Date: Sun, 24 Jul 2016 21:44:27 -0700
From: justwriting@soniq.org
Subject: Dade Knows what he wants Part 1

Previous Story: Army Brother Gets Drunk
Link: https://www.nifty.org/nifty/gay/adult-youth/army-brother-gets-drunk


Author's Note:

This story is told from an 13 year old's perspective, as narrator and
protagonist, writing to a email pen pal from a school project. He and his
friend, Micah, swap stories about their adventures.

DISCLAIMER: The following content may contain detailed descriptions of
sexual interactions between a minor and adult. If the laws in your place of
residence or your religious beliefs make it illegal or wrong to read such,
do not continue. If this type of content offends you, do not continue.

Any similarities to real people, places, and events are entirely
coincidental. This work of fiction is NOT based on any real people, places
or events.

Nifty operates free for us only because there's people donate to keep it
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Feedback and such to justwriting@soniq.org.

Thanks, and on to the story.


Dear Micah,

Hey Bud! I'm sorry, it's been a while since I wrote ya. School ended for
the year, and once the summer started, my family took us to the cottage in
the mountains, and there's like, NO internet.

So let's see - last time I talked to you was what? My sister's wedding,
yeah. Well, a few things have changed since then. My brother Josh went back
to the army about 3 months ago. After that night he got drunk, we got
really close, and I miss him. He also taught me a couple things. Like.. I
kinda think I'm about 80% gay. I mean, we've talked about it before, so you
know I've kinda always thought I was bi.. but now it's pretty much all
about guys. I can't seem to get enough of them. I mean, I'm not trying to
be a whore or anything, but every time i jerk off, it's all I think of. Do
you still date that girl we talked about last time, or did you go back to
guys again? Honestly, I think it's so cool that we got paired up on that
school project. I mean, who knew we'd have so much in common?

So yeah. I am 13 now. I started playing soccer at school, and it's actually
making me look pretty good. I'm 5'6", and I think I actually have some abs!
I mean, it's not like a movie star 6 pack or anything.. I don't even think
it's a 3-pack.. but it's kinda cool to be the most built guy in gym
class. Well, I'm not the most built on the soccer team, but I'm getting
there. My legs are like, pure muscle right now. Also, I've been growing out
my hair. My sister says I look like some singer named 'Aaron Carter'. I
don't know what he sings, but I did a google search.. He's all old now, but
I guess in the 90's he kinda looked like me. Though, I hope I don't look
that Basic! LOL. I think all the practices are helping my body all over.. I
eat like a pig, and yet I still keep tone. Also, I think it's making my
junk bigger. It's almost 5 1/2 inches now! I measure it a lot - I think I
got an extra inch just from the beginning of the season! Josh, my brother,
told me that I'm gonna break some hearts. Before he left, he said that if I
keep working out, I'll get to be as big as him. I hope that's true. Of
course, he's uncut, so i'll never have that.. but I can't say I'd complain
about having an 8" dick... LOL.

Anyway, I have to tell you about a couple things. Remember how I told you
about when josh did me at the wedding? And.. how I kinda liked it? Well, I
think I am obsessed about it. I mean, I am jerking off like twice a day,
and I'm always horny. So I tried to get him to do it again. Like, a few
months ago, we were driving around, and I kept seeing his cock move around
in his shorts. We were alone in his keep, just driving to the beach, so I
reached over and tried to touch it. I mean, we hadn't really done anything
since that night, so I was being really bold. He totally waved me off. I
mean, he took my hand and pulled it off him. I didn't know what to say, I
was so embarassed. We drove in silence for like, ever.. but then he was
finally like, "Dade, I didn't mean to confuse you about things. We're
brothers. What happened was just.. It was just a guy getting it out of his
system."

I watched him. His eyes glassed over, like he was looking into space, like
he was remembering something and didn't know how to decide on what it
was. You know what I mean? I didn't know what to say, but thankfully he
kept going.

"I know we didn't really talk about this, but I guess I need to tell you
the straight up. You see, little man, I'm not really into guys. I got
drunk, and rejected by that bitch at the wedding.. I know you may like
dudes, and that's cool. I just can't be one of them. We're brothers. I love
you, but I can't be a boyfriend." He sighed a bit, and I know he was
waiting for me to look at him, but I was confused. I was angry. Like, that
time we had got us so much closer, and now he's telling me that it was just
nothing? Like, what? I am just some hooker? I don't know, I was just
pissed.

"Fine." I said. He started to pull over, and I rolled my eyes. I mean,
really?

"Dade. Come on, man? I'm sorry. I don't mean to make you think that I don't
love you. You're my brother, and you made me feel really great that
night. But I am into girls, and.. well, you're by BROTHER. It's not right
to have anything more than what we've had. All guys play around a bit, and
they all experiment.. but it's not supposed to mean anything. It's just
supposed to help us figure out what we want." He leaned into me, and pulled
my chin to face him.

I was tearing up a little, but I knew he was right. Why was this such a big
deal? I didn't know what to say, but he just kept waiting for something.

I mean, Michah, I know I'm still making some guy/girl choices, but I
thought I knew one thing. I thought that my brother loved me, and loved
being with me. I didn't think he was into girls anymore. I was stupid to
think that, and like, I just had this weird dream in my head that he'd be
around to teach me and stuff. But, at that moment, I guess I figured it all
out.

"Look Josh. I am not a kid, ok? Gawd, I KNOW you're not a homo. I KNOW
we're brothers. Geez." I sniffled a bit, I didn't want to cry in front of
him. "I just thought that what we did was something cool, and I wanted to
do more stuff."

I pulled away from his hand holding my chin, and he let me go. I looked out
the window, and I don't know why, but it all came blurting out. All of it.

"Josh, you don't get it. Like, before that night, you weren't like my
brother. You were just some guy who lived in the house and then ran away to
the Army. After you got back, you were like my brother again. I dunno. You
started to teach me how to play soccer and we hang out all the time.. I
don't know WHAT I am.. I see girls, they are hot, I see guys, they are
hot. I just wanted to figure it out. All I know right now is that you, and
my left hand, are the only times I've done stuff.. And I know I want
more. Hell, it's all I can think about." I was kind of shouting at this
point, but it really helped.

It all like, clicked, you know? I wasn't in love with him as a boyfriend. I
think, honestly, I was just horny for more EXPERIENCE. It was all making
sense. The flood of tears stopped. I finally understood what an epiphany
was. LOL. I wasn't into him.. I was into SEX. And since he was all I've
had, I confused the two.

Josh looked at me and started to laugh. "Yeah, Dade, I think I get it. I'll
always be here for ya, as your brother."

It was kind of at that moment that I figured it out. I needed to get
laid. Josh and I went to the beach after that, had a great time. He got me,
and it was awesome. He would even point out dudes he thought were gay, and
we'd openly chat about if they were cute, or if they were worth it. Of
course, the girls there didn't go un-noticed, and he had his fair share of
winks and conversations... a couple KIKs and such also, but as I told you
before, he's hot. Everyone knows it.

Wow, so that's like, a lot of typing, but I wanted you to get and
understanding of where I am at now. Josh left, and I was pretty sure I
wanted to find a guy. A boyfriend. Yeah, That would be great, but I don't
think that's really gonna happen yet. I don't want to go on chat or
Facebook about this yet. I just want to learn how to do things.

And that's when I met Mark. Michah, I can't tell you what I think about
this guy. I mean, he's... kinda perfect.

After Josh left for the Army, I was back to doing nothing around the house,
and my dad told me I had to get a job. I mean, come on! It's summer, and
I'm 13. It's not like we needed the money. But whatev' - So I got this job
a couple weeks ago at this diner. It's a crappy place, the food kind of
sucks, but the people are nice. My boss is this old guy who only wants to
do crossword puzzles, so me ant the other workers can pretty much do
whatever as long as the customers get orders.  Well, one thing, because I
am 13, they only let me work four hours a day, and I can't use the grill
yet. Something about safety. Like I've never cooked on a stove or
something, right? So they made me a waiter at the counter. Most of the
time, I just get a couple older people, some weirdos, and coffee
drinkers. But, about 2 days after I started, this guy came in.

Michah, when I first saw him, I practically dropped an entire order of
breakfast. I don't know why, but I couldn't stop staring at him. He was
about 30 years old. If I had to pick an actor, i'd say he looked liked that
guy From Kyle XY - Matt Dallas. Like, deep eyes, dark wavy hair.. I don't
what to say. He was just.. hot. Of course, as soon I balanced the
breakfast, he was staring RIGHT at me.. and he sat in my section. So I HAD
to serve him. I think I was ten shades of red when I got up to his spot at
the counter.

"Good recovery." He said, and smiled at me. I just blushed harder.

"I, uh, drink." I stammered. Wait, what?

"If you mean, what would I like? Coffee is fine." He laughed, and pulled
out his tablet. I watched him for a second, not sure what to do. Finally, I
clicked out of it. Do your job, Dade! LOL.

"Ok, cool. Creamer with that?" The fog was lifting and I was able to keep
up. I had a few other orders, and brought him his coffee as I passed by
with a plate of food for the lady two seats down. When I came back, he was
ready with an order. I had gotten back to normal, and he seemed
uninterested in me personally. I got it, I was just a waiter. He ate and
left, paying in cash. I took his bill to cash it out and noticed
something. He had written an extra smiley face on the back of the ticket,
and there was a 15$ TIP. That's like 3x more than his breakfast! I'm
telling you buddy - If I wanted to get my attention, that's a good way to
do it.

Anyway, he started coming in every day. Same order, same seat. Same
waiter. It got easier to talk to him, and the diner was never too busy that
I couldn't chat for a couple minutes. As I said, his name was Mark. He was
new in town, moved here to do some work on something with the way our bus
system's GPS worked. I didn't get it all, but I was happy to hear him
talk. He always wore a casual suit, like he was going in to work. Even on
the days that he would tell me he was not working, he still wore them. I
was impressed. I think when I get older, I'm going to dress up every
day. It's just kinda cool, you know?

There were a couple of things I made sure to notice. For one, he didn't
wear a wedding ring. I know that doesn't always mean anything... but he
always seemed to talk to me specifically. I remember once, Julie, the
hostess, tried to take his order. He told her that I had already taken it,
even though I hadn't had a chance to even say hi to him yet. I mean, I knew
what he wanted, so I quickly put it into the computer., But to me, it was
like I was the only one he wanted. And I really wanted him. I just, well, I
mean, I didn't know the signals. And he was WAY older than me. I mean, what
would he want with a kid like me?

I found out last week. Oh crap, My battery on this iPad is going to
die. I'll send you more later, ok, Michah!

XOXO from the USA!  -- Dade