Date: Wed, 19 Mar 2003 15:13:18 +0100 (CET)
From: aban aziz <abandanske@yahoo.de>
Subject: Love me or Fuck me

It is an hour or two past midnight already. But I am not on my bed yet and
my thought is not sleeping yet. Instead, sitting on a stone facing the
Indian ocean I clenched my fist as the wind blew hard and cold on my
direction. My eyes focused on nothing, as the sea in front of me is too
dark to see.

Some old prostitutes women pass me by many times and tell me to go home as
I am too young to stay there that late, but I dont care, and those old
women let me alone too, after sometime. I guess they have more things to do
and they have their own problems than paying some attention on me.

Its getting too cold for my body to accept and my body start shivering but
my mind is on fire and I am not happy and I don't want to go home. Yess, I
hate to go home. I am ... afraid to go home. I am ... scared to go home.

And some more older prostitutes tell me to go home. Beside that some
transvestite prostitutes cries and giggles. While some man just go by,
don't care of anything else but their own business of getting someone to
fuck. The moon started to show up from behind the dark clouds, and its
golden lights shadows on the surface of the sea. The sea's softly waves
makes the golden shadows on its surface look alive and scary. But for me
the thought of home, facing all the sad memories, makes the looks on the
sea surface mean nothing.

"What are you doing here, my son, what are you looking for?" a voice and a
sudden touch on my shoulder schocked me.

I look at the source of the voice, a strong man on his 40's look me
straight in the eye. I did not answer, instead I look back at him to his
eyes.

" I don't know " I answer finally. I look back to the sea now, and the man
take his place, sitting beside me. The Indian ocean in front of me seems
like to understand my feelings. It keeps still, blended to the darkness of
this very early morning.

" Don't you have to go to school tomorrow ? " the man asked , but I did not
answer. So we stay quiet for sometime before He asked me again where I
stay. I tell him my place. My house is indeed faraway from the beach, Its
about 7 km from there, So the man was surprised and asked me how I come
there to the beach this late. I answered him I've been there since this
afternoon, with the bus, and that is the truth.

The man didn't say anything anymore after that. He seems like to understand
my feelings because then he Hugged me very tight. And honestly, I enjoy his
hug because it feels very warm.

We sit there about an hour only with a little talk before he asked me If I
would love him to take me home. I said ok, so we drive to my home with his
car. We arrived in my house, and everything is dark as usual.

The man is surprised when I open the door with my own key and asked me
where my familly is. I did not answer him and just asked him to come in
with me and go to my room. He sits on my bed and asked me to sit on his
lap. I did just what he asked, as I enjoy his hug before, and it feels nice
to be hugged by this strong man.

With me on his lap, he hugged me really tight and started to kiss me on my
neck. Its ticklish but I like it. He keeps kissing me on my neck while his
hands started to touch my stomach, my flat breast, my hips, and unbutton my
trousers. His breath become very strong and so his touches too.

After he has my trousers open and freed them he did also my shirts.
Completely naked he lays me on my bed. and he makes himself naked. This man
is very big and strong. I was only 13 and this man is big and strong. His
chest and groin is hairy, while I am smooth and not even much pubic hair
yet.

I am a little afraid and I know this man can be dangeraous, but I didnot do
anything. I just lay on my bed looking at this man getting himself naked
for me. His dick is big, very big compare to mine in that age. and it is
standing almost flat to his stomach.

He come to me, touch me everywhere again and kiss me allover. He bites my
nipple before he rolled me to my stomach and he kiss my ass cheek. He
licked the cleft of my ass and both of his hands separated my cheeks. His
tounge touch my hole. and I scream from pleasure. He kissed me there, he
licked me there, he eat me there, and I fly to heaven.

But that was not long because then he lay on top of me and I can't breath
because he is very heavy. He spread my legs with his big legs, and both of
his hands spread my asscheeks. I feel his hard dick, very big and wet, and
hot, touch my hole. It feels nice and hot when it touched my hole. I love
it. He tried to push, but it just touches and pushes on the outer ring of
my hole. It doesnt want to come in because my hole is still too small and
his dick head is too big. it feels nice. I love the wetness and the hotness
of it as it touch my hole. But when he lay flat on my back, and his hand
guided his dick to my hole, and he push, and push, and push, I started to
feel uncomfortable.

My small body is being crushed to the mattras by his big body, it is
uncomfortable feeling. I can't breath. But It's worse as I feel his big
dick head started to hurt me as he push it harder to enter my hole. I feel
numb. It hurts. and it is too big. but he pushed harder, and it starts to
tear me apart. I bit my lips and I cry, but I dont scream. He pushed harder
and he hurts me more as I feel something round and hard started to try to
enter my hole. It feels so big and it tears the outer skin of my hole. I
cry. but he keeps harder pushing it in me.

" Stop it please... It hurtss.... " I can't endure the pain anymore as I
feel it started to push in.

He stops, and roll over me, his dick slip out from my hole. My hole feels
burn and still hurting. But then from behind, he grabed one of my legs and
lifted it up. One of his legs placed in between my legs. He spit some to
his other palms and smear it to my hole. And he spit again some more, and I
can feel he wet his dick with it.

Then he start to push his dick again from behind. His dickhead slip easily
in this time. But it still hurts so I scream. He just push my legs wider
for better entry and he push some more. It still hurts me bad, but at least
it feels lighter as his weight is no more on me. I feel really hurts but as
his dick head slip in, he let it just that way without any further
movement. So, after sometime I can manage the feelings eventhough it still
doesnt feel nice. He stay that way a long , long time, but his dick keeps
hard all the time. even harder, and I feel like it is getting bigger.

Sometime I feel it pulses inside me, and when he start to kiss my neck
again and play his hands with my nipples, I feel like my hole being wetter
than before. Maybe its all coming from his precum inside me, but I really
can feel my hole is getting wet. and his dickhead inside me feel very hot
and slipery.

He spit again and wet the rest of his dick which is still outside of my
hole. His kisses on my neck ticklish me, and when he bites my neck, he push
his dick forward.

"Aaachh...!" I scream as eventhough his bites on my neck separate my
feelings from my hole but I still can feel it slide halfway in my hole, and
it feels huge !!! The feelings started to feel uncomfortable again in my
hole but he Can't control himself anymore. His breath become very hard and
he chewed my neck on all side and he pushed further forward untill I feel
he can't go further in my hole.

I started to cry again but he just dont care. The feeling is unbearable but
I don't try to push him out or away, I just cry and bite my lips but I let
him started to slide his dick in and out of me. I feel my hole burn with
each movement he made. But I just let him do it.

While he keeps pushing his dick in and out of me, I really can feel it
hurts my inside. His dick is so big for my hole I can feel his movement and
the skin of his dick slide in and out of me touched each side of the wall
of my insides. I feel burn. hurts. But I even hold him for support. My mind
is flying. my thought brought back all the nightmares in my life.

Now I start to growl as the feelings of his dick in me become so intense,
my hole feels really full and it burns, but I pushed back. I pushed back to
welcome his dick further away inside me. My mind is racing to collect all
the memories of my young life. My emotion started to flow. My hearts
started to ask why ?? why ??

"Fuck me, ... fuck me hard and long please..,... love my hole,... love my
hole with your hard dick,....please fuck me hard and long...." I cry, and I
begged this strong man to fuck my hole. To fuck it hard......

I don't know what is going on but as his dick slamming in me hard , it
feels like my anger to my dad who always did bad things to me answered. I
dont know why, but as my hole feels tired of the dick being push in and out
of it I feel like the sadness of my mother answered.

And this man keeps fucking me, " Ohh, you feel very nice and tight,...
son,.... I love your hole,.... I love your tight asshole...." And he slam
his dick in me again, hard. My hole puff. The burns feelings is now
away. There is no feeling in my hole anymore. It just feels the fullness of
this man's dick inside it pushing in and out, pushing in and out.

I whined and cry, cry for my life, cry for my suffer, cry for my pity to my
mother who I never remember the looks, cry for my hates to My father who
caused me so much pain, cry for my brothers and sisters who never feels the
real love and life, cry for my regrets, cry for my sins, cry for my fright
of God, I cry and cry while my ass being fucked good and hard by this big
man. and I begged him to fuck me harder, to hurts me more.

And he fucked me harder, deeper,

" Ohh son, ...Your hole feels so nice,... it make s me,... ohh it makes
me... I almost there,... I love your hole, ..it feels nice, ..it feels so
tight,.. and you are so fuckable,... I love your hole, ....I love, your
hole...." He pushed forward hard and I feel him very deep in my hole, He
take out his dick to its head and I feel empty, and he pushed it back in
hard...

" Ohh son,.. you feel so nice and wet,.. you are so tight,.. your hole is
so nice I never fuck so nice hole before.... I love your hole son,... and I
will fuck it forever,.. I love it son, ..I almost come.... let me fuck you
till I come in you son,... let me fuck you,... Ohhhhh, so nice... so nice
son,.. ohhhhh, I almost come.... I almost come, Ohhhh !!! " He scream and
hugged me very tight, he pushed his dick powerfully the last time and he
stay still. I feel his dick pulse in me, and suddenly I feel my dick
explode too, I come !!! I come together with this man !! And he feel it, He
feel it that I am coming. he bites my neck and push forward very hard to
send the come spray from my dick. and It did. I cry Feelings my self
explode. and he kiss me on my mouth, on my eyes, on my cheek.

He try to controll his breath after everything was over. His body and mine
is wet and we stick as one. He still hugged me very tight from behind. His
dick is still hard and throbbing inside me. and My ass is sore but doesnt
feel really bad anymore with all the wetness it has.

We stay like that for about 20 minutes. His cock is still deep inside me
all the time. He loose a little of his hardness after he come, but his dick
is big, and my ass was very tight so his dick doesnt slip out from my
hole. After 20 minutes of rest he started to move his dick in and out of me
again. and its getting very hard again. so he repeat his ritual.

He is fucking me again. slowly this time. His slid his dick out of me
untill only the head is in, then slowly he slipped it all the way back
in. I can better feel all his movement inside me now. as the wetness of his
sperm inside me helps me feel it better. He fucked me again. and he loves
me. he loves my hole. He loves my small body against him. He loves my tight
hole. He fucked me again. Slowly. and he fuck me untill I dont feel it
anymore. And I fell a sleep. The next morning when I awake, the day is
already late. So I didnot plan to go to school. His dick is still in me,
soft.

Then when he noticed I am awake, he hugged me tighter against him. And he
push his dick in and out of me again, until its getting hard again. and he
fucked me again. And I love it now. After he finish, He left and I forgot
to ask his address. He never comeback.

After somedays I am waiting for him to return and love me again, and I
started to feel my hole is horny and begging to be fuck again, He never
showed up.

The wound in my hearts stretched deeper. But I dont want to be sentimental,
so I try to forget him. And I catch another man. but no one is as good as
him in fucking me. so I started to try to take 2 man home at once. While
the other one is fucking me, I sucked the other one. When the other one is
finished, the other one has to fucked me.

But I never satisfied. Now I dont feel the wound in my hearts anymore. I
still cry each time I think back about my life. I still feel I want to find
a love. But each days passed and I never feel happy and satisfied. So I
think my hearts is drying up. And I lost hopes.

In the meantime I can forget my hates to my father, eventhough I still wish
I will be able to get to know my mother better, but she's dead a long time
ago already so, what can I do ??

Now I am working too in a reach country, so I am able to help my brothers
and sisters.

But me ??? Who will help me ?? I am 28 now, and I still am handsome. I have
slim body, and soft skin. I am not sissy or girly, but I sometime dream to
dress for men who will make love to my body nicely and hard, and long. Man
who will help me forget my hurted hearts with his nice, deep and long fuck.

I even sometimes dream to be gangbang !!! Sex is now my weapon to shut the
hurts that I felt. I know it is bad but when no one understands my need and
my feelings, what should I do ?? I need to be love, but the feelings of
love in my hearts seems like dead already. I am happy when I get to know a
nice strong man with nice dick who will love to fuck me nice and long. and
take me to all the fantasies I have.

I need a nice man, I need a nice dick, Or do you have some more for my nice
hole and soul ??

Then write me,

abandanske@yahoo.de