Date: Mon, 10 Jun 2002 18:50:11 -0700 (PDT)
From: No Label <zero78245@yahoo.com>
Subject: Donny Chapter 8

This is a work of fiction and does not reflect actual events.  It is also
possible that this kind of story is against the law where you live so read
at your own risk.  And you must be eighteen to read this story, so prior to
reading please forward proof of age to the nearest FBI agent peeking at
your files (or at your butt).

Please send comments, critisisms, ideas to the author at
zero78245@yahoo.com.  Sorry about the crack about flamers before, but since
I didn't receive any then it must have been true.

My apologies to my editor.  Turns out he has sensitive ears.  So instead
rub his belly. (But no lower no matter how much he begs.)


DONNY
Chapter 8



    What?  He is picking me up.  Guess he wants to go to the bedroom where
it will be more comfortable.  No, it's in the living room.  He's sitting
down on the couch, and sitting me in his lap.  Shit, what did I do wrong
this time?  I don't even feel him hard.  What's the matter with me?  Why
can't I get him excited?

    "Don't hit me.  I won't do it again, I promise.  I just want to love
you."

    Tom didn't say anything, just crushed me to his chest.  God, why can't
I do anything right?  I just want Tom to love me. Why is he holding me so
tight?  Does he think I am going to run away?  Him holding me feels good,
but it's not love.  Maybe that is what I ought to do, run.  Why doesn't he
just stick it in me and get it over with?  I hate him!  He doesn't want to
love me so why should I love him?  Why won't he love me?  Run away, yes,
got to now.  Tom doesn't want me.  Find someone who will love me.  I just
want to love him.  His grip is looser now.  Now is my chance.

    "Donny..."

    I jumped up out of his arms and stepped away.  I wanted to hurt him.

    "I hate you.  Why don't you want to love me?  I'm nothing to you.  Why
do you hate me?"  I was screaming so loud spit was hitting his face.  As I
turned away I could see his face just crumple.  Good.

    I ran to my room and threw myself on the bed.  I needed to hit and the
pillow didn't fight back.

    Why?  Why?  Why?  I hate you, I hate you, I hate you.  I hate me.  I
hate this puny little body.  I hate my little dick. I hate my life.  Kill.
Kill me.  Stop this now.  Kill me.  That's it.  Nobody loves me.  Yeah,
he'll miss me when I'm dead. But how?  I know.  I know where the knives are
in the kitchen.  Get a big one.  Make like a samurai.  Get a knife.  That
will work, nice and bloody.  Can't hurt any worse than my Dad.  Go.  Go.

    I flashed by Tom in the hallway as I ran to the kitchen.

    Over there, that drawer.  Got the drawer open.  There's a big one.
Shit, he's grabbed me again!  Ouch!  He stuck in the leg!  Fight!  Gotta
get away.  Damn, he's strong.  What's he saying?  I can't tell what he's
saying.  Things are slowing down.  Is he saying he's sorry?  I don't care
wha....

    I hear voices.  Why can't I open my eyes?  They feel so heavy.  There's
Tom.  Hmmm, he sounds good.  The other, I know that voice, but who?  I
don't know, too tired.  My eyes won't open.  The voice sound funny, like
they are talking real slow.

    Mmm, these sheets feel so nice and soft.  It's so nice and warm here,
think I'll just stay here.  Mmmm.

    Man, what a shitty dream!  Ah, time to get up though.  Hey, wait a
minute.  How come it's dark?  Shit, what is going on?  And I can't move my
arms.

    "Tom!  Tom!  Help!"

    My door flew open and the sudden light blinded me.  All I could see was
someone coming to the bed.

    "Please don't hurt me!"

    "Donny, it's me.  Tom.  I won't hurt you.  It's okay, now son.  Don't
worry, nobody's going to hurt you.  Just relax."

    He wrapped his arms around me and hugged me to him.  He just held me
and rocked back and forth.

    "My arms.  They won't move."

    "They are tied down, son.  We did that so you wouldn't hurt yourself
while you slept.  Here, see.  I am untying them now.  It's okay, everything
will be just fine now.  Just relax.  It's okay."

    He kept rocking me back and forth.  And patting my back.  Suddenly
another voice was in the room.  Doctor Bob.

    "Is he okay?"

    "Yeah, he'll be fime.  Won't you, baby.  You'll be just fine."

    "Okay.  I will need to examine him, but not right now.  He should go
back to sleep pretty soon."

    Sleep?  I don't need any sleep.  But I could stay like this for the
rest of my life.  It is so good in Tom's arms.  Mmmm. Well, maybe a little
sleepy.

...

    After Donny fell back asleep, I laid his head on the pillow and kissed
his forehead.  "Sweet dreams, little one.  Remember that I will protect you
and keep you safe."  Then Bob and I walked back out to the kitchen.  I
looked at the drawer hanging there, almost jerked completely out of the
cabinet.  The steel of the knife blades glittering from the overhead light.

    Bob walked over and worked the drawer back in as I sank into a chair
and put my head in my hands.

    "Are you okay?  Do you want something?  I can keep it light, just
enough to relax you."

    "Nah.  I need to be awake in case he needs something during the night."

    "He will probably be out until morning.  The drug won't wear off until
then."

    "Yeah.  Oh, thanks for leaving that stuff.  I never thought I would
need it though."

    "Yeah, well, I knew something like this might happen.  Buddy and I were
not completely honest with you about the extent of the abuse and I am sorry
about that.  But we wanted to make sure that you would take him.  And he
needs you now more than ever."

    "I don't know if I can cope, Bob.  Do you know that he thinks love is
some guy shoving his dick up his ass and hitting him?  How can anyone do
that to that beautiful boy?  Why did they fuck him up so bad?"

    "Tom, you know there are bad people in this world.  But we can help
Donny.  You can help him.  And he needs you.  Needs you to give him love,
real love.  It will just take time."

    "I don't know, Bob.  It just seems so overwhelming.  I'm not sure if I
can do it."

    "Yes, you can Tom.  You can do it.  I can see how much you care for him
already.  Just be patient and keep loving him.  He'll come around.  And if
you want I can call a friend in San Antonio, a psychologist, who can help."

    "Yeah, that would probably be a good idea.  For both of us."

    We sat and talked most of the night.  Me saying I'm not sure, that I
don't know what ot do.  Bob kept saying over and over that all I had to do
was show him love, and lots of it.  At some point we moved to the living
room, guess those kitchen chairs were just to hard for more than a hour or
so.  We ended up on the couch, both of us, with Bob's arm around my
shoulder and my head on his chest.  But we were so emotionally exhausted
that nothing else happened.

    I woke up with the sun shining in my eyes.  My head was on Bob's lap
and his arms still around me.  His head was back on the back of the couch
and his mouth open, but not snoring, just breathing softly.

    Shit, was is this day going to bring?  Better get some coffe on.  Bob
should wake soon.  And Donny, he has been out since yesterday morning.  He
will be starving when he wakes up this morning.


TBC...