, but you
shouldn't."

Matt was almost dumb struck. Eventually he did manage to string some words
together.

"Wouldn't you mind?"

"Yes Matt I would mind a lot but not as much as Kevin would I think."

Food for thought and I did start the ball rolling on fostering Ryan. He had
been with us for a lot of weekends and had settled in very well. I had
successfully seen Matt through his entire mental trauma and produced a
Valedictorian from the ashes of his previous life. My reputation had spread
and job offers were a regular feature of my life so I was sure a judge
would be happy to allow me Ryan. I might even be able to go for full-blown
adoption, in which case I would officially adopt Matt as well.

I talked it over with a friendly social worker who I had bonded with
through the centre.

"I have never heard of a single man getting adoption of someone Ryan's age
but I think Jase, that if you try to adopt both Matt and Ryan, with Matt
being eighteen and therefore legally allowed to choose without judicial
interference you might achieve it. Give me the word and I'll set the wheels
in motion."

I thanked her and told her to hold off until I had talked to both the
boys. I got hold of Ryan when he returned from school the next day. He
usually dropped in to see me and tell me about his day before I left the
centre. After he had finished telling me I asked him.

"Ryan I am so pleased with your progress I have to look at releasing you
from the centre and putting you in one of the Authorities children's homes
ready to be adopted or fostered."

I saw the disappointment on his face, not shock because he knew it would
happen one day. He was about to speak but I held up my hand and continued.

"However, if you would like I will ask to foster you myself as I did with
Matt."

I stopped then to see what response I got. Almost a whisper.

"Do you mean that Jase?"

"Of course I do I wouldn't say it if I didn't.

"Oh yes please."

"Good, I actually want to go an extra step if you say I can try. I want to
adopt you so that you are my legal son. So you will be Ryan Daniels if we
are successful."

His eyes shone, and then he surprised me with his next statement.

"Oh yes Jase, but what about Matt, he isn't your son, won't he mind?"

"Would it upset you if he did?"

"I love Matt, Jase I wouldn't ever want to upset him."

I could have eaten him, what a lovely caring thing to say.

"I am going to adopt Matt at the same time if he wants it. The reason I
haven't before Ryan is because I am a single man, but my success with Matt
and this centre may tip the balance with you."

I telephoned Arian and asked her to start the ball rolling as fast as she
liked with Ryan. I would have my attorney draw up the papers for Matt and
we could try to get them into court together.

Summer holidays were on us in no time and with a little help from Arian I
had Ryan on release from the centre for the whole time. Five years
difference between Ryan and Matt but they were almost inseparable. I
started to wonder about Matt and Kevin's relationship. Kev was back to his
two or three times a week eating with us and joining us for a lot of
weekend activities. What were they going to do about sex now that Ryan was
sleeping over every night?

"Family conference Jase."

So we did, Matt, Kevin and Ryan sat down with me soon after we were settled
in for the summer.

"Jase, Ryan knows that Kevin and I are lovers, he also knows that some
nights I like to sleep with you for cuddles and long chats. As long as you
don't object we would like to institute this routine. Some nights if I want
Kev to sleep over Ryan will sleep with you. If I want to sleep with you
Ryan won't mind sleeping by himself. There will be nights when we sleep at
Kev's and that won't need organising for you and Ryan, you can both please
yourself. I would like your permission to introduce Ryan to gay sex, he has
his sex education classes but that isn't like actually doing it and he has
reached puberty now."

Now I was really up against it, I had sex with Matt when he was only a
couple of years older than Ryan but I was fifteen years older than Matt. He
was talking about having sex with a boy only five years younger than
himself. I should say no, but that would make me sound like a hypocrite
after what I had done but I couldn't openly agree to let him have illegal
sex with Ryan.

"Jeez Matt, you are never going to make my life easy are you? You know that
I can't possibly sanction you and Ryan having sex. You are now an adult, if
you have sex with Ryan you could go to prison and be on the sex offender's
register for life. Your whole life would be down the drain. You would never
be allowed to work with children. I have to say categorically no to
practical lessons where you actually touch each other. If you want to
discuss it further we will do it in private. The remainder of your plans
are ok provided Ryan and Kevin are comfortable with that."

"I am Jase," from Kevin.

"Me too," from Ryan.

Matt and I had the private talk.

"I know I sound like a hypocrite Matt after what you and I did but you were
older and more mature for your age than Ryan is. Also I was so in love with
you I could refuse you nothing however serious the risk to my career
was. Ryan is more volatile than you emotionally. He loves us both but that
could all change if he had a touch of jealousy. You have to be so very
careful about touching him. I would die if anything bad happened to you."

Good boy, he took it on board and I found out that he and Kevin gave
practical lessons to Ryan by showing not touching him. Matt promised him he
would take his cherry at sixteen. A bit of deja vue I thought and had a
laugh about it. A few weeks into summer and Ryan had his thirteenth
birthday.

"What would you like to do on your birthday Ryan?" was a question I should
definitely not have asked.

"Will you let me come to bed with you Jase?"

"Of course, but you do that all the time."

"Yeah, but this time will you be naked like me?"

He was blushing as he said it so I grabbed him and tickled him until he
begged me to stop.

"No young man I will not go to bed with you naked."

"But you do normally and you do with Matt."

I glared at Matt.

"Sorry Jase, we sleep naked and he asked me if you and I did when I slept
with you. I never thought of the implications of telling him the truth."

"Ok Matt, forgiven, you know I don't like you to lie, even if it is only a
little white one. Ryan, you and I sleeping nude could cause us problems. I
know how aroused you get when you sleep with me. I wouldn't want it to get
worse, which I'm sure it would if I were naked as well. On top of which,
I'm not made of stone either. I love you young man and I love it when we
cuddle, going the next step would not be difficult so we have to keep a
layer of clothing between us, end of story."

He pouted but said nothing else. I pulled him into my lap and cuddled him.

"All this touchy feely stuff has implications doesn't it?"

He looked up at me and nodded.

"We can always stop it if it is becoming too much for you."

"Oh no Jase, I'll be good in bed. Don't stop cuddling me I like it sooo
much."

We both giggled, crisis averted for now, but I didn't believe for one
minute it was over.

Later that night when Ryan was tucked up in bed I asked Matt how he
managed. He blushed and I wondered if I really wanted to hear this.

"I don't exactly have to fight him off Jase but I do have to be quite
forceful stopping him playing with me. It's really difficult because he is
so cute and I would like to make love to him."

I nodded and replied, "Yeah, tell me about it."

"What, you as well Jase?"

"Mmm afraid so. Not terribly difficult for me but certainly a temptation."

"Do you think you might succumb when I go off to college?"

"I hope not, he's not as persuasive as you and my feelings for him don't
compare either. Don't get me wrong Matt, I love the little guy but I'm sure
not many people have enough love for two at the depth that I have for you."

"Truly Jase."

"Of course, you are still my life Matt that is never going to change."

He moved in close to me and kissed me full on the lips very passionately. I
was lost, he could still devastate me with just a kiss. I hugged him tight
and blessed whatever force had propelled me into this relationship. No
wonder I thought the world of Kevin, he had brought us together. How I
would love to slide off to that other world occasionally to talk with my
first Matt. I know he would be happy for me because we had a love for each
other that rivalled my love for Matt Mk.2 without the physical side.  The
birthday eventually gravitated to a party, which included boys and girls
from Ryan's class. We devised lots of silly games with Matt and Kevin
leading the fun.

End of the summer and Matt was preparing for college when we got the court
date. I became a walking wreck until the big day. Matt tried to calm me.

"You'll definitely have one son at the end of today Jase, so the very worst
result is 50% success, that's not a bad starting point."

Of course he was right and I could influence nothing. It was silly to get
so worked up.

Court day and the judge's opening comment didn't bode well.

"Why have I got two totally different cases in the same docket?"

The clerk gave a lousy explanation so my attorney jumped in.

"If it pleases your honour, perhaps I could give you a more lucid
explanation."

"Oh very well, go ahead."

"Four years ago Dr. Jason Daniels, the Child Psychiatrist at the abused
boys centre was allowed to foster the first name in your docket, Matthew
Owens. He was severely physically and emotionally damaged and despite being
a single man it was considered that Doctor Daniels would be a better
placement than a regular couple of foster parents. That boy is now eighteen
and wishes to be adopted by Doctor Daniels. His record as his school
Valedictorian speaks volumes for Doctor Daniels success. The second boy is
Ryan Ham, thirteen and fully rehabilitated by Doctor Daniels. He is now on
the list for fostering or adopting. Although it would probably only be a
formality for Doctor Daniels to foster him he wishes to adopt him
completely. We hope your honour will see that being a single man has not
affected his ability to bring up an abused child successfully."

The judge called Matt to the stand after perusing the papers for a while.

"Why do you want formal adoption now young man, you can make all your own
decisions without this?"

"Your honour, Jason Daniels made me whole when I was badly damaged. I love
him so much for what he has done for me and have always worked to make him
proud of me. I intend to continue to make him proud of me and to do it
carrying his name is my greatest wish."

"Humph, and what about this other boy, why would you want him as your
brother?"

"Ryan is already like my brother your honour. I love him too. He has lived
with us on a temporary custody order all summer. I think it will be great
to come home from college to both those guys."

Matt was beaming as he looked at Ryan and I.

Ryan was next.

"Why do you want Doctor Daniels to be your father?"

Ryan was totally overawed by the judge and couldn't speak. Arian picked up
on it and moved across the courtroom to give Ryan a cuddle and speak to him
softly.

"My own parents threw me out because I am gay, but Doctor Daniels loves me
because of who I am not what I am. I love him too, please let him be my
daddy."

Then he burst into tears and I was across the courtroom and scooped him
into my arms in a second, calming him down. He hugged me tight and said
loud enough for the judge to hear.

"I love you so much Jase, don't let them take me away from you."

"Miss Delray, would you like to tell me why Social Services have
recommended this adoption be sanctioned."

"Your Honour, Jason Daniels has an unenviable task but his record shows an
incredibly high success level in rehabilitating abused boys. Many of them
with deep emotional scars that heal slowly, if at all in most cases around
the country but Jason exceeds our wildest dreams with his success
rate. Matt Owens is probably his greatest success. The little boy behind me
is a close second and now Ryan, but the list is almost endless and that in
only five years."

"Who is the boy behind you?"

"Damien, please come here and talk to the judge."

Joan took Damien's hand and walked with him to the bench.

"And who are you Ma'am?"

"My husband and I adopted Damien from the centre after seeing him with
Dr. Daniels."

"Would you like Dr. Daniels to have two sons Damien?"

"Oh yes please, they both love me lots, like Uncle Jase."

The judge looked quizzically at Joan.

"Jason Daniels loves our son your honour and we know how much we owe Jason
for him so we have a kind of adopted uncle for Damien as well."

"Hmm, thank you. Doctor Daniels, you sound too good to be true. Have you no
flaws?"

I laughed.

"Oh yes your honour, I'm afraid I have plenty, I'm not a candidate for
saint hood that's for certain."

"Care to enumerate a few of them."

I felt very uncomfortable at this form of questioning.

"Well, I suppose my biggest failing is the anger I feel at the way some
parents treat their children, I get over emotional. I guess I love all of
these damaged boys much more than I should. But they give me so much
pleasure when they rejoin society as whole persons again."

I won't bore you with details of the grilling the judge gave me, but his
last comment before he gave his decision tickled me.

"Just how many more boys will you adopt if I allow this one."

I think I shocked him with my answer.

"I'm not sure your honour. I am hoping to buy a big house before the end of
the year. I might just try to fill all the bedrooms with my adopted sons."

I was grinning as I said it so I'm not sure whether he thought I was
serious or not. The verdict was good. I went home accompanied by Matthew
Daniels and Ryan Daniels. As soon as we were in the apartment I looked very
sternly at both boys and said.

"Now you will definitely have to behave yourselves with me. Any sexual
advances you make to me now will be incest."

We all fell about laughing when they saw I wasn't serious, but I actually
was with regard to Ryan. I would of course continue to make love to Matt,
he was my life. The only worry there was Ryan finding out that when Matt
slept with me we had sex.


Discovery next time and Jason has some serious heartsearching to do.