Date: Fri, 29 Jul 2011 14:05:58 +1030
From: Nick Miller <nick_miller@live.com.au>
Subject: Jake The Peg

I'm Jake the peg with my extra leg
teedle ee teedle ee teedle ee

Christ, I hate that fucking song.
Fucking Rolf 'arris. If I ever meet that Aussie wanker I'll give 'im
an extra leg all right. Right up 'is fuckin' backside.

Anyways I got that name, Jake. But I
shouldn't complain. I got it easy. A place to sleep, plenny of food.
If it rains I just duck under the lid o' the bin like. Rain I fuckin'
hate it. Still, gives me a chance to have a wash.

Christ, look at the wankers out there,
busy, busy, busy. All thinkin' they're so important flashin' their
money, buying stuff they don't even need. I get a few passing here,
takin' a short cut to their cars, fuckin' suits I hate 'em. Sometimes
they throw me a few coins, fucking coupla quid; straight to the
boozer for me. The stuff is shit but it warms up the innards, ya know
what I mean.

Throw? Yeah they throw the coins --
ain't nobody wants to get too close to me. Dunno why, still got my
own teeth, ain't I ?A couple  o' 'em anyhows ha ha.... Coupla prissy
mums come by with their brats in tow. Bet their hubbys are out
screwing the secretary. Fuckin' hate 'em all.

Anyhows, got a good spot here, near the
bins out the back of Tesco's. Should see the grub they chuck. Lotsa
consumibles. I don't ever go hungry -- steak, I eat it raw,
bananas, everything. I get a balanced diet.

Jake, I say, you got it good. Nobody
bothers you 'cept the fuckin' kids. Kids, I hate 'em most of all,
always noise, giving me grief.

"Hey Jake,"

"You stink, man"

"Fucking dosser"

You know the ones, think they know it
all, faces goin' all spotty, shopliftin', stealing whatever they can
lay their fuckin' hands on. Yeah, here come some now; just four of
them, still fucking squeaky voices.

"Look at the wino"

"Bet he's a homo"

If I could grab 'em I'd let 'em have
it.

The smallest one darts in, holding his
nose. The little shit -- try to kick me, will ya? I grab out and
just knock him off balance. He falls down almost on top of me. This
time I really do grab 'im. Hard, on his leg.
"Let him go, mister"
"Ralph, run!"

Ralph, so thats 'is name.

I turn and snarl at the others "Fuck
off or I'll have you all!"

I lunge up and they run off yelling.

The little 'un is quiet now. I give 'im
a good squeeze and he's crying.
"Don't hurt me mister."

Ha ha, hurt 'im. I'll hurt 'im alright.
I give 'im another squeeze higher up. This time he really does yell.
He's got some balls already.

I feel something below. I had almost
forgotten there was anything there. I ain't put my hands down there
for a long time. When I gotta......you know, I just let it go --
it's already pretty manky down there so a little bit more don't
matter.


Anyways, I give 'im another squeeze
and, glory be, he's hard. Just a little pecker, but hard. Who's the
homo now?


And me? I'm harder
than......than.....yesterday's baguette. I ain't been hard for ....
seems like forever but this is nice, very nice indeed.

Gotta have a decko. The little twerp's
wearin' those long shorts sorta hangin' off the hips, so a good pull
and they're down. Oh lookee lookee, little spiderman whiteys --
betcha little buddies don't know about this; if they did you'd be
gettin' some serious grief.

Didja mumsy wash ya little dinkie
before putting 'em on?

Now down ta business. Better hurry, the
cops'll be here soon. I rip 'is panties down. Me hands are still good
like.

Oh me! Oh my! What a beauty! Stickin'
straight out. A coupla eggs hangin' below; well, more like marbles. I
go straight in with a big slurp. Yum! Tastier than a jam tart. Again,
I take it all and the balls too. Ooh, a little bit smelly, maybe
mumsy forgot ta wash down there. All the more tasty for me.

The little tyke's gone quiet, just
crying now.

Now for the main course. I grab both
his legs and stick 'em up in the air. Oh yes, I'm sure I saw it wink!
I'm in there -- oh heaven, I'm sure he didn't wipe so well this
morning. First a good long slurp. Oh, that tastes so good. Now my
tongue is probing his little hole. Oh yeah, it opens up a little bit.
This is gonna be good. I grab 'im round the waist pulling 'is arse
back into my face. Now my tongue's in there and my hands are holding
'im firm while playing with his dick. I can feel it pulsing in my
hand. My dick? Well, I reckon it wants to join in the fun.

Here goes. I reach down to open myself,
a bit stuck. I reach down with me other hand. Oh there it is --
still a beauty. The girls used to love it when I used to get around.
(And the boys too sometimes, fuckin' queens)

Oh shit! Where's he gone? Up and
running. No pants. Ha ha.

Oh double shit! Here come the coppers.
I stuff his pants out of sight..

"What have you been up to, you
old pervert?" as the boot goes in. I
curl up and wait for the next one.

"Come on,
let's go. There's no kid here."

Yeah, fuck off, ya
fuckin' pervert yaself. Betcha suck off ya son every night. If I
could make it to ya house, I'd fuckin' fuck your son then your
daughter then ya dog too, so just fuck off!

The cops ain't
gonna take me in, messin' up their nice squad car so I'm Jake. Ha ha
ha.

I watch them
saunter off and pull out the kid's (Ralph was it?) panties. Look at
this, he shat himself -- no wonder he was so tasty. Pissed
himself as like as not too. Let's have a sniff. I can feel myself
getting hard again as my tongue goes in for a taste.