Date: Sat, 21 Apr 2007 20:17:03 -0500
From: Lance Dawson <lance.dawson@hotmail.com>
Subject: Section 4 of Lance's Story

Jay's dinner was fantastic.  We discussed a lot of things other than law
school.  He thanked me for the flowers.  He told me how romantic he thought
it was that I had kept track of the number of times we had been together.  I
told him that each time had meant a lot to me.  He welled up.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"It's nothing."

"Jay, tell me."

"It's OK."

"I want to know what I said to upset you."

"It's not that, Lance.  It's just that I'm so happy."

I smiled.  "I am, too, Babe," I said, "I am too."

We had the apple pie.  He had actually made it from scratch.  It was his
mother's recipe.

"Straight people aren't supposed to know how to cook, Baby," I told him.

"I don't suppose I'm straight anymore, Babe.  I mean, I've had a 12" cock up
my ass 59 times now for up to 30 minutes at a time at a furious pace.
That's more inches than a lot of gay men get during a whole lifetime."

I laughed hysterically.  "That makes you a little whore.  I'm not sure it
makes you gay, though," I said as I giggled.

"Whore, huh?  How about let's make it an even 60?"

"I think that could be arranged."  Jay giggled as I got up, went over to him
grabbed him in my arms, lifted him out of his chair, and laid him down on
his back on the floor beside the table.  Jay spread his legs wide open, as
only a supple gymnast can do, and I took my rightful place in between them
on top of him.

"So, is this what you want?" I asked.

"Yum, yum!" he said, grinning from ear to ear.

Jay pulled me down by the back of my head and shoved his tongue down my
throat.  I returned the favor.  I also kissed his neck and behind his ears
while he sighed.  We went on like this for what seemed like hours.
Suddenly, something came over me.  I stopped kissing Jay and rose a few
inches from his face, and looked at him straight into his eyes.

"Beg me to fuck you!" I ordered him harshly.

"No!" he answered playfully.

"I said, tell me you have to have my huge fat cock in your ass.  Beg me to
fuck you!"

"No!  I won't," he said again chuckling.  "You'll just have to take it if
you want it, bitch."

"I'm not kidding, Jay," I said.  "Beg me to fuck you this minute."

Jay looked up into my eyes.  He started to suspect I might be serious.

"I don't like this game, Lance.  Stop it."

"Either beg me to fuck your ass with my huge cock right now, or we're
through, and I'll never fuck you again.  NOW!"

"You're scaring me, Babe!  I love you, more than anything, but I won't do
it.  I won't let you force me.  It's not healthy for either one of us."

I stared into his eyes for a full 10 seconds.  Finally I went down to him
slowly.  He was scared but didn't move.  I kissed him lightly on the lips.
His lips didn't move.  I moved to his right ear.

"Please, Jay, please beg me to fuck your ass with my huge cock.  Please," I
whispered.

Jay finally caught on.  He placed his right hand behind my head and ran his
fingers through my hair.  He knew I didn't really WANT for him to beg me.
For some reason, I NEEDED for him to beg me.  He loved me deeply.  He
decided his man needed him.  He'd give his man what he needed and try to
figure out later what was going on.

He pushed me up gently so I could see his face.  He was smiling, and his
eyes were sparkling.  They clearly said, "Yes."  That got me erect faster
than had ever happened before.

Jay got out from under me as quickly as possible.  He undid the strap that
connected the cod piece to the waist strap behind him to give me access to
his asshole.  As he did it, he turned his backside toward just to tease me.

He then took the tub of butter off the table and greased up my 12" cock.  It
felt soooooooooo good.  Then the little bitch greased up my huge balls and
played with them for awhile.  Finally, he slipped his finger under my balls
toward my asshole.  I was so surprised I didn't say anything.  He entered my
asshole with his finger slowly but firmly.  It felt good.  It was at that
point that he spoke.

"OK, big boy, or should I say `huge boy.'  Fuck me with that huge cock.  And
when I say `fuck,' I don't mean gently, I mean hard.  I mean deep.  I mean
use me.  Use me like a whore.  Like a whore you're going to throw away as
soon as you're done with me.  I got all dressed up for the occasion, didn't
I?  So I deserve it.  Fuck me, bitch  FUCK ME!!"

He got up and ran off to his bedroom before I could grab him.  I followed
him as quickly as I could, my huge greasy cock slapping against my belly as
I ran.  By the time I got there, he was at the foot of his bed, standing on
his head, facing away from the bed, his back leaning against it.  His legs
were split completely wide open--180°! --like only a supple gymnast can do.

"Fuck me you horny bitch!" he said.  "That is, if you're man enough, if your
cock is big enough to handle this ass."

"Oh, fuck!" I said, as I lost complete control of all my senses except for
the sense of touch, the sense that would give me all the pleasure from
fucking the shit out of my little boy gymnast who was sprawled out in front
of me.

I stood at the foot of his bed facing away from it, my big feet on either
side of his head.  He grabbed a hold of my ankles pretended he needed to
steady himself.  He didn't really have to.  He just did it to turn me on.
And it fucking did, as he knew it would.

I entered him from above.  I started fucking him in a position I'd never
fucked before.  It was glorious.  My huge balls slapped his ass every time I
slammed all the way into him.  He groaned every time I hit his prostate.  We
went on like this for about 15 minutes.  Every once in awhile he moved over
slightly and licked my ankles.  I moaned every time he did it.  He giggled
every time I did.

Every once in awhile he'd say something nasty like, "Listen bitch, if you
can't handle this, I'll go find another fucker who can.  I SAID FUCK ME!"

"Oh, fuck!" was all I could say, and I started fucking him harder and
deeper.  That made him giggle.

Finally he said, "Haven't you got any more cock?  I told you I wanted all of
your huge cock.  I think you're holding out on me."

"That's it, you slut!" I said.  I picked him up, threw him on his back on
his bed, spread his legs, ripped off his cod piece, and entered him again.
He once again spread his legs wide.  That was the most incredible position.
That position was the absolute best to allow someone to get in the deepest.

"Oh, fuck!" he said.

"So, you little shit!  You're starting to get enough cock yet, huh?"

"Ugh," he said, as his eyes rolled to the back of his head.

"Yeah!" I replied.  "Take that cock!!"

Soon Jay started getting into it and decided to meet my thrusts.  He wrapped
his powerful gymnast legs around my ass and started pulling me into him
every time with each one of my thrusts.  It was a fantastic feeling--for both
of us.

After about five minutes of fucking and silence, I could sense he was
getting close to coming.  I stopped thrusting, though I kept my cock up his
ass, as I bent down to him and kissed him lightly on the lips.  Since he had
his eyes closed, he didn't expect it, and he just groaned slightly.  I bent
over to his right ear.

"I love you, Jay," I whispered.

He moaned.

"Oh, Lance," he said softly as he swooned.  Suddenly I felt a hot sticky
sensation on my belly.  He had cum.

"Did I hear me?  I said I love you."

"Yes, Lance," he said.  More sticky sensation.  More cum.

I moved to the other ear.

"I think I've loved you since the day I met you, Jay, but I just didn't know
it till a few days ago now."

No response, but lots more cum.  The warm sensation on my stomach of
shooting cum every time I said something that turned him on was phenomenal.

"Maybe it was all the pressure of school.  But now I know, Jay.  I love you
more than anyone I've ever loved, Jay."

Jay dug his nails into my back.  It hurt, but I knew he was experiencing
ecstasy, so I didn't flinch.  He jerked.  His smile said it all.  I looked
at him till he opened his eyes and looked at me adoringly.

"God, but you're easy!" I said.  He started laughing hysterically.  Then I
did, too.

"Lance, you haven't cum yet."

"That's true, you little bitch," I said as I continued to laugh.  "You think
you can still take a little more of my huge cock?"

"Always, Babe.  Always."

I started thrusting up Jay's ass again.  He was in heaven.  The man who
loved him--the very first man who had told him he loved him--was fucking him.
What more could anyone ask for?

I soon was ready to cum.

"Shoot it up my ass, Babe," he said.

"Are you sure, Baby?  You've never let me do that before."

"This is a special occasion.  Besides, I trust you.  I CAN trust you,
right?"

"Yes, Babe.  You can.  I'll never hurt you, at least not that way.  And, as
I already told you, if I'm going to start anything with someone else, I'll
let you know first.   And I can't imagine that'll happen, not the way I feel
about you.  Or, at least if I stray and fuck someone else, I won't fuck you
again without telling you first."

"OK, Lance.  Same goes for me, too.  And that goes for women, too."

We both laughed.

"OK.  Here goes.  I unloaded up Jay's ass.  It was quite a load.  Jay kept
pulling me in with his strong legs, smiling every time he did.  I couldn't
look into his eyes.  They distracted me too much.  God, those beautiful
eyes!  Jay giggled as I kept coming.

"Jesus Christ, Babe!" he said.  "What a load!"

"Huge cock, huge load."

"I guess," he said, giggling.

I lay down beside him, pulling him over into my arms.  His strong firm body
was a joy to hold tightly.  It was a fantastic feeling.

"I'm sorry," I finally said.

"For what?" he said.

"For all that stuff before, making you beg and everything."

"Yeah, what was that all about?" he said.

"I've known I love you for at least a few days, Jay, but I've been afraid to
tell you?"

"So what's that have to do with the begging."

"Well, the reason I've been afraid to tell you is that I'm afraid of what's
going to happen with us.  There are so many things against us.  You may
decide at any time that you want to go back to being straight, and if I'd
told you I love you, that would devastate me.  Also, you've only got another
year and a half of law school, and then you may leave.  What would happen
then?  I already went through that with my first love, and it nearly killed
me.  Finally, I'm the first gay man you've experienced.  That relationship
usually doesn't last too long, just like the first girlfriend for a straight
man.  You could well find a gay man who is more compatible with you while
we're together, and that would hurt like hell, too."

"Lance, you're an intelligent man.  You know there are no guarantees in
life.  But I can tell you a few things you can count on, Babe.  First, I'm
not going back to being straight--certainly not as long as I have you around.
  Second, there'll never be another man for me--again, not as long as you're
around.  Third, neither of us knows what's going to happen in a year and a
half when I graduate, but if you don't live and love today, just because
you're afraid of what might happen in the future, you'll never experience
love at all.  You know that."

"I know, Jay," I said.  "You're right.  But it still scares me."

"OK, so you're scared a little.  I understand that, but it still doesn't
explain the begging," he said.

"Simple," I said, "or at least I think it's simple, if I got anything out of
the psyche classes I took as an undergrad.  I had a panic attack tonight
right before I was about to tell you, and something came over me.  I think I
then overcompensated for my perceived lack of control of the whole situation
by needing to control our sexual situation at that moment.  I'm sorry.
Nothing like that has ever happened to me before, and I promise it'll never
happen again."

Jay turned, looked up at me and smiled, then kissed and licked my nipples
and said, with a somewhat evil and playful gleam in his eye, "Does that make
it all better?"

I laughed and said, "Yeah, it does.  The only problem is that I'm supposed
to be doing that to you."

"Well," he said, "if you really want to make it all better, I've got
something else in mind . . ."

"Yeah, what's that?" I said.

"Well, it's something I've wanted to do for a long, long time, but I'm not
sure how you would react, so I haven' wanted to say anything."

I was a little afraid to ask, but curious as hell, and turned on, too.

"OK, Babe.  No secrets.  Let's have it.  I just told you that I love you.
There's nothing I can think of that I wouldn't do for you right now," I
said.

"I hope you mean that, Lance, because I don't want to upset you."

"I hope I do, too.  And I promise you, it won' upset me.  Look, the worst I
can do is say `No.'  I tell you what, you promise me that if I do say `No'
now, you won't get upset, and we'll discuss it.  And I promise that if I do
say `No' now, I'll think seriously about it and try to say `Yes' sometime
soon."

"OK, Lance.  Here goes.  First, tell me.  Why do you think I got dressed up
in leathers tonight?  I mean, what is the usual role played by the man who
is dressed in leathers?"

"Uh, I thought you did it to look cute for me," I said.

He smiled.  "Well, I did.  But think more generally, about gay men in
general?"

I thought for a couple of seconds.  Then it hit me.  I looked at him
somewhat incredulously.

"You mean . . .?"

"Yeah," he said, with the biggest fucking grin on his puppy dog face.  Then
he got up and kissed me, hard and deep.

"Lance, you turn me on so much.  I've got to experience it.  And I want the
first time to be with you--with the man I love, the first man I've ever
loved."

"But Jay, I've never done that before!" I said.

"You're kidding!" he said.  "You mean I'd be fucking a virgin?  Popping a
cherry?  Oh my God, Lance, you've just got to let me do it.  Please!"

How could I resist?  He was so cute in his leathers.  He had given me so
much.  I loved him so much.  Besides, it would be a new experience for me,
too.  Not only that, his 8" thick cock was quite respectable as cocks go.
How could I deny him what he had given me?  I decided I'd give the little
bitch the best fuck he'd ever had.  He didn't know it yet, but I was going
to teach him how to fuck a man and fuck him good.

"OK, Babe.  Anything for you."

"You mean it?"

"Yes, I do."

I went down on him and started sucking his cock.  After a few minutes, I
started deep throating him, something I'd never done before.

"Oh, God, Lance.  That's fucking unbelievable."

"Yeah, isn't it, though," I said.  "You want to be the top, you're going to
get all the advantages of a top.  Now start ordering me what to do, Babe."

Jay just moaned.  "Deeper, bitch.  Deeper."

I looked up at him and smiled and winked as I shoved his cock down my throat
over and over as deep as it could get.  He moaned, and moaned, and moaned.

"Don't get too exited.  You've got to fuck a really tight hole," I said.

"Get the lube!" he ordered me.

"Yes, master!" I said.

"That's right.  I like that.  Call me `Sir' for the rest of this fuck."

"Yes, Sir.  Whatever you say, Sir.  It's a pleasure to serve you, Sir.  May
I assist you, Sir?" I asked him.

"Yes, bitch.  Right away."

I squeezed a little lube on his fingers and then got in position on all
fours.  He stuck a finger up my ass.  I moaned as he went in and out.  He
stuck another finger up my ass and started scissoring.  "Hmm," I thought.
"The little bitch remembered."

He stuck a third then a fourth finger up my ass.

"Wow," I groaned.

"You like that, my little virgin?"

"Oh yes, Sir.  Anything to give you pleasure, Sir."

"That's what I like.  An eager bitch."

I thought to myself, "The little slut is really getting into this.  Well,
two can play at this game."

"You like the look of my little rose bud, Sir?  I've saved it my whole life
just so you could have it, Sir.  No one else has ever touched it, Sir."

"Oh, fuck!" he moaned.

"I heard you have a big fat 8" cock for me, Sir.  You think you'd like to
pop my cherry now, Sir?  I've been waiting almost 23 years for a cock up my
ass, Sir.  I really don't want to wait any longer, Sir.  If you look as my
asshole, Sir, it's really eager, Sir."  He looked at my asshole while I
flexed it in and out.  I'm sure it must have been quite a sight.  It must
have looked exactly like a real rose.

He swooned.  "Get over here and lube me up, boy.  Lube me up really good.
If you don't, your asshole will hurt.  So it's up to you."

"Yes, Sir."

I lubed him up and, like he'd done to me earlier, lubed up his balls and
stuck a finger up his ass a little.  He grinned at me and I grinned back.

"On all fours now, bitch.  It's time to turn you into a REAL man."

"Yes, Sir.  Till now I've just been a fucker, Sir, not a man, Sir.  Please
make me a man, Sir."

Jay put the head of his cock against my asshole.  The lube was a little
cold.

"Please stick in the head, Sir.  It's OK, Sir."

Jay shoved in the head.  It hurt like hell.  I have no idea how all the
virgins I'd fucked before had stood it--especially since my cock's head was
about ½ larger.

"How's that, bitch?" Jay asked.

"It hurts, Sir," I said.

"Of course it hurts, bitch," he said.  Then the tone of his voice became
much softer.  "And you can cut out the `Sir.'  I'm going to make love to you
now, Lance, not fuck you.  I don't want to remember it any other way, not
the first time anyway."

"OK, Baby.  Now push in a few more inches.  I think I'm ready."

He pushed in a few more inches.  It hurt more, but I thought I'd be able to
take it.

"Oh, fuck, Lance.  I can see why you love this so much.  You're so fucking
tight.  My God!"

"I love you, Jay.  I'm glad you're enjoying it.  It's yours anytime you want
it."

"You mean it?"

"Yes Baby, I do."

"Here's the rest, Babe."  And with that, he buried the rest of his 8" up my
ass slapping his balls into mine and his bush into my pink asshole.

"Oh, fuck!" I screamed.

"Sorry," he giggled.

"It sure as hell doesn't sound like you are," I shouted.

"Well, to tell you the truth, Babe, I'm really not too sorry at the moment.
You got to admit, when a hole's this tight, it gives you such a feeling of
power and horniness that it's hard to think of anything else."

"Yeah," I said, "I've been there, Baby, just about every time I'm up
someone's ass, in fact."  I chuckled, as best I could, that is, with a fat
8" cock up my almost virgin ass.

"Time to start the fuck, dear," he said.

"Guess so," I said.  "Please be gentle," I asked, plaintively.

"I will, at least at first," he chuckled.

Jay started fucking me with his ample cock.  In and out, in and out.  Soon I
started to get used to it, and it was feeling pretty good.

"How you doing, Babe?" he asked me.

"Not too bad.  How about you?"

"Christ.  I'm in heaven.  You've got one tight hole, Babe.  Always knew you
would, though.  You shouldn't have kept this from the world all these
years."

"Keeping it for just the right man, Baby."

"Oh, God, Lance.  You turn me on so much when you say things like that to
me.  Let's turn you over.  I want to look you in the eyes."

He took his cock out of my ass, and I turned over.  I placed my ankles up on
his shoulders, and he reinserted his cock and started plowing me again.

"God, this is even better!" he said.

"Fuck!" I said.  "You're going even deeper.  You're pounding on my
prostate."

"You like it?"

"I'm getting used to it.  Give me a few minutes."

"Take all the time you need, Babe.  I'm certainly going to."

"You're a bitch, you know that?" I said.

"You're not in charge right now.  Don't forget that," he said.

"Yes, Sir," I said.  He smiled.

I moved my legs down behind his ass and started pulling him to me every time
he thrusted into me.

"Oh, fuck!" he said.  "That's so fucking good."

I looked up and suddenly got very, very turned on.  I saw a cute buff blond
boy with a leather studded leather collar, studded arm bands, and studded
cuffs, sweating as he fucked his first male ass with a big grin on his face.
  A blond boy who loved me as deeply as I did him.

He was concentrating intently as he fucked me, watching his cock go in at
out of my ass, obviously in ecstasy at what he saw.  I put my hands up and
stroked his hair.  As he continued to fuck me, he looked at me surprised and
grinned.  He came down and kissed me passionately.

He stopped thrusting and whispered in my ear, "Thanks for letting me do
this, Lance.  I love you, more than you can imagine.  I just hope I'm doing
this right and that I'm not hurting you."

I pushed him up by his shoulders so I could look directly in his eyes.
"You're perfect.  Now get back to it, my little fucker.  And if you're going
to do something, do it right.  Fuck me hard and deep.  Don't worry about me.
  I may act like I'm uncomfortable, but not only will you experience a
better orgasm, I will too."

He smiled and resumed fucking me.  This time the little fucker drove into me
like a jack hammer.  I groaned, but he never stopped.  It just turned him
all the more.  I groaned loader, he fucked harder.  He grinned, I groaned.

Finally, I told him I was going to come and to fuck me harder than ever.  He
did.  I shot more cum than I had ever shot before, past my head and all over
my face.

"Keep fucking me, you bitch!" I screamed.  "This is the best orgasm I've
ever had in my life!!  FUCK ME!!!"

He got turned on big time.  I finally stopped, and looked at him in the eye.

"I may be done, but you're not.  Use me.  I've had my turn, and you deserve
yours.  You're allowed to do anything to me you need to do to make your
experience as good as you can.  I owe it to you.  Anyone you fuck whom
you've made cum owes that to you.  Don't you ever forget that."

He swooned.

"Stick your legs back up in the air!" he commanded me.

He grabbed my legs each by the ankle and spread them apart as far as they
could go.  I grimaced.  I looked him in the face.  He smiled.  He didn't
care if I felt discomfort.  That was giving him the maximum leverage he
needed to get the most pleasure out of his thrusts.

"Good boy!" I said.  "Fuck me."

A few seconds later it was nearly over.

"Oh God, Lance.  I'm so close."

"OK, Dude, listen to me carefully.  Don't withdraw.  When you start to cum,
keep thrusting gently but evenly and don't tense up, especially not at
first.  The initial cum will warm up and provide additional lube for the
first few inches of you cock.  Then the next ejaculations will be incredibly
powerful and satisfying.  Do it right, Baby, and it'll be the greatest
feeling of your life."

"I'll try, Lance, I'll try."

"You can do it, Baby, I know you can.  And by the way, Jay, I love you."

That was it.  Jay started to cum.

"Oh my God!  Oh . . . oh . . . oh . . . oh . . . eh . . . eh . . . eh . . .
eh . . . oo . . . oo . . . oo . . . oo . . . fuck . . . fuck . . . fuck . .
.. fuck . . . shit . . . shit . . . shit . . . shit . . . ahhhh."

Then he collapsed on top of me.  I held him tightly in my arms for a few
minutes.  His hair smelled wonderful.  I realized that whatever I had to
give to my love that would give him such pleasure I would never deny him.

Finally I bent my head down to his ear and whispered, "So, was it good for
you?"  He laughed hysterically.

"You seemed to have no problem with it yourself," he said.

"No, I have to admit, I did sort of enjoy it--especially at the end, that
is."

We both smiled at each other broadly and discussed all that had happened
that evening.  After awhile, we both went to the kitchen, and I helped Jay
clean up the dishes.  He told me I didn't have to help him, but I insisted.
Besides, I told him, I wanted to look at his cute ass as much as
possible--especially in those chaps.  I smacked it every chance I got.

"Hey," he said.  "That's not fair.  You're wearing boxers."

"I'm not the one who decided to wear leathers with my bare ass sticking out
for everyone to see," I responded.

"You've got a point there, I guess," he said, giggling.

Jay took off his leathers after dinner and put on the black g-string he wore
during our first night together.  We slept together in each others' arms.
It was undoubtedly the most beautiful sexual experience we had throughout
our entire relationship.  I'll never forget that night for as long as I
live.

The rest of our first year together was wonderful.  We played together like
two children as we got to know each other in and out of bed.  One day I
bought my own set of leathers and surprised Jay when he got home from
school.  He got turned on so much when he saw me in them that he nearly
ripped his clothes trying to get them off.  I was laughing at him, and that
made him a little angry.  For a few seconds he couldn't decide whether he
wanted to be a top or a bottom.  I'm going to let that be our secret what he
decided.  I'll just tell you that he was fantastic!

I also taught him about many other things before the end of that first year:
cock rings, butt plugs, anal beads, dildos, and eventually how to use tit
clamps the right way.  Every time I showed him something new, he was like a
little boy in a candy shop.  He was so cute.

At the end of the school year, we both managed to find law intern jobs in
our town so we could spend the summer in our apartment.  That was great.  We
could spend a lot more time together.  We even had the opportunity to spend
a few weekends together in other places.  Once we even were able to fly to
Las Vegas for a long weekend.  That was a lot of fun.

At the end of the summer we both went home for a couple of weeks when our
jobs ended before school started again.  Jay had decided to tell his parents
about me.  I told him he shouldn't do it because he expected they would
probably not take it very well.  We were both right.  When we returned to
the apartment after our vacations and saw each other for the first time, he
fell into my arms in tears.

"They disowned me and cut me off," he said.

"The bastards," I said.  I wanted to say, "I told you so," but I didn't.

"They even refused to pay for my last year here," he said.

"Don't worry," I said.  "Take out loans, and I'll help you pay them off."

"No, I can't make you do that.  I'll take out the loans, but I'll pay them
off myself.  If I'd listened to you, I wouldn't have been in this mess."

"Really, Jay.  I'll pay for half.  I can afford it."

"No.  Absolutely not."

"OK, Baby.  Come here."

I held him as tight as I could till he was all cried out.  Then I kissed him
as long as he would let me, and I wiped the tears from his eyes while I
smiled at him.

"I love you, Jay."

"I love you too, Lance."

We started class a few days later.  It was my second year and Jay's final
year in law school.  In a few days it was going to be Jay's 25th birthday.

"Hey, Babe.  I've got something very special planned for your birthday," I
told him the day before his birthday.  "I hope you like it.  You trust me,
don't you?"

"That sounds kind of suspicious, Dude.  Of course I trust you, but I never
thought I'd need to trust someone about a birthday present."

"Just go with the flow, OK?"

"OK, I guess," he said, with a confused grin.

The next day, after we had a nice dinner which I had prepared for him, there
was a knock at the door.  I opened it, and there stood a tall well-built
policeman.

"Is there a Jay Williams here?" he asked.

"Yes, officer," I said.  "Would you like to come in?"

I looked over at Jay, who had heard everything that had gone on, and said,
"Jay, this officer wants to see you."

Jay stood up, walked over to us and said, "Yes, officer.  What's the
problem?"

"Are you Jay Williams?" he asked.

"Yes I am," Jay said.

"I'm afraid you're under arrest.  Please turn around."  The officer placed
handcuffs on his hands.  "Please sit down over there."  He sat Jay down on a
chair.

"What's going on, officer?  What did I do?" Jay asked, totally scared.

"Some of your neighbors have noticed through your bedroom window that you
have been committing crimes against nature, which, in this state, is still
illegal," the policeman said.

Jay opened his mouth to speak, but before he could, the policeman continued.

"And your boyfriend and I are determined to see that you commit them again
tonight!"

At that point I pushed a button on the CD player and seductive music started
playing.  The policeman threw his hat across the room and started a slow
sensuous strip tease.  In just a few seconds, Jay figured out what was
really going on.

"You BITCH!" he screamed at me, as he blushed beet red and got a big smile
on his face.  "You fucking bitch!"

"Gotcha," I said, laughing my ass off.

Rex, the stripper, was beautiful.  A blond long-haired, blue-eyed, 6'3"
chiseled, ripped body builder.  He stripped completely.  He had a
respectable 7", but at least it was uncut and his balls were rather big.

Rex gave Jay three or four lap dances and lots of kisses on the lips,
nipples, and ears, after he had sexily removed Jay's shirt.  Jay finally got
into it and started kissing back.  He also kept asking Rex to give me lap
dances, but I always declined, saying that he was all for Jay.  The dancing
lasted nearly 10 minutes.

When it was all done, I told Rex to take off the handcuffs.  Rex did so and
lifted Jay into his arms, and Jay instinctively put his arms around Rex's
huge neck with a big smile on his face, noting Rex's erection.

"Rex is yours for the night, Babe," I told Jay.  "Take him to your bedroom
and enjoy yourself.  You can to anything with him or to him that you want.
Have fun.  I love you very much."

"What the fuck are you talking about?" Jay screamed out.  "Rex, put me the
fuck down!"

Rex and I were totally startled.  Rex put him down.

"Back in my bedroom NOW, Lance!" Jay ordered me.

When we got back in his bedroom, Jay said, "How could you do this to me?"

"What are you talking about?" I said.

"A stripper and a lap dance is one thing.  A hooker is something else."

"I was just trying to give you a gay experience with a second guy, Babe.  I
thought you'd like it.  I was trying to do something nice."

"Or were you maybe hoping I'd invite you into bed with the two of us.  Don't
think I didn't notice that he's blond like me, like your first boyfriend,
like you prefer."

Fuck.  He was right.  It hadn't even occurred to me.  I hadn't done it for
that reason, but why the hell had I been stupid enough to pick a blond.  I
suppose it was my natural attraction to them.

"No, Babe, I promise.  It wasn't for me, really.  I mean, I can't say that
the thought hadn't crossed my mind that you might ask me to join in later,
but that was your decision, and I wasn't going to ask."

"So, you bitch, you WANTED me to ask you to join us.  This was really all
about YOU after all, and not about me!"

Now I knew that I had really fucked it all up.

"Don't you see, you stupid ass?" he said, "I want you and only you, Lance.
I don't want anyone else, not even with you at the same time.  And I thought
that's what you wanted too.  Now you've fucked that all up--and on my 25th
birthday, when you're the only family I have now.  Thanks a fucking lot you
miserable piece of shit!" he said, sobbing, as he ran out of the apartment
and sped out of the parking lot in his car.

I'd never felt so low in my whole life.  I went out to Rex.

"I assume you heard some or most of that?" I said to him.

"Yeah.  Seems like you fucked up pretty bad, Dude."

"Yeah.  I really feel like shit."

"You should, Dude.  That's an incredible man you've got there.  Someone who
is so loyal to his boyfriend that he won't fuck another man that his
boyfriend has picked out and paid for him to fuck is rare and special.  If I
could find someone like that, I would quit my job as a stripper and work any
other job, no matter how shitty, just to be able to go home to him every
night."

"You're right.  I've got to go find him.  I just hope I can."

"Go, man.  Don't waste any more time here."

"Thanks, man.  Here's your money."

"Thanks, dude.  I wish I didn't have to take it since I didn't stay.  I know
you guys are students.  Tell you what, if you change your mind and need me
sometime, let me know, and I'll reschedule you some night without any
additional charge."

"OK, thanks, Rex.  That's really nice."

"And one last thing: if you ever break up with Jay, have him call me."  I
could tell he wasn't kidding when he said it.

I smiled as I shut the door behind us, having grabbed my car keys and coat.
I sped off in front of him as the two of us drove out of the parking lot.

There were three gay bars in town.  I knew Jay had to be at one of them
since that's were we always went to drink.  Naturally, he wasn't at the
first two I went to.  As I reached the third one, I saw his car in the
parking lot.  I rushed in.

"OK, Stan, where is he?"

"Over there, Lance.  Passed out in the booth in the corner."

"How long has he been here?"

"About an hour.  I had him give me his keys right before he passed out.  He
tried to leave once, but I wouldn't let him.  I tried to call you at home,
but you weren't there."

"Thanks, Stan.  I owe you big time.  How much do I owe you for this?"

"Don't worry.  He's paid up.  Did you guys have a fight?"

"Yeah, a big one.  I really fucked up.  Bad."

"Sorry to hear that, Lance.  He's a great guy."

"You're the second one tonight to tell me that.  Makes me feel like a real
fucking heel, or that I'm such scum I don't deserve him."

"No, I'm sorry, Lance.  I didn't mean that."

"It's OK, Stan.  I'm starting to feel that way myself.  Give me the keys to
his car, please.  And, could you help me get him out to my car?"

"Sure, Lance.  And again, I'm sorry."

"No problem, Stan.  Really."

Stan gave me Jay's keys while I picked up my beautiful small gymnast in my
arms and carried him out of the bar.  Stan opened the back door of my car.
I laid Jay into the back seat as carefully as I could.

"Is that you, Lance?" he mumbled.

"Yes, Jay.  It's me."

"I'm sorry, Lance," he said.  And he started to cry.

"It's OK, Baby.  Don't cry.  I'm sorry, too.  I'll take you home.  Just go
back to sleep."

I thanked Stan and drove home.  I got Jay into the apartment and laid him
down into his bed.  Then I got him undressed and undressed myself and went
to sleep with him in my arms.  I knew he was going to have a rough night and
a bad day ahead of him.

The following night, after the hangover had worn off, and I thought Jay was
up to discussing what had happened, I broached the subject.

"Jay, Baby, I'm so, so sorry.  I love you so, so much.  What I did was
incredibly stupid.  I know I hurt you, but it was the last thing I meant to
do.  And I know it appeared selfish, but I didn't mean it that way at all.
Please, please forgive me.  If you can't, and I'm not sure I would if I were
in your place, I'll understand.  I'll move out if you want me to."

Jay looked up at me with tears in his eyes, "What am I going to do with you?
  I was just about to tell you the same thing.  I can't believe you are so
patient with me.  I am so naïve about being gay, and yet whenever I do
something stupid, like what I did with the tit clamps or overreact about the
stripper, you forgive me.  I thought you were finally going to be fed up
with the naïve gay boy who just didn't get it."

"Come here," I said, with a big smile.

I took him in my arms and we kissed.  It was a mature kiss, not a sexy or
playful kiss, a kind of kissing we had never done before.  We had obviously
reached a new level in our relationship.  We had a new understanding of each
other, a new respect for each other.  It was a warm feeling, a feeling
better than an orgasm, one that only a mature person in love can appreciate.

The rest of that year our love continued and matured.  It was the little
things we did for each other that mattered.  For example, I started working
out more at the gym.  Jay noticed I was getting more buff and asked me why I
was spending more time at the gym.  I smiled and told him honestly it was to
look as good for him as I could.  He smiled, blushed, and said I shouldn't
do that.  I should use the time to study.

I told him it was important to him how good I looked for him.  He kissed me
and said he loved me the way I was, but he said he'd join me at the gym.  I
told him that it was absolutely ridiculous because he still had the gymnast
body he had when he was in college.  He said if I was going to do it for
him, he would do it for me.  I smiled and told him it would be great to go
to the gym together because it would just give me more time to see him naked
in the shower.

Another example was one day when I held his hand as we entered and walked
through the law school.  I made it clear to everyone that he was my
boyfriend, we had a real relationship, I was proud of him, and I didn't care
who knew about it.  It meant a lot to him, especially since his family had
disowned him, and he felt I was the only one he had left in his life.

The Christmas break came.  I took Jay home with me.  Fortunately, my parents
had been comfortable about my sexuality since I was in high school.  They
welcomed him like he was family.  But it was hard on Jay, being away from
his family at a major holiday for the first time.  I tried to get him to
call his parents on Christmas, but he refused.  I felt bad for him.

Although our relationship the next and final semester of Jay's career at law
school was great, the insecurity concerning what was going to happen to us
at then end of the semester loomed.  We tried to remain optimistic as Jay
interviewed not only with law firms in other cities but with all the law
firms in our town for associate positions.

So far, he had received offers from two law firms in cities 500 and 700
miles away, respectively.  But the rejections started coming in from the
firms in our town.  It seemed my second serious relationship was about to
end exactly like my first had ended exactly six years before.  When the
final one arrived, we were both crushed.   My worst fears had come true.  I
started bawling uncontrollably.

"I knew this was going to happen.  I just knew it," I said.

Jay didn't say anything for a long time.  Finally he spoke.

"Lance," was all he got out before he broke down.

We held each other and bawled for a long, long time.  Finally, I looked up
at him and started laughing.

"Look at us," I said.  "We've had the greatest love affair either of us will
probably ever experience, and we're ungrateful.  Few in the world will ever
be as fortunate as we are."

"I know," he said.  "But God damn it, I don't want it to end!"

"I don't either, Babe," I said.  "But you were the one who told me a year
and a half ago to take a chance because even though this very thing might
happen, if I didn't take the chance, I might miss out on something great.
Well, you were right.  We've got to accept the pain, but it won't be
anything like the great memory of what we had."

He just smiled at me and kissed me.  "Yeah, you're right."

Graduation day came in a few weeks.  Jay was not going to invite his family.
  He told me again that I was his family, and I was the only one he wanted
to come.  But I couldn't stand seeing someone in his family not come if they
wanted to be there.

So, even though I knew I probably shouldn't do it, I went to see his mother.
  I introduced myself and told her when the graduation was.  I was honest
and told her how Jay felt, but I told her if she or anyone wanted to come, I
thought they should, and I'd take the responsibility.  But I added that they
should be prepared to be snubbed by Jay after the ceremony, if I couldn't
handle him.  Jay's mother said she'd try to be there, but she'd probably be
the only one.

The day of the ceremony, I met his mother and took her to her seat next to
me.  Jay sat with the other graduates.  When he walked across the stage to
pick up his diploma, he looked out toward me to smile.  He spied his mother,
and his smile turned to a shock and then to a frown.  When he went off the
stage, instead of going back to his seat with the rest of the graduates, he
walked toward the exit.  I ran to the back to catch him.

"What the fuck is she doing here?" he asked me.

"I called her and told her to come with anyone else in your family who
wanted to."

"How could you, after what they did to me?"

"Jay, they're you family, for God sake."

"They deserted me.  You're my family now.  I told you that."

"Jay, let's get real.  Yes, they deserted you a year ago.  But now your
mother is trying to find her way back to you.  That should mean something to
you.  She's your fucking mother!  And as for me, I love you, you know that.
And, fine, I'm your family.  But in a few weeks you're flying 500 miles away
to take a job that you're going to be working at 6 ½ days a week.  Just when
do you think we're ever going to see each other again?  But you'll be seeing
your mother for the rest of your life.  That's just the way it fucking is!"

Jay started sobbing in my arms.  Suddenly, someone tapped lightly on my
right shoulder.

"Is everything OK," Jay's mother asked.

"Oh, Mom," Jay said, as he continued to sob and moved from my shoulders to
his mother's.  I got tears in my eyes watching the two of them.  I started
to walk away to let them have a moment to themselves.

"Don't you walk away, young man," his mother said.  "You come over here."
She put her arms around both of us, and the three of us had a good cry.

She took us out to dinner.  She thanked me for getting them back together.
Jay thanked me too, at the same time jokingly telling me that I should have
stayed out of his business.

She also said she thought it was sad that Jay was moving so far away and
that it meant we wouldn't be seeing each other anymore.  Jay and I kept
quiet when she said that.  She caught on what the silence meant.

"No," she said.  "I'm being honest.  Throughout Jay's second year in law
school, I kept telling his father that he seemed happier than he had ever
been before.  I suspected something was going on, but I had no idea what it
could be.  For awhile I thought it might be that he was getting very excited
with something he was studying, but I didn't really think it was that
because he had never been very excited about school in the past.  Then I
thought it might be a girl, but usually he tells us about girls pretty
quickly.  So I didn't know what it was until last summer when he finally
told us.  But no matter how else we felt, we couldn't deny the fact that he
was so happy these past two years and that you, Lance, are the reason for
that."

"And just how DO you feel about my being gay, Mom?" Jay asked.

"Let's not get into that now, Jay, not now," I said.  "It's not important."

"It IS important," he said.

"OK," his mother said.  "I love you, and whatever you do, I'll always love
you, whether we can see each other or not.  I want you to be happy, Jay, and
I'll welcome anyone who makes you happy, just like I do Lance.  As for
judging you, I'm not going to do that, at least I'll do the best I can to
keep from doing that, because I believe judging is to be left to a higher
power.  However, if you want me to be totally honest, yes, I would prefer it
if you could be happy with a woman rather than a man.  That's the way I was
raised.  I can't help the way I was raised, Jay.  I believe if you think
about everything I've just said, you'll have to agree that I'm going a long
way to be fair about everything and to accept things the way they are--a lot
fairer than I was brought up to be.  It's about as far as I can go, Jay.  I
just hope for our sake that it's far enough."

After a few seconds of silence, I jumped in.

"Counselor," I said, somewhat jocularly, "I think that's a great settlement
plan.  I don't think you'll be able to negotiate a better one."

"You can be such a bitch . . . uh, sorry, Mom," Jay said, and all three of
us laughed.

"That sounds great, Mom.  Now how's everyone else?"

"In general, everyone's fine.  As for this situation, your Dad's still
pretty upset, Jay.  I don't know about everyone else.  They'll probably come
around as they're all younger, but I'm not sure about your Dad.  He's pretty
set in his ways.  By the way, how did you get through your third year?"

"Don't worry, Mom.  It's all taken care of."

"I can pay you back a little at a time," she said.

"No, absolutely not.  Dad would find out and you'd get into trouble.  No
way.  I got it covered."

The dinner ended a few minutes later.  Jay took his Mom to her hotel while I
drove back to the apartment.  He arrived back home about an hour later.

"You're going to get soooooooooo lucky tonight, Babe," he said.

"I'm sorry, Jay.  Not tonight.  I just can't."

"I know, Lance.  It's getting really tough now."

"Yeah."  We stripped and lay in each others' arms all night, never going to
sleep.

Jay met his mother at her hotel the next morning and drove her to the
airport.  Then he drove back to the apartment.

"Mom wanted me to tell you again how much she appreciated everything," he
said when he got back to the apartment.

"No problem, Dude," I said, with as big a smile on my face as I could
manage.

"Still morose, Babe?"

"Yeah.  You're leaving this fucking place in a few days, but I have to stay
here for another fucking year and see your face every place I go.  Not just
here in the apartment, but in every classroom, the halls, the commons area,
the library.  I don't think I can stand it, Jay."  I broke down and bawled
in his arms.

"Shhhhhhhhhh.  What am I going to do with you?  Hey, if you want, I'll just
find some job here for a year till you get through school."

"No, absolutely not.  That wouldn't be fair to you, Babe.  That would be
totally selfish.  I'd never forgive myself.  And I couldn't enjoy you here
like that anyway, coming home to me every night after working a job way
beneath you.  No way."

"OK, OK.  Then let's just try to enjoy the last couple of days we have the
best we can.  How about we get out of town?"

"That's not a bad idea.  But no.  I want to stay here, where it all started.
  Give me a couple of hours to compose myself, and I'll be ready to party
till you have to go."

"Great, Babe.  I'll go do a little shopping and be back soon."

Jay left to get a little food and drinks.  When he got back, I had psyched
myself up to spend a few days with my lover acting as if we had just met,
not as if we were about to part.  I put my leathers on, lit some candles,
and waited for my man.

"That's what I wanted to see," he said when he saw me lying in his bed.

"Right, Babe.  All yours, and no more tears."

The last couple of days together were just like the first few: part tender,
part raw and animal.  It was glorious.  It was fantastic.  One minute we
were hungry for each other.  The next minute we were spent.  Our last dinner
and night together was intensely romantic.  The details are too intimate to
make public.  Some things in life are just too personal to disclose.

As we were going to bed that last night, and we were holding each other, I
said, "Jay, I want to ask you something."

"What, Babe?" he replied.

"Please don't hate me, but I don't want you to call me or write me any
letters after you leave tomorrow.  I don't think I could stand it.  I did
that with my first boyfriend in high school, and I think it just made it
worse."

Jay remained silent.  Then I thought I heard him crying a little.

"I knew that might upset you, Baby.  Please don't think it means I love you
less than you thought I did.  On the contrary, it means the exact opposite.
I can't stand to draw it out.  It's just too painful."  Then I was the one
who started to cry.

"Shhhhh.  OK, OK, Lance.  I understand.  It's fine.  Shhhhh."

The next day I helped Jay pack and load his car.  He had already rented an
apartment in the city he was moving to.  He was taking only everything he
could fit into his car and leaving everything else for me, which wasn't
much.  He didn't know it, but I had packed a surprise for him: a little box
containing my red boxer shorts and my tit clamps with a note saying: "Just
so you know I won't be using these with anyone else.  Love Always, Lance".

He left about 10 a.m.  We hugged each other tight and gave each other a long
passionate kiss.

"I love you, Lance Dawson," he said, as he broke away resentfully and walked
toward the door.

"I love you, too, Jay Williams," I replied, choking back my tears.  "And I
always will," I muttered to myself under my breath.

He walked down the steps, got into the car, and drove to the end of the
parking lot.  As he exited the parking lot, he turned and looked at me.  He
waved.  I waved back, and I thought to myself, "I just hope the
son-of-a-bitch you find next deserves you.  I know I didn't."

I turned around and saw a box he forgot to take.

"Oh shit!" I thought.  "He forgot this box.  Now I'll have to send it to
him, and I don't even know how to get in touch with him."  Then I remembered
the name of the law firm where he was going to work, so I'd be able to get
his address from them.

I opened it to see what was inside.  There were all his leathers with a note
on top that read:

"Just so you know I won't be using these with anyone else.

Love Always, Jay".

That did it.  I broke down and bawled for what seemed like hours.

Comments are always welcome
Lance: lance.dawson@hotmail.com