Date: Sun, 03 Apr 2005 04:49:03 -0700
From: fritz@nehalemtel.net
Subject: I Love Corey, Chapter Fifty-one

	Since I'm probably fighting a losing battle, why do I bother to
write these disclaimers?  I do it in the hope that all good little boys and
girls will do the correct thing and leave this site if they are too young
to be here.  You old fogies can stick around if you want to.
	Of course the old fogies better leave if they're a little uptight
about the thoughts of gay sex.  No, I don't mean that kind of uptight.  I
mean the kind of uptight where reading about it offends you.  If you get
uptight the other way, stick around for a few chapters.
	Those of you unfortunate enough to live in an area where the
reading of this story is prohibited, please leave before you get in
trouble.  My conscience is already burdened enough by my own misdeeds.  I
don't need to add yours to it.
	Remember, this story is fiction.  There is no reality involved.  It
is only fantasy and should be looked upon as such.
	Please do me the favor of respecting my rights of ownership.  That
means don't post the story on another site without asking for and receiving
permission from me.  That would also include attributing any quotes, from
the story, to me.
	Once again thanks to Ernie.  His help and advice are greatly
appreciated.
	I know.  It looks like this disclaimer is a little short but I'm
running low on words.  Don't worry; there is another shipment on the way.
In the meantime feel free to write and complain, criticize, offer
suggestions, or just comment.  I try to respond to all such emails.  Send
to fritz@nehalemtel.net I hope you enjoy the following chapter.  Fritz
****************************************************************************

		I Love Corey, Chapter Fifty-one
	A medium loud woof woke me up.  I was in the midst of a tangle of
arms and legs and getting loose was a problem but soon those arms and legs
started moving on their own and I managed to get free.  I could hear some
noise and the way Dog's tail was moving told me it had to be Rob and Chuck.
It was somewhat early for them to get home but only by an hour or so.  Boys
were groaning and heading for the bathroom.  Come to think of it, I needed
to go there also.
	I suppose one might say that Rob's and Chuck's asses were dragging.
That wouldn't be exactly accurate because by the time I made it to the
kitchen, they were sitting down.  They looked a hell of a lot worse than I
now felt.  Some sleep had helped calm and refresh me.  They, on the other
hand, looked like death warmed over.  Not only that, they were trying to
drink the leftover coffee and that had to be worse than battery acid.  It
had been made sometime last night and had been sitting ever since.  We'd
all had cocoa when we got home from the police station and hadn't touched
the coffee.  One look at the expression on Rob's face, when he took a sip,
told me I'd better make some fresh coffee.  Billy and Larry showed up about
the time the coffee was done and they wanted to hear all about it.  They
filled the boys in on how work had gone.  None of us had thought to call
the Downies and tell them the boys weren't coming in and I was just about
to call them and apologize when Rob told us that Ellen had told him she
understood why we weren't there.
	Corey was in a total funk.  He wouldn't talk.  He just sat with his
head down.  Lee was jittery as hell and kept looking around and JJ and LT
sat close together, not saying much.  I finally ordered Chinese take-out.
No one seemed to want to go out to dinner and I sure didn't.  I just wanted
to rest and recover from last night.  As I was getting ready to leave, to
pick up the meal, I finally looked up.  There was a hell of a hole in the
ceiling.  I guess that was where LT had fired the warning shot.  While each
of those pellets might be small, that many hitting in one place had no
trouble penetrating the ceiling.  I could easily stick my thumb through the
hole.  All I could think of was that I was glad it hadn't come to making a
hole like that in a person.  As upset as I was with Walt, thankfully no one
had been forced to shoot him.
	Billy and Larry dove right in to the take-out but the rest of us
just picked at it.  Eyes kept going up to that hole and you could tell what
everyone was thinking.  When Billy and Larry left, I figured we might as
well talk about everything that had happened.
	I didn't have much luck cheering Corey up.  He was still in shock
that his mother could be involved in something like what had happened.  I
spent quite a bit of time trying to make him see that it wasn't his fault
and that drugs made people act in strange ways, especially when trying to
come up with a way to get more of those drugs.  He didn't seem to want to
believe me but hopefully what I said would help him when he finally thought
about it.
	Then there was Lee.  It took some more time to tell him that he was
all right and the likelihood of something like this happening again was
negligible.  He finally seemed to accept that he was safe and relaxed some.
He was still quiet but now looked like he was coping better.
	I praised JJ and LT but pointed out a few things they needed to
think about when they were in a critical situation.  I explained to LT that
he needed to stay a little further away from people when he was trying to
protect himself or others because if he got too close, the attacker might
be able to reach his weapon and disarm him.  We discussed it, with him
explaining that he was trying to get a clear shot at Walt, but in a little
while he agreed that I had a point.  As for JJ, I pointed out that he had
done pretty good but needed to make sure his weapon was loaded, even if it
slowed his response time.  While an empty gun might scare most people,
those on drugs don't always react rationally.  I also praised both boys for
choosing the shotguns over pistols.  A shotgun is a better self-defense
weapon if you have a chance to get one.  A pistol should only be used if
you are skilled and know what you are doing with it.  It's too easy to miss
because you are prone to jerk the trigger, pulling the gun off target.
With a shotgun it is harder to do that.
	I also praised LT for showing good judgment in not shooting Walt
when he quit resisting.  It would have been easy to do so and I suspect
that there would have been no repercussions over it because of
self-defense.  Still, the taking of a life is hard to justify and one
should never do it unless forced.  I also pointed out that hopefully Walt
and Mrs. Babcock could get some help with their drug problems while in jail
and come out better people.
	Rob and Chuck headed off for bed in the middle of the discussion
but the boys and I had gotten some sleep and continued talking until quite
late.  Everyone was still upset and so I wasn't really surprised when
everyone headed for my bedroom, even Dog.  It was very crowded but Dog had
quite a bit of room on the foot of the bed.
	I don't think any of us slept all that well.  Nightmares woke me
once and they appeared to do the same with the boys.  Still, being all
together helped and each of us seemed to quickly drop back off to sleep.
It wasn't the best night's sleep I'd ever had because we were jammed
together but it was better than sleeping alone.  I think all of us needed
some feeling of security.  Being together seemed to provide that feeling.
	None of us felt all that good when we finally woke up.  There just
wasn't enough room in the bed for five people to sleep comfortably.  I
ached in several joints from spending the night in one position.  So did
the boys.  Rob and Chuck had left for work and so there was no one to
interfere with us.  That meant that we could talk some more about what had
happened.  We just had to work it in around the work schedule the boys had.
However breakfast was the first order of the day.
	Since it was a pretty nice day I left the patio door open enough
for Dog to run in and out.  He really liked that and, since the new fence
was up, I was comfortable that nothing would happen to him.  He bounced in
and out while breakfast was cooking but when it got close to being done, he
suddenly seemed to find lots of reasons to stay in the kitchen.  It's a
good thing I fixed lots because the boys kept slipping him bites and they
did pretty good themselves.  None of us had eaten that much yesterday and
the boys seemed to make up for that.
	Dog really enjoyed the pancakes.  Well, maybe it was the maple
syrup on the pancakes but this time he kept circling the table, trying to
get a bite from everyone.  I gave up and fixed him a dish with a couple of
pancakes and he slicked it right up and then nosed the dish over to me like
he wanted me to fill it again.  Those big brown eyes got him another couple
of pancakes.  On the other hand, the boys didn't nose their dishes over to
me, they just kept filling them.  I even had to make another batch before
everyone was full.  At least by the time I finished cooking breakfast I had
worked the kinks out of my joints from my crowded night.
	Corey and Lee were working the first shift this morning so after
dropping them off, JJ and LT helped with some of the housework.  I made
sure to talk with them some more.  I kept praising them for making mostly
wise decisions on how the had reacted while trying to reinforce the idea
that one needed to be careful and make sure one did the right thing.  One
of the things I kept trying to get across was that while sometimes
violence, or the threat of violence, was necessary, still one shouldn't use
it as a first resort.  It was something that was a last resort and the
trick was to recognize which times violence was appropriate.  They had used
good judgment in their response and I made sure and praised them for it.
Had Walt not had a knife, their response would have been a too much.  I
also tried to stress that a person needed to try to think before responding
and then make sure that you took the time to do your response properly.  In
the case of JJ, he needed to try to remain calm enough to do such things as
load his weapon.  We kicked it around while doing and folding laundry and
by the time we left to pick up Corey and Lee, I think they were starting to
understand what I was trying to get across.  I sure didn't want them
thinking that a gun was the solution to very many problems.  Yet sometimes
it was the only solution.  Sure they could have called 911 but could the
police have gotten there quickly enough?  Billy and Larry got in on the
last part of that conversation because I picked them up for their shift.
They would work the next shift so it was easy to haul them to Downie's
while I was going to pick up Corey and Lee.  When we got things sorted out
I took the boys home.  I now had all four of them at home.  JJ and LT would
work the last shift today.
	Corey had been very quiet when I took him to work and he wasn't
much better when I picked him up.  At least Lee was acting almost normal
for him.  That meant that neither was saying much.  I hadn't figured out
what to say to Lee but I knew I really needed to talk and see if I could
get Corey to understand that he was in no way responsible for what his
mother had done.
	It's hard to explain behavior you don't understand.  All I could do
was make some guesses at to why his mother might have let herself be drawn
into what had happened.  We talked about drugs in general and why she might
have gotten hooked on them.  I gave reasons like she was trying to escape
depression or a feeling of worthlessness.  I even tried pointing out that
maybe she had been given some without her knowledge and become addicted.
That drifted into other things like was I addicted to coffee.  While I
almost always had some in the morning, it was more that I needed some time
to get myself going.  I pointed out that there were mornings that I had
cocoa and skipped the coffee so it wasn't the same thing.  I pointed out
that while he liked some wine with his meals, there were lots of nights we
didn't have any so we were left not understanding what drove his mother to
need drugs.  We were still talking about it when it was time to pick up
Billy and Larry and drop off LT and JJ.
	After dropping Billy and Larry off at their respective houses, that
left just Lee and Corey for me to talk with.  I suggested that Corey should
speak with his mother but he didn't want to do so yet.  He was still too
upset.  So we spent the time until we had to pick up JJ and LT talking.
	Lee hadn't said much and I made sure to include him.  I pointed out
he was safe and that he had not done anything foolish.  He was upset that
he hadn't helped but I pointed out that I had suggested he spend the time
in his room and he hadn't been in any position to help or even really know
what was going on.  Rushing out into an unknown situation was not the
smartest thing to do and so about all he could have done was try to get to
a phone and even that might have been risky.  He kept saying he was a
coward but I kept pointing out that he hadn't been in any position to
really know what to do and sometimes it was better not to take chances.  I
pointed out that he should learn from what had happened and see if he could
figure out what he might have done differently.  I figured I'd let him
think about it for a while and talk with him some more.
	As for Corey, I was still trying to get him to understand that he
wasn't responsible for his mother's actions.  Not only that, I was trying
to make him understand that her actions were the result of her need for
drugs and that she really wasn't a bad a person.  I tried to make him
understand that she might be weak but not necessarily bad.  An addiction
can drive good people to do bad things.  He didn't seem to be accepting
what I was saying and I could only hope that he would remember later and
understand.  Sometimes it just takes some time for what a person hears to
finally be understood.
	Dinner was kind of quiet.  Even Billy and Larry didn't say much.
They must have been picking up on the way the rest of us were feeling and
acting.  Rob and Chuck were probably still tired and the boys were still
upset.  Still everyone seemed to eat their normal amount of food so at
least we were all starting to come to grips with what had happened.
	Judy stopped in after dinner.  She was pretty well hooked in with
the police and always seemed to know most of what they were doing.  I
suppose that was part of her job.  Anyhow, she filled us in on a little of
what was happening.  Mrs. Babcock was not going to be charged with much.
Under more questioning it had been determined that she thought that they
could talk me out of some money and she had not expected any violence.  If
she had been able to make even a small amount of bail she would have
already been out.  As it was, there would be a short hearing on Monday and
the charges against her would probably be dismissed.  In fact right now she
was only being held as a material witness.  While there were still charges
against her, they would be dropped.  If it hadn't been the weekend she
would have already been out of jail.
	Walt, on the other hand, had lots more problems.  He was wanted in
Nevada for jumping bail in an assault case and had a few other warrants out
for his arrest.  To hear Judy tell it, he probably wouldn't be free for
quite a few years.  He apparently was not a nice person.  One of the
warrants was in connection with a murder.  It seemed he was the prime
suspect.  He'd been on the run for the last year.  He was no longer talking
but had already said enough to pretty well seal his fate.  Word around the
station was that he was so high he hadn't realized he was spilling his
guts.  It seems that a combination of drugs and fear had produced a signed
confession and the police had not been forced to furnish either.  They
figured his lawyer would probably argue that his confession had been
obtained under duress but they had the whole thing taped and the word was
that there shouldn't be any problems obtaining a conviction.
	I think hearing all that from Judy did more for Corey than all I
had tried to do.  I can't say he cheered up but at least he didn't seem
quite as depressed.
	The rest of the evening was pretty quiet.  The boys clustered
around me and we watched a little television.  Dog kept my foot warm.  Rob
and Chuck went to bed early and so did we.  The only thing was that in less
than ten minutes after getting in bed, there were once again four boys in
bed with me.  Dog claimed his place on the foot of the bed.
	It was a kind of random conversation about the things we'd talked
about during the day.  I'm not sure why they hadn't brought those things up
while we were watching television but they wanted to talk now.  As we
talked, one after another they dropped off to sleep.  I'm not sure who the
last one was because somewhere along the way I went to sleep.
	I woke up in the middle of the night with Corey softly sobbing
against my shoulder.  Before it was over, all the boys were awake and we
spent the rest of the night talking some more.  Maybe it was what we'd
talked about yesterday or maybe it was the fact that they'd had some time
to try to digest what had happened but now there were a lot more things
they needed to talk about.  At least this time they appeared to really
listen to what I was saying.
	We spent some more time talking about those times when violence
might be an appropriate response.  It was pretty well agreed that it would
only be necessary when someone was in severe danger of losing his life and
not over things like property theft.  Someone taking a swing at you didn't
necessarily warrant you swinging back.  Only if you were in real danger was
violence an appropriate response.  You also should never use more response
than was necessary.  I pointed out that I had been guilty of over-reacting
when I went after Rob at the hospital a few weeks back.  We kicked that
around for a while and hopefully we all learned something from it.  We all
agreed that the boys had done the proper thing in regards to Walt because a
weapon was involved.  When a weapon was involved, one needed to do whatever
was necessary to defend himself or other people.  Still, one should make
sure one knew what was happening before assuming any one person was the one
responsible and acting on that assumption.  Things are not always what they
appear at first glance.  In the case of Walt's and my fight, one glance
pretty well told the story.  He had the knife in his hand and was trying to
use it against me.  Still, they would have been wrong to just shoot him
without giving him a chance to explain himself.  After all, I may have
attacked him and he could have been defending himself.  No matter how much
we talked about that, it was hard to come up with a way to lay out some
guidelines.  Each situation was unique and a person had to be sure to try
to understand the situation before responding.
	We also covered drugs.  In many senses I was surprised at their
knowledge of drugs and the problems associated with them.  I hadn't
realized that they could possibly know that much about them.  I might have
expected such understanding in a larger city but out here in the sticks,
that understanding of the drug problem was surprising.  All of us ended up
trying to make Corey see that he was in no way responsible for his mother's
actions and he should not feel that he was at fault for the whole affair.
About all we could say was that Mrs. Babcock had a drug problem and was
somewhat weak while Walt appeared to be a bad person.
	By the time we finished it was breakfast time and about all we had
accomplished was to agree that before using violence, one needed to try to
make sure one understood the situation, and that drugs caused people to do
bad things when they normally wouldn't.  They appeared to be accepting that
they had responded appropriately and that if they always did that well in
the future, I would be proud of them and they would have every reason to
hold their heads high.  In the end, one has to live with one's self.  Even
if other people think you did the right thing, it means nothing unless you
feel you did.  We are frequently our own worst critics.
	JJ, LT, and Lee seemed to be coming to terms with what had
happened.  They were now beginning to think they had acted appropriately.
I think they understood that they would still need to think before acting
in the future but in this instance they had done a pretty good job.  LT had
done the best because he had made sure his shotgun was loaded and JJ said
that he needed to try to remain calmer so he could do a better job in the
future.  That was about all I could hope to accomplish.  If they learned
something from what had happened, hopefully it would help them in the
future.  When all was said and done, that was about all I could hope for.
It was all any parent could hope for.
	As for Corey, I wasn't sure he was accepting that he wasn't
responsible for what had happened.  No matter how much I tried to convince
him of that, it didn't appear to be sticking.  I knew I'd have to try again
later but for now it was time to get up and start the day.
	It was a typical rainy day.  Once again it wasn't storming but was
just one of those days when being outside would get you wet in a hurry.
Even Dog realized that because his trip outside for his doggy duties was
short and he shook himself off several times when he got back in.  He
seemed to like standing with his nose out that patio door, just looking
around and sniffing.  I was going to have to get a dog door.  A cold storm
would make leaving the patio door open enough for him go in and out a poor
idea.
	We had a good visit with Chuck and Rob during breakfast.  They were
both going to work this morning and hopefully they would finally get
everything caught up.  Both of them, along with Mr. Downie, had been
working long hours trying to get everything organized and enough sausages
and stuff like that made.  Today they would clean out the smokehouse and
from now on they thought that they would be able to work more normal hours.
When they told me about all that they had been doing, I was amazed that
Mr. Downie had managed to keep up before the storm.  He must have worked a
lot of hours I didn't know about.  To do all that and still make time for
his school board duties made me admire him even more than I had before.
	After Chuck and Rob left, we did a little house work.  No one had
much ambition as we had spent a fair part of the night talking.  The house
was just going to get a lick and a promise this weekend.  Oh well, the
things we didn't get done today would still be there later.  By lunch time,
everyone was dragging.  After lunch, a nap sounded good.  It was a little
nasty to shoot and no one had felt like getting dressed up and going to
church.  That made the day a little empty.  I was both surprised and happy
when there was only Corey on my bed when I lay down.  Well, Dog was there
but he doesn't count.  As soon as Corey and I were snuggled together, Dog
found my foot and put his head on it.  I think all of us were asleep before
I let my breath out.
	The nap seemed to help all of us, even Dog.  He was busy trying to
entice the boys into petting and grooming him.  I will have to admit he
looked cute lying on his back, trying to get his belly scratched.  His
front paws were sort of folded like a dog might hold them while sitting up
and begging and the groans and sighs from the scratching let everyone know
he was in doggy heaven.  Chuck and Rob had gotten home and had some of the
soup I'd fixed for lunch and everyone was just relaxing.  We all agreed we
should be finishing the painting on Rob and Chuck's place but no one had
enough ambition to do so.  Dog might have but, judging by his somewhat
sloppy drinking of water, I sure didn't want him close to any paint.  I was
sure that Dog left a quart of water dripping from his muzzle every time he
got a drink and the thoughts of that much paint being strewn around was
more than I wanted to face.
	Nobody was in the mood to cook so Italian Surprise got the nod.
Dog scowled at us when we left him home but he forgave us when we brought
him some doggy bags.  For the first time in my life I could ask for a doggy
bag and not a people bag.  It seemed a little strange to not put the bags
in the refrigerator but Dog scarfed down some pizza, some of my fettuccini,
and some other things and then a couple of bites of his own food.  After
that he seemed very contented.  I needed to check and see if people food
was bad for him.  He appeared to be putting on a little weight and his coat
looked better.
	The rest of the evening went pretty well.  The boys seemed to be
coming to grips with what had happened and Chuck and Rob were more relaxed.
Rob again called his children and spent some time talking to them.  Chuck
explained how happy he was with the new job.  All in all, everyone was
pretty relaxed and we just enjoyed visiting and doing nothing.
	After Rob got off the phone we continued talking.  I was surprised
when Rob finally asked Lee what he wanted to have happen about where he
lived.  Lee was almost speechless.  I could tell he wanted to say something
about he would like to live with Rob but he just couldn't seem to say it.
Rob finally smiled and asked if he might consider trying living with him
and Chuck and the two kids.  Lee stammered and blushed but finally managed
to nod yes.  Lee had been so thrilled that Rob was showing him some things
about meat cutting that he had almost developed a case of hero worship.
	Suddenly Lee seemed to remember I was still in the room.  He
panicked and fled to his room.  I motioned for Rob to stay there and went
to talk with Lee.
	He was on his bed crying.  It took a while but he finally quit.
After that, getting him to talk was a problem.  No matter how I tried, he
seemed upset.  About a half hour later I managed to get him to open up a
little.  Then it took some more time to convince him that I only wanted for
him what would be best for him.  He would still be welcome in my home even
if he ended up living with his step-father.  I was trying to be careful
because I didn't want him to think that I was in any way trying to get rid
of him, yet would feel bad if he left, all without making him feel bad no
matter what his choice.  We spent another hour just talking.  In the end, I
think he understood that he was welcome wherever he finally decided to
live.  I tried to point out that with Rob as his stepfather, he would have
more contact with his grandparents.  I found it hard to make sure he
understood that I would understand, no matter what his decision.  I pointed
out how much I loved my family and that I expected him to love his family.
I made sure he knew the difference between what his actual father had done
to him and how he should have been treated.  I felt bad that Rob had
brought it up this soon but knew he had been thinking about it ever since I
had mentioned how much Lee liked being taught by him.  Finally I suggested
that he think about it and maybe talk with Judy about it.  I was sure she
had dealt with this type of thing before and probably had a better idea of
how to explain to him about how to make his decision than I did.
	By the time I was done talking with Lee, everyone else was in bed.
After making sure they we tucked in and all the lights were off, I finally
made it to my room.  Corey was in bed and I soon joined him.  He curled up
in his favorite position but didn't seem to want to talk or do anything.  I
just held him and rubbed his shoulder until he finally relaxed and went to
sleep.  Then it was my turn to lay there and wonder how this was going to
affect everyone.  Eventually I joined Corey in sleep.
	When the clock started its assault I was surprised to see that
Corey and I were the only ones in my bed.  The rest of the boys and Dog had
not joined us.  We were all stumbling around much as we normally did.  That
was a step forward because it was so different than the past two days had
been.  Dog was his usual cheerful self and made sure and greeted us and the
rest of us just tried to get going.  Chuck and Rob didn't even have to go
in early so they joined us for breakfast.
	It wouldn't take a genius to figure out what most of the
conversation was about during the morning meeting.  I had to go over the
story several times as different people arrived but finally the school day
got started.  Classes weren't any better than the morning meeting.  Once
again I had to tell everyone what had happened.  I made sure and kept it
brief but there was no way to get out of talking about it.  Then there were
several phone calls from the District Attorney and others.  By the time my
free period had rolled around, I had more to do than I had time for.
	A supposedly quick trip to the D.A.'s office for a couple of quick
questions lasted until I almost didn't make it back for afternoon classes.
Neither of us got any lunch.  By the time I had the boys gathered up to go
to work, I was tired and hungry.  Of course a quick stop and McDonalds was
acceptable with the boys and at least it stopped my stomach from growling.
Dog enjoyed the few French Fries I didn't finish.  I was beginning to think
he got his appetite from the boys.  That meant almost anything was
acceptable as long as there was lots of it and it wasn't nailed down.  I
caught up on my grading while Dog held my foot down.  He didn't seem very
happy when I went and refilled my coffee cup but as soon as I was once
again seated, his head resumed its place.
	Bob showed up just as I got back with the boys and he and Corey
were soon in Corey's room, going over the next lesson.  When dinner was
finally on the table, we had to tell Bob all about what had happened.
Chuck and Rob headed off to finish painting the last room that needed it
and the evening proceeded about normally.  LT practiced on the organ, I
cleaned up the kitchen, and the rest of the boys did their homework.  I had
hopes that by the weekend Rob and Chuck would be moved into their new home.
Lee was still thinking about what he wanted to do.  I even called Judy and
asked her if she could spare a few minutes to talk with Lee and we set up
an appointment for tomorrow evening.
	Billy and Larry finished their homework first and after pointing
out a couple of things they might want to change, I sent them home.  Then
the rest of the boys started showing up with their homework.  That's the
way the rest of the evening went.  I was just sending boys off to take
their showers when Rob and Chuck got back.  They were finally finished with
the cleanup and were all excited about moving into their home.  By doing
the painting themselves they had gotten a couple of months' rent for free
and didn't have to put up a cleaning fee.  Not only that, they would be
able to move in at least a month earlier than if they had insisted on
letting the owner do the work.  Now it was just a matter of getting enough
furniture to live there.
	Corey still wasn't willing to see his mother.  He was still upset
with her.  As we lay in bed we discussed it.  While I didn't want to put
any pressure on him, he needed to see her and talk with her.  As best I
could tell he was mad at her and scared of her.  He still hadn't accepted
that she wasn't directly responsible for Walt's actions.  Just before he
went to sleep I pointed out that she was no more responsible for Walt's
actions than he was for mine or for any other person's actions.  I also
told him about the note I had asked the D.A. to give her, requesting that
she stop in and talk to us.  He was still thinking about that when he fell
asleep.
	Lee was once again in bed with us when I heard the alarm.  He and
Corey looked cute when they were waking up.  I almost told them that except
that Corey really hated being called cute.  He would accept it when I said
his ass was cute but he sure didn't like to be called cute.  Maybe it made
him think that I thought of him as a girl.  Lee, on the other hand, didn't
seem to mind when I said something like that to him.  He'd just give a
little grin and duck his head.  Sometimes he'd even blush a little.
	Chuck had the day off and was going furniture shopping.  He wanted
to know if he could use the pickup and let Rob use his rental car.  I told
them it was fine with me.  He wanted to go to Redding and check out some
used furniture.
	Things went reasonably well at school.  I set up some appointments
to tutor a couple of students that were having some problems in my class.
Always before I had done it at the students' home but with the boys now
living with me, I needed to do it at my home.  It really didn't work out
too badly.  I managed to get it set up so I could work with them right
after school and that would give me my evening free for the boys.  Always
before I had done it after dinner but this was even better.  Todd
Christensen and Gail Rogers were just a little behind and hopefully it
wouldn't take long to catch them up.  We were going to start with three
days this week and go from there.  I'd have them Wednesday, Thursday, and
Friday afternoons.  If that wasn't sufficient time, we would set up some
more appointments next week.  The neat thing was that I could drop them at
their homes when I went to pick up the boys.  That helped their parents
because they wouldn't have to furnish any rides.  I only had to talk with
the D.A. on the phone a couple of times.  Not only that, there were no real
problems with anything else.  Even Corey was starting to come out of his
funk.  He seemed more cheerful today.
	The rain had once again stopped and after I dropped the boys off at
Downies I ended up playing basketball with a bunch of the neighborhood
kids.  Boy, I'm out of shape.  The kids ranged in age from about eleven
through sixteen and they about wore me out.  When I was about to drop I
suggested some snacks and that is what saved me.  I didn't have to admit I
was bushed.  I could see I really needed to get back to exercising.  I'd
been so busy taking care of boys that I hadn't had time for my normal
workouts.
	I started dinner while visiting with the kids and about the time it
started to get dark, they all took off for home.  I could hear them talking
about having dinner.  Where they'd put it after the snack I had no idea but
I had faith in them.
	Chuck got home and was telling me all about the things he had found
and purchased for the house.  He was particularly thrilled that he'd
managed to find some pretty good living room furniture and a couple more
beds.  He still hadn't gotten all of it hauled back and wondered if it
would be permissible for Rob to use the pickup tomorrow to finish the job.
Of course I told him to consider it a done deal.
	Rob showed up with the boys and soon we were eating dinner.  Lee
was once again acting like he was worshiping Rob.  He watched him all the
time and grinned whenever there was anything the least bit funny said.  Rob
was laughing and telling us all about how Lee was slowly learning what it
was to cut meat.  It appeared that they were starting to bond.  I knew that
Lee had always been a little uncomfortable here because he felt he was an
outsider and couldn't compete with the other boys.  I'd tried to tell him
he was just as good as any of us but hadn't been entirely successful.
	We had dinner finished and the dishes in the dishwasher getting
clean when Judy showed up.  I stuck Rob, Lee, and Judy in the computer room
to talk.  They were in there for quite a while before Judy came out and
wanted to talk with me.  Her questions were about whether or not I thought
Rob was a good father.  In that I only had what I'd heard from Mr. Collins
and what I'd observed in the past few weeks to go on.  Everything I'd seen
told me he would be and everything I'd heard told me the same.  Sure, Rob
had made mistakes when his wife was dying but under that kind of pressure,
who wouldn't?  With all the bad things going on in his life perhaps one
should be surprised he had done as well as he had.  His kids seemed to love
him and his in-laws did the same.  I was constantly amazed at how gentle
and caring he was towards not only Lee, but to the rest of the boys.  When
we'd helped clean-up and paint the house he had gently criticized and
showed how to do things correctly.  In fact, the way he went about showing
all the boys how to do things was more like a teacher might.  He didn't try
to tear them down but showed them how to do things correctly, encouraging
while he did it.  It didn't take me long to tell Judy that I thought he
would make a great father for Lee and that if anything went wrong, I would
be more than happy to take him back.  In fact, I would miss him.  He was
slowly coming out of his shell and I really liked the boy that was
emerging.
	Judy sent Rob out and talked with Lee.  While Rob and I were
drinking some coffee I finally asked him why he was interested in Lee.
	"He's part of Betty.  How could I not love him?"
	"Do you think Derrick and Kathy will accept Lee?  I mean after all,
they just lost their mother and to have you start sharing your attention
with someone else might be hard for them."
	Rob seemed to think before he answered.  "I think they will.
There'll be a few problems but I don't see anything we can't work out.  The
worst thing is not being close to Dale and Jess.  They'll miss them and so
will I."
	After that the conversation trailed off.  We kicked around when to
have Derrick and Kathy sent out and a few other things.  I made sure to let
him know I was willing to help in anyway I could.  I got a smile for that.
	When Judy called us back into the computer room, Rob ruffled Lee's
hair while asking him if he'd made up his mind.  Judy was smiling so I was
pretty sure things were going well.
	Lee's first question was if he could call Rob dad.  Rob choked up
and had a hard time answering but when he finally got it out I'm sure Lee
knew he was more than welcome to do that.  We left Lee and Rob talking and
retired to the kitchen.  The rest of the boys were doing homework and Chuck
was watching television so we had it to ourselves.
	"I sure didn't think things would turn out this well when you
called me," Judy told me as I poured her some coffee.
	"Me either.  I was scared he would try to kill himself again.  I
just wish I'd recognized what was going on sooner.  I don't know how I
managed to miss that."
	"Don't feel bad Sam.  All the other teachers and everyone else
missed it too.  If anything I should have found it."
	We continued talking while drinking our coffee.  I filled her in on
how I thought JJ and LT were doing and once again asked her about a
counselor for them.  He answer surprised me.
	"Sam, I know all the shrinks that work with children in this area.
Trust me, you're doing more for them than any of those high priced head
doctors could.  What those kids need is love, understanding, and
acceptance.  They're getting it from you and I think that they will do
better with you than talking with a shrink.  Most people still think that
talking with psychiatrists is a sign that something is wrong with you.
Even though they are wrong, the stigma is still there.  Those boys have
enough problems without worrying about something like that.  You also need
to think how the other kids at school would react.  I think they'd be
teased over it.  That's wrong but that's the way I see it.  I've seen it
before and that is my professional judgment."  She paused and took another
sip of coffee before continuing.  "If you still think they need help in a
few more months, then we can talk some more but I don't think you give
yourself enough credit.  I look at them and see that they are making big
strides in accepting themselves.  That's all a shrink can do.  When I stop
at the store, they have big smiles and interact well with the customers.
When I talk with them, they seem happy.  Think back, how were they when
they first came to stay with you?  I think you are expecting too much.  It
always takes time for that kind of happening to be overcome.  I've got kids
that have been in placements for a couple of years that I wish were doing
as well as those boys are."
	Judy's words made me think.  She was right.  Both JJ and LT were
really starting to open up with me.  In fact, sometimes I wished they would
back off a little.  Anymore they were perfectly happy to roll their eyes at
me just like I remembered doing to my parents when I didn't like what they
were telling me.  After the big talk about sex they were more willing to
say things and ask questions.  Funny how that had worked out.  I guess the
fact that I had gotten mad and scared showed them that I wouldn't harm them
when I was upset.  After that they just seemed more comfortable around me
and sure didn't act like they did when they were first living with me.
Maybe Judy was right.  I hoped so.  When I thought about it, even JJ was
starting to act more like he had before the problems with his folks.
	About then Rob and Lee came out of the computer room.  Rob had his
arm across Lee's shoulder and both were smiling.  I guess that answered
that question.  Lee had the happiest look I had ever seen on his face.  He
positively beamed.  Rob's smile was only slightly smaller.  Seeing their
smiles made me grin back at them.  Before anyone could say anything LT came
in, whining about how stupid his homework assignment was.  I gave him a
couple of suggestions on how to get started on it and told him he was lucky
I wasn't teaching that course.  I'd make him do twice as much.  He was
still whining when he left and both Rob and Judy were grinning.  Lee headed
off to do his homework and Judy said she needed to get home.
	Billy came out of Corey's room with his homework.  After that I had
a steady stream of boys with homework to be checked.  When I had looked
over both Billy's and Larry's homework, they headed home.  I sent JJ back
to work a couple of his math problems over and got glared at for my
efforts.  Still, he went back and did the problems over.  Things were back
to normal.
	Lee's homework was the last one to check.  He had been delayed in
getting started on it because of Judy's visit.  Still, he was starting to
do better.  He had a long way to go but he was applying himself and it was
starting to show.  He might never be a good student but in just a couple of
weeks there was a noticeable improvement in his work.  When I told him how
proud I was of his efforts, his smile grew even bigger.  I wouldn't have
thought that was possible.
	The Gator was packed when I left school Wednesday afternoon.  I had
my usual four boys and when you added in Gail and Todd, that pretty well
filled it up.  Both Gail and Todd were known to all the boys except Lee and
he was still being pretty quiet.  That didn't slow the others down.  Poor
Lee couldn't have gotten a word in if he had wanted to.  The others would
have drowned him out.  I dropped the boys off at Downie's and headed home.
At first Gail was a little nervous about Dog but it didn't take long before
his big brown eyes won her over.  The neighborhood gang showed up to play
basketball but I managed to beg off because of tutoring duties.  Unless I
got myself in better shape I might have to schedule tutoring for the rest
of the year.
	The tutoring didn't go like I had planned.  Todd only had one
problem.  I hadn't realized what it was and as soon as I pointed out and
explained what he was doing wrong, he no longer needed help.  Gail, on the
other hand, had a bigger problem than I had realized.  In fact, I had no
idea how she had managed to get by this long.  That really surprised me
because she was a better student than he was.  I sent Todd out to play
basketball and tried to find out how she had managed to get this far
without understanding what she was doing.  I was wondering if some student
was allowing her to copy work but I finally figured out her father had been
helping her.  The only problem was that he had not managed to explain what
he was doing and why he was doing it that way.  Now I had another problem.
	It was school policy that no student, by himself, could be in a
teacher's house without another adult present.  With two students it was
acceptable.  I was skating on the bare edge by sending Todd out to play
ball.  Things would have been fine if Todd had needed more help but since
his problem had been easy to solve, that left me with a student needing
help and no other adult around.  If it rained, the basketball players would
stay home.  While I worked with her, I tried to figure out a good solution.
We made a little progress on her problems but by the time I took her home I
could see she needed about a week's worth the help.
	Todd's house was further away than Gail's and so I stopped at her
house first.  Her folks weren't home yet so I couldn't talk with them.  I
would have to call them after dinner.  I dropped Todd off and headed over
to Downies.  The store was still pretty busy so the boys were working and I
picked up a few items while they finished up.  Rob said he and Chuck would
be home in a half hour or so and that would give me just about enough time
to finish dinner.  Rob had gotten all the new furnishings hauled and
stopped in to help.  Since he was there, they had decided to get ahead on a
few things and that had taken longer than they had planned.  Mr. Downie was
beaming.  He got me aside and told me how well things were going.
Construction would start on the new smokehouse next week, weather
permitting.
	I got the boys home and they started on their homework while I
finished dinner.  Chuck and Rob got home just as it was completed.  The
stew took a major hit.  The boys had missed their snack and made up for it.
The rest of us pigged out also.  The Zinfandel I served with it was good
and when it was over, I was full and happy.  Even the boys looked happy.
Dog ate enough stew that he didn't even look at his dish.  However I had to
put my foot down.  When Corey grinned at me and told me Dog needed some
wine I told him I refused to have a drunken dog around.  I made a big
production of it and all of us were laughing by the time it was over.  I
knew Corey had no plans to get Dog drunk but thought tonight was a good
time to have a little fun so I played along with it.  Billy and Larry
looked like they thought we were nuts.  Corey insisted that Dog needed his
vitamins.  I asked him which ones he needed and got the answer of vitamin
2P and frolic acid.  I told him that Dog already had his territory marked
so the 2P was out and so far he seemed active enough that frolic acid
wasn't needed.  Then we had to take time to explain to Billy and Larry what
the joke was.  As we were all giggling about the joke, Dog barked a couple
of times, almost like he understood what was funny.  I'm not sure if I
should take Dog or myself to the shrink.
	While the boys were cleaning up the kitchen I called the Rodgers.
Setting up the tutoring lessons was more complicated than I had figured it
would be.  First I had to tell them about the rules and then convince them
that I wasn't about to break them.  You can't believe how hard it was to
convince them that the rules were there for not only Gail's protection but
the protection of all the students and teachers.  Then I had to be pretty
diplomatic when mentioning that there had been cases, in other districts,
where a student who was mad over a grade had made false charges against a
teacher.  I had to make sure they realized that I was sure Gail would not
do something like that.  However the threat that this posed had caused the
district's insurance company to demand this rule.  They kept telling me
they trusted me and I had a horrible time convincing them that this was a
rule I had to keep.  It took a while but they were finally forced to
understand that I wasn't going to bend on this rule.  Then Gail had some
things scheduled for the evenings and before it was all said and done, they
talked me into having Gail's grandmother come over to watch over the
lesson.  The lesson would still be in the afternoon right after school but
could only be on Thursdays, Mondays, and Tuesdays.  The Rodgers said it was
a little late to set up things for tomorrow and we could start next Monday.
It could have been worse.  At least Gail's grandmother would haul her home.
The downside to that was that Gail's grandmother belonged to
Rev. Langston's church.  While the Rogers assured me that Mrs. Darling
didn't believe those things about me, I was still a little worried.  In
fact, Mrs. Darling had made the whole thing awkward to talk about.  I'd had
to be extra careful to make sure they didn't think that I thought they were
out to get me.  If both of us could have just laid all the cards on the
table without anyone getting mad, the whole thing would have taken about
two minutes.  As it was we spent about twenty minutes dancing around,
trying not to offend the each other.  I'd say it was an awful waste of time
except neither of us seemed upset when it was over.
	Then we all went over to Chuck's and Rob's new house.  There were a
bunch of beds that needed to be packed upstairs and set up and some things
moved around in the house.  By the time all that was done the boys just
barely had time to get their homework done before it was bedtime.  Somehow
it just never seemed like there was enough time for everything.
	Corey wanted to talk when we got to bed.  He had finally started to
accept the fact that he was not responsible for his mother's actions.
Still, he couldn't understand those actions.  As I held him and talked with
him, he just seemed sad about the whole thing.  His mother had taken off as
soon as she got out of jail.  Since she hadn't seen the actual fight, they
had finally dropped all charges and never even demanded that she stay
around for any more questioning.  I was left trying to convince him that
she probably felt ashamed and was afraid to face him.  That sounded pretty
lame to me and I'm sure it sounded the same to Corey.  Still, I didn't have
any other explanation of why she would leave without seeing him.  For that
matter, I wondered if I was right.  Maybe he was correct when he said he
wasn't sure she loved him anymore.  Her abandonment of him, even though he
was in my care, made me wonder if he had just become an inconvenience to
her.  I probably would have believed that except for the way she had shown
him love when he was young.  Everything he had told me about his early
memories made me think she loved him and that it was just when she had
started with the drug problem that things had started to go wrong.  She
never even stopped by to get the picture album that Corey had gotten her
for her birthday.  We talked about it until he fell asleep with his head on
my chest.
	Corey was no more than asleep when Lee joined us.  He also wanted
to talk.  We spent about an hour whispering back and forth before he was
ready to sleep.  He was worried about how things would go when he started
living with Rob.  I assured him he would always be welcome with me and that
Rob appeared to like him.  I also told him that we would still see each
other almost every day and that he could always talk with Judy if he didn't
like the way things were going.  By the time he was ready to doze off he
seemed to accept the fact that there were several people that would be
looking out for him and if there were any problems, we would all try to
help.  Once again I was wedged between two boys, one with his head on my
chest and the other tight against my side.  One I loved deeply and the
other I really liked and hoped his life would be better.  Still, life had
been a lot simpler before they had all come into it.  However, now it was a
lot more rewarding.  Not only was I teaching, I was making a big impact on
several lives.  I just hoped that what I was doing would have good results
for them.
	We were all talking during breakfast when the subject of Kathy and
Derrick came up.  The problem was how and when to get them out here.  I
pointed out he still had the return part of his plane ticket out and he
could fly back and drive his car out with the kids.  He wasn't too thrilled
with that idea because the car was old and he didn't really trust it.  As
we kicked it around I finally suggested that he could probably trade the
ticket in and with a little more money, get tickets so the kids could fly
out.  That would require that the Collins take them to the airport and ship
whatever they couldn't bring on the flight.  He would also have to acquire
another car and have the Collins get rid of his car.  Then there was
Chuck's car.  Chuck said that would be no problem because he knew of a sale
for his car and his folks would be willing to ship his things out.  I left
them talking about it when I left for school.
	I once again got roped into playing basketball when I got home.
I'm not sure if they really wanted me to play or if they just thought it
would be a good way to get some snacks but either way they wore me out.
Fred and Mike were in the crowd and they seemed to take great delight in
running into me and making it difficult for me to score.  They soon had all
the rest treating me the same.  By the time we gave up for snacks, I was
bruised but unbowed.  I will have to admit that they didn't look much
better.  We all kidded each other while they wolfed down their snacks and I
started dinner.  I hadn't realized that basketball was supposed to be a
contact sport.
	While the kids were doing their homework after dinner, Rob and
Chuck about wore the phone out.  In fact, it's a good thing I had two lines
because they used both of them.  I'd had another hooked up when LT and JJ
came to live with me and tonight they both got a workout.
	Chuck didn't have any trouble selling his car and his folks agreed
to ship his clothes and things out.  He also called a bunch of his friends
and made arrangement to have his apartment cleaned out.  That kept one line
busy for most of the evening.  Then there was Rob.
	Dale and Jess agreed to send the kids' things out, U.P.S. of
course.  I guess the fact that Mr. Collins worked there made it the logical
choice.  Surprisingly enough Delta would exchange the remaining part of his
ticket for two tickets for the kids without all that much more money.  Of
course the kids wouldn't be flying first class but he was thrilled that the
fare wouldn't be as much as he had thought it might be.  Not only that, he
could get them on a Sunday morning flight and pick them up in Oakland in
the afternoon.  By the time it was bed time things seemed to be under
control.  This weekend was going to be fouled up because they were going to
move in to their new house and still had to pick up Kathy and Derrick.
Then there was the problem of cars.  I suggested that they could check with
Jim at Jim's Auto and see if he had anything for sale.  If not, they would
just have to find what they could.  Jim had a good reputation and I'd
bought Mrs. Babcock's car there.  So far it was doing well even if she
wasn't.
	Talking about cars brought up another thing.  I'd been thinking
about trading the little Ranger in on a full sized pickup.  I liked the
Gator and the fact that I sat higher in the air.  I could see traffic
better and a full sized pickup would be the same.  I'd even stopped and
looked at a crew cab pickup.  It was huge.  I mean it was really big.  It
was also long.  There was seating for six and it was almost as nice as the
Gator inside.  Rob knew about my doing that and asked if I would be willing
to sell him the Ranger.  While it had a lot of miles on it, I'd taken care
of it and it was in good shape for its age.  The more I thought about it,
the better the whole idea sounded.  The jump seats weren't that comfortable
but he could get by with it for a while and the price would be low enough
for him to handle buying it.  He was still very short of money.  The dealer
said he'd give me about $1200 dollars for it and I knew he really didn't
want it.  In fact, he had suggested I try to sell it myself for $1600 to
$1700.  The only problem was that I hadn't really decided to buy the full
sized pickup.  I told Rob to give me a few days to think about it.  In the
meantime, go ahead and use it.  I wasn't sure what kind of price I could
get on the pickup I'd looked at but the list had been right at $45,000.  I
wasn't sure I was willing to spend that much for a vehicle I really didn't
need.  Still, a full size pickup would be handy.  Not only that, I knew
where there was a pretty nice travel trailer and maybe it would be nice to
have during the summer so the boys and I could go traveling.  I'd been busy
every summer since I got out of school, taking some extra classes, and this
year I hadn't been planning anything.
	The boys were all in bed by the time Rob and I finished talking.
Corey seemed to find his position as soon as I joined him but Lee never
showed up.  He was having fewer nightmares and I was thrilled.  Corey was
cheering up and hopefully he would soon be back to his usual self.

		To be continued...