Date: Mon, 7 Oct 2002 15:04:14 -0400
From: paul paris <shaksbeer@ureach.com>
Subject: Looking for Answers  Part 4

This story comes from my imagination. It is \fiction. The names of the
people with in have been changed and any similarity to places known or
otherwise is purely coincidental.

The subject matter is of some discussion at the moment due to its
nature. The relationship between a man and boys that contained sex, I do
not agree with this but it happens everywhere so ignoring it will not make
it go away. Trying to understand if an actual relationship is possible is
another matter.

If you are not of an adult disposition or do not like this subject then may
I suggest that you go back to Nifty's archives and choose a more
appropriate subject.

I thank Nifty for the chance to see a story published; also I want to thank
all of you who have sent email. The comments and thanks made this all
worthwhile.  Those of you who have asked if I am English; I have no
label. An Englishman who lives abroad proofreads my writings. Perhaps
that's what you see and read.


			   Looking For Answer's
				 Chapter 4


I awoke that morning with so many questions in my head. I was looking at
the ceiling but I could feel someone close to me as anyone ever could be. I
knew it was a naked body and I knew who it was. You would not believe just
how much I needed this boy. I could not get my arm around him any
tighter. His leg was over mine, he was holding so tight.

"I can see that you are awake Simon. What are you thinking about? You look
so serious."

What a silly position to be in. I was expected to answer a boy who was
being genuine. I was expected to tell him that I had fallen madly in love
with him and if he wanted to know the truth; if we never had sex again it
would not matter. I just had Alan.

I have a gun hidden in my house somewhere and I am not scared to use
it. That's for you reading this. I have already been through the position I
was in. Yes I can see that if you had a boy willing to give his love then
stop worrying. If you had a boy who sex drive was like a rampant rabbit on
the go. If I had a boy that gave me love like never before, all because he
loved me, then what is there to worry about? These and many more things had
gone through my head.

"Alan I have to ask you a question, do you think that we should be doing
things like we did last night?"

"Simon don't you think that it is a bit late to ask that question?"

I listened to the Adult words coming out of someone so young. I looked at
him while he smiled as if to say, "What is up? Have you got scared, now you
have, what you were scared to admit all along?"

"Simon you were not the only one who was scared when this all started. How
do you think I felt sitting in a stranger's car with my shorts almost
off. This morning I was going to tell you then ask you something that only
you would understand."

I could not let Alan down. I had gone along with this or had I started
this? I will let you work that out.

"I have a friend who lives on the other side of town. When we meet we go
for a long walk. We have been looking for the right place to go. You know
how much I care about you and I would do nothing to spoil our friendship
but if he came here then maybe we would have some time at last together.
Like me no one knows what he feels. One day when we were alone it seemed
the right thing to do so I kissed him. Like a waterfall he gushed out all
about his feelings. He is a boarding school boy. He has been used to a
quick get together with others. At home he is alone that was until we
met. His name is Martin and he has just had his eleventh birthday."

I got a kiss after being told the story. I did not melt but how do they
say, I was putty in his hands.

You never know Simon; he might even want to do things with you. That's got
to be worth it?"

I was angry so told him.

"Alan listen, do you think that I would agree to this just because I want
to do stuff with yet another boy? How could you think that?"

I was angry. I got up and headed towards the shower. I soaped well that
morning. I stayed there for a very long time. When I did come out the bed
was made and I could smell coffee. I dressed quickly then headed to the
kitchen. In the living room was Alan all packed ready to go. His bag over
his shoulder and a single word came from his mouth.

"Sorry."

"Where are you going?"

"I made a mistake. I will go home and let my parents know that you sent me
home. What we did is our secret. A smack is something I can cope with after
a night like last. If you like I can even tell them that you thought you
had measles that way they have no cause to think bad of me. Whatever
happens I am ready to go home. I have some money, enough for the bus. What
time does it go?"

It was as if I had been placed against a wall ready for the firing squad.

"Alan do not be silly. I wanted you to understand that what we did has to
be a secret. Bringing in a complete stranger would make it very
difficult. I love you but what would your parents think. I look at the big
picture Alan. It is the future that concerns me not the past. What we have
done was great. Others would not see it like that. Your friend would be
difficult to talk to. From what you told me you and he would like to do
things. I have no problem with that but if by chance I was to see you and
he panicked, if you were to say, oh he is cool we made love last night. I
do not think he would understand. I really do not want you to go home Alan
I want you so much to be here. Call your friend if you wish but please be
very careful."

Alan dropped his bag when he ran towards me. It was a hug of understanding;
it was a hug of love.

I took some coffee. I heard Alan make the call. It was clear that he was
speaking to Martin's mother. The word yes was mentioned quite a bit. The
call did not last long but when I heard "Uncle Simon, phone for you," I
could sense that I was becoming a pawn in the larger scheme of things.

"Hello this is Simon. How can I help?"

"Mr Ross hear. Young Alan has told us of your offer with all the measles
going around and I think it is a wonderful idea. I have spoken quickly to
my wife and of course Martin and we would love to accept your offer. I know
that he will be well looked after. Thank you for offering to collect him
when you collect our rent this morning. I have to tell you that having
Martin around our feet all day was beginning to get somewhat hectic. It
will be an adventure for our Martin but he is use to staying away. Alan and
he get on so very well. Until later this morning then Simon, goodbye."

That was that. It was a strange conversation. It seemed all one way. "Hello
I have a son. We prefer him to stay away. You want him? Take him. Goodbye."

"So Simon what happened?"

"I think that Martin is coming to stay. I never got to talk to him but I
assume he wants to?"

"He likes it when he is away from home. He is different. Just to explain
it, do you think I could be like I am at home? I know whom you like. Simon
is just the same. Quiet at home he opens up when he is away."

Well Coffee finished followed by washing up it was decided that breakfast
would be had out. We would get as much done as we could then stop to eat.

With Alan helping we did everything. With one house to do we decided that
we could wait that long. It was Alan's friend Martin's house. His parents
were happy people who worked hard to save the money just so that Martin
could go to a private school. Before they asked me anything they thrust a
small case into my hand then asked me if I was married. Talk about closing
the gate after the bull had run away. It seemed that because Alan was with
me and he had exhaled my praises they were convinced. The rent man/owner of
their property could not be at all bad. If only they knew, and trust me to
think like that.  Martin came around the corner towards me. This boy was
beautiful. Slightly smaller than Alan, Total blond hair, wearing a large
sweatshirt with his schools logo on it (Buckingham Collage) Three quarter
length shorts and white ankle sock with Trainers that looked as if they had
never been worn. You might think that he had caught my eye but it was not
the clothing and sweetness it was the sharp brown eyes that could have
pierced me like a knife.

"Uncle Simon this is Martin."

"Hello there Martin I have heard so much about you. I hope your short stay
will be all that you hope for."

"Hello Sir. From what Alan has told me I think that it is going to be very
special."

I looked very quickly at Alan who was looking at the ground

With the parents happy to wave their son off completely unlike Alan's who
made the goodbye's in a different manner. We all headed for the car. With
work finished I made a quick total and banked the money. We all decided
that an early lunch being that we missed breakfast was in order so the
local burger place was agreed upon. We managed to find a table and I asked
Alan to get the food. I watched the boys all the time they spoke. I did not
know where to look when Martin looked at me then Alan saying, "You didn't?"

When they got back it was still a very quiet conversation. I was feeling
very uncomfortable. When we left I made a quick run to home.

Alan showed Martin around all the time I sat and had myself a Brandy. I do
not drink at any other time accept after all the rents had been collected,
today I did however pour a bigger than normal glass.

I tried so hard not to look at the boys when they came out but the look got
the better of me. The boys had a soft drink then looked straight at me
while sitting on the floor. I know that they were not twins but there was
this look that could say so much.

"Martin tell me about yourself. Alan asked me this morning if you could
come to stay for a while but I do not know anything about you."

"Well I am 11 years old and go to a private school, I guess you know that?
I like music and things that other people would not understand. I am going
to try out for the cricket 11 very soon so sports is a favourite. I like
all my lessons but I am not that good. I try my best and dad says that is
all that matters."

I nodded in agreement because dad's word is right to most sons.

"Talk to Simon about the things that people would not understand? Have you
tried to speak to someone at school about them Martin?"

"Hell no. If I brought this up then I know what would happen."

I did not need to wonder but I did hope that he would not tell me. If it
were what I thought then I would have to disclose things that I wanted left
between the people and me.

"Simon, what you and Alan have done, well I have those feelings. I cannot
let them show at school but I tried to tell Alan who did try to help but
there is no where that is safe."

I was very uncomfortable.

"Sorry Simon. I can see that this is the wrong time. Now you know how I
feel at school. I wish that there was just one person who would tell me if
I am ill or not?"

"Martin you are not ill. You are normal for a boy of your age. I went
through the same thing when I was young. The difference with me was that my
liking for boys never went away."

"Simon I am different, it is hard to speak about it."

I watched Alan give Martin some comfort while I expected to see tears.

"Simon I told you I go away to school."

"Yes."

"Well there was a teacher there. His name was Mr Salmon. He was our art
teacher. I liked his lesson. He seemed to give me more time than the others
but I doubt that was true. The longer I was in his company the stranger I
felt. One day I spoke to him about it but he dismissed it as simple boyhood
feeling because I was growing up. I thought long and hard about what I said
then wrote him a letter explaining that if I had feeling for a girl like
this then I think I would call it love. I did my best not to put him in a
position that would become awkward. Simon after the next lesson he left. I
found a note asking me to meet him at the playing field. I went. He was
there to say goodbye. After just one kiss, something I had wanted to happen
for 6 months he was gone. From that day I have never thought about things
that way. I met Alan and we tried to find a place to talk. It was when he
held my hand that things changed. It seemed that we were destined to be
apart. I still remember wha!  t Mr Salmon made me feel also how I wished
that he would just say it was all right, but alas he never did.

I was listening for what seemed like hours. Alan had his head bowed but the
room echoed the sound of tears falling.

"Martin, that is so sad." Said Alan

I agreed but how was I supposed to handle it. A boy who I had known for
less than 2 hours was opening up; speaking about things that I was sure
should be kept quiet. Of course Martin would have been much better if his
Mr Salmon had taken the hint and showed some sort of affection to him. I
wondered if that's what was needed? If this man had taken this boy would he
be any better for it?

I had a refill of Brandy.

I showed something by placing my hand upon his head. Alan was by my side
looking for something to stop him feeling so sad. My arm around his
shoulders worked instantly. He had like most boys a crumpled tissue that
was well used but he had to wipe the tears somehow.

I took to the settee. Alan sat next to me. The hug did not bother me even
in front of his friend. Martin did watch but was clearly still thinking
about the teacher.

"It is hard to be so young and say that you find men attractive."

All of a sudden the room was still and quiet. Both boys were in there own
thoughts. I went to make up the spare bed to take my mind of things and
Martin sat next to Alan to speak. I could not hear them but every now and
again I heard a few words that sounded like the burger place that we had
dinner at.

When I came back to the room evening had just started to come in. The
thought of eating anything was way beyond me but the boys had to have
something. Trying to break the atmosphere I let the boys have control of
the kitchen. The made something which cheered them up. They washed up
cleaning all the surfaces as they went. I was given a coffee while the boys
sat looking at me. Martin spoke;

"May I ask you a question Simon? If you do not want or cannot answer then I
will understand."

I just smiled and nodded.

"You said that you liked boys and still do. What is it about them that make
you feel the way you do?"

I was not expecting such a question. Martin saw that I was uncomfortable
and apologised for asking.

""No do not be sorry Martin. It was just a shock that's all. Well, boys are
so,"

"Soft."

"No Alan it's not that. When I was at school boys seemed to show no fear
when they wanted to be close to me. I liked the things that we could do; I
even loved the way they acted. It was as if their needs were stronger than
mine. Does that help?"

"I see. What would you do now is a boy came to you?"

I looked at Alan then Martin. I wanted to say I did not know but it was
quite clear that he was pressing for an answer.

"Martin you have asked a difficult question but I will try to answer. You
must understand that we are talking about a subject that is against the law
and also frowned upon in our society. I look at you and see a boy with
looks that would make anyone smile. People who like boys would do anything
just to be near you. Does that answer your question?"

Alan looked at me then gave a simple snigger while Martin was looking at me
with his mouth wide open. I had to leave the room. The kitchen seemed to be
the answer and I washed the cups up several times.

I was playing that whole scene in my mind. I just did not believe that this
boy had opened my thoughts and feelings so easily. Alan came and asked me
if I was all right. I never answered.

"Simon you never said that to me but I knew somehow that you felt that
way. I thought you said that we had to keep our feeling between us. Martin
is now wondering what happened. You have done something because he is
behaving differently. Do you really see that in him or were you just saying
what he wanted to hear?"

"I am sorry Alan but I let my feelings get the better of me. Now you know
just how special boys are to me. I have since I left school never thought
that way so I was happy at looking but not touching. Things have
changed. It worries me that others who would not understand will hear about
this."

"Do you not believe that? I won't tell anyone? Do you think that I would
tell anyone about how I feel? I am pleased to know who I am, the question
is are you happy to be who you are?"

Out of the mouths of babes. He was right. To have opened myself to comments
good and bad was something that I never expected to be in. I was stroking
Alan's hair trying to comfort him or was it me. Martin was standing at the
kitchen door looking at us.

"Martin can you see why it was something that was to hard to answer yet you
got a full and frank answer which after it happened I wish I had never
said."

"Why. It made me feel good. With all the feelings I have it was good to
know someone else feels the same. I take it that you like Alan? I can see
he likes you. Do you think that I could get a hug?"

Martin, before he got an answer walked to Alan and I. He was close enough
to touch. As soon as the arm was around him he melted against me. Both boys
were now smiling because the attention they wanted they were receiving.

"Simon do you think that we should..."

The question that I hoped would never be asked was there in my face. I
pushed the boys back through to the sitting room and closed the kitchen
door. I adjusted the lights while locking the doors. I walked to the settee
and the boys were next to me.

Simon shall I undress or do you want to do it?"

Martin looked at Alan while he spoke. He did not seem shocked but was
showing a great deal of interest in the answer I was going to give.

"Alan, you choose."

"Simon make love to me."

Alan moved towards me untill our lips were in contact with each
other's. His arms were tight around me. It was easy to slip a hand under
the shirt feeling the warmth of his body.

I saw Martin looking at me.

"Sorry Martin. This should not be happening."

"Why? Do you love each other?"

I never got to answer that.

"Of course we do Martin. It's been this way since we first met. Simon is my
man and I am his boy. It's the way we both want it."

I heard a laugh then both Alan and I heard, "Is there room for a little
one?"

It was Alan who grabbed Martin. The hold they had on each other was
tight. I remember Alan saying that they had tried for so long to find
somewhere so that they could be together. It looked like the place was
going to be right in front of my legs.

Their eyes were closed but the hug was tender. Both of the boys had found
something that had been missing. It was so special being a witness to the
sight of seduction.

I thought that Martin was going to fall when Alan tried to slip his hand
under the sweatshirt. Taking one step back Martin composed himself for the
touch. The tip of his tongue was between his lips as every stroke came into
contact with the skin that before today had only ever been touched by
him. The kiss was short but lasted long enough to say what was
required. When they parted they both had grown just for the sake of the
sentiments given.

"Are you both going to be alright now?"

Alan looked at me,

"Only after you have made love to me."

"Me too."

With a hand in each of mine I took them both to the room closing the
curtains for privacy. It was strange that I had to remove four shoes and
not two. Little socks were placed in them allowing their toes to stretch
and curl under my touch.

"Last chance to run away from me."

I know, yet another saying that made me wish for the earth to open and
swallow me up. I was getting use to these by know but I was still getting
angry. What went through me? I was excepting one or both boys to get up and
leave me all alone. They didn't but that was more luck than judgment.

The boys just sat there while I watched their every move. Alan was far more
excited about this but I was sure that Martin being new was just not sure,
maybe even scared.

I started with Alan because it seemed that he had said more than I ever
expected. His shirt only had 4 buttons but they were just as hard as the
one from the night before. When the shirt was open I kissed every part that
I remember. He liked it. Martin was watching very carefully. I took the
shirt off, folded it and placed it over the chair arm. Martin never moved
when I moved under his sweatshirt. The skin was shaking. The nipples were
larger than Alan's. I lifted him up so that I could slip it over his
head. He shook when the air found the flesh but I folded the shirt and
placed it on the opposite arm. I remember Alan's belt but his trousers were
different. They were hooked and buttoned. The zip was metal but we could
hear the rasping noise when I slipped it down. Opening them I got the sight
of the white boxers he had on. I was going to remove them but wanted to
take things easy.

Martin was lying back with his head lifted so that he could see what I was
doing. No belt but his three quarter shorts were pretty strong. With a tug
the silver popper echoed around the room. The buttons that closed his fly
came open very easily. Gently I opened the material and saw the blue briefs
that had been hidden all day. I took a chance here by lifting his legs on
my shoulders so that I could easily remove the shorts that looked so new. I
folded them, put them with his shirt on the arm of the chair. No worries at
all. Martin was in the blue briefs, just lying there with a smile that was
happy to see.

Alan's legs were done one by one. His trousers slid down each leg slipping
along the skin like ice. I folded then put them on His shirt then turned
back to see him, white boxers, right next to Martin.

The two pillows stood out in the light that was dimmed. Taking Martin in my
arms I carried him over, letting his hair of the same colour spread over
the pillow. A soft kiss brought a response that surprised me. He kissed
back with more urgency than I had expected. My hands and arms let him rest
on the bed relaxing to the situation.

Alan was just a bit heavier but his caress was much more than a first
attempt. Our lips stayed together all the time till I released his body and
his hair acted in the same way as Martin's and waved over the pillow
showing a satisfaction all the way.

I stood watching them both just as I left them. I looked at one then the
other.

"Shall I undress or shall I finish what I have started?"

Both boys looked at each other.

"You first. Then come to us."

I hoped in my heart that they did not see me rip the clothing from my
body. I wanted it to look so special but my heart said different. I did not
think about anything so when I realised that I was naked I had no choice
but to crawl between them hoping my eagerness would not frighten them.

It was Alan who first took my attention. The boxers he was wearing had no
buttons so they easily slipped down. With the speed of a snail I slipped
them down allowing his proud erection to stand upright getting all the
looks it needed.

"Martin it's your turn now. Are you sure that you want this to happen?"

He lifted his bottom from the bed. That was a yes. I was careful because
they seemed a bit tight. I did not want to hurt him if he was excited. I
slipped them over his penis, growing erect all the time. The briefs slipped
away leaving both boys naked and ready for anything that might happen.

I looked into Martin's face all the time. I moved into kiss him. His arms
went around me and we were one. His penis was hard against me. I could feel
some soft hairs touching my skin. The kiss opened up allowing our teeth to
touch, that made him groan. I slipped my tongue into his mouth and he
shivered all over. I could see Alan watching us with this smile that I was
sure said, "I never thought I would see this."

It was so nice, I am sure that there was a better word, Being between these
boys. It was Martin that had my attention. I was able to hold his
erection. It did not take much doing so that when the skin retracted
leaving the deep red head showing I was surprised at how large it was. I
took a single finger into my lips covering it completely in salvia. Aiming
for the tip that was exposed I was gentle at making it silky. A shudder
brought forth a single drip of what was inside him, this combined with my
finger made him so sensitive to my touch. I was sure that I could see it
getting larger and larger after every circle I made. He did not have enough
skin to cover the head now and that was clear.

With his hands behind his head I drifted down to the pole. My lips took
over from my finger while Alan gave his friend a kiss. Lips around one
while my hand was busy on the other. Alan was the first to cum. I never saw
what happened being that my mouth was full. I heard the noise then felt the
fluid running over my hands. He never stopped me rubbing him and it was a
surprised to hear "It's happening again."

Alan shook violently with a second climax. He tried to shake and suck so
much when it happened that his face went a strange colour. The moment he
relaxed Martin raised himself high. I almost lost him. 1 spit, well that's
all it felt like combined with convulsions. His eyes rocked into his head
with the deepest groan that I had ever heard. I sat back allowing both boys
to hug and kiss. It was so special. I lifted a leg either side of my head
and my forefinger started to find the holes that had been tightly shut.

In almost unison the fingers disappeared. Both boys shook but never parted
from their kiss. Alan took two but Martin was holding tight on my hand.

"Simon do it to me while I kiss Martin."

I slipped behind Alan wondering if some cream would be needed. It was
simple. I was hard all right but Alan took me all. He was like suction. I
was taken to its full length. My arms held them both. Martin was kissing
Alan while he pushed back and I just pushed back inside him. When it was
time both boys must have felt me explode. We all collapsed, tight, together
but happy. Martin was smiling when I tried to pull out. It was solid.

I managed to get a sheet over us when it popped out. I was not sure just
how long it was but Alan had moved behind me. I must have fallen asleep. My
hand was resting on Martin with his lips almost against my cheek.

I woke up to the light but Alan was in the shower. Martin was against me
with his bum right against me. It was hard not to try and do to him what
Alan was happy to do. All it would have taken was a single push.

"Why do you think I am here Simon?"

That morning because of the light I saw what we were doing. No I never
fucked this virgin he turned to me and allowed himself to get in such a
state that his comment of "I must have a shower now." Was real. I did take
his small offering watching it shoot a clear jet into my hairs. He was
happy with that but I could tell that this had been a night that he would
remember for the rest of his life.

Alan came back all fresh and clean. Martin ran to the shower. It was clear
that the stuff above his penis was not got from being sucked.

"Simon I think Martin likes you. He will never love you as much as I
do. You can take me at any time. Even in the car. Shall I wear some shorts
for you today?"

I had a big problem. Patch, Alan and now Martin. The feelings had
returned. Could I choose or would I have to face a mutiny because I could
not say who was the best. Martin walked from the shower. I now saw him
naked in the real light of day. He was beautiful.

Patch was 12, Alan was almost 12 then Martin was 11 years old. Neither of
them showed any movement towards puberty. The small down covering about
their penises could only be seen close up, yet Martin's could be seen
through to the skin. I made the biggest mistake that anyone in my position
ever could.

"You boys are all very special. I like it best when you do not show any
hair. You are all starting to grow now but that does not mean that I do not
love you."

Twice in one chapter I wished that the ground would open up and swallow me.

"You all fancy a trip to the fair?



Looking for Answers Chapter 5 To follow.


Comments welcome but flames will be ignored and extinguished.