Date: Tue, 01 Dec 2015 04:55:39 +0000 From: Chezdon <chezdon1997@gmail.com> Subject: Innocence Waning Chapter 4 Chapter 4 Bryce is fiddling with his iPhone 5 and after a long period of silence proclaims, "I just checked the Bureau of Meteorology's website and it looks like according to the radar at least it is going to piss down rain in about forty minutes." I was deep in thought wondering how to throw open the door to lead my friends down to South Wharf so we can browse at the electronics superstore, JB HiFi. Purchasing the phone of my wildest wet dreams is on my mind, however my thoughts return to consider who exactly was on the phone call that I just terminated. "Stuff it, let's just watch a movie or something!" Jayden exclaims after taking the prime position on the lounge in the living room. He looks for the remote control and powers on the Samsung television along with the other audio and video components by pressing a single button. My father spent a fair amount of time automating this system so he would not get frustrated or have to look at five different remote controls which just add 'clutter' on the glass table, which is usually reserved for his newspapers, the copy of the right wing rag 'The Spectator' and 'Gourmet Traveller'. "Why don't you just get the phone from the Samsung shop the next time you are at Melbourne Central? It could be easier." "I was given a gift card for JB HiFi so I want to use it." Bryce follows Jayden's lead and gets into a comfortable position on the lounge. He holds one of the red pillows between his arm and torso whilst seemingly watching the nasty weather that is slowly coming in using the radar from the meteorology website on his phone. He has taken off his faux dirty Converse and socks so he can put his feet on the lounge and I can see the bottom of his hairy legs. My friends probably confuse me for being interested in watching the dark clouds on the horizon as I then gaze out the window instead of becoming fixated on Bryce's ankles but in fact I wonder what lightning, wind and hail is about to strike in my personal life. The unknown caller has left me irritated. I grab the back of my hair and mess it up further, thinking that my dishevelled appearance will distract anyone who looks at me from the blood that is rushing to my head. "Yeah, stuff going out and getting rained on." I agree after seeing what looks like to be a menacing storm approaching, considering the position of the clouds and then just decide to take up residence on the lounge. Jayden begins scrolling through the most recently added television shows and movies on the media centre laptop that is connected to the television. Mel walks past with a large bag of rubbish from the kitchen which gives him just enough time to select Game of Thrones S05E01. The song from the opening credits of the television show plays. "Naw, I have already seen this." He hits the back button and returns to the page that lists the newest media and looks at Mel as she walks off around the corner and chuckles. "It looks like you watched something called 'Eastern Boys' so what the hell is that about?" Bryce then starts reading the description of the movie on the screen out loud and halfway through the synopsis adds, "If you knew how to read, you wouldn't have to ask stupid questions. Jesus." The front door slams. "It is actually a good movie." I chime in. "It is about a gang of migrants from some old Soviet country that fuck over a gay bloke who tried to solicit sex from one of them at the train station." I quickly do a double-take and briefly think about my very recent experiences with train stations, public toilets, shopping centres and then roll my eyes. "Look at the Rotten Tomatoes score of 87. There is no reason to judge it." The faceless men and women behind the Rotten Tomatoes website and their scoring system seem to know everything after all and I point at the screen so the uninterested eyes of my mates will hopefully give me some sort of non-verbal cue that they agree with me. "I am not. It looks interesting." Jayden says and then starts scrolling through other movies. "Nymphomaniac hey? Is this in your top ten Chezdon? I read about this somewhere. It is supposedly ridiculous and Shia LaBeouf fucks some chick and you can see his little cock." Bryce starts laughing. "Where do you come up with this shit? Have you actually watched it? How would you know that LaBeouf has a small cock unless you took an active interest in it mate?" "It is the word on the street." Jayden insists. "I also read that LaBeouf got 'raped' putting on some art exhibit somewhere actually during the show in public. How can that actually be possible?" Bryce begins to read something verbatim that is being displayed on his phone. "'One woman who came with her boyfriend, who was outside the door when this happened, whipped my legs for ten minutes and then stripped my clothing and proceeded to rape me.' What the fuck?" This is presumably about Shia LaBeouf getting raped in public art gallery. "So people decided to do whatever they wanted to him and because he was in an artistic moment, and because of this, he couldn't say 'no' or even punch them in the face, I assume Bryce?" I ponder the ridiculousness of the situation and hear the front door shut again. Bryce continues reading to us "Hashtag IAMSORRY involves LaBeouf sitting silently behind a desk in a room in L.A.'s Cohen gallery with a paper bag bearing the legend 'I am not famous anymore' over his head. For five days, members of the public queued to be able to sit alone with him in a room with a prop of their choice." Laughter ensues. "How many films can he ride a motorbike in and pretend he is cool? Or famous, what a joke." "I guess that just means that you can stroke his cock and put a broom handle up his arse. Why wouldn't he rip the bag off and knock out the person who touched him inappropriately?" Jayden adds in a very animated way. Mel walks past and stops. "Who got raped?" Mel asks us. "Shia" I curtly respond. "Oh, is she is okay?" Mel wonders and looks interested. Bryce makes it known that this is the bloke from the Transformers and from what Jayden pointed out, the fine outstanding movie, Nymphomaniac, and that he will be just fine. Mel looks embarrassed but does manage a short but uncomfortable laugh. "I am going to open some wine, does anyone want a glass?" "It is only 2:30 PM you know." I add to the conversation knowing that time doesn't make much of a difference when it comes to the consumption of alcohol in this household. Bryce is the first to respond in the affirmative. Jayden also requests a glass of the fermented red grape. "Bryce, do you know the rule?" Mel asks out loud. "The rule is if you start drinking wine in this place we aren't allowed to leave unless it is home via an Uber." Jayden states like he has heard it before. "Safety is Mel's first priority." I think of the silly Work Safe commercials being screened as public service messages in the state of Victoria which started up after the Labor government recently kicked the Liberals out of government a few months ago. "That sounds like a Qantas safety message." I reflect knowing that even Qantas wouldn't let teenagers get on the piss early in the afternoon despite their desire for market share these days. During the banter, I take some time to think about the situation. I wonder if wine will take the edge off. "I am in if you boys are. It will be fun." The wine I will imagine will distract me from what I assume to be prank phone calls and the other uncertainties in my personal life. "Civilised you mean." Bryce looks at Jayden. "Well, as civilised as he can possibly get. I am not holding my breath. What is your drink of choice? Goon from the box mate?" "Naw, your mother's milk! I love suckling on her hard hairy nipps." Jayden continues to scroll through movies. 'Mysterious Skin' is uttered and then Jayden starts to read parts of the synopsis out loud. "Aliens, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, hey! Let's watch this." Just as Mel returns with two glasses of wine, Bryce provides his thoughts on the movie in a very monotone voice. "Not to spoil the movie for you mate, but your idol Joseph Gordon-Levitt gets bum raped in that movie and plays a teenage male whore, so it will be a bit like art imitating life for you I suppose." Mel puts down the two glasses of wine on the glass table and it is obvious that she really wants to laugh but manages to walk away quickly before she starts cackling. "Whatever." Jayden settles for 'The Shining' and presses play. "You remind me of the little boy in this film Bryce." Mel returns with a glass of wine for me and places the bottle on top of a newspaper on the table and then leaves. We drink wine and provide running commentary about the movie for thirty minutes before the bottle is vanquished. I retrieve another one out of the wine refrigerator, taking care not to remove any of the ones that I know my father obsesses about. The understanding is not to open bottles from the Barossa Valley since they are always in short supply in our household as they are consumed so quickly. Instead I retrieve a bottle of Marsh Estate from the Hunter Valley. The rain starts pelting against the windows and I hear the front door slam. I return to the living room with the open bottle of wine about the same time my father enters the area. "Hey Daniel. How were the races?" Jayden is the first one to stand up and shake my father's hand. "Have you met our esteemed peer Bryce as of yet? He is a bit antisocial I know and he apologies for not getting up." My father insists by being called by his first name, Daniel, and detests formality in the family home. "Just fine and dandy mate. It was a good day at the races. Tom Waterhouse will not be retiring anytime soon." Tom Waterhouse is CEO of the betting agency that he uses. My father shakes Jayden's hand vigorously. "Yes, I know Bryce. How are you doing mate?" By this time Bryce has stood up and also shakes my father's hand. "Hopefully my only spawn is keeping you boys entertained?" My father asks the question obviously not looking for a detailed answer as he makes his way into the kitchen and from the clinking of glasses, I am not surprised when he returns with a red wine glass. "I will have some of that Marsh" and puts the wine glass on the table. Bryce does the honours and slowly pours the wine into the depths of my father's glass. Dad then starts telling us about the wine, how it is the only wine in the Hunter Valley region that is only irrigated by rain and that is why it tastes so big and earthy. He insists that if we are going to drink his sacred bottles of the blood of Jesus that we learn something about what we are knocking back. The scene in 'The Shining' where Wendy Torrance is explaining to the doctor that her husband, Jack, broke their son's arm is playing out on the television. "Look at that doctor, she looks mortified!" My father says and quickly drinks his glass of the Marsh Estate. "It amuses me that Wendy Torrance can be so blasé that her son was abused and smoke a pack of cigarettes in the process of telling the sordid story that only takes thirty seconds. Does Chezdon tell you boys that I physically abuse him?" "Only emotionally." I say and smile at my father. My father laughs and then picks up the bottle of Marsh and starts to pour yet another glass. You should only refill your glass when it is truly empty is one thing that I recently learned from my father. This is one of the few social foibles that upsets my father as he says it not only disrespects the wine but will make for a different tasting experience as the wine opens up in the bottle. "Look at this bloody weather. I had to leave the races early as the rain was going to kill the track. They would have probably cancelled some of them anyway as they would be fearful that the nags would get spooked by the lightning." Mel comes out from around the corner, greets my father and gives him a kiss. "Why are you bothering the boys, leave them alone and let them have some fun." "He isn't bothering us Mel." Jayden happily offers. "In fact I am keen to hear about the races and how business is going." Jayden just loves to kiss my father's arse and treats him like his own, most likely because his parents are divorced and his father lives in Western Australia, so he doesn't see him often. Both my father and Mel sit down on the lounge and have a conversation with Jayden about vices and business. I pour myself another glass of wine and offer Bryce the last remnants in the bottle and go over and sit next to him. "Another dead soldier." The bottle is emptied and I place it on the table. As I am in an uncomfortable position and can't see the television without turning my head an awkward ninety degrees, I turn around and just recline back into the side of Bryce. "Thanks mate, I knew you would be good for something some day." I raise my glass whilst looking at him over my shoulder. My father tells Jayden boring stories about his business which mainly involves conflicts with the 'money hungry' Chinese. Mel nods her head about 200 times. Jayden somehow keeps finding more questions to ask and my father is happy to keep pouring more glasses of wine after sourcing another bottle of the Marsh Estate from the wine refrigerator. Another thirty minutes pass and the movie continues to play out. I continue to lean up against Bryce with a glass of wine in my hand. He doesn't seem to mind. I always wondered how my father would react if he found out I like guys and for a second think of interrupting his story about the 'dodgy Malaysians' and tell him a fact that he probably has never considered, at least to my knowledge. I am sure Jayden surmises and I always vowed that if he asked me a direct question about my sexuality, I would answer him truthfully. He just never has. It isn't until one second after the scene in the movie where Jack Torrance is told about "the nigger cook" in the hotel toilet that my father chuckles and excuses himself to presumably do some work or count his money. Regardless, Mel follows him with the bottle of wine. The ending to the movie is no surprise to any of us since we have all viewed it multiple times and usually just put it up as something to have play in the background to break up any opportunity for monotony to set in. "Hey Chez, I told Austin that we are just chilling out. Can he come around?" Jayden asks. Austin is another friend from school that is the type of guy that is just everyone's mate mainly because he is so hyper, animated and funny. Everyone just likes the guy and he is very easy to get along with. He is really kind on the eyes also. I reach over to retrieve my phone off the table and check the text messages that I haven't acknowledged in the last hour and see that three of them are from Austin quizzing me as to what I am doing. He must have assumed that Jayden would be with me since we always seem to be attached like body parts so they began a dialogue whilst I was busy relaxing against Bryce and relaxing with my wine. Austin: What are you up 2? Austin: ? Austin: ? Chezdon: hey sorry, I didn't have my phone on me Chezdon: Just at home... want to come around and just chill? Chezdon: we aren't up to much Chezdon: Jayden and my mate Bryce are both here. Austin: Sure thing. See you soon. My father starts to become nervous when I have too many people over because six months ago four of my mates and I decided to start drinking his wine and we then all invited four of our friends each around when my father was at the races. When he returned home there were eighteen boys and two girls carrying on in the unit. Guests were having intercourse in my room. I was aware of that and because I was drunk, I didn't care but I never did notice a couple of the guests go into my father's room and enjoy its creature comforts. Well, at least until my father got home and caught one lucky heterosexual couple in the act of love-making. I don't know how many times I was told that I disrespected the property after the party of the year concluded and how he will go to the grave seeing some "chick ride some kid like Damian Oliver would ride bloody Media Puzzle." Damian Oliver is one of the best Australian horse jockeys and Media Puzzle was the winner of the Melbourne Cup racing carnival one year. Another text message is then delivered to my phone. 0499456000: Hey what you up to? I just finished work. At first I don't recognise the number and am confused because nobody I know actually works and then scroll up and realise that the number belongs to James from Armani Exchange. Chezdon: Just hanging out with some friends. What about you? 0499456000: Where are you at? I will buy a round. Hell, I will buy your friends a round haha With the wine in my system and feeling like I want to have some fun, but also stir the pot in a way, it took only a few seconds to deliberate with both my inner angel and devil before sending the reply that would no doubt invariably cause some sort of drama. Chezdon: Meet me at Belgian Bier Café at Southbank. This combination bar and restaurant is near where I live and I frequently eat there with my father and Mel just because it is convenient. The adults enjoy the beer that on average has 10% alcohol which is matched well with heavy food, most notably snails which have been bathed in garlic. 0499456000: Done. I will be there in 20 minutes. How many are with you? 0499456000: Are any of them as cute as you? I doubt it! Haha With the last text, my suspicions as to what James wants turns into an intriguing reality that when paired with the last remnants of the wine in my glass, a wide smile forms across my face. Jack Torrance has frozen to death and the credits for the film are now scrolling. Jayden and Bryce are sending text messages. "Hey Jayden, did Austin say when he will get here?" "About 20 minutes." Jayden looks up at me. "I need your help. I need to fuck off outside quickly but I need you to distract my father and Mel. You know the rules. If he catches me outside of the unit after getting on the wine, I will be fucked." Not fucked like how Jack Torrance met his demise in the snow at the end of 'The Shining', and certainly not fucked like in the way that James probably wants to have me all savage like, but a little between the extremes of bliss and despair. Bryce stops texting and looks up with a very amused look on his face. "Where do you need to go that is so important mate?" I realise the dilemma that I now face. At first I think that I can go have a quick pint of orange juice with James whilst I leave my friends in my flat. It is with that silly thought that I realise that the wine has clouded my judgement and has made my usually good critical thinking and time management skills rubbish. If I am away and Jayden is asking my father one thousand questions about work in his study and Austin turns up it will be bad since Bryce doesn't know Austin from a bar of soap. No doubt the cat will be let out of the bag then. I walk over and pour some more wine, sip it and take a moment to consider my options. "Never mind, don't worry about it. I was just going to step out and get James since he has never been here." In a matter of a mere single second I realise that it is prudent to tell this stranger where I live and where I am happily hanging out with my friends. The consequences could not be as possibly as dear to have him around as trying to sneak out after getting on the drink even for a short amount of time. "Who the hell is James?" Bryce wants to know. "I don't know a James." Jayden contributes. I instead focus on writing a text message which gets harder after every additional glass of wine is consumed. "Hold on!" I demand and then send another message to James. Chezdon: Hey, can you come around to my flat? Would you mind? I look at my watch and then look at my friends who are staring at me. I hope to divert James thinking this is the best course of action to accommodate my requirement for not only instantaneous gratification but also a bit of entertainment. "James is just a guy that I was talking to at the Emporium. I am just trying to expand my social circle." I say this as stolidly as possible and after a few seconds of all of us staring at one another, Jayden breaks the silence. "What school does this bloke go to?" Jayden looks intrigued, which is not a good sign. James hasn't even agreed to come to the flat so I may be creating a drama that really doesn't need to play out. My eyes dart from the left and to the right quickly as I don't know the answer and then come clean. "It is the bloke that sold me the clothes at Armani Exchange. We just started talking and seems like a cool guy." Jayden looks at Bryce. Bryce starts to look at his phone and laugh, however like a dog with a bone, Jayden continues. "You couldn't have been gone shopping for fifteen minutes and now the retail slut of Armani is your new best mate?" Jayden has gone wide eyed. "How old is this bloke?" "Look, I don't know. In his twenties I guess. Why do you care? I thought it would be fun to have a drink with him." I never thought that the wine that I put in me this afternoon would be leading me to make such spontaneous and unpredictable decisions. I then read another message that appears from James. 0499456000: You are forward haha. OK, I am game. As I recount my shopping experience and explain to my friends that James simply asked me if I wanted to get a drink as a 'thanks' for helping him make his budget, all the while sending a detailed text message as to how to find my building and what to do when he gets here, I realise that I have to talk louder and louder only so that I can speak over the laughter of my friends. Jayden checks his phone just as I get a text message. Austin: I will be there in 1 minute mate. "Austin will be here in one minute." Jayden's lips skew to the right like he is pondering what to say next. I let my fingers do the talking and send a text to James. Chezdon: Look, I am at my unit with my friends. Only one of which knows I like guys Chezdon: I would appreciate it if you don't infer you do or that I do Chezdon: I assume that you do. Don't come if you don't want, it is cool. Chezdon: Just trying to keep drama to a minimum but we are all keen to drink The intercom on the wall rings and the video display comes to life. I walk over to it and see Austin's smiling face. I proceed to pick up the phone-like receiver and yell a protracted "wasssssuppp!" and press the button that allows him entry into both the building and my floor. He has been to my flat many times so he doesn't need any further instruction thankfully. I go around the corner and hang out near the front door with my glass of wine. I can hear my friends conversing and laughing in the background. Sometimes it is hysterical laughter much to my chagrin. I hope that the wine that everyone has been drinking has just put them in good spirits and it isn't the ridiculous situation that I am proceeding with and allowing to play out is what is causing their amusement. A quick knock on the door and even a quicker reflex to throw it open reveals Austin. Besides his dark brown eyes and tight blue skinny jeans I notice his oversized silver DC shoes. His blond hair looks wild today. He always looks very trendy outside of school and have often wondered what he would look like with his clothes on the floor behind the privacy of closed doors. We share the same greeting, which is always "sup!" and I examine his body which I assume to be deceptively fit as he walks in front of me and turns the corner, which is when I force myself to pay attention to my phone again. James has responded to my text message. 0499456000: Heya, no probs J See you in a couple of mins dude. "Hey mate, do you want some wine?" Jayden who is acting more like a gentleman than me offers up a bottle but only after Austin looks around awkwardly for an empty clean glass but also at Bryce as it dawns on me that I should be playing the role of host. "Austin, this is Bryce. I will get you a glass mate." Bryce gets up and shakes Austin's hand and comments on how he likes Austin's shoes. This breaks the ice quickly and the two teenagers begin talking about where to find odd yet distinctively colourful clothes and then shortly after that what team they support in the footy. As I grab a clean wine glass from the kitchen, I hear a loud roar, only to assume that the talk has turned to the Carlton football club, the team which they both support. As I return with the glass, the inevitable question is asked by Austin. "So how did you two meet?" Austin's eyes dash back and forth. As I am about to answer after grabbing the bottle of wine and commencing the pour of the intoxicating red grape, Jayden decides to answer. "Believe me mate that answer can wait. You should ask him about how he met the other bloke that is turning up." Jayden then slowly puts his glass to lips and drinks the wine slowly whilst keeping his anxious eyes on focused on me. The video intercom rings again and lights up obnoxiously. "Oh fuck. Just a minute." At first I believe I have been saved by the bell, but then realise this is just delaying the inevitable. Walking to the intercom, I wonder how this is going to play out and then realise that my father and Mel are not going to stay hidden forever as they will wonder for whom the bell tolls and what all the commotion is about. "This is going to be awesome!" Bryce exclaims and then continues. "There is nothing too sinister about how I met Chezdon mate, it was at an athletic carnival about a year ago." "Are strippers coming or something? I don't understand." After Austin asks the confused question, I turn around and look at him before inspecting the colour video display on the intercom. Indeed it is James who is waiting patiently outside of the building. He is looking at the small camera located over a keypad mounted on the wall. I pause and wonder if pressing the entry button could potentially be the worst decision that I ever make in my life or if it will just lead to the usual teenage angst and drama. The wine has given me courage. "Press the button!" I hear Jayden shout. "Who is it, Miranda Kerr?" Austin demands to know and then starts walking towards me. I think of my father betting on races and how once he said you win some and you lose some but you should never regret the choices that you make in the end. I press the entry button. The video display goes dark just before Austin gets into my personal space. "It is just a guy I know called James. He wanted to catch up for a drink at some point so I am killing two birds with one stone. Besides, why should you blokes care?" I look at Austin. He drinks the 50ml of wine that is in his glass in one long swig and then licks his lips. "I don't know any James. Does he go to our school? Catch up for a drink? I didn't realise you were some boy clubber or barfly. What a laugh!" Austin looks at me and then Jayden and then realises there is no wine in his glass and starts walking towards the bottle. Bryce has been scrolling through the available movies on the media centre and decides to play the movie 'Mysterious Skin' which was discussed earlier. "I am so confused." "Just drink up mate and go with the flow." Jayden adds just before we all hear the knock on the door. I noticeably pause, take a deep breath and walk quickly to the front door, leaving behind murmurs, innuendo, commentary and opinions, punctuated by "Oh really? How much have you boys been drinking?" which I overhear Austin asking as I open the door. "Hi." I look at James. One second later laughter erupts from around the corner. "Sorry, I am sure you were not expecting to be around at mine and having to see my obnoxious friends." James is looking over my shoulder. Jayden is standing there and when I turn around and see him, I literally jump. I look back at James. "Sorry mate, come in. It is good to see you again." "I know, what has it been, a whole three hours or something like that?" James smiles and walks past me. He looks at Jayden up and down. "Is this your brother?" "No." I laugh uncomfortably. "Just my mate Jayden." James looks at Jayden. "Wow, you look young mate. Sorry. Good to meet you." James shakes Jayden's hand and I explain that we have been on the drink for a few hours and not to pay attention to our nonsense. James then follows me into the living room. Jayden stays curiously behind us sniffing the contents of his wine glass. I then introduce Bryce and Austin to James. Neither one of them gets up, but simultaneous say "Sup!" and look at each other for a few seconds before taking a drink and then look at one another once again and start to whisper. "Ohhh kay. I didn't realise that I was going to be hanging out with the remaining members of One Direction today." James breaks the ice. "I still don't know what the hell is going on. Who are you?" Austin demands after interrupting Jayden belting out a sentence of One Direction song lyrics. "I am just so confused." Austin finishes off the rest of the wine that is in his glass and reaches for the empty bottle. "What do you do James and how did you end up here today?" Bryce gets up and heads to the kitchen before stating "I will get some more wine. Do you want some James?" "No thanks. I don't like wine. But yeah, I met Chezdon earlier today when he was shopping. We were going to catch up for a drink tomorrow but now I am here. So yeah." James can't take his eyes off of Austin. "How do you know each other?" Austin can't stop smelling the inside of his empty glass. "We go to school together. Well, we don't go to school with this bloke." Austin motions toward Bryce as he comes around the corner with a full bottle of wine. "Where do you go? Melbourne?" James asks as he looks out the window at the Melbourne cityscape. "This is a great view." Jayden walks over to Bryce to get a refill. "I bet you like the view mate." Jayden winks at Bryce, who starts to chuckle. Although on pins and needles, I follow Austin's lead and decide to just smell the inside of my wine glass. The smell of oak from the barrels transports me back to a more innocent time when I was forced to go on a wine tasting tour with Mel and my father in the Yarra Valley when I didn't have such lurid thoughts running through my mind all of the time. Austin gets up and holds out his glass and Bryce pours him some more of Marsh Estate's finest. "Yeah, we go to Melbourne. Great guess." James must have realised that he has stared at Austin long enough so decides to make small talk with Bryce. "Where do you go mate?" "St Kevins" Bryce adds and turns his attention back to the movie which is now being played at a very low volume. "Where is that? Do you have any water?" James starts to fidget. I offer to get him a bottle of water and walk around the corner into the kitchen. "Toorak. It is a damned all-boys school. It is a great place if you like boys." I nearly drop the bottle of water as I close the refrigerator door after hearing Bryce's answer. He rarely misses much and the prolonged staring at Austin would have been easily noticed. "Oh I see. I have never heard of that University or is it some trade school?" James simply says and then catches my eye as I emerge into the living room with a bottle of water in one hand and a glass of wine in the other. I would have thought that telling him it is an all-boys school would have let the cat out of the bag. James seems rather ignorant. Jayden starts laughing so hard he has to put down his glass. "No you damned fool, it is a boy's college. He is in year 11." Bryce starts laughing, and the laughter is contagious so Austin joins in. After a few minutes, before taking a sip of wine he adds "At least you picked us lot right. Melbourne Grammar is the place to be." Austin gives Jayden a fist pump and they roll their eyes. I hand James the bottle of Mt Franklin water just as he incredulously shouts "Grammar? I thought you went to Melbourne University!" My father and Mel then appear in the room. My father stops and says, "Hey kids. Please keep the crowd limited to just you lot. I don't want this to turn into a party." Mel stops next to James, looks at him and extends her hand. "Hi. I don't think I know you." I drop my head and realise this is not going to end well. Jayden finally asks the question that is on the tip of the tongue of everyone in the room. I knew this was coming, but I certainly did not want it asked in front of my father. "How old are you James if you don't mind me asking?" James drinks most of the bottle of water in a matter of seconds. "Twenty five." "What the fuck!" My father stops himself and considers his words. Austin returns to sniffing the contents of his wine glass. Bryce finds a sudden interest in the television again. Jayden starts chewing on his bottom lip and takes a sudden interest in the Adam Cullen painting on the wall. I notice Jayden looking at the painting and begin to explain that the artist died not long ago thanks to a long bout with heroin addiction and alcohol but he won the Archibald Prize in the year 2000. I regurgitated as much as I could remember as I have heard my father tell the story about this painting many times and also the tragic life of the artist in the slim hope that changing the awkward topic to something more sociable would distract everyone from the situation. My attempt to filibuster eventually finishes and I not only run out of words but also take a second to breathe and follow Austin's lead once again in smelling the contents of my own wine glass. "You don't find it strange hanging out with a bunch of sixteen year olds James?" My father asks the second most obvious question of the day. "Look, well, ummm, you know, I have to go. It was nice meeting everyone but I have to go." James looks like he is going to hyperventilate and I follow him as he walks quickly to the front door of the apartment. He opens it and is out in the hallway by the lift just as I manage to catch the door before it closes. I hear riotous laughter ensue behind me in the living room. James presses the down button at least ten times and looks like he would rather be held captive by ISIS instead of being here. I know the feeling and tell him that I can empathise as when I return to the living room, I will be facing my own beheading. "Text me?" I say in a hushed whisper. I hear the bell announcing that the lift has arrived and the doors will open soon. James turns and looks at me and tosses his water bottle in my direction which rebounds off my knee. The lift doors open and James disappears behind them presumably never to be seen again. ***** chezdon1997@gmail.com