Date: Fri, 10 Jun 2005 23:01:33 +0100 (BST)
From: John Venn <johnvenn1698@yahoo.co.uk>
Subject: Gareth's Story - Part 1 of 2

Disclaimer:

This story may contain scenes of a sexual nature
between boys,  teenagers and/or grown men. If this
form of fiction is not to your taste, is illegal where
you live, or offends your culture then read no further
and leave now.

The story is purely imaginary and bears no resemblance
to any living person or persons as far as I know, much
as you or I might wish!

The Story is also copyright and may not be posted to
any other site without the author's permission.

Comments are always welcome at
johnvenn1698@yahoo.co.uk
*****************************************************


GARETH'S STORY ^^ Part One

 by

Alexander


I've been told by my social worker that I must try and
write down as many of the things that
happened to me before I was taken into care that I can
remember. I think the only reason she
wants me to do it is so that she can try and change
the way I think and behave. And no one is
going to do that ^^ I am perfectly happy the way I am
(most of the time anyway) and I don't see
any reason to change.  I know I am different to most
boys of my age (15 if you're interested) ^^ I
don't like sports very much, especially football and
Rugby but I like to play computer games and,
oh yes, going to the swimming pool, but not because of
the swimming!

Anyway, seeing as I have been grounded for a couple of
days and have nothing better to do, I
might just as well write something down ^^ at least it
will kill the time. I have made my mind up not to
'invent' anything or even leave anything much out.
After all, I don't suppose anyone will ever read what
I have to say, and even if they do, they either won't
believe it or won't care very much: no one ever does.

I was taken into care about two years ago, when I was
thirteen, but I suppose things really started
about a year before that.  My mother and father were
always fighting and arguing, but it was on
this particular night that things really began to go
wrong, dad came in from the pub even drunker
than usual and began hitting me and mum for no reason.
He did this a lot, but this night it was
worse than usual and he wouldn't stop and really hurt
me and mum.

The following day we left the house whilst dad was at
work and went to stay with a friend of hers
called Mick.  He was really a friend of my aunts I
think: anyway he was about 30 years old I
suppose and lived by himself across the other side of
town. I'd met him a few times before and
quite liked him, although he seemed a bit odd in some
ways ^^ he was always looking at me in a
funny way and smiling.  I think that he was a bit
pissed off at first when mum asked him if we
could stay and said that he didn't really have the
room, but she managed to persuade him to let us
stay just for a few days whilst we looked for
somewhere else. It was only a two bedroom house,
and Mick said that mum could use the spare room and I
could sleep on the sofa in the living
room.  I didn't mind this at first, but it wasn't long
before I got a bit fed up with it ^^ I was always
the last one to get to sleep, and also had to be the
first one up in the morning.  The only good
thing was that during the night I could get up
whenever I wanted and raid the 'fridge for
something to eat or drink ^^ and that seemed to be
every hour on the hour!

It was on one of these explorations for food that it
first happened. I had woken up about two in
the morning and been into the kitchen to make a cheese
sandwich. I'd gone back to the sofa and
was watching the TV with the sound turned right down
when the door suddenly opened and Mick came in. At
first I thought he'd be really pissed off with me, but
instead he just said something like 'now I know where
all the food's going', and smiled that creepy grin at
me. Instead of getting angry and telling me off, he
came and sat next to me on the sofa.  This made me
feel a bit uncomfortable at first as I was only
wearing a pair of dad's old boxer shorts, which were
much
too big, and showed more of me than I was comfortable
with. And he was only in his pyjama
trousers. It didn't seem to worry him very much
though, and he even turned the sound up on the
TV so he could hear it better. After a bit I relaxed
and curled up on the sofa next to him, enjoying
the warmth of the room, eating my sandwich, watching
television and pleased that someone was
with me. It wasn't a particularly interesting
programme, but I was happy enough to have someone
watching it with me for once who wasn't drunk or about
to beat me up. Mick must have been
happy too as he put his arm over my shoulder, pulled
me gently to him and made himself more
comfortable.

Suddenly I felt Mick's hand on my thigh. At first I
thought he had done it by accident, but when I
felt his fingers gripping me slightly, I knew it
wasn't. I didn't know what to do next. At first it
frightened me, but as I got used to his hand being
there, I found that I didn't really mind  ^^ I think
I might have even snuggled up a bit closer to him. I
was still staring at the television, but not
really watching it, as I was trying to work out what
was happening. My thoughts were confirmed
when his hand moved higher up my thigh a little bit
and stopped. I turned and looked at him,
without saying anything. In return he smiled and asked
if everything was all right.

To this day I don't know why I didn't stop him there
and then, as I knew I should. Perhaps my life
would have been very different if I had, but then
again I don't think that it would have made any
real difference, just delayed the inevitable I
suppose. Anyway, having worked out what he was
trying to do, I was more than a little nervous, not to
say frightened. I was also oddly excited by
the attention I was getting.  Looking back on it now,
and knowing what I do, I realised that I was
actually turned on by it and didn't really want him to
stop ^^ I was even interested in finding out
what he would do next.

In reply to his question, and not trusting myself to
speak, I simply nodded and took a bite of my
sandwich. This was just the signal he wanted. He
actually took his hand and moved it right into
my crotch and pressed it into my groin, not actually
touching my prick, but only a tantalising
centimetre or so away from it.  Not daring to look
down, I was acutely conscious that I had an
erection. I'd had them before of course, especially at
night, and was always happy with the lovely
feeling it gave me, but this was different. I still
had the sensation of intense pleasure I always got,
but this time it seemed even nicer somehow. Not daring
to move in case he took his hand away, I
sneaked a look out of the corner of my eye at his
groin and was delighted to see that Mick also
had a hard on ^^ and what a size it was! I could just
see a bit of his cock through the hole in his
trousers, and it looked enormous compared with mine. I
suppose that when really hard my cock
was about ten centimetres long, but his must have been
twice that.

Mick must have noticed what I was doing as he gave my
leg a squeeze and asked again if I was
OK.

Once again, I simply nodded, and not wanting him to
stop, even encouraged him by snuggling up
to him even more.  This had the effect of moving my
prick closer to the hand in my groin, the end of it
actually touching his fingertips.
The sensation I had as I touched him for the first
time was electric! I had never, in all my life, felt
anything like it.  I had of course played with myself
a lot, and always liked it, but this was
stupendous. It was if my mind had completely emptied
itself of everything I had ever known, to be replaced
by an overwhelming feeling of delight.  So much by
surprise did it take me that I
involuntarily took a deep breath and let out a low
moan.

"Nice?" I heard Mick say from a million miles away.

"Yeah," I heard myself reply, instantly and without a
second's thought.

"Good," was the only response.

We stayed as we were for a few delicious minutes, both
full of our own thoughts, totally wrapped
up in our own emotions.

Not wanting to loose the magical feeling I had from
the area of my groin, I gently began to move
my hips so that the tip of my cock rubbed up and down
the backs of Mick's hand.  Mick,
obviously aware of this, gently moved his hand, folded
it round the shaft of my cock and held it
softly.

"That's nice!" he whispered hoarsely, just loud enough
for me to hear.

Quite suddenly, and without any warning he stood up.

"No!" he said, "We shouldn't be doing this. I'm going
back to bed," at the same time turning to
face me.

As he did this, his cock, standing to full attention,
sprang from inside his pyjama trousers and
pointed directly at me. By now of course I was well
and truly aroused and throwing all caution to
the wind, not caring what happened next, had no
hesitation whatsoever in using the situation to
my advantage and I took a firm hold of his erection.
Amazingly I found that my fingers could
reach right round it, but only just.

"Come on," I heard my disembodied voice say
pleadingly, "It's my turn now."

"Oh shit!" Mick said, as much to himself as to me,
"Are you sure?" he continued, looking directly at me,
" I don't think we should, but ........." His voice
trailed off.

By now I was well beyond caring. For the first time as
far as I could remember I was with
someone who liked me, and actually wanted to be with
me ^^ and more importantly from my selfish point of
view, someone I wanted desperately to be with.

"Come on, " I whined, "Just for a bit. I won't tell
anyone."

Wordlessly Mick sat down again and replacing his arm
round my shoulders gave me a cuddle.
"Well, all right then, but only for a minute or two.
It's very late and we should both be in bed
asleep."

Having got over this awkward moment and for once
getting my own way, I didn't know what the
hell to do next.

"Can I feel it?" I queried unnecessarily as I already
had a firm grip of his cock.

"Yes, if you want," he answered, "but don't hold so
tight ^^ it hurts!"

Releasing my grip slightly, I gently began to feel the
length of his shaft, and after summoning up
enough courage, even felt around his balls."

Mick undid the button of his pyjamas and slid them
down to his knees. As a bit of a balancing act
I suppose, I returned the favour by removing my own
shorts completely, staring for a few seconds
at my own raging boner as I did so, mentally comparing
it with his. For the first time I was aware
that it was harder than I had ever known it before, so
hard in fact that it was painful.

"Beautiful" was all Mick could manage to say staring
at it, "Beautiful."

For the next timeless minutes we feverishly explored
each other, our hands roaming freely,
seemingly unable to get enough of each other.  Just as
I was beginning to be relaxed enough to
actually be aware of what we were doing, I was
conscious of a wet feeling at the end of my cock.

"Bollocks!" I thought, "I'm pissing myself now!" and
glanced down at it.  To my amazement it
wasn't piss, but a clear, water like liquid that I saw
glistening at the tip of my prick.

My puzzlement and concern must have shown as Mick put
both his hands on my shoulders and
looked at me.

"Can you come yet?" he asked, nervously.

"Yeah. At least sometimes," I added, slightly
embarrassed, not really knowing what he was
talking about.  I had of course, spoken about this
sort of thing with the other boys at school and
we had the usual schoolboy jokes and so on about it,
but I had never actually "come" despite my
boasts as to how many times a day I could do it, and
my many secret attempts, all of which so far
had been in vain.

"Oh," was his monosyllabic reply, and he dropped his
hands, somehow guessing the reality.

For a few agonised seconds, I thought that I had
screwed things and I'd annoyed or upset him
somehow. Thinking quickly, and in an attempt to rescue
the situation, I asked if he would like to
try now, hoping against hope that he would, and even
more fervently that I would for the first
time be able to manage it.

"Only if you really want to," he said, more seriously
than I had ever heard him speak before,
"Only if you really, really, want to."

"Yes. Please," I gasped out hurriedly, and without
thinking what I was saying, continued, "I've
never come before. At least, I don't think so!"
grinning at him in an attempt to lighten the
atmosphere.

"OK then," he smiled gently back at me, "Come here and
I'll show you what to do."

Putting an arm round my waist, he sat me on his knee
and softly placed two or three fingers round my dick.
Very gently he began to work them up and down the
shaft of my cock.  I had done this to myself lots of
times before, but recently I had found that after a
bit I got a strange aching feeling from somewhere in
my groin and had stopped in case I was damaging
myself.

"Come on, you do the same to me," he urged.

Willingly I did as I was asked, and managing to get my
whole hand on his cock, copied his
motions.

"Christ, Gareth!" I heard him gasp, "Don't stop.
That's wonderful!"

If Mick felt even half as good as I did, then he must
have been in heaven.  The sensation was
indescribable ^^ I would never have believed that one
person could make another feel as I did then; it was
absolutely marvellous and I didn't ever want it to
stop.

But it was just about to ^^ there it was again. That
dull, aching feeling in my crutch and this time it
seemed even worse than ever before. I was just about
to tell Mick to stop when the pain
disappeared quite suddenly, only to be replaced by
another, even more peculiar feeling. Just as I
was coming to terms with it and without any conscious
effort or thought on my part, my whole
body seemed to shake and tremble and thrust itself
violently forwards  ^^ and from the end of my
cock shot out some thick, gooey white stuff!

"Spunk!"

It was the first time I had ever seen it, but somehow
intuitively knew what it was, and boy was I
happy!

I didn't get time to give it much thought however, as
almost simultaneously Mick shot his stuff all over me!
I suppose the excitement of seeing me come had made
him do the same ^^ but much,
much more of it  ^^ I thought he would never stop. My
little effort, brilliant though I thought it
might be, was nothing compared to his, but I couldn't
care less. I don't think I even noticed at the
time. At last, I was able to make spunk! I was
delirious with delight and excitement and felt as if I
was about to faint, but instead in my passion I threw
my arms around Mick's neck and gave him
an enormous kiss on the cheeks.

Suddenly aware of what I had just done, I sat back,
very, very embarrassed.

"Sssssorry!" I mumbled, staring down at my by now
rapidly shrinking cock.

"Hey, don't worry!" Mick said, giving me a cuddle, "I
can remember the first time I really came,
and I know how you feel. Great isn't it?" And without
waiting for an answer, he leaned forwards
and gently kissed me on the lips.

Letting go of me, he leaned back on the sofa and
sighed.

"That was good. Did you enjoy it?" he asked after a
minute or so, staring at the ceiling.

"Yeah. It was brilliant!" I replied, giving him
another squeeze round his neck and peck on the
cheek, "Can we do it again?"

Mick looked down at me and grinned.

"Hey, hold on a bit!  It's about time we were both in
bed, look at the time."

Turning to look at the clock I was amazed to see that
it was after three in the morning.

Reluctantly I pulled my shorts back on again as Mick
did the same with his pyjamas.

I watched sadly as Mick left the room, giving me a
wide smile as he closed the door behind him.
Determined to try and re-create the new-found pleasure
I had just discovered, I spent the
remainder of the night playing with myself and going
over and over the events of the night.

Chapter Two

"Hey you. Dickhead. Stop playing with yourself and
come and get your tea!" said a distant voice,
accompanied by a loud bang on the door.

It took me a full minute to come back to realise where
I was. No longer was I sat in the
comfortable, warm lounge with Mick, but in my little
cell like room in the Children's Home ^^
alone; feeling very pissed off and let down somehow. I
also had an erection you wouldn't believe!
On the table in front of me was a messy pile of
hand-written pages ^^ and apart from the first few
words I couldn't actually remember having written any
of them. Glancing through them I realised
that I had got so engrossed in what I was doing that I
wasn't even conscious of putting anything
on paper ^^ or of the passing time.

Gathering what remained of my wits, I hurriedly put
the pages in order and hid them in my
underwear draw. The last thing I wanted was for anyone
to pick them up and read through them.
Taking a glance round the room to make sure that no
evidence was in sight, I left, carefully
locking the door behind me for once.

On the way downstairs I smiled inwardly to myself,
realising that there was more to this 'writing
game' than I thought. I had actually enjoyed doing it,
and for the first time in ages had got so
involved in what I was doing that I'd lost all track
of time. I'd always been better at English than
other subjects at school, but even then wasn't
especially good at it. I'd never written anything as
long as the thing I'd just done, or with as much
interest. I'd impressed even myself.

I was still thinking about the story whilst having my
tea, and trying to work out what I would say
next, when I was aware of being dug in the ribs and
spoken to.

"Hey, Gareth. What you been grounded for now?"

Turning to face my tormentor, I saw Martin grinning at
me. Martin was the only 'friend' I had in
the house; we were exactly the same age and went to
the same school, but not in the same class,
as he was a lot cleverer than me. The reason we were
'almost friends' was that he didn't let the fact I was
'different' bother him too much. The other kids in the
house picked on me whenever they could, calling me
names and bullying me in other ways when they thought
they wouldn't get
caught. I'd learned by bitter experience that there
was no point in complaining about it to the staff
as they always ignored me. I suppose they thought the
bullying would make me 'normal' or at least ensure I
didn't try to mess about with the other kids. Martin
was special. He rarely chose to talk to me, or ask me
to join in any activities with him, but at least he
seemed to accept me for what he supposed I was and it
didn't bother him apparently ^^ and he never took the
piss out of me.

"Bunking off school," I answered giving him a broad
grin, "The bastards took an afternoon
register and I got caught."

"Idiot!" was his only reply, said in a compassionate
sort of way, but I could tell he wasn't really
interested.

"What'cha been doing then?" he continued.

I was just about to tell him when I thought better of
it. Even though we were sort of friends, I
didn't feel like telling him what until now had been
one of my deepest and best kept secrets. Even I was a
bit scared of what I had put on paper, so what the
hell he would think I couldn't even begin to guess.

"Sleeping."

"Bollocks. Wanking more like!" he whispered, now
smiling broadly. If any of the other kids in the house
had said this, and they would have done, it would have
had a nasty, vicious edge to it and said loud enough
to cause amusement to all that could hear. But from
Martin, on the contrary, it sounded almost nice.

Whatever possessed me I don't know: perhaps it was the
leftover effect of my literary efforts that
made me say what I did next. I would never in a
million years have said it otherwise.
"So what if I was. Jealous?"

For an instant, Martin looked as if he'd been smacked
in the mouth or was about to hit me, but the moment
passed and he simply said, "Maybe, " in an odd sort of
way and looked straight at me
without a trace of a smile.

This threw me. My mind was already in turmoil, and now
it was thrown into an even greater
mess.  Did I hear him right? Did he mean what I think
he meant? Could he possibly ........?

'Shit!' I thought to myself. I'm imagining things. He
couldn't possibly mean anything by what he
said. It's just me and my stupid one-track mind, and
with that returned, still confused, to my meal.

Just as soon as I could, I left the table and went
back to my room, anxious to re^^read what I had
written and think about what happened next.

Lying down on my bed, I picked up the sheaves of paper
and read. It was amazing. I could still
hardly remember writing any of it, and at first it was
just like reading a story written about me by
somebody else, but it wasn't very long before once
again I was lost once more in my own world,
remembering with intense pleasure the events
described.

Having reached the end, I closed my eyes and let my
mind wander.

Me and Mick didn't 'mess about' again for quite
sometime. Although I wished desperately that
once again he would come visiting in the early hours,
he never did. I remembered spending many
nights trying my best to stay awake as long as I
could, just in case.  I would never forgive myself
if he wanted some more messing about and I was asleep.
But he never did. Nevertheless I
practised a lot ^^ thinking of him every time! I also
achieved what I had been boasting of for the
best part of a year now ^^ I could jerk off at least
four times a day, a fact which I tested frequently.

One good thing was that after this he never actually
asked mum and me to move out. I don't know whether it
was because of me, or because things just drifted
along, dropping into quite a
comfortable routine. Anyway, whatever the reason, I
was quite content now to sleep on the sofa,
ever hoping that he would return.

The sound of boys racing down the corridor outside my
room made me open my eyes, rudely
destroying my daydream. Reluctantly I rolled off my
bed and sat at my desk again.

Deciding that I should try and get some more of my
thoughts down on paper, I grabbed the blank
notepad and pen, stuck the pen in my mouth and sucked
it; my normal habit when I was trying to
think.

Chapter Three

'It must have been two weeks or so later,' I
eventually wrote, 'When I decided that as Mick hadn't
been to see me again, I must do something about it.'

Sometime around midnight, mum and Mick decided at last
that it was time for bed. For some
reason, I was feeling particularly randy that night
and had been thinking hard of a way I could
persuade Mick to come back downstairs later so we
could mess about together. I had tried all
evening to give some sort of hidden signal to let him
know what I wanted, without making mum
think I was either mad or sickening for something.
Rubbing my hand in my crutch didn't work.
Neither did provocatively opening or closing my legs.
I tried catching his eye and winking at him, but he
didn't seem to even know I was there. In desperation,
I even 'accidentally' kicked him on the shin, at the
same time making sure that he saw me slide my zip
halfway down my flies. No effect.

Finally in the inspiration born of desperation, as
they were leaving the room I said, apparently to
no one in particular, "I think I might have a cheese
sandwich later."

That worked. Both stopped and turned round to look at
me. mum simply said something like
"Don't you dare. You've had enough to eat today!" But
I hardly heard her; I was too intent on
staring at Mick, who looked as if a bomb had hit him.

 "At last," I thought, "He's got the message!"

Without another word, they both left the room and
closed the door behind them.

Slowly I began to get undressed and discovered, not to
my surprise, that I had a terrific hard on.
Smiling inwardly to myself, I decided to give Mick a
surprise if he did come and visit me, and for
once took my boxers off before I wrapped the sheet
around me and settled down on my
makeshift bed.

This was almost a fatal mistake. The feel of the
cotton rubbing against my erection was almost
too much to bear. It didn't help much either when I
put my hand down to protect it. My hand,
with a mind of its own seemingly, assumed its more
usual wanking position and I had the greatest of
difficulty in stopping it from doing what it so badly
wanted to do.  The only thing which made me stop was
the thought that I ought to save it, or I wouldn't be
able to come again with Mick later.  With a strength
of will I didn't know I possessed, I forced myself to
let go, and grabbing the remote control, turned the TV
on to a late night film.

I kept the sound down as low as I could. Not only so
that it couldn't be heard upstairs, but also so
that I could hear the sound if anyone came downstairs.

Looking round at the clock, I saw with dismay that it
was only about 12.30. If Mick was coming
at all, it wouldn't be for at least an hour and so I
tried to concentrate on the film ^^ without much
success. My brain was far too filled with a mixture of
excitement, danger, no little sense of fear ^^
and sex.  I tried to make myself think that he wasn't
going to come, and that I was being stupid
even thinking that he might. This worked ^^ but only
for a millisecond. I just couldn't get him out
of my mind.  I fixed my eyes on the clock as the
minute hand crept oh so very slowly round. I
even noticed for the first time that you could
actually see the minute hand move if you stared at it
hard enough.

At 1 o'clock, the film ended, to be replaced by a
boring news bulletin.

"Bollocks!" I thought, "He's not fucking coming," and
almost cried with frustration and
disappointment.

It's true what someone told me years later, that once
a man's mind turns towards sex, his brains
move to his balls and he loses all common sense. I was
now in that position and about to prove
the point.

"If he won't come to me, then I'll go to him," I
decided, not giving a second thought to the fact
that perhaps he didn't want me.

Not even bothering to put any clothes on, I hurriedly
wrapped the sheet round me and turning the
TV off, crept out the door and very gingerly climbed
the stairs, making sure that I kept as close to
the wall as I could so that they didn't creak.

I could feel my heart pounding as I very slowly edged
my way down the corridor.  Mum's
bedroom light was out I noticed gratefully as I slid
past. But Mick's wasn't. Under the door I
could just make out a thin yellow line of light which
showed that at least he wasn't asleep yet. As
carefully as I could I grasped the door handle and
tried it.  It hadn't occurred to me that it might
be locked, and thankfully it wasn't: pressing the
handle down as far as it would go, I pushed the
door open. Remarkably silently, it gave way and I
hurriedly slipped in to Mick's room and closed
it behind me.

Mick was lying on the top of his bed, staring at the
ceiling, naked apart from his dressing gown,
which was wide open. And he was holding his rigid
prick in his hand, stroking it slowly

He must have heard the door close because he suddenly
whipped round and saw me.

"For fuck's sake! What the hell.........!" he almost
shouted, "Jesus Christ!"

He was angry. More than that, he was steaming,
boiling, mad. I had a sudden panic-stricken fear
that just like my dad the next thing he would do was
belt me.  In shock, I let the sheet go, leaving
me as naked as the day I was born, and dropping to the
floor I curled up as small as I could,
waiting for the rain of blows that was certain to
come.  For the first time I realised the enormity of
what I had done. Me, a stupid, randy twelve-year old
boy, had crept naked, uninvited and
unannounced into the bedroom of a 30^^year old man in
the hope that we could have sex together.
I started to cry, partly in anticipation of the
beating that I was about to get, and partly in sorrow
for myself.  I heard the bed complain as he slid off
it and covered my head with my arms, waiting
for the slapping to start. But it never did. Anxiously
I slowly turned my head to find him. Instead
of looming over me, he was standing by his bed staring
down at me, with one hand covering his
mouth and the other on his waist. His dressing gown, I
noticed without interest, was still open,
showing his now limp cock.

My tears must have had some effect on him as after
what seemed like an age he walked over and
dragged me to my feet.  Walking me over to his bed he
made me sit on the edge of it. Pointedly
moving away, he sat on the end of the bed without
looking at me.

There was an awkward silence as we were both too full
of our own thoughts to dare speak.
Eventually I broke the silence.

"Sorry, Mick. I didn't mean anything. Honest. I only
wanted to.... to..... talk to you." It was a lie
obviously, but one which I vaguely hoped would get me
out of trouble.

"You scared the hell out of me, you ...... you little
...."  He was lost for words ^^ at least ones he
could use to me.

This made me feel even worse, and I started to cry
again.

"For Christ's sake shut up! Your mother will hear
you," he said as loud as he dare, "Come here."

Nervously I did as I was told and moved next to him,
all thoughts of sex long since gone from my
mind.

He slid a comforting arm round my waist and carefully
wiped the tears from my cheek with his
hand.

"You should never have come here, Gareth. I knew what
you were trying to tell me tonight, but
deliberately ignored it.  What we did the before was
wrong and should never have happened. I
know I started it, and at the time it was what I
wanted, but I should never have done it. And it
mustn't ever happen again."

I heard what he said, and absorbed his words. I didn't
understand, and struggled to say so.

"But Mick I didn't mind," I faltered, "I liked it and
I've been wanting to do it again ever since. I
know it's not right really, but I won't tell anybody.
I really like you and want to be with you."

He didn't answer for ages. Eventually, and with
obvious effort, he turned my face towards him.

"Listen," he whispered, "I want to tell you something,
and after I've finished you must go back
downstairs and go to bed. Promise?"

Thinking that anything was better than nothing, I
nodded silent agreement, I wiped the remainder
of the tears away with the back of my hand and stared
at the floor waiting for him to start.

"Well," he began slowly, "I don't know how to put
this, or even whether you will understand or
not, but there's something I think you ought to know."
Curiously I looked into his face, and was surprised to
see that his eyes were closed and it seemed
as if he was trying hard not to cry.

"No one knows this except a very few close friends of
mine. And you must promise never, ever,
to repeat what I'm going to tell you." "Promise?" he
added, opening his eyes and looked straight
at me.

I was just about to agree when I was stunned into
silence by the sound of Mum's bedroom door
opening.  With a speed which amazed me, Mick shot
across the room and turned off the light.  By the dim
glow of the street lamp outside I could just see him
putting his finger against his lips as a sign for me
to keep quiet.

For a split second I thought that mum was going
downstairs to check on me, but was relieved to
hear the bathroom door open and close. Almost without
breathing, we waited until she left the
bathroom, and we heaved joint sighs of relief when we
heard her close her door and switch the
light off.

Whilst all this was going on, I had got under the
duvet and stretched out on the bed with some
sort of idea at the back of my mind that if for some
reason she opened Mick's door, I wouldn't be
seen.

When he came back and sat on the bed again, he started
to talk once more but I could hardly hear
him.

"I can't hear you," I whispered and grabbing his wrist
pulled him down so that we faced each
other, about a foot apart.

"That's better. Now what were you saying?"

In the dim light I could just see his face, and
watched his lips as he spoke to me.

I don't know whether it was the effect of the darkened
room or what, but Mick treated me almost
as if I was a grown-up, which no one had ever done
before.  I didn't understand all the words he
used, but I knew what he was trying to say ^^ or I
thought I did. Some words like 'queer' and
'Homo' I had heard before of course, and had a vague
idea of what they meant, but this was the
first time that I had heard them used without someone
telling a joke, or being rude.

Mick seemed happy to keep talking, and I was more than
happy to listen to him. Once or twice,
when I thought that he was going to stop, I remembered
my promise to go back to my own bed
once he'd finished and I made every effort to ask
questions and keep him talking. This was a new
experience for me and I was keen for it to carry on
for as long as possible. The more I listened,
the more comfortable I got, actually taking more
interest our conversation than I thought I ever
could.  Turning over onto my side, I rested my head on
my crooked arm and looked at him.
Much to my surprise I saw tears shining on his cheeks.
 In my ignorance, I asked him why he was
crying.
"I'm not really," he lied, "It's just that I've never
told anyone as much as I've told you. I know you
don't understand any of it, but somehow it makes me
feel better."

"Of course I understand," I lied back, "I know that
you like men more than women, and there's
nothing wrong with that. I think that I like boys more
than girls, just like you do."

I hadn't a clue at the time as to what I was really
saying, but somehow knew that they were the
words Mick wanted to hear, and if I could say anything
to make my friend feel better then I
would. I also felt a strange sense of relief once I'd
said them, almost as if I had opened a door to a
secret room in my mind.

I must have been right because Mick turned over to
face me fully for the first time and smiled.
Not the usual creepy sort I was used to, but a caring,
tender sort of smile.  Slowly he moved
towards me and kissed my cheek.  My immediate response
was to reach over and return the
favour, but this time much more firmly, and on his
lips.

Mick's response at first was to pull away, but I
wouldn't let him.

"Can I stay the night with you?" I pleaded, "Promise I
won't do anything. Honest."

"No. That's stupid and you know it. What would happen
if your mother found out? She'd kill us
both."

Reluctantly I agreed with him, but was still
determined to have at least a little 'mess about' if I
could.

Slowly, taking great care that he didn't see, I slid
my hand towards his prick and grabbed hold of
it.  I heard him gasp with shock as he felt me, but he
didn't say or do anything to stop me.

"Five minutes? And then I'll go," I whined in my best
pleading voice.

I knew I'd won as I felt his prick hardening under my
hand, just like mine was.

"Five minutes. And I mean five minutes," he whispered,
"You know you're a bastard don't you?"
he added laughing softly.

"Yep. But I don't care now," I laughed back, " 'Cos
you're one too!"

This was the signal for a very silent and unbelievably
exciting play fight, each of us trying their
best to grab a feel of the others prick and balls.

Somehow managing to squirm on top of Mick I tried to
hold him down by his arms, but he was
much too strong for me of course. In a determined
effort not to be beaten, I hoped to torment him
by leaning over and kissing him on the lips again.
This time I managed accidentally to get my
tongue inside his mouth and was taken completely by
surprise when our tongues came in contact
and the immense feeling of pleasure I got from it. I
was also aware that my cock was getting a
superb massage from his stomach area, so much so that
I thought I was about to come.

"I think I'm coming," I whispered in his ear before
kissing him again. Quite consciously I worked
myself up and down his body even harder, just like I
imagined you would do if you were fucking a girl.

"Just a minute," he managed to gasp out, "Wait a sec."

Wondering what he was planning to do, I paused.
Somewhere down below I could feel him take
hold of his enormous cock and slip it between my legs.

"Close your legs tight," he told me, "And do what you
were just doing again."

I did as I was told and started to fuck him again.
This time however I could feel his prick hard up
against my groin, and it was magic!  Almost instantly,
uncontrollably, and without any warning at all I came,
shooting my spunk between us. Some of it, I noticed
with interest actually reached as far as Mick's chin.
It was the most wonderful come I had yet had and said
so to Mick, just as he came, spraying his come all
over my back and legs.

Too exhausted to move, I rested my head on his
shoulder and laid there recovering for seeming
ages. Eventually I began to feel a bit cold, so I
rolled off him and lay on my back, breathing
deeply.

"That was fucking all right!" I whispered, still full
of excitement.

"Yeah. Brilliant," Mick agreed, "But it's time you
were in your own bed now. Don't forget to have a
shower in the morning will you? Otherwise you'll smell
of spunk all day," he laughed.

Leaning over I gave him a quick kiss on the cheek and
told him that I loved him.

In reply, my new-found best friend squeezed my cock
and balls gently and told me to "piss off!"

Happily I did so, and was soon fast asleep in my own
bed, dreaming of Mick and things to come.

Chapter Four

Putting my pen down, I took a glance at my watch and
was amazed to see it was almost midnight.
And not unsurprisingly, I had yet another raging hard
on!
"Oh, well," I thought, "There's only one answer to
that," and hurriedly undoing my trousers I was
walking across to the door to lock it when there was a
quick, quiet knock on it, rapidly followed
by it opening and Martin bursting in.

"Quick, let me in before anyone sees," he said as he
closed the door behind him.

I was so surprised, not to say shocked, that I forgot
my pants were round my ankles by now and
my hugely erect cock was pointing directly at my
intruder.

"Christ!" Martin stammered, "Sorry.  I didn't
know....." and his acute embarrassment was
confirmed by the colour of his face.  For a moment or
two he just stood there, unsure how to
extricate him from the situation.

Reaching down to pull my trousers back up, I told him
not to be so daft. If I wasn't embarrassed,
why should he be?

Obviously relieved, he relaxed visibly.

"Sit down over here if you want," I said, pointing at
the chair I had just left.

Curious as to why he had come bursting into my room so
late I sat on the bed and asked him.

"Well, " he started, "I was in my bedroom about half
an hour ago, and I got to thinking about
what you'd said at tea time."

"Well?" I queried, desperately trying to remember what
I'd said, "What did I say?"

I must have sounded angry or something because he
stood up and made to leave, but by now I
was far too interested in why he was here to let him
get away that easily.

"Hey, don't panic!" I grinned, "I'm not going to
attack you or anything. I just can't remember what
I said, that's all."

He sat down again and looked at me.

"Can I ask you something?" he said, somewhat nervously
I thought.

"Yeah, if you like."

"Is it true what the other kids say about you? About
why you're here and everything?"

I knew exactly what the others said about me; after
all I'd heard it often enough, both here and in
other places I've lived. And I'd reached the stage
where I couldn't really give a damn any more,
but for some perverse reason I wanted to hear Martin
say it to my face.

"Why do you want to know?" I asked as kindly as I
could, my brain trying to work out his reason.

"Well ........." he started, and stopped, as he didn't
know what to say next.

Suddenly a bright light lit up in my mind. Not even
daring to think I might be right, I decided to
help him out.
"I'm here because I got caught jerking off with a man
back home." I said, as emotionless as I
could manage.

"Is that what you'd heard?" I continued, " 'Cos if it
is, they're right. And what's more, I don't really
care who knows anymore."

I was getting extremely angry for some reason and was
about to really lose my temper when I saw the look on
Martin's face.

" 'S'all right with me," Martin said with a struggle,
"I don't care about it at all. What you do is
your problem, not mine. I was just curious that's
all."

He was lying. I had recognised the look on his face,
and almost certainly knew what he was
thinking and felt very sorry for him.

"I'm queer," I shocked Martin by saying, "There's
nothing I can do about it, even if I wanted to,
which I don't.  It's not my fault. If it's anybody's,
it's yours and everybody else's for not allowing
me to be who I am."

" I thought you were," Martin continued, "That's why I
just had to ask you. Do you mind if I ask
you another question? Say no if you want."

By now my curiosity as well as my prick was well and
truly aroused. "OK. I don't mind."

"What's it like?  Being with another man I mean. Is it
better than being with a girl?"

"Dunno," I replied, "I've never been with a girl.
Never wanted to really, so I can't tell you. Have
you?  Been with a girl I mean?"

"No," he replied, "And I've never been with a man
either. But I've thought about it."

I was right.

"Have you ever," and here I was lost for words for a
moment, " Ever had some fun with another
boy?"

"Yes. Once," he answered, "In the last home I was in."

The somewhat tense atmosphere of a few moments ago had
gone and neither of us wanted to
leave the conversation where it was ^^ it was becoming
very interesting now and we were both
keen to carry on with it.

"Listen, " I said conspiratorially, "Do you wanna stay
and talk for a bit?" vaguely hoping that we
might be able to do just a bit more than talk.

"Yeah, can we?"

"I'm up for it, but we'd better make sure we're not
caught."

It was strictly against the rules to be in each
other's rooms after 'lights out', and the punishment
for being caught was bad enough from the boss, but it
would be even worse if the other boys
found out, as you can imagine, and I knew to my cost.

"OK then, go back to your room and lock it so they'll
think you're asleep if anybody checks. Then
come back here and I'll let you in. "Oh," I added
almost as an afterthought, "It might be a good
idea if you got into your pyjamas just in case."  I
couldn't think whatever the 'just in case' might
mean, but if he did, it would be another link in the
chain of my thoughts.

Without another word Martin opened the door, and
having checked the coast was clear ran
quietly to his room.

Whilst he was away, I rapidly threw off what remained
of my own clothes and deciding as usual
to wear nothing under my dressing gown, quickly put it
on and tied up the belt loosely.

It was only a very short time afterwards that my door
opened again to admit Martin, who, I was
pleased to see, had changed into his pyjamas.

"Lock the door," I whispered, nodding in the direction
of the key, "And turn off the light."

As he did this, I switched on both the bedside light
and the table lamp, which between them gave
a superbly exciting sort of atmosphere.

"Come on, sit over here," I indicated, patting the
side of the bed next to me.

Doing as he was asked, Martin took the two or three
steps across the room and sat on the bed:
not as close as I would have liked, but nevertheless
he chose to sit with me rather than on the
chair across the other side of the room. "Another
clue," I thought.

There was a somewhat strained silence for a minute or
two until I decided that I would break it.

"Did you like it when you were with that boy in your
last place?  What happened?"

"Yeah, it was OK I suppose," Martin said thoughtfully,
"We were the only kids in the house and
we shared the same room. I'd been there for ages but
he'd only been there for a couple of weeks.
He was a bit older than me, not much though, 'bout a
year I guess. We were both in our beds
reading when he started talking sexy like, about
tossing off and that sort of thing. I wasn't very
interested at first, but he wouldn't stop talking
about it and kept going on and on. Anyway he
suddenly asked if I minded if he had a wank, and
before I could say anything he threw off his
bedcovers and lay there with this bloody great hard
on! "

I listened intently as Martin carried on with his
story, about how the other boy had eventually got
into Martin's bed with him and they'd tossed each
other off.

"It never happened again, though," Martin finished, "I
think he was too embarrassed or
something, but we never even mentioned it again It's a
pity though because I think that I would
have liked it."

I sat thoughtfully for a minute or two, wondering what
to say when Martin said "What was it like
doing it with a man?  What happened?"

My mind flashed back to the first time that I had sex
with a man ^^ sort of. I didn't feel like telling
him about Mick and so invented a story which I hoped
would satisfy him. I told him that I'd
bunked off school one day and was wandering around
town when I wanted a crap and went to the
public toilets in the market place. When I'd got my
trousers off and sat on the toilet, I saw a big
hole in the wall. I was just about to cover it with
some toilet paper when I noticed that there was
someone in the other toilet ^^ and I couldn't help but
see that he was playing with himself.
Fascinated and curious I leaned down and put my eye to
the hole.  It wasn't long of course before
he saw me, and he waved his dick around so that I
could get a really good look at it. After a bit he
bent down so that he could get a look at mine. I
suppose it was only then he realised how old I
was and I could hear him moaning and groaning as he
stared at my rigid boner as I played with it
for him. The next thing was that he put his finger
through the hole and indicated that I should put
my prick through it. A bit frightened at first, it
took a few minutes for me to decide to give it a try
and see what happened. Slowly I pushed it through the
hole and it was soon in his firm but gentle
grip. At first he was just wanking me off, but then he
started to suck it.  I found that it was a good
feeling and I quickly decided that I liked it. It was
the first time that I'd had my cock sucked and
was amazed to find out how brilliant it was: I also
wondered why Mick hadn't done this to me and I made a
mental note to ask him the next time I saw him.  What
surprised me even more was that he actually swallowed
my spunk when I came, sucking me really hard to make
sure he got every last drop.

I lay back on the bed at this point and closed my
eyes, remembering with pleasure how much I'd
enjoyed the experience.

Martin, to give him credit, was a lot cleverer than I
thought because he then said, without any sort of
criticism,

"Couldn't have been the first time you'd done it."

Turning this over in my mind, I carried on, "After
that I used to go into those toilets whenever I
could, and I managed to get tossed off every time. And
that's why I'm here," I continued, " 'Cos
one day I got caught by a plain clothes copper."

I took a deep breath, and letting it out noisily, made
my mind up to tell him a little more, "I used
to go there lots of times and once or twice when I
left the toilet one of the men waiting to use it
would make some nasty comment or other. I suppose the
Police knew what went on in there and I must have just
been unlucky to get caught." The memory of the day I
was taken to the Police
Station was still painfully fresh and I pushed the
rest of the story to the back of my mind.

Still laid back on the bed, I put my arms under my
head and trying to think of something
pleasanter, thought of Mick and all the good times
we'd had ^^ and how much I missed him.
Remembering what it was like, and some of the things
we had got up to was giving me a hard on,
and forgetting that Martin was there for a second,
moved one hand into my dressing gown and
took hold of my hardening prick.

Martin coughed quietly, realising that I'd forgotten
about him.

Opening my eyes and looking at him, a bit sort of
flustered, I mumbled some sort of apology and
pulled my knees up to my chest.  Martin was still
looking in the direction of my groin. I'm not sure
whether he could actually see anything or not, but I
was certainly feeling sexier than hell now, and
decided to push things along a bit.

Opening my legs a bit, I pulled my dressing gown
apart, just enough to make sure that he could
get a good look if he wanted. Which he did ^^ he
couldn't take his eyes off it. Glancing down at
him, I could see he'd got a hard on, but I couldn't
make out much as he must have been wearing
pants under his pyjamas.

"You wearing pants?"

"Yeah."

"Oh. I never wear them in bed," I told him, hoping
that he would take the hint.

"Oh."

Silence. I think we both knew what was coming next,
but neither wanted to be the first to say it.

"Shall I take 'em off?" he whispered.

"If you like."

Standing up, Martin unbuttoned his trousers and
hooking his fingers inside the waistband of his
pants, pushed them both to the floor.

His cock stood up, proud and erect, with Martin
looking down at it.

"Can I feel it?" I asked, getting off the bed and
standing in front of him.

He simply nodded in reply.

It was a beautiful, beautiful prick. Pink, smooth and
uncircumcised; perhaps a bit shorter than
mine, but certainly a lot thicker. I felt Martin
shudder as I took hold of it and slowly began to
masturbate him.

"Do you want to come?" I murmured in his ear, " 'Cos I
do."

"Yeah."

Taking his hand, I put it on my own by now rigid
boner. It had been absolutely ages since anyone
had tossed me off, or even held my prick and I'd
almost forgotten how wonderful it felt having
someone else touching it.

"Christ. That's nice," I said almost unintentionally.

"Yeah," Martin agreed.

It was only a matter of a couple of minutes before we
both came, almost together, spraying each
other with what seemed like gallons of our warm,
sticky come. I hadn't come like that for weeks ^^
and it felt bloody marvellous. I hadn't felt so good
for a long, long time, and I told Martin so as I
fell back on the bed, pulling him down with me.

"Me too," he agreed, "You won't tell anyone will you?"
He sounded worried.

" 'Course not. What do you think I am ^^ stupid or
something?" I assured him.

"Sorry. 'Course not."

I don't know about anybody else but I always feel
completely knackered after I've come. It only
lasts for a bit, but I feel really tired. I think
Martin must have felt the same, because we both lay
there for about ten minutes without saying a word.

What possessed me I've no idea, but I turned to face
Martin and said, "Hey, listen. I've been
writing about me, and some of the things I've done. Do
you wanna read it and tell me what you
think?"

As soon as I'd said this, I regretted it. Only a few
hours before I'd promised myself that no one
would ever read what I'd written, and here I was,
offering it to almost the first person I'd spoken
too since then. Shit! I could have bitten my tongue
off, but it was too late now.

Martin, not unexpectedly said he would, but would I
mind if he took it and read it in bed. Still
feeling pissed off with myself for allowing me to get
into this situation, I dragged myself off the
bed and across to the table.  Collecting the pages
together, I handed them to Martin who by now
was standing by the door with his pyjamas on and his
pants in his hand.

"Give 'em back to me in the morning. And the next time
you come visiting, don't wear your
pants!" I added, grinning.
Martin, who must have been feeling better now, smiled
back and said he wouldn't.

Locking the door behind him, I threw my dressing gown
on the floor with the rest of my clothes
and lay on top of the still warm bed and closed my
eyes, happily thinking of the possibilities that
my new-found friendship would open up.

The following day, being Sunday, everyone was allowed
to lay in as for long as they wanted.
Despite waking early (for me!), I'd laid on the bed
for ages playing idly with my usual morning
boner and listening to the radio. It must have been
nearly ten o'clock before I got up and saw the
pieces of paper on the floor. Martin must have pushed
them under the door sometime earlier as I
hadn't heard anyone knocking. Bollocks! I would have
liked to have seen him again, if only to find out if
last night was just a one off, or (as I hoped) he was
interested in messing about again.

Walking back to the bed, I tossed the papers on the
table, and noticed that the top sheet wasn't
one of mine.

"Awesome!" It read, "When are you going to finish it?"
It was signed 'M', and there was a single,
small "x" under it!

Not bothering even to get dressed, I sat at the table,
bollock naked, and quickly skimmed through
again what I'd written, interested in trying to work
out which bits "M" had found so awesome.
Giving up, I began to plan what I would say next.

Chapter Five

Mick and me 'messed about' quite a lot after the night
I'd gone to his room; not every night, but at
least four or five times a week. Looking back on it
now, I realise that it was me who made all the
first moves, never Mick. I didn't ever once think of
me, or Mick, as being 'queer'.  I was simply
very content to have Mick as an adult friend who
didn't beat me up, or get drunk. He was the
first, and only, man who seemed to like me for who I
was, and I would have done anything to
keep him as a friend. What we were doing I didn't
think of as wrong in any way, it was just
something that we enjoyed doing together. I can
remember one night especially when I'd tiptoed
to his room as usual, but found he was asleep when I
got there. I was much too aroused and
excited to think of going back to my own bed and
instead climbed in very gingerly beside him.  It
was a wonderful, dangerous and exciting thing for me
to do. I was really happy in the knowledge
that I could get into this man's bed, cuddle up to him
and even play with his cock and balls
without him getting angry with me ^^ more than that, I
knew he even liked me doing it. It was a
blissful feeling and I curled up tight against him,
resting one hand on his soft prick, and gently
tossed myself off, trying not to wake him.  I even
wrote "Gareth" with my spunk on his chest ^^ I
was going to add, " loves Mick", but didn't have
enough come.  Idly thinking to myself that if I
waited for a bit, I'd be able to come again and finish
the job, I relaxed against the warmth of his
body and waited.

The next thing I knew it was light. Panic-stricken I
sat up and searched for his alarm clock to see
what time it was: seven o'clock! mum would be getting
up any minute now and go downstairs.
Shit!  Hurriedly I slid out of the bed and ran as fast
as I dared on tiptoe back downstairs; dived
onto the cold sofa and wrapped the blanket around me.
mum came in to wake me not more than
five minutes later.

During breakfast, Mick kept giving me odd looks. "Does
he know what I did last night?" I
wondered, slightly worried. In the cold light of day,
it didn't seem so much fun now, and I
regretted being so stupid. "He might even stop us
'messing about' " I thought sadly.  It wasn't until
late that night, when I'd once again crept into his
room that I summoned up the courage to tell him what
I'd done the night before.  To begin with he was a bit
angry, but once he realised that I'd not been
discovered, and how worried I'd been all day, he
wasn't so bad, but he made me promise never to do it
again ^^ which I willingly did. At least he laughed
when I told him that I'd only managed to write
"Gareth" ^^ and he even helped me complete the sentence
a little later on!

It was November, and I'd just had my 13th birthday
when mum came into the house one evening
and said that she'd found a flat for us both. I was
devastated. At the back of my mind I suppose
that I knew we couldn't stay with Mick for ever, but
the shock of being told that we were to move
out that weekend really threw me. I was just about to
beg and plead with her to let us stay when
I realised that perhaps that wouldn't be such a good
idea. After all, I had complained enough
about sleeping on the sofa, and she might just work
out why I wanted so badly to stay with Mick.
For forms sake, I told her how pleased I was, at the
same time telling Mick how grateful I was to
him for letting us stay for so long. If only Mother
could guess how grateful I really was!

On our final night we there, I spent a lot of time
crying into Mick's chest. The last thing I wanted
was to go and live somewhere else, miles away, and
never see him again ^^ and I told him so
several times. I only calmed down when he said that I
could perhaps come and see him once in a
while ^^ not too often as it wouldn't look right, but
at least once in a while, and provided I told
mum where I was, and she allowed me to come.

The next month or so was hell. Not only had we moved
miles away, where I knew nobody, but I
also had to change schools and try to make new
friends. It was sheer, bloody hell.  I'd come to
look on Mick as a sort of substitute dad without
knowing it. I hadn't realised quite how much he
meant to me, not only from the sex side of things, but
as a real friend I could talk to. I'd never had
anyone like that before, and I missed it. I think mum
knew this too and was quite all right when I
asked if I could go and see Mick once in a while.  She
would never let me stay the night of
course, and I never asked, but she did let me stay for
a couple of hours once a week or so. I was
quite happy with this, and even Mick seemed to be more
relaxed now as there was no fear of our
'messing about' sessions being interrupted. The sex
was also much better than it had been before if that
were possible, probably because we were both much more
at ease with each other and also I was becoming much
more aware of what I was.  The best thing I loved was
when we drew the
curtains and walked around the house stark naked, not
caring a damn about it. I found it really
arousing and had a permanent hard on when we were
doing it ^^ and ended up have some brilliant
sexy times everywhere in the house.

Despite my regular visits to see Mick, I found the
times in between weren't easy to cope with and
I would get really pissed off sometimes.  Mick was
lucky, he could go out with his friends and
have some fun whenever he wanted. All I could do was
to think about him and have a wank
somewhere: it helped, but wasn't very much fun. I even
thought about him at school, and had to
go to the toilets for a wank at least once a day, just
to make me feel better.

It was on one of these occasions that I met Alex. Like
me, he was a bit of a loner and didn't talk
to anyone very much and I hadn't taken much notice of
him. That is until I'd picked up from the
other kids that he had a reputation of being a
'queer'. At first I ignored this as every boy who is
not part of a gang, or is somehow different is always
labelled queer or Homo or some other such
name, and I didn't for a second believe it were true.
Even if it were, the last thing I wanted was to
become friends with him and so be given the same
label. I had enough problems without adding
that particular one to them.

Things changed, however, one History lesson. It was
the second lesson of the day, and for some
reason I was first in the room and so could take my
choice of desks. As I preferred to sit at the
back where I was less noticeable, I threw my bag
across the room and made for my favourite
place; the corner furthest from the door.  Gradually
the remainder of the group came in and took
their places, the seat beside me staying empty.  Empty
that is, until Alex came in. Looking round
for a vacant chair, he ignored the two or three others
and placed himself beside me.

"Wotcha!" he said, smiling slightly.

"Hiya!" I replied, and busied myself getting ready for
the lesson.

"Turn to page 50 and read Chapter 6 about Queen
Victoria" we were instructed.

"Good."   I thought, a reading lesson. At least we
won't have to listen to him going on for an
hour.

Turning over the pages of the book I'd started to read
when I got a nudge in the ribs from Alex.

"Forgot my book. Can I share yours?"

Reluctantly I slid it across so that it was midway
between us and started again.

It was difficult for us both to share the same book,
and so to make things a bit easier we moved
our chairs closer together, scraping them on the
floor. This disturbed the teacher and brought to
his attention the fact that Alex hadn't got his book ^^
a cardinal sin in his eyes.

"Whose forgotten his book?" he asked sarcastically,
getting to his feet.

Three hands went up.

"Fifty lines each ^^ I must remember to bring my
History book to class," and with that resumed his
seat.

"Shit!" Alex whispered, pulling a face.

Looking at him I smiled in sympathy.

Turning back to the page, I tried to start reading
again, but was a bit disconcerted to feel Alex's
leg pressing against mine under the desk. Taking a
sideways look at him, I saw that he didn't seem to
realise what he was doing as he was apparently
concentrating on the book. Mentally shrugging it off,
but quite enjoying the sensation if the truth be
known, I carried on.  I tried experimentally to move
my leg away and was only slightly surprised to feel
him follow it.  Looking at him once more, he flashed
me a slight trace of a grin before turning away.

Bollocks!  I was getting a hard on. The combination of
the closeness of his leg, and the reputation
he had were doing their work. It had been a good few
days since I had last seen Mick and I was
feeling more than a bit randy. I had decided during
the first lesson that I would try and get away
for a wank during this lesson ^^ at least the toilets
would be quieter then and I wouldn't be
disturbed. But now that plan was out of the window. I
daren't even stand up, let alone walk out of
the classroom ^^ not with the boner I was getting.

My cock was getting painful and simply had to be
adjusted to give it the room it demanded.
Putting my hand in my pocket, I tried to make myself
more comfortable, desperately trying at the
same time not to let Alex see what I was doing.
Unfortunately it couldn't be managed; the only
way I could do it was to put my hand down my trousers
and move it from the inside.

"Screw it!" I thought, the pain was now so bad that I
didn't care if Alex did see what I was doing,
"I've got to do something about it."

Sliding down in my chair slightly I quickly shoved my
hand inside my trousers, pulled my dick up straight
and took my hand out. The relief was tremendous.
Returning once again to the book, I
leaned over the desk and tried to find my place. I
almost leapt out of my seat when I felt Alex's
hand on my cock, holding my erection! I didn't however
make any move to take it way. Once I'd
got over the shock, I was quite prepared for him to
leave it there ^^ I was in fact quite enjoying it.

Alex, for his part, made no effort to move it either.
Without looking at him, I carefully slid down
the chair a bit so he could get a better feel if he
wanted ^^ which he did.  There was no way could I
continue reading now and so concentrated on the
feeling in my groin instead ^^ and it was
wonderful.  Gradually I slid my hand from the desk and
moved towards Alex's prick. And there it
was! It felt huge. He must have been wearing thinner
trousers than me because I thought I could
feel every vein on his massively hard prick, and
believe me, was it a nice feeling!  We carried on
for some time like this, pretending to read the book
whilst having a splendid grope of each other
under the desk. Alex's touch was so delicate and
erotic that I was in imminent danger of coming in my
trousers. In a desperate measure to avoid this, I
reluctantly moved his hand away to give me time to
cool down a bit. At the same time, I mouthed, "Wait a
bit" to him. He must have got the message as just
nodded slightly at me.  The next move surprised even
me. Instead of putting his hands on the desk as I
expected, he actually undid his zip, took his cock out
and looked
expectantly at me.
Taking as long a look as I dare at his magnificent
tool, I thought "What the hell!" and took mine
out. Slowly and as quietly as we possibly could, to
avoid drawing undue attention to ourselves,
we adjusted our positions so that we could get a
better grip of our respective cocks. It had been
ages since Mick had held it, and up until now he had
been the only one who ever had. Alex's
touch was much gentler than his, and because his hand
was smaller, it was somehow much
different. His technique was also better than Mick's.
Alex was slowly working his fingers up and
down my shaft, but pressing just a bit more firmly
with his thumb and first finger each time he
reached the top. I had the greatest of difficulty in
not crying out with the pleasure each time he did it,
I even drew blood from biting my lip.

Suddenly I erupted without any warning at all, the
spunk shooting up in a vertical jet, headed
straight for the ceiling, curved over and landed on
the open pages of the now forgotten History
book. Such was the shock I even managed to almost
knock the desk over with my legs.
Pretending to have a sudden coughing fit, I just
managed to stop the desk from going completely
over as I apologised to the teacher who, thankfully,
just nodded in my direction. Alex was almost
bursting with suppressed laughter as I resumed my
place.

"Bastard!" I mouthed.

His only reply was to slide down his chair and toss
himself off as I watched, fascinated.  To cap it
all, we spent what little remained of the lesson
smearing our joint pools of spunk all over the desk
top, Alex finally using his pen to scratch on the desk
"Alex and Gareth wanked here," together with the date.

Alex and I wanked each other off quite a lot in the
weeks to come, almost always in the History
lesson as it was one of the few times we were actually
in the same group. I am sure that Alex
looked forward to these lessons almost as much as I
did, but we had to take great care not to
make it too obvious what we were doing.

Much as I was beginning to like Alex, I wasn't yet
prepared to have our friendship public
knowledge. His reputation, justly deserved as I had
found out, was causing him a lot of problems
in school. Apart from the regular and frequent name
calling, he was also the but of quite a lot of
physical bullying. He seemed to cope with most of it
OK, but once in a while it got to him and he
skipped school for a few days. I was sure that I
couldn't cope with life as well as he did, and in
any case why create the problem for myself.  As a
result of my decision, I avoided contact with
him as much as possible during school time, but we did
meet outside school quite a lot. Most days we managed
to 'accidentally' meet each other outside the school
gates and walk part of the way home together. It was
during one of these walks home that thanks to Alex, I
found another outlet for my rapidly growing sexual
appetite.

Part of our route homewards took us through a park, in
the middle of which was a toilet
half hidden in a clump of trees. I knew it was there
of course, but had never actually used it as I
was a bit afraid of its isolation. One day Alex and I
sat talking on one of the park benches for
some reason, I can't remember what we were talking
about now, but I think Alex had deliberately
chosen that particular bench for a reason which was to
become clear just a bit later. The one he
had chosen was directly in front of these toilets and
I couldn't help but notice how busy they
seemed to be, and commented on this.

Alex gave me a strange sort of look and said, "What
are you, daft or something?"

Suddenly, it dawned on me. I must have been
particularly stupid not to guess why it was so
popular. At that time I'd never thought about the
possibilities that public toilets held, after all I
was still fairly new to the game and was quite
satisfied with the fun that Mick, and now Alex, and I
had.

My interest in the goings-on in the toilet increased
and I kept a good lookout for people going in
and out of it.

"You can make a fortune in there," Alex said just loud
enough for me to hear.

"How?" I said stupidly, realising as soon as I said it
what he meant.

"Sorry," I added quickly, and paused. "Have you ever
..........?" I left the question unfinished.

"Yeah. Lots of times. Sometimes you can get as much as
a tenner."

I was interested, and not a little excited by the
prospect and wanted to learn more. "Tell me then.
What do you do?"

"The best thing to do," Alex explained, "Is to hang
about outside for a bit. If a man looks at you
as he walks past and you like him, you can give him a
little nod or smile at him a bit. If he nods or smiles
back then he's interested and you follow him into the
toilet. When you get inside, you just ask him how much
and he'll say five or ten pounds. Tell him OK and
he'll give it to you."

"Christ!" I expleted, "I wouldn't dare!"

"It's OK, honest," Alex replied, "It's ever so easy,
and all they want is a quick wank or to suck
you."

I sat in silence for a minute or two absorbing this
fascinating information.

"Do you wanna give it a try?" he enquired, "I'll show
you if you like."

Intrigued, and now feeling somewhat excited by the
prospect of actually getting some money for
doing something I liked anyway, I agreed.

"Great!" Alex said, "Go and sit on that bench over
there so that we're not seen together, and
watch what I do."

Seeing the bench about 20 or 30 metres away, I quickly
ran over to it and sat watching Alex.   It
wasn't long before a man of about forty walked past
Alex and looked at him. The man walked on
a bit further and turned round to walk back the way
he'd came. When he got to Alex he slowed
down, looked at him again and nodded. Alex looked
straight at him and nodded back.  I watched,
rather nervously I admit as they walked towards the
toilet, about ten metres apart.

Some five minutes later I was relieved to see Alex
leave the building and come towards me.

Wordlessly he showed me a ten pound note.

"What did you do?" I asked with a mixture of shock and
surprise.

"Let him toss me off. But I couldn't do much because
I've come twice today, but he didn't seem to
notice."  "It's easy." he added, "Do you wanna go?"

I wasn't at all sure about this and was more than a
little afraid but I didn't want Alex to see this
and so I said that I would.

"Go on then. Go and sit on the other bench. I'll wait
here for you."

Nervously I got up and walked across to where we had
been sitting just a few minutes before.

I hadn't been there for more than two minutes when a
man of about 25 walked past and smiled at
me. I smiled back and nodded. I didn't think than man
had seen what I did, but nevertheless he
went into the toilet and I followed.  He was standing
at one of the piss holes when I got in and so
I went to another one about two metres away. Getting
my semi^^erect cock out with some
difficulty, I pointed it down the urinal and tried to
piss.  Glancing round at the man, half afraid, I
saw he was looking down at my cock and smiling. He was
holding his limp tool in his hand so that I could get
a good look at it.

"How much?" he mouthed at me.

"Ten pounds," I whispered back.

"OK. Let's go in there," he said quietly, indicating
one of the empty cubicles behind us.

Surprisingly, my fear had vanished as I quickly
followed him in and bolted the door behind us.

With a speed that astonished me, he had my belt undone
and my trousers down before I knew
what was happening. Without a word he dropped to his
knees and took my now rock hard prick
in his mouth and sucked.

It was brilliant! He must have been an expert sucker
because it was an absolutely fantastic feeling. I
don't know what he did, or how he did it, but I could
hardly breath with the indescribable pleasure I felt.
I even put my hands on his head and pushed it down so
I could get as much of my cock in his mouth as I
possibly could.  I didn't even care when I heard
someone go into the next cubicle and close the door ^^
at that moment in time, the whole world could have
ended and I wouldn't have noticed, I was on a
completely different planet.

It was with not a little sadness that I soon came; I
wanted the feeling to go on for ever. And I
came in such amounts that I wouldn't have thought
possible. I couldn't remember making so much before,
and that was after I'd had a wank in the toilets at
school during afternoon break!
Reluctantly the man let my cock go and stood up.  I
could just see a bit of my come glistening on
his lips as he hurriedly took a ten pound note from
his pocket and thrust it into my hand.

"Fucking wonderful!" he whispered as he unbolted the
door and slid out quickly.

Feeling a bit shaken, I re^^bolted the door and sat
down on the basin to collect my thoughts.
Unbelievingly I looked at the note in my hand. Ten
pounds! And it only took two minutes! I felt a
lot better, and more than a bit pleased with myself.

I wasn't even embarrassed when I left the cubicle and
saw a man staring at me from the urinals ^^ I
simply smiled back at him and left the building.

Alex was still sat on the bench watching for me.

"Well?" he asked

"Yeah. Great." I grinned at him, "Look, I got a
tenner."

"Well done!" he laughed. "Come on let's go."

Together we ran as fast as we could to the park gates
where we stopped. This was where we
went our different ways and just as if nothing had
happened we agreed to see each other at school
tomorrow.

For the next week or so Alex and I went to the park
almost every day, and I managed to get
myself a tenner every time. Most of the time the men
just wanted to toss me off, and for me to do
the same to them. Some of them also wanted to suck me,
at first I didn't mind this ^^ I quite liked it in
fact, but I became a bit careful after a while as one
of them bit my cock so hard that it bled. It was
always worth another five anyway.

I also went to the park on the first Saturday I could,
this time without Alex.  When I got there,
the park was full of mums and their kids playing
about. I tried to avoid them to start with, but
some of them were giving me odd looks, and one lady
even told me not to hang about near the
toilets as 'there were some funny men about!'

The best times to go there was just after it got dark.
The place got a lot busier then, and I even
managed to get picked up by some quite good looking
younger men: they were the best as they
always paid more and weren't too rough.  It was from
one of these men that I learned something
else than was new to me.  He was called Deryck and
must have been about twenty years old.  I'd
gone to the park after tea and was just wandering
about, seeing what was happening when I
spotted Deryck coming towards me along the footpath.
As we got nearer to each other, he looked
at me and smiled, but didn't say anything. After we
had passed, I walked on just a bit further and
then turned round to see what he was doing ^^ just as
he was doing the same thing. I thought he
was really good looking and would have loved to have
some 'messing about' with him, but I
thought that he couldn't possibly be gay as he was
much too handsome.  Anyway, I nodded at
him, smiled and went to sit on a nearby bench hoping
he would come across to me.  To my
amazement he did.

Sitting next to me, he asked if I was all right.
Telling him that I was, I added that it was a bit cold
though.

"Do you want a bit of warming up?" he asked, with
obvious meaning.

"Wouldn't mind," I replied.

Telling me to follow him, he surprised me by not
walking to the toilets, but towards a small clump of
trees a little distance away.  Looking warily around,
I was pleased to see that there was no one in sight,
so I ran and caught him up.

"The toilets are too public, it's better over here,"
he explained, "There's a bit of a clearing in the
middle ^^ no one will see us there."

He was right. There was a bit of a space in the middle
of the trees; it had obviously been used
before as there were lots of empty drink cans and food
packets all over the place, probably left
there by kids, I thought. The clearing had one big
advantage over the toilets as far as I could see ^^
we could lay down instead of having to stand up in the
somewhat cramped space in a toilet
cubicle, and this was what Deryck had in mind. Taking
his coat off, he carefully spread it on the
ground and sat on it, asking me to sit with him.

Once we got ourselves comfortable, he asked me what I
liked to do.

"Don't know. Just messing about and sucking I think."

"OK," he answered unfastening his trousers and sliding
them down to his knees.  Copying him, I
soon had my trousers and pants around my ankles. My
cock, already hard sprang out, seemingly
pleased to get some fresh air.

"Beautiful!" he whispered, "That's really nice."

Deryck's cock wasn't much bigger than mine I was
pleased to find out. Some of the men I'd been
with had enormous pricks and I found that because I
couldn't get my hand all the way round it, I
didn't like it as much. Deryck's however was a perfect
size and I could get my whole hand round it quiet
comfortably.  I was still playing with it whilst he
was sucking me off when he suggested that we tried a
"69".  I had never heard of this before, and somewhat
nervously asked him what it was.

He explained it to me, and the idea sounded
fascinating, and so I turned round so that my face
was buried in his groin.  With some difficulty he
managed to get my prick in his mouth, and we
both started to suck.  I had had enough practice by
now to know what to do, and I really liked it,
especially when the cock was small enough for me to
get almost all of it in my mouth.  We were
having a great time, both sucking like mad when I felt
his hands on my bum. At first I thought he
was just holding me, but he soon managed to press his
finger against my bum hole and try to get it inside.
The pain was so great that I stopped sucking and asked
him to stop because it was hurting so much.

"Never had it before?" he asked kindly.

"No, never," I replied.

"That's a pity. You might like it," he answered, "Let
me try again, and this time I'll be careful not
to hurt you."

Slowly he tried to push his finger in my bum, but it
hurt such a lot that I had to make him stop.

Reluctantly he did as I asked and we continued just
sucking each other until we came.

He must have liked what we did because he actually
gave me twenty pounds, which is more than I had ever
been given before.

"Can I see you again?" he asked as we were getting
dressed.

"Yeah. I'm here most nights at about seven," I told
him.

"Good, I'll keep an eye out for you," he said as we
carefully crept out of the trees, "See you
tomorrow."

That night in bed, I was thinking about what Deryck
had tried to do, and pushed an experimental
finger into my bum.  It didn't seem so painful as when
he did it, but then I could stop when it hurt
too much.  Eventually I managed to get almost my
entire finger in and started to wiggle it about
to see what it felt like.  Amazingly, I got an instant
erection and a wonderful arm glow seemed to
spread all through my body. This was too much! I
started to toss myself off with an energy I
hadn't had for a long time, at the same time wriggling
my finger for all I was worth!

When I came, it arrived in fountains ^^ much more
strongly than it usually did, and seemingly much more
of it.  What had I missed, not letting Deryck do what
he wanted!
There and then I made my mind up that however much it
hurt, I would let him do it properly next
time. Then a sudden thought struck me ^^ what if it
wasn't a finger, but a prick?  My by now limp
cock suddenly sprang to life at the mere thought of it
^^ and what a thought it was! Christ!

Unfortunately I never saw Deryck again, despite my
visiting the park as often as I could and
searching desperately for him.  I had decided that
much as I would like someone to try and put
their dick up my bum, the toilet wasn't the place to
try it. Apart from the confined space, I was
sure that I wouldn't be able to stop myself from
making a noise and that wouldn't be a good idea.

Pausing for thought, I put my pen down and looked at
the clock. Almost midday! I had spent
almost two hours writing, and hadn't even got dressed.
Not only that, but I had also been sat with
a boner on for what must have been all that time.
There was only one thing to do about that I
decided, and this time locked the door before I lay on
the bed and had a marvellous wank,
thinking of Deryck and what might have happened.

Chapter Six

I had a quick shower, got dressed and was sat staring
out of the window when I noticed Martin
walking down the path towards the front door.  Making
my mind up to show him the latest bit of
my writing, I carefully folded the papers up and
stuffed them into an envelope, wrapping several
layers of Sellotape round to make sure that it
couldn't accidentally come open.  Going downstairs
to join the others for dinner, I made sure than no one
was around when I quickly put the envelope
into the inside pocket of Martin's coat, making sure
that it was folded back so that no one could
see it.

Luckily I found an empty seat next to him at the table
and was so able to tell him about the letter
in his pocket. When I did so, I was very glad to see
that he seemed pleased to hear this and said
that he was looking forward to reading it.

"I'll try and get it back to you tonight," he said
softly so that no one could hear, "Leave your door
open and I'll try and get there 'bout midnight."

With that he left the room with a gang of the other
kids who had decided to go and have a game
of football in the park. For once I felt a slight
tinge of regret in not liking the game very much as I
would have enjoyed the chance to have a more or less
quiet chat with Martin. Not only that but I might also
have been able to get a rare look at the other boys as
they were getting changed after
the game. Always assuming I hadn't been grounded I
thought wryly. Still, there was always
tonight to look forward to.

I didn't feel like writing again during the remainder
of the day, spending most of it playing
computer games. Even this got boring after a while and
so I even made a gesture at tidying my
room up ^^ amazing what effect boredom can have on you.

During the early evening I watched television but as
the night got on I began to think more and
more about Martin and less and less about the TV
programmes.

Chapter Seven

I sat and waited for Martin to return from his game of
football for ages getting more and more
pissed off with him as time went by. I was rapidly
convincing myself that he must be punishing me in his
own way for what we had done the night before.

It must have been getting towards ten o'clock before
they eventually got back.  The gang, about
four of them, hit the house like a tornado, slamming
the front door and running into the lounge
screaming and shouting. This did absolutely nothing to
improve the mood I was in.

Desperately anxious to have another "talk" with
Martin, I was really angry with him now. It
seemed that he preferred being with his mates playing
football, a game which I know he didn't like all that
much, rather than talk to me. He even seemed to be
ignoring me altogether.

I knew also that there was no point in saying anything
now ^^ I would only loose my temper, say
something I would regret and probably get a beating
into the bargain.

Rather than risk getting the beating from the kids, I
bit my tongue. I threw Martin what was the
worst withering glance I could manage, told them that
I was going to bed and satisfied myself
with  "Cunts!" said under my breath.

Martin, I noticed, seemed completely oblivious of my
presence.

Once in my room I got undressed and deciding to
dispense with a wash or shower, turned on my
TV and got into bed.  I was disinterestedly watching a
film when I remembered that I hadn't
locked the door.

"Bollocks!" I thought and was just about to get up and
lock it, but decided against it, as by now I
was warm and comfortable; and in any case who would
want to come in here.

This of course made my thoughts turn towards Martin
once again.

"Shit!" couldn't I ever get that bastard out of my
mind?

Apparently not, because despite the evil thoughts I
was having about him, my hand had
unwittingly slid down into my groin and was gently
massaging my growing erection, giving lie to
the things I was turning over in my mind.

The film ended about midnight and feeling rather tired
by now, I switched the box off, turned over and tried
to sleep.   Half an hour later I was still trying. I
had just thrown the bedclothes off,
having decided to have a wank in the hope that it
would make me sleep when the door opened
and in slid Martin.

"Hiya!" he whispered, "You OK? Can I come in?" ^^
unnecessarily as by now he was in and the
door had been locked behind him. He was dressed in
only his pyjama trousers ^^ this time without
any pants underneath as I could see his already half
erect cock through the hole.

All my nasty little thoughts about him evaporated
instantly and without trace.  Suddenly we were
the best of friends again, and he didn't even know
we'd fallen out!

Not giving him a direct answer, I slid over on the bed
a little to give him room to sit.

"Almost started without me did you," he grinned, "We
can't have that can we?"

And so saying took hold of my semi^^rigid cock and
started to stimulate it back to life.

"Read your story.  Good isn't it.  Is it all true?
What happened next?  Have you written any
more?" he rushed out in one breath.

Turning over onto my side to face him, I took hold of
Martin's cock and began to emulate his
movements on mine.

"No, not yet. I haven't felt like it. I'll try and do
some tomorrow."

"Shit!" he replied, "Come on then, tell me what
happened instead.

Secretly pleased to hear this, and also delighted to
have my earlier fears dispelled, I was more than
willing to do as I was asked.

Putting an arm round each other, we made ourselves
comfortable before I started.

Chapter Eight

Well, after I'd made my mind up that I wouldn't see
Deryck again, I hung about the toilets quite a
lot after that, and made quite a bit of money as well.

Once again, as I thought about this time of my life I
almost forgot Martin's presence as the
memories came flooding back.

Almost subconsciously I began to talk to Martin:

I'd been going there for about three months when I
noticed that there were often a couple of men
knocking about the area who seemed to take a great
interest in what was going on but never got
involved.  They even hid behind some bushes when they
saw some of the 'regulars' in the area.
My suspicious, and probably overactive imagination,
led me to only one conclusion ^^ it must be
the Police. Reluctantly I decided that I ought not to
visit the park quite so often and so had to find
an alternative outlet for my ever-increasing need for
sexual relief!

Therefore from then onwards for quite some
considerable time I devoted all my attention to Alex
^^ and him to me.  He too had noticed the undue
attention that the park was getting and had not
been there for some days before I had unknowingly
followed his lead.

I don't know whether it was mutual frustration, lack
of alternative partners or what, but Alex and
me had a smashing time for ages.  We even managed to
spend the odd hour or two in one or
other's bed when our parents were out; and even on one
occasion the whole night together when
my mother had unexpectedly gone to visit her sister.
It was the first time I'd been left alone in the
house overnight, and took full advantage of it.

My sex life at that time was fulfilling I suppose; but
after a while I wanted more ^^ something
seemed to be lacking, but I didn't know what. Perhaps
I was getting bored with Alex, or perhaps
it was the thrill and danger of the encounters I'd had
in the park. Anyway, for whatever reason, in
between meetings with Alex. I went in search of
something  ^^ or somebody ^^ else.

I remembered that there was a sports centre across the
other side of town which I'd been to once
or twice before, and not only were there toilets in
the complex of course, but there was also a
public one outside.  Being inexperienced in such
matters, and not knowing where to begin looking for
partners, in some desperation I made up my mind to
give it a try.

The following day instead of going to school as usual
I took the bus out to the complex.  The one
thing I'd forgotten was that being a school day, the
centre was full of kids having swimming
lessons and so on. Damn!

The day had already got the all the hallmarks of being
a disaster ^^ again.

Having experimentally investigated the inside toilets
and quickly finding out as I expected that
there was no future there as the instructors and
teachers kept a fairly close watch on the place, I
ventured outside.

Nobody: there wasn't a person in sight apart from one
kid about my age kicking a ball about in the tennis
courts.  Having nothing else to do and nowhere to go,
I ambled across the lawn and
choosing a spot where I could see both him and the
toilet block, sat on the grass watching them
both from what I considered to be a discrete distance.
 Not that I particularly fancied him, or
anything like that, it was just the fact that he was
the only person in the park apart from me.

I'd been there for half an hour or so when I noticed
that he seemed to spend an awful lot of time
looking in the direction of the toilets. Whenever a
man looked as if he was heading towards them, his game
slowed almost to a standstill as he watched, resuming
only when the object of his
attention walked on past.

I began to think.  All the signs were there; after all
I'd played the same game myself on many
occasions of late. My suspicions were solidly
confirmed when seeing a middle-aged man go in he
quickly kicked his ball into a corner and ran into the
toilets.

Ten minutes later the man left and hurriedly walked
back the way he'd come.  Second later the
boy came out, counting what must have been loose
change in his hands. Stuffing the notes in a
wallet and the coins into his pocket, he left the park
by the nearest gate and headed down the road
towards the shops.

Having nothing better to do, and thinking that I might
be able to learn something from him if only we could
get to talking, I stood up and started to follow him.
Just as I was about to pass the
toilets, I saw a man walking towards me along the
footpath: maybe, just maybe...?

Anyway, I went in and waited just on the off^^chance.
I'd undone my flies and was pretending to
have a piss when he came in, took one glance round the
deserted toilets and stood next to me. As
much out of habit as anything else I turned towards
him and smiled.

Shit! I must be getting desperate ^^ I hadn't even seen
his face until now and here I was
propositioning him!

Thankfully, he wasn't too bad looking, and what's more
to the point was willing. Nodding in the
direction of the nearest cubicle, he walked across and
held the door open for me.

Ten minutes later, I was ten pounds richer, he had
shot his load against the toilet door to mingle
with mine and I was ambling down the road looking for
my erstwhile young friend^^to^^be.

The shopping precinct was busy and there was no chance
of my finding the kid I'd seen in the park and so
decided to invest some of my earnings in a coke and
burger whilst I considered what to do next.

I'd picked them up from the counter and was making my
way upstairs when I spotted my 'friend'
in the corner near the window gazing down the road.

Picking a seat at the next table, I sat facing him to
eat my snack, at the same time watching him
carefully.  It wasn't long before we made eye contact.
Giving me a hard stare, he turned away.

Damn! I didn't like being ignored like this,
especially as we had more in common that he realised
and more than anything now, I wanted to meet him.

"Got any salt?" I asked.

Instead of answering me he simply slid the salt pot
across the table a few inches in my direction.
This meant that I had to get up and fetch it myself,
or...?

Picking up my food, I went across and sat at his
table, making a show of salting my burger ^^
something which I hate incidentally.

"Thanks!" I mumbled.

"OK."

"Didn't I see you in the park just now?" I asked.

"Maybe."
Hmmmm. Great conversationalist I thought.

"Get much?" I asked, as much to shock him into
conversation as anything else, but still leaving
enough room for him to choose to ignore the
implication if he so chose.

It worked.  Staring back at me, eyeing me up and down,
he answered "Fifteen."

Christ! What the hell did he do to get fifteen pounds?

We sat in a sort of nervous silence until we finished
our food, both wanting to talk but neither
knowing what to say.

"Live round here?" I asked in an effort to kick-start
the conversation again.

This time he seemed more willing to talk.

"Yeah. Oakwood House."

Oakwood House I recalled was a children's' home not
very far away. It didn't have a very good
reputation as most of the kids there, all boys, seemed
to be troublemakers of one sort or another.
A few came to my school and apart from the disgusting
language they used, they would steal
almost anything they could lay their hands on. But
this boy seemed different somehow. At least he was
willing to talk ^^ probably.

"How much did you get?" he enquired.

"Ten."

"Jesus! That all! What did you do?"

I felt embarrassed for some reason. That's the most I
ever got, and often it wasn't even that.

"Nothing really. Just jerked each other off. Why? What
did you do?"

"Not here," he whispered across the table, "Come on,
let's go outside.

Gladly following him downstairs, I left my now
inedible burger and joined him outside. We
ambled aimlessly through the precinct chatting away
almost as if we were old friends, gently
feeling our way through an interesting conversation.
I learned that he was about the same age as
me, but quite a bit smaller and looked younger. He was
originally from London, but had lived in
care for almost as long as he could remember. This was
his fourth or fifth home in two years
(something I was to learn later wasn't at all
unusual).  He didn't like school very much and so
didn't go all that often. No one seemed to care about
this particularly; everyone was quite happy
with him just as long as he didn't cause any major
problems.  He was 'on the game' as he put it just for
the money. Steve (that was the name he gave me, but I
had a gut feeling it wasn't the right
one) wasn't gay or anything ^^ he was adamant and quite
firm about that ^^ just in it to get easy cash
for his cigarettes and food. Oh, and the occasional
joint.

Despite the differences in our backgrounds, I found
that I was beginning to like Steve. He had a
sort of worldly-wise approach to life that I envied a
little and he was much more independent than I could
ever be. He was also very much more experienced
sexually than I was I soon learned. At first also I
envied him this, but after he'd told me how he'd got
the fifteen pounds, I wasn't quite so sure.

"He fucked me," he said matter-of-factly without
feeling in response to my question.

In my ignorance, and not giving it a second's thought,
I blurted out, "How?"

It dawned on me just as I was asking the question.

"What? Never been screwed?" Steve replied in surprise.

"No. Never."

I chose not to tell him about the disastrous episode
with Deryck in the bushes ^^ I didn't think that
would count, and in any case I was interested in
hearing what Steve had to say.

"Christ! You still a virgin?"

I could make no answer to this; I felt that he had put
me down somehow and thought of me as a
lesser person than him in some way I didn't
understand.

 I longed to say "No, of course not," but didn't quite
have the courage.

We walked in silence for a few minutes and soon found
ourselves drifting along the towpath by
the canal, idly throwing stones in the water.

"What's it like ^^ being fucked?" I asked, returning to
our earlier conversation and ever keen to
learn of new ways of experiencing sex. The more I
thought about being screwed, the more I
wanted it ^^ even after remembering the pain I went
through the one and only time I tried it.

What he described sounded dirty, painful and
disgusting. Also exhilarating, exciting and fun ^^ and
I couldn't wait to give it a go.

Not in the least surprised, I noticed we both had
boners. I had my hand in my pocket playing with
mine; Steve was satisfied with simply readjusting his
so it lay more comfortably. We both knew
what we were doing, neither of us making a comment.

"Wanna give it a try?" Steve asked out of the blue.

"And he say's he's not gay!" I thought to myself.

Whatever his motives, I was somewhat more than willing
to give it a try.

"Yeah. But where?"

"Follow me." Steve obviously knew the locality better
than I did, and had more than likely been
here before and for much the same reason I guessed.
Pushing a clump of bushes apart, we
scrambled our way through the undergrowth until we
were in a sort of little open space between
the trees and the high wall of a railway bridge.

Divesting ourselves of our trousers and pants, I was
immensely impressed (wasn't I always!) by
his dick.  It was a little thinner than mine, and
completely hairless. But it was longer. In fact it
almost reached up to his bellybutton.  I had a lovely
image of him being able to use two hands to
wank with! Boy, what a turn on!

"Turn round and bend over a bit," he told me.

So doing, I jumped a bit when I felt something cold
and sticky being smeared around my butt.
Turning round to see what was happening, I saw him
wiping the remainder of some Vaseline back into a
small jar.

"It'll help," he said, "Put your hands on your knees
and brace yourself."

Somewhat apprehensively I did as I was asked; feeling
very nervous and yet excited at the same
time.  I had almost forgotten the sensation of Steve's
lubricating my bum with the Vaseline when I was
acutely aware of his prick gently sliding between my
cheeks. I felt my own cock instantly
come to life ^^ it gained an erection quicker than I
had ever know it do before, and it was a good
one, as hard as I had ever known it. Steve grasped my
bum cheeks and held them apart so that he
could see the target. I sensed his cock press against
my bumhole and ease forward gently. Much
against my wishes, and despite all my efforts to stop
it, I felt it tighten up, rejecting his advances.
The harder I tried to relax, the tighter it seemed to
get.

"Relax," Steve said calmly, "Pretend you're having a
shit ^^ it'll be easier."

After a few seconds trying, I felt my arse relax just
a bit: Steve took instant advantage and pushed
himself forward enabling his cock to get just inside
me.

"Christ!" I shouted, "For Christ's sake, take it out!"

Ignoring my pleas, Steve did nothing except stop where
he was.

"Wait just a few secs.," he gasped, "It'll go."

Much to my relief he was right.  The intense pain
slowly disappeared and to my astonishment I
could feel his dick inside me. I let out my breath
slowly and with even more relief.

"Good. That's better," he whispered and began to push
forward again.

This time, probably thanks to the Vaseline and my
determined effort to relax as much as I could,
he managed to get almost all the way inside me.

The feeling was indescribable!  If anyone had tried to
tell me what it felt like, I would never have
believed them. It was so wonderful that I forgot all
the pain I had just endured and concentrated
on the pleasure I was now being given. Slowly and very
gently Steve began to fuck me, easing his cock back
until I could sense the tip of it moving up and down
my inside.  I was ecstatic!

Even Steve, despite his claim to 'not being gay' was
moaning and groaning with pleasure
somewhere behind me.

"Beautiful! Marvellous! Fucking brilliant!" I could
hear him say with each thrust.

Smiling inwardly to myself, I thought that if he is
getting even half the pleasure I am, he must be
delirious.

By now I was so relaxed that I even tried to match his
thrusts and as he pushed into me, tried to
force myself back so he could penetrate even deeper.
I must have been doing something right as I could hear
Steve saying words to that effect from about a million
miles behind me.  Closing my
eyes to enjoy the sensation, I became aware that my
own cock was so hard it was getting painful
and I was relieved when my partner stopped for a rest,
reached round in front of me and started to
toss me off.

There have been very few occasions in my life when I
have enjoyed myself sexually so much and
been so happy.  Even the brilliant times I had with
Mick in the early days were nothing compared
to what I was feeling now and I simply never wanted it
to end. Slowly, I became aware of
Martin's presence.  Yet again I had got so wrapped up
in my own story that I'd completely
forgotten he was there.

"Hey you ^^ wake up!" Martin whispered in my ear, and
to make sure I did, pinched the skin of my
cock between his fingernails.

"Sorry ^^ I was just remembering..."

" 'S'all right. You OK now?"

"Yeah. Think so anyway," I answered.

"Good. Hey listen," Martin whispered, shifting his arm
so he could look me straight in the face,
"Have you ever ^^ ever ..."

He hesitated as if not sure what to say next.

"Have you ever been fucked since?"

My cock gave an involuntary twitch as I heard this;
and Martin felt it under his hand.  Similarly I
felt his prick harden up under my fingers.

Perhaps ... perhaps ...? I thought wistfully.

"Only a couple of times, and that was with Steve ...
Alan," I answered.  "We met about half a
dozen times after that and had sex each time and I got
fucked twice I think.  But he moved away
quite suddenly last year and I haven't seen him since.
 They wouldn't even tell me where he'd gone when I
rang the house."

The conversation died for a few minutes. I was
certainly thinking what it would be like for Martin to
screw me. If he would that is.  I still wasn't sure
about his sexuality: having had so many bad
experiences with other boys, I wasn't sure even now if
he was taking the piss or not and I didn't want him
blabbing to all the others in the house about me
"trying to rape him" or something. I know that we'd
tossed each other off yesterday, but this was
something different and I knew that if it went wrong
then I would be in deep shit with everyone.

"Well? ... " he queried.

"Well what?" I retorted, knowing full well what he
meant but needing him to say it outright

In answer he slid his pyjamas down, threw them on the
floor and lay back looking at his
beautifully erect cock.

"OK then. What do we do?" he asked, shifting his stare
to the ceiling.

Satisfied with this answer, I asked if he wanted to
fuck me, or me to fuck him.

"Me fuck you."

"OK then, just a minute, " and getting up from the bed
searched for the tin of Germolene I used
on myself sometimes.

"Here, wipe some of this round your cock ^^ it'll help
make it go in easier."

As he was doing this, I carefully spread some round
the hole in my bum, even managing to work
my finger inside a little to prepare it for what was
about to come.

In my very limited experience of being screwed, I had
learned at least one thing.  When Deryck
and I had tried it, I had been kneeling on the ground;
when Steve and me did it, I was laying on
my back with my legs on his shoulders, and this seemed
to be easier for us both, and certainly less painful.

Telling Martin to kneel between my legs I hitched mine
up onto his shoulders and arched my back slightly.

"Here. Push it in ^^ but for Christ's sake do it
slowly!"

Martin's face was a picture of concentration as he
carefully worked himself into position. I felt the tip
of his tool press against my hole as he grasped me
around the hips.

"Ready? " he asked, still looking worried.

"Yeah. Go on."

It slid in remarkably easily ^^ the easiest yet.
Perhaps it was because I was getting used to it, or
perhaps it was because I was really hot for it, but
whatever the reason, there was virtually no pain
and Martin was in before I even knew it.

Martin pushed himself as far in as he possibly could;
I felt his balls against my crotch as he rested
for a moment or two.  Then he started. It was
wonderful. He was a natural at this I thought ^^
much better than Steve who tended to be a bit on the
aggressive side sometimes.  Slowly Martin
eased himself in and out, each time managing to hit
'the spot', making my own by now iron hard
cock even hotter.

Being the novice that he was, it was only half a dozen
strokes later that he came ^^ massively. I
even felt him ejaculate inside me as he rammed down
hard into my groin.  I almost came in
sympathy, but managed to stop it by putting my fingers
on the end of my prick ^^ I wanted to try
something else in a minute if Martin was agreeable.

Martin collapsed on top of me, not even having the
strength to withdraw himself from deep inside my arse.

"Fucking Hell!  That was brilliant!" he gasped, "You
OK?"

"Yeah ^^ perfect. That was a bit of alright wasn't it?"

Pulling myself up the bed a little so Martin's cock
slid out, I turned over onto my side pulling him
over with me, and for some unknown reason kissed him
on the forehead.

"You were marvellous," I whispered, "Fucking
marvellous!"

He smiled at me, as pleased with the compliment as
with the fucking he'd just given me.

"Wanna try something else?" I asked.

"Jesus, I'm buggered!" he replied, "I couldn't do a
fucking thing."

"Wait. I'll see what I can do about that," I laughed,
"We have ways....!"

Flipping over on the bed, I buried my face in his
groin and took his now limp cock in my mouth
and caressed it with my tongue.  Amazingly,
considering where it had just been, it didn't have any
other taste than that of sweet young boys spunk.

Within a few moments, it was solidly hard again and I
set to work flicking my tongue all round
the circumcised head.  From somewhere in the distance
I could hear my partner moaning and
groaning with delight. And the language was something
else!

Thankfully, Martin quickly cottoned on to what I was
doing, and took my own boner in his warm, wet mouth.
At least it stopped him talking I thought.

Now it was my turn.  I was just going to tell Martin
that I was about to come, when my body
decided to pre-empt me. I erupted straight down his
throat, not giving him any chance whatsoever to avoid
it.

Coughing and spluttering, he almost bit my cock as he
threw back his head, leaned over the side
of my bed and spat the juices onto the carpet.

"Fucking hell, Gareth!  You could have told me!" he
managed to gasp between coughs.

"Sorry!" I laughed, "But didn't have time!"

Joining in the laughter, he at least took it in good
part and wasn't too annoyed.

This time it was his turn. After laying back on the
bed, breathing deeply, he leaned over and
kissed my softly on the lips.

"Lovely." was his only word.

We lay in each other's arms for ages without speaking,
both perfectly comfortable and at ease
with each other.  It had been absolutely ages since I
had enjoyed anything but solo sex, and I was
more than ready for it ^^ readier even that I realised.
And being Martin's first time (as far as I
knew), he was over the moon.

Glancing at the clock I saw that it was almost two
thirty in the morning and I reluctantly informed
Martin of this, stirring him from his almost asleep
state.

"Bloody hell!  I don't wanna move," he sighed, "Let's
stay here all night."

"Bollocks!" I whispered, smiling, "What happens if
someone goes into your room, or even comes
in here?"
"You're right I suppose," he conceded, "Oh, well..."

Still half asleep he got off the bed, searched for his
long forgotten pyjamas and put them on.

"See you tomorrow?" he grinned.

"Yeah, if you want," I replied. "Repeat performance?"

"You betcha!" Martin whispered as he kissed me gently
on the lips. "Oh, and by the way, don't
you fucking dare write about this in your life story!"
he added as he unlocked the door and headed for his
own room.

Supremely happy and content with life, I lay back and
drifted off to sleep, dreaming of all the
things to come ^^ in more ways than one!


Chapter Ten

Over the next few days I managed to add some more
pages to my 'diary'. Despite my initial
reluctance to do as I had been asked, I found that I
was actually enjoying the exercise. Not only
did it bring back to life some of the happier times
I'd had, but it also gave me a semi^^permanent
erection! I would sometimes even find myself drifting
off into a dream world at school,
recollecting events and working out how I could put
them into my story. This habit I'd developed
got me into more trouble at school, but by now most of
the staff had written me off as a waster,
and as long as I didn't cause them any bother they
were content enough to leave me alone for the
most part.

For various reasons, Martin wasn't able to pay me any
nocturnal visits for a few days and so I had
to content myself by dividing my time between writing
and wanking ^^ and roughly in equal parts!

It must have been about Thursday when Martin and I
found ourselves alone in the house for the
first time that week, and able to talk fairly freely
for the first time in ages.

"Written any more?" he asked, "Can I read it?"

Surprisingly I found that I was secretly pleased that
Martin was interested enough to want to read
some more of my efforts and was more that happy to
retrieve my latest efforts from their hiding
place.

"Take 'em upstairs and read 'em," I whispered, "Don't
want anyone else to know about them. Give them back to
me later."

Jesus! I found that I had got yet another erection,
just by thinking about Martin reading some of
the things that I'd written about myself.  And as
usual I needed to relieve myself in the traditional
manner once again.  Hurriedly I went into the
bathroom, and after carefully locking the door,
dropped my pants and trousers to the floor and sat on
the toilet, leaning back against the wall and
thinking about what Martin was now reading. Idly I
played with my erection as I reminisced.

Chapter Eleven

Having lost touch with Alan, and missing any sort of
excitement in my life, I began to search for
other places to explore.  We lived in a fairly small
town at the time, and one thing which pissed
me off in this direction was the lack of places to go
and try to find some 'excitement'.

For about the tenth time I was wandering fairly
aimlessly about the place, desperately trying to
think of somewhere to go when I felt that I wanted a
piss, and for once needed to find a toilet and
use it for the purpose for which it was intended!
It's amazing how in times of desperation, one's
mind seems to change gear and actually produce some
useful thoughts.

"The railway station!" The thought hit me like a
thunderbolt, now that the need to find a place to
go was getting urgent, "Why the hell didn't I think of
that before!"

Luckily, it was only a hundred yards or so away and so
soon found myself in the enormous
entrance hall.  I had only been in the station a few
times before and so wasn't quite sure where the
toilets were.  In a somewhat desperate state by now, I
asked the man collecting tickets where they
were.

"Platform 1," he replied, without taking his eyes from
the newspaper he was reading.

Gratefully I ran down the stairs and through the
tunnel which ran underneath the railway lines.
Dashing up the steps on the other side, I ran into the
toilet, unfastening my zip as I entered.  With
more than a bit of relief, I watched as the pressured
stream of my piss steamed its way into the
urinal.  I sighed with pleasure as the pressure on my
bladder dropped and stared down at the eddy
of urine disappearing down the hole.

"You needed that, by the sound of it!" I heard a voice
say.

In my hurry to relieve myself, for once I hadn't even
bothered to look around the room to see if
anyone else was in there.  Glancing round to my left I
saw a man of about 40 standing at the
urinal, not, I noticed, having a piss. He was just
standing there, holding his limp cock in his hand.
Automatically I looked down at it before I remembered
where I was and in some embarrassment
looked away and stared at the wall in front of me.
I'd finished my piss by now and was now
thinking a little clearer.

"Perhaps...?"  I carefully slid my eyes towards the
man and looked at him more closely now. He
was obviously well-off as he was wearing a suit and
tie, and I could even smell his aftershave
from where I was stood ^^ and he was quite good looking
as well.  Once again I looked at his
cock. It had visibly hardened, and although by no
means fully erect, it was well on the way. And
so was mine. The instant I saw his prick, I felt the
usually stirring down below, and involuntarily
took a step forward in an attempt to hide it.

"That's a nice one," he whispered, taking a step
sideways at the same time, "Can I have a look at
it?"

Not daring to look at him, I continued staring at my
rapidly forming erection and took a step
closer to him.  My heart was racing as I heard him
whistle softly to himself.

"Beautiful. Beautiful!" he whispered.  "Can I feel
it?"

Not believing my luck, I nodded at him and without
bothering to fasten my trousers went into a
vacant cubicle, leaving the door open behind me.
Quickly the stranger followed me in and
secured the door behind him.  Without waiting for
anything else, he gently took hold of my cock
and felt it gently.

His touch was magical.  It had been ages since I had
had any 'fun' and I'd missed it.  He had a
wonderfully soft and caressing sort of touch and my
cock responded magnificently to it.
Delicately I took hold of his cock and returned the
favour. His cock was by now just as rock hard
as mine, and, I was pleased to note, wasn't all that
much bigger than mine.  Feeling the need to say
something, I said that his was nice as well.  Sounded
a bit lame, I know, but that's what I said.

"Done this sort of thing before?" he asked as he
started to toss me off.

Having been asked this question more times than I care
to remember, I answered as usual, "No.
Never."

I could feel his cock stir under my hand as he heard
what he obviously wanted to hear.

"Marvellous!" he moaned.

We messed about like this for a good five minutes
before we both came together.  I know that he
had enjoyed himself, but what amazed me was that so
had I ^^ more than I usually did in these
circumstances.

Slowly and carefully we dressed ourselves, making as
little noise as possible.  He had put his hand in his
inside pocket as was about to give me a ten pound note
when he stopped as an idea struck him.

"Do you want to come back to my place?" he whispered,
his nervousness making his voice
tremble, "I've got a car outside."

For a split second I thought about it.

"Yeah. OK, if you want." I said quietly.

The man, not believing his luck, quickly returned the
note to his pocket and told me to wait a
couple of minutes before meeting him in the station
car park.

"It's a black Jaguar," were his final words as he left
the cubicle.

And so it was. A new one. Christ! He must be loaded I
thought as I climbed in the front and
fastened my seat belt.  The smell of his aftershave
combined with the smell of the new leather
was strangely erotic and that, together with the
thoughts of what I was doing gave me another
erection. This time, however, I made no attempt to
hide it from my new conquest.

Within a few minutes we had left most of the town
behind and were driving along a street of very
large and expensive houses, one of which he smoothly
turned in to. As he did so, the garage door
opened automatically and he slid the car into it,
drawing to a gentle stop.

"Come on, this way." he smiled at me, "We'll go in the
back way."  Leaving the garage by the
back door, we went into a fantastic back garden,
complete with swimming pool and sauna.  My
face must have shown my surprise at the sight as he
suddenly said, "Ever had a sauna?"

"No, never," I replied, still getting over the shock
of such obvious luxury.

"Come on then, let's go."

Warily, I looked around the garden to see if we could
be overlooked by any of the neighbours, but
fortunately his enormous garden was surrounded by a
high hedge and tall trees ^^ there was no
chance of anyone overlooking the pool or garden.

"Oh, by the way, my name's Phil." my new friend smiled
at me, "And don't worry, we can't be
seen by anyone. I've taken great care of that as I
like to swim nude in the summer time."

"I'm Gareth. Hiya!", I returned, smiling at him, and
rather stupidly extended my hand for him to
shake.

"Hello, Gareth," he replied, flashing that beautiful
smile at me. " Come on, in here."

We stepped into a medium sized wooden shed sort of
building, inside of which were three or four wooden
bunk sort of benches. In the middle of the room was a
big round thing full of smooth, black rocks.  Phil
explained how the thing worked and added that it
wouldn't take long to warm up.

Phil turned to a sort of control panel thing on the
wall, played a few controls and within a couple
of minutes the small room was getting hotter and
filling with steam.

"Come on, we might as well go and get undressed. It'll
get most uncomfortable if we don't!"

I didn't completely understand what he meant, but like
a lamb, followed him out of the sauna and
through the French windows into the house.  Still
tagging along behind, we climbed the stairs and
entered his bedroom.  Without a word he turned his
back on me and started to get undressed.
Still a little embarrassed at the situation I had
found myself in, I very slowly started to take off my
shirt.  Apart from anything else, the thought suddenly
struck me that I had never actually been
naked in front of a man before ^^ apart from Mick of
course, and that didn't seem the same
somehow.  I also had a hardon, caused partly by the
sight of Phil, who by now was completely
stripped, and partly because of the sense of
anticipation of things to come.

Phil must have somehow sensed what I was feeling
because he threw a dressing gown over to me
and said I might like to put it on. Gratefully I did
as I was told, wrapping it around me before I
took off my trousers and pants.

Returning to the sauna, I was amazed to find how warm
and steamy it had become in just the few
minutes we had been away. It was stiflingly hot and I
could only breath with great difficulty.  Phil, on the
other hand seemed not to mind at all ^^ the temperature
and humidity seemingly having no effect on him at all.


Seeing my discomfort, Phil smiled at me and said that
he was sorry. He was used to the sauna
being as it was and had forgotten that I was totally
new to the experience.

"Hold on, I'll turn it down a bit," he said, much to
my relief.

Lazily, he lay on one of the benches and stretched
out, indicating that I should do the same.
Choosing the one on the other side of the cabin, I lay
on my back, arms under my head and staring at the
ceiling absorbing the atmosphere,

Feeling a lot more relaxed now, I turned my head to
look at Phil and saw that he had taken his
dressing gown off and was seemingly dozing.

I felt a familiar stirring in my groin at this sight
and copying Phil's example, unfastening the belt of my
dressing gown, let it fall open.  Without moving my
head, I peered down at my cock and was delighted to
find that I could just see the tip of it above my
tummy.  Forgetting where I was for a second, I amused
myself by making it twitch a little, making it appear
and disappear from my sight.

Then I remembered Phil. Turning my head to one side, I
looked at him.  His body was beautiful.
Not muscular, but not thin either. He had a few hairs
on his chest, but not that many. Not as many as Mick
had anyway. His prick, I was saddened to notice,
wasn't hard. At least I couldn't see it, and so
assumed it was still soft.  Sliding myself up the
bench a bit, I lifted my head up and rested it on the
wall.  Now I could see his tool.  Just like Phil, it
was nice looking, even in its present state.
Mentally, I compared it with my own, much smaller
version and hoped that mine would grow to look just
like his.

As I was thinking these delicious thoughts, I saw his
cock begin to come to life. I watched,
fascinated, as it slowly got bigger and bigger, harder
and harder. Soon it was standing perfectly
upright and looking even better than before. I longed
desperately to feel it, to hold it and to play
with it. And I wanted just as desperately for Phil to
play with mine.

I was just wondering how I could arrange this when
Phil turned over to face me.

"Want to share a bench?" he whispered hoarsely at me,
"You can if you like."

Nodding in assent, I climbed down, dropped my gown on
the floor and joined Phil.

To make enough room for me, he turned fully on his
side and lay with his back against the wall.
There was just enough room for the two of us, provided
that I put an arm round and hugged him
tightly ^^ naturally I didn't object to that in the
slightest.

At that moment, I was ecstatic!  The feeling I had of
my whole body pressed tightly against his
was magical!  Closing my eyes, I concentrated with all
my mind on the sensation, revelling in pure enjoyment.

I was dimly aware of Phil sliding a hand down between
us, taking hold of my prick and superbly
caressing it, moving his fingers gently all round my
cock and balls.  I almost fainted with pleasure ^^ I
had never felt quite like this before, and I wanted it
to go on for ever.

Feeling him let go of me for a moment, I opened my
eyes and found myself looking straight into
his.  He wasn't smiling any more; instead he was
looking deadly serious.

"You all right?" he whispered.

"Yes. Fine. You?"

"Never better. I just can't believe that you are here,
that's all."

As much to my surprise as his, I suddenly found myself
kissing him on the lips.  Shocked at
myself, I pulled back.

"Ssssorry!" I managed to stumble out, " I didn't
mean..."

He silenced me with a finger to my lips.

"Hey, I don't mind. Rather liked it in fact!" and with
that kissed me back.

That seemed to be the signal that all was OK between
us, and we both relaxed in each other's
arms.

I had been with men before of course, more in fact
than I could remember. But they had almost all been
quick gropes followed by hurried jerk^^offs, a sordid
handing over of money and a rapid
separation.  This was different.  Phil and I seemed to
have taken an intense and deep liking for
each other, even on this short acquaintance.

The next timeless age we spent exploring each other
with an intensity and passion that I had never
experienced before. No, not even with Mike.   We
kissed, cuddled, fondled and caressed each other with
a passion I for one didn't know I had.  Even after we
had both come, covering
ourselves with each other's juices, we didn't stop.
It was only when we both realised that it had
become dark outside that we reluctantly brought a
melancholy end to our pleasures.

It was in a somewhat better spirit that we chatted
easily as I was driven back towards home.
Nothing was said about the past hours we had spent
together. There was no need to as we both
realised that it wasn't going to be the last.

In fact we met regularly and frequently over the next
weeks, agreeing to meet at the place we had
first got together ^^ the railway station.  During our
times together we both learned a great deal:
not only about one another, but how we could delight
and pleasure each other. Not once did he
cause me any pain or grief, not even when he fucked me
for the first time. It was wonderful.  And
it was even better when I fucked him.

For once my life seemed to be easy and happy. I had no
worries of any consequence, I had a
friend who cared for me and even my school work
improved enough to keep me out of trouble.
Life was perfect.

Until, that is, that fateful day.  I can't even
remember the date now ^^ all I know is that it was a
Thursday I will never forget.  I had been with Phil
the evening before, and was keenly waiting
until the weekend when I was intending to spend the
whole of Saturday with him.

I was smiling to myself in excited anticipation of the
weekend as I turned the key in my front
door and went in.

"That you Gareth?" I heard mum shout from the living
room. I knew instantly something was
wrong. Seriously wrong.

"Come here will you?"

Sat around the dining table were my mother and two
strangers.  On the table in front of them was
a pile of official looking papers, which were
hurriedly turned over as I approached them.

The next hour was the most awful of my life.
Apparently one of Phil's neighbours had seen me
going into his house rather a lot and had become so
suspicious that she had told the Police.
Unknown to either me or Phil they had watched us both
for days, and they had actually arrested
him on his way back home after he had dropped me off
last night.

They never actually asked what we had been doing; it
was all inferences and indirect sort of
questions. But I knew what they were getting al all
right, and I wasn't going to help them if I
could help it.  Even when they said that I wasn't the
first boy he'd "been friendly" with as they put
it, I didn't care.  I knew that I was the best, the
one he liked the most, and anyway, he was my
best friend.

I was taken away from home that night and spent the
next couple of weeks in a special sort of
home ^^ an assessment centre they called it.  I was
given all sorts of tests and medical
examinations, none of which I cared a shit about.  The
only time I got really pissed off was when
a doctor tried to put his finger up me. It hurt,
surprisingly enough, knowing what had been there
before. But it did, and I told the doctor so in no
uncertain terms just before I smacked him on the
mouth.

That was it. From then on I never went home again.  I
was told that mum didn't want me
anymore, and that in any case I would be better off
"where someone can take care of me."  The
only good thing which came out of it was that I
learned from one of the very few letters mum
wrote to me that Phil wasn't charged as they couldn't
prove anything. He did, however, move
away and I never heard from him again.


Chapter Twelve.


So. That was it. I had completed my story up to the
time I had been taken into care. A few days
ago I had definitely made my mind up that I wasn't
going to put down anything at all on paper,
but now I had written more than I had probably done in
all my school life put together and in fact
if the truth be known, I had actually enjoyed doing
it. I piled all the loose papers together, placed
them in a neat stack on the table and sat back in the
chair. Glancing at the clock, I saw with some
little surprise that it was almost midnight and
suddenly felt very tired. My mind however was still
full of the things I had just written about, and
although my body needed some rest, my brain was
still very much awake.  Deciding at least that I aught
to make half an effort to go to bed, I
stripped down to my underwear and lay on the bed,
folding my arms behind my head, I stared at
the ceiling.

I was thinking of that awful day when I was taken into
care ^^ something which hadn't crossed my
mind for ages as I had done my best to try and forget
all about it, without much success.  Out of
the whole sad mess, the one thing that pissed me off
more than anything else was the fact that my
mother had made no effort to keep in touch with me.
Oh, of course, I had the few obligatory
letters from her once in a while when I was first in
care, but it wasn't long before they got fewer
and further between and those I did get were short and
hurriedly scrawled just as if she was doing
a necessary but distasteful job. The last one I ever
got, about a year ago now, was just a few lines
long  ^^ "I have found a nice man to live with, and we
are going away to start a new life. I don't
know where exactly, but as soon as we are settled, I
will write and tell you." And that was it. She
never did tell me where she ended up, and as time
passed by I cared less and less.  The only times
it got to me was when the other kids in the homes I
had been in got visits from their families ^^ and I
never did. No birthday present, no Christmas presents
^^ nothing apart from what the "carers" decided to give
me.  That hurt more than I would ever admit to anyone.

By now I had made myself thoroughly miserable and was
feeling very sorry for myself when there was a tap on
the door, quickly followed by it opening and Martin
sliding through.  Carefully
locking the door behind him, he scuttled across to my
bed, his pyjama trousers open enough to
tell me that he wasn't wearing any underwear.

"Wotcha Mate!" he grinned as he sat on the edge.  "How
are ya?"

With an immense mental effort, I cleared my mind and
turned on to my side to look at him.

"Fine." I lied. "You?"

"Great! I just thought I'd pay a visit just to say
'Goodnight' to a friend of ours. As he said this, he
slid his hand into my boxers and took hold of my cock.

Not surprisingly, bearing in mind state I had been in
a few seconds before, Martin didn't get the
response he expected from me. My prick simply didn't
rise to the occasion.

Noticing this tardiness on my part, Martin took a good
look at me, realising for the first time that
I wasn't all that 'fine'.

"Hey, mate, what's the matter? You look really pissed
off."

"Yeah. Well. I am ^^ sort of. I think I'm just tired.
That's all," I lied again.

"Oh. OK. I'll leave you in peace then."

Martin's face said it all. He was both disappointed
and confused.  He opened his mouth to say
something, but changing his mind, he stood up and
headed for the door.

Why I did what I did next, I will never understand.
All I know is that in some sort of mental flash, I
knew that the last thing I wanted to be was alone.
More than anything else in the world, I
needed company, especially that of Martin, who already
knew more about me than anyone else in
the whole world ^^ and probably cared more as well.

Jumping from my bed I just managed to reach him before
he got to the door.  Throwing my arms
around him, I hugged him to me. Tightly.

"Don't go," I pleaded, and burst into tears.

This shocked Martin into silence. Slowly and very
apprehensively he put his arms round my waist, not
squeezing me, but just letting them rest there. He was
embarrassed, I could tell.

Not even trying to talk, I just clung to him and
eventually managing to stop blubbering.

"Ssssssory!" I mumbled as I eventually let him go. "I
don't know ..........."  I couldn't say any more
as I hadn't a clue what to say.  Instead, I just stood
there like some sort of idiot, wiping the tears
from my face with the back of my hand.

"Hey, what's the matter?" Martin said, with more
concern in his voice that I thought him capable
of.

"Nothing," I started to say, but changing my mind,
carried on, " I dunno. I am feeling pissed off
and fed up for some reason.  Come on, let's go back to
the bed. I feel like some company."

Together we lay on the single bed, our arms wrapped
round each other, neither of us speaking.  I
couldn't, and Martin wouldn't.

I was still feeling strange, not fed up or anything
now, just feeling odd.  Dimly I became aware
that Martin was stroking my hair, just like a mother
does to her baby.

Opening my eyes and finding myself looking straight
into his, I managed a slight smile.

"Feeling better?" he whispered.  In reply I simply
nodded.

"Good."

Gratefully, I made myself more comfortable, cuddling
up to my best friend and closing my eyes, I
relaxed.

We lay like this for ages, both of us slipping into
and out of a light sleep.  For once in my life, I
was perfectly at ease. I was feeling a great deal
better than I had just a few minutes before: in fact
I was feeling happier than I had felt for months it
seemed. Opening my eyes, I pulled Martin's face
towards me and kissed him passionately on the lips.

"Thanks!" I whispered. "Thanks!"

Martin grinned broadly, but said nothing. He didn't
need to.  Instead I felt his hand grab my cock
again and give it a gentle squeeze.  This time it
responded just as it should. Instantly I had an
erection. No sort of gradual build up from a limp,
flaccid state to a boner, but an instant, painful
hardon.

"That's better!" he laughed. "Now, that's something
else!" again giving me a playful squeeze.

I felt that somehow a barrier had been broken between
us: I knew that from this moment on, we
were a lot more than friends.  I don't know what word
I could use instead, but somehow 'friends'
seemed hopelessly inadequate. 'Lovers' might be a
better word. But between boys? Hardly. And
yet ...  I felt warm, supremely content and perfectly
comfortable. And completely unable to
understand exactly why.

"Just a minute. Get up will you for a sec." I heard
Martin say, "Let's get comfortable shall we?"
More than willingly, I did as I was asked. Martin, for
his part, removed his pyjamas, revealing his
beautiful prick in its full rampant glory. Somewhat
stupidly, I just stood and stared at it, as if
seeing it for the first time, which in an odd sort of
way, I was.

"Come on, get 'em off!" he said quietly and with a
degree of passion I hadn't heard him use
before.

Still unable to move, I watched as Martin pulled my
boxers to the floor, taking the opportunity to
fondle my balls as he did so.

"Now, let's get cosy shall we?" he said as he pushed
me delicately back on the bed.

Wrapping the bedcover over us, we embraced and kissed.
Not violently or hurriedly, but slowly,
passionately and tenderly.  Reaching out, he switched
off the bedside light, leaving us in almost
total darkness.

"That's better!" were the last words he sighed as once
more took me in his arms.

We didn't have sex that night ^^ at least if you don't
call jerking each other off sex because that was all
we did. Instead we fondled, caressed and cuddled each
other almost all night. It was
tremendous; in many ways better than the sex we had
had before. Being both perfectly at ease, we were more
than content just to hold one another and let our
hands wander where they will.

I don't actually remember falling asleep ^^ the next
thing I was aware of was daylight streaming
through the window, lighting up Martin's sleeping
face. In something of a panic, I searched for the
clock and was relieved to see that it was only just
six a.m. Still time to get Martin back to his own room
before he was missed.

Sliding my hand under the cover, I searched for his
cock. Idly stroking it, I closed my eyes and
concentrated on the delicious feeling I had as it
gradually came to life.

"Mmmmmmmmmm!" Martin moaned as he slowly woke up,
"That's nice! Don't stop. Ever!" he
continued, eyes still closed, but with a wicked smile
on his face.

With some difficulty, I managed to turn round in the
bed, and took his prick in my mouth.
Gingerly, I let it fill my mouth. Deliberately and as
sensitively as I could, I began to work my
tongue all over it, savouring every millimetre of it.
Martin, I was delightfully aware was doing the same to
me.

I know it is a trite phrase, and probably much
overused, but the sex we had in the next hour or so
was the best ever. The episode of last night was over
and done with. Our relationship had
changed forever, and for the first time in my life I
was truly content.  Not just happy you
understand, but perfectly content.

When we eventually came into each other's mouths, it
was so good that my balls ached with the
effort, and they hadn't done that for months.  I was
knackered ^^ literally!

Exhausted, we lay back in the narrow bed, one arm
round each other.

"Don't ever ... ever..." I started to say, but the
effort of stopping myself from crying once again
stopped me from continuing.

"I know. I know," Martin whispered, "I won't. We are
mates. Remember?"

The alarm went off at 7.30. with enough noise to wake
the dead.

"Shit!" we said in unison, "Fuck it!"

In something of a major state of panic, Martin leapt
out of bed and searched for his pyjamas.
Hurriedly throwing them on, he rushed to the door,
unlocked it and with a garbled "See ya later!"
headed back to his own room.

We were lucky. It was only about five minutes later
that one of the members of staff came round
to make sure that everyone was up and about.
Breathing a sigh of relief, I washed and dressed
myself before heading downstairs for breakfast.

Chapter Thirteen

Over the next few weeks, Martin and I became regular
and frequent bedfellows as well as the
best of mates.  It was even noticed by the other boys
as well as the staff that we had become the
firmest of friends ^^ inseparable in fact.  To begin
with, we had the usual "gay" and "queer" taunts
from the other kids, none of them ever realising in
fact how close to the truth they were.  It wasn't
easy at times, keeping our true relationship secret,
but by and large we managed it with only a few
problems.

One odd effect we had on each other was a sudden, and
to others inexplicable, improvement in
both our school work and personal appearance.  It was
almost as if we were in some sort of
unspoken competition with each other to see who could
do the best school work or dress the
smartest when going out.  This of course was noticed
by the other inmates of the home, and did
cause a bit of grief for us, but once again nothing
too serious.  The staff, however, if they did
notice any change, didn't say anything.  They were
grateful I suppose that I for one stopped
causing them any problems.  Still, a kindly "well
done" or something wouldn't have hurt.

I didn't look at the writing I had been doing for
weeks. There didn't seem any point now. In fact it
had almost forgotten all about when I found it hidden
in a shoe box at the bottom of a cupboard. I
had taken out of the box and was about to burn it when
Martin said that I aught to save it, after
all it wasn't finished yet was it?

Sitting on the bed, we re^^read it all the way through,
Martin reading for the first time the last bit I
had written, about Phil, the sauna, the visits to his
house, and eventually the visit by the Social
Workers and Police.

Thankfully, and as I expected, Martin never mentioned
this last episode of my life. The only thing he did
ask was if I had ever had any sort of 'sex fun' in the
homes I had lived in.  I knew by now that our
relationship was strong enough to cope with this. He
wasn't in the slightest bit envious or jealous, just
curious as a friend would be.

I told him that there had been several boys I had had
some sort of relationship with, none of them
serious or long-lasting. They were fun at the time
though, as I explained.

After we had had sex, there was nothing Martin liked
better than to hear me ramble on about
some of the kids I'd met and the things we'd done. In
fact, we turned these stories into a sort of
game where we would re-enact some of the schemes I'd
carried out to seduce a particularly
attractive boy, or on more than one occasion, how I
myself had been more than willingly seduced
by another boy.

I discovered that I had something of a talent for
telling these stories, rather to my surprise. They
were all true of course, but I did allow myself a bit
of 'poetic licence', if only to make them more
interesting.  Some were even amusing, like the time a
mate and I somehow managed to go home
with each other's underpants on ^^ and believe me, that
took some explaining! On another occasion I had been
having some rather hurried and frantic jerk^^off fun
with another boy in the school toilets when we both
came together, and massively. Unfortunately I failed
to notice that most of the spunk had ended up down the
front of my trousers!  It was the teacher who
suggested that I try to remove at least some of the
"ice cream" stains before I went home. Whether he knew
or not what they really were, I never found out, but I
am fairly certain that he had a damn good idea.
Anyway, as soon as I got in the house, I dashed
upstairs and attempted to wash them out. The result
was disastrous!  Rather than having stains which could
at a pinch be explained away, I
looked for all the world as if I had wet myself ^^ and
my carer was not best pleased. Still, I
managed to get away with that one as well, accepting
the nominal punishment of being grounded
for a couple of days as the alternative of telling the
truth didn't bear thinking about!

These late night conversations Martin and I had were
fantastic. For the first time as far as I could
remember, I had found someone with whom not only could
I relax completely, but also was able
to tell him exactly how I felt without having to hold
things back, or without being thought of as
odd or peculiar. He understood me, and I him.  There
was no need for either of us to pretend that
we were something we weren't and that led of course to
a warm, comfortable friendship between
us.

Chapter Fourteen

Things ran along very nicely for some months. As I
said earlier, my school marks and my attitude
has changed very much for the better and I hadn't
caused any problems for ages.  That is why,
when one day both Martin and I were sent for by the
head of the home.  In the past this had
always been because we had done something wrong, and
were about to be given a bollocking of
some sort. But this time, we hadn't done anything ^^ at
least nothing we could think of. But it was
still with some feeling of trepidation that I went in
his office.

"Sit down, both of you. I have something to tell you."
He was smiling, which knowing him as I
did, was a good sign. At least we weren't in trouble.

Lighting a cigarette, he leant back in his chair and
looked at us for a minute or two.

"Well, " he said eventually, "I am pleased to see the
tremendous improvement in you both over
the past few months. I am impressed. I don't know why,
or how you have done it, but for
whatever reason, you are turning into two nice lads."

I was curious as to where this odd conversation was
leading ^^ if we weren't in trouble, then what?

The answer came soon enough.  The home we were all
sharing was being closed and all the
'inmates' were to be moved out.  In the past, this
wouldn't have worried me in the slightest, but
now I had Martin. And the last thing I wanted, or
needed in fact, was for us to be separated. The
thought was devastating, and I stopped listening to
the head going on: my mind was far too full of other
things to worry about what he was rabbiting on about.
I came to, however, when I thought I heard him say
".... so you are both going to Mr. and Mrs White's
home to live, hopefully permanently, until you are
able to leave school and get your own places."

"What?  Sorry!  I was thinking ................What
did you say?" I managed to stammer out.

That smile again.  "Yeah. A bit of a shock I dare say.
But we have been lucky enough to find a
place for the both of you together. We have noticed
how friendly you have become, and we
thought that it would be a pity to split you up if it
could be avoided. So, if you agree, you have
been invited to stay with them next weekend to see if
you all get along together. Oh, and by the
way, they have a son of their own, a year or two
younger than you, so you should be OK."

Gobsmacked wasn't the word. We were both struck dumb
for a minute or two. It was simply too
good to be true.  He went on to say that our
prospective foster parents hadn't been told very
much about the real reasons we had been placed in
care: a fact which I for one was very grateful.

"As far as you are concerned, Gareth, they have been
told you have been orphaned, which in a
sense is true. It's up to you how much more you tell
them, if anything."

And that was it. We went on the visit, liked the
family very much and made arrangements to move in with
them.  What made it even more appealing was their son
Andrew. He was an
angelic looking 13 year old: fair haired, brown eyes ^^
you know the sort ^^ and with a smile to die
for.   The minute we saw him, there was an instant
attraction between the three of us.  I looked
across at Martin and smiled. He obviously felt the
same as I did. And a sixth sense told me that
our nocturnal activities would not only continue
(which had been a concern for the both of us) but
might even improve!

Anyway, I have decided to end my story just here.
There is a lot more to tell of course, but just
now I am so busy doing other things that I don't seem
to have much time ^^ Martin, Andrew and I
have found some far more interesting things to do with
ourselves than waste time writing. But I
will continue the story later I am sure ^^ keep an eye
open for it.

Yours ever,

Gareth.
*************************