Date: Fri, 24 Jul 2015 05:02:21 +0000 (UTC)
From: Gaia Farnese <snoringsoftly@yahoo.com>
Subject: Koi no Yokan 5

A/N: "Fantasy, lacking courage or conviction, carries no weight."

The songs corresponding to the parts of this chapter are Never Let Me Go by
Lana Del Rey and Quiet by This Will Destroy You.

Standard disclaimer and copyright notices apply.

Please consider donating to Nifty.


*3 years earlier*

Pink rays pierced the settling dust, giving the city a hazy make up to
cover all the ugliness beneath, if only for a few hours at a time. Darkness
always brought out the true faces of things and there was nothing anyone
could do about it. But in the short hours of dusk, it made it easier to
forget all about the hideousness.

Nocens was up early. Early for a wolf, that is.

He'd woken up distressed and headed out almost immediately after he had
climbed out of bed. That is how the beginnings of twilight found him on his
bike, parked behind a garage on one of the numerous lanes in Main
Residential. If you asked a passerby about him, they would have told you to
mind your business and continued on their way. Such was the blind faith the
denizens had in the Wolves, despite the fear, despite the stories
circulating for centuries.

He'd hoped for a glimpse, he admitted to himself, but it seemed almost
impossible to get one now that he was at the right place, at the wrong
time.

Parents had already returned home from work and nobody let their young out
close to sunset, no matter the circumstances. Which was just right, Nocens
decided, because those were the rules, after all. It didn't help improve
his mood though, desperate as he was for a little joy in his dreary life.

Was it possible that a whole year had passed? At times it seemed like it
was only yesterday, but other times, when he realised that he had made an
elaborate fantasy out of the short meeting, he understood just how much
time had passed. How much he had lost in that one, long year.

Like a thirsty man faced with a mirage, he shivered all over and had
trouble controlling himself once his eyes, and mind, registered the
situation in front of him. Hidden in the weak shadows of the garage, he
watched the boy exit the building, his small hand held securely in his
grandmother's wrinkly one.

She had two big, plastic bags in the other hand, seemingly too heavy for
her, but she managed. He held a bag too, a significantly smaller one, meant
to indulge him. So they were out to dispose of the waste, Nocens' mind
informed him, in the mad rush to find an explanation for the unusual
coincidence.

A wave of longing washed over him as he drank in the sight. The boy seemed
happy, his body almost bouncing with the gaiety of his gait. When he turned
his head to smile at his grandmother, Nocens' heart seemed to flip over and
try to break out of its cage. The notion put a smile on his face too,
albeit a discreet one. It wouldn't do to have any on-lookers see him in
such a strange position.

He watched the boy and his grandmother move away, all the while thinking
about lucid dreaming and skin on skin.

It was time, it seemed.

His body had started giving the signals early on during the year, but he'd
ignored them in favour of resolving the problem with the
rebels. Only... well, it was not unnatural for a wolf to be attracted to a
male, but one so young? It hardly made sense, especially because Nocens was
aware that there was little the boy could do for him.

He would never understand, Nocens decided, his eyes shutting off to the
pink haze and the light the boy carried around with him.

He thought about the story of the sun and the moon as he turned his bike to
head in the opposite direction. There was no point in him remaining in this
peaceful neighbourhood, he didn't belong here. He belonged out there, on
the borders, fighting and killing, leading a life that knew no soft thighs
and softer sighs.

He fancied some of the heaviness blanketing him dispersed as he turned on
the engine and roared his way out of Lane 23. He didn't see the fleeting
look of wonder resonate in a pair of warm, hazel eyes as they followed his
back. If he did, it would have crushed his fancy completely.



*Back to present*

"—but why would they do something so obvious? It's so unlike them!"

"I don't know," Mike shrugged, gulping down a third of his beer in one go.

"Well, does anybody?" Chris pushed, looking around the room as if he was
going to pick one of them to speak next. "Besides, why would they leave the
body in a classroom of all places?"

"Maybe it was a nod to their colleagues from couple of years ago..." Cipher
supplied, eyes conveying he was deep in thought. "I see no other reason
they would break into the school."

"Or maybe they found out about the cubs over there? It'd do you well to
quit playing around, Jon," Chris continued.

Jon, predictably, rose to the bait. "Don't you dare tell me what to do, you
scruffy lil—!"

"That's enough, Jon," Mike cut in, waving his bottle for emphasis. "Chris,
if the cub can keep quiet, then I don't see a way they'd have heard of it."

Jon nodded, eyebrows furrowed in a nasty scowl. "You don' know Maurice for
shit, Chris," he told his fellow wolf, then turned away to finish his beer.

"I think it was probably a nod to the terrorists back then," Daniel chipped
in, chin moving up to indicate something firmly left behind them. "But the
message is more important anyway," he went on. "They clearly want to try
making us paranoid."

"Ha ha, paranoid? Come on!" Jo added from the corner. He'd been sitting
there quietly for the better part of the evening, pensively listening to
his colleagues discuss the latest murder. "'haps they wanted to show us
they can slit a throat too, that's what I think they meant!"

Cipher sat down with a frown, flashing a look at Nocens who was leaning
against the counter.

"Well, they know. So?"

"What do they know?" somebody asked. A myriad of answers followed.

"That we have spies among them, you arse!"

"They know we're trying to save the rep—!"

"Obviously, they know we're trying to stop them."

"They know shite, they do!"

"I believe they know we know about some of their plans," a voice suggested
from the doorway.

"Bart!" Cipher exclaimed.

"Hey, welcome!" Mike added, flashing the figure in the shadows a grin.

Nocens looked up to take in the newest presence.

Bart wasn't spending his time in The Dwelling nearly as much nowadays, so
they were always happy to see him, especially if he was healthy and
functioning. It helped a lot that he was willing to involve himself in this
fight too, considering all the experience he had. He'd lived through
several rebellions, though none of them featuring an army of rebels as
spirited as this one. It almost felt like they were up against a serious
enemy. The people behind Project Calypso gave the impression of a serious
threat even to them, the invincible guardians of the city.

"I come from the borders, where a little bird told me they are now aware
we're tracking them."

"But do they know who helps us do it?" Cipher asked, worry visible on his
face.

"I don't think so, but I can't be sure. They know something is off on their
side, but they can't possibly know more than that. I don't think they've
thought of the possibility of us having insiders in their little rebel cult
yet," he explained in his lively voice. He sat down and lighted a
cigarette, looking around the room to scan the faces of his younger
fellows.

"You've been fighting again, haven't you?"

"No."

"Yes!"

"It's stupid, really!"

"What's up?" Bartholomew asked this time. His eyes pinned Jo, who only
shrugged in response. "Haven't touched a woman for a while now. Save your
looks for Jon," he added after a brief pause, head tilting to point out
Jon's location.

"What's that now?" Daniel leaned in, staring at Jon curiously.

"I never hit him, you git," Jon told Jo with a sneer. "I'm not like you."

"Boys, calm down," Bartholomew interjected.

"I have this cub," Jon turned to explain to Bartholomew, "and these cunts
think he's the source of all trouble..."

"Hey, a cub is not the worst thing a wolf can do," Bartholomew told the
group a moment later, the beginnings of a grin starting to show on his
face. "But if he can't keep quiet, then we have a problem," he added in a
serious tone. Several heads nodded, while Jon's sneer deepened.

"He's quiet, all right? Drop it."

"Fine. Just be careful, Jon."

"A little sex never hurt anybody..."

"True. And there are some here who would benefit from it, but that's
another topic altogether. Tell me, what are your plans?" Bartholomew asked
them, after he accepted a beer from Mike.

"We spoke to the Principal and even the students – there's nothing much
we can get from—"

"I'm not asking what you did and how you handled the case. I'm asking what
your plans are."

"We continue killing," Nocens answered, the tone of his voice belying the
intent behind it.

Several heads shifted to get a better look at him.

"That's the only thing we can do right now. Besides, we can't stop now. If
we stop, all the previous work turns meaningless."

"Maybe that's what they're trying to accomplish. Make us stop actively
pursuing them, and the witnesses, so they can get started on tarnishing our
image."

"But these people are valuable to us too, aren't they? Even with a couple
of informants on our side," Cipher pointed out.

"Yes, they are. Those few we find once in a while," Daniel replied,
sounding put off. "Most of them are too damaged to get a single sentence
out of them, much less the extent of what they've seen."

"Still, we gotta continue the work," Jo said resolutely.

"I agree with Jo," Bartholomew nodded, "and Nocens," he added, pointing to
the tall figure in front of the window. "These people have valuable
information, even if it's just a few words per head. Anything new you can
discover is important for fighting the enemy. Especially because there are
fewer witnesses by the day. We must use whoever is left, decrepit or
not... Then dispose of them quietly."

Most of them agreed, some reluctantly and others rather
enthusiastically. It was good to know that even after so many years, the
words of Bartholomew carried the same weight.

Sometimes they didn't realise just how much they needed this wolf in the
course of their work, at least until something caught them off guard. He
was their anchor but also their vessel for good ideas and encouragement.

"OK, well, we seem to be done here," Jo concluded, standing up. He grabbed
his nearly empty bottle, downed it in one go, and headed out of the
kitchen. "Call me if you need me, I'll be at my usual."

A chorus of "bye" followed his exit.

"All right then, who's cooking today?"



The weak, morning sun did little to improve the dullness of the city, Eiri
concluded, as he put on his trainers. With weather like this and some less
than pleasant current ongoings, he was definitely not looking forward to
another day at school. It didn't help that he had a pile of work to do once
he returned home, considering he hadn't touched anything the previous few
days. It would have been nice if it was only schoolwork, but no, his mother
had noticed that he'd skipped doing some of the `family chores' and she was
sure to remind him of the `family pact' any day now. He sighed as he
finished tying the trainers, then picked up his bag and turned the keys in
the lock. Things were a lot more difficult since his grandmother passed
away.

He locked the door and descended the stairs, trying his best not to think
about the day ahead.

Number 11 shone against the pale exterior of his building. The neighbour's
dog greeted him as it did every morning for the past ten years.

Some things never changed, Eiri thought with a note of tenderness, then
waved to the dog. He contemplated walking to school but, realising what
awaited him later during the day, decided against it. He could always walk
back home after school if he felt like it, though he doubted he would.
Still, on days like this, he couldn't help but wish for somebody to join
him on his way to school. That made him think about how difficult it was to
find friends in Estéril these days. He at least had his grandmother
before.

Getting on the subway deep in thought, Eiri almost failed to notice Jett,
who was waving a book at him, a disgustingly bright smile on his face.

"Hey mate, here's your book!"

"Thanks," Eiri responded, taking the book and adding it to the pile in his
bag.

"Good morning to you too!" Jett continued in his revolting manner. Eiri
merely rolled his eyes and sat down. But that didn't put off Jett because
two heartbeats later he was sitting next to Eiri, his smile looking even
brighter if possible. That was around the time Eiri knew he was up to
something, even if that something was only intended to annoy Eiri further.

"Where do you find the strength?" he asked Jett, truly curious.

"What strength? You know, Eiri, it doesn't take a lot of energy to
smile. You can try it sometime... Maybe now?"

Rolling his eyes again, Eiri turned his head to look out. The darkness of
the underground matched his state of mind.

"Do you have any issues at home?" Jett asked, tone serious all of a sudden.

"What? No, no I don't. Why'd you think that?"

"I dunno. Guess I'm just curious, you're so glum most of the time."

"I'm not."

"OK, you're not."

They spent the rest of the ride quiet, looking away from each other. When
they heard their station announced, they both stood up and approached the
doors.

Once they were back to the surface of Estéril, Jett seemed keen on
picking up the conversation.

"So, what do you think of the latest affairs?" he asked Eiri, tone light
and conversational.

"What latest affairs?" Eiri asked in return, having only a rough idea of
what Jett could be on about.

"Come on, don't tell me you don't know!" Jett elbowed Eiri, the beginnings
of a smirk on his face.

"What are you on about?"

"I'm talking about what happened in the science classroom, of course!"

"I've no idea what happened in the science classroom, Jett. How do you know
anyway?"

"Ah, can't say!"

"Well then, I don't see a point in continuing this conversation."

"Fine, have it your way."

Eiri felt bad immediately, having put off Jett twice in the same
morning. But it was so difficult not to burst into speculation, especially
knowing that his classmate associated with some figures who undoubtedly
knew what happened in their school a couple of days ago. He didn't want to
sound like an idiot, so he figured he'd best change the subject. Only, he
was so awkward that he didn't know how to change the subject without
completely discouraging Jett in the process.

Luckily, they reached the school grounds quickly, and then Jett was gone,
off to meet some friends under the oak tree. Eiri scanned the grounds, a
late habit of his that made him feel self-conscious. Finding that there
were no bikes or leather jackets in sight, he relaxed slightly, letting go
of the invisible tension he carried around with him ever since the day he
saw the Wolves.

Entering the main building, Eiri took a note of the liveliness of the
place. Chatter filled the halls as students waited for the lecturers to
open the doors to the classrooms. Some of them were checking their
homework, others writing it last minute. Groups of students discussed
whatever interested them at this age: boys, girls, fashion, music, the
rebels, Tropos et cetera.

On many mornings in the past Eiri had found himself wishing he was part of
any of these groups, if only for the sake of having a normal
conversation. This morning was no different, although he would have
preferred to join some groups more than others.

His lecturer's hand on his shoulder shook Eiri out of his daze. Panicked,
he focused his eyes on her smiling face, his mind starting to register the
words she was speaking at him.

"Good morning, Eiri. Listen, I forgot the questionnaires in the lounge –
would you do me a favour and bring them in? You know I promised your
classmates to look them over this time."

He found it impossible to refuse her kind face, even though he didn't
exactly feel like walking all the way to the lounge. He nodded and turned
away from her, forgetting that she was supposed to give him the
keys. Several people laughed, Jonas most notably among them.

"Eiri, wait!" she called after him, hurrying to unlock the door of the
classroom. "Here you go, take these. It's the small, red key," she
explained as she handed him the set of keys. Students pushed him away
quickly, heading inside the classroom. English lessons were always
difficult and tiring, even though the lecturer was one of the nicest they
had in the whole school. It was because three classes took the lessons at
once, so it was a feat to get through each lesson.

Eiri walked away from the classroom area and headed out to the adjoining
building. The lounge was located a safe distance from the main halls of the
school, partially because the governors wanted to keep it out of immediate
vicinity of students and partially because the school had expanded
externally when they had begun the renovations of the complex several years
prior.

Walking to the building, he failed to notice a very peculiar smell in the
air. However, upon stepping into the hallway leading to the lounge, he
couldn't help but sniff the air. Leather, he smelled leather, and sharp
cologne.

Eyes widening, Eiri whirled about, looking for the tell-tale cuff of a
jacket, or a bike parked out in front of the entrance. When he found none,
he cursed himself for his stupidity and continued on his way. It wouldn't
do to have the lecturer wait for too long. He was just being paranoid
anyway, he decided, firmly ignoring the tension creeping back between his
shoulder blades.

A few steps into the darkened hallway, he heard a door being opened.

"Yes, of course. We will be in touch, whatever happens next. Thank you for
helping us understand this case. Have a wonderful day!"

The door closed and boots clicked on the granite.

Eiri almost stopped in his tracks again, but he suddenly remembered that he
had to be quick so he rounded the corner in haste, slamming into a tall
somebody who had done the same from the other side.

It happened too quickly for him to avert his gaze. Eiri looked up in
surprise and found a pair of blue eyes blinking down at him. The speed with
which they registered him astounded Eiri, so much that he needed a few
seconds to notice the long hair and leather jacket. `Oh shite,' he thought,
just a moment before he heard one dry "Excuse me".

Then the wolf was gone and Eiri was left to stand in the hallway, feeling
like he'd just been slammed into the wall. He counted to ten as tears
started prickling his eyes, realization dawning on him.  He'd just been
bumped into and shamelessly ignored by Neko, the same Neko who had
proclaimed that he found Eiri interesting only three days ago.

Miserable, he looked back to get a glimpse of the wolf again, but he was
gone, so quickly that Eiri started wondering if he'd imagined him.

Shaking his head, he looked ahead and focused on finishing the task given
to him. He would get those question papers to his lecturer and he would
most certainly not cry.

*~*