Date: Thu, 4 Dec 2003 16:18:08 -0800 (PST)
From: Illusion of Conformity <illusionofconformity@yahoo.com>
Subject: Inappropriate Emotions, Part 2

WARNING:  By making the choice to read this story, you are making the
dangerous decision of leaving yourself at risk for developing an open-minded
attitude. This is a work of fiction that deals with the true nature of
man/boy loving relationships - not with the lies society is brainwashed to
believe.  You have been warned...

NOTE FROM THE AUTHOR:  I am really happy that so many of you have expressed
your appreciation for this story.  Thank you to all of those who have sent
their comments.  I appreciate all feedback I receive as well as any future
correspondence.

"Inappropriate Emotions"
by Illusion of Conformity (illusionofconformity@yahoo.com)


~Chapter 2~

	From that point on, all I could think about was Jonathan.  His face
filled my consciousness completely over the course of the next few hours, so
much so that I resolved to return to the arcade later that evening in hopes
of again basking in his presence.  I arrived in the early twilight hours to
find him nowhere in sight.  The X-Men game was now being abused by a couple
of skaters in their late teens that were no where near the radar of my
attraction.  As a matter of fact, the arcade in general had become infested
by the aged.  From older teenagers playing the virtual motorcycle games to a
granny that must have been past eighty playing video poker, the average age
of the arcade patrons must have tripled from only a few hours before!

	I left the arcade wondering if I would every see Jonathan again.  It
was probably too late tonight, or perhaps his parents had taken him
somewhere.  Slowly it dawned on me that this town, as small as it was, was
not exactly subject to my whims and desires.

	I headed for the lake.  It looked quiet and uninhabited, which would
give me the opportunity to have some peace and quiet.  As I reached the sand,
I took off my shoes and walked barefoot upon beach.  The sand felt cool
beneath my feet.  Little waves of dark water collapsed against the sand as I
walked along the shore.  There was nobody on the beach.  I liked it that way.
I could be alone with my thoughts.  That is the way things tended to be
anyway.  I felt like an outcast amongst the human race.  Perhaps I felt that
way because the assumption was valid.

	I sat in a chair made out of wooden boards that somebody had moved too
close to the water.  Occasionally, the miniature waves that spilled along the
banks of the lake would reach my feet.  I sat there and stared into the
water.  My thoughts returned to society and how I fit into the world.  I felt
depressed.  It wasn't that I was unhappy with who I was.  I was perfecty
comfortable in a moral sense with the idea of being a pedophile.  What upset
me was the irrational attitude just about everybody possessed about the
nature of pedophiles in general.  The prevailing schema was that pedophiles
were some grimy old villains who patrolled playgrounds in trench coats while
seeking for the opportune time to pounce on their prey after which they would
throw the defenseless child into a van and drive them to an undisclosed
location where they would stop to offer a sacrifice to Satan before raping
the innocent victim and cutting up the body into little pieces.  This was
anything but compatible with reality.  At least not my reality - which was
the only reality that mattered to me in the end.  Whether the myth of these
appendage-severing perverts came into fruition in real-life was not something
I knew - or wanted to know, for that matter.  I felt about as much loyalty
towards those inaccurate generalizations as I did to the society from which
they spewed.  A society that I knew would hate and reject me if they knew who
I really was.  I knew in my heart that I would never hurt a child...no matter
how much the rest of the herd thought those of my species of sexuality were a
liability.

	I stood up and was about to go home when something ahead caught my
attention.  It looked like I was not alone in my midst of ponderings.
Somebody was sitting on the ship dock ahead and I figured I would check it
out.  The ship dock itself was for little sailboats or motorboats that people
used for waterskiing.  Nobody else was about except for that figure, which
appeared to be a child sitting at the edge of one of the docks with his or
her feet in the water.  The child looked a little unhappy from the posture he
or she was in so I resolved to go and say hello.  My little companion did not
turn around as I set foot on the same little dock.  I walked over and sat
down next to the child but leaving some room in-between us.  I likewise
dipped my feet into the lake and looked to my right to be shocked that this
being was Jonathan!

	"Hey! Aren't you the kid I saw at the arcade today?" I asked.  The boy
turned and looked at me, confirming my suspicion.  The moonlight revealed a
trace of wetness from Jonathan's eye and down his cheek, beckoning me to ask
him to tell me what's wrong.

	"You look a little down.  Are you alright?"

	"I don't know" he said, raising his knees to his chest and wrapping his
arms around them.  He looked straight ahead and did not care when the wind,
now beginning to pick up a little, blew hair onto his face.

	"It's alright.  I get down sometimes, too." I said "It helps to talk
sometimes so if you wanna do that I'm here." I began to wonder if I should
have said that.  After all, I barely knew this kid.  I suppose the worst-case
scenario would be that he would tell me to leave him alone and we'd leave
things at that.

	"My parents don't really like me much," he said, "Not so much my mom
but my stepfather."

	It was heartbreaking coming out of his mouth.  Here was this amazing
boy I adored telling me that someone whose duty it was to ensure his
happiness didn't want any part of it.  If that wasn't irony, nothing was.

	"I'm sorry to hear that, kiddo." I said, softly putting my arm around
him.  "I don't know if it matters much to you, but I'll be your friend if you
want me to be."  There, I had said it.  The kid probably thought I was some
kind of weirdo, but I wasn't going to spend the rest of my summer second-
guessing myself and thinking what-if.  I let my feelings be known - or at
least those that I could rationally have be known - and then braced myself
for rejection.

	Jonathan slowly turned and looked at me.  He brushed aside some hair
that had gotten onto his face and spoke:

	"Hey, that's real nice of you.  But you don't have to do that."

	"That's okay; I want to"

	"Why?"  He asked that question as if to address how it was possible
that someone like me, a twenty year-old in the prime of the heterosexual
interpretation of life would want anything to do with a sniveling little kid.

	"Because I think you're cool...and because I think we could both use a
friend." I said.

	Jonathan smiled slightly.  It was nice to see him smile.  He extended
his hand.

	"I'm Jonathan, by that way, but you can call me Johnny."

	"I know, you told me your name before.  I'm David; my friends call me
Dave."

	"I guess I'll call you David then" he said with a smile.

	We both laughed.  His giggle reverberated in my ears, bringing upon me
a state of euphoria.

	"Hey, wanna go to Waterslide World tomorrow?" I asked.  "It's right
down the road."

	"I don't know if my parents will give me money."

	"It's alright.  If they don't, I'll get you in."

	"Wow.  That's nice of you." He said.  "Where do you wanna meet?"

	"How about here at the beach at 10 in the morning.  Is that ok?"

	"Ok"

	I couldn't believe I just set up a date with this boy.  A few hours ago
I didn't even know him and now I was taking him to a water park!

	"Hey, I should probably get going or my stepdad won't let me go to the
park tomorrow."

	"Good idea.  I'll see ya tomorrow then." I said.

	"See ya!" He chimed.

        He walked down to the end of the dock before the turned around and gave
me a wave while smiling.  Then he walked up the grassy hill and out of sight.
I was so dazed at that point that I thought I was going to fall backwards
into the water.  Somehow I managed to keep my balance and avoid humiliation
before what looked like a big day.