Date: Thu, 1 May 2014 01:49:43 +0000
From: B W <conniti@hotmail.com>
Subject: Evolution of a fag

Evolution of a fag

I am not sure when it began. Possibly back in the summer of '65 or '66. All
I know is that while other boys were playing football and war games,
whenever I could I would be behind a shed or a hedge with another boy with
my pants down. And there was no shortage of takers to show off their bum
and cock. Part of it would often include weeing or pooing in front of each
other. I had a blonde friend, Rob, a year younger than me who I spent many
hours with naked up trees, in sheds or drains. It was fun. I must have been
10 or 11 when I first figured out to put my erect penis, or stiffy as we
called them then, into his asshole. There was no cum at this point, but
there was plenty of that to come.

Somewhere around puberty all of this stopped as the self-conscious teenage
years began. I pretended to be straight - I even believed it because I had
no concept of how it all worked. I think I was about 14 when I first had an
encounter with a man in a public toilet. The odd thing is that no-one told
me that this is where to find sex with men - I just knew. Despite my
occasional forays to these gay beats I still had girlfriends and continued
on, unaware that fracture lines were opening in my psyche.

I was 19 when I moved in with my girlfriend. When we had sex to stay erect
I would think of cocks, balls, wide open male asses, older men playing with
my ass, men urinating in my mouth, cum dripping from my asshole and on and
on and on. Meanwhile my collection of gay porn, which I hid under the spare
tyre in my car and here and there around the house grew and grew and
grew. I found a good place to find gay sex was in adult book shops in the
suburbs. Just hang around the gay section and either the man behind the
counter would suggest I look at some books out the back or some guy would
sidle up to me and we'd go off in his car. I was masturbating maybe 15
times per day over gay porn and having sex with my girlfriend three time
per week while thinking about men.

One day I got home and my girlfriend sat me down on the couch and pulled
out a pile of gay porn she found in the back shed and two butt plugs and
assorted other toys. She was very nice about it, but it was a deal breaker
and there was no going back. We parted soon after and I moved to Sydney
because I found coming out in my own hometown too confronting.

Coming out to the people I knew was not easy, but thing I feared bout it
most is that it may take the excitement and the taboo out of the sex - that
it may become mundane and every-day. I wanted it to be raw and dirty and
depraved. But if it was depravity I wanted, depravity is what I got. I
changed of course. I began to sound a bit faggy and mince around a bit. I
kept my balls shaved and my pubes trimmed in the shape of a heart and I
wore a cock ring most of the time.

In Sydney there was no shortage of daddies, leather men, sons, femmes and
other homos of all kinds. I have always been `versatile' but I went through
a very `bottom' phase at this time where my aim was to be barebacked by as
many men as possible in a weekend. I hardly ate and was high on speed most
of the time and would head out on a Friday and visit every toilet block,
sex shop, sauna and cruise lounge and try and get my rectum filled up with
cum. I held it in as much as I could and love to let a little out onto my
fingers and taste it. I was so addled with drugs it was hard to keep a
tally but I think that one glorious long weekend in April 1978, 47 men came
in my ass. I had every kind of cock - big, small, filthy, poxy, bent and so
on, up there. I would eat cum, lick sticky assholes and drink piss in any
squalid place I could find.



And when I got home from my weekends I could usually cum three or four more
times before the rohypnol kicked in and fell asleep for 12 hours. On
awakening the first thing I thought of were bogs cocks and wide open asses
- it never stopped - in fact through my 20s and 30s it got more and more
intense.

In all the years I have never really had a relationship - just men on the
go all over Sydney. I always loved to find out what men were into. Some
were asshole obsessed, some loved cock most, some had huge porn collections
some were really deviant. When I was younger I loved to go to an older
man's place and mince around naked in my cock ring, look at his porn and
get him to pass a butt plug in and out of my ass. When I spread my ass I
loved to hear his gasp of pleasure as he saw my hole puckered in front
him. At that point they nearly always dived in with their tongue.

Now I am 58 and it is my turn to have younger guys at my place where they
can fully explore their desires. I try to help with holding their cum, and
expressing their gayness and acting out those fantasies they have had for
so long and when they spread their sexy young asses for me I let out a
little gasp. So it turns full circle of fagness.