Date: Mon, 28 Dec 2015 14:25:14 +0000
From: Chezdon <chezdon1997@gmail.com>
Subject: Innocence Waning Chapter 13

Chapter 13

The remainder of the school day passes like a blink of an eye. My mood
improves proportionally as the dusty feeling of my wine hangover subsides
after I digest the half of a chicken and coleslaw that I inhaled at
lunch. After the final bell sounds, I stop and have conversation with some
friends that I hadn't enjoyed pleasant words with in quite some
time. Besides talking about the footy and gesticulating wildly whilst doing
so, I casually state that I am going to plan yet another get-together in
the short term that rivals the doo that I spontaneously had last Saturday
which has been discussed far and wide in the halls and also across the
digital divide of social media. My occasional mates who are languishing on
the footpath outside of the school gates who are waiting to get picked up
express their enthusiasm with fist-pumps and quick yet brisk hugs before I
begin to walk towards the tram stop. The pleasant weather has allowed the
gardeners to complete their daily duties today as the grass that borders
the footpath has been cut, however the spoils of their human labour are
strewn all over the place like shrapnel in an Iraqi battlefield. The
noisome smell of the pungent freshly-cut grass would certainly cause Jayden
to hold his breath and then flee across the road to get as far away from
the smell as quickly as possible so I doubt he has hung out for long
waiting for his ride home in misery, which is why I assume I am walking the
path alone today. Arriving at the tram stop on St Kilda Road, and after
boarding the air conditioned hulking piece of public transport which slowly
glides toward the Melbourne CBD only seconds later, I feel a sense of
disappointment that Jayden wouldn't go to the cinema with me today. It
works out for the best though as I resolve to go home and complete all of
my required reading, study and assignments that have been thrust upon me
and not just stuff about, knowing that I am going out tomorrow evening with
Shaun.

The commute home is uneventful and I spend my idle time catching up on text
messages and social media as first I languish on the tram and then casually
stroll back to my apartment by foot in Southbank. I make an attempt to
finalise all of the outstanding digital conversations, or at least get to
the point on the various social media feeds so that my presence will not be
missed. I send the last text message to Austin saying that I miss his smell
and that I really enjoyed seeing him today. As I visualise Austin smiling
as I tap send, I finally comment that I look forward to taking him out on a
date on Friday before plugging my phone into the charging core and
abandoning it on my bed once I have returned home to the eerily quiet
apartment. Having some privacy afforded to me in the first time in a week
encourages me to strip off my school uniform and haphazardly toss the items
of clothing on top of my dirty clothes from the spoils of day that has
recently past. I then collect all of the worn clothes from my floor and
then take them into the laundry room and toss the errant clothes aside like
they mean nothing. I organise a new pile of filthy apparel that needs the
attention of the maid next to the sink after noticing Austin's clothes were
deposited like rubbish in the basin as per my request earlier. I discover
his white boxer briefs rolled up in a wad under his dirty trousers, socks
and shirt that he methodically abandoned this morning and a smile forms on
my face. Taking a very keen interest in his white Bonds boxer briefs, I
pick them up to inspect them and then see they are riddled with yellow
stains, and because the once fresh cum from the morning was allowed to dry,
the cotton fabric in various places has stuck together. At first I am
disappointed that he would not let me get him off, let alone watch him
pleasure himself after I woke up looking for some action but then I recall
the throbbing headache that I was enduring and assume that it would have
distracted me sufficiently from his equally throbbing cock. Assuming again
that everything is going to work out for the best and if I am patient, my
brain knows that if I am going to form a sexual relationship with
Austin. It will happen naturally and I know that I shouldn't rush him or
even myself for that matter. After quickly smelling the crotch of his
underwear like a pervert in the Chinese laundry would and not noticing any
scent, I roll the fabric up and place them inside of the trouser leg that
he left behind. When the maid sorts the dry cleaning from the laundry, I
wonder if she will be mortified even though she has seen soiled jocks
numerous times before. I always use my underwear to clean up my mess up
after jerking off so I am sure that the lazy maid is used to finding such
gifts.

I walk to the kitchen dressed only in my red boxer briefs to retrieve a
bottle of San Pellegrino. The cold bubbly water revitalises my innards and
after stopping to quietly look at the Melbourne skyline outside for some
seconds and giving my arse a good scratching, I not only return to my room
but close my door and finally decide that I am motivated to study. I read
and write diligently for hours unencumbered by technology, teenage dramas
or the various characters that manage to occupy the virtual centre stage in
my young life. When I finish reading the last published line of The
Metamorphosis I spontaneously laugh out loud as I grasp what my father was
referring to when making the comparison between the main character in the
novella who is called Gregor, the travelling salesman who morphs into an
insect for no apparent reason and when he does, how his family feels a
sense of relief. The father in the novella then fires the cleaning lady,
which I secretly wish my father would do to our domestic help since she is
so lazy, and the final scene of the tale demonstrates how the character
Greta has managed to grow up to be a fine looking babe, which makes her
parents go about the task of finding her a husband. Greta could be like
Austin as he would look like a well-figured lady if I dressed him up like a
girl, just with better hair I muse. My mind wanders again and I think of
what I want to do to Austin and his various orifices, but quickly banish my
lurid thoughts by returning to the kitchen to retrieve another bottle of
San Pellegrino. Drinking the sparkling water looking at the Melbourne
skyline again makes me feel claustrophobic in the apartment and it is then
I feel restless and realise that if I want to go for a run, I have around
an hour until the sun sets completely. I resolve to get some exercise so I
can really work up an appetite and consider what Kafka wrote about in a
much simpler time in far greater detail. I walk quickly back to my bedroom
room and dress myself with some clean shorts and one of my 5 Seconds of
Summer concert shirts after slipping on my Nike shoes. Quickly transformed
into a running machine, I jog out of the front door grabbing my keys in the
process.

After fleeing from the boredom of the foyer of the building again and thus
the monotony of study, my run commences at the same place where James was
struck down by Austin with the cricket bat. The memory makes me laugh as I
first replay the scene in my head and then realise that I am unburdened by
my phone and music. Having only the noises of the city to accompany me on
my journey, my imagination reverts to Kafka and Gregor the insect. How its
family came to terms with the ridiculous bug and its transformation has
some correlation to my recent revelations about my sexuality. Thoughts then
evolve to my other classes and ridiculous comments that were uttered by the
lecturers today and how they put their left-wing slant on
everything. Before realising that I have been both lost in and amused by my
thoughts, I realise that I have run to Port Melbourne via the pedestrian
footpath yet again. I wave at the business owner who recognises me whilst
he stands on the outdoor platform of his Beacon Cove café no doubt
judging the Southbank teenage caffeine addict running past before I turn
sharply right and run towards Westgate Park. I am pleasantly surprised that
I have so much energy in reserve since I have consumed minimal
carbohydrates today, but feel that my fuel source is now solely dependent
on adrenaline and the thoughts that my wildly active mind are not only
devising but are processing in overdrive. At the perimeter of the park I
convert my fast run into a slow gait just so that I can spy on the blokes
seemingly hibernating in their motorcars in the parking lot. I then take
some time to watch the men wandering around aimlessly and pretending to
look around innocently. I am far enough removed not be noticed and I
justify to myself that even if the Police were in the area interrupting
lurid acts again and suddenly drag a pair of gentlemen from the protection
of the trees and bush kicking and screaming, I legitimately look like I
have been exercising since my hair, face and shirt is saturated in
sweat. The look of a shocked innocent teenage boy could be feigned very
easily. Whether my motivation to come to this place was just to reminisce
about what I could have had enjoyed the other day, which would have been an
act of instantaneous gratification, or if it was to prove to myself that I
am indeed patient and can wait to get exactly what I want is an enigma at
the moment. Observing the position of the setting sun in the sky, I quietly
predict that I have about twenty minutes until the sun sets. Having roughly
six kilometres to run before I am home seems simple however I want to beat
the full setting of the sun so I will myself to abandon the observations of
the human zoo and start my commute home. Retreating from the boundary of
the park, at first I jog and then increase my pace to a run and follow the
route that I originally took from Southbank, like I have done now many
times over the last few days. I always knew that I was a creature of habit.

At the far end of Sandbridge Beach, I observe a dispersed group of men who
have stripped completely naked and are just hanging out on or around their
towels or simply just wandering around aimlessly. Unlike the public
toilets, this beach doesn't seem to be a place that you would hook up
because of the lack of saltbush in the area and I think that maybe they
just congregate there to look at one another slyly. They see me running
past so I wave at them collectively and one of them waves back. His penis
sways in the same manner as his arm and it doesn't seem like any of them
care that traffic, workers at nearby Webb Dock, or even impressionable
teenagers who are toddling past can see what they have on offer. Like the
nude men, I feel a sense of freedom now that my sexuality is no longer
captive like a penis in a Speedo, as I continue bolting past the presumably
gay blokes who stand in the shallow water like fish, their oiled bodies
perched in the same place so the setting sun shines its weak light on them
as they look out over the bay with their hands clasped behind their backs.

My run takes me past barbeques and picnic rings on the foreshore that have
always been abandoned when I have travelled past in recent days. I spot a
few Muslim families congregated around food where meats are smoking, where
the by-product of the hookah fills my lungs and I cough as I watch it be
passed around so various burly men in board shorts can have a relaxed
tote. My stomach starts to grumble as the charcoaled meat smells delicious
as the muscled arms pass the hookah and the women in their headscarves and
long robes pour drinks and pass food.

As I approach Beacon Cove once again, I wonder if the groups of the gay men
and Muslims know whether they are each occupying their respective sections
of the beach. It would be difficult not to notice the Muslims as they are
rarely seen in Port Melbourne, and the smell of the hookah would give them
away. Whether the Muslims realise there are a group of gays not far from
them without a care in the world intrigues me. Without a god bearing
witness, these two groups manage to carry on with their lives and enjoy
themselves without any worry of prejudice. A sense of satisfaction
overcomes me as I realise that I can rationalise the world's problems as I
continue my run up the pedestrian footpath toward Melbourne as I
intentionally increase my speed knowing that the sun is now waning on the
horizon. I finally emerge near Crown Casino in Southbank, puffed and
saturated in sweat and act as a wet piece of eye candy for the bored office
workers of both sexes that have recently been liberated from their places
of employ. I join these office workers along with the tourists and
teenagers in commuting down the promenade and eventually enter my
residential tower at precisely the same time day officially turns into
night.

The silence in the apartment is once again welcomed as I strip off all of
my wet clothes, including my saturated underwear and proceed to toss
everything into the sink in the laundry room, leaving my shoes on the floor
behind. I immediately walk towards my bathroom and feel a sense of calm as
the soft beige carpet fibres brush against my raw and sensitive feet in
transit before standing on the cold white tiles back in the room of relief
where cold water inevitably washes the sweat from my temperate body. After
a short shower and drying off, I experience a sense of content for the
first time in ages as I walk around my room naked with my hands clasped
behind my back, emulating the men relaxing at Sandbridge Beach.

Feeling isolated from the world for a change, I check the local news on my
laptop and after logging into Windows, my Google Inbox appears. I delete a
few spam messages before spotting an e-mail from Lord Voldemort, my
illustrious mother. It is a short e-mail where she expresses both her
delight and joy that I made contact with her and articulates a 'great
desire' to meet up with me soon to chat. She suggests Thursday evening if I
can manage to travel to her house if it is not too inconvenient,
considering my studies and important commitments of course. Being sensitive
to the fact that she probably isn't in the best condition and silently
wonder if she is even mobile, I quickly relent and respond indicating that
I look forward to visiting her home and ask her to send me the address
along with the time that I should be expected. That was simple enough. I
open a new tab in the Google Chrome browser and start to type the hyperlink
for the amateur porn site that I like to view from time to time, but the
combination of fatigue, hunger and pain in my legs catches up with me and
am I forced to placate my overwhelming desire for food before I subject my
cock to the rigours of my hand.

Knowing that I do not have to walk the runway in a fashion show tonight, I
put on a pair of pink shorts and a black singlet before literally jumping
backwards on to my bed and grabbing my phone in one action. Having missed
numerous calls and text messages from Mel concerns me as I first notice
them on my display, so I ring her back. She probably wants me to pre-heat
the oven or something equally important and I patiently listen to the
ringing sound and pick at my teeth.

As soon as she answers, I quickly blurt out words. "Sorry I was studying
and then running."

She cuts me off mid-sentence. "It is okay. First, I don't want you to
stress, because everything is okay."

"What do you mean? What happened?" My heart starts to race.

"Your father and I were in an accident earlier. We were in the back of an
Uber and it got t-boned by another car. We are banged up, but we will be
just fine." Mel has a monotone voice and I immediately wonder why my father
hasn't called or sent a text message. "Don't worry Chez."

"Where are you? I will come right now! How is Dad?" I really don't know
what to ask as a million thoughts are rushing through my head.

"We are at the Alfred. I won't lie to you Chez. He has some internal
injuries as he wasn't wearing his seat belt and was on the side of the car
that got hit. He isn't in critical condition, so don't worry about him. He
will be fine, but he will be in the hospital for a few days as he has some
broken bones." Mel is still speaking like a robot. "He is asleep now, so I
am going to stay here until he wakes up and then I will come home for the
night. There probably isn't much point of you coming down here and sitting
around at the hospital. It is best if you study and stay at home, if you
can manage it."

"Fair enough. Are you okay Mel?" It seems as if she rehearsed her speech
regarding my father, so in answering my question she reacts with a bit more
emotion.

"I am banged up, but I will be fine. I might walk up the street and have a
glass of wine to take the edge off though." Mel laughs which makes me
laugh. I know what bar she is referring to as the licensee remains on high
alert for the Melbourne Grammar schoolboys coming in and will eject anyone
that doesn't possess a state identification or passport that looks like
they even have a semblance of youth about them. "Did you have a good day?
Have you eaten dinner?"

Even during dark days, Mel worries about me and remains chipper. "My day
sounds like it has been much better than yours so don't worry about me. I
haven't had dinner yet but I will grab a dodgy curry from Southgate or
something. I will be fine." I grind my teeth together and tears start to
form in my eyes. I wipe the tears away with my free hand. "Ring me if
anything changes please, and maybe I will see you later tonight."

"Otherwise first thing tomorrow morning. Love you Chez." She ends the call
before I can tell her that I love her too. She probably wasn't expecting it
and is noticeably distracted however knowing that she will be enjoying some
wine up the street from the hospital, does provide me with a sense of
relief. My mind drifts back to lunch and whether any of the ambulances that
drove past us and up the ramp to the Alfred Emergency Room earlier enjoyed
my father as a guest. Both my frustration and anger levels rise when I
consider that I was eating coleslaw and gossiping whilst Daniel was most
likely being whisked into the hospital in the same complex that I was so
innocently enjoying my lunch at.

Without inspecting the missed text messages or bothering to see what other
calls I missed after my epic afternoon of study and running, I ring
Jayden. He must have been shocked to see my name come up on his phone since
I rarely ring anyone unless it is important. "Hey mate. What are you
doing?"

"Just finished bloody Kafka. It was so bullshit. What are you doing?"
Jayden is making chewing sounds, which in turn makes my stomach rumble and
then tears form in my eyes again.

"Fuck man, I really just need someone to talk to. There is just so much
happening at the moment and now my father is in the hospital, I am just
feeling numb." I sniff and then wipe at my eyes again. "Just so much shit
has happened so quickly, I am just not coping well." It is hard for me to
admit this as I am the one that people look to as seemingly as being in
control all of the time. I internalise so many emotions though, that at
times I do break down and when I do, it gets out of hand. "I just don't
know what to do."

Jayden continues to make chewing sounds. "What do you mean your father is
in the hospital, is he okay?"

"Supposedly he is. I just spoke with Mel but he will be in there for a few
days. Car accident." I move the phone as far away from me as I can before
sniffing again and then return it to my ear and wipe my eyes. "He is going
to be okay but I guess he is all fucked up."

"I will come around to yours now. Is Austin there?" Jayden asks awkwardly.

"No, why would he be?" I know what Jayden is trying to insinuate, but I
blow it off. "I haven't seen him since lunch. Why?"

"Oh okay. Give me twenty minutes mate. I will be there soon." Jayden hangs
up and I take a long deep breath. I shouldn't be feeling so emotional since
everything is technically under control, but all of the little things
spinning in their places like tops are poised to fall waywardly.

I quickly roll off my bed and return to the laundry room and search the
trouser pockets that I wore today for some money but then realise that I
used it all buying lunch. Why does everything have to be so goddamned
expensive in Melbourne? I retrieve a one dollar coin and a twenty cent
piece and consider going to the local IGA market to buy a tin of cat food
to eat as that is all I can afford. From memory there isn't much in the
refrigerator since whatever is purchased fresh on a daily basis is consumed
on the same day however I am sure that I can find a can of soup or
something equally boring if I look hard enough. I then recall that there is
money in my father's drawer and subsequently wander into his room and look
through his nightstand and find the wad of fifty dollar notes that I
previously returned to the drawer on Saturday. I spot the corner of the
plastic bag that contains a mixture of cocaine and flour barely sticking
out from under some papers, with a couple of watches discarded on top of
the heap acting like paperweights. I remove two fifty dollar notes and the
familiar small plastic bag and then head to the kitchen. I am positive that
my father will not care that I have borrowed any money especially
considering the circumstances. I then ponder as to whether a little of the
hybrid blow will stimulate me and perhaps reverse my depressed yet
emotional feelings that have amassed in the last few minutes.

Scavenging through the refrigerator yields nothing appetizing or even
appealing to eat. Fresh fruit, vegetables, bottles of water, beer, cider
and sauces litter the shelves and compartments. I remove a bottle of apple
cider and quickly pop the top off of it and drink the contents in thirty
seconds flat. Feeling partially refreshed, I repeat the process again and
my body thanks me for hydrating it after the long agonising run. I open the
wine refrigerator and remove a bottle of 2007 Rusden 'Black Guts' Shiraz,
which was produced in the Barossa Valley and then go on a hunt for a
corkscrew. I doubt my father will miss a bottle of this vintage as I am
very aware of the many cases sitting in the storage cage and deliberately
violate the standing house rule not to drink wine sourced from that
particular Australian wine region. The corkscrew grants me access to the
magenta-coloured treasure and I fill up a glass and then take refuge at the
bar stool and after a few slurps retire to the living room and play the
latest album by The XX. I get lost in my dark incongruous thoughts whilst
staring out the window listening to the moody music and drinking wine, and
decide that I want to snort some of the leftover drugs before Jayden
arrives. Like an expert illicit drug user now, I replay the snorting
exercise after depositing a mound of the stimulant on the glass table and
then manually adjust it into two distinct lines with a business card that
was left behind. After permitting five songs to play in their entirety, the
day fully turns into the night without much occasion or notice. The
obnoxious sound of the video intercom explodes much like my nose wants to
with a sneeze after I quickly inhale the two lines of white powder that I
crafted. Assuming half of the stash is now flour, I double my previous
intake which encourages me to squeeze my nose closed with my fingers and
will myself not to sneeze after the drug ends up somewhere within my nasal
cavity. The intercom bell rings again and I at first want to rip it off the
wall to silence it for all posterity. However this time around I see
Jayden's smiling face on the display and press the appropriate buttons
granting him access to the floor without muttering anything. The remains of
the white powdery substance remain on the table so I put the newspaper on
top of the chaos and also make sure to hide the small plastic bag under
it. A few seconds later, feeling delighted that I have concealed my
excesses, I open the front door at the same time the familiar 'ding'
announces that the elevator has arrived and after the lift doors open, my
neighbours exit into the corridor, followed by Jayden. I raise my glass in
the direction of my middle-aged high-rise neighbours who I only ever see
travelling between floors and they nod their heads before disappearing into
their apartment. Jayden quickly walks past me and drops his backpack in the
foyer before I let the door close behind him.

"Getting into it already are you? Can I have a glass?" Jayden walks towards
the living room. "So what the fuck is going on mate? You look like shit."

I realise that my hair must look wild and my pink shorts and black singlet
don't exactly match. I haven't done anything with my general appearance
since getting out of the shower. "Sorry to offend, but I went on a run
earlier. What did you tell your mother?"

"If you can believe it, I told her the truth. I told her that Daniel and
Mel were in an accident and that I am going to hang out with you. She
wanted you to come around to ours but I told her that you will not want to
leave your air conditioned castle in the sky, which is probably true." I
follow Jayden into the kitchen and he retrieves a wine glass from the
cabinet. "Wow, shit from the Barossa Valley tonight, Jesus. You must be
feeling bad. When you talk to your parents next tell them my mother sends
them love, hey?"

After Jayden pours a glass of wine, we tap our respective glasses together
in unison. "That I will do." After taking a drink and sniffing the product
a few times, I continue. "I e-mailed Voldemort earlier and she responded. I
am going to go see her on Thursday." Knowing this is an additional stressor
and it is now weighing on my mind, I drink the rest of the wine in my glass
and then quickly fill it up again. Jayden is studying the label of one of
the empty bottles of cider that I previously left on the counter.

"That is good news mate. I think seeing Voldemort will be good for you. I
guess you aren't going to do any study tonight then?" Jayden drinks the
last drops of cider that were left in the bottle which I assume that I
purged. "Cheers!"

"Funny you say that. When I got home, I did about three hours of study. I
read the stupid Kafka shit and then went for a run. When I got back, I felt
relaxed and in control of my life and then all of this shit happens." I
look at my hair in the mirrored splashback and then feel embarrassed as it
looks ridiculous. Jayden will not care though and I have nothing to prove
by not being suitably dressed and properly preened around him. "I am just
waiting for James to unexpectedly turn up for round two of batting practice
just to complete this shit of a day." I look at Jayden and chuckle.

"Should I even mention Kafka?" Jayden smiles knowing that he will get a
reaction. "What did you think of that shit?"

"Fuck Kafka! I have done enough study for the day and I have every
intention of going to school tomorrow just to tell everyone what I think of
that filthy man and the insect. I will stop around at the Alfred and see my
old man at lunch if he is still there. It didn't sound like he is getting
out of the hospital any time soon though so maybe you want to come with?" I
pick up my wine glass and the wine bottle and walk into the living room,
sit on the lounge and put my feet on the newspaper that is concealing the
drugs. I am not sure of what sort of reaction Jayden will have if he sees
the blow, especially since it has only been a few days since we indulged
upon the graces of the original score socially. "I can't believe that bloke
turns into a filthy insect. I wonder if that is what my father meant about
Austin's father."

"Wait, what?" Jayden turns from the window and gives me his undivided
attention. "What do you mean?"

"Last night my father told Austin that the salesman character in The
Metamorphosis reminds him of Austin's father. There were some interesting
themes in that story, so for old Gregor the filthy insect to meet his
demise after being a horrific figure in the lives of that family is rather
comical really. I know that my father hates Kevin McGuire with a passion
for some reason, but when I read the story, it was like various characters
in the silly book all came to life. Austin could easily be the Greta
chick." I turn up the volume of the music a bit and then put both of my
feet on the floor, making sure that I do not move the newspaper.

"Speaking of a bitch." Jayden laughs and puts his feet on the table. "Are
you actually taking this so-called relationship with Austin seriously or
are you just playing with his little insect-like mind? I was watching him
stare at you today with his protective big bug eyes. He looked like a
kangaroo caught in headlights." I notice Jayden is not drinking much wine,
but I still reach over and grab the bottle so that I can top up his glass
like a good host and more importantly pour myself another round.

I take a moment to look out the window and then close my eyes and listen
closely to the lyrics of the song that is playing whilst I think about the
appropriate question regarding Austin.

Fade out of view

I wouldn't do that to you

I wouldn't leave us alone

When we could be close, close, close

"Fuck my nipples are as hard as a rock and they hurt. Sorry mate." The look
on the face of Jayden quickly turns from that of a relaxed amused teenager
to one of pure shock and horror as I pull off my black singlet and toss it
onto the living room floor. I briefly look down at my nipples and touch
each of them with the side of my wine glass and wince. I don't understand
why they are so sensitive. "I admit, my new relationship with Austin took
me by surprise, especially after I woke up today and realised everything
that happened yesterday was not just some silly dream."

"So did you fuck him? Sorry to ask but you were looking really tired this
morning mate. Hell, you still do!" Austin continues to probe me for
information after having a sip of wine. "I just figured that you had a long
night of pounding his arse. I can't imagine him putting his schlong into
you, and I am not even really sure if I want to know that information to
tell you the truth." Austin takes a sip of wine and places the glass on the
table. "Can I change the music? This stuff is making me want to cut
myself." Austin reaches for the remote control before I have a chance to
answer.

I swirl the contents of the glass and inspect the marks that my lips have
left on the rim before carefully setting it down. "Go for it mate. Find
something more upbeat and I will get us some cheese. I think we have some."
I walk into the kitchen and begin to rifle through the refrigerator
desperately hunting for some sharp smelling cheddar knowing that will
complement the earthy taste of the red wine. Finding a block of cheese next
to the eggs, I remove it and find a knife to slice it up on a cutting board
and then go on the hunt for some crackers, which we seemingly have an
endless supply of. The album being played changes in the distance and I
pause for a few seconds until I recognise that it is The Smiths Greatest
Hits and then organise the crackers and slices of cheese into asymmetric
lines on a plate, attempting to appear somewhat civilised like a gracious
host. Returning to the living room, I see Jayden lounging back comfortably
and browsing the newspaper, taking an unexpected interest in an article
about union corruption. He doesn't look up at me as I place the plate of
cheese and crackers on the glass table on top of the errant powder,
covering it and the wayward plastic bag, which was left exposed when Jayden
took an interest in reading the left-leaning rag. I take a deep breath and
then sit down.

"So, did you fuck him? You never answered." Jayden loses interest in the
article or at least feels it is not as interesting as my sex
life. "Spending the night with the boy on the same day that you get
together hey. You move pretty fast, Chezdon. I am proud of you." Jayden
returns his attention to the newspaper.

"Believe it or not, we didn't have any fucky fucky or sexy times last
night. I actually fell asleep after he put on one of the damned Lord of the
Rings movies." I carefully reach for my glass of wine and then grab a piece
of cheese, which I consider the start of my long overdue dinner. "It wasn't
like I didn't try, but I found his cum stained underwear this morning. I
guess he got off whilst I showered." I laugh like a madman and swallow the
piece of cheese and drink some wine.

"Too much information mate, but it is still good to know. I know it has
been a hard day for you, between Voldemort, that car accident and even
pretty-boy Austin's shit, and I can understand why you probably want a few
drinks to take the edge off, but you should probably give the drugs a miss
mate." Jayden places the newspaper on the table next to the plate of cheese
carefully. "Just take it easy mate. I don't want to have to visit both you
and your old man in the hospital tomorrow."

I lower my head and cover my eyes with my hand as the tears begin to well
up and I manage a single sniff. After a few deep breaths, I regain my
composure and take a big whiff of the wine from the glass. "Sorry mate. I
was just feeling emotional earlier and you know that doesn't happen
often. Not only a minute ago but after I heard the news about my father. I
am really overwhelmed actually, which is hard to admit. I was thinking that
a little of the blow would just bring me back up." I drink the rest of the
wine in my glass and reach for another cracker and piece of cheese. Jayden
is staring at me which makes me feel uncomfortable, so I decide to just
keep speaking. "Austin described me as a sun burning red hot with sexual
energy and he doesn't want to do any sexual stuff until we have at least
had one date and that isn't happening until Friday." I eat the cracker and
slice of cheese and wash it down with some more wine.

"What happened yesterday wasn't a date?" Jayden then grabs a piece of
cheese, sits back and crosses his legs and inspects me. "You are red hot
every day of the week mate. I mean from a temperature aspect. It is like
you are never cold."

My mind is racing as I take another sip of wine and reach for another piece
of cheese. "Yesterday was more of a confessional over chicken at the
Nandos, then of course cricket batting practice on the street followed by
the courtroom of Judge Judy up here later on with the coppers." The sharp
taste of the cheese cleanses my palate and I reach for another
slice. "Honestly, I am just so horny! Look at my nipples, why else would
they be so sensitive that they hurt?" Jayden rolls his eyes and then
scratches his arm. I can hear the sound of his fingernails scratching the
epidermis. Another sip of wine is followed by another piece of cheese and
the flavours oddly satisfy me. "When I was on my run earlier, I thought of
going into the public toilet with the hope that someone would suck me off
if you can believe it." I return the glass of wine to my lips and sip it
very slowly so I can observe Jayden's reaction.

"Goddamn mate that is funny. Since we are telling bizarre stories, not long
ago I was having a shit in the toilet at the cinema. Some bloke in the
stall next to me was having a wank as I saw the shadow on the floor. So I
decided to get off too as it was really exciting. Just as I was about to
blow, the shadowplay next to me stopped, but I carried on, so I stood up
and blew all over the door of the shitter. When I sat down on the toilet
again, I looked up only to find the bloke next door watching me over the
wall of the stall. I didn't mind giving a show, but that doesn't mean that
I was running back to the cinema the next day, literally, to do it all over
again." Jayden decides to finally put another mouthful of wine in him after
conveying his sordid story. "You aren't the only one that is horny mate."
Morrissey continues to sing about a tale of woe through the speakers.

I move the plate of cheese, exposing the remains of the drug and lean
forward to pick up the business card that I previously used to organise my
lines with and begin to slowly drag it all back into an organised mound. "I
need to get this back in the bag and add some more flour." I chuckle
softly, whilst I rake the white powder into a centralised location. "Now
that is a story mate. Jesus Christ!"

Jayden moves quickly and sits next to me whilst carefully holding his wine
glass by its stem. He smells like lavender. "Let me help you with that." He
takes the business card from me after tearing off the article on union
corruption from the newspaper.

"Hell, I thought you were going to indulge." I give Jayden a cheeky smile
and then lean back and watch him carefully brush the stimulant and flour
blend onto the piece of newspaper, and then slowly transfer it into the
small plastic bag. "You are missing out mate, we can have a party tonight."
I smile at Jayden and put my hand on his knee. "Have some wine." With my
hand lingering on Jayden's knee I reach for the bottle of wine and top up
my glass and then his. "Fuck! I am so bloody hot!"

"Chezdon, you aren't a bad looking bloke, I will admit." Jayden stands up
and walks into the kitchen and I follow him. He opens the overhead cabinet
door near the refrigerator where the flour is stored and proceeds to repeat
the exercise that we undertook last Saturday. "Or are you talking about
your body temperature you arrogant fucker?" I watch him spoon a small
amount of flour into the plastic bag and then seal it. He tosses it in my
direction. "You look like 'Alex Rider' when you don't have a kilogram of
product in your hair."

I quickly put the small bag of drugs in my pocket whilst walking to the
climate control panel on the wall and turn down the temperature of the air
conditioning. "No you dickhead, I just feel like I am burning up. I always
knew that I was fucking attractive though. Who the hell is Alex Rider?" As
I laugh, Jayden follows me into the living room. "What class is he in?"

"Some blond teenage James Bond." Jayden mysteriously says. "Just some movie
that I saw on television the other day."

Feeling intrigued. I look around for my phone and then realise that I left
it in my bedroom, so I continue walking at top speed to retrieve it. With
the fully charged Samsung technology resting safely in my hand, I learn
that my father is doing well and that Mel will be home in a few hours. More
importantly I am told via text message that I should not stress and to
continue to study and not worry. Another text message from Austin expresses
his hope that I am getting a fair amount of study completed since I have
'gone quiet' and expresses his desire for me to 'be happy' and that it
seems that I am much happier when he is around which in turn makes him
happy. After scrolling through messages from others that I randomly
communicate in my daily life, my heart starts racing faster when I see the
last message is from Shaun who declares that there is an additional
screening for Woman in Gold tomorrow night at 9:15 PM and he is hoping that
we can see that session just in case he has to work longer than planned. I
forgot about this date of sorts and feeling a heightened sense of
awareness, I return quickly to the living room to find Jayden watching
television and chewing on his fingernails. "Score! It is time to party
arsehole!" I exclaim and then plot the quickest route to my wine glass and
retrieve it. "Tonight is going to be an amazing night. Should I order some
pizza?" I start to construct the sentences in my head so I can tell Jayden
about my date with Shaun before he interrupts.

"Any news about Daniel?" Jayden looks concerned as he sees me with my
phone. "Pizza sounds good if you are going to order some."

"Oh yeah, he is doing fine it seems. Mel will be back in a few hours." I
spit out the words and then take a much needed drink. "My old man is as
tough as hell. Don't worry about him." I then search for the Domino's Pizza
application on my phone.

"Mate, right now I am worrying about you. You are all over the place."
Jayden watches me intently which causes me to feel self-conscious and
distracts me from ordering pizza. I spend a few seconds inspecting the
carpet as I devise a witty yet apt response so hopefully he discontinues
this line of questioning. "Just take it easy."

Jayden's request encourages me to take a deep breath and reboot my internal
operating system. I ignore both my raging hunger and endless thirst and opt
to delay taking a much needed drink. I simply place the glass on the table
and take a seat next to my best friend. "You lied to me." I say with the
most serious face that I can muster.

"When? What do you mean?" Jayden quickly forms an incredulous expression
with his mouth and decides that wine will quench both his thirst and mirth
after my question. "What are you talking about, mate?"

"You told me the other week that you fucked Kat. You told us when you
decided to get into the blow the other night which incidentally is
something that I reckon you should be doing tonight." I prematurely pause
and give Jayden a cheeky look again and squint my eyes so he can consider
his relationship with his girlfriend. "You then said the other night that
you never did the deed. So what is it?" After Jayden's comments about
taking it easy, I intentionally bring the glass of wine to my nose, take an
extended sniff of it and then return the glass to the same spot on the
table that I found previously found it. Jayden is watching me like a
vulture would roadkill so this token act I suspect will placate him. Given
that I haven't heard any commentary or associated drama regarding Jayden's
girlfriend in a few days, it makes sense to ask if only to distract me from
the melodrama that is playing out in my life. I reach for a piece of cheese
and place it carefully on my tongue and close my mouth in noticeable
stages.

Curiously I watch Jayden grab his glass and quickly drink the wine
contained in the beautiful vessel. Looking nervous, he urgently reaches for
the wine bottle and pours himself another glass. "So what, I didn't fuck
her. I just didn't want you blokes judging me." He intentionally takes a
dramatic pause and looks me up and down. "I am really surprised that Austin
didn't put out especially if you just lounged around in some pink shorts
and just played with your nipples in front of him."

Feeling like I am on fire with my heart beating one thousand beats per
minute, my minimal dress and slutty appearance has become a distant
memory. I intentionally touch one of my nipples and wince again before
swallowing the small slice of cheese in mouth and taking a gulp of
wine. "You know mate, Austin may be like one of the hottest guys in
Melbourne, hell, maybe Australia, but you are the one that is fuckable."
During my confessional, I put down my glass of wine and lean in and try to
make my lips connect with Jayden's but he uses his arms to quickly fend me
off.

"Chezdon, stop! Mate, stop! I mean it!" Jayden simultaneously shouts at me
and attempts to push me away repeatedly as I continue to advance on him
with the hopes that I can break down his defences, but I can't manage to
get my mouth to his despite launching a blitzkrieg. "Goddamnit stop! Just
get off me!" His western front holds off my attack and I retreat back into
the comfort of the lounge and wallow in the disappointment of my defeat by
turning to my old friend, the glass of wine which always accepts the offer
of my soft lips. "Mate, I really think that you need to calm down and think
about taking a break from the bloody wine and drugs. Obviously you are
fucked up right now. Just calm down."

I quickly laugh and hold the glass near my chin. "I am not fucked up. Far
from it mate. Tell me that you haven't thought just once about having sex
with me." My body freezes in place as my eyes lock onto Jayden's face as he
takes a sudden interest in the television. "I mean we have jerked each
other off before, what is the harm in doing something else?"

Jayden quickly drinks the wine from his glass and then reaches for the
bottle and realises that it is empty. Without comment he walks into the
kitchen, far away from my intense inquisitive stare. In his absence,
memories return and flood my consciousness. Remembering watching a
particularly hot video on xtube.com of an abnormally hung bloke putting his
appendage up the arse of some woman who shouted that she 'wants cock' at
first causes my own dick to stir within my pink shorts as I replay the
memory in my head. Then remembering seeing Jayden's bulge and how it felt
when I first caressed it through his jeans and then when I easily liberated
his penis so I could jerk him off, rapidly gives me a raging boner. In the
recent past he had no problem with me unbuttoning his jeans and then
stroking his throbbing dick with my hand, which in turn shot a hot load of
cum, only for him to return the favour promptly. Jayden returns to the
living room and I hear the metal cap being screwed off of a wine bottle. As
Jayden fills my glass, I grab a pillow and put it on my lap so my excited
state is not revealed. "So Chezdon, what would you want to do?"

I first thought that he would just ignore my proposition however he appears
pensive as he returns to watching the talking heads on the television and
sipping on his wine. Not knowing what to say, I shrug my shoulders. "What
would you want to do Jayden?" I then find some interest in the muted
political commentary being broadcast on the television with Morrissey
continuing to wallow in misery over the speakers. I find a modest amount of
the wine in my glass refreshing as I wait patiently for my best friend to
respond. I find it difficult to keep my eyes in focus and hope that my
elevated heart rate metabolises the alcohol in my body faster. I take a
deep breath.

"You make me laugh mate. As if! I need to piss." Jayden abandons the living
room and walks towards the guest bathroom. I push the red pillow resting on
my lap hard into my crotch, willing it now by force to succumb to my will
and then try to focus on the nonsense that is playing out in Syria that is
now being broadcast on Sky News instead of the talking heads, which oddly
calms me down quickly. After few additional deep breaths and spending a few
seconds trying to focusing my eyes yet again, I realise that I should at
least put Austin's dirty clothes, including his cum stained briefs into the
washing machine just in case he comes over before Friday. I follow Jayden's
path and stumble towards the laundry room.

Walking past the guest bathroom in route, I faintly hear a muffled gasp,
but with The Smiths still playing through the speakers in the living room,
I pause next to the closed door trying to ascertain what is going on and
more importantly verify that Jayden is in fact beating off. I briefly hear
yet another muffled gasp followed by a deep breath which confirms my
suspicion and blood quickly returns to my penis as I listen to Jayden
pleasuring himself through the door. He must assume with the music playing
that even if I walked past the guest bathroom that I would not hear him
jerking off. The drugs and wine give me the required courage as my heart
beats so strongly that I at first I believe it will burst from my chest at
any second.

Knowing that there is no lock on the guest bathroom door, I quickly throw
it open to see Jayden's bare white arse facing me as he quickly ceases his
action. "What the fuck? Get out of here!" He squats and tries to pull up
his skinny jeans without exposing his manhood to me as he shouts out his
demand and the associated expletives. "Leave me the fuck alone cunt!"

I take two quick steps towards Jayden and place my hands on his exposed
thighs as he once again demands that I leave him alone and lets the
expletives flow. He keeps his back towards me as starts to masturbate once
again as my hands move from his thighs and squeeze each of his exposed arse
cheeks with some force. Jayden begins to vigorously flog his penis as he
substitutes his demands for deep moans. Following my instincts, I fall upon
to my knees and spread his butt cheeks apart so that I can look at his pink
tight hairy arsehole. Strangely, I have wanted to look closely at an
arsehole for some time and then wonder how easily it would be for me to
insert my raging boner into it. Either because Jayden feels self-conscious
with me inspecting his holiest of holes or because he is confident that I
will accept what he has to offer, he shuffles in place and manages to turn
around to face me with both his skinny jeans and underwear bonding his
ankles. His hard cock ends up resting a mere centimetre from my face. I
place my hand on his wrist and gently guide both it and his hand from his
schlong so I can look at his dick and then casually smell and then lick his
ballsack. My hand guides his five inches of uncut flesh into my mouth and
Jayden lets out a prolonged moan. My hand slowly moves from the shaft and
then squeezes his balls as I willingly accept his manhood into my mouth
repeatedly and then use both of my hands to grab his arse cheeks from
behind again as I pull his body as close as he can possibly get to my
face. Jayden literally screams as he grabs the back of my head and pulls at
my blond hair from my scalp and forces my face against his crotch as his
haemorrhaging dick blasts streams of cum down my throat. Fortunately the
drugs have opened my sinuses so my body remains oxygenated as Jayden fills
both my throat and mouth with cum whilst I gulp it down as fast as I
humanly can. I nearly choke which causes my hands to squeeze his arse
cheeks extremely hard. As I continue to swallow the remains of his cum and
gently suckle on his hard cock as an afterthought, my index finger finds
his arsehole and I attempt to shove it in. Jayden makes a weird squealing
noise and then pulls my head off of his dick quickly. A drop of his cum
drips onto my knee and I look up at him and meet his eyes, which are
curiously watching me. "I like how you taste." I smile.

I see another drop of cum about to fall onto the tiles so I quickly place
my lips around the tip of his pink cockhead and suck it off and then lick
it for insurance against any further assault on the floor. He squeals again
and jumps in shock. "Chez, no, it is too sensitive!" Jayden squats down
again in an effort to pull up his underwear however I grab his face and try
to kiss him again. "No! not with my cum on your lips!" Jayden laughs and I
quickly not only understand but also appreciate his apprehension and watch
him pull his blue boxer briefs and skinny jeans up far enough to cover his
penis, but not his dark brown pubic hair.

I stand up and my eyes quickly meet his again. "I guess we both finally got
our wish, we got off in the men's toilet." I chuckle as if needing to have
small talk would both diffuse the awkward situation but also give me some
sort of guidance as what to do next.

Jayden brushes my bare chest with his left hand and uses his right hand to
feel the bulge hiding behind my pink shorts. I eagerly watch his hand move
down my sweaty chest and then force its way behind the elastic waistband of
both my shorts and underwear and grab onto my hard cock. "Let's go into
your bedroom." He then abandons my dick and quickly walks past me with his
jeans still undone.

The taste of cum has evolved into a metallic flavour so I decide to make a
detour into the living room and quickly eat two slices of cheese and wash
it down with the rest of my wine before collecting our wine glasses and the
bottle and then traverse into my room and slam the door closed.

Jayden is sitting on the edge of my bed looking bored. "If you use some
mouthwash, you can kiss me if you want." Without making eye contact, he
smiles and starts to inspect the ground again. Taking the hint, I walk
quickly into my bathroom and find the bottle of purple Listerine and
subsequently fill my mouth with it. Its harsh flavour is usually bearable
however when mixed with the aftertaste of cheddar cheese, red wine and cum
makes me gag, however I manage to expel it into the toilet and keep
everything else in me down and quickly return to Jayden without taking the
time to flush.

Standing in front of Jayden as he first inspects the noticeable bulge in my
pink shorts only centimetres from his face gives me the courage once again
after his invitation to lean forward and press my lips against his. After a
mere second he opens his mouth wide enough to allow my tongue access and I
begin to explore the inside of his mouth. I simultaneously use my body
weight to push him down on my bed and use my hand to feel his thigh as I
grind my damp body against his. Although our tongues dance for a matter of
minutes as my cock pushes up against his which quickly returns to life, at
first it seems first like minutes and then hours of constant bliss. After
pulling off his shirt, my hands once again expose his hard dick to the
unnatural air whilst I continue to pass my tongue over every millimetre of
his mouth, tongue, cheeks and teeth. I go back down for seconds and begin
to lick and suck on his rock hard penis again and he squeals so I assume
that I am doing something right. When he tries to remove my head from his
male organ a mere fifteen seconds later, I know he is going to orgasm yet
again but I do not let him and instead allow a few drops of cum to drizzle
into my mouth until not only his utterances of blasphemy become unbearable
but all of the strength in his arms pulls my head off of him and he orgasms
for the second time. I collapse on the bed next to him and look into his
eyes. "Fuck man! That was hot."

Jayden turns his gaze to the ceiling and takes a deep breath. He sits up
and feels my bulge again before quickly pulling up on both my shorts and
briefs and exposing my manhood to first the air blowing from the air
conditioning event above and then to the deoxygenated air that he blows
from his mouth onto the tip of my circumcised penis. I can't help but watch
in great anticipation as he examines my cock before I express my gratitude
with a loud moan when he pulls my shaft back towards him and envelopes it
with his hot and humid mouth. His head begins to rise and fall on my dick
like a well-oiled machine and he grabs my single testicle hard. It doesn't
take long until I let out a sharp gasp and when my breathing becomes
laboured, I shoot my limited semen into Jayden's mouth. He quickly spits my
lifeforce back up onto my chest and then falls back and licks my
thigh. Appearing like he is sampling a new exotic cuisine from the Jaime
Oliver cookbook, he continues to watch my pulsating penis spit out the rest
of its sperm and associated byproduct whilst he licks his lips. "That
didn't taste anything like I thought it would." Jayden looks up at me and
then thrusts his body up on to the bed and takes a position on his back
next to me.

"You never tasted yours?" I slur incredulously. "Yours tastes like a salty
mango yoghurt."

Jayden chuckles and starts to inspect the ceiling once again as we both
allow our penises to air dry courtesy of the cold recycled air that is
blowing on us from the vent above. "No actually. Yours tasted like a salty
well done steak. It must be from all of the shit that you eat and drink."
When there is silence I gently grab my cock, which is still curiously erect
and I take a deep breath. "Sorry, that probably wasn't the nicest thing to
say after doing that deed."

I start to inspect the same plain area of the white ceiling that Jayden is
staring at. "So, does this mean that you are going to tell me that you like
guys or are we just experimenting?" I sit up and pull my underwear and
shorts back over my erect penis. I grab my glass of wine and fill it up
before taking a few sips whilst Jayden considers his answer. I keep my back
facing him, hoping he will not feel like I am putting him on the spot so
that he doesn't feel uncomfortable. I close my eyes and feel a bit dizzy so
I take deep breaths until Jayden begins to speak.

"You are so hard to say no to Chez. I really don't think about guys. Like I
don't notice them or go out of my way to check out Brad Pitt or anything,
but I do think about you and having sex with you if that makes sense. Maybe
I am just obsessed, you know I can get that way sometimes. Can I have my
glass?"

I proceed to fold my hands in front of my face and chew on my thumbnail,
squinting hard to control my world from spinning. After another deep
breath, I reach over and grab Jayden's glass and turn around and hand it to
him. His penis is still exposed and his belly button is not only filled
with cum but there is a small amount smeared just under it. "I would so be
with you over Austin." Jayden props himself up so he can hold the wine
glass. "We don't have to be boyfriends as such or have that title, but we
can enjoy the benefits." I appeal not only to my own desires but I try to
read his mind.

Jayden puts his head back far enough so he can drink the remnants of his
wine class without propping himself up. I reach over and first touch his
flaccid penis and then pull down its foreskin so I can look at his pink
cockhead whilst he thinks. My heart continues to race and I decide to
placate my dry mouth with some more wine. The alcohol quickly vanquishes
the taste of Jayden from my mouth and then the remains of the mouthwash
which was lingering like a bed smell. The room starts to spin again and I
quickly get up and walk with grave intent to the bathroom. Wine, cheese and
cum are spewed into the big ivory porcelain telephone as I make my last
emergency call for the night. After I heave again and have a few seconds to
contemplate my position in life, I manage to slide one of the mirrored
doors closed so that Jayden doesn't have to watch me beg for forgiveness or
mercy at the altar of relief. After some additional heaving and sacrifices
made to the god that we swore to whilst engaging in oral sex, I feel
controlled enough to reach over and close the other sliding door, finally
giving me the illusion of privacy.

Slowly, I use the toilet bowl as a crutch and after getting to my feet, I
flush the evidence of my excesses for the day. I feel a sense of ecstasy as
I splash cold water on my face repeatedly before greedily filling my
tainted mouth with water direct from the tap and after spitting it in the
sink and repeating the process a few times a sense of calm envelopes
me. After wiping my eyes with toilet paper and blowing my nose in my
drunken state, I assume that the drugs have been expelled with my mucous
and my anxiety rises needlessly. Reasoning with myself that there should be
enough of the original white power in the small plastic bag to give myself
a much needed kick so that my party can continue, I liberate the contents
of the small plastic bag on my bathroom counter and quickly snort it
without any sort of plan. Knowing that the mixture is predominantly flour,
I realise that I will have to uptake it all up my nose to get any sort of
effect, which I quickly and methodically execute. After licking what is
left of my father's stash up off of the countertop using my dry tongue, I
find my black towel hanging up and wipe the white reside that has dispersed
over the outside of my nose, face, lips and that which has applied itself
to my wet chest. After taking another swig of mouthwash and spitting it
back into the toilet, I slide the bathroom doors open only to see Jayden
asleep with his soft cock still exposed and pointing towards his belly
button. Taking one last drink of wine for the night reminds me that it
doesn't mix well with the mouthwash and once again I fight the desire to
gag and spew. I forcibly shake Jayden, waking him up and encourage him to
shimmy further up to the top of the bed. He obliges and rests his head
against the pillow that Austin used the previous night and as quickly as he
woke up, returns to sleep. I pull his jeans and underwear off which were
previously bunched at his ankles and toss them on the floor. I literally
climb over his naked body so I can rest my head on my own familiar
pillow. Before passing out the body next to me rolls over to embrace me
tightly and I fall asleep smelling lavender.


*****

An epic chapter, I know. Some readers will be happy that some action
finally happened. Did you think it would happen with Jayden though or were
you holding out for Austin, Shaun or perhaps even the return of James? It
is funny how things work out, but this tale is not close to be being
complete and there is plenty to still tell. e-mail me at
chezdon1997@gmail.com :)