Date: Wed,  2 Jun 2004 16:59:18 -0700
From: malou2003@hushmail.com
Subject: Malcolm Chapter 15

Be advised that in the following one will find graphic sexual
depiction between minors and minors and adults. The story is fiction
but based on real characters, events, places and situations. There is
no relationship between the names used and that of any real person.
Send comments to malou2003@hushmail.com.

Michael Peterson
MALCOLM


CHAPTER 15 - FALL1952

	My trip back from Camp McFarlane in my grandfather's Chrysler with
Freddy and Butch was somewhat relaxed, even happy. Freddy looked forward to
doing things with me at the stream. Butch wanted to meet my poor friends
across the boulevard from his well-to-do neighborhood.

     	But, beneath the bubbles there was apprehension. In a little over
four days, I'd be facing my father again, an unpleasant proposition
normally, but greatly complicated by the Washburn affair. Considering the
enormous amount of money my father would reap from it, one would think I'd
have had a more positive outlook. However, knowing my father's need to find
fault with me, there was the distinct possibility it would be turned
against me, become a cause for punishment and a blow up that I would
ultimately lose.

	The first stop was a White Tower Restaurant. Butch missed their
little burgers. We three boys ate three each plus fries and a sodas. My
grandparents had one and bought some fruit juice from a supermarket down
the street.

	Butch was taken home first. Only his maid was there to let him
in. Freddy and I left the trunk in his bedroom. It looked a bit like my
bedroom but had shelves of books, far more than mine. I was jealous. We
agreed to meet at ten the next morning at Edward's Supermarket. Freddy had
taken the day off but had to work the next day, the always busy Saturday.

	From there, we took my trunk to my house. Adelaide was there to let
us in. We hauled it up to my room. I showed everyone my 'jail door' as I
called the new doorway my father installed across the hall past the entry
to my bathroom.

	I took some clothes out of the trunk, handed them to my grandfather
and told him I'd bring whatever else I needed in a minute. I wanted to get
him out so I could get the cash out of the bottom of the trunk and hide
it. There was a lot but not the time to count it. I stuffed it and the note
of apology from Bert and the others into a pair of khaki pants and carried
it all out to the car.

	Finally at my grandparent's house, Freddy and I went straight to
our room to count my money, then did it again. I couldn't believe I'd
earned three hundred and eighty-one dollars. Freddy reminded me of the
three my grandfather had given me for naming three good things about my
father. I recalled I'd gone to camp with five dollars in my pocket and had
never spent a penny. By the time I was free to go to the store, it was all
courtesy of the camp. My ass and lips had made three hundred seventy-three
dollars. Freddy counted it again.

     	'I'm in the wrong job. You made almost a hundred more than me,
about eighty.' He shook his head. 'Whatta you gonna do with all this?'

	'I'm going to hide most of it in case I need it. And now I can buy
some stuff for Victor at school. He's a friend of mine. His parents don't
give him anything to spend. And get some stuff for myself, like more
baseball cards, or football cards now if they got 'em.'

	We went for a run around the neighborhood then came back and did
exercises in the alley, attracting the attention of two neighbor teens who
left angry when they couldn't do anything we were doing. I heard 'nigger'
as they walked away. We finished in the front hall.

	That evening, Freddy and I watched a little television then went
upstairs to read to one another from a short story book that Stanley from
my cabin had given me that morning as we were packing. Though I could still
hear the Negro accent, Freddy's speech was vastly changed from a year
earlier. He had worked hard but I continued to miss the easy flow his words
had had before. Every once in a while, though, the wonderful sound crept
back in. I got the impression the new speech patterns were forced.

	That night, we went to bed early, both wanting to be close. Freddy
lay naked on top of me, his face on my shoulder, his cock between my legs,
gently pumping.

	I kissed his cheek repeatedly. 'I love you, Freddy.'

	'I love you too, Maacum.'

	'I thought about you all the time at camp, thinking who I liked
best for sex but every time I knew that the sex wasn't the most important
thing when we have sex. It's what I feel like when you're with me. I love
to feel you on top of me like this.' I hugged him tightly. 'There's nobody
else in the world I want to be with like I do with you. I love you so
much.'

	He said nothing but kissed me on the lips briefly and hugged me for
a while. We fucked with him on my back then slept for a while. During the
night, we did it again then slept lying face to face in each other's arms
as I'd done with Georgie that last night.

	I went to work with Freddy in the morning. He had to be there at
eight thirty to help with the clean up before the nine o'clock opening.

	From there I went to Martin's house. Dickie opened the door and
jumped into my arms and shouted, 'Malcolm's here, Malcolm!'

	The girls ran to the front of the house first. The youngest giggled
while her older sister welcomed me with an almost shy, 'Oh. Hi Malcolm.'

	Mr. O'Malley shook my hand and his wife hugged me. Martin was at
Bobby's house working. Dickie didn't want me to go anywhere.

	'C'mere,' he said while dragging me to and up the stairs, 'I wanna
show you sumthin'.'

	He took me into the bedroom, closed the door, sat me on the bed,
pushed me back, fell on top of me and planted his mouth full on mine,
sucking at my lips, running his tongue over and between my teeth. He and
Martin had gone beyond sucking and fucking.

	His hips ground rapidly into my belly. I worried someone would walk
in the unlockable door.

	'Dickie,' I said after pulling loose of his lips, 'somebody might
come in, your sisters, anybody.'

	'No they won't. Let's do stuff.'

	'But, Dickie, it's daytime. People are all over and the door's
unlocked.'

	'Please, Malcolm. Martin hardly ever does it with me any more. It's
just Steven, Steven, Steven and he doesn't do anything, just sticks it in
me sometimes.'

	'But we can't do in here right now. People will see.'

	'Can we go to your house?'

	'Dickie, no, I can't go there now and it's too far. I'll come one
night.'

	'But I wanna do it now. Martin doesn't wanna do it with me any
more, just Steven.'

	His enthusiasm had me hot. His reason made me sympathetic. Seven
year olds weren't normally my thing but this little boy had a way of
exciting me. I wracked my brain for a safe place. 'Can you go out?'

	'Tell mom you want to take me with you to where Martin works. They
never let me go there.'

	That didn't sound very promising. 'You ask her.'

	'No, you. She always says no to me.'

	Dickie pushed his hand between us and found my erection. He
smiled. 'You want to, too.' He kissed me again.

	I noticed the chair at Martin's small desk and had an idea. 'Are
there any books downstairs that we can read?'

	'I don' wanna read. I wanna do sex.'

	'We can say we're reading.'

	He thought. 'I'll get one.'

	He dashed out the door. I heard his squeaky voice mention read to
his mother then his rapid footsteps on the stairs. He darted in and closed
the door. I put the chair under the handle and kicked each back leg once to
secure it. He was taking off his shoes when I turned around.

	'Don't take off your shoes. Just pull your pants down.' I opened
and lowered mine.

	He lay on me again kissing and fondling my stiff cock. I wanted to
move things quickly to the main event. I hoped it was just oral but
remembered how nice his tight little rear end felt. I pulled him around to
a sixty-nine position. He went immediately down on me. I sucked his chunky
two incher. He pumped hard into my face. I held his buns to slow him
down. He was doing a great job on me, putting his entire mouth to work. It
was almost like I was inside his rear end. He tugged on my thighs right
below my ass. I pumped slowly into his mouth. He rolled his head
around. Dickie had become very accomplished at this. My perineum felt like
it was glowing. I moved faster on his, difficult from under him. My cock
bloated. I came. I pressed his head tight to my crotch and turned us over
where I could do a more effective job on him. He responded. Seconds later,
his body straightened. He throbbed in my mouth.

	When his orgasm had run its course, I said, 'Dickie, I've gotta
go.'

	He pushed my cock out of his mouth with his tongue and asked, 'Can
you stay here tonight?'

	'I don't think so. I've got to stay at my grandparents all
weekend.' Sleeping with Martin and Dickie was always an erotic blast but I
wanted to be with Freddy.

	'When?'

	'I don't know. Maybe next weekend if my father lets me out.'

	I walked the five blocks to Bobby's and knocked on the door. Steven
opened it and shouted the same as Dickie, 'Malcolm's here!' He didn't jump
in my arms but did drag me by the arm toward the kitchen.

	Bobby got to me first. He wrapped his arms around me and gave a
ferocious French kiss. 'I hope you came to work,' he said with his hands on
his hips. Martin wanted to just hug. I told Steven to turn around and
sucked in his lips. All three wore aprons.

	Bobby rushed back into the kitchen. The rest of us followed. They
were preparing a sauce for a pasta meal Bobby had been hired to provide for
a birthday party.

	Bobby's mother was slicing vegetables on a long stainless steel
table against the wall where the rickety kitchen table had once stood. She
smiled and welcomed me.

      The kitchen had a second stove, a very commercial looking thing with
two ovens and heavy iron grates over the eight burners. There was a second
refrigerator, twice the size of the first. The old dish sink was gone and a
larger stainless steel double sink was in its place.
      
      'Gees, Bobby,' I said, 'how many jars do you sell a day?'
      
      'You mean of soup' About, uh, thirty-two yesterday. But we also sell
spaghetti sauce, different kinds of stews and pastas, and we're working on
some biscuits and rolls. I've got some dough in the fridge we're gonna bake
when I finish this. There's our price list on the table in the living room.
      
      There was a large stack of mimeographed price lists. They had his
telephone number at the bottom in large numbers. 'Whose telephone is this?'
I called out.
      
      'Mine, right behind you.'
      
      I looked around. There was a desk piled with papers on the opposite
side of the kitchen wall. A telephone hung on the wall above it beside a
calendar.
      
      I went back into the kitchen.
      
      Steven was washing his hands in the sink. 'I gotta go collect. Wanna
come?'
      
      'Money?'
      
      'No, jars and stuff.'
      
      'Go with him,' suggested Bobby, 'We're gonna be real busy here for a
while.'
      
      We pushed a large wheeled cart like an oversized grocery basket all
over the area. Suddenly, I remembered my appointment with Butch and rushed
off to Edward's. He was standing in front of the store looking like he
needed to pee.
      
      After I apologized, he said, 'I've gotta stay at my uncle's house for
a few days. My parents are in New York and they're going to fumigate the
house today.'
      
      He told me he'd call as soon as he got back.
      
      'You better let me call you. My father doesn't like anybody calling
me.'
      
      Butch ran across the boulevard and I caught up to Steven. We stopped
at a half dozen more houses, then pushed our load of jars back to Bobby's
where we washed them in steamy hot water in his new stainless steel
sink. Steven stood on a low stool, like the one I'd sat on to blow Charley
back at the McFarlane clinic. He scrubbed and I dried. The water he used
was really hot. I was surprised he could handle it.
      
      Bobby and Martin loaded up the birthday party pasta and drinks into
the cart. His mother, who I hadn't noticed wasn't there when we returned,
came into the house with a large birthday cake. Bobby, Martin and his
mother went off with the cart. Steven and I cleaned up the kitchen.
      
      'You guys do this every day?'
      
      'Sure. Well, more like today when we have a party or a dinner or
something. Everyday but Sunday. All we do Sunday is cook and fix stuff for
Monday. That's only two or three hours.'
      
      'You work seven days a week?'
      
      'Bobby does. We can only work four days a week, just thirty hours,
but we do more sometimes. Spike and this other girl work during the week
and sometimes Saturdays. Bobby's looking for somebody new for next week
when Spike and all of us go back to school. There's this guy but his mother
doesn't like him. He's always touching Bobby's ass.'
      
      Martin was back in fifteen minutes, Bobby fifteen after him. His
mother had stayed to help.
      
      'How much you making with this party?' I asked
      
      'All or profit?'
      
      'Profit.'
      
      'About twenty-two dollars.'
      
      That didn't seem like much with him paying Martin and Steve and
splitting it with his mother. 'And how much you have to pay these guys, and
your mother?'
      
      'That includes everybody's pay. The twenty-two is for me and I got
the afternoon sales to go and that'll be more. I did the party as a
favor. C'mon, I gotta do some baking.'
      
      Bobby was working seven days a week, ten hours most days, longer
Saturdays, just four Sundays.
      
      'How much do you make a week, for you?'
      
      'Aha! That's a secret,' he said as he took a pair of pots out of the
large refrigerator. 'But I gotta change the floor here and do some work on
the walls and install new drains so it's not all that much yet.'
      
      'What time do you get finished today?'
      
      'I have a couple of hours free to fuck you at about one thirty. I
know it's been a long time.'
      
      I pulled Bert's note of apology out of my pocket and held it in front
of his face. He read it.
      
      'So?' I got the impression he already knew and was prepared for me
telling him.
      
      'They pissed me off so I stopped letting them fuck me for a couple of
days.'
      
      He looked at the note again, then at me. 'How old?'
      
      'All but one older than me, five or six bigger than you. These
three,' I pointed to Bert, Horace and John's signatures, 'had big ones, a
lot bigger than yours. I made three hundred and seventy-three dollars off
'em.'
      
      'You whore, you didn't.' At least he hadn't known that.
      
      I smiled. 'When Georgie comes he's tell you about one day when I got
fucked eight times in a row.'
      
      He grinned. 'Now, that's bullshit.'
      
      'Just wait. Georgie'll be here in October, second weekend.'
      
      'You're crazy, boy. You must be shitting your pants all the time.'
      
      'Jealous?'
      
      'Of course not. I'm not crazy.'
      
      I smiled.

      'Okay, a little. Just don't tell me about it now or I'll fuck up
these biscuits.'
      
      He baked his biscuits and two pans of rolls. The rolls were nice, the
biscuits were better than my grandmother's.
      
      'You're going to be very rich one day,' I told him later in the
living room.
      
      'I hope so. Now, about all that fucking. No, first, let's go into the
bedroom. I've got to see.'
      
	Once the door was closed, I lowered my pants and briefs and lay
over the bed with my legs off the side. He spread my cheeks.

	'Hmm. You're lying about how big they were. Looks the same to me.'

	'Try your finger.'

	He stuck his finger in his mouth and pushed it inside me,
easily. 'Well, well. Maybe. Let's get naked and try.'

	'Lock the door.'

	'Don't worry. They all know the rules.'

	'What about your mother?'

	'She knows better.'

	'She knows what you do in here?'

	'Oh, Malcolm. She's always known. She doesn't like it but now that
I'm her boss, what's she gonna do?'

	Bobby had pubic hair. I played with it.

	'I was thinking of shaving it off but they say it'll just grow back
and be worse.'

	I lay on top of him and we kissed for a few minutes. He asked, 'Any
of 'em kiss as nice as me?'

	I almost said Larry but propriety intervened. 'No.'

	'Did any of them kiss?'

	'A few. Larry and Bert. Larry's just nine but Bert's thirteen and
almost a man. He's got one like this.' I held up my hands indicating his
five inches.

	'How many boys did you have sex with?'

	'Fourteen or fifteen, I think.'

	'And nobody knew?'

	'Lots of kids were doing sex there. We saw three of them jerking
off with one kid's sperm. They used to jerk off in the bathroom toilets all
the time. One kid did it in the shower every day.'

	'But how many were actually fucking?'

	'I don't know.'

	'How big was the biggest?'

	'There were two of them bigger than Bert. Almost like the big boys
you had in here.'

	'So I'm still the champ?'

	I kissed him some more. We did a little sixty-nine. I supposed his
cock had grown some but only noticed that fluffy pubic hair ringing the
base of his cock with a small tuft over the top. Bobby wanted to get
inside.

	'I fucked Martin once back in June or July but he said it
hurt. He's used to that little thing Steven has. I really need this.'

	He pushed slowly in. 'Oh, this is wonderful. Your ass is still
great, Malcolm. Oh!'

	He lay on me and fucked for a while then stopped and pulled my face
to his. We kissed. He moved his ass back and forth, wobbling his cock side
to side in my rectum. He knew what felt good. In another year or so, I
expected to be able to do the same for him.

	He started pumping again, moving his ass up and down as he did,
running his cockhead across my prostate. I gripped his hands and kissed
them. He pulled loose and pushed a hand under me. He was getting close and
wanted to take me with him.

	'Oh Malcolm,' he moaned. He masturbated me slowly. His thrusts
became sharper, his breathing heavier. His hand moved faster on my cock. I
came. He said, 'Oh Malcolm,' again and throbbed inside me.

	There was sweat dripping from between us, making me scratch my
sides.

      'God, I needed that,' said Bobby. 'Lemme see that letter again?'

	'It's in my shirt pocket on the chair.'

	'Then later. I wanna stay like this for a month.'

	We did until Martin knocked on the door. A customer wanted to talk
to him.

	'Shit, business.'

	I lay naked on the bed while he pulled on his shirt, pants and
shoes. Martin and Steven came in as he walked out. They laughed quietly.

	'First sex in almost three months, huh?'

	'Nope, since day before yesterday.'

	He pressed for details. I gave up some but didn't mention
prostituting myself or the assembly line sex.

	Bobby came back in with a paper in his hand. 'I've gotta shower and
work. You guys too.'

	They had an order for a Sunday party requiring a large amount of
spaghetti sauce. Bobby's took over twenty-four hours to prepare. I showered
with him.

	'You going to be busy all day tomorrow?' I asked as he washed my
back and behind.

	'Til about two. Then I'm free until Tuesday. Wanna fuck some more'
I'm sure Robert would be happy to see you. And Spike. He is my employee but
I'll lend him to you. Actually, tomorrow might be his last day unless I
can't get someone full time. Mother doesn't like Benny and I don't have
anybody else.'

	'What are you going to pay?' I had an idea. 'I know a great cook
who's working as a maid but if you offer her more, maybe she'll come with
you.'

	'Who?'

	'Freddy's mother.'

	'That's your little Negro friend?'

	'She was our maid for a while and I eat a lot at her house. She's a
great cook.'

	'When can I talk to her?'

	'Freddy gets off late today, at eight, but he can ask her
tomorrow. Maybe she can come over here then.'

	'Do it.'

	In the morning, Freddy and I showered and went to early Mass with
my grandparents then took the streetcar to the turnaround and went over the
bridge and down to the stream. We planned to be at his mother's house when
they came back from church and tell her of Bobby's offer.

  	The hideout was coming apart as he'd said. A lot of work was going
down the drain but the reason for the hideout didn't seem as urgent. If I
had to take off from my house, there were places to go for a few days at a
time like Martin's and Bobby's houses. I could probably even go to
Georgie's.

	The duffle bag was still there but with both the sleeping bag and
blankets clean and folded. Freddy had seen to that in June.

	'I tried to just leave 'em out overnight thinkin' the air might
help but they stunk just as bad so I took 'em to mama and she soaked 'em a
couple days which is why they're not the same color any more, and then she
washed 'em and dried 'em. I folded 'em up real neat. Smell good, don't
they?'

	They did. We got naked and played like we'd done since we were six,
making things with rocks and sticks in the stream then climbing the tree
and sitting in our little look out, looking out over the forest around us,
talking about our futures.

	Freddy called my grandfather Uncle George. 'Uncle George says I can
study anything I want when I go to college. I was thinking about being an
engineer, the kind designs buildings and big bridges. What're you gonna
study in college?'

	I'd never really considered it. My life seemed so tenuous at times
I wasn't sure I wouldn't end up like some of the kids over Martin's and
Bobby's way, out of school at fourteen. One of the problems with running
away was exactly that. It would be the end of my education. Although I
hadn't fully analyzed why, it also meant I'd never make a lot of money. The
best would be a life like Martin's father, working hard for someone else
and earning a salary that allowed me to have a simple house and car. 'I
dunno. Depends if I ever go to college.'

	'You gotta go to college, Maacum or you're gonna end up poor like
Mike's family. He's one of the boys works with me at Edward's. His father
paints houses so he can only work when it's not too cold, about eight
months a year. His mother's got six other kids to look after. Mike's the
oldest, and he's only fourteen, almost fifteen, in November like you, I
think.'

	'Depends on what kinda shit my father pulls with me. I'm not
staying in that house if he locks me up again or starts trying to beat me
for nothing.'

	'He ain't gonna beat on you any more. You're too strong for
that. And if he locks you up, you gotta key. Just go out. Fuck 'im. You
gotta go to school. You need to listen to Uncle George. Just a few more
years and you can just leave the son-of-a-bitch and go live with him. He'll
make sure you go to school and college.'

	'That's what everybody says. Just a few more years but none of you
have to live with him. A few years is over four years, a long time. I can't
stand him if he stays like he was last year, not even for a few
weeks. Shit! I don't wanna go back there. He's gonna get a whole bunch of
money from Washburn. Why can't he just take it all, even what he's supposed
to give me, and just leave me alone, let me live with my grandparents or
you?'

	We went back across the stream and lay on the blankets. I lay on my
side with one leg over Freddy's middle and stared at his face.

	'What are you looking at?'

	'The way your face is. I really like it.' I ran my fingers across
his forehead and nose and lips. 'You're very handsome, Freddy.'

	He smiled. 'I ain't gonna let you go kissing me.'

	I crawled on top of him. 'Think you can stop me?'

	'I'll bite you if you try,' he giggled.

	'Get your teeth ready 'cause here I come.'

	I lowered my face slowly to his then went fast for a lip to lip
kiss. Our lips brushed as he turned his head away. I chomped down on his
ear. 'How you like this?' I asked between my teeth.

	He reached between and grabbed my balls. 'How you like that. You
bite hard and I'll squeeze.'

	'What if I bite soft?'

	'I suppose I'll squeeze soft.'

	I sucked on his ear. He wiggled his fingers on my balls then
stopped. 'Go a little lower.' I did. 'That feels kinda ticklish but good.'
He pulled my face tighter against his head. I sucked in the bottom half of
his ear and stuck my tongue inside.

	His dick got hard.

	I did some of what I'd done with Georgie, licking and sucking my
way under his chin, across his throat, down to his nipple and up under his
arm. He raised his arm and said, 'Yeah, Maacum, there.'

	I sucked in the soft flesh there and licked him clean of salty
sweat. He raised his other arm as I licked across his chest. His cock
pressed into my tummy. I couldn't wait any longer and slid down to it,
taking it in as I went, going right down to his balls. They were nearly the
size of marbles and felt nice in their fluffy sack.

	He pushed up into my mouth. My lower lip ran against his puffed
perineum. He began pumping. I moved back up and enjoyed the feel of his
thickening shaft. Freddy took hold of my head and moved it back and forth
as he fucked my mouth. I sucked in hard and cradled his shaft in my
tongue. He became more passionate, putting more of his body into each
thrust. He came suddenly, pulsing strongly. Within a year, maybe sooner,
he'd be giving my some of his protein soup. I hugged him.

	'Maacum. It's almost one. We gotta go.'

	I looked at his watch. I should have humped his leg or something.

	'Jerk me off first.'

	He sat up. I slipped between his legs and leaned into him. He held
me with one arm and masturbated me with the opposite hand. I reached back
and held his head to mine. I came quickly.

	His mother was home when we arrived. She hugged me and tried to
pick me up.

	'Lord, boy, how much you weigh?'

	'Ninety-six pounds.'

	'Well, I cain't lift you up no mo'. You two is growin'.'

	I told her of Bobby's business and his need for a full time person.

	'Well, I can talk ta him but first we gonna eat.'

	We left a little before three with our tummies happy and full but
didn't get to Bobby's until four fifteen. Robert along with Simon was there
waiting for me. I shook my head and glanced at Aunt Martha. Robert appeared
crushed.

	Bobby went into the kitchen with Freddy's mother. She was very
impressed with all the equipment he had.

	'How old is you, boy?'

	'Thirteen, almost fourteen.'

	'An' you done all this yo'self?'

	Bobby smiled. They discussed money and came to an agreement. Aunt
Martha promised to start a week from the next day, Labor Day. They talked
for another half an hour.

      We sat in the living room with Robert and Simon. I sat tight against
Freddy. Robert didn't seem to even notice Freddy was there. Simon, though,
asked, 'Who's he?'

	Freddy was already part of the neighborhood. His mother would be
working there. There was no reason to hide anything. 'He's Freddy, my best
friend, that lady's son.'

	The expression on Simon's face was difficult to translate, a little
confusion perhaps. Freddy smiled and held out his hand. Robert was closer
and took it. Simon, out of reach, scratched his head, stood up, and shook
it too. I took a deep breath.

	'Your mother gonna work here?' asked Robert.

	'Yeah. I work at Edward's.'

	'How much they pay?' asked Simon.

	'Just five a week but we make about twenty-five a week tips.'

	'Hmmm.'

      I promised to come the next day after lunch. Freddy was off and I
wanted to spend more time with him. He would come with me in the afternoon.
      
      I called my grandfather and got permission to stay at Freddy's for
the night. All the way home on the trolley then streetcar, Aunt Martha
talked about Bobby. She was very impressed by him.
      
      'He's like you, ain't he, Maacum?' she asked out of the blue.
      
      Freddy laughed.
      
      I smiled and poked him in the ribs.
      
      Douglas and two others came over. We played checkers until
bedtime. Douglas was good and won most of the games.
      
      Freddy and I had both grown since the last time we'd slept in his
bed. It was tighter, fine with me. Freddy had another idea.
      
      'Let's go sleep by the stream. Douglas got a flashlight.'
      
      It wasn't as soft but certainly more erotic. Freddy made a fire. We
sat naked inside the blanket, talking until eleven then crawled into the
sleeping bag and made love. Freddy fucked me three times before we left the
sleeping bag at nearly nine the next morning. I felt better than I had in a
very long time.
      
      Aunt Martha was a little put out with us for coming home after
everyone else had eaten their breakfast. We admitted talking until
late. She looked at us lovingly and fried eggs and potatoes.
      
      It was drizzling when we set out for the streetcar turnaround,
pouring by the time we got there, soaking us to the skin. We had to walk in
the rain to Bobby's. It was warm so the only problem was my shoes. Freddy
had on sneakers.  Mine were leather. We took them off when we arrived and
hung them on the back of his old refrigerator on the warm coil there.
      
      There was sauce left over from Sunday so Bobby made spaghetti for
us. It was delicious. Robert and Simon showed up with Spike as we were
cleaning the plates. Spike immediately knew what we'd eaten.
      
      'Shit, Bobby, why didn't you save some for me?'
      
      'You didn't say you were coming.'
      
      'But I worked with you yesterday.'
     
      Bobby turned and put his hands on his hips.
      
      Spike muttered, 'Shit.'
      
      I watched him to see how he'd accept Freddy. He walked over to me and
felt my arms one at a time. 'Damn, Malcolm,' was all he said.
      
      'Wanna fight?' I asked with a grin.
      
      'Shit, I can still beat you easy.' He shot two soft blows into my
middle. 'See?'
      
      I hugged him and asked, 'Who's first?'
      
      Bobby said, 'Don't answer 'til you hear his price.'
      
      Robert said disappointedly, 'Price?'
      
      'He's kidding,' I said.
      
      Robert grabbed my arm and pulled me toward the bedroom with one hand
while unbuttoning his shirt with the other.
      
      He'd grown some over the months since we'd been together, even had a
small bush of pubic hair. Everybody around me was growing, but not me.
      
      He was as good as I remembered. It was all I could do to keep from
cumming. Spike pushed in front of Simon who stood in the door for a moment
then left us alone.
      
      Spike had grown too but still had no pubic hair. As usual, he wanted
to be blown.
      
      'How come you don't like to fuck?' I asked him.
      
      'You know, I just like it better this way.'
      
      'How do you know' You never tried it the other way.'
      
      'C'mon, Malcolm. Just blow me.'
      
      It was nice. His four inches was a perfect mouthful and nice and
thick. After a few moments, he said, 'That nigger's your friend, Freddy,
right?'
      
      I lifted off him. 'He's not a nigger, he's a Negro.'
      
      'Okay. He do this with you too' You blow him?'
      
      'That's none of you business.'
      
      He looked around the room then asked, 'He bigger than white kids,
down here?'
      
      'Same.' I sucked on his fat glans.
      
      'He fuck you?'
      
      'Spike! None of your business.'
      
      'Shit, I'm not gonna say nothin'.'
      
      'You know what I answer when people ask me what I do with you?'
      
      'Everybody knows what you do with me.'
      
      'Well, if they didn't, I'd tell them none of their business.' I
sucked on him some more.
      
      'He gonna bring any of his friends around here?'
      
      'Yeah, me. Shut up Spike or I'll never finish and Simon will come in
and kill you.'
      
      'Simon can't beat me.'
      
      'If you don't shut up I'll bite you.'
      
      He laughed and shut up.
      
      His cock delivered some sweet juice. I sucked it all out.
      
      Handsome Simon's cock had grown too. His long, slim, five incher was
now longer and thicker. I walked out naked and requested some cooking oil
then jumped behind a chair. Bobby had a male visitor. He had the teenager's
cock out through his fly and was running his hand all over the man sized
tool. He smiled proudly and got me some oil.
      
      When I closed the door, I asked Simon to stand up on the bed. I
compared him in my mind to Charley at McFarlane. My camp customer had a
prettier face but Simon had the better body. Those pecs drove me
wild. After I oiled him up and wiped off my hands with toilet paper from
the roll beside the bed, I lay on my back, raised my knees to my ribs and
said, 'Like this.'
      
      He seemed a bit unsure how to do it. I showed him. He pushed full in
the moment his head popped inside. The view was incredible. Every muscle in
the front of his torso moved as he fucked me. His long cock put every nerve
ending inside my rectum into a high state of excitement. Oh, how I wished I
could have sucked on those chest muscles while he pushed into me. I could
see it was hard work for him but he didn't complain. I caressed his sides,
back and buns then ran my fingertips over his flexing abdominal
muscles. His head was lowered, his hair hanging loose as he watched with me
his long shiny cock slide in and out of my hole. I felt my orgasm coming up
from deep inside my rectum. It seemed to grow inside before shooting out
and up my perineum into my cock. I shook. He pumped harder as my sphincter
gripped and released him repeatedly. He sounded like he was humming for a
moment. He slammed deep into me. I felt the throbbing as streams of sperm
shot into me. I tugged on his hips. He never took his eyes off where we
were joined until he fell to his knees and slowly slipped out.
      
      He looked at me and smiled. 'You came too, din't ya?'
      
      I nodded.
      
      'Yeah, I felt it.'
      
      He dressed. I walked out naked with my clothes over my shoulders and
my shoes hanging off my fingers. Freddy looked at me and shook his head.
      
      'See what I gotta put up with?' he told Spike. They'd been talking.
      
      I put on my undershirt and sat on the other side of Freddy from
Spike. Simon went into the kitchen, probably in hopes of being fed. Freddy
explained to me that the boy who had taken Doug's job at Edward's wasn't
allowed by his parents to work during school time so there was an
opening. Spike was interested.
      
      Before I could say a word, Bobby stuck his head out of the bedroom
door.
      
      'Malcolm, c'mere a minute.'
      
      He pulled me inside and closed the door. The teen was lying on the
bed with his pants off, shirt on, playing with his big erection. Bobby was
completely naked. It was amazing how fast he could disrobe.
      
      'He says I can fuck you while he fucks me but you gotta be on the
bottom.'
      
      The boy was nearly a man. He must have weighed a hundred and sixty
pounds. 'You'll crush me.'
      
      'Try it. If we're too heavy, you can get out and I'll suck you off.'
      
      'Simon already took care of me.'
      
      Bobby's opened wide. 'He sucked you?'
      
      'No, silly, I came when he was fucking me.'
      
      'Come on. Try this.' He pulled me to the bed. I lay down. He poured
some oil on his fingers and wiped it on his cock. He pushed easily in where
Simon had been. My hole was a bit tender. I could feel the motion of the
teen inserting into Bobby. His hands pressed into the bed on either side of
us. He stayed up and pumped slowly but hard. Bobby had to be in heaven with
a big cock up his ass and his buried in me, being punched deeper inside
with each thrust of his impaler.
      
      Then the teen lay down. I sank into the mattress. Bobby kissed my
cheek, probably hoping that would mollify me now that I was under two
hundred and fifty pounds of excited boyhood. It wasn't too bad and I
enjoyed the thought of what was going on above me. Bobby had to be close to
orgasm.
      
      The action went on and on. The teen was taking his time, pausing
occasionally, prolonging his fun. The tenderness in my ass disappeared. My
cock was ready to go when he started ramming Bobby into me harder and
faster. He grunted a few times then stopped. I felt Bobby
throbbing. Somehow, he'd held himself until the teen came.
      
      'Fuck me, Bobby,' I pleaded. I was right on the edge.
      
      He said, 'Wait.'
      
      The teen lifted off us. Bobby said, 'Let's turn over. I'll do you
like before.'
      
      We rolled over. The teen had gone into the bathroom.
      
      'Turn around.'
      
      I knew what he planned and revolved on his cock until my feet were on
either side of his head. He pushed my legs apart, reached for my shoulders
to pull himself up. I raised up best I could. Gradually, he doubled over
until he had my cock head in his mouth. He rocked forward and down until
his lips were nearly on my pelvis. I took a deep breath. This was going to
be quick. I held his head where it was and slid my ass ever so slightly
back and forth, moving his cock back and forth across my prostate. That's
all it took. I fell back and shook as orgasm overtook me. He released my
cock and sat up, grinning.
      
      The teen stood in the bathroom door watching us.
      
      Bobby looked at him and asked, 'Don't you wish you could do that?'
      
      He smiled and answered, 'Nah.'
      
      Freddy and I made it back to my grandparent's house by six for
dinner. Afterwards, my grandfather sat me down in the living room to
discuss how he felt it would be the best for me to behave the next day with
my father.
      
      'Your grandmother and I are going to meet them at the train station
at twelve-thirty and invite them out for lunch. Even if he refuses our
invitation as I suspect he will, I'll find a way to discuss the Washburn
situation with him. I've everything written down for him to read including
what you and your friends have said happened. I want you to read it over
and be sure it is correct.
      
      'Then, when you two talk tomorrow as I am sure you will, you must not
argue with him about anything, even if he interprets things differently
than how they happened.'
      
      'What if he says it was all my fault' He..'
      
      My grandfather cut me off. 'Malcolm, you can't gain anything by
arguing with him. Just be patient. He is going to receive a lot of money,
money he needs. Whatever he says tomorrow could change by the next
morning. You mustn't argue with him.'
      
      In the back of my head still festered the idea that my father might
well be responsible for my homosexuality. The Washburn affair was
homosexual. I was certain he would bring that up. 'What if he starts
calling me a fag' What am I supposed to do then?'
      
      'Nothing. Ignore it.'
      
      That was the fundamental theme of what he wanted me to do. Just stand
there while my father said whatever he was going to say and be silent other
than required yes, sirs and no, sirs.  I wasn't convinced I could do that.
      
      I read over the two pages my grandfather had written. It was as
accurate as possible. There were no exaggerations but it did have a few
lines at the end calling Washburn's actions 'rape' and about the 'terrible
damage' done to the two boys. I handed it back to him with a shrug.
      
      In bed, Freddy followed up on my grandfather's admonitions.
      
      'Please don't fight with your father. Something terrible can happen.'
      
      He let me kiss him on the lips, even kissed back briefly, mouth
closed. There was no real sex that night but a lot of hugging. Freddy was
afraid he might lose me. I was determined that would not happen.
      
      Freddy fell asleep. I kissed his cheek and wondered what our
relationship would have been like if my father hadn't made me into a
homosexual. I more and more accepted Georgie's position that people
couldn't be born as I was. Something had to make them that way. Since I was
sticking things in my butt when I was three, it had to be like Master
Gorman told me that German doctor said. Because of how my father treated me
when I was really little, I wanted to be like my mother, liking men instead
of women, or, in my case then, boys instead of girls.
      
      I tried to remember how long after Freddy and I met that he fucked me
the first time then chucked that aside as unimportant. We'd gotten along
immediately, and there hadn't been anyone else to play with. If I hadn't
been homosexual we'd still have become good friends and I wouldn't have had
to worry about being a hate target for the likes of Paul Simpson from my
class. I wouldn't have to hide my sexual desires from anyone. And, if Bert
was right, I wouldn't be having all these problems with my hateful father.
      
      So there it was, the son-of-a-bitch had made me what I was, what he
hated so much. I was the one, not him, who was going to have to live out my
life as a pariah, a faggot hated by most of the world. It was his fault,
not mine, but he was constantly punishing me for what he'd done.
      
      I squeezed Freddy to me. 'Son-of-a-bitch!' I growled several times in
a row, tears of frustration and fury falling.
      
      Freddy stirred. 'Maacum? Huh?'
      
      I kissed his cheek.
      
      'Wha's wrong, Maacum?'
      
      'I don't wanna go home.' I took a deep breath in an attempt to hold
my tears at bay. 'He made me this way. It's his fault, not mine but I'm the
one getting punished all the time.'
      
      Freddy held me tightly but said nothing. Then he kissed my damp
cheek. 'Please don' run away, Maacum.'
      
      We talked about it all though neither addressed the concerns of the
other. Freddy warned me that running away would make it worse, that we'd
never be able to see each other. I insisted I wouldn't be able to handle my
father's abuse for something he caused. Worried sleep came eventually. The
bed was damp beneath us in the morning. I awakened first. We lay side by
side, our arms around each other, legs entwined, sweat dripping from where
our bodies were pressed together. Our faces touched, mine slightly above
Freddy's, his breath warming my left cheek. I extended my lips and kissed
the side of his mouth. He tightened his grip on me and squeezed his legs
against mine. Our erections were against each other's pelvis though caused
by the normal early morning injection of testosterone rather than any
sexual desire.
      
      After breakfast and a short lecture on the negative affects of
fighting with my father, I bundled up my money in some dirty clothes and
took the streetcar with Freddy to the turnaround. At first, I though to
hide the cash in the barn but then decided to stash it in my room where it
would be more accessible if I had to get away quickly. I joined Freddy by
the stream. He was back on the school year work schedule: Tuesdays,
Thursdays and Fridays four to eight and Saturdays eight thirty to eight
with an hour each off for lunch and dinner. I planned to go with him to
Martin's for lunch and then hang at Bobby's until five, getting home for
dinner, putting off meeting my father as long as possible.
      
      For something to do, we cleaned out some of the fallen ceiling from
our abandoned hideout. We stripped naked to avoid dirtying our
clothes. There was mud everywhere. The worst of the pollution had been
cleaned out of the stream by the rain so we could wash off there. Without
tools, it was an especially dirty job. After an hour of throwing rocks and
hands full of mud down the hill, it was difficult to tell which of us was
the Negro. Then we began tossing mud balls at each other.
      
      The stream water was cold. Our balls shriveled into patches under our
equally reduced cocks. We hastily got a fire going and hung our butts over
it. I got the duffle bag down and laid out the sleeping bag. We made up for
the lack of sex the previous night.
      
      Knowing we'd be too late for lunch at Martin's, I bought cakes and a
bottle of milk at the supermarket. We ate and drank on the streetcar. The
driver gave us dirty looks all the way to our transfer point.
      
      We spent an hour at Martin's talking about return to school the next
day. Before he left for work, Freddy took me to Martin's bedroom and
insisted I not fight with my father. He kissed me on the lips then hugged
me for a long time.
      
      'I love you, Maacum.'
      
      Martin and I went to Bobby's. Trying to keep my mind off the imminent
confrontation with my father, I washed jars Steven brought back and helped
pack biscuits Bobby was sending out as samples with the evening's
deliveries.
      
      Five o'clock came. I walked home, all the way prepping myself to say
nothing no matter how abusive my father might become. At the bottom of the
big hill down from Martin's part of town, I began running and didn't stop
until I was up and over the hill past my house. Seeing my father's car
parked in front made me want to continue on, putting off what was becoming
the increasingly frightening prospect of dealing with anticipated abuse.
      
      I walked up the back yard from the street below. There didn't appear
to be anyone in the living room. I went through the back door. Adelaide was
in the kitchen. She greeted me cheerily, then, 'Dinner'll be on the table
in about fifteen minutes so you got time to wash up.'
      
      Sweat was dripping off me. I went to my bedroom and took off my shirt
and undershirt. My father called me from his den. I took a deep breath and
walked to it and stood in the doorway. He was holding the papers my
grandfather had prepared for him.
      
      'You want to tell me what you've gotten into this time?'
      
      I wasn't sure what to say. 'It's all in there.' I nodded my chin at
the papers.
      
      'I want to hear it from you.'
      
      That hadn't been contemplated. I told him a short version of what I'd
read in our statements. Georgie and I had stumbled across Washburn hurting
Michael. He chased us but Harry and Barney jumped him and chased him off.
      
      'So a couple of twelve year olds and a weak eleven your old chased
off a full grown man?'
      
      'Yes, sir. There were four of us and Harry had a big stick.'
      
      'Why didn't you tell camp officials or call the police immediately?'
      
      'We were scared. His father's a United States senator.'
      
      'But a year later, when it's just you and this Georgie and you're
upset at being moved to a different cabin, you weren't scared any more.'
      
      I remained silent.
      
      'Well, Malcolm, I'll tell you what I think happened. I think you five
kids were involved in some homosexual games and Master Washburn caught
you. Maybe he participated, maybe not, but, for some reason, he didn't
report you. Then, this year, Director Walpole moves you to make space for
another boy and you get upset because you can't be with your homosexual
partner Georgie. So you two cook up this cock and bull story. Then this
older kid and the parents of your homosexual friends saw a chance for a big
score. And now, thanks to your grandfather who believes all this crap of
yours, I've been dragged into this mess. Sound about right?'
      
      'No, sir.' I trembled but said no more.
      
      'What about what I said isn't right?'
      
      'All of it.'
      
      'You've got balls, boy. I'll give you that. Well, you just think
about this. You've probably ruined the life of the Washburn boy. And, smart
guy, you might have ruined our life too. If that senator, who happens to be
on the Intelligence Sub Committee so he can affect me, finds out, as he
probably will, that I'm a defense contractor, that will be the end of your
private school and private camp and your nice house because I'll be out of
work. So your clever little plan wasn't so clever, huh?'
      
      'It wasn't a plan. Washburn hurt Michael and Barney. He was the one
who made them move me so I couldn't be near Georgie. They wouldn't even let
me leave the cabin most of the time. He wanted to hurt us for making him
leave camp last year. He made it so Michael and Harry and Barney couldn't
come back this year.'
      
      'Then why did he let you two come back?'
      
      'He didn't know our names until he saw us when we came in June.'
      
      'That is?' He shook his head angrily. 'Just go to your room and stay
there.'
      
      'Why? I didn't do anything wrong.'
      
      'Damn you, boy, you did everything wrong. You are one evil little
faggot. Go to your room and don't come out until I call you tomorrow.'
      
      I headed for my room then his last remark worried me. I turned
back. 'I've got to go to school tomorrow.'
      
      'You're changing schools.'
      
      My stomach turned to ice. 'Why?'
      
      'I warned you not to cause any more problems. You did, a really big
one. Now, go to your room.'
      
      'What school?'
      
      'Norris Academy in Ohio. It's military. Maybe they can make a man out
of you.'
      
      'You're crazy. I'm not going!'
      
      'Listen to me you little faggot, you've screwed my life up for the
last time. I've given you everything?'
      
      'You're the one who made me a faggot, you son-of-a-bitch!'
      
      He got out of his chair.
      
      'You weren't mad at me about Freddy. You were always mad because your
son was a homosexual. Well, you made me the way I am by being a lousy
shitty father.'
      
      He came at me and tried to grab me. I knocked his hands away.
      
      'Don't touch me!'
      
      'Go to your room!'
      
      'You're the bad one. You go to your room!' I turned. He pushed me
forward. I swung around fists cocked.
      
      'You're pathetic. With all your muscles you're still a sissy. Get
moving.'
      
      I wanted to do what my grandfather had said. I knew it was the best,
the right thing to do. But I couldn't back down. Hatred was in charge of my
body. I stood there.
      
      'You think you're too big for my belt?' He began taking it off.
      
      There were no weapons nearby except in my room, well past the door he
could lock. I straightened up and stared him in the eye.
      
      He folded the belt and gripped it. 'Move, boy.'
      
      I stood my ground. I was too far along the railing above the stairs
to jump over. It was too much of a drop at that point. He swung the belt at
my middle. I charged him, ramming my shoulder right above his groin. He
stumbled backward. I turned around and headed out the door toward the
stairs. He put his arm around my neck and yanked upward. I kicked back into
his legs and swung a fist up at his face. He blocked my fist but took the
kick. He squeezed tighter. I couldn't breathe. I grabbed the railing and
kicked again. He pulled hard. My throat felt like it was buckling. I let go
of the railing with one hand and elbowed him in the ribs. His arm
loosened. I elbowed him again and again. He tried to switch arms on my
neck. I broke loose and headed for the top of the stairs.
      
      He reached out and pushed me from behind. My weight was too far
forward. I fell but held on to the railing. He caught up to me and hit me
on the side of the head, ramming my face into the railing. I turned over
and kicked at him. He moved out of the way and hit me in the head again. I
fell to the floor, one hand still on the railing, but kept kicking wildly,
furiously screaming 'son-of-a-bitch' at the same time. He kicked back,
catching me in the leg with his first, then missing my leg and getting me
square on the jaw. Lights flashed in my head. I fell limp to the floor. I
heard and felt him grab me but everything visual was blurred. I forgot what
was going on for a moment. By the time I realized I needed to fight, he'd
thrown me on the floor. A door slammed shut and a lock was turned.
      
      I got to my hands and knees. It was dark and silent. I heard the back
screen door swing closed. It couldn't have been my father. It was too
fast. I thought about that for a while before a sharp pain in the side of
my head focused me on my body. I hurt in a number of places, though the
side of my head was the worst. I tried to get to my feet but a pain in my
right thigh negated that. I crawled to my bed and on top of it.
      
      Murder entered my mind. I hurt too much to fight then, but later,
when he was asleep, I'd get the biggest knife from the kitchen and stab him
a hundred times. Some time later, I heard the lock on the door being
opened. It was mother. Apparently, she'd been out.
      
      'Malcolm,' she called as she came down the short hall. She turned on
the light and knelt beside the bed, looking me over. 'Are you hurt?
Malcolm?'
      
      I turned my face to her and stared. Her expression of worry didn't
change so my face didn't look too bad no matter how much it hurt.
      
      'Why must you fight with him? You know you'll just get hurt.'
      
      'He wants to send me to school in Ohio.'
      
      'Wait here.' She stormed out of the room. Seconds later, I heard them
arguing. The den door slammed quickly. I couldn't tell what they were
saying.
      
	I sat up. I had a terrible headache. I went into the bathroom and
put my head under the tub faucet and turned on the cold water. I shivered
for a moment but it helped. I sat on the floor and took off my shoes and
pants. Maybe the cold water would help my thigh too. It did but by freezing
me more than anything else. I was soon out of the tub and back on my
bed. There was no noise coming from my father's den. He was convincing my
mother he was right. There was only one thing left to do.

	I dressed quickly and pulled out my knapsack then filled it with
two sets of clothes plus another set of underwear, socks and the shoes that
I'd taken off and replaced with sneakers. I found my flashlight and canteen
and cook kit then got the three hundred and sixty dollars out of its hiding
place in my desk. I looked around to see if there was anything else. I got
my library card out of the desk and the papers with names, addresses and
telephone numbers. My thigh hurt as I walked down the back stairs to the
kitchen. I stopped as I went down the back stairs to the pantry and went
back for the large butcher knife and stuffed it in with my clothes. I
noticed Adelaide wasn't there. The dinner was ready to be carried out to
the dining room. She'd been the one I heard going out the back door. He'd
lost another maid. I cut off a piece of meat loaf, grabbed two rolls and
went out the back door. The light was on in his den. He was standing in the
middle of the room. I pointed my hand at him like a gun and went 'pow'.

	Freddy's seemed like the logical first stop so he'd know what had
happened but that would be the first place they'd look when they realized I
was gone. Waiting at the streetcar turnaround would also be risky so I went
across the tracks and to the far side of the big bridge. My leg was
becoming more painful than my head. There I waited for a streetcar from
behind a truck in the gas station.

	My grandfather would want me to return home and try to work things
out, an impossible task. My mother would almost certainly call
Martin's. That left Bobby's. On the way, I remembered something Francis had
told me a year earlier. I needed to speak to him. Martin could arrange
that. Bobby's front door was slightly open when I arrived. He and Martin
were cleaning up the kitchen. Both were surprised to see me. Bobby appeared
to understand the meaning of the backpack.

	'What happened?'

	We sat in the living room. I told them.

	Martin asked, 'If you run away, what are you going to do about
school?'

	'I don't know but I'm not going to Ohio.'

	Bobby said, 'You can stay here for a few days but the cops are
gonna ask around and sooner or later somebody's gonna tell 'em you come
here.'

	I asked Martin to bring Francis to me the next day after school.

	After Martin had left, I asked Bobby, 'Don't you know some big kid
from the Westside of the city.'

	'I knew one but I haven't seen him for a while. That's not a bad
idea. Nobody knows you over there but you can't go out during school hours
no matter where you go.'

	He offered me some food.

	'Thanks, I ate some from our kitchen.'

	'Malcolm, you sure you wanna do this? You're just eleven. How're
you gonna eat. Nobody's gonna wanna keep you for long. They can be charged
with kidnapping, I think. Even if they can't get kidnapping, there's gotta
be something they'll be charged with. Your old man's gonna go after you.'

	'Then I'll kill myself. I'm not going back to him. Ever.'

	Suicide had entered my mind briefly before but I surprised myself
actually saying it. Could I do that? Bert and his friends survived in
boarding schools. But, they weren't happy. From what they'd said, it was a
horrible place for someone like me, especially a military one. No, boarding
school was not something I'd accept. Whether I could kill myself or not was
an open question.

	Bobby moved close and embraced me. 'Never talk like that. I'll take
care of you if I have to.'

	His mother wasn't living with him. She'd found a man to live with
and came to work at the house. We went to bed and made tentative love. Try
as he could, Bobby couldn't take to orgasm. We were both worried where all
this was leading.

	In the morning, I helped prepare soup and the sauce for coleslaw.

	Steven came at three fifteen to get the cart and make his
pickups. I stayed hidden in Bobby's bedroom until he left.

	Martin arrived with Francis at four, followed moments later by
Freddy. My grandmother had told him I'd run away. He'd told her he'd go
look but didn't say he guessed I'd be with Bobby.

	'You father called the police last night. They won't start looking
'til tomorrow but they gonna find you, Maacum.'

	'I'm not going back, Freddy, ever.'

	Tears were forming in his eyes. 'Then what're you gonna do? Wheah
you gonna go?'

	'Francis used to live on the Westside. He knows some people over
there, don't you?'

	'Gees, Malcolm, it's been over a year. Anyhow, none of them are
gonna want to take a runaway.'

	'You said you knew kids over there who went with men. Maybe one of
them knows somebody.'

	'I can go ask but not until Saturday. I can't be away that long
after school.'

	Freddy was very worried. We went into Bobby's bedroom. The moment
the door was closed, he embraced me.

	'Ah tole you not ta go fightin' with him. Ah tole you. Now you
gonna go away an' when they gits you, they gonna lock you up and ahm nevah
gonna see you agin.'

	I had no answer to his anguish. I just held on to him as tightly as
I could. 'He was gonna send me to a military school in Ohio, Freddy. What
else could I do? At least we can see each other some if I'm in the city.'


	'But they gonna catch you, Maacum. You know they will. Ahm gonna
talk to yo' granpa. He gotta do sumthin'.'

	We talked for a couple of hours. At one point, Francis came in to
say he had to leave but would come Saturday or Sunday with whatever he
found out.

      I told Freddy all that had happened. He never let go of me. When it
came time to go, he said, 'I'll come 'n' sleep heah tomorra if you want.'
      
      'What'll you tell your mother?'
      
      'That ahm with you. She ain't gonna say nothin'. Anyways, she gonna
be heah Monday ta work so she gonna know wheah you are.'
      
      Bobby had no problem with Freddy coming but said that he shouldn't
come more than that so others wouldn't figure out I was there. While we all
worked in the kitchen, Bobby admonished Martin and Steven, who arrived
while Freddy and I were in the bedroom, to not even mention my name outside
his house. I worried about ten year old Steven but we were going to have to
trust him since he was there so much.


	Robert came by around dinner time to see if there were leftovers he
could filch. I stayed hidden until he left.

	Bobby suggested we bleach my hair blond but then decided against it
because it stood out so much. Most kids had hair close to the color of
mine. However, he planned to buy me a hat and glasses. I wanted to go for a
run but it was too risky. I worked out on the living room floor then took a
shower. Bobby joined me. We necked under the water then retired to the bed
for sixty-nine. His sperm was sweet as it came. I let him taste a little.

	'We can put some in the coleslaw tomorrow, spice it up a little.'

	I was still naked when Freddy arrived at eight fifteen. I quickly
pulled on my pants.

	'You never stop,' he said.

	He had called my grandfather just before leaving the
supermarket. The police were involved and had my picture. They would be all
over Martin's area looking for me. My mother was distraught and spent the
previous night with her parents. My grandfather assumed Freddy knew where I
was and begged him to convince me to go home.

	We shared Bobby's mother's bed and slept as we had that last night
at my grandparent's. There was no lovemaking, just a lot of affection.

	Friday evening, the teen who'd fucked Bobby while he fucked me
knocked on the door. I lay on his mother's bed beating off unsuccessfully
while they screwed.

	I spend half of Saturday hidden in his mother's bedroom. Several
kids showed up along with a number of customers. Lying on the bed, trying
unsuccessfully to sleep, I again thought about the unfairness of my
situation then got really morose over the even greater unfairness, as I saw
it, of being homosexual.

      At four, Bobby turned down sex with Fish who had been coming by every
couple of weeks since Bobby wasn't going to his house any more. Fish left,
accompanied by Spike leaving Bobby and me alone in the house.

	Bobby came into the bedroom. 'You oughta see that thing of Fish's
now. It's thicker than Kenny's.'

	'You still seeing Kenny?'

	'He comes by about once a month but he's gotta pay. I don't need
the money and he is a great fuck but gotta keep him in line, you know.'

	'You like being like we are?' I asked without looking at Bobby.

	He sat on the bed. 'Sometimes, I suppose. You?'

	I sat beside him, took his hand and pressed my fingers between
his. 'It's fun sometimes, but, it would have been better if I wasn't.'

	'If there was a pill or something that would make you normal, well,
would you take it?' He was looking directly at me.

	I lifted my eyes to his. 'Probably, yes.'

	We stared at each other. 'Would you?' I asked.

	He sighed. 'I don't know. Everybody around here knows about me. I
supposed if I could go somewhere else and start over, somewhere where
nobody knew me but, then, I wouldn't have any friends, nobody to talk to or
anything.'

	I said, 'I'd just do it but it would have to make me act normal,
too, not like I do now.' I lay back on the bed and closed my eyes. 'Oh
Bobby. I wish I was normal but I don't think I ever will be. Freddy used to
think I might just change one day but now even he doesn't say that
anymore.' I sat back up. 'And look at all this crap I'm in. The real reason
my father hates me is because is how I am. Bert was right. He's one of the
kids at camp. Freddy isn't the real reason my father hates me. It's 'cause
I'm a queer.'
  
	Freddy spent Saturday night with me then left early Sunday to go to
nine o'clock Mass with my grandparents. They wanted him to arrange a
meeting with them.

	Francis came by late Sunday morning with a tall young man I guessed
to be nearing twenty.

	'This is Frank. He lives over near the park over on Westside. He
wanted to meet you.'

	That was obvious the moment he saw me. I was shirtless and sweating
from working out. His eyes were all over my body. This young man liked
boys.
      
      'You the boy needs a place to stay?' He sounded quite normal and
fairly friendly.
      
      I wasn't sure how to answer him.
      
      Francis said, 'He's okay, Malcolm. I knew him a little but a couple
friends of mine say he's okay.'
      
      I looked at him and said, 'Mmm hmm.'
      
      'How come you ran away?'
      
      I grinned. 'That's a long story.'
      
      'I've got all day.'
      
      Martin showed up as we were sitting in the living room. I had to hide
when the knock came but returned when I heard his voice and saw him enter
alone.
      
      Martin helped tell the story of my ongoing war with my father. Frank
listened intently, shaking his head occasionally. Freddy arrived as we were
finishing. I introduced him and explained he was the now well known Freddy
in my life.
      
      Freddy had a message from my grandfather.
      
      My father had hired a detective who could well be in the area at that
moment. Bobby became worried.
      
      'If I was looking for you, I'd follow Freddy,' he said.
      
      Freddy said, 'I thought of that. I sneaked outta the basement and ran
up the alley, then waited to see if anyone was following. Weren't nobody.'
      
      Frank offered to take me home for a few days and see how it worked
out between us but with the understanding that I couldn't set foot outside
during school hours, the same admonishment Bobby had given.
      
      Bobby thought it best to wait until night and use a taxi from
somewhere well away from his and Martin's house.
      
      I was wary and took Francis into Bobby's bedroom. Freddy came along.
      
      'What's this guy like to do?'
      
      'Everything but if you say no to something, he'll listen. The kids I
asked like him. He was some kind of basketball star in high school. He
works at a warehouse downtown.' He gave me a sheet of paper. 'Here's my
telephone number and address but don't come near my house. Call me and we
can meet somewhere if you want. The kids at school all know you ran
away. Most of them wouldn't say anything but you better not take the
chance. Nobody knows I've seen you.
      
      'You know who's worried most about you?' he asked.
      
      'Who?'
      
      'Victor. Can you believe it?'
      
      That news produced my first pang of guilt over worrying friends.
      
      Frank hung around until seven thirty. After hugging and kissing Bobby
in his bedroom, we walked the long way around the area, coming out a few
blocks in toward the center of town from Martin's. We ended up taking a
trolley when no empty taxi appeared.
      
      Frank's house was a narrow brick row house at the end of an alley. If
it had had a window on the side, it would have looked out over railroad
tracks below and a large park just past them. The house smelled like it
hadn't been cleaned for years. The kitchen was a mess. He apparently washed
dishes as he needed them. His bed didn't look like it had ever been
made. The sheets had been white but were no longer. The view out the
windows was clouded by long baked on dirt.
      
      Cleaning it all up would be something to occupy my time.
      
      Then he suggested we shower together. That was the biggest shock, not
him wanting to shower with me, but the metal shower stall. It was a
splotchy grayish brown with a ring of green mold around the base.
      
      He wanted to wash me, especially my midsection. He all but stuck his
finger up my ass. His cock wasn't much larger than John's from camp. If
things worked out, I could, with effort, probably take it.
      
      His bed stunk. It was hard to concentrate on the blow job he gave
me. The bed would be my first chore.
      
      I didn't sleep much that night. Memories of first nights in YMCA
camps surfaced in my mind only to be replaced by anger at my father then
frustration at the apparent immutability of my abnormal sexual orientation,
an orientation probably caused by the unwillingness of my father to be a
dad. He'd never given me a reason to be like him, never, as best as I could
remember, ever picked me up, played with me, even talked to me.
      
      I wondered if Frank and I could become friends, close friends. I
stared at him beside me. Could he learn to care for me like maybe a big
brother? I could give him plenty of sexual good times, even learn to take
his big cock up my rear.
      
      Then I began to worry if I could stand those long hours alone in the
house, if I could stand to live under the conditions there. In the morning,
I gave him five dollars to buy two cans of Ajax, a scrub brush, sponge and
mop. He had a rarely used broom and dustpan and a just opened box of
detergent he used to wash dishes.
      
      His refrigerator worked but not well. The freezer section was a block
of ice. We had fried eggs and bread with butter for breakfast and he headed
off to work.
      
      My first job was the bed. I took the covers off the mattress and
pillow and hauled them onto his small back porch and hung the mattress over
the railing and put the pillow up on the porch roof in hopes sun and air
would help a little. They did that annually at the YMCA camp and when kids
had wet their bed. I stripped and got into the shower stall with the sheets
and washed them three times. I'd never done it or anything like it before
but had watched our maids. The sheets and pillow case didn't turn white but
got close. With a towel around my waist, I hung them quickly as I could on
a clothesline in the back yard.
      
      By midmorning, I attacked the kitchen. I emptied the refrigerator and
left the door open so the ice would melt. What had been inside was rotten
so I threw it all away. Then I took everything out of two small wall
cabinets and, using a towel and detergent, scrubbed them, making a mess on
the kitchen floor. While they dried, I washed the three pots and plates,
bowls and glasses that had been in them. They looked great when I was
done. I had no idea how to clean off the stove's baked on grease so did the
sink and countertop. They would need the Ajax to be really clean. By
lunchtime, everything but the stove and refrigerator in the small kitchen
looked reasonably good. He had peanut butter on the windowsill but the
jelly in the refrigerator had mold in it. I had two peanut butter
sandwiches and water.
      
      I cleaned the refrigerator inside and out next. It took a while with
a kitchen knife to break off the larger chunks of ice, then I heated water
on the stove to melt the rest. The coil on the back was caked with dust but
the broom and detergent took care of that. By the time Frank got home, all
but the top and inside of the stove sparkled.
      
      'Wow,' he said grinning ear to ear, 'I shoulda found you last year
when I moved into this dump.'
      
      He hadn't bought the Ajax or scrub brush. I gave him a second five
dollar bill and a list to buy food as well. He took me with him. We walked
up to the boulevard and took a bus a couple of miles to a new shopping
center with an Acme Supermarket in the middle. As we walked in, a pair of
boys about my age waved to him.
      
      'Friends?' I asked.
      
      'Yep,' he said almost proudly.
      
      We spent eleven dollars and change and went home with four bags of
groceries and cleaning supplies. Some of the food required refrigeration. I
was concerned but unnecessarily. When we got back, the refrigerator was
sufficiently cold inside. We made hamburgers and boiled, then fried
potatoes.
      
      After cleaning up with me doing most, we went up to the boulevard and
three blocks up to a soda shop that was very much like Benson's across from
the streetcar turnaround. Frank's teenage friends hung there. He introduced
me as a cousin who was staying with him for a while. I wondered if they
knew what his sexual interests were. They gabbed on about the upcoming
basketball season, girls they knew and were screwing or not, somebody's
brother who was shot to death on a school playground, and other things that
just floated past me. The killing worried me a bit but the rest was just
boring. We were there for three hours and fifteen minutes.
      
      On the way home, I asked, 'Is that what you do every night?'
      
      'Boring for you, huh? Nah, just a couple three times a week. We gotta
find you some friends.'
      
      We hadn't spoken much in the house. Friends sounded like a good idea.
      
      He sucked me then asked me if I'd mind doing him. 'You don't have to
if you don't want. I can put it between your legs, not inside, just
between.'
      
      I'd never sucked a man before though I almost did Master Gorman at
camp. A cock between the legs felt good. I pointed between my legs. I did
use my mouth to slick him up, testing my feelings about fellating grown
men. It wasn't all that bad, just bigger. He put an old T shirt under my
crotch and lay on top of me. It did feel good against my perineum. He took
a while, pumping and moving back and forth then came quietly. I could feel
the faint pulsing as he shot sperm all over his T shirt and my balls.
      
      As he was wiping himself off, he asked, 'You want the other kids to
know what you like? Francis says you like getting fucked long as it isn't
too big.'
      
      'Just with kids that aren't going to say anything.'
      
      'All my kids are like that. So I should tell 'em?'
      
      'The ones you think are all right.'
      
      We showered and went to bed.
      
      As I lay in bed, it occurred to me he had no washing machine.
      
      'How do you wash your clothes?'
      
      'I take 'em to my mother's.'
      
      'You think she'd wash mine too?'
      
      'Hell, no. She don't like doin' mine and I don't wan' her ta know I
got a kid livin' with me. You gotta wash 'em yourself.'
      
      I'd never seen anyone wash clothes except with a machine but I
supposed I could learn. It couldn't be that different from sheets.
      
      I made my first scrambled eggs the next morning but put in too much
salt. The orange juice we squeezed by hand from the oranges we'd bought
tasted as good as back home.
      
      With the Ajax and scrub brush in hand, the bathroom was my project
for the day. The shower stall was first. It took a couple of hours
scrubbing, but finally was shining white inside. The sink and toilet were
easier. The floor I thought was black had red and yellow linoleum. When I
heard kids voices outside, I knew school was out and wandered up the
street. Frank had given me the name of a somewhat distant Catholic
parochial school to say I attended if asked. Some kids looked at me but no
one said anything. I walked far enough to get lost. He was home when I
found my way back.
      
      We went out to find some friends he felt I could trust.
      
      'Don't tell 'em nothing, just that you go to St. Thomas
Aquinas. Nobody around here goes there so you're safe saying that. Remember
your name is Tom Bailey.' His last name was Bailey.
      
      We walked several blocks across toward city center. He spotted a
brown skinned boy sitting on a stoop and waited until he noticed us. The
boy responded to his wave by coming our way. Frank took me around the
corner from his house.
      
      'Genie, this is my cousin Tom. He's gonna be stayin' with me for a
while and don't know nobody around here.'
      
      Genie looked me over. He was about twelve but an inch or so shorter
than me. He had dark brown hair and skin as dark as some Negroes though it
was easy to see he had none of their blood in him. He was handsome in a
rugged sort of way with slightly reddish lips that were probably nice to
suck on if he'd allow it. His long hair was straight and combed back in
what was called a ducktail in those days. His brown eyes looked hard but
smiled easily. He was missing one of his incisors. His handshake was
firm. His hands were quite a bit smaller than mine but thicker.
      
      'Who else is around he can meet?'
      
      'Dumpy just went by with Fritz. That's all I seen today.'
      
      His voice had not begun to change confirming what his face told me.
      
      We walked across his street and up to the next corner. Half a dozen
boys from seven or eight to about fourteen were sitting on or about a car
with no wheels. Frank sent Genie to bring a couple to us.
      
      'Genie Shackleford is a tough kid, good to have for a friend. Nobody
fucks with him. Got indian blood in him.'
      
      'Does he do things with you?'
      
      'He just gets done but he's got a great body and a nice dick. Hard to
believe he's almost fourteen, huh?'
      
      It was.
      
      He returned with two other pleasant looking boys, one a bit taller
though possibly younger. He was Dumpy Keller. The other, Fritz something,
had a Polish sounding long last name and was about Genie's size. He was
tanned but would probably be fairly light skinned by winter. His blond hair
was combed in the same style as Genie's. Dumpy had crew cut hair the color
of mine. They both shook hands. Frank led us off to his house where they
used up my box of Wheaties and all the milk.
      
      Dumpy went into the bathroom and said loudly, 'Hey Frank, you get
married or somethin?''
      
      'Nah, just ambitious. Got sick of looking at the dirt.'
      
      I was a little miffed until I realized I shouldn't have been around
during the day to do the work. Frank smiled at me and made me feel better
by saying, 'Tom helped a lot too.'
      
      Genie pulled Frank into the kitchen for a moment then came back
out. 'I'm first,' he said and kicked off his shoes. His feet and the
insides of his shoes stunk.
      
      Frank motioned for me to join them. Inside the bedroom, he said,
'Genie wants to fuck you, okay?'
      
      I shrugged my shoulders and began undressing. Genie dropped his pants
and dirty underwear and waited. His too large shirt covered everything I
wanted to see.
      
      'You gonna wear that' It's gonna get in the way.'
      
      Genie grinned at Frank and unbuttoned it. He did have a nice body but
it needed a bath. His growing uncircumcised cock had little pieces of
something stuck to the tip.
      
      'Wanna shower first?' I asked him.

      

      'I hope you're good,' he said as we went into the bathroom.
      
      His skin had little scars on it but was generally very smooth. He let
me wash him everywhere but his behind. He blocked my hand when I went there
and said, 'I'll do that.'
      
      His balls were the size of Freddy's marbles but his cock promised to
be larger when it hardened. I washed it well expecting it to grow there in
the shower but it stayed soft. We went back to the bed where I had him lie
down while I lubricated him. A quick roll around inside my mouth caused a
near immediate erection. I continued doing that for a while to enjoy his
lightly muscled but hard body. There wasn't an ounce of fat on him. His
tummy didn't have much muscle tone but it was flat and smooth as a table
top. The brown in his middle wasn't as dark as the rest of him. He'd been
swimming somewhere.
      
      I let him go and lay face down on the bed. He got behind me and
pulled my hips up so he could fuck me on his knees. I wanted to feel his
body against mine but this was his first time. He poked all the way in with
one push and began fucking right away. Frank sat beside us for a while then
got up and watched from behind. Genie's strokes were powerful and poked at
or near my sweet spot with every thrust. In a few more months, he'd be a
great fuck.
      
      He smacked against me for a while then pushed me down and lay on top
of me. The feel of his soft skin on mine enhanced my enjoyment. His hands
went under my shoulders. He stopped then continued slowly. I wasn't sure
but I thought I felt his cock pulsing. Then, he rolled off me and caught
his breath.
      
      Frank asked, 'How was it?'
      
      Genie answered, 'Pretty good.'
      
      I said, 'Thanks.'
      
      Frank sucked Dumpy's long cock, which I would have liked to have had
up my rear. I sucked Fritz's short thing. Fritz had a body as good as
Genie's but a stubby little cock that sat on a tight ball sack. I sucked it
all. He pumped hard and came in two minutes or so.
      
      Frank went to see a friend and sent me off with my three new friends.
      
      Genie said, 'Always stay close to me and won't be no problems.'
      
      Thus started another boring evening. We joined some others sitting on
the front stoop of someone's row house and talked about fucking girls, a
fight in the park, a woman on the next block who got mad about the kids
playing ball in the street and called the cops and reasons why various boys
not there were punks or assholes. Genie took me home at nine. Frank wasn't
there so we sat on the front stoop. He told me about his drunken father who
beat on them each weekend.
      
      'We stay around the corner 'til my big sister says he's in
bed. Problem is the cops make us go home after eleven and sometimes the
motherfucker don't fall asleep 'til after midnight. Depends what he's
drinkin'.'
      
      Genie was the third child of nine. The eldest was his sister,
seventeen, who, according to Genie, kept the family together despite his
father's violent outbursts when drunk two or three times a week and his
mother's loss of interest in her family. His older brother, who was in the
state reformatory for burglary, had been arrested a dozen times since from
age eight. Genie had been arrested twice, once for burglary with his
brother and the other time for breaking the store window of a man who
refused to return what he paid for some bad eggs. There were four more boys
and two girls, the youngest seven months old. Genie considered himself the
protector of his younger siblings even though he didn't spend much time in
the house.
      
      'When my old man comes in, I go out' he explained.
      
      I found it interesting none of them discussed their family when all
were together yet here, with just the two of us, I was told a family
history of misery. It made me briefly re-examine running away. A difference
seemed to be that they'd grown up with their problems, had never known
anything else. Misery was part of their daily life. I laughed to
myself. The son-of-a-bitch should have started beating me younger.
      
      Frank came home at ten thirty and promised me a key the next day. I
thanked Genie for staying with me.
      
      'Ain't no never mind,' he said.
      
      Frank stuck his cock between my legs again then we went to sleep, his
cum still on my balls.
      
      I washed my clothes naked Thursday morning so all could be done at
the same time. It was harder than I expected and not a great job. Again
with a towel around my waist, I hung everything out to dry on the two back
yard clotheslines. I was still nude when Genie arrived after school and had
to lie on the bed for him to relieve his sexual tension.
      
      I spend my afternoons and evenings with Genie and his many friends
the rest of that week. They ate at our house, using up the food that I
bought at the supermarket when Genie, Fritz and I went out there Wednesday
afternoon. I bought enough Wheaties and a few other odds and ends like
carrots, which they liked, raw. Wednesday, I called my grandparents and
Bobby's from a payphone at the shopping center. It told the kids it was
private to my family, which it was, and they stayed away.
      
      My grandmother sounded very relieved to hear my voice.
      
      'Where are you, dear?'
      
      'I'm with somebody and I'm okay so don't worry.'
      
      'Please come see us. You know the police and a detective are looking
for you. If you are in the city they are going to find you, especially if
you're near your friends around Edward's.'
      
      'I'm nowhere near there. I promise. I can't go to your house yet
because there might be someone watching.'
      
      'We can meet you somewhere if you like. We just want to talk.'
      
      'Let's wait a few days, granma. I'll call you back. I've gotta hang
up now. I love you.'
      
      I'd been told never to talk for over a minute. If they were tracing
the call, that didn't give them enough time. Someone else said three
minutes but I stayed well under a minute.
      
      Bobby told me he had been visited by the police and my father's
detective. They'd all told him he'd be hauled into Juvenile Court if he
gave me any help. The visits had been after three so no one noticed he
wasn't going to school.
      
      'But don't worry. I'm here if you need me but don't say nothing on
the telephone in case they're listening. Send me a note with someone.'

      I wanted to arrange to see Freddy. I had Francis' telephone number
but decided to wait until the weekend.
      
      Friday night, Genie asked me if I'd like to make some money
hustling. I didn't understand.
      
      'That's goin' out on the boulevard or down on the avenue and getting'
picked up by fags. I get fifty cent or a buck lettin' 'em blow me. You blow
them or let 'em fuck you, it's more.'
      
      I remembered the movie theater. 'Isn't there a movie theater where we
can do that?'
      
      He chuckled. 'Not no more. Fire Department closed that firetrap down
six months ago. We keep hearin' it's gonna open again but they ain't done
no work on it yet.'
      
      We went to the Avenue on the other side of the park. We stood by a
wall with three others in a small park where the Avenue curved and watched
cars going by. One boy, a small blonde, was picked up minutes after we
arrived. An old black Ford stopped and motioned to the eldest among us, a
teenager about fifteen. They spoke for a moment. The boy came back and
asked me if I was interested in going out with the man.
      
      'If Genie goes too.'
      
      Genie went to the car and negotiated.
      
      He came back and whispered to me, a dollar for him to blow you and
seventy-five cents for me. You're new is why it's more.'
      
      The man drove us to an empty lot behind a darkened store. He said his
name was John. Genie said about me, 'His too.'
      
      'Let's get in the back, there's more space there.'
      
      I pulled down my pants. He got on his knees and lay across the
seat. I was soft. He played with my dick until it grew then went down on
me. He was good at it. Even with his whiskers grating on my crotch, he took
me to orgasm in a couple minutes. I traded places with Genie and he got the
same treatment.
      
      We collected our money and were driven back to a block from the
little park. The man drove ahead of us and took another.
      
      Genie told me, 'That guy's weird. All he ever does is suck, nothing
else. This other queer kid was ready to blow him for just a buck and the
guy says no. Ain't that weird?'
      
      I agreed it was weird.
      
      Our second customer drove a two year old DeSoto. He wanted the new
face too. Genie knew him. He took us to a motel out the boulevard, parked,
went to the office and paid, came back with a key and took us into a room
that smelled of mildew and something else I couldn't identify.
      
      While we were waiting in the car, Genie told me, 'This fag likes us
to take a shower with him then he'll blow us. He likes to stick his cock
between our legs like Frank. I charge fifty cents extra for that. You blow
'im and you can get two dollars. I don't know what he'd pay to fuck. Up to
you.'
      
      The man was another 'John'. I again said I was John and Genie called
himself Mike. We showered together. He washed us. I let him do
everything. Genie let him do all but his ass. The man fingered my hole and
said, 'oohh'. He was a little heavyset, sort of like Robert grown up but
with a cock I was sure would tear me apart. I let him blow me and charged
extra fifty cents for him to get off between my legs.
      
      'What're you guys doing tomorrow' Wanna go somewhere?'
      
      I let Genie handle that. 'Nah, we got somethin' we gotta do. Thanks
anyway.'
      
      We had him leave us off near Frank's and went there. I had my key and
let us in. Genie looked around at the clean house.
      
      'You did all this din't ya' Frank never cleaned up nothin' in his
life 'cept his dick and he don't always do that.' He chuckled at his little
joke.
      
      I didn't say anything, a tacit admission he was right.
      
      'You're a runaway, ain't ya' Don't worry. I ain't gonna say nothin'
ta nobody. I stayed here oncet last year when I got real pissed at my old
man.'
      
      'Why'd you go back?'
      
      'Frank's a pig.'
      
      We both chuckled. I worried my older brother fantasy was just that, a
fantasy.
      
      I told him the basics of my story.
      
      'So you thinkin' a livin' here?'
      
      'I'm not going back to my father's house.'
      
      'You ain't even twelve. Truant officer gonna get you
eventual. Somebody's gonna rat you out. People 'round here 're all nosey as
shit.'
      
      'Then I'll have to figure out a way to make them think I'm in
school.'
      
      'This fag's gonna take us out to some river tomorrow. Wanna go?'
      
      The man's name was Bill though nobody believed it was his real
name. He regularly took kids from the area on trips out to the countryside
where they ate a picnic lunch and swam when it was warm enough.
      
      I asked Frank about him when he arrived after eleven that night.
      
      'He's sort of okay, thinks he's somethin' special 'cause he's got
money and a car. I could have kids like him if I had a car, and money. I
got a couple a kids comin' over tomorrow night. I kinda wanna be alone with
'em so stay out until about nine, okay?'
      
      Frank screwed me between the legs after we went to bed and fell
asleep with his T shirt wrapped around his dick. I cleaned up in the
bathroom and wiped off the sheet. In the morning, I washed it and hung it
in the back yard to dry.
      

      Bill, as he called himself, was a dark haired muscular young man of
medium height about thirty with a Ford station wagon. He wore thick glasses
and squinted a lot. His correct English indicated a good education. There
were six of us including Genie, Fritz, Dumpy and two others I hadn't seen
before. One, who appeared more attractive each time I looked at him, might
have been one of the hustlers in the park the previous night. His blonde
hair had caught my attention but he'd been picked up before I had a good
look.
      
      I learned the two new faces were Sammy and Junebug, eleven and
thirteen respectively. Sammy was slight with whispy blonde hair and a
beautiful face. His blue eyes were like beacons. He looked much too fragile
to be hanging around with the rest of this bunch. Junebug was a hard
looking boy who nonetheless smiled easily. His tough, broad, freckled face
didn't seem the type a man seeking pretty boys would be interested in. His
short sleeved shirt showed biceps one wouldn't expect on so small a boy. I
was at least an inch taller than him but didn't have his broad shoulders or
thick neck. Sammy, on the other hand, also not as tall as me, couldn't have
weighed more than sixty pounds.
      
      Bill got my name and learned I lived with Frank. That seemed to
bother him somewhat. He asked the others how they were doing in school and
at home like he was a counselor of some kind. We bought food at the
supermarket where I'd purchased what was in our house and rode for about an
hour out into the country to a remote spot by a metal bridge above a thirty
to forty foot wide stream. I attempted to strike up a conversation with
Sammy but he seemed either too shy or following Bill's example of
avoidance.
      
      Carrying the food and swim gear including a couple of inflatable
rafts in three knapsacks Bill carried in his car, we walked down by the
water then up a path to a large rock formation beside a small open area
with evidence of numerous prior camp fires. Everyone stripped off their
clothes and awaited a swim suit. Junebug's attraction for Bill became clear
as his pants fell. He had a growing uncircumsized cock that probably
reached four thick inches when hard and a pair of balls the size of shooter
marbles. His body was not as well formed as his arms but there wasn't much
fat either. Sammy, still physically a little boy, was as slight as he
looked and sported a very average but nicely formed circumcised cock, the
only one in the group aside from mine.
      
      Bill checked out my body carefully and handed me a tight fitting suit
that barely fit. My cock and balls were squeezed to a point of
discomfort. I noticed the others were also tight but not as much.
      
      'You got another suit for me' This one's too tight.'
      

      He looked through his bag but there was nothing.


      
      'Swim naked if you want. There's nobody else around here but us.'
      
      I wasn't sure if the suggestion was due to his coolness toward me
because of my connection with Frank or a genuine lack of bathing suits. It
didn't really matter. I'd always enjoyed the feel of the water at the YMCA
against my bare body. I took off the suit, handed it to Bill, ran to the
water's edge and dove in. It was refreshing but cold. My cock and balls
shriveled up smaller than the suit had made them.
      
      Bill did warm up to me in the water. I was the best swimmer and
strong enough to enjoy the horseplay. He was as strong as he looked, easily
lifting me and tossing me out into the water. It got horsier as the morning
wore on. Genie came up behind me in the water with his suit down and poked
me in the rear with his hard on. I tried to get him inside but cold water
isn't much of a lubricant. I dove below the surface and mouthed his dick
for a moment.
      
      Others noticed what we were doing and shortly everyone was on the
shore looking for some sexual attention that Bill was happy to
provide. Unfortunately for Bill, word circulated quickly that my posterior
was available. Only Sammy and Fritz, the two smallest organs, went to him
for service. Genie and Junebug took turns blowing up one of the inflatable
rafts. Everyone was naked at that point.
      
      Bill watched rather than sucked as I lubed up Genie with my mouth
then lay belly down to receive him. As before, he pulled my hips up and
pushed right in. He banged away. Bill felt my dick. Finding it quite erect,
he massaged it between his fingers then slid them back between my legs to
feel Genie's cock slip in and out of me. I think the audience made
impossible what had been difficult in private. Genie slugged away for
probably ten minutes then faked an orgasm. I felt sorry for him. Dumpy
jumped in immediately and stuck in his dry cock. There was significant
lubrication due to the length of Genie's fucking but not enough to prevent
pain. I rolled away quickly.
      
      'Wait a minute. That hurt! You gotta get it wet first.'
      
      He started to make a remark but a look from Genie stopped it like a
lasso on a heifer. Bill did the honors and Dumpy tried again. My anus still
stung from his attempted dry entry but his slim four plus inches felt so
good inside, I forgot it. Bill pushed his hand in again. I had to pull him
to me and whisper in his ear, 'Please don't touch my dick too much or I'll
cum.'
      
      He smiled and patted me on the shoulder. Dumpy's cock was the perfect
length and diameter to excite my prostate and the entire inside of my
rectum. He lay on top of me and pumped at a moderate rate, thrusting harder
as he went along then very fast at the end. He went rigid and throbbed like
he was firing off something though it couldn't have been much based on his
ball size.
      
      Dumpy's fucking had felt great but my attention was split between
what was going on inside my rectum and the vision of beautiful Sammy
sitting naked with his little hard on and his blue eyes fixed on the
action.
      
      Junebug was nice but too rough, a bit like Steve at camp before I
tamed him. He came quickly. Fritz tried and ended up with what was probably
another fake climax. Sammy, to my chagrin, was done by Bill.
      
      Bill covered Sammy and me with Coppertone so we could remain naked as
we ate. All but Sammy and I sunned themselves afterward. We sat under a
rock overhang and talked. I found him very attractive.
      
      'Where do you live?' I asked.
      
      'A block and a half from you, up the alley and down the street in the
house on the corner where the little novelty store is. We live on the
second floor.'
      
      'How old are you?'
      
      'Eleven, you?'
      
      'Eleven. What grade are you in?'
      
      'Third. I was sick a lot.'
      
      'What'd you have.'
      
      'Lots of stuff. Meningitis, hepititis, some kind of infection in my
kidneys.'
      
      I knew very little of the first two and couldn't imagine the third
causing him to lose three years of school.
      
      He said, 'You're not from around where we live. Where's your family
live?'
      
      'I'm kind of an orphan, car wreck.' Dead parents seemed the easiest
kind.
      
      'So how come you're with Frank?'
      
      'He's the only one would take me.' I needed to tell Frank all this.
      
      'I'm kinda an orphan too except my father's alive in prison. But my
mother's dead. I live with my aunt. She works in the store downstairs. What
grade are you in?'
      
      'Seventh.' I had to explain why I was so far ahead of him.
      
      'Does Frank fuck you?'
      
      'Unh uh.'
      
      'How come you let them do it?' He pointed at the boys lying on the
ground.
      
      'It feels good.'
      
      He stared ahead for a minute. 'Are you a fag?'
      
      'Sorta, I suppose.'
      
      'You let men fuck you or suck them?'
      
      'Neither.'
      
      'What's it feel like when Dumpy and them put it in you?'
      
      I began to suspect interest. 'Pretty good except for Junebug. He did
it too hard.'
      
      'Did you ever let them shoot sperm into your mouth?'
      
      'Mmm hmm. You?'
      
      'Oh, no. I don't do that.'
      
      I asked, 'You like it when they suck yours?'
      
      'Some. Bill does it pretty good. But he always wants to take kids
like Genie and Junebug.'
      
      'You don't like Genie?'
      
      'I don't know. He just seems awful mean.'
      
      'He ever do anything to you?'
      
      'He wanted me to suck him once when we were with this other fag.'
      

      'Did you?'
      
      He sighed. 'A little.'
      
      'You wanna come to my house after we go back?'
      
      'I can't. I gotta watch the store when my aunt goes shopping.'
      
      'Tomorrow?'
      
      'Whatta you wanna do?'
      
      'Nothing. Talk. Go out and do something. Go to the park or
something. I've never been to the park.'
      
      That idea seemed to energize him. 'Okay, I'll show you the park.'
      
      He told me about the swings, teeter totters, jungle gym and the great
sand box.
      
      With the food all tucked away in our intestines, we swam and paddled
about on the two rafts. Junebug tried to fuck me on one so I turned it
over. We wrestled playfully in the water. Strong as he looked, I was more
powerful. He seemed puzzled by that.
      
      Dumpy and Junebug fell asleep on the way home. Bill had me up front
with Genie. He asked me where I was from, about my family, why I lived with
Frank, where I went to school and what grade I was in. I gave the same
answers I'd given Sammy. I don't think he believed me. He invited me to go
with him again the following Saturday.
      
      Genie went home with me to eat. I apparently had better and more food
than was available at his house. We made eggs and hamburgers.
      
      I learned the terminology of seeking men for sex. What we did was
called hustling or, if you went with some guy regularly, it was called
going out. All the men were fags, a term I resented.
      
      We went with two more that evening. The second wanted us to spend the
night with him. Genie wanted two dollars extra each to do it.
      
      'That means one of you will let me go in your backside?'
      
      'Not me,' said Genie definitively.
      
      'Me neither,' I answered.
      
      It was nearly ten so we went to my house. The lights were out so I
figured Frank had finished and left with his two boys. We went in to
wait. He wasn't back by eleven thirty. I suggested Genie had better go
home.
      
      'Nah, I can stay here if you want, so you won't be alone.'
      
      He fucked me again and we slept.
      
      Frank didn't come home all night. Genie said not to worry. He was
like that, probably at some friend's house. I didn't feel as sure.
      
      We had a breakfast of eggs and toast we made on a spatula over the
stove. Sammy showed up as we were toasting and ate with us.
      
      We sat on the back porch and discussed men Genie and Sammy had gone
out with. They had an entirely different perspective.
      
      'I can get John with the green Dodge to give me a dollar every time
by telling him it's for my mother,' said Genie about one.
      
      Sammy described another. 'Tom with the convertible' He promised to
take me to the movies if my aunt lets me go out one night.'
      
      Genie talked about the money. Sammy talked about the men.
      
      'That fuck, the John with the gray Ford, best he ever gives is fifty
cent and he wants to stick it between your legs. I never let him do that
for fifty cent.' I was surprised Genie would let anyone do that for any
amount.
      
      'That's because John's poor', explained Sammy. 'You see how he never
drives around and around' That's 'cause he can't pay for the gas.'
      
      After making ham, cheese and tomato sandwiches and finishing off the
milk, we went to the park. Genie watched, then got into a discussion with
some teenagers while we played on the swings and jungle gym.
      
      About mid afternoon, Genie walked quickly from the group he'd been
with to tell us, 'They said Frank got busted in a stolen car last night
with Vinny Castellano and two kids. They got him at the precinct up near
the shopping center.'
      
      A blanket of fear swept over me. I had nowhere else to go but back to
Martin's area where they were watching for me. The police might come to
Frank's house to search it. Everything I had was there, including my
money. If they found it, they'd probably figure it was stolen and take
it. I only had a little over five dollars in my pocket.'
      
      Genie knew what was on my mind. 'Lemme ask around for someplace you
can stay for a couple days.'
      
      'We gotta get my stuff out of the house now.'
      
      'Okay, c'mon.'
      
      Sammy didn't want to go near Frank's house so went home.
      
      There were a couple of women sitting on stoops and three small kids
playing with dolls when we entered the alley. Inside, the house looked
undisturbed. But, someone had been there. Fear became terror. The contents
of my knapsack were dumped on the bed. I searched frantically but the money
was gone, all of it. All I had was the five dollars and change in my
pocket.
      
      Genie saw the panic in my face. 'What's missing?'
      
      'My money.'
      
      'You left money here' You're crazy. C'mon, we gotta get outta here.'
      
      In a haze, I gathered my belongings and stuffed them into the
knapsack. I looked under the bed for my leather shoes but they were missing
too. I felt like crying. I needed food. We went downstairs to the kitchen
to see what was left. The refrigerator was empty. They'd even taken the
carrots and two eggs that had been left.
      
      Genie said, 'Whoever came in here had a key.'
      
      'What?'
      
      'Whoever came in had a key. Nothing's broken. Look at the door and
the windows.'
      
      He was right. I went to the front of the house then back
upstairs. Neither front nor back windows were broken.
      
      I sat dejected on the bed. Genie sat beside me and put his arm over
my shoulder.
      
      'You can't go trusting nobody around here, especially a motherfucker
like Frank. I don't know this kid told you to stay with him but he din't do
you no favor. Frank's mother kicked him outta her house for stealin' from
her, his own mother. I steal when I get the chance but I don't steal from
my friends and I sure as shit don't steal from my own mother.'
      
      I'd been stealing from my mother and father for years. I wondered if
he was telling the truth.
      
      'You really think the police are going to come here today?'
      
      He thought about it. 'Maybe not. It's Sunday afternoon. Nah, they
won't come 'til tomorrow if they come. They might not even come. If it was
just a car they stole, maybe not. You can stay here tonight. I'll go ask
around and see if there's someplace you can stay tomorrow. Maybe one a the
fags?'
      
      'They let kids stay at their houses?'
      
      'I never done it but maybe if you say you ain't got no place ta
stay.'
      
      'Can we hustle tonight?'
      
      'Shit, you can hustle any night. They're around every night, even
afternoons sometimes.'
      
      'Now?'
      
      'Not so much now. About five or six. Maybe you can get one a them to
buy you somethin' ta eat.'
      
      We heard the front door open. I grabbed Genie and pulled him into the
bathroom. Someone walked to the back of the house, into the kitchen. There
were no voices. If it had been the police, there would be at least two. The
footsteps came up the stairs. The door opened. It was Frank.
      
      He smiled. 'Who're you guys hidin' from?'
      
      'Where's my money?' I asked angrily.
      
      'What money?'
      
      Genie pushed him back. 'Tom's money you stole out'a his stuff.'
      
      'Hey, I hadda make bail. I just borrowed it. I'll give it back when I
get paid.'
      
      'And my shoes?'
      
      'Hey, I din't take no shoes. Vinny's brother come to get the money
for bail. You gotta talk ta him 'bout that.'
      
      'He took the food too so what're we gonna eat?'
      
      'I don' know but you gotta find someplace else ta stay. Fer sure my
probation officer's gonna be here in the mornin' an' you can't be here.'
      
      He wasn't going to be my benevolent older brother.
      
      'You motherfucker,' growled Genie, 'You steal his money an' now
you're throwin' 'im out?'
      
      'Hey, what'm I s'posed to do? Go ta jail for some kid 'cause he's got
problems? Fuck, no. He can stay tonight but he's gotta be gone by seven
'cause the man comes early, before I go ta work.'
      
      'When do I get my money?'
      
      'Friday when I get paid.'
      
      'Wait a minute,' said Genie, 'You just got paid Friday. Where's that
money?'
      
      'I gotta eat, don' I.'
      
      'You better watch your ass, Frank, 'cause somethin' could happen ta
it real soon. C'mon, Tommy. Let's get the fuck away from this
motherfucker.'

      

      'Hey, it's not my fault I got busted yesterday?'
      
      'Fuck you, Frank. Don't come aroun' my way.' He stopped. 'You owe
Tommy a hundred dollars fer cleanin' up your shit hole house so that's plus
a hundred you owe and you better pay, faggot motherfucker.'
      
      The moment we got outside, Genie said calmly, 'Think I scared his
ass?'
      
      I'd thought he was really angry. 'I hope so. I need that money. We've
gotta find a place for me to sleep tonight.'
      
      We hustled. No one came by for nearly an hour. A heavy set man in a
Buick drove by twice. Genie waved furtively but told me he liked older kids
who could cum. The man didn't come back.
      
      Another he knew drove by in a pickup. He took us to a cheap motel
south of the city and blew us. We negotiated fifty cents more for him to
get off between my legs. He couldn't have anyone at his house. He didn't
say why.
      
      Genie turned his back when the next car passed looking. He pulled me
with him. 'He's a real asshole. I don't wanna go nowhere with him.'
      
      I asked why.
      
      'The lyin' motherfucker tole some kids he fucked me.'
      
      It was another twenty minutes and dark before we were checked over by
a young man in an old black Ford. He stopped down the block. Genie said
he'd seen him around before but had never gone with him and didn't know
what he liked. We went to talk.
      
      'Hi, you, a looking for somebody?' he asked
      
      'No, we just thought you was lost or somethin'.'
      
      'No, just driving around. What are you guys up to?'
      
      'Nothin'. Okay, see ya.'
      
      Genie pushed me back from the car and walked us down the street.
      
      'He ain't no fag. Maybe a cop or from welfare. Let's walk normal.'
      
      He led me off the boulevard and down into the small streets feeding
it. The car didn't follow us.
      
      'Cops got your picture?' asked Genie.
      
      'Yes.'
      
      'Then they ain't looking fer you here or he's welfare or juvenile,
probly welfare.'
      
      That was chilling. Getting caught was one thing. Getting caught
hustling homosexual sex was another entirely. I wasn't sure I wanted to do
it anymore.
      
      'Can you call that guy Bill?' I asked
      
      'Nah, none of 'em I know gives their telephones but he usually comes
around during the week. We just don't know when. Let's go down to the
Avenue. Maybe that guy won't go there.
      
      I needed to take a shit. We went back in the woods. I wiped myself
with some trashed business forms we found.
      
      A man Genie knew passed by us then stopped as we were walking.
      
      'That's Mike. He might let you stay a couple days with him. He don't
work. Got disability or somethin'. But you gotta blow him. He'll do most
anything you want for a good blow job. Up to you.'
      
      He was middle aged, decent looking and clean. I figured I could blow
him for a few nights lodging.



      'Hey, Mike,' greeted Genie when we got to the car, an old Dodge.
      
      'Who's your friend?' asked the man with a smile.
      
      'This is Tom. You wan' us to go with you?'


      'Sure, get in.' He held his hand out to me as I entered. We squeezed
with him into the front seat, me in the middle.
      
      Genie raised his eyebrows and made an upward nod of his head, seeking
my decision regarding blowing this man or not. I nodded yes.
      
      Mike asked the standard questions as we drove. I gave him the
standard answers. We went to his second floor apartment twenty minutes away
on the outskirts of the city. He walked with a heavy limp as though his
right leg was shorter than his left. His place was small but clean and
orderly with a nice kitchen off to the side of the dining room, living room
combination. We went straight to his bedroom. Genie took off his pants and
lay across the bed. I followed suit. Mike sat between us and played with
our soft penises.
      
      Genie sat up and said softly, 'For the right price, Tommy blows.'
      
      'How much?'
      
      'Two dollars.'
      
      'Whew, that's too much. He must be awfully good.'
      
      'Maybe if you let him sleep here, he'll do it for less.'
      
      'Gees, guys, I can't have anybody here these days. Problems with the
landlord. So, two dollars, huh' You real good?'
      
      'He done me. Almost blew my dick off.'
      
      I smiled.
      
      'Okay, but two only if you're real good. You gotta take it all when I
shoot, okay?'
      
      'I nodded but worried what his sperm would taste like. Frank's had a
nasty smell to it.'
      
      He took off his pants and asked me to take off my shirt. His
circumcised cock was hard when it came out of his underwear. It was about
the same size as Frank's but Mike's body was hairier. There wasn't any bare
skin in sight.
      
      I got on the floor between his knees. He had small balls. Maybe there
wouldn't be as much cum as Frank. I took the head in my mouth. It felt
different from those of John and Horace, the two biggest boys at camp, not
just thicker but a bit spongier. Mike lay back.
      
      I sucked on the head for a few moments then went down as far as I
could, two thirds of the shaft. He took a deep breath. Genie grinned at
me. I went up and down then off and down the shaft to where the hair
sprouted from the base. I pulled his cock down and went around it with my
lips gradually going back to the head and sucking him in again.
      
      Mike sat up on his elbows and watched me. I went down and ran my
tongue around the shaft while sucking in my cheeks against the sides. I
figured he'd received enough foreplay and began running my mouth up and
down, sucking hard. He reached out and held onto my shoulders then my
back. He lasted another two minutes. The swelling was more than I
expected. The cock head no longer fit between my upper teeth. It was
difficult to avoid scrapping his skin. He fell back and came. It tasted
awful, and kept coming. I swallowed fast as I could. I concentrated on the
two dollars I would receive, the same as I'd charged for this at camp but
with much sweeter tasting results.
      

      As soon as he started to soften, I stood up and asked for his
bathroom. When rinsing didn't help that much, I took a shot of his Colgate
toothpaste and swirled it around in my mouth while looking at myself in the
mirror. There I was, a muscular whore. I hadn't been away from home for two
weeks and was already homeless and nearly broke. But I was still surviving.
      
      I was also hungry. Mike fed us sandwiches and milk.
      
      I got permission to use my customer's telephone and called Francis.
      
      After telling him what had happened and listening to a stream of
apologies, I asked if he knew of anyone else.
      
      'There's this little kid I met a couple of times who lives near
Frank. Maybe he knows somebody. His name's Sammy and..'
      
      'I know him. I don't think he does. He was with us this afternoon and
didn't say anything. You know a kid named Genie?'
      
      'I met a few of them but I don't know their names. What are you going
to do?'
      
      'I dunno. Tell Martin to tell Freddy I'm gonna call my grandfather
Wednesday afternoon so be there.'
      
      Mike took us back to the Avenue where we were picked up once more but
just for back seat BJ's as Genie called blow jobs. The guy was too smelly
for me to suck and wouldn't have provided shelter anyway. I'd earned three
seventy-five and some food but still had no place to sleep. It was almost
nine o'clock when we got back to the Boulevard near Frank's.
      
      Genie said, 'Looks like you gotta sleep in the park tonight but we'll
find someplace tomorrow.'
      
      'The park, outside' I can't do that. There's gotta be somewhere. I
can sleep on the floor.'
      
      'But Tommy, ain't nobody gonna let you stay at their house aroun'
here. My father'd just throw you out.'



      'What about Dumpy and the others?'
      
      'Them neither but you'll be okay in the park. I slept there
before. Ain't gonna be that cold and the grass is comfortable. Just find
some cardboard and put it around you.'
      
      'Can't you come with me?'
      
      'Naw. I been away from the house since Friday. I gotta get
back. Anyway, I got school tomorrow.'
      
      'I thought your weren't going to go tomorrow.'
      
      'Naw, I better go but we'll find you a place tomorrow, don't
worry. Just stay away from where we were this morning. There's bad kids
down there. Stay up near the woods.' He patted me on the shoulder. 'I gotta
go. Just come to the hustling park tomorrow at about three thirty. And I'll
ask around school for a place too.'
      
      Panic rose inside me. Genie patted me on the shoulder again and
walked away. I was alone, really alone.
      
      I looked up and down the Boulevard in hopes of spotting a man looking
for a nice warm boy. I was available. I walked up and down for what seemed
like hours. No one came by. I considered trying to sneak in to Bobby's but
there were no busses at that hour, or taxis if I could have afforded one. I
walked down the alley where Frank lived and stood in front of his door. I
still had my key. I quietly opened it and went to the sofa.
      
      Frank awakened me in the morning when he went through my pants for
the key. I grabbed his hand, unsure what was happening.
      
      'Gimme the fucken key. I ain't goin' ta jail for you.'
      
      'I looked at his angry face. 'Gimme my money and I'll give you the
key.'
      
      'Hey kid, I can take it.'
      
      I wanted to fight him rather than give in but couldn't afford the
torn clothes the surely would have resulted. I threw it on the floor.
      
      'If I don't have my money Friday, I'm gonna get you Saturday.'
      
      I snatched up my backpack and walked out, swinging the door open
violently.
      
      My stomach asserted itself. I found a diner a few blocks up on a
commercial street and had breakfast for eighty cents. Fearing a policeman
with my picture spotting me, I walked down to the park and sat on the side
of a hill below the woods and watched squirrels chase each other from tree
to tree.
      
      Later, I walked down to the Avenue below the park and bought an apple
and a banana from a horse drawn cart for eight cents then two rolls from a
bakery for five cents. A police car drove by as I was leaving the bakery. I
ducked back inside and feigned looking at their cakes.
      
      At two forty-five, I was in the little triangular park on the
Boulevard sitting behind the lone tree there. A man drove around the park
and nodded at me. I walked to his door.
      
      'Wanna go for a ride?'
      
      'Where to?'
      
      'My place, about fifteen minutes from here.'
      
      'I gotta be back by three thirty.'
      
      He looked at his watch. 'We can make it.'
      
      'How much?'
      
      'Depends.'
      
      'On what?' I looked around his car for evidence he wasn't what he was
supposed to be.
      
      'What you wanna do.'
      
      'Whatta you wanna do?'
      
      He grinned. 'Don't worry, I'm not a cop. Blow job okay?'
      
      'Dollar.'
      
      'Fifty cents.'
      
      'Okay, seventy-five.'
      
      'Get in.'
      
      He drove quickly to a row house just on the other side of
downtown. We did the usual questions and answers. He said his name was
Bill. He seemed a nice enough guy. His small two story brick front row
house looked very lived in with lots of pictures and knick knacks. We went
quickly to his bedroom. I dropped my pants and sat on his bed. He pushed up
my shirt.
      
      'You've got a nice body.'
      
      He pushed me up on the bed and lay on his side head to toe with
me. He pulled my crotch to his face and sucked me in. As he rolled my dick
and balls around in his mouth, his hands slipped around to my behind and
squeezed my cheeks like they were rolls of toilet paper. He used them to
pull me in and out of his mouth. I got the idea and fucked his face. He
rolled on his back. I ended up on top of him with his crotch in my face. A
lump poked up from beneath his fly. I moved my head away and pumped,
wanting to get off as quickly as possible in order to make my appointment
with Genie.
      
      When I came, he stopped sucking and shifted my cock beneath his
tongue and played with my balls.
      
      'Bill, I better get back. I promised my friend I'd be there at three
thirty.'
      
      'You're gonna let me get off, aren't you?'
      
      'How?' I didn't like the tone of his voice.
      
      'I mean, you sound like you're the type to give blow jobs yourself.'
      
      'It's two dollars.'
      
      'I didn't say fuck, I said suck.'
      
      'I know. It's two dollars and we gotta do it fast or I won't have
time. I gotta get back or I won't have any place to sleep tonight.' It fell
out of my mouth. I felt like an idiot but hoped he wouldn't think too much
about it. Of course, he did.
      
      'You a runaway?'
      
      'Look, sir, I've gotta get back. Please take me back.'
      

      He sighed. 'Okay, two dollars.'
      
      I sighed. 'Quick.'
      
      His cock was bigger than Mike's. I got back on top and went down on
him immediately. He twiddled with mine while I worked hard and fast on
his. He licked my perineum. I remembered the shit I'd taken the day before
and imagined my hole wasn't very clean. He must have noticed because his
tongue returned to my balls.
      
      It took him at least five minutes to cum. It was as bad as Mike's but
all I had time for was a quick rinse. According to his wristwatch, we were
back at twenty to four. Genie was waiting. He and Bill knew each other.
      
      I told Genie where I'd slept.
      
      He laughed and said, 'You got balls, I'll give ya that.'
      
      He had no good news on a place to sleep. I wished I'd have asked Bill
until Genie explained that his mother lived there too and worked during the
day. Bill didn't work at all.
      
      Genie told me to hang around the park. He was going to talk to a kid
he knew a few blocks away. 'If you can make some cash, do it. I'll wait.'
      
      No sooner had Genie walked away than a police car drove by. I acted
like I was adjusting my backpack but he didn't seem to take notice of me. I
stood back from the street and watched more for cops than customers.
      
      Two cars drove by and looked, one twice but didn't stop. Genie was
back an hour or so later. The kid wasn't around. We sat on the wall at the
wide end of the park. Two more boys our age joined us. They knew
Genie. They had a date at five. The man came, looked me over and drove off
with the two boys.
      
      Sammy came by on his way home from running an errand.
      
      'You still at Frank's?' he asked.
      
      I told him what had happened and asked if he knew a place I could
sleep for the night, on the floor if necessary.
      
      'Promise not to touch anything and I can let you in the store about
eight or nine. I do my homework there so just knock on the window.'
      
      I wanted to hug him. 'Is there any place I can take a bath or a
shower and wash my clothes?'
      
      'Unh uh. It's just a novelty store. It doesn't have a bathroom or
water.'
      
      I told him I'd be there before nine and returned to hustling in hopes
of finding a man who would trade a good blow job for a shower and use of
his washing machine. It turned out to be more difficult.
      
      He drove a station wagon with wall papering paraphernalia in the
back. Genie explained my needs. The man said he could help, even feed me
but wanted a 'crack at your crack' as he smilingly put it. It took me a
moment to understand. He said his name was John. I guessed him to be forty
to fifty years old but he was bald so I was probably high by half a decade
or more. He wasn't very tall, perhaps five feet eight or nine inches.
      
      'I ain't that big down here,' he said pointing at his crotch as he
drove, 'and I know how to put it in so it don't hurt.'
      
      A look to Genie for advice only brought a brief shoulder shrug. 'I
don't think so,' I said.
      
      There had to be some water someplace where I could wash myself and my
clothes.
      
      This John had a row house on the far side of the city in an area that
looked a lot like where my friend Louis from the YMCA lived, an area where
boys hustled. We drove along the streetcar tracks and passed one that was
headed back to the turnaround down from my house.
      
      He drove into an alley between row houses and pulled into a concrete
back yard behind his. He had us help him unload all his gear and take it
into the basement where I saw his washing machine with its
wringer. Upstairs was sparsely furnished except for the kitchen, which was
quite complete with more electric appliances than ours. The second floor
bedroom was set up for sex. There were mirrors on the ceiling and wall, a
dresser drawer full of pornographic magazines and a jar of Vaseline and
roll of paper towels beside the large bed.
      
      Genie had been there once before. He went straight for one of the
porno magazines. Desperate for a bath and clean clothes, I asked to see the
man's cock. It was no larger than Frank's. John pitched his case.
      
      'First, we use a lot of Vaseline and do it real slow. I can make it
just hard enough to go in then it gets bigger inside you. And I fuck slow
so it don't hurt. Then you can put your clothes in the machine and shower
and we can eat.'
      
      'Can I sleep here tonight?'
      
      'Are the cops looking for ya?'
      
      'Not much.'
      
      'Okay, but just for tonight. You too Genie?'
      
      Genie answered, 'Naw, I gotta go ta school in the morning. Why don't
you do me first so I can get home.'
      
      I got the impression Genie didn't want to be left out of what small
cash earnings were to be had. However, once Genie was gone, I'd be, to a
great extent, at the mercy of this man. Would he stop if it hurt too much?
      
      'Genie,' I suggested, 'why don't you stay a little until we're
done. It won't be that late.'
      
      'Listen, Tommy,' said the man, 'I promise, if it hurts a lot, I'll
stop but I know how to do it so it won't. So don't worry.'
      
      I worried.
      
      He sucked off Genie and took him home. I made sure Genie would
remember to let Sammy know I wouldn't be coming until the next day. With my
clothes in the washer, I took a long hot shower, the best I'd had since
leaving home, then sat around naked looking at uninteresting porno
magazines. Naked women with fur over their vaginas and great hanging
breasts did nothing for me. I wore one of his shirts to cover my naked
genitals while hanging my washed and wrung clothes on a pair of
clotheslines strung across his back porch.
      
      I worried about what was to happen when the man returned.
      
      There was a positive side to this. If I could learn how to take big
cocks in me, I could make more money and arrange a more comfortable, if not
stable, life. Anyhow, my father had taught me how to handle pain.
      
      By the time John returned and took off his clothes, I had a more
positive attitude.
      
      He told me to lie down on my belly while he covered his cock with
Vaseline and spread a finger full between my buns. He lay full on top of me
and put the head of his cock against my hole. He pushed the tip in just
enough so he could take his hand out. He wiped off his fingers with a paper
towel and breathed heavily.
      
      'This makes it get a little smaller,' he explained.
      
      It worked because he had to slide forward bit by bit to maintain the
head in my pucker. Then, he pushed a little more inside. It was
uncomfortable but there was no pain. Even the discomfort disappeared after
a few moments. He waited then pushed again. It was the same. The next time
hurt but not a lot. He waited, all the while maintaining a gentle
pressure. There was a brief spike of pain when the head of his cock popped
inside followed by only mild discomfort. He continued inward. The arrival
at my prostate provided a pleasant mid entry interlude. His cock was
expanding as it went in and stretched my hole and wherever the head was. It
hurt at my anus but merely felt very full elsewhere. His pubic hairs
touched them pressed against my bottom.
      
      'See, what'd I tell you. I'm all the way in. Now we'll wait a little
and let your ass get stretched some more.'
      
      We waited. Even the pain in my anus subsided. John slowly pulled
halfway out then pushed back in.
      
      'That okay?'
      
      'So far.'
      
      He began a slow, rhythmic fucking, sliding out to the head then
pushing completely back in. It wasn't very comfortable but quite
bearable. However, when he got close to orgasm, he would grow.
      
      I remembered the mirror on the wall and looked. There we were. He was
pulling out more than I'd imagined. His ass rose high, his shiny shaft
slipped out, then his ass dropped down and his shaft disappeared inside
me. I tried to imagine where the head was reaching. It had to be around my
bladder or past it. It was quite a sight. It turned me on. My cock grew as
I watched him pump into me. I forgot the slight pain. I noticed he was
watching too. He smiled at me. Then he sped up a little.
      
      'This is the hard part,' he said with a strain, 'but it won't be
long.'
      
      It did begin to hurt. His cock was bloating, my anus stretching
beyond what it was designed for. He continued to watch himself but his eyes
shut occasionally. He made airy grunting sounds with each thrust. My anus
stung with each entry. He gripped my shoulders tightly. His eyes closed. He
went faster then made a sound like he'd been punched in the gut. He began
to cum. Each pulse hurt. I counted them, three, four, five. They became
less pronounced at twelve, thirteen, fourteen, then dissipated along with
the discomfort. He panted beside my ear.
      
      'That was really good, Tommy, really good.'
      
      He lay limp on me until his cock went limp too and was squeezed out
like toothpaste out of a tube. John rolled off me and lay on his back. I
wanted a blow job but was afraid to show him my hard on for fear he might
be rougher next time. Yes, I did expect a next time. I was clean, my
clothes were drying. I had a bed once or twice a week.
      
      We had a dinner of spaghetti and meatballs. The sauce didn't compare
to Bobby's but it was the best meal I'd had in over a week.
      
      I waited half an hour and did my exercises. John thought I was just
messing around until I got to sixty-eight push ups, thirty-two off my high
of a hundred. I needed to get back in shape but that would require better
food than I'd been eating. After a half hour workout, I went for a
run. John assured me it was safe around there. I looked hard for something
familiar that might tell me where Louis' house was but didn't have any
luck.
      
      We were in bed by ten thirty and up at six thirty. He showered and
fixed breakfast. John had to be on a job at eight. I gathered my clothes
off the clothes lines. They weren't completely dry but I had to wear
something.
      
      John dropped me off near a crosstown bus line with fifty cents and an
ass still full of his sperm.
      
      I went to the park then had lunch and took a crap in the diner where
I'd eaten breakfast the day before. At three, I was across the street from
Sammy's house. He came past me with his book bag in his hand, his blonde
hair gleaming in the sun. His mind must have been somewhere else because he
was startled when I called his name.
      
      'What were you thinking about,' I asked.
      
      'You,' he smiled. 'You staying with me tonight?'
      
      'Unh huh. I need to make some money and eat but I'll be there before
nine, promise.'
      
      He smiled a beautiful smile.
      
      My first customer took me to eat at a diner after we'd blown each
other and paid me the dollar fifty plus meal we negotiated.
      
      The next John, that's what he said his name was, was a cool number
who seemed to know everyone and the scene all over. He drove me across town
to Louis' sector where I'd slept the night before and showed me the various
hustling spots, all populated with boys looking to be picked up by
men. There seemed to be much more action on that side of town. John took me
to a motel and I showed my appreciation.
      
      At eight thirty-five by the clock in the back of the Sammy's aunt's
novelty store, I tapped on the glass. Sammy was at the counter writing in
his notebook. He pointed behind him. There was a side door. He opened it
and invited me in.
      
      He'd made a bed of coats and blankets behind the counter. I gave him
the hug I'd felt inhibited giving him in front of Genie then helped him
with his math homework. He offered to sneak me into his bathtub. His aunt
went to bed at nine every night. Sensing more than a bath and needing one,
I was happy to accept. We undressed silently while the tub filled. He had
an erection. Mine was sympathetic. He seemed embarrassed by it. He looked
so fragile yet so beautiful. He exuded a need to be protected. We got into
the tub pretty much as Martin and I had, at opposite ends with legs between
each other's, one of mine at his crotch, one of his at mine. I massaged
his, he massaged mine. We washed each other, edging closer as we did. While
washing his back, I put my arms around him and embraced his soapy body to
mine. He put his hands behind him and pulled my waist toward him. He stood
on his toes and arched his bottom. I bent my knees, reached down,
positioned my soapy penis at his anus and pushed up, slipping right inside
him. The heat was immediate. He moved his rear up and down and side to
side. This wasn't his first time.
      
      I pumped slowly. Due to our height difference, it was a bit
awkward. I moved my hands down below his stiff dick and pulled up on his
perineum. He pushed down on my hips. I thrust harder into him, bumping him
upward each time. I felt his orgasm with my fingers between his legs and
with my cock through his anal contractions. I was only seconds away. I
almost fell over when the rush of my climax shot through my brain,
temporarily disabling other connections.
      
      When I pulled out, he turned and gave me a smile that could've melted
stainless steel. We finished washing, rinsed and dried off. He had made the
makeshift bed in the store just wide enough for the two of us.
      
      'Want me to sleep down here with you? I've got my alarm clock to wake
us up at six thirty. My aunt gets up then but you'll have at least half an
hour before she might come downstairs.'
      
      Neither of us mentioned what had gone on in the tub. He lay in front
of me, in his underwear, and backed tightly against me. I put my arms
around him. He embraced them. Why I felt so hesitant, so inhibited in
asking him the big question is a mystery but I lay there with it sitting on
my tongue. But my lips stayed closed like a bank after hours. It was nice,
though. His body was almost weightless in my arms. I'd never slept with
someone smaller than me except, of course, Dickie and Georgie who was about
the same height as Sammy but tougher and definitely heavier. Dickie and I
slept in a sixty-nine position. I'd never felt so older brotherly toward a
boy before as I did with Sammy. I kissed his blonde hair several times
before drifting off to sleep. I awakened in the same position twelve
minutes ahead of his alarm. He was already awake.
      
      'Good morning,' he said when he felt me stir.
      
      'Good morning.'
      
      He rolled over in my arms and smiled his wonderful smile. I had to
kiss his soft lips. He kissed back briefly then waited, staring at me with
those beautiful blues. His lips were like powerful magnets. His eyes closed
before I lost sight of them. We didn't really French, just did a lot of lip
pressing and sucking and body grinding. Just as I reached between us for
his hard on, the alarm went off, breaking the magic. He reached back and
hit the little button.

      
      'I gotta go upstairs so my aunt will think I slept there. You coming
back tonight?'
      
      'Absolutely.'
      
      He pecked at my lips twice and got up. We gathered the coats and
blankets and he took them upstairs. I dressed and left with my backpack. A
strange but very comfortable feeling buoyed my spirits, like something very
special had just happened but something I had to protect, to preserve.
      
      My target that morning was the large park in the east side of the
city where I'd been shown so many hustling points the day before. I took a
bus I thought went across town but that turned south as it entered the
downtown area. I got off and walked up a few blocks, asking as I went for
the streetcar from my part of town that I knew would take me where I wanted
to go. It was an eight block walk.
      
      From the streetcar window ten minutes after boarding, still a few
blocks from the park, I noticed a restaurant with lots of people inside and
walked back there for breakfast.
      
      The park was smaller than I had thought, only about five blocks long
and three blocks bottom to top. Partially hidden by a tree, I sat
overlooking the avenue where the streetcar passed. There was a lot of
traffic in both directions. Bored sitting, I walked from one end to the
other close enough to the avenue to be seen from a car driving by but not
so close I couldn't get away into the park if I saw a police vehicle. It
was nearly noon before I saw any kids at all but they seemed to be going
somewhere.
      
      I went back to the same restaurant for lunch. The waitress eyed me
suspiciously.
      
      'Aren't you supposed to be in school?'
      
      'I was.'
      
      'Well, school isn't out yet, dearie.'
      

      'Is for me.'
      
      She took my order but never smiled.
      
      It was after two before a man looked at me. He stopped by the corner
of the park and waited, watching me through his rear view mirror. Concerned
about truant officers more than anyone else, I stayed where I was. He left
but came by a few minutes later in the opposite direction and nodded at me
to follow him. He turned at the next corner and pulled over. I walked
slowly to him.
      
      'Out of school early?' he asked.
      
      'Unh huh.'
      
      'Wanna go for a ride?'
      
      'Where?'
      
      'Down by the rail yards.'
      
      'What for?'
      
      'You hustling?'
      
      'What's that?'
      
      'Sorry, I thought you were someone else.' He started to pull away.
      
      I tapped on his door. 'Wait, yeh, I'm hustling. I just didn't know if
you were, you know. How much?'
      
      'Fifty cents.'
      
      'Mmm, nah. I need a buck.'
      
      'You do anything?'
      
      He looked clean. 'Yeh, but it costs more.'
      
      'Whatta you do?'
      
      'Suck for two.'
      
      'That all?'
      
      'Like what?'
      
      'You know, fuck.'
      
      'Depends on how big you are and that's three if I can.'
      
      'Get in.'
      
      We went to his nice row house outside the city. There were no mirrors
but he did have a white cream that he said was 'plenty slippery'. His cock
was roughly the same size as John's.
      
      'You lie down and I'll sit on it,' I said.
      
      He put the cream on his cock and my hole. I sat facing him. There was
impatience in his face but I insisted on taking my time. The circumcised
head was larger than John's and hurt when it finally popped in past my
pucker. He pushed up into me as I lowered myself down his shaft. Vaseline
would have been better.
      
      He wanted me to lie down.
      
      'This hurts some already. Lying down would be worse. Let's do it this
way.'
      
      I used my finger tips on the backs of my calves to hold myself in
position as he pumped up into me. The discomfort eased over time but my
dick didn't get hard. He appeared to be enjoying it. His eyes were
closed. His fingers gripped my thighs right above the knees. His upper
teeth rested on his lower lip. His face began to distort like he was taking
a difficult shit. The pain, though, was in my ass, not his. He fucked
faster. His cock expanded. I bit my lower lip. He pushed up hard, almost
knocking me over, and climaxed. Every pulse stretched my anus. It felt like
he was tearing flesh.
      
      He pulled me down with him until I was sitting on his groin, his cock
head up against my bladder or a kidney. The pain eased as his cock went
limp. My entrance still stung. I wasn't going to let anyone else fuck me
for a couple of days.
      
      'Wanna get sucked?' he asked after I was allowed to lift off him.
      
      'No thanks.' I didn't want a climax squeezing my tender anus.
      
      He let me use his telephone. I called my grandparents.
      
      'Oh Malcolm, dear, we are so worried about you. Where are you?'
      
      'I'm okay. You don't have to worry.'
      
      'Well, dear, we are. You must go home. Something terrible could
happen to you. Are you staying in a house?'
      
      'Don't worry, granma, I'm fine. I'm staying with someone.'
      
      'But, dear, what about school' You've missed over two weeks of
school?'
      
      'Granma, I'm not going to some school in Ohio. I'm not going away
from my friends and you. Is Freddy there?'
      
      'Yes.' I heard her tell Freddy to try to talk some sense to me.
      
      'Malcolm! Where are you?'
      
      'I'm around, not that far away. I miss you.' I felt tears rising.
      
      'I miss you too. You okay? You're not sleeping on the sidewalk or
no..., anything?' He had to keep up his grammar in front of my grandmother,
his teacher.
      
      'Not yet. I've met some people who are helping me. I still gotta move
around some but I'm eating okay. What's going on?'
      
      'Cops talking to everybody and that detective but not since last
week. That detective's got people looking for you. I think he's watching
all of us so you better not come over to anybody's house.' He paused. I
heard grandmother speaking to him. 'Aunt Claire, wait, Malcolm, here's
Uncle George.'
      
      'Malcolm, son. Where are you?'
      
      I realized I'd been on the phone too long.
      
      'Granpa, I gotta hang up but I'm okay. I love all of you. Bye.'
      
      I pushed down the buttons in the cradle. The tears kept coming for a
few minutes. The man was dressing, watching me sit on the bed with my back
to him. He came and sat beside me. There was no hiding the wet spots on my
pants.
      
      'You're a runaway, aren't you?'
      
      I nodded.
      
      'If you wanna go home, I can take you close.'
      
      I shook my head.
      
      'Well, if you change your mind, just tell me, okay? You hungry?'
      
      He fed me leftover chicken and warmed up mashed potatoes and
succotash.
      
      I scored again from the same spot getting a blow job inside an empty
warehouse the man had a key to. It was near five when he dropped me off
half a block from the park. Two slightly older boys saw me get out of the
man's car and walked up to me as I was pulling on my backpack. They were
smiling but I didn't see any good will. One spoke while the other walked to
the far side of me.
      
      'Made yourself some money?'
      
      'No, I was hitchhiking. He gave me a ride.'
      
      'Bullshit. You ain't from around here. How much you got? Let's see
it.'
      
      I ran at the boy between me and the park. He was ready but
underestimated my strength. He tried to push me down when I put my shoulder
into his chest but I lifted him off the ground and drove him back. He lost
his balance and fell. I kept running, making it to the avenue before my
pursuer.
      
      He stopped and called out, 'See you later, punk!'
      
      I'd have to talk to Sammy about keeping my knapsack except when I was
going to wash my clothes, and hold some of my money. And, I'd have to avoid
side streets. I walked toward a business district past the park and up a
long hill. A group of boys were sitting in the deep-set windows of a large
stone bank, watching cars go by. They couldn't have been more obvious if
they'd been carrying signs. Either the people in the area were very unaware
of man-boy sex or just didn't mind.
      
      I went across the street and watched. Cars stopped at the light waved
boys to them. Boys got in or didn't. A couple chased a car around the
corner and didn't come back. When there were only two, I walked across and
leaned against the wall. The boys looked at me then each other and
shrugged. A man in a new model car drove by looking at me but the light was
green. He came by again a few minutes later and waved me to him. As I
stepped forward, a hand pulled me back. I yanked away and turned. It was
one of the boys.
      
      He stepped back. 'Easy. That guy don't pay.' He gave the man the
finger. The man frowned.
      
      I said, 'Sorry, thanks.'
      
      The boy walked back to his spot; I went to mine.
      
      Somebody they knew came by and held up his index finger. They pushed
and shoved at each other. The one who had advised me got into the car.
      
      The driver of an older car drove by checking me out but kept
going. Two more boys about my age came and sat in the window beside
mine. They looked at me and nodded then turned back to the street. A bald
fat man about fifty with gray in his sideburns waved me around the
corner. I looked at the partner of the boy who'd advised me. He nodded
okay.
      
      It started out as a blowjob but ended up with his dick between my
legs in exchange for a diner dinner and a dollar. I asked to be let off on
the other side of the city. He grumbled about time but took me within a few
blocks of Sammy's.
      
      It was only seven thirty but Sammy was inside studying. He let me in
and I helped him. Genie had been by looking for me and would be in the park
the next day at three thirty. We bathed then made love in the makeshift
bed. After fucking him, I asked Sammy if he wanted me to do him. He smiled
and said, 'I already came. Couldn't you tell?'
      
      His speech with me was much better than that he'd spoken on the
street, definitely better than the other boys.
      
      'You're not from around here, are you?'
      
      He told me he was from a middle class area southwest of the city.
      
      'Are you like me?' I couldn't say the word queer or homosexual.
      
      He looked away from me for a moment. 'I think so. The others don't
know, except Genie. He's done me back there, too.' He pointed toward his
behind.
      
      'Where? Here?'
      
      'No, he took me down to Frank's one day and did it while Frank was
with another boy.'
      
      'Just once?'
      
      'Mmm hmm.'
      
      'A man did me back there today, but he paid me three dollars and gave
me some food.'
      
      'Did it hurt?'
      
      'Yeah, but not too bad. It was worth it.'
      
      'How do they do it?'
      
      I told him about John's method and how I'd done it that afternoon.
      
      'You think I could do it?'
      
      'I don't know. Depends on how big your hole is.'
      
      'How do you know?'
      
      'I dunno, probably just by trying bigger and bigger dicks.'
      
      'Can you tell by looking at it?'
      
      'Maybe by sticking my finger in.'
      
      He got up and turned on the light then got on his knees and bent
over. We had both been naked under the blanket. I looked. His hole looked
normal for his size. I sat on my feet behind him, wet my finger well with
my mouth and pushed it into his hole. Entry was easy, much as it had been
for my peter. I pulled down. It opened up a little above my finger.

      
      'Let me try two fingers.'
      
      He didn't say anything or move. I stuck my middle finger in my mouth
and lubed it then put that finger in, pulled down and stuck my index finger
in above it. I tried opening them but had to push almost completely inside
to accomplish it. An idea popped into my head: two fingers, separate
hands. I pulled the two out, lubed my other index finger and put them in
one at a time, one over the other then turned them side by side and pulled
them apart. It was very tight.
      
      'Relax your hole,' I said.
      
      'I am.'
      
      I pulled harder.
      
      'Ouch.'
      
      I waited a moment to let his anus stretch. I pulled again. It opened
a bit more leaving a half inch long opening between my fingers. I held that
for a couple of minutes then tried again.
      
      'Ouch.'
      
      I took one finger out and pushed the other as deep as I could,
seeking his prostate. I felt a small lump and massaged it.
      
      'How's that?'
      
      'Feel my dick and you'll know.'
      
      I felt it with my little finger to avoid spreading the smelly residue
on my index finger. He was solid. 'Lie down and turn over.'
      
      He did. I kept my finger inside and went down on him. He came in two
minutes.
      
      We went upstairs quietly and washed ourselves.
      
      Between Thursday afternoon and five o'clock Friday, I made seven
dollars and seventy-five cents. It had been a lot easier and more
profitable at Camp McFarlane.
      
      Genie and I waited for Frank to come home with his paycheck. He
didn't. After checking his favorite hangouts unsuccessfully, we hustled.
      
      Saturday was more profitable than Thursday and Friday together though
requiring a lot of mouthwork. That evening, I stopped by and picked up my
backpack from Sammy and made my eight o'clock date set up Thursday with
John, the paperhanger from the east side. First I put my clothes in the
washing machine then had a relaxed steak dinner. Mike regaled me with
stories of his years picking up boys all over the city. After dinner I put
my clothes through the wringer and hung them on the back porch, again
covering myself with one of John's shirts. Finally, I watched myself being
fucked by the master. Other than at the very end when he thickened and
stretched my poor anus to its limit, it wasn't so bad. He sucked me and we
went to sleep. Sunday morning, after a breakfast of French toast with
honey, he left me alone and took his aging mother to church. He came back
at eleven and showed me the best places to hustle Sundays on his side of
town. Two of my three scores were repeats. I arrived at Sammy's with
eighteen dollars more than I'd had Friday.
      
      Genie and I searched unsuccessfully for Frank Sunday evening. No one
had seen him since mid week. He had disappeared and so had my money.
      
      I called my grandfather Wednesday night in hopes Freddy would be
spending the night. He'd stayed in hopes I'd call.
      
      There was no new news although my grandfather was trying to work
something out with my father for me to return to my school.
      
      Thursday, I found another man who would let me use his washing
machine and shower. This one just required a blowjob. Unfortunately, I only
had the clothes I was wearing and had to go to Sammy's damp.
      
      The weekend was again very profitable. I spent Saturday night with
John the paperhanger.
      
      Monday, Genie introduced me to a man who, he said, had a small cock
and paid as much as five dollars for a good fuck. He used cooking oil and
paid three. Genie fucked me afterward and complained he couldn't feel
anything.
      
      Tuesday, I called Francis and asked him to arrange through Martin a
Sunday meeting on the east side with Freddy. When I called him back Friday,
he told me Freddy would be there at ten thirty and that my grandparents had
some news. I was on an east side payphone so felt a five minute call would
be safe. Even if they traced the call, I'd be long gone before anyone could
arrive.
      
      My grandfather said, 'Your father says he would be willing to sit and
discuss the school situation but you've got to come home.'
      
      'Granpa, I'm never going to live with him again.'
      
      'Son, you've been out of school for almost a month. This can't go on
or you're going to lose a year of your life. I don't know what you're doing
to live out there or who you're living with but you are just making a bad
situation worse. The people helping you are breaking the law and will
suffer when they find you. Don't kid yourself, they are going to find you
sooner or later. I just hope it won't be because you've been hurt or
worse. And if you're doing something illegal to survive, you can end up in
a reformatory far worse than a boarding school.
      
      'And there is something else you don't seem to be considering. Your
mother is a nervous wreck worrying about you and your grandmother isn't
much better. I want you to call your mother right now and talk to
her. Don't worry about anyone listening in or tracing your call, nobody's
doing that. The police are just waiting for you to show up.'
      
      It did make me feel badly but didn't affect my determination not to
return. I braced myself for hysterics and called my mother. My father
answered.
      
      'Malcolm, where are you?'
      
      'I wanna talk to my mother.'
      
      'To hell with you.' He hung up.
      
      I waited five minutes expecting mother would figure out who had
called and stand by the phone. She answered, already crying.
      
      'Malcolm, please come home. I'm so worried about you. Something
terrible is going to happen, I know. Please come home, dear. I won't let
him send you away.'
      
      'Mom, I'm okay. Don't worry but I can't trust him ever. If I can live
with granpa and granma, I'll do that but never with him.'
      
      'Oh, please,' she cried, 'I can't sleep at night worrying about
you. I just know something terrible is going to happen to you. There are so
many bad people out there. Please, for me, come home or just tell me where
you are and I'll come and get you. Please.'
      
      I finally had to hang up. She kept repeating the same things. 'Don't
worry, mom. I'm safe. I gotta go. Bye.' She was pleading but I didn't dare
stay on the line any longer no matter what my grandfather felt the police
weren't doing.
      
      Sunday at ten, with the paperhanger's sperm in my butt, I was up the
street from our meeting place. Freddy arrived ten minutes early according
to the clock inside the jewelry shop whose entryway I was using. I was
wearing new clothes and a baseball cap I'd bought the day before. My
knapsack was full of the damp clothes I'd washed the previous evening. I
walked down the street with my head down. He knew it was me well before I
reached him. I led him at a trot to the park where I could see if anyone
was following us.
      
      It wasn't the best place. Freddy was the only Negro there and was
hugging me. Everyone nearby stared at us. We walked back to the avenue and
headed in toward the poorer commercial area.
      
      After assuring him I was fine and hearing news from Martin's
neighborhood, I asked what he knew about my situation with the police and
detectives.
      
      'I don't think anybody's looking for you. Your granpa said something
about your father getting rid of that detective and the cops ain't been
around for a couple weeks but don't go anywhere around Martin's or
Bobby's. That detective gave everybody your picture and told 'em there's a
reward if they see you. Who you living with?'
      
      'A few places but mostly with this kid.' I told him about Sammy and
his aunt without mentioning the sex, but, as usual, Freddy knew.
      
      'You two doin' stuff?' He always knew.
      
      'Some.'
      
      'He's fucking you.'
      
      I grinned. 'Unh uh. I'm doing it to him. He's like me.'
      
      He wanted details. I wanted to hold him, have him hold me. It was
difficult to maintain the happy go lucky appearance as I told him about
Sammy and me.
      
      'How much money you got left?'
      
      'Not much. The guy I stayed with stole it all.'
      
      'Three hundred dollars?'
      
      'Three hundred seventy.'
      
      'That boy Sammy feeding you too?'
      
      'No. I'm hustling.'
      
      'What's that?'
      
      I filled him in on the hustling scene.
      
      'That sounds real dangerous to me, Maacum. What're you gonna do if
you get one of those crazy motherfuckers likes to hurt people?'
      
      'I'm careful. Don't worry. Anyhow, I gotta eat.'
      
      We turned down a broad divided boulevard.
      
      'Everybody's real worried about you, Maacum. Me too. They's gotta be
a way fo' you ta go home.'
      
      'I can't, Freddy. He'll just send me to that boarding school. It's
military. It'll be like being in jail. And I won't be able to see you.'
      
      'Yo' granddaddy thinks he can talk yo papa outta doin' that. An' yo'
mama said she ain't gonna let him.'
      
      'My father does what he wants. He doesn't care what anybody else
says. He promised my mother he was never going to hit me plenty of times
but he always does it, or tries. I gave him a few good ones that last
time. I hope it really hurt.'
      
      Freddy walked silently for a block, his hands in his pockets, eyes to
the sidewalk. I put my arm over his shoulder. He felt thicker, more
muscular.


      
      'You're getting bigger,' I commented.
      
      'It's all that good food Aunt Claire feeds me, and Martin's mama
too. They tryin' ta get me fat.' He grinned at me. 'Please come home with
me, Maacum. Somethin's gonna happen, I know it.'

      

      'I can't Freddy. Not yet. I can't go back with him. Only if I can
live with you or my grandparents.'
      
      He put his arm over my shoulder. The harbor was ahead of us. We
walked to the edge of a wharf and sat with our feet out over the water
eight feet below.
      
      'I wish we had a boat with a bedroom and a kitchen,' said Freddy
wistfully. 'We could get on it and go somewheah, just us.'
      
      We talked about such a craft and the places we could go, how we could
use it to make a living. I bought carry out lunches at a small restaurant
near the water. We ate there on the wharf. Freddy's sadness tore at my
soul. He begged me to go with him. I almost did but the specter of that
boarding school held me back. There were tears in both our eyes as he
boarded the streetcar alone.
      
      I scored with a man and blew him but it was all very mechanical. I
wasn't very good company, not even with Sammy.
      
      'What's wrong?' he asked.
      
      'It's my best friend. We really love each other. I saw him today for
the first time in a month. I miss him so much.'
      
      We didn't make love that night. It seemed wrong, disloyal.
      
      Unable to sleep, I fantasized terrible things that could happen to my
father, all ending with his death and my mother and I living with my
grandparents. I knew my mother wouldn't be happy without her friends coming
over to play cards and gossip but she could go to their houses.
      
      In the morning, I walked down to the woods bordering the park and
tried to sleep some more but it was too cool. I went up to a commercial
street north of the area. There was a Goodwill used clothes and furnishings
store where Frank told me he had bought his sofa. I bought a slightly large
coat for two dollars.
      
      The rest of the week was boring. I spent the morning and midday hours
in the park and other areas I'd been told were safe from truant
officers. Tuesday afternoon, I took Genie to the east side. We scored three
times. The last man paid four dollars to fuck me using Vaseline I insisted
he buy at a Read's drug store. It hurt but Genie was watching so I stayed
tough, not even biting my knuckle.
      
      Several times, calling my grandparents was on my mind but having to
refuse their plea that I come home made it easier to move on. I thought a
lot about Freddy. It was Wednesday before I could make love with Sammy.
      
      He became my anchor. He was so sweet, so loving. Even the nights when
I couldn't get hard, he held me and kissed me, never complaining about the
lack of attention, my sullenness. Saturday morning, even though my clothes
really needed washing, I lay wishing I didn't have to sleep that night with
John, that I could return to Sammy's tender embrace.
      
      Saturday, along with Genie and a few others, Sammy and I went with
Bill on a canoe trip. We cooked hot dogs over an open fire. Bill pulled me
aside and spoke to me about my situation.
      
      'Tommy, you're a really bright boy. You need to go to college one day
and here you're out of school after just the sixth grade. I don't know why
you've run away but there must be a way to straighten all this out. Why
don't you tell me about it? Maybe I can help.'
      
      Sammy, sitting beside me, said,' Tell him, Tommy.'
      
      Having Sammy call me a name that wasn't mine was a wall between
us. Every time he used it I wanted to tell him my real name but worried he
might use it in front of others. He put his arm around my waist and
embraced me. 'Tell him,' he repeated.
      
      'My father wants to send me to a boarding school far away. My
father's a son-of-a-bitch. He hates my friends and calls me a
faggot. There's nothing you can do.'
      
      Bill stared at his hands. 'Don't you have relatives who could let you
stay with them?'
      
      'My father won't even let me visit my grandparents.'
      
      'Why not?'
      
      'They let my friend come to their house. My grandmother teaches him
and his little sister.'
      
      'Why doesn't your father like you friend?'
      
      'He's a Negro.'
      
      'Just that?'
      
      'Yes.'
      
      'Is he like you, I mean, sexually?'
      
      'He's not homosexual, if that's what you mean.'
      
      Bill thought some more. 'Does your family go to a church?'
      
      'Yes. My father had one of the priests there try to change me
normal.'
      
      'Did, uh, oh boy.' He leaned back on his elbows. 'Have you talked to
your grandparents?'
      
      'Yes, they want me to go home. Everybody thinks they can get him to
not send me but I know him. Anyhow, they don't have to live with him, just
me.'
      
      'What's your mother say about all this?'
      
      'He doesn't care what she says and she's afraid of him. At least, she
always does what he says.'
      
      Sammy squeezed me and put his head on my shoulder.
      
      'Let me think about this, Tommy,' said Bill. 'There's got to be a way
for you to go to school.'

      He was to get back to me Thursday or Friday.
      
      I spent the night with my paperhanger friend. It was becoming a
ritual. Wash clothes, eat dinner, hang up the clothes, shower, get fucked,
go to bed.
      
      Sunday, another of the men took me and a boy I met in the bank window
to a movie after blowing and getting blown. I got fucked again later for
three dollars. It was the first time I'd been fucked two days in a row. It
hurt but not too much, and earned me over a day's food money. I had nearly
fifty dollars stashed in Sammy's aunt's store.
      
      Monday, I went back to the Goodwill Store and bought three books and
began reading to Sammy.
      
      Tuesday night, I called Francis from a man's house.
      
      'Malcolm, Freddy's got to talk to you. Maybe you can go home. It's
all Martin could tell me. He wants to know when he can come see you.'
      
      Hurting Freddy again by refusing to go home with him was almost too
painful to consider, but not seeing him was worse. 'Tell him to come again
Sunday, same place at ten thirty again.'
      
      'He doesn't want to wait until Sunday.'
      
      'He's gotta go to school and work.'
      
      'After school. Any day, well, except tomorrow, I suppose. It's real
important. How about Thursday?'
      
      'Okay, tell him four o'clock, same place.'
      
      'Martin says Freddy thinks everything's going to be okay now and we
all want to see you again, especially Martin, and Victor. They really miss
you. We all do.'
      
      Thoughts of living with my grandparents filled my mind and created
hope, then fear pushed it aside, fear that this was going to be something I
couldn't agree to. I gradually dipped into depression, certain that nothing
was going to work out, that this was going to be another great
disappointment for Freddy.  I couldn't think of any conditions under which
I'd go back to my father or under which my father would allow me to live
with my grandparents. Unless, of course, if something had happened to my
father. But Francis would have heard of that and told me. No, this was
going to be another unhappy parting for Freddy and me.
      
      That night, I all but accepted life as a prostitute, even planned how
to seek better heeled clients, have my own place.
      
      Wednesday, I began hustling on the east side at two o'clock, going
out with four different men, sucking the second and third and being unable
to cum for the fourth, before going home to Sammy. All were repeat
customers. Sammy quickly felt the lack of passion in my kisses.
      
      'You're so sad the last couple nights, Tommy, what's wrong?'
      
      I hated Tommy. 'Don't ever say this in front of anyone else. My
name's Malcolm.'
      
      He kissed my cheek. 'Malcolm. That sounds smart, like you.'
      
      I said, 'Everybody wants me to go home but none of them have to take
all that shit from my father. My best friend's going to meet me tomorrow
and that's what he wants, and I gotta say no and he's gonna be crying and
me too. God, I hate my father!'
      
      Sammy tried blowing me but I couldn't get more than partially
erect. He slid up my body and held me. I held him but couldn't sleep for a
long time. Sammy awakened me when the alarm didn't. We kissed for a few
moments. I went to the diner for breakfast. I bought a newspaper and took
it to the park with me. I read every comic, even the ones like Little Lulu
that I didn't like and Mary Worth and Mark Trail with bits of stories I
knew nothing about. There was a lot of political news with the presidential
election only a few weeks away.
      
      I wasn't hungry midday so went to the east side and walked down by
the harbor, ducking behind cars and trees when police cars went by. Time
dragged on. I went into a restaurant and ate to do something. It cost me
almost two dollars but I didn't care.
      
      The avenue was crowded with kids going home from school when I headed
toward my rendezvous point with Freddy. I watched for pretty boys to
distract myself but none caught my fancy.
      
      A man I'd blown a couple of times passed slowly by but I shook my
head then wished I hadn't. There was plenty of time and it would have been
a lot better than standing around. He probably found another boy as he
didn't come by again.
      
      Freddy arrived at three thirty, half an hour early. He was excited.
      
      As we walked down the Avenue, he said, 'Las' week, yo' mama came to
see yo' granfolks. They went ina the kitchen. I ran upstairs and inta the
back where they's that metal thing in the flo' wheah the hot air goes, you
know, that goes to the kitchen? Well, ah listened.'
      
      He walked partially in front of me, turning sideways toward me as he
talked.
      
      'Yo' daddy's in trouble with those men that's s'posed to give him all
that money 'cause he said he was gonna send you to that boahdin' school and
you ain't theah and you ain't in the house neithah. So, they know you ran
away and they ain't gonna give yo' daddy nothin' 'til he gots you so he's
gotta get you back into the house o' he don't get no money and they said if
you say anything about that kid Washburn they're gonna make sure yo' daddy
don't get no mo' work from the gov'ment an' that's all he gots, right?'
      
      He moved back along side me and put his arm over my shoulder and
spoke almost into my ear.
      
      'So, yo' daddy moved yo' do' back wheah it was in yo' bedroom an' he
says all you gotta do is do yo' cho's an the res' a the time is yo's an' he
ain't gonna do nothin' 'bout you runnin' away o' nothin'. Whatta you think
about that?' He squeezed my shoulder.
      
      I didn't know what to think. 'You sure he moved the door?'
      
      'Yo' mama even said that ta me aftah when she told me ta talk ta
you. She tole me ta tell you that. C'mon, Maacum, let's go home to yo'
grandaddy's house. He'll tell you too.'
      
      Distrust spun around in my head but was circled by hope that the
Washburn business was my salvation. If it was true that he'd lose all his
business if I said anything, I had power over him. He wouldn't dare do
anything I didn't like or I could ruin him. The idea was too delicious to
taste. The idea that I could possibly have the upper hand over him seemed
too good to be true. There was a strong temptation to just get on the
streetcar and go with Freddy but a nagging fear that all this was just
that, too good to be true, held back my trust. If it wasn't true, I could
be on a bus to the boarding school in a matter of hours. But, I could just
get off the bus and run away again. I had plenty of money to get back to
Sammy's.
      
      Sammy. I'd have to leave Sammy. Right then, my feeling for him became
clear, like a huge pink neon sign, a heart with an arrow and Malcolm loves
Sammy over and under it. I loved Sammy. Sammy loved me. I loved
Freddy. Freddy loved me. They lived worlds apart, at opposite ends of the
city, at opposite ends of my life. What was I going to do?
      
      Freddy still had his arm over my shoulder. I reached up and took his
hand. Was I going to have to make a choice? Much as it hurt, I'd have to
take Freddy. But it would hurt Sammy. He'd told me things that were secrets
from the rest of the world. He'd come to rely on me being with him each
night. Maybe I could take him with me, make that a condition for me to come
back. But if it were all a lie, allowing them to meet Sammy would remove my
safe haven away from home.
      
      I had to have time to think all this out. I couldn't go back
immediately. I stopped and looked at Freddy.
      
      'I gotta think first. Anyhow my things are at Sammy's house. Please,
I'll call in the morning. Wait 'til tomorrow. I promise I'll call.'
      
      'But, you gotta come home tomorrow, Maacum. Come to yo'
grandaddy's. I won't go to work. No, I won't go to school. I'll wait but
you gotta come, please.'
      
      It was another tear filled parting. As he stepped up onto the
streetcar, I took the weight off one foot, debating with myself if I should
follow him, get on too, take the leap and go to my grandparents. My heart
stopped me but also sent my hand forward to Freddy's. He stopped and looked
back, sudden hope in his tear filled eyes. He sighed when he realized I
wasn't coming.
      
      'C'mon, boy', ordered the streetcar driver.
      
      I let go. Freddy turned away and was gone.
      
      I stepped back to the curb and sat on it. A man looked back at me,
scowling, as he crossed the street. I was too distressed inside to react.
      
      How could I so love a boy I'd only met a few weeks before, love him
so much that I could miss even one night with Freddy. Still, I had to go
see Sammy, talk to him, explain why I was leaving, find a way for him to
continue to be a part of my life.
      
      I walked clear across town. It wasn't planned, just happened. I just
started walking, thinking about what I would, could, should do. Trusting my
father to keep his word was not as important as my ability to escape if he
didn't. Unless I was sent to a reformatory, that didn't seem a
problem. Since I'd run away, the reformatory did seem a possibility but I
had confidence my grandfather and mother could and would prevent that. All
my clothes would stay with Sammy in case I had to run again. The money
would stay with me in case it was needed to get back to him. That meant
keeping Sammy and everything about where I'd been a secret from everyone
except my closest friends like Freddy, Bobby, Martin and Francis, all of
whom already knew and had kept the secret.
      
      If all went well, I could somehow arrange to have Sammy become a part
of my life. The problem was how Freddy would feel about it. Sammy wasn't
Martin or Bobby who were friends with whom I had sex. He'd quickly see that
my feelings for Sammy were far stronger than with the others. Would he
consider this a threat to our friendship? I wasn't even sure myself where
it might go. I did love Sammy very much. In fact, he occupied my thoughts
as much if not more than Freddy. Losing him was unthinkable.
      
      By the time I walked up to Sammy's, the decision had been made to go
to my grandparent's in the morning. I'd listen to what they had to say. I
had my conditions. My father had to basically stay out of my life. I'd do
my chores but the rest of my non-school time was mine. I could go to my
grandparents any time I wanted. I didn't worry about beatings because I
just didn't think he'd try that again. First, I was strong enough to hurt
him. Second, he had too much to lose to risk me running away again.
      
      It was still early. Sammy's aunt was in the store. I went to a diner
for what was possibly my last meal as a runaway.
      
      The store was empty when I returned. Sammy didn't appear for nearly
an hour though it seemed like four. I went over and over my speech about
how much I loved him and that, no matter what, I would be back.
      
      His face lit up when I tapped on the window. We embraced inside the
door.
      
      'So?' he asked.
      
      We sat on the floor behind the counter. I told him everything Freddy
told me and was completely open about my thoughts regarding preserving him
as a safe refuge in case things didn't work out.
      
      'If my father sends me to a boarding school, it'll be real soon,
Monday at the latest because Monday I have to go to my other school. If he
sends me away, I'll get off the bus first chance I get and come back
here. Nobody can know about you yet but I promise I will come back to
you. I love you.'
      
      Sammy literally fell on me, wrapped his arms around me. 'I love you
too.'
      
      I lay on the floor. He pulled himself up on me and kissed me
passionately. 'I love you,' he said again and again, hardly taking his lips
off mine. I wondered if I should be leaving, that perhaps I should just
stay with him and never go home. His body against mine, his lips on mine
felt so warm and secure like nothing I'd ever experienced before. He made
me feel good about myself.
      
      I helped him with his homework, occasionally kissing his cheek,
sitting as tight against him as possible while still allowing him to
write. We bathed. He lay on top of me in the warm water, kissing and
caressing my hair and face. When I washed his back, we ended up as we had
that wonderful first night, with my penis inside him and the two of us
balancing and tugging on each other. Again, I felt him cum ahead of me, his
orgasm acting as a switch to turn on mine. Nearly exhausted, we sat back in
the water, his weightless slim body sideways on my lap. We kissed and
hugged until the water was so cold we had to re-new it with hot. We rinsed
and dried then rushed downstairs naked and pulled our makeshift bed from
behind a cabinet where he kept it.
      
      We made love again, front to front. It took me longer to reach my
apex, allowing us more time to grind and kiss. I slipped down his body and
blew him while he embraced my head and pumped into my mouth.
      
      We feel asleep in each other's arms with promises of eternal love and
fealty.
      
      The emotion apparently sapped us because I've no recollection of
consciousness during the night, only awakening in the morning with his head
on my chest and arms draped over me. I felt suddenly conflicted over
Freddy. He hadn't entered my mind the night before during all the intense
lovemaking with Sammy. I did still love Freddy, very much. Could I hold one
in each arm? They were so different. Freddy was strongly heterosexual. His
love for me was far more brotherly than sexual. Would he, could he
understand and accept the sexual love I had for Sammy?
      
      Sammy was a queer like me. We found each other physically
attractive. Our love sprang from our bodies as well as our minds. He was so
beautiful. It was difficult for me to understand what he found attractive
about me. I had a good body with lots of muscles but my face was only
handsome at best, certainly not beautiful like his. But he did love me; I
had no doubt about that. How would our love deal with me living so far
away? It would be difficult for me to visit him other than weekends. Being
apart from him five days every week was too painful to contemplate though I
had handled it with Freddy. How would it be with Sammy?
      
      He stirred. His eyes opened. He looked at me and smiled. We embraced
and kissed. How could I leave him' Maybe I could change schools, study and
live with him.
      
      There was no changing the fact that I had to leave. I didn't want to
let him go, but I did. We kissed in the doorway. I closed the door after he
opened it and kissed and held him again.
      
      'I love you, Sammy.'
      
      'I love you too but you've gotta go. I'll see you, when, in a week?'
      
      He had already accepted our separation. 'Sooner. Maybe tomorrow or
Sunday if there's no problem. I love you.'
      
      'I love you. Go.'
      
      I started out the door and remembered, 'My money, in case.'
      
      We dug it out of the hiding place over a cabinet.
      
      After a brief kiss, he gently pushed me out the door.
      
      His words made it much easier to walk to the bus line for downtown.
      
      All the way to my grandparents, I rehearsed what I saw as concrete
conditions for my return home, freedom from restrictions on my free time
being paramount.
      
      Freddy was sitting in the vestibule waiting for me and opened the
door as I turned up the walk. He embraced me on the porch and pulled me
inside. My grandparents hugged me.
      
      'Thank God you're okay,' said my grandmother.
      
      I thanked Sammy.
      
      We sat in the living room, my grandmother hugging me from one
side. Freddy sat opposite us, looking me over with a silly grin on his
face. My grandfather paced for a moment then sat in his chair. He worried
me.
      
      'Is everything okay still?' I asked.
      
      'Yes,' he answered. 'I think so.'
      
      That worried me more. He saw my concern but didn't seem to have words
to alleviate it.
      
      'What's wrong?'
      
      'I don't think there's anything wrong, it's just that, well, your
father's very upset by all this. He was drinking last night and they had a
fight. She's okay but he hit your mother and now he's more upset.'
      
      I looked at him, trying to fathom any hidden message. 'Whatta you
mean he's more upset now? What did he say about me?'
      
      He sighed. 'Let me call your mother. She stayed here last night but
went back to your house this morning.'
      
      'Does my father know I'm here?'
      
      'He knows you might be.'
      
      I worried that he may have called the police. I stood, debating
whether to leave quickly. If the police got me, they'd take my money.
      
      My grandmother said, 'Sit down, dear, please. It's going to be all
right.'
      
      I couldn't. Every fiber of my of my body, every cell in my brain
wanted me to get away.
      
      I headed for the rear door. 'I'll call you in two hours.'
      
      Freddy came after me. My grandmother was close behind but my
grandfather stopped her. He said, 'Two hours. Call me in two hours. Freddy,
you stay here. He'll be okay.'
      
      Freddy looked almost terrified. I hugged him. 'I'll call in two
hours.'
      
      'Two hours,' he called from the back porch as I went out the gate.
      
      I went up the alley to the next block, looked out carefully and
crossed to the alley on the other side. After two blocks in alleys, I
walked west until I found a park in front of a museum. All the while
walking, my emotions rattled back and forth from relief to doubt, relief
because the decision to go back to Sammy was a comfortable one, doubt
because there might be a chance lost to resolve things and get me back into
school, the part of all this that I'd tried to put out of my mind.
      
      I found a secluded place near a bridge and sat on a park bench. I'd
never bought the watch I promised myself to buy so often. Two hours would
be a guess. I had no idea what time I'd left the house. My stomach needed
attention. A restaurant would have a clock but this didn't seem the type of
area that would have a restaurant I could afford.
      
      Perhaps there would be something if I continued west. I left the park
and went a few blocks more, finding myself in a working class area much
like Sammy's. Two blocks down the street, I found a soda fountain but they
only sold packaged cakes and cookies. I bought Jelly Krimpets and a Coke,
then bought the same again. A block below the soda fountain was a major
commercial street with two restaurants but both were closed. I was going
east again and decided to circle around and check out my grandparent's
house from a block away to see if any police vehicles were around. Then, I
reconsidered. A policeman coming to get me would have my picture. He might
be driving around looking for me. I turned south and walked all the way
downtown, past the YMCA. The library ahead seemed a safe place. I knew they
had payphones inside. I could read if I had to wait any longer.
      
      My grandmother answered the telephone. 'Wait, Your mother's here. She
wants to speak to you.'
      
      'Malcolm, you should have waited for me. Please, come back. Where are
you?'
      
      'I'm okay here. What happened? What did he say?'
      
      'Everything's fine, dear. He's just upset. Don't worry.'
      
      'What about school?'
      
      'It's going to be fine, dear. You're going back to your old school on
Tuesday. Monday's a holiday. And he fixed your bedroom door so it's back
where it used to be. All you have to do is your chores and be a good boy.'
      
      'What about Freddy?'
      
      There was a moment of silence. 'Just don't bring him to the house,
dear. You know that would upset him. Now, where are you? I'll come pick you
up.'
      
      I almost told her but said instead to wait for me where she was. I
wanted to look around for a trap.
      
      I took a bus and got off two blocks from the house. After watching
for a few moments from a block away and seeing only my mother's car in
front, I went up the alley and looked around again. I went in through the
back gate, still open from when I'd left earlier.
      
      I entered quietly but Freddy heard the door open and came rushing to
the kitchen. 'It's okay. It's okay, just like she said.'
      
      Mother came behind him and pulled me to her.
      
      I asked all my questions and was assured that everything was as
promised.
      
      'Why can't Freddy come to my house?'
      
      My grandfather answered. 'Malcolm, this has all been very difficult
for your father. I don't think having Freddy at your house would be a good
idea. Look, things have been worked out in a way that will make all our
lives easier. You can see Freddy anytime you want away from your house
including here. Let's just be practical and not complicate matters, okay?'
      
      'Can I stay here today?'
      
      'I think it would be better if you stayed at your house today. You
can probably come here tomorrow.'
      
      'Can I go later, in the afternoon for dinner? Mom, can I eat in my
room?'
      
      She smiled. 'I suppose so. It might even be better today unless he
wants to take me out. We've got a new maid but she's not a very good cook.'
      
      'She white?'
      
      She sighed and kept her smile. 'Of course.'