Date: Thu, 4 Aug 2005 12:42:37 +0200
From: Harry Anders <harry@harryanders.com>
Subject: 'Little Harry' 5. Don't judge me by how I look, but look for who I am.

'Little Harry'
Chapter 5. Don't judge me by how I look, but look for who I am.

I parked the car in front of the toy shop. Suddenly little Harry
straightened his back and announced:

"I'm going with you! Jack always told me to be proud of myself and of who I
am, so here am I!"

He jumped out of the car and headed for the toy shop, followed by a
confused and also very proud John and me.

"Ting," the bell announced as we entered the empty shop.

From the back of the store an elderly woman joggled towards the front. At
first she looked at us as if we were some species from another planet. She
shifted her glasses to the tip of her nose and looked again...

"Oh my dear! You poor little child!" she suddenly exclaimed.

She threw herself at little Harry, attempting to embrace him. Little Harry
swiftly stepped aside, and she nearly fell over, tripping over her own
feet. He looked at her with disgust.

"I am NOT poor! Are you doing this with all customers? Shame on you! Come
on dad, this isn't the right place for us!"

He took my hand and pulled me out of the shop, followed by a red-faced and
snickering John.

"Did you see that dad? That crazy woman nearly attacked me!"

We went back to the car and drove off, leaving a confused woman behind,
angrily looking at us from behind the shop windows.

"Perhaps I know a place where they actually might help you..." John offered
with a frown on his face.

"But I am not sure where it is. Somewhere in this neighborhood ought to be
a special shop where they assist actors and so."

Suddenly little Harry got a confused look on his face. He seemed to listen
to something or to feel something.

"I don't know why dad, but we have to turn around right here and enter the
first street on the left..."

I did as he told me, and much to our surprise we immediately saw the shop!
'Griming and Clothing for Actors' was the name spelled on the window in
ancient characters. I parked the car and we entered the shop, little Harry
this time with some hesitancy.

"Good morning gentlemen!" a pleasant voice greeted us.

A young man with a friendly face pointed to a couple of chairs.

"Nice of you to visit my shop. Please have a seat!"

He smiled at little Harry with interest and warmth in his face.

"You are a little young to already be an actor I suppose?"

"Of course silly! At least I don't need a mask, I already have one of my
own."

"I see, and may I tell you something that's important? It's not how you
look, but who you are that counts."

"I know," Harry simply answered.

He looked around and contently sighed with a broad smile on his face.

"It feels nice here!"

"Thank you!" the owner answered, and suddenly his eyes filled with tears.

"May I offer you one or two suggestions? And my name is Peter."

For the next hour little Harry and Peter looked at photographs, deliberated
possibilities, asked questions, tried a couple of things, and every time
they consulted me and John for approval or advice. Little Harry told Peter
everything about the fire and his operations, and he let Peter touch his
face and look at his scars, even on his breast and legs. After a while
Peter started to model some clay and carefully put small pieces on Harry's
face, while Harry looked at himself in a mirror and now and then directed
him.

After a while Harry proudly turned around and we were astonished! He looked
like any other normal eight-year-old boy with a cheerful pug nose, slightly
stuffed cheeks and full lips with at least a normal color.

"Be careful!" Peter warned him with a smile on his face.

"It will come off easily for it's only plaster. But it's a good indication
of how your real mask will look when we are ready. Your nose will be
slightly bigger and your lips will look even more natural when you put the
mask on your face."

Little Harry beamed. Spontaneously he threw his arms around Peter and
kissed him.

"You are welcome too!" Peter reacted with a blush and again he got tears in
his eyes.

"Uh oh!" Harry suddenly uttered, and he fished a peace of his newly modeled
nose from the ground.

"No problem," Peter reassured him,

"now we will take everything off your face, and I'll make a mold for your
mask."

He carefully cleaned little Harry's face of all plaster and gently applied
some oil. He went to the kitchen in the back of the store, and returned
with a container of a greenish paste and a spatula.

"Can you sit very quietly for a short time and breathe through your nose?"

Harry nodded and Peter carefully applied the greenish paste all over his
face. Harry flinched slightly when Peter put two straws into his nostrils
before covering his mouth and nose. A few minutes later Peter gently peeled
the hardened paste off Harry's face with the straws still sticking out.

"That's all. You can wash your face over there," he said, pointing to the
kitchen.

He patiently waited until Harry returned, and then showed him the molded
negative impression of Harry's face.

"From this mold I will make an exact copy of your face to model a
mask. After two days the mask will be ready, and you will look like a
newborn boy!"

He turned around with tears in his eyes and looked at me, wiping the tears
away.

"You have a wonderful son!"

We made a new appointment to fit the mask for little Harry. Again little
Harry threw his arms around Peter and kissed him.

"Thank you for helping me with my face! I knew you were the right person!"

Peter beamed and this time he kissed little Harry back. We shook hands and
went to the car. Little Harry and John both occupied the backseat, and I
searched the radio for some nice music. Both boys seemed rather impressed,
and they were very quiet on the way back to the village. I parked the car
on the parking lot in front of the supermarket. Little Harry jumped out of
the car with a proud smile on his face.

"I want to join you!"

He went straight to the sliding doors and entered the store, followed by
John and me, looking at each other with amazement and pride.

"Do you have a coin? I want to drive the shopping cart."

He went to the pile of carts, stared at by at least three other
customers. He smiled at them and told them with pride in his voice:

"Don't judge me by how I look, but look for who I am!"

Two customers shuffled away, a tall man with a beard and a moustache warmly
smiled back.

"That's my boy! You certainly will achieve wonderful things in your
life. Be always proud of yourself!"

"I will!"

Harry smiled at him, took a cart and headed for the first pile of
groceries. We filled the cart with all the foodstuff we thought we needed
to survive the next week, and headed for the cash register. Two customers
were ahead of us so we had to wait. Suddenly two girls started to giggle
and point at little Harry.

"Look at that! What kind of creature is this? What a freak... Hey alien,
you are on the wrong planet!"

John growled and balled his fists. Before he could attack the girls the
tall man with the beard and moustache intervened and dragged both girls by
their ear lappets to the exit where he pushed them through the sliding
doors.

"Piss off, and don't let me see you again! Perhaps you may come back when
you get a better understanding of the words 'compassion' and 'esteem'. This
boy has more humanity in his soul than both of you together."

Both girls ran away, red-faced and tripping over their own feet. The
bearded man returned to the cash register and introduced himself to us.

"Hello, my name is Christian. I am very impressed by how your son is coping
with his inconvenience. He has a wonderful aura and a very strong
spirit. In this life he is predestined to assist others in coping with
their problems. I also will compliment your other son who proudly stood up
for his brother. He has a big heart filled with a lot of love. And you sir,
you may be proud of yourself too, for you are really caring for your
boys. In this life you are turning into a beautiful soul with a lot of love
and compassion!"

He looked at the boys and ruffled their hair. Harry got a big smile on his
face and John seemed rather impressed. Again Christian looked at me.

"I hope I am not imposing too much, but I have a message for you. I'm
working as a psychic medium, and the spirit realm wishes to contact both
you and your youngest son. It seems to be important, so please don't
hesitate too long..."

To say I was thunderstruck wasn't strong enough to express my feelings. He
is a psychic? The spirit realm wishes to contact me? How... when... what
spirit realm? I looked at little Harry who seemed to like the man, and at
John who seemed to trust him. John's mother told me John was a very good
judge of character... could I really trust this stranger, Christian?

Suddenly I thought of Jack, and I even imagined I could feel his
presence. Perhaps Jack had a message for me and for little Harry? I thought
I heard his voice somewhere in my head confirming my idea with a distinct
"Yes"... Shall I? Okay, let's go for it.

"Thank you!" Christian said as if I had told him my decision aloud.

"Shall we meet this evening around eight o'clock? To prove this is genuine
your spirit friend now informs me that your youngest boy isn't your real
son in this life, and the other boy is a friend."

How the hell did he know that??? I was totally astounded and hesitantly
handed him my home address and phone number.

Back in the car, I was silent and deep in thought. What a strange
experience! A total stranger approached us, clearly knew the decision I was
making in my head, and told me things he could not possibly know... was
this for real? The more I thought about it, the more I looked forward to
that evening at eight o'clock. What did Jack want to tell us? And would
John be allowed to be there too? Would I see ghosts that evening, or would
Christian go into a trance and speak with another voice like in those
movies? I hoped it would not be too creepy...

Both boys helped me unpack the groceries and put them away in the kitchen.

"I want to cook this evening!" little Harry announced.

"You want to help me and eat with us John?"

"I don't know..." John hesitantly answered.

"My mother will be back from town about four o'clock and she hasn't seen me
since this morning, so I am afraid I will not be allowed this
evening... but I certainly will see you back tomorrow morning, unless my
father has another of his bright ideas and makes me do some chores first."

At that moment the doorbell rang. Thomas and Chrissy impatiently wanted to
show off their brand new skateboards.

"Are you coming with us? We're going to try out our new boards!"

"All right! I will get my own board and Harry can use Mark's old board if
he wants."

"Yes, of course I want! Coming with you! Bye dad!"

Harry quickly kissed me and went to the door. Suddenly he stopped and
turned around with a confused look on his face.

"Sorry..." he uttered with a blush on his face,

"I shouldn't have said that... but I wish you WERE my dad!"

Off they went, joyfully pushing each other and leaving me alone in the
kitchen.

For the first time in three days I was glad I was alone. So much happened,
and I wanted to think it all over. My head was filled to the brim with
thoughts, and I had to drain them first before I could be at peace
again. Three days ago I was retired, single and on my own, with enough
money to live in this house in peace for the rest of my life. All of a
sudden a small boy bounced into my existence and immediately stole my heart
and my soul. Today he even started to call me dad... Why was I so devoted
to this young boy? Why was all this happening?

I went to the fridge and took a beer with me to the porch. In the distance
I heard the voices of the children. I recognized the slightly deeper voice
of John who was on the border of puberty, the somewhat hoarse voice of his
friend Thomas, the high pitched voice of Chrissy and the very clear and
pure voice of my boy, resonating in my heart and warming my soul. I was in
LOVE with that boy! But why?

I liked John, I liked him very much. The moment he looked at me, three days
ago, he felt as a dear friend. And when he suddenly sat down onto my lap
and cried his heart out, that felt completely natural as if we were totally
at ease with each other. That's why I told him everything about my life
without any restrictions, I was absolutely sure I could trust him.

I was not sure about Mark. Sometimes he seemed to be a bit jealous of
little Harry, and we didn't have a real contact with each other.

Marrie was like a little mother, nurturing and caring. She and Harry seemed
to like each other, and I felt she was a good person.

Thomas was a real boy, a rascal, always up to something daring and testing
the boundaries. He was the first one who courageously climbed the steps to
the porch and approached me three days ago. I liked him, but I didn't feel
a real connection.

Chrissy was just a young girl; glad she was allowed to join the club. She
was a bit childish and giggly, but she seemed okay.

Little Harry... the very moment John mentioned his name for the first time
I felt a flow of deep compassion and happiness stream through my body and
my heart jumped with pure joy. But why? Why did I have such strong feelings
that little Harry and I BELONGED to each other? It felt as if we had known
each other for ages and were joined again three days ago. Perhaps this had
something to do with 'past lives'; but I didn't really believe in them.

Jack, the former owner of the house... Two months ago he suddenly died and
the family sold the house to me for a very reasonable price. I had been
searching for ages but couldn't find a house that satisfied my
wishes. Until my eyes fell on a little advertisement in the local papers
and I suddenly felt an irresistible urge to phone the unknown
owners. Within two days the house belonged to me. I hired a contractor to
perform a few minor adjustments and within two weeks I moved to my new
residence. Suddenly five little children contacted me and my whole life
went upside down...

Why did I feel totally in harmony with Jack? I saw him in my mind, after I
asked John to bring little Harry to me. He looked about fifty years old,
with bright brown eyes and a very warm smile. He reminded me of my own
little brother, Joshie, with that same feeling of being in harmony with
each other. Strange...

"Dad, look!" a familiar voice called me out of my reveries.

Little Harry enthusiastically waved at me, skating with a lot of bravery
and trying to perform a couple of curves. John, Thomas and Chrissie
followed him and they all disappeared around the corner of the street.

Where was that shy little boy that always was hiding himself from the
neighborhood and only furtively slipped to his friends through the
backyards? I was glad to see how he improved himself in a day's time!
Suddenly he radiated a lot of power and self-esteem and now he played just
like every other 'normal' boy. I was really proud of him. And again he
called me 'dad'...

I realized I didn't know much about him. Did he go to school? To a normal
school or to a special school for handicapped children? Did he already make
any plans for his future? John mentioned that Harry had to go back to the
hospital within a week, but where and when? And who would pay for his
operations? I decided to have a talk with Eric and Trudy as soon as
possible. Who did little Harry belong to in reality? Did he have any
relatives? Suddenly I asked the most important question of all: was there a
chance I could adopt him as my son?

That little word 'dad' stirred something deep within me, a profound longing
to be really connected to my boy. To be a real father to MY boy...

Suddenly in a distance the joyful sounds of playing children
changed. Somebody shouted and I heard a lot of swearing and
name-calling. After a silence a slightly older voice started to curse. I
heard another scream and a lot of yelling. After a couple of seconds all
four children rounded the corner and rushed to my house, clutching their
skateboards under their arms.

"That son of a bitch!" John cursed as he sat down next to me on the porch,
heavily breathing.

"I kicked him in the nuts and he screamed like a pig!" Thomas proudly
announced as he sat down next to John.

"I jumped up and punched his nose!" Chrissy giggled as she sat down next to
me on my other side.

Harry silently nestled himself onto my lap, and I threw my arms around
him. He melted into me and started to sob.

"He is always pestering Harry and calling him names, with his big mouth and
his bad manners," John raged.

He threw his skateboard somewhere onto the porch without looking where it
landed.

"But I will get him! Next time I will bring a baseball bat with me!"

Together and filling in each other they told me what happened. Two streets
away a certain Jason, a sixteen year old and really big boy, suddenly left
his house without looking where he went. Unfortunately little Harry
couldn't stop in time and bumped into him. The boy kicked Harry off his
skateboard, threatened him and called him a freaky alien. John didn't take
that and hit him with his own skateboard. The boy cursed and threw himself
at John, but then Thomas stepped in and kicked him in the nuts, while
Chrissy punched his nose. The boy started to scream, and they left the
battlefield and hurried to me.

"Harry is bleeding!" Chrissy told me, so I looked him over.

Everything seemed to be all right, except for a small flesh wound on his
knee and a big dent in his self-esteem. John went inside and returned with
a wet cloth, a small bottle of iodine and a plaster. Carefully he cleaned
Harry's knee, put a drop of iodine into the wound, which caused a sharp
intake of breath, and then administered the plaster like a professional. I
took my handkerchief and dried Harry's eyes. Suddenly he jumped up and
grinned.

"You really GOT him! And he was a very BIG boy too! Wow!"


"Hi..." Mark and Marrie appeared on the driveway, proudly showing their new
clothes.

"Mom asks you to come over and help her with moving Harry's stuff to his
new room."

"Is our dad already back?" John asked them with some trepidation.

"Not yet," Marrie answered with a frown on her face.

"And I really hope he will NEVER come back! We are better off without him!"

She looked at little Harry and suddenly kneeled down before him.

"What's that plaster on your knee? Are you wounded?"

"Nah, just kicked off Mark's skateboard by that big boy on the next street
that always shouts at me. But John hit him with his skateboard, Thomas
kicked his nuts and Chrissy punched his nose!"

"Wow! You really did that?"

"Yeah..."

"Wow!"

We all went to John's house where a sad looking Trudy greeted us. She
offered us a cup of tea with a small pastry. After the children told her
everything about the big fight and little Harry proudly showed her his
plaster, they all went to John's bedroom to get Harry's possessions. They
returned with a couple of small boxes filled with clothing and playing
stuff. In rank they marched away to Harry's new old home. Trudy asked me to
have a look at Harry's small desk, stored in the garage. It looked rather
rickety so I decided to buy him a new one next time we went downtown. We
went back into the house and both sat down.

"Can you tell me some more about little Harry?" I asked her.

"We don't know very much about him..." Trudy answered with a sigh.

"Everything was burnt in the caravan and they couldn't find any papers at
all. Harry was only six years old so he hardly knew his last name and date
of birth. His last name sounded very foreign, something like 'Romany', and
we assumed he even didn't pronounce it right with his burnt face and
distorted lips. They tried to track down where his parents originated, but
so far everything has been in vain. Nobody seems to recognize them or to
know anything about them. The only things we know are that he probably is a
gypsy boy and his day of birth should be March the third."

"Did Harry go to a special school, and when will his school start again?"

"The first year after the fire Harry spent most of his time at the
hospital. After that he had major surgery three more times, so he never
went to school. Jack happened to have a certificate in tutoring, so Harry
was officially allowed to take home lessons for a few hours every day. They
even paid Jack for it. After Jack's sudden death we talked about Harry's
future, and we decided to try to put him into a normal school. Vacation
ends five weeks from now. But now I have another question for you. John
told me you have been married and you did have two children?"

"Yes, that's right," I confirmed.

"Well, Jack couldn't adopt Harry for he was never married. But you have
been married, so perhaps you could adopt him? Please think it over for a
while, and I will be glad to recommend you to the authorities in case you
would decide positively!"

"All done! Everything is in place except for Harry's desk," John announced
as they all entered the room.

"Well, I saw Harry's old desk and it looks rather rickety, so I thought
about buying him a little present."

Little Harry's eyes brightened and he threw his arms around my waist.

"Really? Wow! Can I have a computer-desk with such a sliding thing in the
middle?"

"Perhaps when we go back to Peter's shop. First we will try your new mask,
and after that we'll look for a new desk. OK?"

"OKAY. Marvelous!"

"New mask? What are you talking about?" Marrie asked with a question mark
on her face.

We told her everything about our adventures that morning, including the
attacking lady, Harry's mold, the happenings in the supermarket and
Christian's pending visit at eight o'clock in the evening. John looked at
his mother with a pleading look on his face and with his best puppy dog
eyes.

"Mom, may I join big Harry and little Harry this evening? Little Harry is
cooking tonight."

"Ok, but I want to see you back in the house before eight o'clock. You have
to do some chores too you know."

"Thanks mom! You are the best."

For half an hour I wasn't allowed to enter my own kitchen, so I went to the
porch and counted the minutes. Inside the house I heard the boys deliberate
about the cooking, and two times little Harry appeared in the backyard with
a big grin on his face to get himself some herbs. After a while a wonderful
smell started to fill the air and my stomach reacted by rumbling aloud.

Finally two proudly beaming boys appeared on the porch and invited me into
my own house. We went straight to the living room. The boys had put the
dinner table in the middle of the room, neatly draped with a white table
cloth and with three plates and cutlery in front of three chairs. Seven
little candles were lit and joyfully flamed, one candle in each corner and
one with each plate. Two covered dishes waited in the center. Soft music
sounded from the CD-player and a wonderful aroma filled the room, making my
stomach rumble again.

"Wow!" I exclaimed, looking around.

"I feel like a king this evening. What are you doing to me?"

They both beamed and John guided me to my chair.

It was a funny sight to see the proudly beaming face of little Harry just
above the table, giving directions to John how to remove the lid of one of
the dishes and scoop up the potage. I don't know how they did it, but the
meal tasted delicious! After the potage they went to the kitchen and John
returned with a steaming platter filled with some sort of puree, decorated
with vegetables; while little Harry carried a platter with a tasty looking
and even more tasty smelling salmon. Carefully I added some of the puree, a
few vegetables and a piece of the salmon to my platter. The second dish
turned out to be filled with tasty fried potatoes.

Never in my life I had eaten so much and so delicious! Little Harry really
was a very talented cook, and it was clear that John only helped him and
Harry gave all the directions as befits a head cook. No word was spoken, we
all were too busy with eating and savoring. After the meal three small
homemade sorbets filled the last empty holes and now we were really
stuffed!

"Wow!" I exclaimed after the meal,

"Never in my life had I enjoyed dinner so much! You are an excellent cook
and I think you will make a good living out of it when you are old enough."

"I am NOT becoming a cook," Harry answered and he looked at me with a frown
on his face,

"I really love cooking and I will always love it, but when I am old enough
I am going to help other people with their problems. That's what that
Christian fellow told me today, but I already knew that before. Inside I
can feel I have sort of a task to fulfill in my life..."

Suddenly I felt Jack around and he told me somewhere in my head:

"He is right. This evening you will hear more."

Or was I making that up myself? I still wasn't really convinced...

After a while we went to the kitchen and cleaned the dishes and the
cutlery. I brewed myself a cup of coffee and both boys took a glass of
cola. Time went by and suddenly it was nearly eight o'clock. Time for John
to go home.

"See you tomorrow in the morning!"

We both got a fierce hug and off he went. Now we both anxiously waited for
that medium, Christian. What would he tell us?


Harry AnderS, alternative writer.


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