Date: Tue, 28 Aug 2012 13:56:22 -0400
From: Kid Kauber <askkidkauber@live.com>
Subject: Kid Kauber & The Ice Cream Man

Kid Kauber & The Ice Cream Man

Part 1

The adventures of Kid Kauber are fictional occurrences. It contains sexual
acts (or sexual tension) between an adult male, and an 11-year-old boy. If
you find this offensive or if you`re too young to be reading it, please
leave. This story may not be used or copied elsewhere without written
consent. If you like the story or have suggestions, send them to
AskKidKauber@Live.com:


Kid Kauber wasn't like the other kids. For example, his name was 'Kid'. Kid
could absorb information like a sponge. His genes, specifically. He had his
father's eyes almost as big and green as a football field, a button nose
just like his mother, and reddish `do-gooder' lips that made him look
innocent. But Kid wasn`t perfect, and he had a habit for watching grown-up
shows. By eleven, Kid had watched nearly twenty different cop dramas and
law shows. His favorite was Order & Law: SUV.  Kid has always been
sheltered by his parents, but TV alerted him there were bad people in the
world. Dangerous, ruthless, and just flat-out scary adults who would try to
hurt each other, as well as him. But in addition to curiosity, Kid also
gained feelings of desirability. It felt weird, but the idea that someone
would want him in a special way made him happy. Kid is only eleven, and
being the middle child between two brothers isn't exactly the spot of
attention. He would often arrive home with few inquires abut his day, and
then he go up to his room to watch more drama-TV.

It was a Friday night, and Kid's older brother, Henry was sulking at the
family computer. He was reading the frequent Mybook updates of his friends
while they spent their night partying from place to place. Henry had been
grounded for blowing up at mom and dad, and he promptly signed out and left
when mom entered the room. Kid ran up to the computer and tried to sign up
for the site, but his mother told him, "I think that site's a little old
for you, Kid. Besides, you know you can't use the computer this late
anyway, it's time for bed." Kid went upstairs disappointed that he was
still too young for certain things. He knew that some stuff wasn't okay to
do, but the things that happen on TV, don't actually happen in real life,
right? Kid's father walked past Kid's door without saying good night. He
was on his way to read little Benjamin a bedtime story. Kid climbed into
bed, and said his prayer. "I know my parents have to go help Grampa, but I
need them right now. Henry never plays with me, and even Benjamin thinks
I'm lame. My friends barely hang out with me, and you took my dog 2 years
ago, lord. I just want some attention. Please make my parents stay next
week." Kid finished his prayer and drifted off to sleep.

That Saturday morning, an ice cream van started making runs through the
neighborhood. Because it was unexpected, all the parents figured it'd be
okay if their children spoiled their lunches just this once. Kid took all
the money he had, which was five dollars, and he ran outside with his
brother Benjamin to the van. "I want twiple scoop swaberry with spwinkles!"
said Benjamin. Benjamin was eight years old, and couldn't make `R' sounds
very well if he was excited. Unfortunately, Benjamin's order didn't leave
any money for what Kid wanted. Kid quickly read the prices and knew he
couldn't get his order as well, but he still gave his money to the ice
cream man.

"You don't want anything, kid?" asked The ice cream man.  "How do you know
my name?" asked Kid, blushing because he knew the man had no idea his name
was simply 'Kid'.

Interested, because he had never heard of a kid named ... 'Kid', The ice
cream man, Edward, began to banter with the boy. "I know with those big
eyes you certainly saw how steep these prices are."

"yeah," said Kid, "but I'm out of money. If you could ... give me just a
plain vanilla, I'd be so grateful." Kid wanted to see what would happen if
he acted like the people from TV. "Whenever a woman with yellow hair breaks
up a sentence, or blinks one eye, she gets what she wants," Kid thought to
himself. "If I do it, maybe I can get some ice cream, even though I don't
have any money."

"Well, shucks, since you, uh, well, you can have whatever you want off the
menu, free," said Edward, with an eyebrow raised.

"In that case, can I have a banana split?" said Kid, while following
another tip from TV, licking his lips.

"Guh," uttered a now nervous Edward, "sure, I'll ... get it ... to you."

"Thanks, Mister!" said Kid.

"Oh, you can call me Eddy," smirked a wide-eyed Edward.

Kid took his banana split and went back inside his house. Benjamin had
finished nearly half of his triple scoop by then, and Ben's little tongue
was working around the clock to taste every last drip of that melting
treat. Kid ate his with almost the same enthusiasm, but it danced in his
mind how different he is, physically from a grown-up lady, and yet he was
able to act flirty like one, and yield similar results. If anyone can act
like that and get stuff, why isn't everybody? Kid was a little confused,
but little did he know, his life was about to change.

After church, Kid's mother would take Kid and Benjamin to the grocery store
to pick up some supplies. While she was comparing granola bar prices, Kid
wandered off to go get his favorite brand of chips.

"Hey, Kid, is that you?" a voice whispered from behind him.

Kid turned and saw that it was Eddy, dressed in a casual graphic tee and
jeans. "Without his silly ice cream hat, Eddy looks kind of ... cool,"
thought Kid. "Yeah, it's me. I really liked that banana split. Your cream
was sweet and your nuts were crunchy," said Kid, trying to flatter the man
he now suddenly looked up to.

"Thanks ... you know I make a lot of ice cream at home for practice--but I
don't eat it like a pig or anything 'cause I watch my bod,--well, I mean
I'm health conscious but I still have fun. I like ice cream and so do you,
you should have some--I mean, come have some sometime, you know?" a nervous
Eddy blurted out like lightning.

Kid had seen a romantic comedy with his mom the other day where the man was
just as awkward when talking to the woman he liked. Kid was confused, but
flattered he had somehow received the same reaction.

But where the man in the movie had been outrageously handsome, Ed was a bit
more normal. He was about 5'11", 190lbs, with dark brown hair. He had blue
eyes that were dreamy, but not creepy, and a masculine figure with arms
dusted in hair. Kid was coming of age, and his attractions were starting to
bloom. While he 'knew' that men were supposed to be with women, he really
knew that he was interested in men in a way he couldn't explain. He wanted
to go an 'extra mile' with his male friends but didn't know how. "What
flavors do you have at your house?" asked Kid.

"It's more like an apartment, I live at Farley's Room on Warner, apartment
43. As for the flavors, I have about five different boxes at a time," said
Eddy.

"Cool, I'll have to stop by for a free cone," Kid smiled. Kid's mother
turned out of her aisle and began approaching the two. "There you are,
Kid. Ben and I were looking for you," she said. Ed picked up some meat when
he saw her coming, and rolled his cart past them like he hadn't just been
talking to Kid.

"Was that the ice cream man?" asked Benjamin.

"No, Ben, it was just a shopper. You're so hyper," Kid quickly hissed at
his brother.

That night, Kid's father did remember to check on him. Kid was already in
bed, but his father, Paul, still came in.

"There's something we need to talk about, Kid."

"Like what, daddy?"

"You know that your mother and I are headed to Grandpa Sammy's tomorrow,
right?"

"Yeah, you said he was sick."

"He's gotten sicker, and Uncle Frederick can't stay with him for a while so
we're going up there to figure everything out. We'll take you boys to visit
soon, but right now we just need to make some arrangements, okay?"

"Okay, dad."

"You're a big boy, now. In fact, this talk is also sort of about how big
you're getting."

"I'm not tall like Henry."

"No, but you'll hit your growth spurt soon. All the men in our family have
always been late bloomers. I want to talk to you about the changes your
body is likely making right now."

That night, Paul told Kid about his eventual penis growth, his nocturnal
emissions, and his new hair that would sprout up and how he'd have to shave
it for his wife one day. The only things he didn't mention were why. Why
did his penis need to be bigger, and why would he ever need something as
scary sounding as emissions. All Kid had learned from watching those adult
shows was that sex was fun, loud and very difficult to do well. He had
heard something about a Vagina, but he was afraid to look it up because his
mother was always watching who used the computer. And besides, whatever it
was, it sounded yucky. Kid went to sleep not understanding much of what his
father had said. The next day, Kid's parents made their flight to his
grandfather, leaving Henry in charge, with periodic check-ups from
neighbors.

On this hot summer day, Kid was bored. All of a sudden it occurred to him,
"Why don't I get some ice cream?"

Kid wanted to see Ed, and he knew his mom and dad wouldn't let him go see
some adult stranger if they knew about it. He knew they'd fear that the man
might molest him. But honestly, Kid saw a risk, but felt content with any
circumstance. He knew he was feeling something for Ed, and he was fairly
sure that Ed felt the same way. Part of Kid hoped that Ed would make a
really cool boyfriend. "He could drive me places, beat up bullies, and make
me awesome treats!" thought Kid. "If he were my boyfriend, since I'm a boy
too, I guess I'd be his boyfriend. I guess we'd do boyfriend stuff, but
that sounds like homosexuality, and I don't think people would like that. I
think I like Ed, but I guess we can't really be a couple. I'll just
... pretend he's my boyfriend ... in my mind."

Kid rode his bike for about 10 minutes until he made it to the street Ed
lived on. He saw Farley's Room, the complex that Ed stayed at, and hid his
bike in a bush so no one would steal it. A bit nervous hoping Henry or Ben
wouldn't notice he was gone, Kid walked up the steps to the higher
apartment doors. "Was it apartment 43 or 48?" Kid thought to himself. Kid
walked over to door 48 and knocked. "Fuck off!" a voice bolted from the
room. "Yeesh, I hope that wasn't Ed," Kid whispered as he walked to door
43. Kid knocked more softly this time, and hoped for the best. After about
20 seconds, Ed answered the door.

"Kid, come in!" said an elated Ed, towering over the boy. "Welcome to my
place. It's small, but it's home until I make some more cash."

"It's a nice place, cool TV," Kid said, shocked by the size of the
flat-screen.

"Thanks, I splurge."

"'Splurge?' My dad was telling me about that last night."

Ed laughed as he stepped into the kitchen.

"Is there any ice cream, preferably a banana split?" asked Kid.

"Of course! Make yourself comfortable while I get you one."

Kid had effectively snuck across a few blocks wearing nothing but a shirt,
some short shorts, and sandals. Innocent enough, but it could look sexy if
you had the right mind. Kid sat on the couch and initially turned to the
cartoons, but decided to turn to a cop drama to impress Ed.

"Are you sure you wanna see that?" asked Ed. "That episode of SpongeBill is
pretty funny. I saw it back in the 90's when I was 15." Kid was surprised,
and he turned back to the cartoon. Once Ed finished the treat, he served it
to Kid, and they shared it on the couch together.

"People say you have to get away in the summer, but this is my idea of a
good time," said Ed, with Kid now leaning lightly on his arm.

"How old are you?" Kid asked.

"I'll be 28 in a month. Whatzitooyah?"

"Nothing, you're just a lot cooler than my brother, but he's only 16." Kid
looked at Ed's shelf and noticed a certain video game. "No way! You have
Zombie Racers 4?"

Kid jumped off the couch and looked at the other games. "You have so many
cool games, Ed!" Kid was very excited now, and Ed was taken in by the charm
of his enthusiasm. Time seemed to slow down, and life felt right when he
saw that boy dancing in front of him with youthful abandon. Ed's heart sped
up as Kid bent down in front of him to examine some of the games. Ed felt
his member start to stiffen, and his inhibitions dropping.

"Do you want it?" Ed asked.

"You'd really give it to me?"

"Er--um, the game? Right, well, there is one thing I want in return ..." Ed
said while picking up Zombie Racers 4. "I'll give you the game ... if you
kiss me."

In that moment, Kid froze. Several things went through his mind. "This guy
is one of those perverts! Wait, didn't I secretly want him to be? ... I
came to his house... I was really flirting... I thought about kissing him
... what'd it be like, but he's still the weird one here. I don't want him
to know I want to do it ... but I want to do it. I think I might be gay,
and if I kiss him, I really will be. What if people find out, what if they
make fun of me!? Oh god, what if Ed gets arrested? That's what would happen
on TV. I'm only 11, I can't believe I got myself into this. I'm so scared
... but I want to do it. I'm gonna do it." And with that, Kid leaned
forward and kissed Ed. Both their hearts pounding at a mile a minute. Kid
thought of the end of that romantic comedy where the couple kissed. He felt
as if this moment were just as beautiful, and he understood why it made his
mother cry. After 6 seconds the kiss relaxed, and Ed leaned his head to the
left a little and worked like a pro, making this kiss more passionate. He
was getting turned on, and so was Kid. Ed pulled Kid back on the couch and
had dropped the silly video game. Stunned, Kid resisted. "Whoa, what are
you doing?"

"I--, I thought you wanted more. I'm sorry."

"Don't be, it was a really good kiss. Now I know why people like them so
much. I'm just glad my first one was with a friend."

"We're still friends?"

"Absolutely," said Kid, not letting on just how touched he really was.

The two watched the rest of cartoon and talked about how the recent
episodes aren't any good. When they were done, Ed gave Kid the video
game. "Thanks, Ed. You're a really cool guy."

"Well, you're a cool kid," Ed smiled.

"I just want you to know ... I like you ... and I wanna kiss you again
tomorrow."

"Uh--, okay. That's great."

"I don't care if that makes me gay, I want to do it. Are you ... gay, Ed?

"...I have some things to think about, and it seems like you do too. I'll
see you tomorrow, get home safe."

"Kay, thanks," Kid sighed as he walked downstairs. As he got on his bike,
Kid thought to himself, "Ed's right. There are a lot of things I need to
figure out. I've never met a gay person before, only seen a few on TV. If I
am one, I'll probably be an outcast. I know my parents will always love me,
but things would definitely change. If they found out about Ed, they'd make
me stop seeing him--or worse, they'd have him thrown in jail! I have to
keep this a secret, or I might have to not see him tomorrow, or ever again.
But if Ed feels the same way about me that I feel about him, that's not an
option." Kid rode home and snuck in through the back door. Henry was
playing video games, and Benjamin was still bugging him for a turn. Kid
went upstairs while they were distracted, and sat in his room.

It felt weird, but the idea that someone would want him in a special way
made him happy. Kid was only eleven, and being the middle child between two
brothers isn't exactly the spot of attention. He arrived home with no
inquires abut his day, and then he snuck up to his room like he had never
left. His childhood was hard, and thanks to Eddy, it was getting harder.


So what did you think? Email me at AskKidKauber@live.com

Part 2 coming soon!