Date: Sat, 09 Apr 2005 22:00:02 -0700
From: fritz@nehalemtel.net
Subject: I love Corey, Chapter Fifty-two

	Why is it that as soon as one chapter is done I have to write
another of these warnings?  I mean after all, can't those of you who browse
these pages remember?  Then I stop and think about how long my memory
lasts.  With that in mind, here goes.
	Those of you who are lucky enough to have not yet attained the age
of majority, leave.  I know you think it funny that you can lurk in places
like this but still, you might be corrupted from doing so.  Since I don't
want your corruption on my conscience, all I can do is ask you to leave and
never admit you were here.  My conscience feels lighter already.
	To those of you who are homophobes, why are you here?  I mean if
the thoughts of gay sex are so repulsive, why do you seek out sites that
might have it?  Me thinks there be something thou aren't telling us.  Could
it be that thee be secretly turned on by such vile, despicable things as
this here story?  Tell you what, if you truly are offended, leave, but if
stories like this secretly turn you on, stick around.  I'll understand if
you need to trash the story to protect yourself.  I'll even accept that you
were doing research to see what evil lurked in cyberspace.
	We are down to the sad part of the warning.  Sorry but I must ask
those of you, who live in an area where the reading of stories like this is
against the law, to leave.  Believe me, I didn't make the law and if it
were within my power I would have such a stupid law overturned but sadly I
lack such power.  You, on the other hand, can unite to get such laws, which
fly in the face of free speech, overturned.  You must be willing to fight
for your freedoms.  Failure to do so will result in the loss of those
freedoms.  Get off your lazy posteriors and get to work.
	Once again I must remind you that the story is not based on any
actual happening or any real people.  If you think you see any such
resemblance, it was unintentional.
	Please do not post this story on another site without asking for
and receiving permission from me.  After all, it is my property and I don't
go around stealing your property.  Also remember that when using quotes
from something, you should attribute such quotes to the original author.
Other than that, you are free to read and I hope enjoy the story.  Well, I
would like you to share any fortune you might make from the story with me.
Sharing is good, particularly when it is with me.
	Ernie has been busy, looking for errors.  If I get all of his
corrections in, the story should be almost error free.  You owe him a big
thank you.
	We're almost done so hang in there.  Feel free to write and let me
know if you liked the story.  Let me know if you didn't like the story.
You can even ask questions about the story or offer suggestions on how you
think it might be improved.  Send such emails to fritz@nehalemtel.net and
I'll try to answer them.  Be sure to put I Love Corey in the subject line
of the email so I don't delete it.  I hope you enjoy the following chapter.
Fritz

****************************************************************************

		      I Love Corey, Chapter Fifty-two

	Friday went past so fast I didn't even notice it.  Saturday I
noticed.  I couldn't believe there were so many things that had to be done
to get Rob and Chuck set up to live in their place.  The fact that Chuck
had to work wasn't that big a factor but the lack of money was.  I finally
just gave up and went to Costco.  There was one in Redding so it was only a
little over a half hour drive to it.  They needed dishes, cooking utensils,
bedding, and a whole host of other things.  On the way there I remembered a
second hand or antique shop so we stopped there first.  Rob had the pickup
and the rest of us were in the Gator.  A quick look around and we lucked
out.  There was a fairly nice set of China and the price was only
seventy-five dollars.  It included some serving bowls and that was a help.
Looking around turned up some more serving pieces but no acceptable
flatware.  On to Costco.
	Flatware was easy.  We managed to come up with some cookware.
Costco even had part of the needed bedding.  We spent some more time
finding the rest of the needed bedding and looking for things like lamps
and other furnishings that would be needed to make things livable.  By the
time we headed home the pickup was full and there were even a few things in
the Gator.  After we had dropped them off, it was on to pick up a few items
some of my friends had offered to donate.  Things like a dinning table and
a few chairs for the living room.  They still needed lots of things but at
least they could get by until they could afford them.
	By the time all that was done, it was almost dinner time.  The
weather was pretty decent so I decided to fire the barbeque up and fix
burgers.  About the only thing we still had to do was move Lee's things.
He had managed to acquire more than I had realized.  His clothes and the
Christmas presents made a pretty respectable pile.  I even got rid of the
old television set that I'd kept when I got the new high definition one a
couple of years ago.  They would only have Lee's laptop for a computer and
would have to share it but that was better than nothing.  It was the same
model Sony that the rest of the boys had and was only two weeks old.  I
showed him how to set up separate accounts for every user.  The wireless
part wouldn't work at his house but it had a modem for a phone line.  They
would have to set up their own I.S.P. account because I was on the cable.
Everyone was bushed by the time we finally made it to bed.
	It seemed like I was no more in bed than Lee showed up.  He wanted
to talk some more.  His worries were about Rob.  He was concerned that he
might disappoint him or anger him.  Then what would he do?  I tried to
point out that Judy and I would make sure he always had a place to live and
someone to watch out for him until he was grown.  The problem was he had
been beaten down so badly by his father that he couldn't see that he
deserved to be loved and that he was a nice young man.  All he could see
was what his father had kept telling which was he was nothing, and worth
nothing.  I think he was just scared.  He had finally found somewhere that
he wasn't abused and he was afraid to leave.  All I could do was to keep
telling him he would always be welcome and that he didn't have to worry
about any abuse.  If something like that happened, all he had to do was get
in touch with either Judy or me and we would see that he no longer had to
suffer it.
	He was also worried that Derrick and Kathy might not like him.  I
pointed out that they had seemed to like him when we were in Kentucky but
no matter what I said, he didn't seem to hear or believe me.
	Yet mixed in with all that was excitement.  He was scared but
looking forward to living with his step-father.  One minute he would be
sniffling about what could go wrong and the next he would be telling me how
he was looking forward to living with Rob.  I wonder if that is how a bride
or groom feels?  Scared that things will go wrong but looking forward to it
all the same.  Afraid of disappointing the other people involved but eager
to try to see how things would go.  After an hour or so, of whispering back
and forth, he finally fell asleep.  I was left hoping that things would
work out well for him.  If they didn't, well he could always live with me.
By now he had me worried, not because anything would happen to him, but
because I didn't want him to have to suffer any more disappointments.  His
life had been so filled with pain that he needed things to work out in a
manner that didn't include any more such pain.  He just needed to be loved
and accepted and given a chance to be himself without worrying about
someone beating on him or punishing him.
	For some reason I didn't sleep all that well.  I kept waking up and
dozing back off.  Finally I needed to relieve myself and it was getting
somewhat close to time to get up.  I managed to get out from between Corey
and Lee and made it to the bathroom.  A few minutes later I decided I
really needed some coffee.  Maybe I could even get the paper read before
everyone woke up and wanted breakfast.
	Rob was sitting at the table with a cup of coffee when I got there.
He didn't look at me but just continued to stare at his coffee as I
shuffled over to the dishwasher to get my cup.  I had just gotten it out
and was headed for the coffee pot when he spoke.
	"I checked on Lee this morning.  He wasn't in his bedroom."  The
way he said that sounded more like an accusation than a comment.  It's
probably a good thing I was still half asleep and that Newton's law still
worked because I probably would have fallen down if not.  My inertia kept
me heading for the coffee pot and my mind wasn't up to speed enough to
cause me to do anything else except keep going.  My mind was racing while I
poured the coffee, got an ice cube to cool it enough to drink, and finally
turned to face him.
	"I know.  He crawled in bed with me last night.  He needed to
talk."  My mind was in a whirl, trying to figure out just how to handle
this.
	"I saw that.  Corey was with him."  Something about the tone of his
voice didn't make me feel good about this whole conversation.
	"So?" I asked.
	"What's going on?  What kind of child am I getting?"  With that he
finally looked at me.  It wasn't a friendly look.
	"What do you mean?  You're getting a son that needs a family."
	"You know what I mean.  What's going on?"
	By now my mind was starting to work.  His words pissed me off.  He
was making accusations and had no idea what he was talking about with
regards to Lee.  Not only that, I had gone out of my way to try to help
him.
	"Fine.  When it's a little later we can call Mrs. Smelling and you
can tell her what you're talking about.  Then she can start working on a
permanent placement for him," I told him while glaring at him.  "I suspect
it will be with me but that's her decision.  You can bet it won't be with
you as long as you feel that way about him."
	"How do you know how I feel about him?"
	"Because you asked a question that seems to indicate you think
something is going on and the tone of your voice says you disapprove.  You
sound hostile about him and she won't put him in that kind of an
environment.  If I'm reading you wrong, maybe you ought to explain why."
	"Well what am I supposed to think when I see him in bed with you?"
	"Let me see.  I guess that means that Derrick and Kathy have never
crawled in bed with you when they were upset.  That also means you never
did the same when you were young.  When Betty was sick, your kids didn't
turn to you when they were scared and couldn't sleep.  When you were young,
you didn't turn to your parents when you were scared and couldn't sleep.
When a big storm or something happened, you just stayed in your bed and
cried by yourself.  Your kids did the same.  Sorry, I don't buy that."
	Rob flushed.  "That isn't what I meant."
	"Oh, what did you mean?  Did I totally misunderstand you?  The way
you put it sounded more like some kind of accusation, an accusation that
something was going on between Lee and me."
	"Well you have to admit it looks fishy."  When he said that he had
a satisfied smirk on his face.
	"Fine, then any time a child crawls in bed with his parents when he
is scared, it looks quote, Fishy, unquote.  How many fishy experiences have
you got to explain?"
	"I don't have to explain anything."
	"No Rob, you don't.  Neither do I, and I certainly won't when you
take that kind of an attitude."  With that I walked out of the kitchen and
went to the family room.  I tried to drink my coffee but my stomach was
churning and it didn't seem to go down very well.  I was still sitting
there, staring at my cold coffee, when I head some stirring.  A couple of
minutes later I saw Lee and Corey head for the kitchen.  A minute or so
later they both joined me in the family room.  They wanted to know what was
going on but I wasn't willing to talk about it.  When JJ and LT finally
woke up, I fixed breakfast.  The meal was eaten in silence.
	After breakfast I handed Rob the phone and told him to call Judy.
I even pointed out that all he had to do was push talk, flash, and four.
	"Can we talk about this?"  His voice was a lot more conciliatory
than it had been earlier this morning.
	"What's to talk about?  You seemed to have your mind made up this
morning.  What's changed?"  I was still pissed and wasn't willing to back
up one inch.  "You were willing to think the worst of both Lee and me
without any evidence.  Why would you change your mind?  Go on, tell me
what's changed.  What have you learned that could possibly change your
mind?"  The sarcasm dripping off my words could not be missed, even by the
boys.  They were all looking at us in dead silence with a look of fear on
their faces.
	"Maybe I was a little out of line..."
	"No, you were a lot out of line.  You jumped to conclusions without
a shred of evidence.  Then you didn't even show very good manners.  You owe
Lee an apology for even thinking that about him.  How would you like it if
I thought things like that about you and your children?  Would you be mad?
I know I am.  Go ahead and call.  We can let Judy sort it out."
	"Look, I'm sorry.  I made a mistake."
	"Go ahead and call.  You haven't got that much time before you have
to leave to pick up your children at the airport."
	"What's the matter?  You can't accept an apology?"
	I took a deep breath.  "It has nothing to do with whether or not I
can accept an apology.  What is has to do with is that you jump to
conclusions.  That and if you are a good parent.  I'm still too mad to
think about it rationally.  That's why I want Judy to sort it out.  All I
can think about is if you would do the same thing to your children or Lee.
Is that a good environment for him, or for that matter your children?  You
made a mistake once.  Will you do it again with Lee when I'm not handy to
stop it?  That's what the problem is.  That's why I think you should call
Judy and let her sort it all out.  I'm too involved in the situation to
judge it fairly."
	He was glaring at me until that last statement.  All of a sudden it
was like he suddenly realized what he had done.
	"Oh God, I'm sorry."
	"Sorry doesn't cut it Rob.  Not unless you can assure Judy that it
won't happen again."  I took another deep breath and tried to calm down.
"Look, Lee's had a pretty bad life.  Can you honestly say you won't react
this way in the future?  He needs love and understanding and you didn't
seem willing to find out what was actually going on.  You just assumed the
worst.  You don't know me that well and you don't know Lee much better.
Why should I think you won't do the same thing again?  So far in our brief
acquaintance you have assaulted me and accused me of having some kind of
illegal goings on with Lee.  Neither has been justified.  If you react that
way twice in such a short period of time, why should I think you are going
to do better with Lee in the future?  I'm sure as hell not perfect by a
long ways.  Still, I at least try to find out what is going on before I do
something.  You didn't.  You just assumed the only reason we showed up was
to try to get some of your wife's property.  Then you now assume that
something is going on.  All you had to do in either case was ask.  I
forgave you once.  I'm not sure I'm willing to do so twice.  Now call."
	Rob stared at the phone like it was a poisonous snake before
sliding it back across the table towards me.  I gave up and picked it up
and called.  Judy was working on a case and would be busy until this
evening.  She promised to come over sometime this evening.
	"Well, you have until this evening to figure out what to say.  In
the meantime you better get ready and go pick up your children," I told
him.  With that I went looking for the boys who had disappeared a few
minutes ago.
	I found them huddled in the family room.  Lee was extremely upset
over the happenings this morning.  I couldn't really blame him because
those happenings would probably affect his future.  Trying to calm him down
took almost until it was time to leave for church.  I was just depressed.
I had thought that things were moving forward and now I had no idea what
would happen.  All we could do was wait and see what Judy thought of the
situation.  Maybe I was reading too much into it but Rob's actions had me
worried about letting Lee live with him.  Still, Lee desperately wanted a
family.  If at all possible he would be better off with someone he thought
of as family.  While I was pretty sure he liked me, I was in no way related
to him and would never be able to fill that particular need for him.
	After church no one wanted to shoot.  By now all of us were
somewhat depressed.  The boys were quiet and just moped around the house.
They didn't play games or do much of anything.  They just spent the rest of
the day being quiet in front of the television.  I tried to cheer them up
but nothing I could come up with seemed to do any good.  It might have
helped if I could have cheered myself up.
	Rob showed up just after six and told me he was taking Kathy and
Derrick over to get them settled.  Two minutes later he was gone.  I
finished cooking dinner but the boys didn't eat their normal amounts.  They
didn't even seem to care about the ice cream I had made.  When they turned
down food, they had to be really upset.  No matter what I said or did, they
just continued to mope around the house.
	Judy called and told me she would be over in about fifteen minutes
so I called Rob and told him.  He showed up about five minutes before Judy.
We spent those five minutes silently eyeing each other.  When Judy showed
up we went into the computer room and closed the door so the boys wouldn't
be able to hear all that was said.
	Judy looked tired.  Somehow I figured she had put in a rough day
but since Lee had been scheduled to start living with Rob, this was
something that had to be settled right away.  When she asked what was
happening, I just pointed at Rob and told him to tell her.  I'll give him
credit; he told it just like it had happened.  He didn't make any effort to
try to make himself look good.  It was apparent that he had spent a lot of
the day thinking about what had happened.  I didn't have much to add to his
recollection of the events in the morning but did tell Judy what had
brought Lee to my bed.  I even told them about his fears and how I had
tried to answer them.  After I finished she sent Rob and me out and called
Lee in and talked to him.  That took about forty-five minutes.  Then Rob
and I were called back in.
	When she asked me why I was concerned, I explained that I was
worried that Rob might jump to conclusions over something regarding Lee and
I thought that Lee needed a real effort to be understood.  He had been
exposed to so much brutal behavior that his self-esteem was lacking and it
was going to take a lot of work to help him.  While it wasn't that I
thought he wouldn't need any discipline, a person was going to have to be
very careful to make sure that it was justified and that he understood why
he needed such corrections.  Whoever ended up with him was going to have to
walk a very tight line so that he knew what the rules were and why they
were there.  It was my contention that any arbitrary actions could spoil
things.  He desperately needed to find people he could trust and love.  If
someone didn't take the time to learn the facts and explain things to him,
I was afraid that he would never learn to trust anyone.
	Then she talked with Lee some more.  I finally sent the rest of the
boys to bed as it was getting late.  After another talk with Rob and me,
she finally decided to take a few days to think about things.  However, she
did take time to chew on Rob.  By the time she was done I think he needed a
new backside.  She never used any foul words but got her point across very
well.  When she finished chewing on him, she sent him home.
	After that, she suggested that Lee go to bed.  When he left she
started in on me.  She wanted to know if I was still willing to raise him.
When I told her I was, she said she needed to think about things for a
while.  She also pointed out that she wished I had handled things better
but after we talked about it for a while, we were both forced to admit that
neither of us had any idea of how that could have been done, given the
circumstances.  If he had just asked, I could have probably answered and
made him understand why Lee had been in my bed.  His accusation had been
made in a manner that indicated he probably wouldn't have believed me no
matter what I had said.  Not only that, I was still a little vexed that he
had felt it was permissible to open my bedroom door without knocking.
	Monday sucked.  There is no other way to describe it.  Lee was
still depressed and I wasn't much better.  With the two of us not saying
much, the other boys were pretty quiet also.  That made for a gloomy
atmosphere.  I dropped the boys off at Downie's after school and hurried
home for Gail and Mrs. Darling.
	Gail's parents had assured me that Mrs. Darling didn't believe the
things Rev. Langston had said about me but you couldn't prove that by her
actions.  She watched me like a hawk.  Understand, I sort of expected she
might listen carefully while I was trying to explain things to Gail but the
facial expressions she used when I was close to Gail were enough to make me
nervous.  A couple of times I reached over Gail's shoulder and pointed to a
mistake she was making and when I'd glance up, you could almost sense hate
in Mrs. Darlings expression.  I was already nervous and upset about Lee and
I really didn't need anything to add to that.  When the lesson was finally
over and they left, I felt like I had gone ten rounds with a heavyweight
champion and lost.  The tension had about sapped any energy that I might
have had out of me.  When you added in that I still had Tuesday and
Thursday to look forward to, it just didn't do much to improve my outlook.
Also, the fact that I was pretty sure that this week wouldn't be enough to
catch Gail back up added to that feeling.
	I started a big batch of Potatoes Au Gratin and left to get the
boys.  We would also have some Bockwurst, green beans, a carrot and apple
salad, and biscuits for dinner.  I wondered if Dog liked Bockwurst.  He
ought to.  After all, it is just a German sausage and is not even that
highly spiced.  I liked a little hot mustard on them after they had been
grilled.  I had been happy to find them in the meat case again.  When I
thought about it, they had been missing for quite a while.  I just hadn't
noticed it.
	Dog definitely liked Bockwurst.  He wasn't fond of the hot mustard
on them but the Bockwurst itself was a real hit with him.  The boys ate
their share of them also.
	Lee was still pretty glum but I didn't know any way to help him.
Judy had not called so I had no idea of what was going on.  All we could do
was wait and see.  For some reason none of the boys had much homework.
They ended up playing some video games until bedtime.  They went into the
computer room because the nineteen inch monitor was a little better for
that than the ones on their laptops.  I could hear them talking and
giggling while I finished my grading and lesson plans.  I finished up and
looked in just in time to see Lee crash his race car.  The other boys were
giggling and telling him they were glad they didn't have to ride with him.
	When they looked up and saw me, nothing would do but that I had to
try the game.  Boy, it didn't take long to convince me that I was no race
car driver.  I crashed and burned before I ever got up to speed.  Any one
of the boys could whip me with only one eye open and I wasn't sure that
they would need to have any eyes open.  I decided to show them.  I dug
through my stuff and came up with a game that had been popular when I was
in school.  I cleaned their clocks.  The graphics weren't much but I had
played it with my friends when I was in high school.  We thought it was
cool back then.
	I suppose it's silly but playing those video games seemed to
lighten the mood.  We even spent a few minutes kicking the subject of Rob
around.  Not having heard from Judy meant that there was nothing new to
discuss but Lee did mention that he had not helped Rob while he was at work
this afternoon.  In fact, he had asked Mrs. Downie if he could do something
else.  I got the impression that he was a little uncomfortable around him
now.  That didn't bode well for his living with Rob.  Unless they could
work that out, things didn't look good on that front.  I was left with only
one thing to tell him and that was to wait and see what Judy came up with.
I still wasn't willing to totally write Rob off but I was close to it.
Still, it had taken me quite a while to get over the death of my parents.
Maybe I was expecting too much from him at this time.
	When I got to bed, the lightening of the mood really showed up.
For the first time Corey was willing to bring up the subject of his mother.
Not only that, he wasn't crying.  We talked about the fact that she had
again left town with no warning.  All I could offer him was that maybe she
was ashamed to see him right after what had happened.  We knew she had left
right after the hearing but had no idea of where she had gone.  I suppose
the police had an address at which she could be reached but I hadn't asked
them for it.  The subject was depressing but Corey seemed to be coming to
terms with it.  I had spent a lot of time trying to convince him that her
absence was probably not the result of her lack of love for him but more
likely that she was ashamed to admit she had a drug problem.  I wasn't sure
that was the right thing to do but I didn't have any better ideas and there
were too many things that told me she had once loved him.  If I started
from that fact, I didn't see much other explanation.  Corey finally sighed,
gave me a kiss and curled up in his favorite position and went to sleep.
Lying there, with the smell of his hair to comfort me, I could only hope
that he would soon regain his cheerful attitude.  Having him unhappy made
me unhappy.  He was hurting and I couldn't seem to stop it.  I fell asleep
wondering if I was a failure.  No matter how hard I tried, we just kept
getting into situations where he was sad and depressed.  While the
situations seemed out of my control, maybe if he was somewhere else they
wouldn't have occurred.
	Tuesday's tutoring was even worse.  Mrs. Darling made several
comments that I probably should have taken issue with but I ignored them in
an effort to not rock the boat.  Rev. Langston was out on bail and still
preaching his hate, although no longer at his old church.  They had decided
they didn't want to be associated with him and he had now started a new
church called Redemption.  It met in someone's house and only had about
twenty worshipers but those worshipers were the hard core bigots.  I just
wished the trial would get over and the whole thing could be put behind me.
Sometimes the courts move so slowly that one is forced to wonder if they
ever get anything done.  The last I had heard was that the trial was
scheduled for April.  Apparently Mrs. Darling was still attending his
services and she must have talked to him last night.  Poor Gail was caught
in the middle.  I could see her cringe every time Mrs. Darling made one of
her stupid, narrow-minded remarks.  Two-thirds of the way through the
lesson Gail was no longer able to concentrate on the lesson.  She was close
to tears.  I could see I was going to have to come up with another idea.
If things continued the way they were going, the whole thing would be a
waste of time for both Gail and me.  After they left I got dinner started
and picked up the boys.
	At least the boys were doing better this evening.  Even Lee was
starting to cheer up a little.  After dinner I was about to call Judy when
she called me.  After finding out we would be home she asked if she could
come over for a few minutes.
	She and Lee disappeared into the computer room and I continued my
lesson plans at the kitchen table.  I was just about done when Gail's
father called.  Since I still hadn't figured out what to do, the
conversation presented some problems.  Gail had apparently told him what
her Grandmother was doing and he wasn't happy about it.  I told him I could
stand it if Gail could but he didn't think that was a good idea.  We were
discussing what would work when Judy came out and asked me if I could join
them for a few minutes.  I told Mr. Rogers that I would call him back in a
few minutes.
	Judy filled me in on what had been happening.  She had talked with
Rob both yesterday and today.  She had also spent some time talking with
Kathy and Derrick.  Her recommendation was that if Lee still thought he
might like living with Rob, he should give it a try.  She assured him that
he could call her and she would help with any problems that came up.  Judy
had Rob studying some parenting manuals that dealt with how to handle
children and on anger management and she thought that with a little help he
would be a good father for Lee.  Judy's asking me if I would help Rob
surprised me.  I thought about it for a few seconds and agreed.  Lee's face
lit up when I did that.  Judy chased Lee out to repack his clothes and went
on to explain what she wanted me to do.  Basically I was to explain to Rob
what I knew about Lee and how I thought Lee needed help.  After that, if
Rob had questions, he could call either Judy or me.  It really didn't sound
like it amounted to much and I wasn't sure I would be that much help but
hopefully it would work out well for Lee.  Lee showed up with his clothes
and was ready to leave.  I told him to just show up like normal after
school and I would drop him off at Downie's to work.  Suddenly he looked
hesitant.  Finally he just gave me a big hug and piled into Judy's car.
The fact that he'd whispered thank you, I love you made my good-by sound a
little strange.  The lump in my throat made it hard to speak.  He hadn't
lived with me very long but I had become attached to him.
	The boys were curious when I went back in the house but I put them
off until I called Mr. Rogers.  We didn't come up with a solution but I
told him we would cancel the lesson for Thursday and I'd get in touch with
him as soon as I figured something out that would work for scheduling.  He
sounded furious with his mother-in-law.
	After checking the homework, we spent the rest of the evening
talking about Rob and Lee.  Well, we talked about a lot of things that
stemmed from it but you know how it is.  You start on one subject and
others seem to get drawn in.  The one thing I really stressed was that if
they thought I was doing something because I didn't understand the
situation, let me know.  I promised them I would try to make sure I knew
what was going on before I disciplined them and that they should never be
afraid to ask me for an explanation.  So far we had always managed to agree
on acceptable behavior but I was sure that there would be times we did not.
The few disagreements we had encountered so far had been cleared up with
some discussion on the subject.  While they hadn't always liked my
decisions, at least they understood the reasons for them.  If we continued
that way, things should work out all right.
	Even though we didn't have to worry about Lee, Corey was still not
in the mood to make love.  He just wanted to curl up against me and talk.
As I tried to comfort him for the umpteenth time over his mother's not even
saying good-by, I couldn't help but wonder if she had any idea of how much
pain she was causing him.  Although he seemed to be coming out of it, every
time something like this happened it seemed to set him back.  His daily
grades had dropped for the last few days and he didn't seem to care.  I'd
noticed a few errors in his homework that normally wouldn't have occurred.
One thing Judy had told us was that Walt was being extradited to Nevada to
face the murder charge.  Depending on what happened, he might be brought
back and charged with attempted murder here.  Well, there were a bunch more
charges like extortion and possession of drugs but the attempted murder was
the main charge.  I suppose I should include attempted armed robbery.  In
fact there were so many charges I couldn't believe they could all stem from
one incident.  Reading the charges one would think there had been a year
long crime spree going on.
	Sometime in the middle of the night I woke up.  Corey was thrusting
against me, making some soft incoherent sounds.  By the time I was awake
enough to figure out what was going on, he stiffened and I could feel a wet
spot on my hip.  He went limp after that but his breathing was a little
fast.  I reached out and pulled him closer to me and went back to sleep.
	When I dropped the boys off to work, I needed some groceries.  Now
that they had managed to hire enough help, Mrs. Downie delayed my shopping.
It was almost like old times.  She wanted to know what was going on at the
school.  Since nothing much had happened the last few days, it didn't take
long to get that out of the way.  Of course things moved on to Lee.  I told
her that Lee was now living with Rob and hopefully things would go well for
them.  I don't know why I bothered to say anything because she knew more
than I did.  As she filled me in on some things I didn't know about the
situation, I wondered if there was anything she didn't keep track of.  I
learned more about Rob's and Judy's meetings than I had from either of
them.  We finally got most of the happenings around the community caught up
and I was about to go reclaim my shopping cart when she brought up another
subject.
	That subject was the employment of the boys.  Ellen seemed a little
nervous talking about it but she wanted to know if I would be upset if they
changed the boys' hours.  Actually what the Downies wanted to do was have
the boys work on Saturdays only.  That didn't upset me because I had never
really been thrilled with them working in the first place.  It wasn't that
I didn't want them to learn about work and the responsibility that went
with it; it was just that I thought that they needed to spend more time
studying and growing up.  I had been getting some grumbling from them about
not having enough time for some of the fun things they liked to do.  I
think I surprised Mrs. Downie with my eager acceptance of that idea.
However, she smiled about it.  If the truth were known, I would have just
as soon had them wait a couple of years before getting a job.  What they
had thought was fun for the first couple of weeks was now turning into a
drag for them.
	She wondered if having them work for eight hours on Saturdays would
be acceptable to me.  I agreed and told her she needed to talk to them and
explain about how it would work.
	The last thing she brought up was my problems with Mrs. Darling.  I
was beginning to wonder if there was anything in my life Mrs. Downie wasn't
aware of when she offered the use of her office to tutor Gail.  A few
seconds thought convinced me it was as close to ideal as I could think of.
The office sat just off the meat department and had windows that looked in
on the meat department and out on the store.  We would be in plain sight of
anyone in the meat cutting area and anyone in the store.  About the only
place that would have been more public was setting up a class in the middle
of the street.  It would also give me a chance to see how Lee and Rob got
along.  About then it dawned on me that until the tutoring was done, the
boys would be home alone.  Still, with three of them together, they should
be able to keep from getting into too much trouble.  Then again, maybe they
would get in more trouble because there were three of them.  Perhaps with
the three of them together it would turn into one of those what trouble
they could get into that one couldn't think of, the others could
situations.  Still, they needed to have a chance to prove that they were
trustworthy and this seemed like a good way to do that.  Hopefully it would
only be for four or five afternoons but it should give them a feeling that
I trusted them and maybe I could get some idea of if I actually could trust
them.
	About that time Ellen got a fiendish gleam in her eye and told me
that Derrick and Kathy stopped off most afternoons that Rob was working and
maybe I could sort of watch over them on the days I was tutoring.  I wonder
why I was beginning to think this was a put up deal.  Ellen had far too
many reasons why this would be such a good solution to my current problem.
I was beginning to think that there were several people involved in that
planning.  We continued to visit and Ellen made a mistake.  Judy's name
came up at the wrong time and that told me she was involved in part of it.
Ellen even flushed when that happened.  I finally grinned and shook my
finger at her.  Some thoughts ran through my mind about having decided I
wanted to teach in a small community so I could know that community.  That
was turning out to be a two-edged sword.  In the three plus years that I
had been here I had met many of the people that lived in the area.  I had
gotten to know them and liked most of them.  By the same token, the same
applied to me.  They now knew far more about me than would have been normal
in the area I grew up in.  There was much more of a feeling of community
here than I had ever experienced before.  One only had to think of all the
people that had gotten excited about the football team.  We had as many
people attend the games when we got to the play-offs as had attended the
play-offs for from my high school.  The difference was there had been
fifteen hundred students in that high school and here there were only about
that number in the whole district, kindergarten through high school.  When
you added in that there were two high schools in my home town, that meant
that there were twice as many students in high school as we had in the
whole school district.  For that matter, the Catholic school there had been
bigger than our district was.
	Mrs. Downie finally let me go get some groceries.  She seemed to be
treating me like my folks used to.  You know how it is; your parents want
to know about everything going on in your life even if you don't think they
need to know quite everything.  After all there are some things that should
be left alone but Mrs. Downie was beginning to act like anything was fair
game.  She seemed to be worried about me and all the boys.  In a lot of
ways that made me feel good but sometimes I will admit that there was some
resentment on my part.  I knew other people that shopped there and she
didn't get that involved in their lives.  Why did she do so in mine?  Still
I had to admit that it was nice to have someone that was concerned about
me.  Oh well, in the long run I liked both of them and I guess I'll just
have to put up with it.
	I had the meatloaf in the oven by the time I had to go pick up the
boys.  At least there should be enough of it left to where I could have a
sandwich or two.  Not having Rob, Chuck, or Lee eating it would help.
	I could hear boys giggling as I finished cooking dinner.  They
seemed in a better mood.  I wasn't sure what they were up to but didn't
worry about it.  When I went to call them for dinner I found them playing
my old video game.  One look at their level of skill made me doubt that I
could still whip them.  Even Billy and Larry looked like they might be
better than I was.  Somehow I think they were ganging up on me.  They
seemed to be helping each other get better and from what I could hear, the
object of that practice was to teach me my place.  They were concentrating
so hard on the game that they didn't realize I was spying on them.  They
about jumped out of their skins when I told them dinner was ready.
	After dinner they wanted to take me on.  I told them no video games
until homework was done.  It was surprising how quickly they finished their
homework.  Not only that, I didn't hear any music or talking.  There were a
couple of careless type mistakes which I sent them back to correct.  Then
they dragged me to the computer room.
	It was about dead even.  I still remembered a few tricks that they
hadn't learned but their faster reflexes almost overcame that.  By the time
Billy and Larry left for home, they were winning slightly more than I was.
	It was kind of odd.  I hadn't played any video games since my folks
were killed.  I'd never been very good but after that happened, the games
had never seemed important.  Thinking about it I wondered why I had never
thrown the games away.  Now I was glad I hadn't.  The boys had gotten a
real kick out of beating me part of the time.  They were bubbling over with
glee at proving they were better than an old man like me.  I only had a few
years before I would hit thirty.  In their minds I had one foot in the
coffin.
	By the time I sent them off to bed, the boys were in a good mood.
Having them cheerful made me feel better.  Even Dog was frisky.  There was
a bunch of giggling and wise cracks as we headed for our respective
bedrooms.
	It carried on into the bathroom.  Our shower was the best we'd had
in several weeks.  Corey couldn't seem to keep his mind on his business.  I
probably shouldn't talk about his mind because I have no idea where that
was.  His hands, on the other hand, were in places that I could hardly
miss.  As he squirmed around, groping me, I was reminded how nice it was
when he was in a good mood.  Neither of us wanted to wait but we agreed we
could have more fun in bed than in the shower.  Still, his hands almost
slowed things up until I could recharge.  I was so close.
	I suppose we could have taken a little more time and dried
ourselves off better but somehow that didn't seem very important.
Therefore, we were both somewhat damp when we made it to bed.  Busy hands
soon brought about a quick sixty-nine.  We were both so excited that we had
to do something quick.  When it was over and our breathing started to
return to normal, Corey pivoted around and crawled on top of me.  His nose
was less than an inch from mine and all I could seem to do was fall into
those vivid blue eyes.  Suddenly nothing mattered but Corey.  The world
could have ended but as long as he was in my arms I wouldn't care.  The
feel of his warm body against mine brought a feeling of love that left me
content with the world.
	His eyes seemed to be getting closer and shifting position a little
and suddenly I could feel his lips as he started kissing me.  As his tongue
tried to find its way into my mouth, I could feel my arms pulling him
against me.  His skin was warm and still slightly damp.  That had to be
from perspiration because the water from the shower would have evaporated
by now.  Plus, his odor was a little stronger.  I could feel his tongue,
searching my mouth and my hands started rubbing his back.
	As the kissing deepened, my rubbing drifted downward.  Soon my
hands were doing one of their favorite things and that was kneading those
globes that filled the back of his jeans.  His bubble butt consisted of
those two globes that just filled my hands perfectly.  They felt warm and
soft as I continued working them.  I swear I could spend eternity doing
what we were no doing.  It just felt so perfect.  My mind was no longer
worried about anything and I was contented.
	Even after our quick sixty-nine, I still needed more.  So did
Corey.  He raised up and reached down and I could feel his hand guiding my
cock to where he wanted it.  That place was between his legs against his
perineum.  Then he settled back on top of me.  His legs were between mine
and my cock was trapped in a warm place.  I could feel his testicles
against my pubic hair.  I could smell his slightly musky sent.  I was in
heaven.
	As he continued sucking on my tongue, I changed tactics.  I started
running my fingers lightly up and down his spine.  I could feel shivers run
through him.  His skin was so smooth.  It almost felt like velvet.  Yet
under the velvet like skin were muscles, muscles I could feel flexing as he
gently humped against me.
	By now the body to body contact had both of us sweating.  That made
the area where my cock was nestled somewhat slick.  I could feel it start
to slide as he continued humping.  Also, the area on my abdomen where his
cock was laying was also slick from both sweat and precum.  There wasn't
nearly as much precum this time but there was plenty of sweat to make up
for it.  I could feel his cock start to slip against me.  It felt good.
Really, it felt better than good.  The last couple of weeks had been such a
mess that we hadn't made love to each other and we were both just plain
horny.
	As his motion shifted there was a time when his pucker was exposed.
Part of the time my cock was over it but when he raised up, I could tease
it with my finger tips.  Every time I did that, his body would tense and he
would thrust against me and when that happened, my cock was in the way of
my fingers.  Then he'd rise until my fingers once again were able to touch
him in that very private place.  When my fingers made contact, the whole
cycle started again.
	Corey stopped kissing and raised his head.  Suddenly he was
squirming around on the bed.  It didn't take long to see what he had in
mind.  It was another sixty-nine except this wasn't like the first one this
evening.  That one had been hurried.  This time we took our time.  This
time I had plenty of time to lick and nuzzle him.  I could feel the heat
and smell his musky scent.  As I licked him I could taste the remains of
our previous round.  Somehow that always turned me on.  That flavor seemed
to make it real.  I was having a sexual encounter twice with the one I
loved.  I settled down to work at nursing on him.
	As I enjoyed the taste and feel of his cock, my hand reached out
and started fondling his testicles.  They had grown since the first time
I'd felt them.  His scrotum was still almost completely hairless but if one
looked carefully, you could just barely see a few hairs starting.  However,
I had to go by memory on that as my eyes were way to close to him to focus
on that part of him.  As I gently squeezed and kneaded those testicles, I
could feel his hot mouth working on me.
	We took our time.  We would get close and then pause.  When his
nuts started to drop again, we would try some more.  We just kept doing
that.  Build up, pause, relax.  I lost track of the number of times we
paused.  Finally his upper leg moved over and came to rest on my shoulder.
That told me he wanted to continue to the finish and that he also wanted
something more.
	I pulled my head back and let a little saliva dribble onto my
finger.  When there was enough to coat it well, I moved my hand to that
private place and started working there.  It wasn't long before my finger
was inside.  It wasn't the easiest position for me to reach that way but
practice had made it easier.
	I could feel his finger seek entrance.  I relaxed and let him in.
It was now time for the main event.
	I moved my head forward and once again had all of him in my mouth.
Well, all of you know what.  As I nursed on him my finger sought a certain
place.  It didn't take long to find it and when I did, the effect was
dramatic.  He jerked and slammed into me.  Then he sort of moved back and
slammed forward again.  It was like he couldn't make up his mind what to do
but somehow I don't think his mind had anything to do with his actions.
About that time his finger found what it was seeking and I no longer knew
what was happening.  I could no longer control myself.  I was jerking and
twitching and everything was happening at once.  I could feel my body jerk
a couple of times and then stiffen.  There was a pressure that suddenly
seemed to go over the top and I was thrusting as if my life depended on it.
I wanted to shout out about how great it was but my mouth was full of a
thrusting Corey.  All I could do was swallow.
	When we came down from our high, Corey managed to struggle and get
turned around.  He wormed his way into his favorite position and laid his
head on my chest.  I didn't think I had sufficient strength but I managed
to raise my hand and rub his shoulder.  In a short while he gave a little
shake and his head got heavier.  I soon joined him in sleep.

		To be continued...
	Since I seem to get questions about my cooking, here is my
meatloaf.  The recipe is for a big one but you can scale to the size you
want.  4 lbs. hamburger, ¾ lb country sausage, one minced yellow onion, 1
15 oz can tomato sauce, three eggs, 2 heaping tablespoons of Curry powder,
salt and pepper to taste.  If you like onion, dice a large one, if not use
a small one.  I sometimes dice a couple of ribs of celery to add to it.
Put the ingredients in a large bowl and mix well.  Go ahead, just stick you
hands in there and mix it.  Grab big handfuls and squeeze.  Turn the mess
over in the bowl and keep doing it until you can't see any difference in
color except for little pieces of onion or celery.  I place it in a large
pan and pat it into a loaf form in the middle of the pan.  The raw loaf is
normally about three and a half inches thick and there is some room on the
bottom of the pan around the loaf.  That way the excess fat has a place to
run out.  That is one reason I don't use a filler like bread crumbs or
oatmeal.  I would prefer that some of the fat cook out.  Besides, one needs
a place to cook some potatoes and carrots and onions.  A nice big pan
allows you to scatter those things along side and then there is only one
pan to wash.  Alright, there is the bowl you mixed it in but only one
cooking pan.  I generally use 16% hamburger and then enough fat runs out to
cook the carrots and things.  Put the carrots and onions in first (after
some fat has cooked out) and let them cook for a while before the potatoes.
You can start adding the vegetables when a little fat has cooked out of the
meatloaf.  I put the carrots and onions in and cover with foil.  Let it
cook fifteen or twenty more minutes and add the potatoes, peeled and
halved, and cook covered for another fifteen minutes.  Remove foil and
finish cooking.  By the way, I cook it at 350.  The meatloaf should be done
when the potatoes are done.  Total cooking time is generally an hour and
fifteen to twenty minutes.  If the meat loaf is a little thicker, it takes
longer.  My sister told me, when I was trying to learn to cook, put it in
the oven and cook at 350 until done.  That works for a lot of things but I
will have to say I use other temperatures for bakery items and things like
custards.  Sorry, that meatloaf will not feed nearly as many hungry
teenagers as you would think it should.  It isn't that they eat all that
much at dinner (they eat enough of it then) but the sandwiches before bed
and in the middle of the night seem to take a real toll on it.  Then if it
should happen to last into the next day, the mid afternoon snack will about
demolish it.
	One last note.  For those of you who think that I can't spell
Bratwurst, I can.  The sausage mentioned is spelt Bockwurst.  It is
seasoned differently than Bratwurst.  Both are good but they taste
different.  If you want more information on it run a google search.

For that matter, there are many different sausages.  There is a mild
English one called Bangers which is frequently served in a dish called
Bangers and Mash.  Never having been to England I can't say if I would like
the dish but the recipe looks good.  One of these days maybe I'll have to
try it.  My local butcher shop occasionally makes them.  If you like
something somewhat spicier, you might try a Cajun one called Andouille.
You can definitely feel the heat when you eat them but they are excellent.
For more information on sausages check out
http://www.foodsubs.com/MeatcureSausage.html Of course once you have
decided what you want, finding it might be harder.