Date: Fri, 24 Feb 2006 20:40:31 -0800
From: fritz@nehalemtel.net
Subject: I Love Corey, Chapter Seventy-six
If you are the type of person who gets upset over the description
of gay sex acts, I can only assume you are a parent and have discovered
this story by checking out the history of what your child was reading on
the web. Just calm down, take a deep breath, and prepare the usual lecture
on the evils of stories like this, and then go give it to your child. Be
sure to ask that child the usual questions like, "How could you?" and "What
am I going to do with you?" Well you know the routine. Try to ignore any
eye rolling and expressions of resignation on said child's face because it
will only make you angrier and will solve nothing. The lecture will solve
nothing either, but it will make you feel like you did your duty as a
parent. However I would ask one thing before you fly off the handle and
scream and rage at your child. Think long and hard before you do so.
Perhaps an honest conversation would be better, because that screaming and
raging might drive your child to do something none of us want. In case
you're feeling a little obtuse, suicide is an ugly word. Please don't do
anything that might bring about an action you end up regretting for the
rest of your life.
If you live in an area that forbids the reading of stories like
this, I can only assume you have been successful at keeping others from
knowing about your choices in reading material. Keep up the good work, and
good luck.
I'm sorry to inform you that none of the characters exist, and none
of the events described ever happened. It is only a tale, spun in my idle
hours, hopefully for your amusement.
Please treat this story with the same respect you would like
something you wrote to be treated. Don't try to claim any or all of it as
your own work, and don't try to use it in a commercial manner without first
contacting me.
I just keep adding to Don's burdens in life. However his editing
really helps in the readability of this story. I am truly blessed to have
such a friend.
Don't be afraid to write with any questions, comments, suggestions,
or complaints. I try to respond to all who write. If you don't receive a
response, make sure your email filter will accept a response from me, and
make sure you use a valid email address. Also be sure to put "I Love
Corey" in the subject line so I don't inadvertently delete your email.
Send such emails to fritz@nehalemtel.net I hope you enjoy the following
chapter. Fritz
********************************************************************************
I Love Corey, Chapter Seventy-six
Tuesday morning went fine. Corey once again was pretty subdued,
but not nearly as much as he had been a few days ago. There wasn't much in
the morning teachers meeting, and my classes just seemed to sail along. In
fact nothing happened until my second math class of the afternoon.
It was one of those days when the class just seemed to soak up
knowledge and once again, we got done a few minutes early. So once again
it was time to discuss anything that came into the kid's minds. Even that
was going well until Marty Logan spoke up.
"Coach Lofton, what's the story of Pendinkio? I heard you know all
about it."
Now the question in and of itself was bad enough, but most of the
boys in my class were snickering. That only made it worse, and it didn't
help that Marty was smirking. Marty was a smart kid and he and I had been
sparring verbally for a couple of years. He had a quick wit and was always
trying to get the better of me, much to the amusement of the rest of the
class, and so far I had been able to hold my own, and was maybe even ahead
a little. However I could sense that I was going to lose this round badly.
My mind froze for an instant, and then I swear it went into hyper drive or
something as I struggled to come up with an answer that wouldn't get me
fired. I wasn't sure which of the boys had opened his mouth, but I just
wanted to wring their scrawny little necks, or maybe I could just send them
to Northern Siberia. Yes, that was it, Northern Siberia with no winter
clothes. Let them dwell upon their sins as they slowly froze to death.
Strangling was much too fast.
"Umm, it's just a variation of Pinocchio," I sort of stammered.
The class could smell blood in the water, just like sharks. I had
shown weakness.
"I heard it's quite a bit different," Marty shot back, still
smirking.
"Why the sudden interest in fairy tails Mr. Logan. I thought you
were past that age?" Now using Marty's name that way was a signal that I
was now ready to verbally joust with the kids. Actually I wasn't, but was
instead desperately trying to buy myself enough time to come up with a way
to talk myself out of this whole situation, so I suppose my voice lacked
that sound of confidence that sometimes made the kids stop and think before
proceeding. After a very brief pause, Marty charged ahead.
"Oh I was just kind of interested in the differences between German
and English fairy tales. I might write a paper on it for Mrs. Webb's
English class." His smirk had gotten even bigger, like he thought he had
delivered a coup de grace, or mortal blow, and put me out of my misery.
Now I have to admit he had me badly wounded, but suddenly I saw a light.
"Perhaps you might explain what you've heard. That way I can
correct any misconceptions you might have." I was rebounding some and I
only hoped it would be enough.
Now Marty hadn't thought about the fact that he might have to say
something about the subject, and the shoe was suddenly on the other foot.
He blushed, in fact he blushed big time. He blushed so much his freckles
disappeared. Not only that, his smirk vanished like it had never existed.
However, much to my annoyance the bell rang, ending the class. My
counterpunch had scored heavily on him, in fact much better than I thought
it would, and I really would have liked to have more time to follow it up.
As the students rushed out of class I heard Sherrie Jones, who was about as
cute as any girl in the school, and I think she had a crush on Marty, ask
him who Pendinkio was and his blush returned. As I gathered up my papers
all I could think was it was a good thing I really liked Marty. Otherwise
I might have killed him. He was always trying to embarrass me and today
had been one of his better efforts. Yet I had to admit to myself, I liked
the challenge. Kids like Marty made life real interesting and kept me on
my toes. And I was feeling pretty smug that I had managed to survive his
latest effort. I felt fairly confident that Sherrie would manage to worm
the story out of him, and that should pretty well end the matter, at least
as far as I was concerned.
When baseball practice was over, (once again indoors due to rain)
and after some ogling and giggling on the part of both the girl's and boy's
teams, and the laundry was just finishing up in the washer, I cornered my
boys and asked them who was responsible for spreading the story of
Pendinkio. I really got no answers except for a bunch of blushing boys.
Well, there was a little head hanging and looking at the floor to go with
that blushing. Now that pretty well told me all I needed to know, but a
little more prodding and I learned that the boys had "sort of" been
laughing with some of their friends and the story might, just might have
gotten out that way. All I could do was mentally shake my head. They
certainly hadn't done anything wrong, but had just been boys, giggling and
laughing with their friends. In fact the whole thing was rather funny,
even if I had been a little shocked in class. Ah well, such is life when
dealing with kids. They need to test their wings and see if they are able
to hold their own against adults. It's known as growing up, and maybe,
just maybe Marty would think twice before trying something like that again.
Nah, not a chance.
We headed home when the laundry was in the dryer, stopping at
Downies for groceries. Today we were not as lucky as yesterday, and
Mrs. Downie captured us, well mostly Corey and me. However she was very
good with Corey and I really think she made him feel better. She just
seemed to exude love and care for him, and he seemed to soak it up. Of
course I'd been trying to do the same thing, but her advantage as a mother
figure seemed to make her a little more effective. On the negative side,
the boys couldn't' agree on what they wanted to eat. Some wanted chicken,
some wanted burgers, and I think Kyle and Mark kind of got drowned out and
I wasn't sure what they wanted. I finally compromised by grabbing a huge
package of chicken thighs, and a big package of ground beef, with the
requisite buns to go with it. The boys finally agreed to chicken tonight,
and burgers tomorrow. That way I would have time to start the potato salad
tonight. Otherwise they would be eating warm potato salad and they agreed
they would rather have it chilled. That made it a little easier for me
because I could just boil a few more potatoes than I needed for the mashed
potatoes, and use them in the salad.
So I quickly browned the chicken, and then set it to simmering in a
big batch of gravy which I made with the last of the chicken stock. Mental
note, make more chicken stock. It was basically cream gravy, and I had
been known to use cream of chicken soup instead of making my own, but I did
like mine a little better, especially if I had chicken stock on hand.
While the chicken was simmering, and the potatoes boiling, I braised a
medley of mixed vegetables consisting of some cauliflower, broccoli (yes
the hated broccoli), carrots, and some zucchini. I let the boys mash the
potatoes while I finished off the vegetables with a little hoisin sauce and
a little cornstarch. Actually it was more of a stir-fry vegetable dish. I
had even put some fresh ground ginger root and a little soy in it. Just as
I was about to dish it up, I added some toasted cashews for both flavor and
crunch. All the while I'd been cooking, the boys had also been making a
salad out of grated carrots and apples.
The boys did pretty well on the dinner. They even ate the
vegetables without complaining about the hated broccoli. However the
school had not served mystery meat, and so they didn't attack dinner with
the same ferocity as they had last night.
After dinner was eaten, and the dishes picked up, and the homework
was done, and after it was checked, we sat around visiting a little. A
subject came up that hadn't come up before simply because of the way things
had been. That subject was inviting friends over to spend the night, like
as in sleepover, what an oxymoron. A little kicking it around and we all
agreed that it would be fine as long as such event were planned a couple
days in advance. The only change necessary for such an event would be that
Corey would have to sleep in his own room, that is unless they all crashed
in sleeping bags in the family room or something. I suppose it had never
come up before because Corey hadn't had many friends to start with and so
he sort of clung to me, and with JJ and LT, well they were happy with each
other. However with the advent of Kyle and Mark, that changed things
somewhat. As long as we were kicking it around, I also threw out that any
of them were free to invite friends for dinner as long as I had some
warning. They agreed that a couple days warning would be acceptable on
that also. I also threw out, for their information, that they could even
have groups over but I would like another day or two more warning on that,
simply because it would be necessary to have more food in the house. That
should give me time to make things like potato salad and other goodies they
might like to snack on.
Thinking of potato salad reminded me that I needed to finish fixing
the batch for tomorrow night. So I headed off for the kitchen, astounded
that the boys were right behind me, whining about nothing to eat. Good
Lord, it has only been a little less than two hours since they had eaten
enough chicken with mashed potatoes and gravy for an army. They kept
whining and I suggested they might make some cookies. The next thing I
knew I was relegated to a little section of my kitchen to finish the potato
salad, and the boys were making a big mess in the rest of it making
cookies. When I say mess, I'm not kidding. They turned my poor old
KitchenAid mixer up a little too fast and scattered flour all around it,
but finally managed to get all the ingredients in the bowl for a batch of
chocolate chip cookies. Of course it really was a little more complicated
than that, because I had just handed them a package of chocolate chips and
told them to use the recipe on the package. I had to explain about
creaming the butter and sugar together, but after that they seemed to
figure the rest out. Well I did have to warn them to use cooking spray on
the cookie sheets, and then where it was at, but they did pretty well after
those few directions. I finished the potato salad about the time the first
pan of cookies was done. They even let me have a warm cookie. While I
normally don't eat many cookies, there is something about a still warm
chocolate chip cookie that I find hard to refuse. They managed to scarf
the rest of that pan full down before the next had finished baking, and
were standing around drooling while waiting for it. I even managed to
sneak another cookie out of the second pan without them bitching too much.
Let me tell you it is a good thing I had bought the medium sized
package of chocolate chips or they would never have filled up. In fact
next time I might buy the super gigantic size package, something like five
pounds or so. I got two cookies, and the rest of the batch was pretty well
demolished. Somewhat less than a third of the batch survived to see
tomorrow, and of course you know who did most of the cleanup. Extra points
if you guessed me. However it was smiling boys that headed off for bed,
even Corey. While they may not be too good for him, even Dog enjoyed the
cookies. I seem to remember that dogs aren't supposed to eat chocolate,
but Dog didn't appear to know that.
The morning meeting was going about like normal, which is to say
not much was going on, until Mrs. Webb asked Jerry if he had ever heard of
Pendinkio. She explained that one of the girls in her class had asked
about it yesterday, and she had never heard of the story. Jerry looked
kind of blank, and I just tried to scrunch down in my chair and look
unobtrusive. It didn't work. His eyes swept the room and settled on me.
"Mister Lofton, why is it that I think you may be able to shed
light on this subject?" he asked.
Now I really wasn't sure just why he thought I could enlighten
anyone, unless it had something to do with my blush and kind of hangdog
expression. However, I had not managed to perfect my shrinking act to
where I could slip through the cracks in the floor, so I was stuck.
"Umm, I think it is something like the story of Pinocchio, maybe a
German version of it," I sort of stammered.
"Something like, or just the same story in German?" he questioned.
"Umm, a little different," I stammered.
"Different in what way? Come come, enlighten us."
"Err; his nose doesn't grow when he tells a lie."
"If his nose doesn't grow, what does?" Jerry shot back, I'm sure
without thinking.
By now my necktie felt like a noose, and I could feel the sweat
start to trickle down bridge of my nose from my forehead. I could feel
every eye in the room riveted on me. Outside of my somewhat labored
breathing, you could have heard the proverbial pin drop.
"Uhh, well,,, err, his manhood grows," I stammered.
Jerry's mouth fell open, and then he asked, "His manhood grows?"
with his voice rising about a half of an octave by the time he finished his
question.
"Umm, yes sir."
Jerry's face had a look of sheer incredulity on it, and about that
time Mrs. Webb said, in a stage whisper everyone could hear, "Oh my, I must
tell Henry about this."
About then Jesse Williams, the geography teacher, snorted, and
Julia Hunt, the other counselor, started giggling. Henry was Mr. Henry
Webb, Shirley's husband, and he was a super nice guy with a great sense of
humor. He was a partner in an accounting firm, in fact the same firm that
I used. The thought flashed through my mind that of all the people I knew,
Henry was the least likely to need to know about Pendinkio. After all, I'd
seen him in his swimsuit, and what I saw wasn't in need of any help.
However he would probably join those traitors, known as my colleagues, in
their giggles.
By now Jerry just had a stunned look on his face. That didn't stop
the giggles though; they were rapidly spreading around the room. His mouth
opened and closed a few times, like a fish out of water, and he finally
came up with another question.
"Where on earth did you ever hear that story?" he asked, in a tone
of sheer disbelief.
"Well, umm, I, uhh well I didn't exactly hear about it," I
stammered out. Quickly taking another breath I continued, "The boys and I
were discussing lies, and, well, err well I sort of made it up on the fly,"
I finished with a rush.
Jerry just stood there staring at me after I said that. I could
still hear giggling in the background, but Jerry didn't say anything for
what seemed to be the longest time. It looked like he was developing a tic
in his right cheek. I just sat there frozen, staring at Jerry, afraid to
look at the rest of my giggling colleagues. After what seemed like days,
he finally appeared to digest what had been said.
"On the fly," he said in a somewhat pensive voice. "Perhaps it's
just as well if we drop the subject." The tic seemed to be getting worse,
and Jerry turned and headed for the door into the office. He never quite
made it though; suddenly he was leaning against the doorframe, laughing
like a maniac. "On the fly," he chocked out, amongst more bursts of
laughter, and he just kept leaning there and laughing. Finally he whirled
and asked, "How in the hell did you ever come up with something like that?"
he gasped out, all the while still laughing.
"Well it seemed like the right thing to do at the time," I whined.
By now there wasn't a giggle left in the room. Those giggles had
all turned to all out laughter. Anyone looking in would no doubt have come
to the conclusion we were all mad, and sent for the men in white coats who
had a big supply of those jackets with all the straps on them. You know
the jackets I'm talking about, those jacket-like things with all the
buckles on the back. The next stop would be a rubber room where we
couldn't hurt ourselves.
After at least a year's more of that laughter, Jerry finally seemed
to get himself under control. He turned and faced the room again. His
eyes swept over the room, and when they settled on me he snorted,
"Pendinkio." A couple more chuckles on his part and he finally looked at
us and said, "Meeting dismissed." I quickly gathered up my stuff so I
could hurry to my first classroom. I might be able to hold my own against
Marty, but I had clearly lost this one. As I ducked out of the door, I
could still hear laughter and giggles. What a way to start the day.
Even though it had seemed to last forever, the meeting had broken
up early, and that gave me some time to try to pull myself back together.
Boy I really needed it too. By the time kids started showing up, my
necktie had stretched back out to where I could breathe again.
The day actually didn't go to bad after its poor start. There were
a few giggles from the students, but I had already been giggled at by pros,
and the kids just couldn't hold a candle to them. I just ignored the
giggles and continued with the class. I even heard some stage type
whispers containing the word Pendinkio, but I made sure not to react. That
way I could always say I didn't hear them. Blessed is deniability, for it
shall protect me. At least Marty had no desire to bring the subject up.
My asking him to tell me what he had heard must have convinced him that he
didn't want to get into this subject again. By the time classes were over,
the whole subject seemed forgotten, for which I was most thankful.
What can I say about practice? I mean we needed a lot more, but
the kids were showing some improvement. We spent a little more time in a
practice game than usual, and the pitchers did a little better at getting
the ball across the plate, the throws from the fielders weren't nearly as
wild, and there were fewer dropped balls. Last years starting team had all
gone on to high school, along with most of the pitching staff, so I was
having to build the team from the ground up. That would have been bad
enough, but I still didn't have much of an idea of how to coach baseball.
Even so, if I could just have a few more weeks I might be able to field a
decent team, but that did nothing for my confidence for tomorrow's game. I
sighed to myself and just accepted that the team would just have to do the
best they could, and hopefully that would be good enough.
The boys and I were headed for the Gator when my cell phone started
vibrating. It was Judy, wanting to know if she could stop over after
dinner and talk with me. She snickered and told me she would also make it
her monthly report, thereby killing two birds with one stone. She sounded
like she was in a better mood, and seemed really happy when I told her
sure, just come on over when she was ready. Dinner was going to be easy
anyway, what with only having to fix hamburgers.
Things went really well. Of course Dog got a quick belly rub, and
the boys worked on their homework. I only had to fix some condiments, like
onion slices, tomato slices, and the like for the burgers. The potato
salad was made, so the beans could heat while I cooked burgers on the
barbecue. It didn't take long to make the patties and as soon as the
barbecue was hot, it was time to cook.
It would have made things a lot easier if Dog hadn't insisted on
running back and forth with me every time I went outside. There he was,
always in the way. I about tripped over him when carrying the tray of
hamburger patties out, and every time I turned around, there he was, right
in my way. The thing was, I just couldn't scold him because he acted so
happy that the patio door was open and he got to run in and out through it,
rather than use his dog door. But finally everything was cooked and the
boys were attacking their burgers, potato salad, beans, and huge piles of
chips. When the first burger was gone, they did it all over again. I just
shook my head while eating my one burger, along with more modest sized
servings of salad, beans, and chips. The one other thing I noticed was
that by the time they got done putting a whole garden on their burgers,
they had to squash them flat in order to make them thin enough to gnaw a
bite off. Actually they kind of looked like beavers, gnawing bites off
here and there. As they slowly filled up, they started talking.
I was impressed. They had started talking with Daniel Graves. Of
course Frank Rogers had not supplied any of the supposed lies that Danny
had told. In fact, he had been rather belligerent and defensive when JJ
had asked him, but since both LT and Corey had been there, along with JJ,
he hadn't done much more than mouth off. Anyhow, they had found out that
Danny liked science fiction, which the boys did also. He also liked some
of the same music the boys did, so that was fine. By the time they
finished telling me all about Danny, I couldn't believe they had gotten
that much out of him. I'd spent several months with almost no success, and
they had done it in two days. They even said they liked him, and that he
seemed like a neat kid except he was so shy, so I suggested that they
invite him to dinner after spring break. I figured it wouldn't hurt the
boys to have one more friend, and Danny really needed some, at least I
thought he did from what I had seen.
The best part of it for me was when the boys started talking
amongst themselves, and decided that they were no longer going to just take
someone's word about someone else. JJ made a statement to the effect that
he was sorry he had ever listened to Frank, and he wouldn't make that
mistake again. I jumped in and pointed out that Frank might have been
right, but not to believe everything you heard without some proof. I also
pointed out that if Frank had actually known of any instances that he
thought Danny lied, he should have been willing to share, or at least try
to convince them that he knew what he was talking about even if it was
something he didn't want to repeat. That got into a discussion about
sometimes a person should not reveal information they knew, like maybe if
someone was gay, to other people. All in all, I was starting to feel a
little smug that they seemed to be starting to understand that rumors can
be damaging to people, and you should never repeat them. They finally lost
interest in the subject and picked up the dishes and put the leftovers away
while I started checking homework.
One nice thing about middle school is that there isn't as much
homework as high school. I was almost done checking it when Judy showed
up. Of course the boys wanted to listen in on what she was going to say,
but she chased them off, rather emphatically. Then she suggested we go
into my office and talk a little. So I poured her some coffee and we
retired to the office and closed the door. I was a little puzzled, but she
seemed happy so I didn't think there was bad news, only something that she
didn't want the boys to know for some reason.
Judy started out by explaining that yes, it was possible to adopt
the boys. She even thought the judge would go for it if certain conditions
were met, and then filled me in on why it would take a while before it
could be done. She explained that so far none of the boys were officially
removed permanently from their families. While I could proceed with Corey
if I wanted, the rest of the boys would take a little time. JJ would take
the least because he had been abandoned. Kyle and Mark would take the
longest unless their father was willing to sign them over, and LT was still
a question mark. I had to remind her that LT wasn't asking to be adopted,
which had apparently slipped her mind. It probably took her about fifteen
minutes to explain all the ins and outs of the paper work, and how long it
would probably take. In the end, it looked doable.
"Okay Judy, you mentioned some conditions that would make it
easier. Just what are they, and how hard do you think it would be to meet
them," I asked.
"There's really only one. The others are just paperwork, assuring
the state that you have the means and enough insurance to take care of them
if something happens to you. You probably don't even need any insurance
since you have some money, but you do need to have some clauses in your
will that make provisions to care for them. The other one is a little
harder. It would really help if you had some kind of housekeeper. It
would really help in court if you had a woman housekeeper. That way the
court would feel the boys are better protected." Now Judy didn't say that
the court would feel the boys were safer with a woman in the house because
there was less likelihood that I would do something improper simply because
she didn't have too. We both knew just what she meant.
I settled back and thought about that for a few seconds. "Well,
the money isn't a problem, and I've already put clauses in my will, but
finding someone that wouldn't get freaked out is a much bigger one, and
frankly I wouldn't have any idea of how to go about finding such a person.
I guess that idea is out," I answered. A couple more seconds and I
continued, "How much difference would that make?"
"A major difference Sam, a major difference. I think on the order
of several times more chance of success." Then she just sat there, looking
rather smug after answering my question.
I thought a few more seconds. Owing to the circumstances, I just
couldn't see any way that I could find a housekeeper, well at least a
female housekeeper that wouldn't freak and head for the police as soon as
she figured out just what was going on. In fact, I doubted that any male
housekeeper, even a gay one, would be any different. There was just no way
that a housekeeper would be blind enough not to see that Corey and I were
lovers.
"Look, there is just no way that a housekeeper is going to work.
You know what the situation is, and how can you think that I could find one
that would accept it?" While I referred to it as "The Situation," Judy
knew what I was talking about. She had even more or less blackmailed me
over it. I had three boys in the house because of that blackmail, well
actually four but she hadn't blackmailed me into taking Mark, and while I
really liked having them, and I would hate to see them leave, I hadn't been
real thrilled to start with, and only the threat she held over me had made
me acquiesce without a fight. However while I was saying that, Judy's grin
just got a little wider.
"I think I have one all picked out for you." When she said that,
she looked like the proverbial "cat that ate the canary."
I'm sure my mouth fell open. I was stunned. Here I had been
trying to keep things quiet, and Judy herself had hinted that I needed to
keep things quiet, and here she was, telling me that she knew someone that
would accept mine and Corey's relationship, and the only way she could know
that is if she had talked about it and this party had agreed. I could only
hope it had been in the hypothetical, and that my name had not been
mentioned. I finally managed a feeble, "Huh?"
"Sam, this lady I have in mind is a person I grew up with. I had a
crush on her brother. Silly me, I didn't know he was gay because he wasn't
out. She has two gay brothers, but I didn't learn that till we were all
out of school, and she has a gay son. The two gay brothers and the gay son
are why she is available, and that's because her husband couldn't tolerate
gays. A little over a year ago, her son finally admitted to her that he
thought he was gay, and her husband overheard it. That brought things to a
head and he walked out. Since then things have been tough for her. She
doesn't have any formal training for a job because she got married right
out of high school and helped her husband finish college by working as a
waitress. All she ever wanted to be is a housewife and raise kids, but she
had some problems and the one boy is all she could have. To get on with
the story, after the separation, her husband hired a good lawyer, and that
lawyer managed to pretty well shaft her. To finish things off, they were
in a lot of debt, and the husband, who is a lawyer, and the lawyer he hired
managed to see that she isn't getting much child support, and he is always
late with the little he does give her. She was struggling along until
about three months ago when she was hit by a pickup that ran a stop sign.
Since then she hasn't been able to work, and the driver of the pickup
didn't have any insurance, and of course no money." Judy took a sip of her
coffee before continuing. "Now her landlord is threatening her with
eviction for falling behind on her rent, she has doctor bills to pay, and
things are really hard for her and her son."
"So?" I said, looking at Judy.
"So I talked it over with her and her son. When I finally told her
who you were, her son was thrilled."
Somehow I didn't care about that lady's son being thrilled. I was
in the sheer panic mode, and my heart was pounding and I could almost feel
the cold hard handcuffs being snapped around my wrists. It was bad enough
that so many people seemed to have figured it out, but now Judy was telling
others. At least most of those who had figured it out were my friends, and
perhaps a little more tolerant, but a total stranger? Did she have any
idea just how risky that was for me? Or for that matter, the boys? I just
wanted to get up and strangle her, but I couldn't move. I was just
paralyzed in fear. How could she do this to me?
"Sam? Sam are you listening to me?" It was Judy trying to see if
I was listening to her. She was leaning forward in her chair, waving a
hand at me, kind of in front of my face but further away. I tried to say
of course I'm listening to you, but I still couldn't speak. I couldn't
seem to get my breath very well either.
The next thing I remember is that Judy had my head pushed down and
was telling me to breathe. She was also making soothing mother type
sounds, telling me everything was going to be all right, that she would
take care of things, and more of the just relax and breathe bit. Parts of
it must have worked, at least on some level, because at least I seemed to
be doing better with my breathing; however there was still the fear that
everything was falling apart and my life would soon be over, the boys gone,
and me in jail. What would happen to Corey? Or JJ? Or LT? Not to
mention Kyle and Mark? They needed me; they needed someone to support them
and protect them; someone to help them grow up. After all, Corey's mother
had just been murdered and he had no one; neither did JJ since his family
couldn't be found; and as for LT, well I wasn't sure his father would ever
accept him, but his father certainly wasn't willing to have him back at
this time. That left Kyle and Mark, and so far the police were still
investigating that one, and it was starting to look like there was more
involved than just the beating that Kyle had received. In fact Judy had
just filled me in on what was going on with that case while explaining how
long it would take to get the paperwork done. The police were now really
looking into the disappearance of the boys' mother, and might well bring
charges of murder against him. All these thoughts, along with many others
like how would my colleagues' react when they learned, who would take care
of Dog, and things like that were racing through my mind and I just didn't
have any answers, only all those questions. My whole world might be
falling apart and all I had was a bunch of questions. No matter how hard I
tried, I could even come up with a way to protect those I loved. I was
just so worthless. Just so ineffective and worthless. I couldn't stop
myself, and just started to cry. I started blabbering all those, and many
other things to Judy, like making sure the boys had good homes; and that
I'd set money aside to help them; and to please be sure and find a home for
Dog also. I just couldn't stop myself and I kept telling her all I ever
wanted to do was help the boys, and I was so sorry it wasn't working out
that way. I just couldn't stop myself, and I knew I wasn't making much
sense, but I had to try, had to convince her that the boys were what was
important, not me. I kept blabbering and somewhere, deep inside myself, I
know I was doing a poor job of trying to explain it all, but no matter how
I tried, it all came out in a jumbled up mess, and made no sense. All the
time Judy just kept telling me to calm down, everything was going to be
fine, but I just couldn't believe her. After all, she was the one who was
letting my secret out and why would I trust her about anything?
And finally I was out of words, done babbling because there was
nothing left to say. I knew I'd failed, and there was no way she could
ever understand how badly I felt; how much I had just wanted to help; how
much the boys meant to me. It was over. It was finally over, and I just
felt tired, so very very tired. I just wanted to go to sleep, and wait for
the cops to come get me. Maybe then I wouldn't be so tired. Somehow I
really wasn't up to caring anymore and just wanted to get away from it all,
get away and rest. I didn't want anyone to bother me, just leave me alone
and let me rest.
To be continued...
Okay girls and boys, its time for cooking class again. I'd call it
cooking 101 but that makes it seem more advanced than it is. So, from the
Fritz School of "If It Tastes About Right, Eat It," comes today's lesson.
Now don't get upset, this is easy. Of course it has to be easy if I can do
it, but that's another story. Today we are going to cook the living
daylights out of some chicken. Since I prefer dark meat, I use thighs or
drumsticks, but you can use chicken breasts if you prefer. It really makes
little difference in the time. Of course first you need some chicken,
however much it will take to feed you and your guests, or family, or
whatever. (You really need to watch out for those whatevers, it is hard to
tell how much they will eat.) I usually allow a couple of thighs per
person, but that is somewhat dependent on the size of the thighs, and the
appetite of the guests. More is better because they make great snacks. A
chicken thigh for lunch the next day, or just before you go to bed is hard
to beat. You'll also need a deep frying pan or a dutch oven. So let's get
started. Take a plastic bag, you can use paper but I use plastic, and put
a half cup or so of flour in it. If cooking for a big crowd, I put more.
To that add a heaping teaspoon of salt, and a teaspoon of ground black
pepper. Now you can also add any seasonings you like at this point. I
also add a teaspoon of cayenne, a tablespoon of paprika, a scant teaspoon
of thyme, and whatever looks good in the cupboard. Mix it up and put a few
thighs in and shake them around a little and then take them out. Continue
doing that until all your thighs are floured. In a frying pan, heated to
about medium high heat, add a little corn oil, like a quarter cup or so.
(While I normally use olive oil for a lot of my cooking, for chicken I like
corn oil, but you can use what you like.) Then proceed to brown all the
thighs on all sides, placing them on paper towels when browned. This pan
should not, repeat not, be a non-stick pan. You want those little bits of
browned chicken that stick to the bottom of the pan. Those bits are called
fond and they add flavor to the gravy. Now don't worry, your chicken is
not finished cooking and is still pretty raw at this point. You just want
it nicely browned on the outside before we go to the next step. Now you
want a medium to somewhat dark brown, not a light brown.
The next step is to make a variation of a béchamel sauce. Don't
panic, that is just a fancy word for a white sauce, or sometimes called a
cream sauce. You've probably been making it for years without knowing the
name. I know I did. The classic béchamel sauce calls for one tablespoon
of butter and one tablespoon of flour per cup of liquid, usually milk. For
a medium sauce, use two tablespoons of butter and flour. For a thick
sauce, use three tablespoons of butter and flour. Now we want just shy of
a medium sauce. So now you need to figure out how much sauce you need. I
allow a third to a half cup per person, so that means that you need a cup
for every two people, and a little less if cooking for a large number.
However, you need enough sauce to cover your chicken thighs in the pan you
intend to finish them in. Error on the side of too much, it doesn't cost
much and is good on potatoes. I'm going to make about three cups of sauce,
so I now check the bottom of the frying pan for oil and chicken fat. I'm
going to use that in place of the butter normally found in the sauce. I
want six tablespoons of it in the bottom of the pan. Normally I have to
remove a little of the fat from the bottom of the frying pan because of the
chicken fat that cooked out of the thighs when browning, but if there isn't
enough, add some butter to make the right amount. Turn the pan down to
medium heat. I then add my six tablespoons of flour, (from the bag I shook
my chicken thighs in. After all, why waste it, and you have already
seasoned it.) and just cook it until the flour is no longer raw, a minute
or a little less, stirring all the while. (In this step try to scrape the
bottom of the pan and start loosening those bits stuck to the bottom of the
pan.) It will quit bubbling and start to act differently when it is ready
for the next step. DON'T brown this flour. While it will taste fine, it
won't look as nice. Above all, don't burn the flour, then it won't taste
nice. Then add one and one-half cups of homemade chicken stock. Scrape
the bottom of the pan well to get all those little bits of fond loose, and
then add one and one-half cups of milk. I use evaporated, sometimes called
canned milk, undiluted. Let this come to a light boil, stirring most of
the time. Salt and pepper to taste. If there is room in the frying pan
for your sauce and thighs, just put the thighs in the sauce. If not, put
the thighs in a dutch oven or whatever pan you decide to use, and then poor
the sauce over them. You can finish them on top of the stove or in the
oven. In either case, you want the sauce, now called gravy, to just bubble
now and then. As it cooks, it will get a little thicker. If it gets too
thick, add a little more milk just before serving and stir in well. Cook
this for twenty-five to thirty minutes at a simmer, or until the meat is
well cooked clear to the bone. Take the thighs out and check the thickness
of the gravy, adding milk if a little thick, or cooking a few more minutes
at a slightly higher heat if thin. Be sure to stir or scrape the bottom of
the pan occasionally to keep it from scorching. Remove the thighs to a
platter and put the gravy in a bowl to go over mashed potatoes.
For what its worth, when I make chicken stock, I reduce it some so
that it is stronger flavored than what one buys in the store. I fact, I
almost never buy chicken stock from the store. I have to be really
desperate to do so. However if you insist on using stock from the store,
take two cups and cook until it reduces to one and a half cups. That will
concentrate the flavors somewhat. If I don't have any stock, and am too
rushed, or too lazy to make any, I just buy some Cream of Chicken soup and
use that instead of making my béchamel sauce. It isn't nearly as good, but
it is almost as good as using regular store bought stock. Just take almost
as much Cream of Chicken soup, straight from the can, as you want gravy,
thin slightly with milk, and heat it up. Then put your browned thighs in
and finish as usual. Be sure to scrape the bottom of the pan while the
soup is heating to get all the fond in the gravy.
When braising vegetables, just remember that some require less
cooking time than others. There are two ways to get around that. The
classic way is to cut things like carrots much thinner than something like
zucchini. That way you can equalize the cooking time. The other way is
too just start your carrots a little sooner. I generally combine the two,
meaning that I cut the carrot slices somewhat thinner than the zucchini
slices. Then I don't have to wait as long before adding the rest of the
vegetables. Anyhow, put a little oil in a frying pan or wok that has been
heated to high heat. (For this I like peanut oil.) Throw in the carrots,
cooking and tossing for a minute or so, then add the cauliflower, cook
another thirty seconds, add the broccoli and cook for another thirty
seconds, and then add the zucchini and cook a little longer. Add a quarter
cup chicken stock, or water, about the same time as the broccoli and keep
tossing the vegetables. When the stock or water is about half, or a little
more evaporated, add a little hoisin, or whatever you like, and a little
cornstarch mixed with water and toss together until the liquids form a
sauce. Don't over-cook. The vegetables should be crisp-tender. I hate
over-cooked zucchini. There is a stage between soggy and raw that is just
right. The vegetables are more tender than raw, but are not soft as mush.
I never timed it but the whole thing takes less than five minutes from the
time you put the carrots in the pan until you are serving them. My carrot
slices are about an eighth inch thick, and the zucchini about a quarter
inch. Don't use the stems on either the cauliflower or broccoli, just the
florets. For enough vegetables for around six people, you will want to add
two to three tablespoons of hoisin, and about one tablespoons of cornstarch
mixed with about the same amount of water. You can add things like a clove
of minced garlic, some grated fresh ginger, or any of a number of things
towards the beginning, like just before you add the cauliflower. You can
also add a couple of tablespoons of vinegar, mixed with an equal amount of
sugar in place of the hoisin for a sweet and sour. Don't like either of
those, use some plum sauce. Both the hoisin and the plum sauce should be
available in the Chinese section of your market. Just use regular cashews,
but toast a few minutes at 350 degrees in your oven on a flat sheet pan,
like a cookie sheet. Throw them in just as the sauce is starting to
thicken up and toss to mix them in. This isn't really rocket science, but
the first time or two I overcooked the vegetables. Then I got the hang of
it and things started turning out like they should. Make it a few times
for yourself until you get the feel for it, and then you can serve it to
guests. If you want that red sweet and sour sauce that you get in Chinese
restaurants, take equal parts of Ketchup, sugar, vinegar, and cornstarch
mixed with water. While some restaurants make a slightly better one, a lot
of them use that formula. You can make as little or as much as you want,
just use the same amount of each. For a quick easy dipping sauce for
shrimp, use ketchup and horseradish. Just take some ketchup and keep
adding ground horseradish until it is as hot as you like it. The hot
mustard that you find in Chinese restaurants is nothing more than dry
ground mustard mixed with a little water, or sometimes with a little rice
wine vinegar. So there, you should now have enough to experiment with for
a while. Good luck.