Date: Fri, 12 Aug 2005 19:09:08 +0200
From: Harry Anders <harry@harryanders.com>
Subject: Little Harry-8

'Little Harry'
Chapter 8. Our new friend, badly abused and desperate for love.

Together we lifted the first package from the roof of the car and carried
it upstairs to little Harry's room, struggling and panting. How should one
man and two boys carry a big and heavy package upstairs and around a corner
without letting it slip? The packages had four sides, so we badly needed a
fourth person to help with carrying...

"Shall I ask Thomas to assist us, or perhaps his father?" John asked us
after we sat down on the porch, still panting.

"Hello! Do you need a hand?" a pleasant voice sounded, and a boy of about
John's age appeared on the driveway, with dark hair and deep brown eyes.

He threw his skateboard aside and joined us on the porch. After a while we
decided to go on, and with the help of the new boy we carried all the
packages upstairs. He really was a great help, but after we carried the
sixth package upstairs all of us were dead tired.

John and little Harry headed for my bedroom and slumped down on the
waterbed. The new boy looked at me with some hesitancy...

"Go on, you need your rest too!" I reassured him and ruffled his hair.

A broad smile lightened his face, and he threw himself upon the bed next to
John and Harry.

"Wow, you have a WATER bed!" he exclaimed, and he started to jump up and
down.

"Look out before you punch a leak and it empties itself!" little Harry
teased him.

For a moment the new boy hesitated...

"You're crazy!" he decided.

He poked little Harry between the ribs and started to jump up and down
again.

After a while the new boy calmed down, and John beckoned me.

"Come on dad, we have enough room for all of us!"

I was really very tired, so I carefully entered the bed. Of course John and
little Harry immediately crawled onto my stomach and started to fight for
the best place.

The new boy looked at us with bulging eyes. Slowly his face colored a deep
red and his body stiffened. I could read a lot of fear in his eyes, but
also a deep longing. This boy seemed to be a very lonely boy, who clearly
missed a lot of love in his life and wasn't used to a grown-up romping with
his children. I closed my eyes and drifted off, vaguely aware of my boys
trying to convince the new boy to participate in the fun. But he didn't
dare...

I woke up with the joyful sounds of three boys giggling and shouting in the
shower. I dozed a little longer, and then decided to have a look at what
they were doing, and where they had left our hopefully still dry towels. I
opened the door, and was greeted by a spectacular sight. Little Harry was
defending the rebuilt plastic cup wall and jumping up and down, trying to
rescue all cups that flew through the air. John had built a brainy
construction of a plastic tube with an attached balloon, the new boy used a
similar construction with a totally beaming face. They pushed a cork in the
plastic tube, squeezed the balloon, and with a loud plop the cork headed
for the plastic wall and blew the next cup away.

"Hi dad! Come on, help me to defend my fort!" Harry shouted and desperately
leapt at the next flying cup.

The new boy suddenly looked up, saw me, flinched, turned around with a wry
face, and I could see him tremble with fear.

"What's up Davey?" John asked with concern in his eyes.

Little Harry froze on the spot and inquisitively looked at the new boy with
a questioning face.

The new boy looked around like a trapped animal. Suddenly he forcefully
threw himself past me and into the hallway. He snatched his clothes from
the floor and rushed down the stairs. We heard the front door slam and he
was gone, leaving us totally astounded.

Two very distressed boys silently dressed and followed me downstairs, where
we headed for the couch.

"Do you know what happened to that boy, Davey?" I asked John after we sat
down.

"Davey seemed to be afraid of you... He hesitantly joined us in the shower,
but only after we convinced him that you really were deep asleep and
wouldn't wake up for the next two hours. At first he was very quiet and he
didn't join us, but after a while he started to enjoy himself and he really
got into our play. Until he saw you and suddenly freaked out..."

"Do you have any idea why he freaked out?"

"Come on," John beckoned little Harry, "let's go to his house and ask him!"

They both cuddled with me for a while, obviously to gather some courage,
and headed for Davey's house, leaving me on the couch with my own thoughts.

I went to the kitchen to brew myself a cup of strong coffee, and started to
think. I tried to re-live what happened, and I started with the moment I
saw the new boy, Davey, offer us a helping hand.

He seemed to be a nice boy, with a pretty face and curious and intelligent
eyes. I supposed he was the same boy that little Harry and John talked
about the other day, who taught little Harry to do double curves on his
skateboard and talked with them afterwards. They both seemed to like him.

He helped us to carry the heavy packages upstairs, and I was vaguely aware
of the fact that he tried to avoid bodily contact with me, but I didn't pay
it much attention. Now I realized that I also felt a double feeling. I saw
a longing in his eyes, and at the same time a lot of fear. What was the
trouble with this boy, and why did I feel attracted to him in a strange
way, as if I had to protect him? From what?

I remembered seeing John and little Harry enter my bedroom and slump down
on the waterbed, leaving Davey in the doorway and me one step behind
him. Again I saw that longing in his eyes when he looked over his shoulder,
hesitantly, mingled with that same fear. I ruffled his hair, and all of a
sudden a broad smile lighted his face as if he felt very relieved. He threw
himself upon the waterbed and started to jump up and down. Again I smiled
about little Harry using my little joke on him.

I remembered both boys immediately crawling onto my stomach, giggling and
fighting for the best place as usual. Suddenly Davey's eyes bulged, as if
he couldn't believe his own eyes. His face colored a deep red, and this
time I saw so much pain in his eyes...

Suddenly I was overwhelmed with a lot of compassion and my eyes started to
tear up. This was a very wounded boy!

I remembered I woke up with the sounds of three happy boys playing in the
shower. Again I saw Davey in my mind, playing in a corner of the shower
with a look of total bliss on his face. Until he saw me... suddenly his
eyes narrowed, and again I was overwhelmed by compassion. Never in my whole
life had I seen so much pain and fear in the eyes of a child, like a
trapped animal desperately trying to escape. I shivered, and my heart
opened for this obviously severely damaged boy. How could I help him? Would
I be able to help him? Suddenly I felt Jack around and I heard his voice
somewhere in my head: "He desperately needs you!"

The front door opened and John and little Harry entered the house, followed
by a sad woman and a very timid Davey. I left the couch and welcomed them
into my house. We went to the living room, where my boys settled down on
the couch next to me, while the woman and Davey each took a chair. Davey's
eyes tried to avoid mine, but he furtively stole glances at me with such a
deep longing in his eyes...

"May I have a word in private with you, please?" the woman asked me with
some hesitancy.

"Yes, of course," I answered, and we both went to the kitchen. I closed the
door.

"My name is Harry, and I am the guardian of that small boy, little Harry,"
I introduced myself.

"I already know," she answered, "and please call me Mary. Davey told me
everything about you and your boys. He told me how your boys met him
yesterday, how your youngest son burnt his face in a caravan on fire and
had to undergo four operations in two years time, how he taught your son
some double curves on his skateboard, and how your boys spoke about you
with so much love and respect..."

She stopped with tears in her eyes, and blew her nose in a tissue. She put
the tissue back into her handbag.

"This whole day he surfed around the neighborhood on his skateboard, hoping
to meet your boys again. He nearly was desperate, for he thought he
couldn't find you and your boys, and he didn't know where you were
living. Davey is an only child, without any living relatives, and his
father is in prison for a long time. He abused Davey from a very young age,
and Davey never told me because he believed every father did those things
with his children. His father so cleverly hid everything from me that I
never suspected anything was wrong, until two years ago Davey suddenly
started to bleed from his anus. I took him with me to a hospital, where
they told me my child was severely abused. My whole world scattered into
pieces. After a humiliating process, his father was convicted and went to
prison for a very long time without seeing his son again. But Davey still
seems to miss him badly, despite everything he went through..."

She started to sob, and I offered her a glass of water.

"Half an hour ago Davey suddenly returned, with his clothes in his hands
and crying his heart out. Still sobbing he told me everything, about you
treating him the same way as you treated your own boys, ruffling his hair
and allowing him to join you in your waterbed with your own boys. Then your
boys and you started to cuddle with each other, and he nearly
suffocated. His own father never cuddled with him, but always tried to
touch him and to play with his privates. And you did nothing improper to
your boys, but you dozed off with both boys lying on your stomach and
cuddling with you... that's when he realized how a real father could be.

I didn't understand everything he told me, but I think they started a game
in the shower, and he really enjoyed the company of your boys. Suddenly you
appeared in the doorway, and everything returned to him about his own
father entering the shower every time he was in there, and trying to abuse
him... and he freaked out.

Now he is desperate, for he thinks you are mad at him for leaving your
house all of a sudden without saying goodbye. Your boys tried to convince
him that you really aren't mad at him, but he's still very afraid. I hope I
am not imposing too much, but Davey NEEDS a man in his life..."

Her eyes stared into nowhere, and I could feel her pain and her
desperation.

I brewed us a cup of coffee to break the tension. After a while Mary dried
her eyes and we went back to the living room. All three boys were sitting
in front of the computer playing an adventure game. Little Harry's eyes
radiated when he saw me and a broad smile entered his face. John looked at
me with pure love in his eyes, he furtively hinted at Davey and slightly
nodded. Davey looked at me with fear in his eyes and he flinched a bit, but
this time he didn't look away, and again I saw that longing in his eyes. I
smiled at him, and slowly his expression changed and he looked more
relaxed.

"Hi boys, enjoying the game? Who wants a cola?" I asked them.

Two hands immediately went upwards, followed by a hesitating third hand.

"Davey, would you mind to help me with the colas?" I asked him.

His face changed with a shocked expression. Unsure he followed me to the
kitchen.

"Please will you get the cola out of the fridge and pour yourself and the
boys a glass? There's a tray on the cupboard."

Relief poured from his face, and his deep brown eyes started to
shine. Carefully he filled three glasses and put them on the tray, while I
brewed Mary and myself another cup of coffee. Together we returned to the
living room and this time he didn't try to avoid bodily contact. Our
shoulders lightly touched in the doorway, and it felt like something
electrical exchanged between us.

"Thank you my friend. You are a wonderful help!" I told him, and again his
face lit up.

"Will you get us some cookies from the cupboard on the left?"

Now he definitely looked proud and he hurried back to the kitchen.

"Dad?" John asked me, "we still have to put together two computer
desks. Perhaps Davey could help us tonight?"

Davey beamed and his mother immediately nodded her consent. I silently sent
my dear friend my love and he knowingly smiled.

"Would you like to have dinner with us tonight, Mary?" I invited her.

"No thank you. Another time will be fine, but tonight I have something else
to do. Will you send Davey home about nine o'clock?"

We said our goodbyes, and Mary went home with a lot of relief on her
face. The three boys went back to their adventure game, and I phoned the
number from the small card that Peter handed me this morning. I made an
appointment for little Harry and me, to visit the clinic in two days.

"Yes!" little Harry shouted and jumped up, "I am getting my new face! Thank
you dad. Thank you!"

He jumped into my arms and melted into me. I held him close and kissed his
little distorted nose and his forehead. Suddenly I saw Davey, longingly
looking at us with tears in his eyes. I beckoned him over, and hesitantly
he neared us. I freed one arm and put my free arm around his waist, but he
immediately froze and didn't let me pull him into my arm. I clearly had to
be very patient with this so damaged boy! But he didn't withdraw himself,
and I saw that as a hopeful sign. I tried to pour a lot of love into him,
and after a while I really could feel his tension subdue.

John slowly neared us from the other side and tenderly pushed Davey into
me, putting his own arms around Davey, little Harry and me. What a
thoughtful boy! Within a few seconds Davey melted into us, now softly
sobbing and sucking in all love and all warmth like a sponge. John got
tears in his own eyes, and little Harry beamed and tried to melt into me
and into Davey at the same time.

For a long time we all held onto each other, unwilling to break the
contact. At last little Harry started to flinch.

"I have to use the toilet very badly!"

"Where are your pampers?" John teased him.

You're crazy!" and he rushed away, clamping his hands around his boyhood.

We all started to laugh, even Davey.

We decided to have macaroni with cheese for dinner. Little Harry cooked the
macaroni, John sliced the onions, Davey sliced the tomatoes, and I sliced
the cheese into little pieces. After a while little Harry went into his
garden, followed by a curious Davey, and returned with some of his famous
herbs. He carefully baked the onions and mingled everything together with
his herbs, the tomatoes, the macaroni and finally the cheese and some
spices. Soon a wonderful aroma started to fill the kitchen. John got the
plates from the cupboard and Davey scooped the now-readied macaroni onto
the plates, while little Harry handed the filled plates around the table
with a proud face.  The macaroni was tasty; however, for my personal taste
Harry used too much onions... but the boys loved it! They licked their
fingers and scraped the skillet for more.

After the meal the boys washed everything and cleaned the kitchen, while I
prepared four ice-sorbets. We took them with us to the living room, where I
sat down on my usual place in the middle of the couch. John nestled onto my
left side, Harry took his place onto my lap, and Davey sat down onto my
right side, nearly touching me. After a while I suddenly felt some
contact... very slowly and nearly imperceptibly Davey rested his head onto
my shoulder. Tentatively I put my right arm around him, and suddenly he let
himself completely go and he melted into my right side. Never in my life
had I felt so grateful! My third boy had found his place where he felt at
ease.

After a while we went upstairs to put little Harry's computer desk
together. The rest of the evening we studied drawings, compared the lengths
of the different screws, and tried to decipher what exactly the makers of
this complicated puzzle had in mind. Slowly the puzzle started to look like
a real computer desk, and just before nine o'clock little Harry's computer
desk was completely ready. Little Harry beamed and proudly sat down on a
chair behind his new desk like a real prince.

"Now you really look like Prince Harold..." John chuckled, causing little
Prince Harry to send him a dead look.

Davey had to go home. Reluctantly we went downstairs and accompanied him to
the front door. Suddenly Davey threw his arms around my neck and kissed me.

"Thank you, I really loved being here with you. May I come back tomorrow?"

"You may come back every time you wish. You are always welcome here."

He got tears in his eyes and softly murmured: "I wish you were my dad..."

We decided to accompany him to his house. It was a nice evening, and we
really enjoyed the cool breeze and the bright stars above our heads. We
delivered Davey to his mother who heartily thanked us, and went back home
to puzzle John's computer desk together. Fortunately we learned a lot from
the first puzzle, and the second desk seemed much easier to build. Dead
tired but happy, we showered and went to bed.

That night I slept peacefully, lying on my back, with both boys softly
snoring in my arms.

Suddenly I woke up and I saw Jack, standing in a bright light, with a
serious expression on his face.

"There will be a difficult time for all three of you, but you will come
through, and in the end there will be victory!"

Slowly the light faded away and left me puzzled for a long time. What did
Jack mean?



Harry AnderS, alternative writer.


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