Date: Tue, 01 Dec 2015 04:55:39 +0000
From: Chezdon <chezdon1997@gmail.com>
Subject: Innocence Waning Chapter 9

Chapter 9

The driving rain saturates both me and my stuffed backpack from the bottom
up as the blustery wind plays havoc with the cheap umbrella that feebly
protects my body from the elements. I briskly walk to St Kilda Road doing
my best to take cover where possible and avoid the pouring rain whilst
remaining vigilant and doing my best to hop over puddles so that I don't
end up slipping and ending up on my arse. My freshly cleaned and pressed
school uniform is left to be abused like a battered piece of fish as mud
and water are splashed near me as motorcars drive parallel to the side
street en route to a five star hotel. I am sprayed wantonly as I adeptly
trudge away from the Southbank Promenade which protects me from the weather
momentarily by encouraging me to take refuge and transit through the
Southgate food court and ultimately wander past the eponymous fast food
Indian takeaway which caused me so much suffering many months prior. My
grand exodus is to the place where I was told I could be picked up for
school by Austin's mother since neither my father nor Mel were around this
morning to act as my personal valet. I was prepared to beg for a ride to
school but in the end a text to Austin sufficed saving me the indignity of
getting a lecture from my father for not being better prepared for events
that are beyond my control. The wait for an Uber mimicked that of forty
days and nights because of the tram strike that was currently in process
for the day in Melbourne and the resulting cab strike that the selfish
union followed suit in executing which no doubt thrilled the morning
commuters as much as I am. Under my breath I curse the unions and their
associated industrial action as the gale force wind once again blows my
umbrella out of form and I literally stumble into the Plexiglas enclosure
of the tram stop so that I can be collected so I can obtain my fair share
of education for the day.

"Hi Julie" is the only pleasant thing that I say once I get into the back
seat of the black BMW X5 before discarding my retarded umbrella on to the
ground. It isn't too often that you see people driving their motorcars on
the designated tram lines in Melbourne but with this particular form of
public transport not operating for several hours today because of the union
industrial action, Austin's mother thought it would be prudent to use the
tram line as her personal expressway to our school. Austin's sister, Chloe,
sits in the front seat presumably because she is getting dropped off last
at an all-girls school and she musters a feeble "hey" as my wet clothes and
body settles in on the leather seat for what will be a quick ride that
bypasses the commuter traffic on St Kilda Road. I accidentally hit Austin
with my big wet backpack in my rush to leave the rain behind.

"Ouch mate. How much crap do you have in that?" Austin extends his hand
which I shake at the same time he sticks out his tongue and starts
violently shaking his head in silence. I manage to smile despite being wet
and feeling generally uncomfortable because of my soaked feet. "What did
you get up to yesterday?"

"Remember my mate James who stopped by on Saturday?" Austin's eyes grow
wide and his eyebrows move up and disappear under his fringe. "I caught up
with him briefly. Oh, Jayden and I went to Supernormal before going to see
that movie Unfriended."

Not realising that the other two pairs of ears that are travelling in the
front seat were hanging on every word that I said, I am taken aback when
Austin's mother interjects. "I love Supernormal. Did you have a lobster
roll? They are to die for." I see Julie looking at me through the rear view
mirror before Austin's sister continues. "Oh my god, Unfriended. I so want
to see that. What did you think?"

"I liked the lobster rolls and the movie about the same. The movie is worth
seeing and it is a bit of a laugh instead of a fright-fest. The movie was
really short so there wasn't much time for character development, but I
reckon you don't go to see a movie like that for character development I
suppose." I try to remain both politically correct and neutral in the back
seat considering my free one way ticket to school. "Jayden had like three
of the rolls though. They are really good."

"So when is the wedding?" I didn't know if Julie was speaking to me, or
even what she was asking or whether she was implying that I was in a
relationship with Jayden, so I was noticeably stunned and at a loss for
words as she looked at me through the rear view mirror once again. At first
since I believe she is making some slur against Jayden and I being overtly
close and because it was reflected on my face, she adds some further
clarity, "I mean your mother's wedding" to complete her previous query.

I think that I might have missed something over the weekend being in both a
stupor and away enjoying myself a bit too much and know for a fact that my
father and Mel are not getting married any time soon. Then it hits me like
a ton of bricks, Julie means my natural mother that I haven't spoken with
in years. I know after my parents broke up that my mother stayed in contact
with some of my friends' parents which I always believe was only so that
she could indirectly spy on me, but I never knew that Austin's mother was
one of her groupies. Julie is obviously not aware that I do not speak with
my mother so her questions should just be posted online or asked at the
next social event that they see each other at. "Not sure." The simple
response and my uncomfortable demeanour is quickly noticed by Austin who
cuts in and starts making not only small talk with his mother but then his
sister. He provides a formidable distraction which allows me to be alone
with my thoughts and stare out the window until a left turn is abruptly
made. We are then in an area outside of school where we are safely dropped
off without the fear of being saturated by rain.

"Thanks for the ride, I appreciate it Julie." I can't get out of the X5
fast enough, sliding out and leaving a trail of moisture behind me on the
seat like a snail. As I wait for Austin to disembark I notice the front
passenger window being lowered. Chloe sticks her head out the window and
awkwardly looks me up and down and doesn't say anything until she finishes
inspecting me fully.

"You have a nice arse." This comment is met with yet another blank look
full of amusement if not surprise. Austin begins to laugh. "You know, from
Instragram on Saturday. I love it!" This compliment of sorts shocks me back
into reality. If the comments are starting up so early from Austin's
conservative sister, I start to mentally prepare myself for what is in
store for me behind the school gates. I shake off the surprising yet
new-found knowledge that my mother is getting married and resolve to talk
about it with my father and Mel later. I resolve not to make a big deal of
this event. It isn't like I plan on going to her happy day and silently
wish her good luck.

After entering the school grounds I am approached by many friends,
acquaintances and occasionally teenagers that I do not even know and I am
asked to fill in the blanks about the `killer' party that I threw over the
weekend. Austin is also asked to provide commentary since it is well known
that he was there since he was nearly as prolific with the tweets and
posting of pictures as Jayden. At times I am forced to defend why I didn't
invite a particular person and also make blasé comments so it is
believed, hopefully in jest, that I will be throwing another party sooner
rather than later and of course whomever I am talking to about it is more
than welcome. I never considered my impromptu and random gathering of four,
and briefly five people at one point a party, but my peers who have nothing
else incredibly interesting in their own little world interpret things how
they see fit. Both fact and fiction travelled long and far throughout the
corridors of Melbourne Grammar as photographic evidence on the various
social media platforms was hypothesised and commented on both online and
within the physical social fabric outside of my control. Gossip and
innuendo fuelled by both Austin and ultimately Jayden exaggerating the
extent as to how our `good times' eventuated proved to be not only be an
overwhelming amount of information which conveniently was commented widely
online however as I learned from Bryce via text message that the tales
inevitably were shared with the unwashed masses far beyond my school.

The dark clouds give way to sunshine as I stare out the window. Not feeling
enthused enough to concern myself with the lecture on ancient history, my
thoughts drift to my mother and wonder what type of person would be
interested in marrying such a bitch; a woman who is so morally bankrupt
that her only son cannot even be bothered to speak with her. I suppose the
answers will never be provided as my position will not change despite any
sort of happy announcement. I resolve again to just tell my father the
information that I have unexpectedly learned and be done with it.

Stepping outside of the school grounds is met with a deep breath on my
part. Being overjoyed that the sun is shining and the tedious day of one
thousand questions about my personal life are satisfied by my peers at
least for the time being, I start to make the long walk home. As I get to
St Kilda Road, my phone vibrates and I read a message from Austin who asks
if I want to go to Nandos with him and more interestingly that he is
buying. As offers for free Portuguese chicken are made only every other
blue moon, I take him up on it and wait on the corner of the street for
five minutes checking the usual social media feeds until Austin catches up
with me.

"Is Jayden coming?" This is the first question Austin asks as he approaches
me.

"No, why? Are you hard for Jayden?" It seemed like an odd question for him
to ask as they are not the best of mates.

"I just wanted to talk to you about something and I didn't want him
listening in, that is all. I want your opinion." Austin leads the way and
walks briskly down the road in direction of the Nandos that is curiously
located in the hospital shopping plaza. I always wondered how many people
on their death bed request some takeaway chicken and extra hot peri peri
sauce to be brought up to them. "You mentioned that you saw that bloke
James yesterday, how did that go?"

So not feeling encumbered by the truth, I detail the events, not leaving
any detail out. When we are finally standing in the queue at Nandos, Austin
is still listening intently, only injecting "oh god" a few times however he
hangs on every word and detail. Before I can tell him about James cleaning
himself out using a two litre Pepsi bottle, Austin is asked to
order. Chicken, cole slaw and a 600ml bottle of Coke. This makes me laugh
and Austin doesn't realise what is so funny until we sit down and I share
the details of the Pepsi bottle experience. Austin starts to laugh again
and begins to inspect the 600ml bottle of Coke. "Jesus mate, I couldn't
imagine 600ml of water being shoved up my arse let alone two litres."

"It looked like he was going to have multiple goes at cleaning himself." I
then start to drink from my bottle of Diet Coke.

"That is full on. What did he do?" Austin starts to twirl the large wooden
cockerel that has the number `4' on it, which is meant to provide the
restaurant server a direction as where to deliver the food.

"He got angry, swore at me and told me to get fuck out. In hindsight I
believe he just wanted me to stop staring at him in the bathroom, but I
just left. Even if I wanted to fuck him, after seeing that ridiculous show,
which was better than Unfriended by the way, I was in no mood. That and he
smelled like nicotine and smoke. It wasn't attractive at all. So I left and
went home." During the story, Austin's eyes are fixed on mine.

"Do you think you will see him again?" Austin says with a curious
inflection to his voice.

"No. I reckon he is just bad news. He sent me a text just saying `hey' this
morning, but I didn't reply. Doesn't he remember that I have school to go
to?" I smile, which makes Austin laugh. Our orders of chicken and coleslaw
are then delivered which we immediately begin to devour using plastic forks
and knives. "I should probably just text him and say that I am not
interested. It would be the right thing to do." I then pull the leg off of
my half chicken and start gnawing on it after saying, "Why do you ask?"

Before answering, Austin finishes the remaining Coke in the bottle. "About
six months ago." Austin pauses and then nervously laughs before looking
around at the restaurant. "I can't believe I am telling you this. Anyway, I
downloaded Grindr and made a profile saying that I am 18. I made sure to
wear a beanie so that none of my hair was visible in the profile as I would
have been mortified if I was spotted on the street or worse since it is all
GPS based." Austin then pauses, looks around again and lowers his
voice. "So I started to meet up with random guys. I made it clear on my
profile that I didn't want sex and just wanted to be friends and talk if
you can believe it. So I started meeting guys for coffee. The
twenty-somethings always wanted to meet around one of the gyms on Chapel
Street funnily enough and there was never any mention of getting a drink,
which is why I find the situation that played out with James so
interesting. It was just coffee where I was measured up and judged in a
matter of seconds. These blokes, and there were quite a few of them, always
wanted to go back to their place to do the deed even though I was crystal
clear that I wasn't looking for sex. Most of these guys were tragic like
that guy James, so I branched out and started meeting up with the
thirty-somethings and then forty somethings which are certainly more
interesting. Strangely a few were married with kids, one wanted to be a
guide in my `corrupt' life and a few offered me cash for sex after I said I
just was interested in having a chat and drinking coffee." Stunned, I
interrupt Austin and tell him that I am going to get us another round of
soft drink before he continues.

Standing in the queue again gives me time to comprehend everything Austin
said. Even as I was tapping my debit card to pay for the bottles of Coke, I
was still trying to figure out what motivated Austin to meet up with so
many random people and it made me realise that there is so much you don't
know about the private lives of your friends. I return to the table and
place the Coke in front of him. "Sorry mate, I worked up a thirst listening
to that. Don't stop, please continue."

Austin opens the bottle of Coke and drinks half of it before starting in
again which gives me time to check my phone. Another text message has come
in from James however I ignore it as Austin decided to get talkative
again. "I just want you to know how much fun that I had on Saturday. I
think it was one of the best days of my life."

I laugh, interrupting Austin and then inject with "Wow, you need to get out
more mate." I give him a big smile so that he knows that I am joking. I
then start taking small sips of my Coke. It isn't usual that I want the
full strength soda, but I am craving sugar.

"Not to give you a big head mate, but I think you are a really cool guy." I
didn't expect such a compliment which causes me to look around to see if
someone is filming me for a reaction and wonder if I am going to end up on
some Aussie version of Punk'd or will be the subject of some prank YouTube
video. Austin drinks the remaining Coke in the plastic bottle. "I am pissed
off at you though mate."

"What did I do?" I am actually shocked. My eyes go wide in anticipation of
an answer.

"I didn't know that you liked guys until you made your big announcement on
Saturday. I thought it was awesome as I realised that I finally have a
friend that I can talk about this shit with for one thing but I guess, um,
also, I have always had some feelings for you. When I realised that if I
asked you out after we both admitted that we are gay that you might
actually not only say yes, but save me from this destructive cycle that I
am in of just meeting up with old gay guys to have a chat. I had about a
minute to figure this all out before that dickhead James turned up at your
apartment, and we all see how that turned out." With the fragmented
commentary being over, Austin starts to play with his fringe whilst looking
at me with an icy stare. Thinking back to Saturday and the chain of events,
it is fair to say that James showed up at a very awkward time in our young
lives. He then surprises me and continues on with his diatribe looking
flustered. "All the big talk from Jayden about how you like older guys just
really made me feel jealous, which is something that I have never felt
before and it is pissing me off. I have been fuming all day since you said
this morning that you went out with James yesterday, as I know what these
guys all want, so you don't know how refreshing it is to find out that you
didn't get fucked, or worse."

"Wow, I don't know what to say." I start picking at the chicken carcass and
find some more white meat and peel it off of a bone. "I wasn't expecting
that mate. I don't know what to say."

"I think we are both mature enough so whatever happens after we leave here,
our friendship will be just fine, however just so you know, I have given
this plenty of thought. The keyword is `mature' and we both are, so I just
want to ask you if you would be interested in actually going out on a
proper date, or are you really just into older guys? Will a `mature'
sixteen year old do it for you?" Austin smiles. Memories of admiring his
nearly naked body in my bed return and I feel blood rushing to both my head
and my penis. I take a deep breath as I think about this unexpected
situation for a few seconds.

"I have always had a thing for you Austin, I just didn't know that you
liked guys. One reason why I am interested in older guys I guess is simply
because they don't go to our school, and I will not be lead down to the
wicked garden of drama which gets played out in the corridors of Melbourne
Grammar daily." The look on Austin's face changes and he looks devastated
as he is interpreting my words before I can finish. I take my right hand
and put it under the table finding his knee. I start to caress it. "You are
right though, we are both mature enough and I would love to go out on a
proper date with you." Austin's brown eyes fill with joy and a wide smile
forms on his face.

Austin's voice crackles as he resets to live in the moment. "Really?
Jesus. I am so sweaty right now, but just happy. I don't know what to
say. I will be right back though, I need to go to the toilet." Austin puts
his hand under the table and squeezes the top of my hand which is still on
his knee, before he gets up and walks off. The next few minutes I have the
opportunity to put this new phase of my life into perspective and consider
the ramifications of actually dating a guy, let alone one that is a good
mate that goes to my school. Besides being his friend, I have feelings of
lust for Austin, and going on a date and taking part in what plays out in
romantic comedies just doesn't seem to be something that I want, if I even
know what I want at this awkward time of my life. The serious reflection on
the state of affairs bores my boner and it hibernates, which is fortunate
as I certainly would not have been able to walk with it not being noticed
whilst wearing the loose cotton trousers which are part of the boring
school uniform. Timing prevails and when Austin returns and asks if I want
to go, all parts of my body are ready to leave. I wipe my mouth, grab my
backpack and stand up. "Want to go back to my place and watch the latest
episode of `Game of Thrones?'"

"Fuck yeah! Let's go."

Without trams and cabs to service our needs, we walk back to my residence
in Southbank. After the proclamations and the agreement on the new way
forward at Nandos, or what I will now refer to as the `Nandos Accord' for
all of posterity, how we interact with one another thankfully doesn't
change. There are no awkward silences and we are certainly not lost for
words when discussing and at times debating various topics like politics
and even banal celebrities. I start thinking that Austin is indeed as
mature as me, or at least at the minimum level that I like in a guy and if
it is certainly true, dating him could work. I never even considered Austin
as boyfriend material until this very moment as we walk down the footpath
and consider how much more stable he seems at least when compared to James
and find that amusing because James is nine years older than Austin. As I
listen to him talk about the government's border protection and asylum
seeker policy, I begin to ponder what Austin was really looking for on his
multiple meetings with the older legion of Grindr suitors. Perhaps he just
wanted to talk with homosexuals about something more than the high price of
coffee. He is an attractive guy that has a fair amount of friends, but
perhaps they are not very strong friendships. I start thinking about how
superficial his friendship is even with Jayden and then see a pattern at
how he has developed his social circle. I conclude that there isn't much
depth to them just as he makes a negative remark about our conservative
government.

"So you never hooked up with any of your Grindr harem of guys then?" I
smile and the question seems to take Austin by surprise.

"No mate. Well, I kissed a couple of them and one grabbed my arse. Half of
them wanted to fuck and they made that clear in the first few minutes. The
other half just wanted to talk about life and times. A few of them bought
me dinner, on what I guess would be a date, so I thought that when they
wanted to give me a kiss or squeeze my arse, I should at least allow that
as a thanks for the meal." Austin starts to undo his tie and in the process
of putting it in his bag, hits me with it by accident. "Whoops."

"So it begins. I am going to be the abused wife in this relationship if I
don't have dinner waiting for you I see. Don't hit me! I will be better, I
promise." I put my hands up in front of my face and cringe, which makes
Austin laugh and then push me. I end up on my back on the wet grass. "Don't
hit me again! Please, help!" A woman pushing a pram with a baby walks past
us. I reach out to her from my resting place on the grass. "Please help,
this abusive man is sending me back to the kitchen to slave over a hot
pan. Please!"

"Comedy central in real life." Austin makes the comment to the passing
mother who nods her head in agreement with a smile. He then picks up my
heavy bag off the grass. "Come along now. Your kitchen awaits."

I hop up and take my bag from Austin and we continue the journey to my
place in Southbank via the arts district. Time flies as we chat all the way
to the front door and when I open it a particularly good smell wafts toward
us. Mel must be at home cooking. We drop our bags on the lounge and go into
the kitchen looking for something to drink. "What's cooking Mel?" I start
to look through the refrigerator.

"I am trying to make this lamb recipe from the Heston Blumenthal book. It
is taking forever." Mel is in the process of inserting cut cloves of garlic
into the lamb fat that have been soaked in milk. I take out a can of Coke
and a can of Cherry Dr Pepper and hand the Coke to Austin.

"Want some help Mel?" Austin kindly offers and Mel naturally refuses
it. She wants to be responsible for creating this gourmet masterpiece and
before explained that she can execute the tasks just as fast. Besides she
considers cooking complex dishes a hobby.

I head to the living room and turn on the television and request the Foxtel
cable feed to go live from the remote control. After plopping onto the
lounge holding my can of soft drink, Austin follows and does the same
however close enough to me so that our arms touch. Given the size of the
lounge, Mel will probably even think this is weird, but I don't move my
body. I start to scroll through what has been recorded and start the latest
episode of `Game of Thrones'. I turn up the sound as `A Song of Ice and
Fire' starts to play and introduces the cast.

We remain relatively quiet and absorbed in the show, which is the
penultimate episode of the season. When Stannis Baratheon decides to have
his daughter burned alive, Austin becomes enraged, profane words are used
and his negative thoughts on Stannis are articulated. "Burn in hell
Stannis!" I have to `shhhh!' him a few times so that I can hear the
dialogue. Austin's vitriolic reaction to this storyline makes Mel come from
the kitchen to see what on television is causing such an oddly emotional
teenage reaction. In another case of bad timing, her curiosity is piqued
just as The Red Woman, Melisandre, is starting the fire under Shireen
Baratheon's feet. Mel doesn't look impressed at first when she sees the
girl burning up but then I could tell from the look on her face that she
finally got the inside joke that my father and I have been making for so
long about Mel looking like the Red Woman, so she loses interest and
returns to the kitchen to attend to the dead lamb.

Austin smacks my shoulder. "She looks pissed." I "shhh!" him again so the
final minute of the show can be enjoyed and then interpreted and then
simply exclaim "Jesus Christ!" as the credits role for the episode. I take
out my phone and decide to inform my father that Mel knows about our Red
Woman piss-take and also advise him that I heard that my estranged mother
is getting married. Before I can, I am greeted by new messages. One from
Jayden asking for my status and location. The other from James, to
compliment the other two which I ignored earlier. Austin notices the
message from James as he is looking over my shoulder at my phone. "He is
persistent."

"Yeah I know." I put my phone on my lap and try to compose myself on the
multiple fronts. James is a non-issue for me but he is obviously an
annoyance for Austin, so I decide to address him first as I don't want the
first hour of our official relationship to descend into drama. I send him a
text thanking him for the pints and the chat and simply say that I don't
think things will work out between us, and leave it at that. I show the
text message to Austin before I send it, and after saying it was a good
message, I press send. "OK, one down. Don't be worried about him mate. I
was just thinking of what I need to send to my father." I then craft a
message to him saying that Mel knows about our little joke and it might be
a bit awkward when he gets home. I also say that Austin's mom told me that
`Voldemort' in reference to my mother, is seemingly getting married to some
silly fool.

"So you really didn't know that your mom was getting married?" Austin looks
at me incredulously.

I stand up and stretch and notice Austin checking out my exposed navel as
my shirt is pulled up by my action. "No that was news to me. You know I
don't speak with Voldemort. I wouldn't have a clue what she does and I
really don't care. That bitch."

I walk towards my room with the intention of changing out of my school
uniform. I hear Austin get up to follow me and a newfound sense of shyness
overwhelms me as I first stop in the laundry room to retrieve some fresh
clothes as I know that the maid has been in cleaning earlier in the
day. Getting undressed and changing in front of Austin at one time seemed
natural and now it will have other connotations. Trying to ignore these
feelings, I pick up a large stack of folded clothes that have been
laundered which belong to me and then notice there are various small items
in the blue plastic tray that sits in the corner. Before the maid does
laundry, she always checks the pockets and puts anything that she finds in
separate trays that all have our names affixed on the sides. Besides a
quantity of coins, which I ignore, I see the business card that Shaun gave
me at Supernormal before he left with his sister. I toss it back into the
tray. I walk into my room and place my clean clothes on my properly dressed
bed. The smell of vomit, sweat and filth has been vanquished by chemicals
and the maid's arm. Lustful thoughts quickly return as I fondly recall
sharing the bed with Austin the other night. With my back to him, I
unbutton my shirt, take it off and throw it on the floor. It is then I feel
his hands lightly touch me on both of my sides and then feel his warm
breath on my neck just before he licks it and then kisses it with
passion. His heavy breathing through his nose, the passionate kissing of my
neck and the exploration of my chest with his warm hands gets me hard in
seconds. He is shocked as I break his embrace and turn around, only to lock
my arms around his body as I pull him in tightly. I don't care that he can
presumably feel my erection poking him and then grinding his thigh I start
to explore his mouth with my tongue, finally moving my hands up behind his
head and pulling it into mine to savagely kiss him on the lips which
evolves in trying to consume his salty face.

"Oh my god. Sorry!" Our sexually-charged session is interrupted by the
words of a female voice. I return to the real world and look over Austin's
shoulder and see the Red Woman briefly as she walks away from the entrance
to my bedroom.

"Shit! Timing is just fucked today." I continue to hold Austin but back my
face away from his by a matter of centimetres. "That was nice." I smile. "I
can't wait to do it again, when there is more, um, privacy."

"God, I have wanted to do that for ages." Austin puts his head against my
shoulder. "Just don't change, Chez."

I am left to think about butterflies after the last ambiguous comment about
changing as I let go of Austin and turn around once again to finally change
my clothes. I make sure that I keep my back facing Austin as I take off my
trousers and quickly get into a pair of black skinny jeans and when matched
with an old white shirt, my erection is effectively masked. "We should
probably go talk to Mel."

"Awkward! Maybe I should just go."

"Well, um, just stay here then. I will be back soon." I start to scratch my
head as I walk out of my room and toward the kitchen where I hear the
sounds of a hand blender at work. Upon rounding the corner and catching
Mel's attention, she immediately turns off the hand blender and starts to
talk in a hushed voice.

"Chez, first off, I am a big girl and I don't need you to chase me down to
explain yourself. I know what I saw." I open my mouth to interrupt her, but
she anticipates it. "No, wait please, let me finish. I don't need consoling
or talked to about what I saw, but I hope someday that you trust me enough
just to talk to me. I am trying hard to be your friend and I want to help
you out when I can. It is called transparency. The more that I know, the
more that I can make your life easier."

"Sorry."

"There is nothing for you to be sorry about Chez. Just try to trust me and
talk to me from time to time. I have lived pretty long and have some
experience with situations that involve the heart you know. Not as many
years as that woman on `Game of Thrones', but I am sure that you know what
I mean."

"Oh, sorry about that too." I can't help but smile as I start to count the
number of kitchen tiles on the floor.

"Again, there is nothing for you to be sorry about." Mel reaches for her
glass of red wine and takes a drink of it before continuing. "I know that
you and your father have your little jokes. I am happy that you do. I would
be concerned if you did not. Don't worry about that." Mel takes another
drink of wine. "How long have you and Austin been together?"

"About one hour." I can feel my face turning red.

"So what are you doing talking to me then? Go be with him and spend time
with him. Can I give you some unsolicited advice?"

Feeling overwhelmed by how calm and actually how cool Mel is being, a smile
forms on my face and I simply say "sure."

"We all have five senses. Some say there is a sixth called `umami' but that
isn't the point. The point is that every time you see Austin use your
senses and discover something new that you like about him and tell
him. Once you stop bothering to do that, reconsider what you want. You have
a very strong personality Chez and I see it is easy for you to suck people
into your world, and I want you to be doing it for the right reasons with
Austin." Mel takes another sip of wine and like the Red Woman suddenly
gives me a directive. "No go, and talk to me later if you want." She then
smiles. "He is more than welcome to stay for dinner too."

I start to walk back to my room, pulling on my sleeves as they are bunching
up in my armpit, and I feel some dampness. My anxiety about being caught in
a passionate moment is now a thing of the past and Austin is noticeably
surprised to see me return so quickly after returning to my room. He is
sitting on my bed and is the first to speak. "Is it awkward? Do I need to
go?"

"No, it is quite the opposite. It is all good." I get close enough to
Austin so I can push him onto the bed and then climb on top of him. I bend
down and kiss him lightly on the mouth and then notice he is wearing some
type of cologne. "I really like the smell of your perfume. What is it?"

Austin puts his head back and laughs for a few seconds. It is a guttural
laugh and he seems to be very amused. "It is cologne and it is called Tom
Ford Black. It isn't perfume." He puts his arms around my waist and pulls
me back so that he can kiss me on the lips quickly. "You are so funny."

I take another long smell of Austin and confirm my feelings for his
cologne. "I really like how you smell." My green eyes stare into Austin's
big brown eyes and I can't help but returning my lips to his. My tongue
rudely pushes past his teeth and I once again begins to explore his
mouth. Resting my arms on his chest, I fumble with the buttons on his shirt
as I struggle to maintain balance whilst I once again savagely start to
make out with my lover. I somehow manage to get four buttons undone and get
my hands inside of his shirt in one fluid motion. Sitting on the top of his
legs, which gives me the ability to undo the rest of the shirt buttons, I
greedily lean down and start suckling on his left nipple and then move to
the right one. Placid joyful noises turn into louder grunts, and I have to
cover Austin's mouth as I realise that once again I have left my bedroom
door open. Once he realises that he is being excessively loud, he calms
down as much as I could of hoped for which gives me the courage to return
and gently lick his chest, starting in the area between his nipples and
then gradually move toward his belly button and his slightly hairy navel
and the band of his `American Apparel' underwear which is on display. Not
meeting any sense of resistance, I give Austin one more opportunity to put
a stop to the proceedings, giving him a brief window by getting off of both
Austin and my bed and go to finally close my bedroom door. My erection is
being constrained, if not strangled nicely on one side by my skinny jeans
and my shirt is covering the bulge. Austin is not as lucky as he is
obviously hard, the loose cotton trousers aren't providing him with any
favours.

The obnoxious sound of the video intercom begins to ring in the living room
as if it was triggered by my door being closed. I hate the noise it
makes. It is extremely irritating and breaks the mood. About the time that
I have returned to my bed and I am going to lean in and kiss Austin again,
the moment is interrupted my Mel shouting from the living room. "Chez, it
is for you!"

"Really?" I utter to Austin. "This is such bad timing. I will be right
back." Austin rolls his eyes and reaches for the remote control. He turns
on the television as I walk out of my room and towards where the video
intercom is mounted.

I pass Mel who gives me a wink and mysteriously says "good luck." I then
see it is James who is downstairs seemingly waiting patiently for a verbal
exchange with me on the video intercom. I dodged a bullet earlier getting
caught making out with Austin as I thought that was going to be deemed an
awkward conversation with Mel, however I know this one certainly is going
to be with James.

I pause before picking up the receiver and wonder what James is trying to
prove turning up unannounced and trying to communicate with me in such a
way. Finally I manage a simple "G'day mate" which startles James from what
I notice. "What are you doing here?" It seems like an obvious question.

"Hi. Ummm." After the salutation there is a few seconds of silence. "Can I
talk to you?" James looks uncomfortable talking to the keypad and camera on
the wall. He is aware that I can see him but he can't see me.

"You could have just rang me on my phone mate. What's up?"

"Can I come up and talk to you?" James is staring intently at the camera.

Although I might have thought it was a good idea on Saturday whilst under
the influence of wine to let James up, my sober and pragmatic self now
knows it would be terrible idea not knowing what his agenda is. After
telling him via text message earlier that I wasn't interested, I would have
assumed that would have been that and there would be no further
contact. This is what I get for assuming. I then notice that Austin has
come out of my bedroom appropriately dressed and is quickly approaching me,
no doubt curious to see who not only broke our sexual tension but also who
rudely just stopped around to see me. "How about if I come down and see you
mate. I will be down in a few minutes." I hang up the receiver and look at
Austin. "You know it is going to get stranger. Do you want to come down
with me and see what he wants?"

"Didn't he get the message or something? What a psycho." Austin looks both
perturbed and pissed off. "Sure, let's do this!"  I follow Austin back to
my bedroom, where we both find our shoes and put them on. As we are about
to leave, Austin picks up the cricket bat that is resting upright against
the wall in the corner of my room near my bed. I comment that it was a gift
from my father and it has been signed by the current captain of the
Australian Test squad, Michael Clarke.

"Let's see if James knows who Michael Clarke is." Austin rests the bat
against his shoulder and walks out of my bedroom and I follow him to the
front door, where I quickly grab a set of keys and we leave the apartment.

"What are you going to do? Beat up the fool with the bat?" The wry grin on
my face makes light of the situation and noticeably calms Austin
down. "Mate, he isn't here to kill me. I am sure he just wants to tell me
off. Besides, I have you with me which he will not expect, so all will be
good I am sure." I smile at Austin at the same time the `ding' announces
that the elevator has arrived. "We can walk out of the car park exit also
and then meet him at the front of the building so he will not see us both
coming also."

"Great idea."

"I never thought of you as being hard core, Austin. I learn something new
every day!"

"I just don't want such a nice day ruined by that prick. That is all."
Austin starts adjusting his hair in the mirror whilst we travel toward the
lower levels of the building. His acting tough is a stark contrast to the
vain teenager that I am now watching fine tune his hair. If you are going
to maim someone with a cricket bat, I suppose you should look good for the
inevitable camera that will take your photo at the police station.

We exit on the level of the car park that I have access to and we make our
way down the various access ramps and out past the security guard. As we
walk around the building on the footpath, I am the first to see James
standing up against a small tree smoking a cigarette. "Hey mate, what's
going on?" I hope that my friendly interrogatory provides enough of a
distraction for James not to care that Austin is not far behind me
brandishing a cricket bat.

James takes a long drag of his cigarette and then flicks it into the
gutter. Littering is a pet peeve of mine and it really annoys me when I see
it happen live and in person in my neighbourhood. "Did you bring the twink
to bash me or something?"

"Oh him? No mate. We were just off to hit some cricket balls." With some
conviction I relay the lie and quickly turn around to see Austin standing
not far behind me with the bat resting on his shoulder once again.

"Yeah right. Dressed like that. Sure." James takes the pack of cigarettes
out of his pocket and with a dramatic pause removes a cancer stick, lights
it and takes another long drag.

Not feeling especially comfortable during the long silence, I try to move
the proceedings along. "What did you want to talk about?"

After exhaling a plume of smoke in my direction, James decides to educate
us as to what was so important that he needed to see me in person. "I just
came by to collect the money that you owe me."

"Since when do I owe you money?"

"You owe me $30."

"What the hell for?" I feel as if my frustration is starting to show. I
turn around and look at Austin and make what I would like to think is a
confused face.

"That is how much the beer cost that I bought for you yesterday. I want my
money back."

"Are you serious? All of this carry-on and you make a personal visit to
shake me down for $30? If I had fucked you would you still want this cash?"
I am mortified and can't believe this is what he wanted to discuss in
person. "Can you text me your banking details and I will make the
transfer. Not a problem."

"Yeah, I am serious, and I want the money now. You are such a cocktease. A
fuck from you would be worth $5, don't give yourself so much credit you
arrogant dick." James takes another long drag on the cigarette.

"Whoa! Let's dial this back. There is no reason to be rude mate." Austin
walks up and stands next to me. My shoulder is touching his and he starts
tapping the end of the cricket bat on the concrete. "Hold this." I take the
cricket bat and Austin begins to rummage through his pocket and finally
mutters "I have never heard of anything so ridiculous." In between some
scraps of paper, a to-do list and the remains of a roll of Mentos, Austin
finds some Australian currency, and starts tossing it on the ground. First
a $10 note, then a $5 note, followed by two more $5 notes and then
completes the transaction by tossing five one dollar coins on the
ground. The coins scatter when they hit the concrete. One curiously rolls
into the gutter and rests next to the burned out cigarette butt that James
earlier flicked away. "Anything else arsehole?" Austin takes the cricket
bat back from me. James has a shocked look on his face which is probably
the only thing that I have found to have in common with him up until this
point.

"You are such a cunt. You are a cunt too Chezdon." James takes another drag
of his cigarette and then flicks it at me unexpectedly and filter end of
the burning cigarette hits my arm. He then starts to retrieve the money and
coins off of the ground. "You have no idea what you are missing out on."

"What? Fucking around with a loser?" Speaking the truth comes so freely as
James waddles like a duck picking coins up off the ground. He looks up at
me. "You are right though. If it wasn't for you James, I wouldn't have
realised what I am missing out on." I look at Austin.

James stands up after retrieving the $30 in plastic notes and coins. "Yeah,
what is that?"

I quickly lean over and kiss Austin on the cheek. This enrages James and he
takes four quick steps forward, but that gives time for Austin to position
the cricket bat and demonstrate that he is not afraid to swing it. James
then retreats a couple of steps, shouts "fuck!" at the top of his lungs and
then what appears only to play out in slow motion as he once again advances
towards us with a look of rage on his face. James must have assumed that
Austin would not swing the bat, however as I have learned that assuming
will lead to ambiguity and disappointment and as the bat smashed into our
attackers arm, the volume of the thud and the resulting shout of "fuck!"
matches his previous outburst however this one is riddled in pain and not
just frustration. James falls to the concrete and the coins and notes
follow him and end up in the gutter with his cigarette butt.

"If I see you again, I will be swinging at your head mate." Austin points
the bat in the direction of James as he slowly gets back to his feet
holding his left arm. "Now fuck off!" Austin backs up and eventually turns
around and I follow him. When he gets to the corner he stops and turns
around once again. This prompts me to turn around and look at James who is
once again collecting money from the gutter. "Oh, James!" Austin shouts.
James looks up. "There is a 7-11 over there." Austin points in the
direction away from the direction that we were walking. "They have a deal
on two litre bottles of Pepsi. Use some of those coins mate."

As James drops his head looking not only physically but emotionally
defeated, broken and bent, Austin puts his arm around me, rests the bat
over his shoulder again and escorts me back around the corner.


*****

chezdon1997@gmail.com