Date: Sun, 12 Mar 2017 09:04:08 +0000
From: Chezdon <chezdon1997@gmail.com>
Subject: Innocence Waning Chapter 28

Chapter 28

"Look at this Chez." Jayden hands me his phone with the `word of the day'
displayed courtesy of dictionary dot com. "It is a really cool word, don't
you think?"

I try to pronounce the word a few times without resorting to listening to
the accompanying audio file. It will teach me how to pronounce the word
that has made Jayden so excited. "Craquelure. I dare you to try to use it
in a sentence somehow today, mate."

Jayden licks his teeth and then his lips and adjusts the grey beanie. "Can
you tell me what it means again?" He swiftly says with a wry grin on his
face.

After clearing my throat, I read aloud in a monotone voice like I normally
would when I am standing at the front of Mr Mackey's class. "A network of
fine cracks on the surface of a painting." I scan the brief definition of
the word again and silently concur it is a cool word.

I hand the white phone back to Jayden and he slides it into his back
pocket. "Chezdon." I revert my attention, slyly taking my eyes off the
exposed hairy legs of the attractive boy that is walking past us. "You my
friend are the living and breathing embodiment of this word."

I scratch my head and then swipe the hair off my forehead. "How so?" I cock
my head to the right and wait for an answer.

Jayden smiles. "You are like a beautiful oil painting that everyone looks
at and admires. However, like an oil painting, you are very high
maintenance and if the pigment or varnish dries up, a network of fine
cracks will form on the painting. Like with your skin care routine, your
running and your obsessive attention to detail, it will not take much for
your own cracks to be exposed and once they are, I fear for those that will
have to put you back together. When you finally break mate, you know all
hell will have broken loose. I obviously hope for both of our sakes, that
never happens. So, you my friend are the living definition of a
craquelure." His smile widens. "Look how smart I am!" He howls.

"That doesn't make any sense mate, I don't think you used the word
correctly." I smile and wrap my arm around Jayden. "Come on fool, I need a
Coke. Your shout."

I open my eyes and I am transported to the here and now sadly. My squinting
eyes take a second to adjust to the light. Austin continues to hug me. I
gently push him away and walk to the guest bathroom, leaving Malcolm and
Austin to needlessly supervise Elvira, who continues to scrub the stains on
the carpet. "Out, damned spot! Out, I say!" I shout as I remove a square of
toilet paper, wad it up and shove it up the nostril that is facilitating
blood dripping onto my shirt. I unbutton my shirt, yank it off and toss it
on top of my leather shoes and bloodied socks. Elvira will sort out this
mess, much like Lady Macbeth does with the spots that she scrubs. I remove
my phone from my pocket, ignoring messages from my peers about my leaked
nudes and call Mel. Her phone is still switched off. I decide that the best
thing to do is send her a message and attach the photos of the bedlam that
Daniel wreaked upon our happy home. I send her a succinct message and then
follow it up with the multiple photos that I took after my beloved father
came home to play house earlier. I pose for a selfie and then send it to
her. I leave the safety of the filthy bathroom and walk to the foyer, take
some additional photos, and finally send them to Mel to demonstrate that we
now live in a war zone.

In a stupor, I wander into the living room, mimicking a velociraptor
again. "I really need a shower. Then let's get out of this shithole. Can we
go to your house Austin?" My feeling of befuddlement causes me to stare
pointlessly at Elvira as she continues to methodically scrub.

"I think I will just go home Chezdon. I have had enough today." Austin
begins to chew on his fingernail before continuing with his spiel. "We
should really talk about what you said to your father earlier though. It
just sounded so fucked up, and when something is that fucked up, it has to
be true." Austin begins to gnaw on his fingernail again. The nail slips
from his teeth and they slam together making a clicking sound.

"What did I say?" I genially ask and scratch the small amount of hair that
has recently grown under my belly button. Malcolm sits down and watches
Elvira continue to scrub at the carpet. "Out, damned spot! Out, I say!" I
repeat what Lady Macbeth said whilst she was sleepwalking. I too feel like
I am sleepwalking right now. Maybe I am and this is all just some fucked up
nightmare.

"That you were raped." Austin begins to chew on two fingers at the same
time and then switches his attention to his thumbnail. "We don't have to
talk about this now obviously." He looks at Malcolm, like secrets should
still exist after what he witnessed earlier.

I shrug my shoulders. A feeling of calm envelops me as I continue to watch
Elvira and ignore Austin. "Oh that. Forget I said that." I cross my arms
and place the palms of my hands in my armpits, feeling both the warmth and
the damp. "I am going to have a shower and clean myself. You can do
whatever you want, but I hope you stay long enough as I really need to sort
myself out. I really doubt Daniel is coming back anyway."

Austin saunters toward me and puts his arms around me, squeezing me
tight. "Are you okay? You are acting weird. We don't have to talk about
what you said right now or anything for that matter, it is okay."

I reach a hand up to my nose, first smelling it and notice the faint scent
of an orchid. I extract the wad of toilet tissue from my nasal cavity
carefully. Austin releases his grip on me and I hop backwards, being
careful not to step on the covered wound on the bottom of my foot. "Yeah, I
am fine I guess. After what happened here, it is rather hard to really say
if I am okay or not, but life goes on right? We live in the present, learn
from the past and look to the future." I take two more steps backwards. "I
am going to have a shower, I will be right back. Why don't you make
yourself useful and find some more wine?"

Austin follows me into my room and I begin to unbuckle my belt. "Can't you
get us some wine?"

"I think you have had enough wine."

"Can I have some privacy then, please?" I sit on my bed and begin to pull
my trousers off. "You have seen it all before, so I don't care." I notice
blood stains on the trousers before I wad them up and toss them on top of
my growing pile of soiled, damaged or worn clothes which patiently wait for
Elvira's attention. I begin to unwrap the bandage from my foot. "If you are
just going to stare at me, at least pour some wine and do something for
us."

Austin shakes his head and pushes his hair off his forehead. "I really
don't think I should leave you alone. There is something just not right
about you." Austin returns his thumb to his mouth and begins to chew on his
nail again.

I smile and stare into Austin's eyes whilst I continue to unwrap the
bandage from my foot. "Sure, stay. Whatever." My throat is dry and I feel
lightheaded. There is no reason to share more with Austin now, he has seen
plenty and heard far too much for my liking and it makes me feel
uncomfortable. He has seen the cracks that have formed in my visage and I
am in desperate need to repair them urgently. The elastic bandage is
finally removed from my foot and it gives me the most pleasure I have felt
all day not to see any blood stains on it. I hurriedly stand up once again
on my toes and step towards Austin. I pull my boxer briefs down and
nonchalantly step out of them before tossing them on top of the worn pile
of clothes. "Do you still like what you see?"

"I am looking at you and not your body and I honestly I am very concerned
at what I am seeing." I grab Austin's wrist and deny him the pleasure of
chewing on his thumb nail again. I forcefully move his hand closer to my
flaccid cock. I prove to be the stronger one and despite his grunting and
desperately attempting to keep his hand from my crotch, I force it there
and rub the back of it against my testicle. "Stop it Chez, you are hurting
me."

"Is that what you want me to say? That whatever bastard forced himself on
me hurt me? Do you want me to tell you how much my arsehole hurt?" I raise
my voice as Austin struggles to pull his hand from my crotch, but my
strength prevents it. "Do you want me to say that I am a sad little panda?
Wouldn't you be sad, or even not feel right if you just endured what I
did?"

"Just stop, let go of me." Austin contorts his body and when he uses his
weight to his advantage, he breaks free from my grasp and steps back. "Go
have your shower. If you don't want to be serious, don't be. Just don't
manhandle me, I don't like it. It is something that your father would do."

I snicker. "You certainly liked it last night when I fucked you. You didn't
want me to stop." I smile. The fond memory that I shared isn't
reciprocated. "I would so have you again right here and right now but all
you want to do is talk. Can't you just get us some wine?" I begin to fondle
my penis, arousing it from its slumber.

"That isn't happening." I sigh and retreat towards my bathroom and Austin
follows. "You aren't acting normal Chezdon. I think the stress and the wine
has gotten to you." I snort a breath of air out of my nose and catch a
glimpse of my face in the mirror. Austin wouldn't understand that the
Oxycontin has thankfully dulled my senses, dissipated the pain in my body
and made his line of questioning barely tolerable. Those pills are what is
getting me through these painful minutes. Fuck, I am so happy that I took
them. "I will just hang out if you don't mind."

"I always knew you were a voyeur. You have watched me for years. Did you
think about me when you were fucking Ron Weasley?" I turn on the shower
tap, walk into the stall and close the door. Austin meekly enters my
bathroom, slides the mirrored entry doors closed and sits on the toilet
seat. I adjust the cold water so more steam is produced and use shampoo to
lather up my closely trimmed pubes, before stroking my dick. "You like to
watch, you pervert."

"Chezdon, you are starting to piss me off." Austin looks at his shoes and
does not pay any attention to the pleasure that I am indulging upon. "Get
your act together and be serious for once in your life."

I place the palm of my left hand against the plexiglass shower stall and
continue to pleasure myself. I close my eyes and see Jayden's blue eyes
staring back at me along with his smile. The expression that shows that he
was so proud of himself when he taught me the word craquelure is on
display. The water gets noticeably hotter. I continue to stroke my dick,
imagining Jayden's mouth on my cut phallus. It doesn't take long before I
cum and when I open my eyes and gasp repeatedly, I watch my semen ejaculate
on the side of the plexiglass in the direction of my boyfriend's
face. Austin is intently watching me. "You could have had that!" I shout
through the stall. "Can you pour some wine please?"

I ignore Austin's unrelenting gaze and begin to wash my hair. For once the
shampoo is used for what it is intended and I quickly wash the hair on my
head and then my armpits. Feeling squeaky clean, I flee the shower stall
and stand before Austin. Spontaneously I shake my body back and forth
violently like a dog, sending drops of water all over Austin, which causes
him to jerk backwards. "Don't." He simply says. I shake my hips back and
forth, which makes my willy flop from side to side near his face. "Just
stop, Chezdon." He pushes my stomach, encouraging me to take a step back.

"Fine, whatever." I re-enact the routine I undertake each morning. Austin
chews on his thumbnail and examines his shoes. I can't get a reaction out
of him even when I blow hot air on him using the hair drier. "How are you
doing? I am sorry you had to see all of that shit." I calmly ask after
turning off the hair drier.

Austin looks up at me. "That was really fucked up Chez. I don't know what
to say." I wrap the towel around my waist and Austin suddenly takes an
interest in my face. "I just want to go home. Of course, you can come with
me if you want. I just don't feel safe here right now."

"Fair enough. It is like a war zone, so I don't blame you." I begin to rub
hair putty into my mane. "It would be good to get the fuck out of here." I
resist the urge to ask for Austin to get me some wine and consider the next
best alternative. I turn on the tap and begin to drink from it and then
release a loud, "ahhh."

My boyfriend stands up and places his hands on the towel that covers my
thighs. "Are you okay?" I wash my hands and then begin to apply moisturiser
to my face, rubbing a large blob of it on the area where my father first
struck me.

"I am as good as I can get considering I was told I was never wanted." I
rub moisturiser on the dark circles under my eyes and take another gulp
from the running cold water tap before turning off its flow. "Life goes on
though. You can pick your friends but you can't pick your family." My eyes
meet Austin's through the reflection in the mirror. I quickly wipe my arse
crack with the towel and then drop it on the floor. After sorting through
my closet, I begin to dress myself, and opt to wear all black once I locate
my pair of favourite skinny jeans on the floor.

"You need to stop taking such hot showers." Austin casually looks through
my closet. "Your back is really red."

I pull my black skinny jeans up to my waist forcibly. "Speaking of red, I
am going to have a glass of wine before we leave if you don't mind. It will
take the edge off." I grab the elastic bandage off the floor and begin to
wrap my foot.

"If that makes you happy mate. Go for it." Austin grabs the overnight bag
that he previously left in my room back when life was more peaceful and it
appeared like he wanted to stay here for the weekend. I find my black
converse shoes under some soiled shirts and briefs and slide them on. After
Austin leaves, I recover my phone from the pocket of my trousers that I
left earlier along with the cash I took from Daniel's drawer and my debit
card.

I halt in my tracks after remembering that I left something else in my
other pocket. I retrieve the plastic baggy that my father tossed on the
floor earlier and grasp it tight. Was this his parting gift to me? Will I
ever see him again? Do I want to see him again? Many questions present
themselves and rather than shove the bag into my pocket, I open it and dump
a bit of the white powder on top of the lid of my laptop. After quickly
glancing out towards the corridor, I take my debit card and craft a
straight line of the powdered substance by tapping and sliding my plastic
card in fluid movements. I roll up a fifty dollar note that I remove from
my pocket and quickly snort the white powder up the nostril that was not
bleeding earlier. If this doesn't relieve the fatigue that is setting in
after having the refreshing shower and a wank nothing will. I bend down two
more times to sniff all the remaining granules. I cough and ponder why the
drug smells like gasoline.

Sealing the small bag once again, I shove it into my pocket. I lick the
edge of my debit card before pushing it into my pocket. Finally, I attempt
to return the fifty dollar note to a manageable form and slide it into my
pocket whilst hobbling back to the living room.

"Let's have one for the road. I need to take the edge off." I announce
whilst looking down at Elvira as I walk around her. "You are doing an
amazing job. Thank you."

"Thank you, Mr Chezdon." Elvira continues to scrub the carpet.

Malcolm stands up. "Good, you are back. I think I will go home."

"Well mate. Sorry about what happened earlier. Have one for the road." I
open the door to the wine refrigerator and begin to look for an older wine
that I know has a substantive amount of monetary value, but one that my
father will have some sort of bastardised emotional attachment to. "It will
take the edge off and it is the least I can do."

Both Austin and Malcolm stand behind me whilst I systematically pull
bottles out and examine their labels, rejecting them repeatedly and
returning them to their cold plastic slots. Austin is the first to offer
advice. "I think you need to relax mate, you are all over the place. Your
father-"

"Goddamnit, I don't want to hear about my fucking father anymore!" I shout
but do not turn around and instead keep inspecting the labels on bottles of
wine. "What is done is done. At the end of the day, all I can do is
apologise for the chaos and violence that you each witnessed. I am sorry."
I locate the bottle that I was looking for and pull it from the
refrigerator and rest it on my knee. "Time is the ultimate mother fucker."
I close the door to the refrigerator and hop up and face Austin and
Malcolm. "No point in living in the past, we can only learn from it. Now
can we have a fucking drink?" I set the bottle on the countertop of the
kitchen island.

Austin sighs and Malcolm turns his attention to my boyfriend. "Mate, I
don't think you are acting normal."

"Stop fucking saying that." I point my finger at Austin and when I realise
that is what my father prefers to do when pissed off, I quickly lower my
digit and force it into my pocket, pushing the bag of coke further into its
recess. "I will deal with that shit in my own time. This isn't the set of
Dr Phil. Can we please have a drink? I think this bottle of wine is worth a
few grand." I grab the bottle and walk around the island and into the
kitchen, setting it on the white marble countertop. As I reach into the
cabinet to source more glassware, I overhear Malcolm and Austin whispering.

I turn around holding three glasses by their stems. Malcolm waves his hand
back and forth in my direction. "No mate, she is all yours. I will have
some Jack Daniels." He points at the drinks cart in the corner that is
overloaded with bottles of alcohol. "Do you mind?"

"That is the spirit!" I enthusiastically shout. "The pun was intended too."
Finally, a reason to smile after amusing myself. I place the glasses on the
kitchen island. Austin walks behind me and grabs the wine bottle and takes
a picture of the label. "Can you post that on the Instragram feed hashtag
Melbourne Grammar please?" He sets the bottle in front of me whilst I twist
the cork that was plucked from the previous bottle that we drank off the
corkscrew. "It will give the unwashed masses at school something to talk
about besides my dick. I don't have a bad looking cock do I Austin? I
wonder how many of the boys at school are cut like me."

"Jesus, Chezdon." Malcolm slurs and picks up the bottle of Jack Daniels off
the drinks cart. "Don't you think you are going a bit over the top, even
for you?" I grab a small smooth crystal Riedel glass from the cabinet and
slide it down the island towards Malcolm. "I don't really want to hear any
more about your cock if you don't mind."

I slap Austin on his back twice before screwing the corkscrew into the
cork. The few top millimetres of cork begin to crack and break. I slow my
action so that the cork doesn't break apart and fall into the bottle of
wine. "This wine is older than all of our parents. Maybe even our
grandparents." I stop to consider the statement before slowly twisting the
corkscrew further into the cork. "I think my grandfather was born in the
year this was produced." I adjust the corkscrew and begin to gently pull
the cork out whilst grinding my teeth. "1951." As soon as I say the year,
the cork pops out of the bottle accompanied by the signature noise
announcing its liberation. I hold the cork up into the sunlight. "How
beautiful is that boys? Look how the cork has absorbed the wine for 56
years but has stayed intact keeping the contents safe." The cork can safely
protect the wine much longer than parents and grandparents can protect
their families. Oh, the irony.

Austin begins reading aloud from an article that he has found on his phone
as I lift the open bottle and smell its contents. "Penfolds Grange
Hermitage 1951 is known to have only about twenty other bottles left in
existence today. In May of 2004, a wine collector in Adelaide paid
AU$50,200 for a bottle at an Australian auction house. Jesus, Chezdon."
Austin looks at me with his mouth agape like a grouper.

"Fuck me." Malcolm pours a substantial amount of Jack Daniels into his
glass "You could have sold that bottle mate and bought a car." Malcolm
pours all the bourbon down his throat and reaches for the bottle once
again.

"Depriving my father of this right now makes me feel alive. Fuck him." I
begin to pour a glass of what is allegedly an expensive wine. "Austin, can
you look to see if we have any cheese in the refrigerator."

"You are crazy, your father will kill-"

I interrupt Austin as I bring the glass of wine close to my nose. My dry
mouth can't wait to accept its grace across its thirsty palate. "Kill me?"
I chuckle. "Let him try. The fucker." I taste the wine. "This is bloody
amazing. Go on Austin, have some." I pour Austin a modest amount in the
empty Riedel glass and hand it to him. "To better times. More importantly,
to Jayden."

Austin sheepishly raises his glass and taps mine, producing a dull clinking
sound. "To better times."

I turn and extend my arm towards Malcolm. "Sorry mate. Sorry." He taps my
glass with his refreshed glass of Jack Daniels, which is nearly filled to
the brim. "To Jayden."

"It is fine mate. To Jayden." Malcolm and Austin each sip from their
respective glasses. I gulp the contents of mine back, reach for the bottle
and pour another glass of the amazing wine. "I still can't believe you are
drinking wine that cost more than my mother's car."

I take some time to consider that statement as I swirl the wine in the
glass and stare at it. "She must have a shit car. Technically that is how
much it was worth ten years ago. It is probably worth much more now. We
could be drinking five percent or more of what is left in all the
world. Special, hey?" My phone begins to vibrate in my pocket. I fumble and
drop it. "Oh shit." I bend over and pick it up seeing it is Mel ringing and
quickly answer it.

I explain what happened at Club Morrison and Mel apologises that her phone
was off whilst in court. She is now returning home urgently. I tell her
that Austin and Malcolm were unwilling witnesses to the fight of the
century and Elvira is cleaning up the mess, finally assuring her that I
don't need to see a doctor, and I will survive. She implores me to ring her
immediately if my father returns. After a protracted pause, she corrects
herself and tells me first and foremost to ring the police should Daniel
appear for an encore performance and then hangs up.

Austin drinks all the wine from his glass in one gulp. "Will she be here
soon? I want to go." I begin to refresh Austin's glass. "No mate, I already
feel pissed, we have been drinking all morning. I need some water at
least." He places his glass on the island and begins to look in the
refrigerator.

Malcolm sips at his glass of bourbon. "Won't Mel be pissed off if she comes
home only to see us drinking?" He quickly sucks back the bourbon in
anticipation of hearing an affirmative response.

I take a gulp of the wine. "She will care obviously, but what is she going
to do? Hit me?" I chuckle and Austin's eyes open wide.

"Chezdon, don't joke about that." He twists off the top off a bottle of
water and begins to drink from it. "I need to hang a piss, be right back."

I take a few deep breaths all the while massaging my temple before taking
another drink of wine. "Are you going to post that photo on Instragram?"

"No!" Austin shouts from somewhere in the distance.

"Bugger him." I unlock my phone and hand it to Malcolm. "Hey mate, take my
photo." I hold the 64-year-old bottle of wine next to the area of my face
that my father hit earlier and give a wide toothy smile whilst pointing at
the label and holding the glass simultaneously.

Malcolm places his glass down. "Whatever you say mate." He points the
camera mounted in the back of my phone towards me and touches the screen a
few times. "I took three pics." He hands me the phone and I quickly tag the
best photo on Instragram with the hashtag Melbourne Grammar. I comment that
we are just hanging out and drinking a modestly priced $50,000 bottle of
red wine. My next comment sends Jayden not only my best wishes and love
articulating that we are thinking about him. If he is conscious, he will
see this photo as he is seemingly always looking at his social media
feeds. I feel my heart racing. "You will probably end up getting expelled
you know." Malcolm contemplates. "Being we are supposed to be in class
right now."

"Oh well. Fuck them." I turn my attention back to the beautiful bottle and
refill my glass. Elvira walks into the kitchen with the bucket and pours
the filthy wine-stained water into the sink. "You are doing a great job
Elvira, thank you."

"No worries, Mr Chezdon." She turns on the tap and refills the bucket. I
follow her as she returns to the living room, resumes the position on her
knees and begins to apply more chemicals to the carpet. Austin turns the
corner and walks towards me looking at his watch. "Out, damned spot! Out, I
say!"

"Mr Chezdon, please stop saying that. I am not Lady Macbeth." Elvira begins
to scrub the carpet again. Austin returns to the kitchen and retrieves his
wine glass and Malcolm refills his glass with bourbon whilst propping
himself up by his elbow.

Austin quickly drinks the rest of the wine and sets the glass down. "Right,
I am out of here. Cya."

I decide that I have been humiliated enough today so pleading with him
seems appropriate. I set my glass down before stepping towards him and
hugging him. "Please stay. Have some wine. Mel will be back soon."

Austin begins to mumble as I squeeze him tighter and I kiss his ear. "I
don't want to see her. I want to go home. I have had enough." I let go of
him and focus my gaze on the bottle of wine and walk towards it again.

"She will be back here soon though. We have a serious question that needs
to be asked." I again top-up my glass, holding the bottle with the label
face down in my hand, being careful not to let a drop of wine drip down the
exterior of the dusty bottle. "Besides, you are my boyfriend
supposedly. Aren't you supposed to support me during my time of need?"

"Well yeah, but boyfriend duties do not include watching you get drunk and
passing out. You will be on the ground soon." We turn our attention to
Malcolm in unison who has his head propped up on the kitchen island but has
his eyes closed. "I just don't want to see Mel. I am afraid of what she
will say."

I pour the contents of my wine glass quickly down my throat. It tastes
amazing. Soft, silky and the perfect consistency and I lick my lips. It
tastes like Jayden. I am transported back to gulping my best friend's semen
as greedily and quickly as I am drinking my father's wine. I wish Jayden
was standing here with me. "Can we act like adults Austin? Let's get all of
the shit out in the open and move on."

"So, tell me about getting raped then. Should I be concerned?" Austin leans
against the kitchen island and folds his arms.

"Concerned about what?" Austin looks at Malcolm briefly who still has his
eyes closed and I continue. "Nothing happened, forget I said anything." I
sip wine from my glass.

"Bullshit Chezdon, something happened or else you wouldn't have shouted
about it when you did." Austin returns to chewing on his fingernail,
demonstrating that he is once again nervous.

I reach for the bottle and offer it to him. "Just have some wine."

"I don't want any more goddamned wine. You know what, I will tell you
what. You answer my question and I will drink the goddamned wine with
you. How is that?" Austin begins to chew on his thumbnail and begins to
admire his shoes.

I exhale the air from my lungs in a huff and swirl the wine around in my
glass, before taking a drink. I close my eyes and feel the smooth silky
beverage coat my throat, momentarily leaving my dry mouth moist. I feel
like following my own advice. What else is there to lose I quietly ask
myself. It is time to get all the shit out in the open as I said earlier
and move on. Before taking a deep breath, I take another sip of wine and
set the glass down. "Right." Malcolm opens his eyes. If he is listening, it
really doesn't matter. "It is true, fuck." I quickly take another sip of
wine and set the glass down. "The bloke that took those nudes of me was the
one who tried to rape me. He tried to shove his cock in me when I was
passed out, but that woke me up quickly and I fought him off. I ended up
with an aching arsehole from him trying to shove his cock into me. That was
all that happened. It certainly wasn't rape."

Austin's mouth falls open, reaches for the bottle of wine and partially
fills his glass with the beautiful by-product of the fermented grapes. "Do
you know who it was? Did you call the police? Fuck, I need a drink." He
shakes his head back and forth.

I watch Austin drink every drop that he poured previously and set the glass
down heavily. I feel my heart beating as rapidly as I have ever known it to
and I feel a slight amount of pain in my chest cavity. "Truthfully, if you
really must know it was the bloke that is marrying my mother." Malcolm
stands up and his eyebrows move up his forehead.

Austin shouts. "Fuck no, you liar!" I close my eyes and begin to shake my
head. I knew that nothing good would come of speaking the truth. "Dr
O'Connor didn't try to fuck you. What did you do to cause this? When the
fuck did this supposedly happen anyway?"

Memories of my mother inferring that I was a liar and Shaun is a victim
begin to overwhelm me and I lean against the kitchen island. "Fuck you
Austin! Why would I make this shit up, you were the one that kept prodding
me and wanted the fucking truth." I quickly grab the stem of the wine glass
and drink the rest of the wine and set the glass down once again, which
makes a chinking sound.

"When the fuck did you meet Shaun O'Connor? Are you saying that when you
went to your mother's house last night that you took a nap or something and
he took nudes and then tried to fuck you all before you came to my house?
Come on, mate. That is ridiculous. Just tell me the truth.

"It was Wednesday night, not last night. Yes, two nights ago, if you must
know." I raise my voice. "He got me drunk, took me back to that house and
tried to fuck me when I was passed out. He must have drugged me or
something." Austin begins to laugh. "You think this is funny?"

"No, I think this is tragic!" Austin shouts and places the palms of his
hands on the island. "You know what, I don't care. Both you and your
corrupt father are one in the same. You wouldn't know the truth if it was
your arse and it was on fire. That is the stupidest thing I have ever
heard."

I take the glass of wine that Austin previously poured for himself and step
back further into the kitchen and sneer. "Is it so stupid to think that I
met Shaun the other night? We went to Pei Modern. That is what the relief
teacher wanted to talk with me about in private yesterday. She was there
and saw us. Fuck, look at the box of drugs that is in your bag. It is
Oxycontin. He gave them to me. His name is fucking on the label you fucking
arsehole." I step forward and grab the wineglass by its stem again. Feeling
lightheaded, I lean against the metallic door of the refrigerator, briefly
enjoying how cool the metal feels against my arm whilst a bead of sweat
drips down my back. "Fuck!" I shout. Malcolm props his head up with his
hand and like me, stares at Austin.

Austin doesn't respond and instead, walks away. I sigh and look at Malcolm
and roll my eyes at the same time. I take a deep breath and then another
before raising the glass to my nose and smelling the wine. With my eyes
closed, I listen to my heart race and appreciate the seconds I have of
peace and quiet before I am sequestered back into the moment. Austin walks
back into the kitchen and tosses the box of Oxycontin onto the kitchen
island. "I don't know whether I am more shocked at that what you are saying
or that you have been taking these for god knows what reason. Fuck
Chezdon."

"Well, thanks for believing me my beautiful and trusting boyfriend." I sip
from my wine glass once again as I hear the front door slam in the
distance. Austin leans back and looks towards the living room, no doubt
expecting to see my father. Hell, I am hoping he doesn't see my father and
freak out, signalling the start of round three of the prize
fight. "Austin." When I don't get his attention, I repeat, "Austin" but
this time with more volume and his brown eyes meet mine. "Since we are
being honest, there is one more thing you should know. Jayden is HIV
positive."

Austin places his hand over his mouth and rapidly moves it to the back of
his head and starts to ruffle his hair. His eyes go wide, just as Mel
appears behind him near the black marble dining room table. Malcolm's mouth
drops open. "But we didn't use a condom. His blood was all over you at
school. The two of you did oral. Holy shit. Fuck!" Austin closes his eyes
and leans his head back. I hear his neck pop.

Mel waits for the onslaught of swear words and honest admissions to
conclude. She successfully predicts a gap in the conversation once Austin
places his hand over his mouth again in shock. Mel finally
speaks. "Chezdon, come here."

I set my wine glass down and both Austin and Malcolm watch me walk towards
Mel. She wraps her arms around me and gives me a hug. I can smell the
perfume that she is wearing as I bury my head into both her flowing hair
and her neck and begin to cry. She pats me gently on my back. I sniff back
snot and smell the lingering fumes of gasoline mixed with her perfume once
again. I take a long breath and quickly get my composure back as I feel my
heart thud repeatedly against Mel's body. I wipe my eyes on the shoulder
pad of her black suit jacket and find an uncanny resemblance between how
the fabric feels against my face and how the wine feels across my
palate. After stepping back and propping myself up on the counter next to
Austin who has once again lost all the colour in his face, I speak. "Mel,
can you please answer a question truthfully? We are divulging all our dirty
secrets and have promised be honest with one another. I sniff back mucous
once again and wipe at my eye tasting blood this time.

"Yeah sure, if you want. Just tell me why you are drinking that bottle of
wine? Do you know how expensive it is?" Mel walks past both Austin and I
and into the kitchen. "Bugger it. I want a glass. Your prick of a father
deserves to lose that bottle after what he did today and so much more." Mel
retrieves a wine glass from the cabinet and sets it on the table. She pours
the rest of the contents of the bottle carefully into her glass, being
mindful so the aged sediment left in the bottle can't escape. "What do you
want to know?"

I look at Austin. "Well?" I reach over and pick up my glass of wine and
walk around the kitchen island and stand next to Malcolm, which seems to be
the neutral place to stand if you don't know which side to support. If
Austin can muster the courage to ask Mel the question that I know I am
dying to hear the answer to, I really don't know what I will do. I top up
Malcolm's glass with more bourbon. It is time to live in the moment.

"Chezdon, really?" Mel scowls at me.

"We are first and foremost drinking for Jayden." I raise my glass towards
Mel. "To Jayden."

"Have you heard how he is doing?" Mel sniffs the wine and a wide smile
forms on her face. "Wow, this is certainly making a shit day better. It
smells amazing."

Austin finally begins to speak. "When Daniel was here earlier." Austin
pauses and Mel begins to fill her mouth. "He admitted to organising, well
that he was responsible for the home invasion that we had." Mel gulps,
swallows, hunches over and coughs. "I just want to know, and I think
Chezdon wants to know, if you knew about it. Just please be honest."

All eyes fall on Mel who gives her undivided attention to the glass, which
is now resting on the counter. She swirls the wine methodically and it
leaves legs that run down the interior of the glass. I hold my breath and
feel my heart pounding once again against my chest. Before Mel can answer,
Austin offers more insight and raises his voice but continues to stare at
the floor. "My mother has said repeatedly that you must have known about it
because as a barrister, if you knew a crime had been committed, it is your
responsibility to the court to report it but obviously didn't."

Mel scratches her eyelid and takes a deep breath and then sighs. "Austin,
your mother is correct. If we are being honest, you need to know, Chezdon."
She pauses and takes a breath before continuing. "Chezdon, your father and
I were married two years ago, and with that comes privilege."

"What the fuck?" I walk around the kitchen island and stand next to Mel and
quickly drink the last of the wine in my glass. "What do you mean?"

"We got married two years ago. At the time your father was getting hauled
in front of the Australian Securities and Investment Commission for stock
manipulation. I knew about that and so I didn't have to give evidence and
be disbarred, we got married so I could avoid that inconvenience. We didn't
want to give you any more stress since you had just moved to Melbourne and
had enough problems coping without worrying about the stress of having an
evil stepmother, so we kept it quiet. When we announced that we were
getting married the other day, it was meant to be a proper ceremony. Two
years on to commemorate the day that we tied the knot officially. I am
sorry, I never thought this would need to be divulged, but if you want me
to be honest, I am happy to tell you whatever you want to know." Mel sips
wine and then licks her lips, keeping her eyes intently on Austin. "Is
there anything else that you want to know?"

The feeling of light-headedness returns and once again I find my mouth dry
and my body itching and aching all over. I desperately hold on to the
countertop until I can focus. "Yeah but did you know about the home
invasion?" I quickly say and then swallow air and fart.

"Honestly, I did not know anything about that. That is the truth. If Daniel
admitted to it, he must have lost his mind." Mel holds out her hand and
then steps over and puts it on Austin's shoulder. "I didn't mean it like
that. He had the results of the biopsy come in earlier and he doesn't have
much time left. At least that is what the doctors believe. I don't excuse
any of this violence and if he was really behind what happened to your
family Austin, I don't excuse any of this and I am certainly not making any
excuses, but I want to keep perspective."

"Spoken just like a lawyer." Austin mutters. "I have heard enough, I don't
know what to believe any longer. I am going home." Austin glances at me
before he walks out of the room.

Mel follows Austin. "I can give you a ride home."

"Don't bother." It is the last thing that Austin says before
leaving. Seconds later everyone hears the front door slam shut.

Mel picks up the empty box of Oxycontin. "Shit, he takes these? That boy is
messed up." She turns the box over and reads the label. "Shaun
O'Conner. What is this about Shaun O'Conner being deceased?"

I scratch my back and take a deep breath. "Yeah, he is dead. It was on the
news." I look at Malcolm and his arm is propping up his head and his eyes
are once again closed.

Mel drinks the last of the wine from her glass and licks her lips. I notice
that her lipstick is smeared around the rim of the glass as she sets it
down. "I wonder if he had a living will and if your mother will get his
estate. It would be good for you in the long run Chezdon so you might want
to reach out to Kelly again." Her attention moves to Malcolm. "I think he
has drank too much in honour of Jayden. Is there any news about him?"

My rate of breathing accelerates and I think I am going to have a panic
attack yet again. "No, not a word. You said you were going to make some
calls." I casually remind Mel and then slur my words and hold my
chest. "The news said some man died in the accident. We assume it wasn't
Jayden as they would report it as a boy or teenager. What do you reckon?"

"Yes. Probably. I would have made some calls on my way home but all this
shit with Daniel had me distracted. Are you okay? Come here. You look
drunk." I walk towards Mel again and she hugs me. I slur, "thanks mom." She
squeezes me tight and I step backwards towards Malcolm. "Thanks, I
appreciate you. I knew you didn't have anything to do with that home
invasion shit."

"Chez, why don't you take your friend down to the taxi rank or to the
station. I think you need to go to sleep, you look hammered. I will make
some queries about Jayden, okay?" Mel says after opening the refrigerator
and removing a bottle of water. "He looks like he needs to sleep too." She
points the water bottle at Malcolm.

"Okay, mom." I hiccup and smile. "Thanks." I quickly hug Mel before walking
over and slapping Malcolm on the back a few times which stirs him back to
life. "Hey mate, let's get you home." Without saying a word, Malcolm pours
the bourbon that remains in his glass down his throat. Some of it drips
down his chin and onto his shirt. Austin left my unit with my blood on his
shirt, Malcolm is leaving with booze on his shirt and I am leaving with a
clean shirt. I not only have won the honesty game, but also the clean shirt
game it seems. Lucky me. Mel disappears into the living room and begins to
speak with Elvira and I lead Malcolm past the two women, both who get paid
to clean up messes up for a living. I guide Malcolm through the living room
and into the foyer where glass crunches under the soles of our shoes and
into the white tiles as we walk to the front door. I take my keys and shove
them into my pocket before leaving and leading Malcolm out of the building
and across the street to the taxi rank.

"I don't need no fucking taxi." Malcolm shrugs and my hand falls off his
shoulder. I stumble to the side and then stumble towards him and put my
hand on his shoulder again. "I said, I don't need no fucking taxi. Your
family is fucked up man."

"Yeah I know. Do you want to go to the station then?" I question him and
lick the inside of my mouth and then my lips. "I have cash that you can
have, just take a taxi."

Malcolm begins to stumble towards Flinders Street station. "I hate taxi
drivers. They are the scum of the earth." He then slurs. "Your dad is a
dick man. What sort of cunt hits their kid? I should have bashed him, but
you were right, I am a coward."

"You aren't a coward man." My respiration increases and I clear my
throat. "Fuck, I would kill for a beer. Do you want a beer?"

"You are a fucking alcoholic man. You need some help. Just leave me be."
Malcolm continues to stumble up the promenade towards the pedestrian
footbridge that crosses the dirty Yarra River, which will ultimately take
him to Flinders Street train station. I follow him, allowing the insults
and commentary slide off me like water off a duck's back. "You got me
fucked up man. Poor Austin."

I scratch my head, sniff and lick my lips again. "Why poor Austin?"

"You fucked him without a condom and you're an arsehole. He is such a nice
kid too. You could be a murderer man." Whether it is the bourbon talking or
he has confused our dialogue as a continuation of our honesty game from
earlier, I decide to let him stagger toward the train station by
himself. The human drones walking on the promenade give us both bemused
glances. I know they assume that we are both drunk before lunch and are
judging us, but I don't give a fuck what they think or what Malcolm
thinks. Let him judge me, let the public judge me, I don't care. I am so
thirsty and really need a pint of beer.

I follow the path that Malcolm walked and technically I am not following
very far behind him. He doesn't turn around and I assume that if he did, he
is too drunk to even recognise me in the distance. After entering the
Southbank pedestrian tunnel, I watch him repeatedly try to swipe his
transportation card at the gate. When the gate finally opens, allowing him
entry to the train platform he looks elated. I watch him look at the
overhead screens and try to figure out which train to take. I shout at
Malcolm over the closed gates. "Hey Malcolm!"

Malcolm quickly turns around and then stumbles backward into the wall. He
recognises me and waves back. "Chezdon, mate. You are the man! I love ya
bro." He stumbles up a ramp toward a waiting train and out of sight. I
continue walking through the tunnel and emerge into the natural light once
again but this time in the central business district.

I call Austin and he answers the phone on the second ring. "Yes?"

"Is that any way to greet your loving boyfriend?" I see my reflection in
the window of the ticket booth at the station and instinctively adjust my
hair. "Austin, I am sad that you left. I wanted to go with you. I am
looking forward to our date night tonight." I slur. "I have a booking at
Nobu. I confirmed it with Petra earlier."

"Don't make me do this over the phone, Chez."

"Do what?" I take a deep breath. I am not even sure if Austin likes raw
fish. I should have asked him rather than surprise him.

"You are too out of control Chezdon. You might have given me HIV. Your
father has fucked over my parents and now you might have fucked me over. I
don't need this stress. Somehow you even sucked Shaun O'Connor into your
nightmare of a life and now I have nobody to talk to, not you, not
Shaun. Nobody. This is it Chezdon, don't ring me again. Bye." The silence
is deafening as I adjust my senses to take in the noise of the city. He
broke up with me? Fuck him.

"Fuck!" I shout. "Fuck!" I take more deep breathes and I chew on my tongue
as I decide to walk across the street, jogging to avoid an oncoming tram
that dings its bell at me. The sights and sounds of the inner-city dazzle
me and begin to overwhelm my senses as I turn and propel myself up Flinders
Lane. I can't walk as quickly as I will my legs and the slight incline
doesn't help me making quick forward progress. Why would Austin break up
with me? I ask myself not knowing the answer. He is too dramatic anyway. I
deserve better. The fucking McGuire family. My shoulder connects with a
woman that is walking past me which jars my senses and my
shoulder. "Bitch!" I shout.

I walk past a familiar place. Its lights draw me to the window and I walk
in. It is Supernormal restaurant, where Jayden and I had the delicious
lobster rolls and then I recall it is the day that I met Shaun. I walk past
the seats at the bar where we were sitting where I had my first
conversation with him and his sister. Sweat drips down my forehead and
flows down my back. "Excuse me! Excuse me!" Someone dressed in black gets
my attention by waving his hands around. "I am sorry, we are not open yet."

"Just going to use your restroom mate. It is an emergency." I continue my
quest to lock myself safely into the small room which I know is down the
stairs as I have used it in the past. I hold onto the handrail for a change
as I carefully place each foot in front of me. Step by step. I am not going
to fall down these stairs I announce silently. I will myself into the men's
toilet and as soon as I see the porcelain bowl, I expel over $25,000 of
wine into it. I repeat this process knowing that I am also expelling some
other cheaper wines and assume that the substandard ones are just not
agreeing with me. When my body begins to dry heave, I remember that I
endured this routine earlier today against an innocent tree and it is just
par for the course. Jesus. I am so thirsty.

After wadding up a massive amount of toilet paper, I wipe at my eyes and my
lips, before dropping it into the toilet and flushing. Having left some of
my spew on the side of the toilet bowl, I do the right thing and clean it
up and flush the filthy toilet paper into the Melbourne sewerage system. I
find myself again looking at myself in the mirror and then washing my face
and finally my mouth out with the water on offer from the tap. I remind
myself to drink water from the flowing tap before taking so many deep
breaths that I lose count. I really want a beer. How hard is it to get a
beer in this city? Feeling depleted of energy, I remove the plastic baggy
from my pocket and repeat the steps that I undertook earlier in my room and
successfully uptake a line of white powder into my nose. I snort it back
into the confines of my head with as much power as I can muster. I close my
eyes after placing the palms of my hands on each side of the sink. "Fuck
you Austin." I mutter. "Fuck you Daniel. I don't need you. Fuck you
Jayden." I open my eyes and remind myself of what I look like. My senses
feel so dull and I feel hollow like a part of me was expelled and flushed
down the toilet. I need to get control. It is then I realise that I do have
control. It is just another day and I am going to exercise some control and
prove to everyone that I am goddamned Chezdon Morrison and I will not be
denied.

My phone begins to vibrate against my arse and I decide to ignore it. I
don't care to hear any bad news. Nobody ever seems to ring me with good
news or even with an offer of sex. I adjust my dirty blond hair, pushing
the hair on the sides of my head forward towards my eyes and then leave the
restroom. I pass the diligent and concerned staff of Supernormal, not
making eye contact and leave the restaurant. I soon find myself walking
along Swanston Street, further into depths of the centre of the city. I
know what I want and I am going to get it.

On occasion, my shoulder knocks into a pedestrian which causes me to either
shout a swear word or at a minimum, resets me and it gives me focus. So
much focus that I can read the signs of the shops that I slowly pass
without stopping. My attention in drawn to the bright lights and the nude
advertisement in the window at the `Punktured Tattoo Studio' and make
myself known by announcing myself once I walk inside. "Hey cunts. I need
some service." I shout.

"You can get the fuck out of here mate." A burly tattooed man shouts back
at me.

"Just give me a lip piercing goddamnit. I will pay." I put my hand against
the wall to brace myself and cross my legs at my ankles. I stumble but my
back hits the wall so I don't tumble onto to the floor. I chuckle. "Sorry,
just a bit tired."

"Get out of here!" The rude burly tattooed man shouts and holds the back of
what looks like the chair that you would sit on at the dentist's office.

"Hey man. I can pay. Just give me a lip ring hey?" I pause and look up at
the ceiling before continuing with my indecent offer. "I will make it worth
your while. How about $200 cash?" I pat the wad of money that is in my
pocket.

The burly tattoo man chortles. He walks from behind the dentist's chair and
strolls past me, opens the door and looks outside. He slides backwards into
the shop closing the door behind him, mimicking Michael Jackson doing the
moonwalk. "You aren't pranking me, are you? The police aren't waiting to
bust me?" The behemoth asks. "Are you even sixteen?"

"Yeah mate, I am sixteen. Seventeen in a couple months." I dig around in my
pocket and pull out the wad of cash that I took from my father. "Come on
man, it is $200." I am holding more than $200, but I need to complete the
transaction no matter how much it costs me.

The behemoth chortles again. "Boy, you are so fucked up. Your parents will
find me and sue me if I touch you today. Come back when you aren't drunk."

"Goddamnit!" I shout and slap the wall. "How about $250 and the stash of
coke I have on me." I need control over my life. I need for this to
happen. "Please?" I will beg if I must.

The behemoth starts laughing maniacally. "Get in the chair and put your
money away. You never got it here. If anyone asks that cracks the shits,
say you went to `My Body Piercing' on Elizabeth Street or else it will be
my arse. Deal?"

I hop onto the dentist's chair and get comfortable, again crossing my legs
at my ankles. My heart continues to race and the pain returns to my
chest. I cross my hands over my heart and notice the palms of my hands are
moist. The behemoth towers over me and begins to wipe my lip with what
smells like rubbing alcohol. "You wouldn't have a beer that I could have,
would you? I will round it up to $300 if you give me one."

The behemoth smirks. "You are eighteen, right?"

At first I am confused as I told him only seconds ago that I am sixteen
years old but then realise the hidden meaning of the question. "Oh yeah." I
wink. "I am nineteen actually." The tattooed man abandons me in the dentist
chair only to look at the ceiling and repeatedly lick my lips. He returns
with a can of beer. Carlton Draught. It will do. I quickly sit up, take the
can from him, snap open the top and continue to gulp the contents of the
cold beverage until there is nothing left to drink. I shake the can upside
down, allowing a single drop of beer to fall on the floor and then
sigh. "Can I have another?"

"You are a strange kid. Funny, but strange. Sit back, let me do this." I
then remember why I am in the dentist's chair. I toss the empty can on the
floor and lounge back, crossing my legs again. The behemoth once again
wipes the outside of my lip and then the inside of it, the smell of rubbing
alcohol makes me cough. He uses a cotton swab to rub some sort of ointment
on my lip and whilst I think about what he is planning to do with the
multiple tools in his hand, he is inserts metal into my flesh without
warning. Before I can react and squeak, he claims to have finished the
job. "All done mate." He grabs a hand-held mirror off the counter and
shoves it in front of my face. I now have a silver circular ring inserted
into the lower-right side of my lip. I smile.

"That is perfect mate. Any chance that I can get another beer?" I take the
mirror from the behemoth and admire the metallic addition to my face. "I
really like this." After hiccupping twice, he takes the mirror from me.

"Hell, just give me $50. We will call it even brother." He walks toward the
refrigerator as I slide off the dentist's chair, stumbling into the wall as
I find my feet, which keeps me upright. "You are an amusing guy. Just
remember, if anyone asks, where did you get this done?"

"Um." I pause. "My Body Piercing on Elizabeth Street."

"Right on brother." The behemoth is holding another can of Carlton
Draught. I dig into my pocket and withdrawal a single fifty dollar
note. Once it is removed from my pocket, it rolls up naturally as it was
the note that I used as a mechanism to deliver the white powder into my
nose on two separate occasions. The plastic note has learned what its role
is in life is. I hold the note out to the behemoth who chortles and takes
the Australian legal currency from me. "You can keep your coke. Party on
brother." He hands me the can of beer and I immediately appreciate how cold
the can is and how it immediately cools down my hand. I place it in my
other hand to achieve parity, if only for a short time and then place it on
the back of my neck.

"Thanks mate. Love your work." I wink at the tattooed behemoth and exit his
shop. My lip hurts a bit, but certainly not as much as my foot or the side
of my face. I open the can of beer and drink from the tin as I continue my
stroll down the city streets of inner-city Melbourne.

I quickly stumble through the financial district and find myself walking
along Bourke Street Mall. I navigate the various laneways, only knocking
into a few people, sending one hipster into a state of frenzy when I
accidentally fall over the baby carriage that he is pushing. "Come on man!"
I slur. "No harm no foul. Sorry!" The hipster shouts obscenities at me, all
the while I can't fathom why he can't navigate the baby carriage properly
and why he would purposely push it into someone.

Walking into the Emporium shopping centre, I finish the contents of the can
of beer and toss it into the rubbish bin. I take a moment and brush the
dust off my shirt and skinny jeans, as I soiled myself after taking a
tumble on the tiles after falling over the baby carriage. I hold myself up
against the rubbish bin and take a deep breath. My phone begins to vibrate
against my arse again, but I ignore it not wanting bad news. I stumble
further into the depths of Emporium and stagger into Armani Exchange
shop. James is folding shirts at one of the display tables and he looks up
at me. "Hey cunt. Look, this is from Armani Exchange!" I pull on the sleeve
of the black shirt that I am wearing. "Let's get a drink!"

James quickly walks towards me. "Chezdon, um, you should go. Are you
pissed?"

I extend my arms and try to put my hands on his thighs. "Come on mate. I
know you are keen." I slap my arse with my hand. "I have some coke. Let's
party."

"Fuck." James says and blinks his eyes. He looks dumbstruck. I cross my
legs at my ankles and try to balance on my toes, but nearly fall again.

"Come on mate." I back up into the shopping plaza and look around. I see a
sign mounted from the ceiling pointing to the public toilets. I am relieved
that they are not far away as I need to piss like a race horse. "I am going
to the loo. Meet me there. We can party." I wink at James, pat my jeans
pocket and follow the arrow that is pointing to the public toilets.

With some effort, I make it to the corridor that the sign pointed at. I
follow it, holding on to the wall breathing heavily, not knowing why they
put the convenience so far away. It is far from convenient and I vow to
write a letter of complaint to the centre management. I spot the white
human icon depicting a man on the foreground of a blue sign, next to a
wheelchair. I push the door open and it hits the wall before closing
automatically. At first I am amazed at the amount of floor space that is on
offer in this bathroom. It is like nothing I have ever seen before and at
first think I am at the Hilton and start looking around for the bedroom. I
grasp the sink and again look at myself longingly into the mirror. When did
I get a lip piercing? I like it. After locating the toilet, I liberate my
bladder of it contents all the time wondering if James will like my
piercing as it scrapes against his cock. After flushing, I remove the
baggie from my pocket once again. Like a subject matter expert, I begin to
craft a line of powder on the edge of the sink with my plastic debit
card. The door opens and James walks in. "It is about time cunt. Are you
ready to party? I shout."

James pushes me against the wall and wipes the perfectly straight line of
powder into the sink with his palm of his hand. "Come on Chezdon, let's go
mate." He puts his hands on my shoulders and I collapse on to my knees and
stare at his crotch. I move my hands up and try to unfasten his belt buckle
but he grabs my wrists and pushes my arms back against the tiled
wall. "Calm down Chezdon. Just calm down."

Defeated, my back then finds with the cold tiled wall and gravity once
again brings my arse down to the floor. I sit on yet another urine-stained
bathroom floor wondering where I am. My phone starts to vibrate again, and
I lose my balance as I try to retrieve the device that I am sitting
on. Falling to my right, I hit my head against the porcelain toilet bowl
before ending up on the dirty cold floor. "Ouch!" I shout. The back of my
head throbs as I yank my phone out and hold it in front of my face as I
sprawl out on the floor. I see a photo of Jayden smiling and the phone
announcing an incoming call from him. "Fuck, I thought he was dead." I look
up at James with my heart feeling like it is going to break free of my
chest as I feel sweat dripping from my head. I close my eyes. The vibration
of my phone against my ear once again encourages me to confront the
darkness.

*********************
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