Date: Sat, 20 Jan 2001 14:09:37 -0500
From: Charlie <charlieje@nc.rr.com>
Subject: David's Chrismas Present Suspended

            XII THANK YOU AND GOOD-BYE

My dear readers:

I am very sorry to report that this will be my last posting to Nifty.
Something has happened in my life that has caused a serious crisis for the
entire family, consequently I have had to make some rather difficult
choices, one of them being to stop writing gay oriented fiction.

I had planned to go ahead and finish this story, because it only had a
chapter or two more to run anyway, but I find I simply cannot write! Right
now, and probably for some time to come, I just don't have any creative
juices. So I'm sorry, you will just have to decide on your own conclusion,
or if someone else wants to pick it up and finish it, you have my blessing
and thanks.

I have made so many friends here, have received such overwhelming support,
it's like abandoning a family; but I have another family, and I've had to
make a choice. It may be too late, but I've got to try. Anyone who has ever
had a loving, caring family like the one I've been so proud of will agree,
it is worth anything and everything to save. Right now we are pretty
tattered, but we do all love each other, in fact my 31 year old son only
last night, even while giving me more shit than I thought he had in him,
stopped long enough to tell me he still loves me AND STILL RESPECTS ME!!!
Maybe some day I can write about this real life experience... it would
certainly make for interesting reading. But the bottom line is, with love
like that, I think we can survive, and I for one am going to give it one
hell of a try!

I have not even mentioned my wife, and she probably prefers that I don't,
but I cannot let this post go online without mentioning what an incredible
person she is. My stopping my writing was not her ultimatum, in fact she
very specifically stated that she would NOT ask me to give it up. But it is
no secret that it makes her uncomfortable, not to mention the time I spend
at the keyboard is time away from her. I think that time is better spent
trying to rebuild what I've destroyed.

Sorry, I got off the track. I just wanted to thank each and every one who
has ever written me. You all have thanked me, praised me, Critiqued both
positively and negatively, and I think I have gained from every one of
them! You folks have really been terrific!

Of course everyone of Nifty has GOT to know what a great job David, the
Nifty Archivist is doing; but for those of you who don't write, you may not
know just how extensive his support is. He gets files from all over the
world, in all sorts of different formats, and he is expected to get them
somehow into the archives in a form that we all can read. He gives us
readers feedback constantly about errors we make in posting, header
discrepancies, typos, and on and on and on. I am constantly amazed at the
support he has given me alone, and I am one of how many authors???? So to
you, David, THANK YOU! From me, on behalf of all authors, and on behalf of
all readers: again, THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!

Please don't ask me the nature of the crisis because I won't tell any more
than I tell on here. Suffice to say that the song I am going to quote is
very significant. I received an email from a loyal reader and critic (well,
hardly a critic, all he ever said was nice things) asking about this
song. I had mentioned in in David's Christmas, but hadn't quoted it, and he
couldn't find the words. So for you, and you know who you are, here is
"Spirit of a Boy, Wisdom of a man."

He was sixteen, tender and tough
She was too and he'd do anything to prove hislove
With so much riding on the choice at hand
The spirit of a boy, or the wisdom of a man.

Hearts caught fire, love ran wild
She cried the day she called to say she was having his child
With so much riding on the choice at hand
The spirit of a boy, or the wisdom of a man


There's a constant contradiction, what feels good and what feels right
You live with decisions that you make in your life
And what steers your direction is hard to understand
The spirit of a boy, or the wisdom of a man.

He drives a diesel out of Dallas, hauling cars out to the coast
It ain't the dream that he remembers just a few short years ago
But tonight at a truckstop, whle drinking a cup
The waitress grins and winks at him and says my shift's almost up
With so much riding on the choice at hand
The spirit of a boy, or the wisdom of a man

With so much riding on the choice at hand
The spirit of a boy, or the wisdom of a man

I love you all...

Charlie