Date: Tue, 29 Apr 2003 09:24:56 +0800
From: mr malaprop <mr_malaprop@graffiti.net>
Subject: Martin's Story
This fictional story contains descriptions of sexual
relationships between willing under-age participants and
between men and under-age participants.
If you shouldn't, don't. If you don't like it, stop. If
you want to flame me, you're wasting your time.
Especial thanks to Nicholas Nicholby who has goaded and
encouraged and proofread and shown valour way beyond the
call of duty. Thanks Nick.
Comments and constructive criticism are welcome at
mr_malaprop@graffiti.net
The entire story is copyrighted c to Mr Malaprop 2003
Martin's Story
By Mr Malaprop
We shall not cease from exploration
And the end of our exploring
Will be to arrive where we started
And know the place for the first time.
from Little Gidding by T S Eliot
Prologue
I have just been to the most wonderful funeral. It was a
long journey but worth every moment and every single
penny that it's cost.
There was a time when I swore I wouldn't go when the time
came but over the last twenty years or so my thinking has
changed so much and so often, I can hardly keep track.
For the last five years I have been adamant that if and
when it happened I would be there. I think it has been
good for me - it has been good for them as well. Now
he is dead we can be a family. And now I have seen him
in the hospice and I have seen him in the coffin and I
have seen the coffin in the crematorium and I have seen
the ashes scattered - now at last I can have some
peace. I remember a therapist, many years ago now,
talking about people finding closure and me so seething
with hatred for him that I thought closure could never
come for me.
Finally I believe it has begun. Finally, maybe, I can be
at peace - not yet, but I can see it on the horizon. I
hope and pray that they can find their closure too, they
deserve it as much as I do. I can't facilitate their
closure for them but if they know of mine then that might
help them their own.
It is funny, when they met me at the airport she was like
a little old woman, she can only be 60 something, I
wonder why I have never known how old she is, perhaps I
should ask. Anyway, she was a little old woman then and
the other one looked old and bowed down as well and yet
she is younger than me.
They told me he didn't have long so we drove straight to
the hospice and there he was.
Dying.
Old . . . and dying.
I still hated him but I just wasn't scared any more.
Part of me wanted revenge, part of me wanted to hurt him
there, part of me wanted to make his last few hours of
life absolute torture and agony.
He was pathetic - a hulk, a shell with almost no life
left. A husk might be better, a dry husk. Virtually but
not quite lifeless. I could see him breathing, not much
but a little. He was in a coma, he had been for days.
He had a couple of monitor things attached to him which
on the screen showed a slow, irregular heartbeat.
We sat and chatted over him for a while. We talked about
my journey and the young one's kids. The old woman
didn't say anything. She just sat there and waited.
None of us touched him.
We sat there for an hour or two. I was tired after the
flights but I wanted to be there, I wanted to be with
them, I wanted to be present when it happened. I was
happy to wait. I was happy that I arrived in time. Part
of me wished I had been in time to speak to him before he
lost consciousness. I could still speak, perhaps he
could still hear somewhere, somehow. When the old woman
went to the toilet I pulled my chair close and whispered
in his ear for a couple of minutes. I just told him I
was there and that I had come to see the end of it all.
I hope he heard me, I hope he recognized my voice, my
name. I hope he knew it was me speaking those words. I
hope he knew that I had survived. I hope he knew that I
had won and he had lost.
I almost hope he hated me for it.
He didn't last long after that. A nurse came in and
checked everything and told us she didn't know how he was
keeping going and then just after she had gone the
monitor went flat and started to beep. I wondered if my
words had triggered it - not guiltily, not at all.
Just interested.
The nurse came back and then called a doctor who
confirmed the death and everyone offered us condolences.
The old woman just said, "That's over then. Let's go and
have dinner."
She stood. She stood up straight, straighter than I have
ever know. She turned to the doctor. "We'll speak to
the undertaker in the morning." She didn't wait for a
reply.
We left. We went to my hotel, she, the other one, the
younger one, was staying there as well We washed and
tidied ourselves up before going out for a meal. Already
the old woman was looking younger, so was the other one.
It was a good meal. We didn't talk about him at all. We
talked about her and her kids again, the old woman talked
about her future and selling the house and moving away.
She wanted to move nearer her sister who lives in Mid-
Wales somewhere. I talked about my life over the last
twenty years. We laughed and smiled and joked together
for the first time that I can ever remember.
After the meal it was back to the hotel for a few drinks.
I asked the old woman if she wanted to go back to the
house or whether she should take a room for the night.
We argued a bit and then the young one persuaded her to
stay, to share her room. I don't think she took a lot of
persuading.
Before I went to bed I phoned home, I only got the
answering machine so I left a message and said that he
had died and I hoped I would be leaving Friday or
Saturday.
In the morning the old woman spoke to an undertaker and
arranged for a cremation as soon as possible. She said
there would be no fuss, no flowers, no frills, no
clergyman and only three in the congregation. She said
she wanted it as cheap as possible, she just wanted it
over. He phoned back later to say it could happen two
days later at 11.00. She said that was fine..
The young woman went home for two nights saying she would
be back on Thursday and would meet us at the crem. She
didn't want to view the body. The old woman said she was
going home and was going to get the house on the market
as soon as probate was granted, in the meantime she could
get it ready. I hired a car and spent a day and a half
driving around the old neighbourhood spotting the
changes. I hadn't been back for a long time so there
were a lot of changes. I also arranged to travel home on
the Friday, as soon as it was all over. The flights were
a bit messy but it was the quickest way. Going west it
would have been a lot further.
On the Wednesday night I met an old friend for dinner. I
had been lucky, he was in the phone book. He had an
unusual name so I was sure it was him and it was. We
went for a meal, just the two of us, and talked about old
times and what had happened since. He told me his
partner had died in the epidemic two years before,
another AIDS statistic. I didn't tell him why I was over
or about what was happening the next day. My friend was
negative and not looking for a new relationship yet -
he hadn't had sex since his bereavement. For a job he
now talked about sex all day as part of the AIDS industry
but he had lost interest in doing it. He told me that I
had known his partner - when he mentioned the name it
was another trigger, another link to my past. I was
sorry to hear that he had died, I hadn't seen him in well
over a decade but I missed him, he had been great fun and
so good for me and to me. He had helped me to stay sane
when I was near to collapse.
He was younger than me and he was dead. I couldn't
believe it.
After the meal we went back to his house and he showed me
pictures of him and Mikey - Mikey well and later Mikey
ill and later still Mikey dying. I cried. He cried and
he held me. He put his arm round me like he had that
first time sitting on that bed in my bedroom, that time
that I would never forget. Then I held him as well. I
thought for a minute we would end up in bed together but
we didn't. When I left an hour or two later he gave me a
big hug and kissed me on both cheeks then on my forehead.
I kissed him back. I asked him to come visit, I told him
that he would always be welcome, that we would both love
to see him.
He said he'd think about it and that he would at least
keep in touch. I left him my card with my e-mail address
on it. I was glad I had seen him and told him so.
I phoned home again that night and we had a chat and I
said what I had done for the evening and who I had seen.
I left out about Mikey and him being dead, I would talk
about that back at home. I said I had invited him to
come and stay sometime and was told that was absolutely
the right thing to do.
"Do you think he will?"
"I don't know, love, but I hope so."
"So do I. We both owe him a lot."
"I know. I'd better go, I'll see you at the weekend. I
love you."
"I love you too, hurry back."
The funeral was strange. The old woman and I met at the
undertakers early to see him in the box, just to check it
was the right body. We told them we didn't want a
procession, that we would meet them there. We took a
taxi and were at the crem before the hearse. The young
woman was waiting. The undertakers men were as solemn as
they are supposed to be. None of us were in black, the
old woman was in royal blue; the young woman was in
yellow and orange, she looked very striking. She said
that her husband had wanted to come but she wouldn't let
him. I was in beige slacks and cream open shirt. In
honour of the occasion I wore socks and shoes, not my
usual open sandals. I had had to buy the shoes in town
the day before, I needed a new pair anyway, it wasn't
just for him.
We followed the coffin in and on to the rollers in front
of the curtain. The senior man asked if any of us wanted
to say anything. The old woman said "No, just get on
with it."
The curtain opened and the box rolled into the back. The
old woman asked when we could have the ashes. Two
o'clock. She said we would collect them. She didn't
tell us or them her plans for them, she just said we
would collect them.
She took us for lunch at the pub down the road. It
wasn't very good but it was okay. At two o'clock we went
back and were handed the ashes in a cheap little urn. We
got in the young woman's car and the old one said to
drive to the dump. When we got there the old woman
opened the urn and emptied it into one of the skips for
household refuse then she crushed the urn under her heel
and flung that in as well.
Then we drove away.
The old woman invited the two of us back to the house but
we both declined. She smiled and said that she thought
we would. She asked the young woman to drop her at the
station. We got out to say goodbye to her and she hugged
us both and told us that she hoped we would all keep in
touch. She said she knew it was too late but she loved
us and was proud of us. She smiled as she said it and
she had tears in her eyes at the same time.
She turned away then turned back.
"Today is the first day of the rest of our lives." She
smiled again.
With that she was gone.
The young woman drove me back to my hotel. I invited her
in but she said no, she would go straight home. She
leant over and kissed me on the cheek and told me to be
happy. I smiled. "You too."
I phoned home again that night, last night to say that it
was all over and to confirm the flight details and times.
I was desperate to get home. I got up early this morning
to get my flight and now here I am sitting on the plane
tapping away at this stupid machine trying to make sense
of it all.
As the Caterpillar said to Alice: "Start at the
beginning, go on to the end and then stop."
Good advice.
Chapter 1
I always hated my dad from the earliest time I can
remember, I tried to love him because I knew that I
should but I really couldn't. When the social workers
got involved because I had stopped going to school and
started robbing, it was a relief to find out that he
wasn't my real dad, that both me and my sister had been
adopted. Some of the social workers were really stupid,
they kept on asking me if my father ever hit me or
mistreated me - they must have thought I was really
stupid, too, if they thought I would tell them stuff like
that. My dad was a big burly cop who, as he kept on
telling me, knew how to hurt people and not leave a mark
- he had been proving it on my sister and me for years,
I think he did it to mum too but she never spoke about
it. He had told me every time that if I ever told
anybody he would kill me, and I believed him, I had to
just to stay alive. He said he could make it look like
an accident and that he would look like he cried at my
funeral!
This might seem a strange thing to say but the time I
hated him the least was when we were having sex together
- he was still fairly brutal about it but there was
something else there for me as well - I actually
enjoyed sucking his dick and I enjoyed some of the
feelings when he was fucking my bum. I can't remember
when it started, like the pain it had just always been
there, he was certainly fucking my mouth and my arse
before I started at school, so it had to be before I was
5 - he'd call me "An effeminate little nancy boy" and
then plow my arse with his dick. But he was into equal
opportunities was my dad, he fucked my sister as well.
He was a really mean bastard. The social workers saw him
as a pillar of respectability and reckoned that it was
bad blood coming out in me, being a foundling and all.
My sister was three years younger and she was a foundling
too, and she wasn't robbing so perhaps they thought to
give her a bit more time and she'd start.
You can imagine how a policeman liked having a son with a
criminal record! I think that is probably why I did it
even if it did get me more beatings - if you get one
every night anyway an extra one doesn't make much
difference!
The Juvenile Court wanted to send me home but he didn't
want me any more, he pushed them to make a Care Order so
he could get rid of me. He'd started helping with the
scouts by then so I suppose he had a ready supply of
young arses to fuck.
I was 12, nearly 13 when I went to the first children's
home and I tell you that after my life at home it was
like paradise!
It was a new beginning.
Oh, the old me didn't disappear overnight but I was free
to be me, at last. Free to shed the old patterns. Free
to grow into the person I was to become.
The boss and his wife were very strict and had lots of
stupid rules but then I had lived with a maniac all my
life so that was okay. The man who was next in line,
Chris, was nice, a bit too soft but nice. The next guy,
Ray, was really mean, except for the sex he could almost
have traded places with my dad. I'll give you an
example, there was one boy there called Johnny and
somebody had found out that he liked to wear his sister's
clothes [he didn't do this in the home although once or
twice he was caught wearing girl's knickers] and this guy
who was supposed to be taking care of him, beat him up
every single day - nobody ever saw it and I don't think
the other staff knew but poor Johnny really got it all
the time. The rest of the staff were all women and
mostly part time, apart from the bosses wife it was a
very male-dominated sort of place - looking after 20
mainly teenage lads I suppose it had to be.
It was while I was there that I decided that I was gay,
that I could put a word to these feelings I had. I used
to blame my dad thinking that he had taught me to be gay
by fucking me all the time but I had liked that part the
most and here I discovered that I loved looking at the
other boys' bodies. My dick had recently started to grow
and it had sprouted a few hairs around the base and I
knew that what interested me was other boys' bodies and
other boys' dicks and I loved the smell of boys. A
couple of the lads had smuggled in porno mags so I saw
pictures of cunts for the first time and I thought I was
going to throw up - I sure didn't want to get involved
in that sort of thing. Other lads were getting hard ons
while my dick all but disappeared! Those pictures looked
really disgusting.
My room-mate was a lad called Paul, the same age as me
all but a few months. He had red hair and the very pale
skin that redheads often have - and he had the cutest
dick I had ever seen with little bits of red hair growing
round the base to match the black hairs growing round
mine. He had been in the place a couple of months, he
thought it was okay and he helped me with the rules to
start with so I wouldn't get in too much trouble.
In fact they were three beds in the room but the third
belonged to a 14 year old lad called Steve who was living
back home with his parents most of the time, but who
still came to the home one night a week as a sort of
safety net. This had been going on for a while, it
seemed, and he was due to be finally discharged soon.
Paul told me he was okay but a bit thick and very girl
mad - it was all he ever talked about.
It took Paul and I exactly two nights before we were
getting it on together - it was amazing, it wasn't
brutal, it was tender. The first night when we were
getting ready for bed I was trying to sneak a look at his
dick and I saw that he was trying to sneak a look at
mine. We talked a bit after lights out and then I heard
him beating off so I did the same and I didn't bother to
be too quiet about it either, I made sure he heard.
The next morning when we were woken up I didn't bother
trying to hide my hard on from Paul and he didn't bother
hiding his either - I think we both knew then that we
were "on." At shower time that night it was showing off
our dicks without saying anything about it again but at
bedtime things changed a bit. There was lots of eye
contact and lots of looking at our dicks - him looking
at mine got me hard and the same looked like it was
happening to him. We talked a little bit after lights
out, we weren't supposed to but we did. It was nothing
about sex, just about school and the home and stuff.
About half an hour later the main corridor lights went
out showing that the place was closing down for the
night. I was hard as a rock by this time, my pyjamas
were off and I was lying there stroking it gently - I
didn't know what was going to happen but I knew something
would. Then there was a movement in the dark and Paul,
as naked as I was - and as hard as I was - came over
and got into my bed. He slipped into my arms as if it
was the most natural thing in the world.
And it was.
The first few nights it was just wanking one another off
but soon we got to kissing. My dad had never kissed me
- I don't think he was capable of affection - so Paul
and I discovered this together, we could spend hours just
lying there in bed kissing while our dicks got so hard
they ached. Then, after a few more nights together, I
just had to have Paul in my mouth - god, that was so
good. He was a lot smaller than my dad, being just 12,
but he tasted so much nicer. Paul had never been sucked
before, neither had I, sex with my dad wasn't for my
enjoyment but for his. I soon got Paul boiling over and
his cum was soooo tasty! It was a lot tastier than my
dad's, it was sweeter while dad's was a bit bitter. I
couldn't get enough. Then Paul wanted to try and WOW!
what a sensation that was - I remember that even that
first time, and he had never done anything like this
before, he swallowed every drop - and I could still
taste it in his mouth when we kissed.
On the nights that Steve was there we daren't do
anything, we listened to one another beating off in the
dark and Steve used to talk about girls and pussy and his
supposed girlfriends. He was a nice lad but we couldn't
wait for him to go home again!
But I was young and horny, I'd had my 13th birthday in
the home, and although I was getting wonderful sex with
Paul I started having the hots for Chris, the guy on the
staff. I know he sensed I was gay, just as I sensed he
was gay. For ages I thought that I was making it up,
that just because he was more gentle than the others he
had to be queer - but then he was pretty tough when he
had to be, nobody tried breaking too many rules when he
was around! Many nights Paul and I would talk about it,
lying there between sex bouts cuddled up together.
It was after one of those chats that I asked Paul if he
wanted to fuck me, we hadn't done that up to then. He
was kinda shocked by the idea of putting his dick up my
bum but I was beginning to really want it - I was a bit
surprised by this after the rough treatment it had had
from my dad but my hole was crying out for Paul to fill
it.
"Will it hurt?" he asked.
"Nah, my dad used to do it to me all the time, I'm used
to it."
"You're dad used to do it to you?" He was quite shocked,
I knew he had lived all his life with violence just as I
had but this was way beyond him. His dad was a drunk and
used to beat him and his brother up then fall asleep. To
shut him up, because I really didn't want to talk about
my dad then, I kissed him and held on and then I started
running my fingers around his buns. He obviously enjoyed
that so started doing the same to me - his fingers
started searching my crack then he pulled out of the kiss
and said, "What do I do?"
I sucked his dick for a bit to get it all slippery and
then I spit on my finger and rubbed that around my hole,
then I rolled over on my stomach and knelt up a bit to
give him a good target and guided him in. It was
wonderful! He got in and I could hear him gasp and then
he started fucking - we had both already come not long
before so it took him a while, as far as I was concerned
he could have stayed in there forever! I was amazed
after the treatment I had had from Dad that anything
could feel so tender, so loving, so right. Paul was
getting into a rhythm by then and was loving it just as
much as I was. Then I felt his pace change and knew he
was about to come - he sorted of exploded into me and I
could feel him shuddering with the impact of cumming. I
collapsed on to the bed and he collapsed on top of me and
we just lay there for ages. After a while I felt his
dick starting to go limp inside me so I started squeezing
it with my arse muscles and squirming around below him.
It worked, I soon got him hard again and we did it all
over again. It took a bit longer this time and he was
even gentler. After he had come for the third time that
night we just lay there with him on top of me nibbling on
my ear. Once again I felt him go soft inside so I let
him slip out of my hole then I turned and took him in my
arms and put my mouth on his. It was brilliant, I had
never felt this good in all my life!
Chapter 2
What we hadn't realized, or hadn't properly understood is
that our room shared a wall with Chris's flat. The next
morning he came in to wake us up for school, I remember
he seemed amused about something but he didn't say
anything unusual until Paul had gone downstairs and I was
making my bed. He came back into the room from shouting
at one of the other lads down the corridor over something
or other. He sat on Paul's bed and called me over to sit
next to him. He put his arm round my shoulder and almost
whispered in my ear: "You see that wall by your bed? On
the other side is my bedroom." He looked into my eyes
while I went bright red. "It's okay," he said. "I don't
want to know what you and Paul were doing last night but
I suggest you do it more quietly. If some of the other
staff hear there could be trouble. . . . . Okay?"
"Okay Chris, sorry," I stammered.
"That's all right," he said. He gave my shoulder a
squeeze and headed out the door. When he got there he
turned and said "This conversation hasn't happened."
Then he winked and walked off. As he got halfway down
the corridor he turned and called back to me in his
normal voice "Hurry up, Martin, breakfast is almost
over!"
Paul and I went to different schools and he had to leave
before me so I didn't get a chance to speak to him about
it until we got home that afternoon. By that time my
heart had stopped racing and I was beginning to see the
funny side of it - I was also beginning to feel the
glow from Chris's arm across my shoulder that morning.
Working it out it was the first time that I had ever had
a friendly arm across my shoulder in my life!
Paul was really frightened by what I told him and said we
would have to stop - I told him that Chris had just
said to keep it quiet. He was still pretty freaked that
night when we went up to bed but I made sure I goosed him
at shower time and then had a boner to show him as we got
changed for bed - I didn't want to lose what we had and
I didn't think he did really either.
At lights out Chris came around to say goodnight. He
hung around a bit as I think he did in every room just to
be chatty then he ruffled Paul's hair and said good night
to him before coming over to my bed, near the door, and
ruffling my hair. He stood in the doorway with his hand
on the light switch and said "Pleasant . . . erm . . .
dreams." Then he winked again, switched off the light
and closed the door.
There was no way that Paul was going to shift himself
over to my bed that night so after a while, when the
house noises had died down and the corridor lights were
dimmed, I crept over to his and climbed in. He hissed
"Go away" as I got in with him but at the same time he
moved over to make room. I shut him up the best way I
knew how, I just clamped my mouth over his. As I slid my
arms around him I realized he was naked so he must have
been ready for it. I got a bit of a thrill out of
thinking that Chris might be listening next door, I kinda
hoped he was!
Life carried on, it was okay but I had missed so much
school that trying to catch up was pretty tough. I had a
big problem with maths and was really struggling with it.
Then, at a review meeting between the teachers and the
boss of the home this was talked about and the boss
suggested that I ask Chris to help me. Apparently he had
a degree in maths, he wasn't a teacher but he knew his
stuff. The boss said that I had to ask him but that if
he agreed then some time each week could be given over to
personal tuition. I was really excited about this so
that afternoon as soon as I got back to the home I found
Chris and asked him if he would help me. He agreed but
said that he would have to go and talk to the maths
teacher and get the right books and talk through the
method. I was okay with anything as long as I got to be
alone with Chris on a regular basis.
When I told Paul about that night he just wanted me to be
careful, I think he was more excited about the maths as
he was really good at it, it was his best subject. Weird
kid!
The next day, Friday, was Chris's day off so nothing
could happen until he got back the next week. Oh well, I
still had Paul for the weekend and we celebrated the two
days off with more sex than ever - our bodies were
really getting into it now. It was that weekend that I
realized that I had some amazing feelings and that I
began to put words to them. I began to realize that I
actually loved Paul - it wasn't just about sex,
although that was a big part of it, it was also that I
loved just lying there holding him, or looking at him at
meal times or sitting next to him watching telly. I just
wanted to be with him all the time. This didn't stop me
looking at other boys or dreaming of Chris but it still
meant a lot to me, I had never really loved anybody
before except my sister.
That weekend was also when Paul asked me to fuck him. He
told me on the Saturday morning when we were getting up
that he wanted me to do it that night. Well, we weren't
getting up as such, we were in a clinch leaning against
the bedroom door to stop anybody walking in. He stopped
snogging me and put his mouth next to my ear and said
"Will you fuck me tonight?"
I was immediately ramrod hard and my fingers started
digging into his bum - "Not now, tonight! C'mon or
we'll be late for breakfast."
Most teen boys want to stay up late, that night Paul and
I were waiting for bedtime! During the morning, after we
had done our share of the jobs around the place, we had
been going to bathroom at the same time so we locked
ourselves in one of the stalls for a kiss and a cuddle
but that was about the only chance we got all day. We
sat next to one another later watching the TV and got a
bit of contact but not enough. Quite a few of the kids
had gone home for the weekend so we weren't crushed up
like we usually were - this meant that we had to use
separate seats, if we sat too close the other lads would
call us queer.
When it got time for us to have our showers we were up
those stairs like rockets. There were only two other
boys on our corridor that night and they were both a lot
older so we let them shower first, we stayed in our room
and kissed and cuddled up against the door again until we
heard them come out of the bathroom and head downstairs
again. We went along and decided to risk showering
together, there wasn't much chance of anyone coming in
and the outer door to the bathroom creaked so if we heard
it one of us could jump out and grab a towel whilst the
other one stayed in. We washed first so that it would
look okay - actually we washed each other whilst we
kissed.
I wanted to tell him what I had discovered about my
feelings but I was very frightened. As I washed his buns
with soapy fingers I pushed my fingers deeper into his
crack and down towards his little opening. I was so
hard, it was incredible. Paul just kissed me harder. I
stroked a soapy finger across his hole and he shuddered.
I did it again and he shuddered again. Then I circled
the hole with my finger and he moaned into my mouth.
Slowly I pushed my middle finger in, there was a little
resistance but not much. Paul was really moaning by now.
Slowly, slowly I pushed my finger further and found the
little button that I had found when exploring my own
chute, the little button that spelt real pleasure to me.
I stroked it. Paul pushed his groin hard against mine
and broke our kiss to say "Oh God!" I stroked it again
and he whimpered. I stroked it a third time and I felt
him coming between our bellies. I kept my finger in
place and held him up with my other arm round him. He
clung on to me panting for a minute or two then put his
mouth back on mine.
When we broke the kiss his first words were, "That was
amazing! What did you do?"
I told him about the pleasure spot that I now know is
called the prostate. In those days I didn't care what it
was called, I don't care much now, it is what it feels
like that matters. As I was telling him my finger was
still up his bum so I stroked him inside again and he
almost collapsed again.
"God that is so wonderful!"
As I was doing it I pushed another finger in as well, he
didn't flinch. He kissed me again and as we swapped spit
I slipped a third finger in, he pulled away a bit at
first but then he got used to it. As I fingered him he
started stroking me - one hand stroked my buns whilst
the other started on my dick. It didn't take long. He
stroked his fingers over my hole and I shot between us
just like he had.
I was just about to get on my knees in the shower and
suck him off when we heard one of the women staff out in
the corridor shouting "Martin, Paul, where are you?"
"We're in here, Miss, we're just getting dry."
"Well hurry up or you'll miss your supper."
As soon as we heard the voice we were out and drying.
For a moment we were panic-stricken then we were
laughing. The woman who had called was a very devout
Christian who was always preaching at us, she'd have had
a fit if she had found us in a clinch!
That was one of the most amazing nights of my life. All
these years on and I look back on it as a turning point.
Up until that night I had always been the recipient of
anal sex. First brutally with my dad and his chums and
later beautifully and gently with Paul. That night I was
to be the "sperm donor" - I was going to be doing my
very best to give my beautiful lover the most pleasurable
time of his life.
When we went up to bed I was really horny, and really
scared. I wanted to do this so much and I was terrified
of hurting him, I was terrified of the visions of what I
had been made to do for so long. I didn't know if I
could go through with it, I was a mess.
Soon after the corridor lights were dimmed Paul came over
to my bed. We knew Chris was away and the only other
boys on the corridor were further down on the other side
so we didn't have to panic too much about the noise.
Paul didn't seem scared at all, he was really eager. We
started kissing as we always did. As we kissed Paul
moved round so he was lying underneath me.
"Please Martin. Do it to me now."
"Hang on a minute."
We didn't have any lubricant and for his first time I
didn't trust to just spit so I popped my shorts back on
and went to the bathroom and got my fingers and my dick
all slippery with soapy water. I dashed back and into
bed. I told him where I had been and he pulled me back
into a kiss. He pulled his legs up and apart round me
and I started fingering his hole again. My fingers were
very wet and he was moaning into my mouth as I slid one,
then two, then three fingers into him. I started
stroking his little button again - as I did so he was
squirming under me. I was amazingly hard as I pulled my
fingers out and slid my dick in.
WOW!
What an amazing feeling!
I pushed in a little bit.
"Stop a minute." He breathed deeply a couple of times
and smiled up at me. "It hurt a bit just then, go
gently."
I pushed a bit further and then pulled back a bit. As I
pushed in again I tried to angle my dick so it stroked
the button again. I succeeded, Paul moaned beneath me
and pulled my mouth back down to his. I was in heaven, I
read once where somebody described it like having your
dick in a tight velvety glove and that is just what it
felt like. I don't think I can better that description.
As I pushed and pulled I tried to keep the angle right
and keep the pressure going. Suddenly Paul started
whimpering into my mouth as I fucked him and then I felt
him tensing just as my cum started boiling - I thrust
again and came inside him just as his dick started
pumping between us and his arse clamped down on my dick
making my orgasm truly spectacular.
We lay there for a little while whilst my dick went soft
and slipped out of him. We held one another tight - or
rather he held me whilst I held his legs out of the way.
After a bit I let go of his legs and fell to one side.
We turned on to our sides and cuddled into one another.
I had to say it, I couldn't stop myself, I just had to
tell him.
"I love you, Paul."
I was so frightened, this is not the sort of thing 13
year old boys say to one another, particularly not
hardened little criminals in care homes.
"I love you, too."
He kissed me and asked me to do it again. So I did.
Slowly, gently, wonderfully with more emotion than I had
ever felt before in my life. Once again Paul came
between us and his orgasm triggered mine. We kissed and
cuddled and fell asleep.
The next morning we woke still cuddled up in my bed. I
looked at Paul's watch and it was an hour to getting up
time. We were both hard again but this time I was
determined that I was going to get fucked. I sucked on
Paul to get him wet and then, with him lying on his back,
I slid down on to him. I got the angle right as well so
he was stroking me inside. As I fucked him into me he
wanked my dick for me. This was gentle love making -
last night we had progressed beyond mere sex. We came
together again and then I lent down and kissed him for
the hundredth time that night.
Just before waking up time he slipped back to his own
bed, we were both so tired we could have done with
another's night's sleep straight away.
It was the beginning of a wonderful time for us both. A
time of loving and sharing.
Chapter 3
My world, our world, started falling apart after the half
term holiday in October. Paul had a "case review" and it
was decided to start building up to him going home. He
told me that he didn't really want to go but he couldn't
say that in the meeting in front of his parents. He said
he was really scared but he would have to try it. It
started off with him going home for Saturday nights and
after a few of them it seemed to be going okay so after
Christmas he started going home for the whole weekend.
We were still together 5 nights a week but I really
missed him at weekends. He spent most of the February
half term holiday at home and came back at the end with a
view to him going home almost permanently in a few weeks.
He told me that first night back together that it had
been a pretty rough holiday - when he first started
going home his dad was staying sober most of the time but
over the break he had started hitting the bottle again
and when he was drunk he was always violent - and with
Paul's younger brother Peter being away at a scout camp
Paul had copped for the lot. I told him he must tell
somebody but knew that he wouldn't, he couldn't any more
than I could. But the wonderful thing was having him
back in my arms - I was definitely in love with this
gorgeous little redhead.
After a couple of weeks they turned the system around and
Paul was home in the week and came to us at weekends,
firstly for two nights then, after a few weeks just for
the Saturday night. I was hating this, I was lost
without him. I didn't have anyone else to turn to, I
didn't really get on very well with any of the other lads
and my efforts at seducing Chris were coming to nothing.
He knew what I was after but consistently ignored it. I
was throwing myself at him - standing there nude before
showers stroking a hard on in front of him. I smile
about it now but I am a bit embarrassed as well.
He was still affectionate, possibly more so but he kept
his cool. All I had managed to do was to get him to give
me a peck on the forehead at bedtime each night and he
did it in such a way that I was never able to kiss him
back as I so desperately wanted to. We came to the
Easter holiday and Paul was to spend the whole time at
home and the first weekend was Chris's weekend off - I
was lost and alone so I went out robbing. Okay, I knew
then it was a stupid thing to do and I didn't really need
a socket set! I was caught, of course, and was in
disgrace and not allowed out except under supervision. I
started really kicking off and all my bad behaviour came
out of hiding. Chris came back to work on the Tuesday
lunchtime and I could tell as soon as I saw him that he
knew - and he wasn't angry, he was just very sad.
Tuesday night came and went. At shower time I made sure
that Chris saw me with an erection, again, and then I
bent over right in front of me so he got an eyeful of my
bum. There was no reaction from him except to give me
the usual peck on the forehead as he said goodnight. I
lay there with my ear against the wall until I heard him
going to bed and then I wanked off as noisily as I could
but it got no reaction from him at all.
I was angry and ashamed and lonely then and I just burst
into tears and cried myself to sleep, full of self pity.
I don't remember what time it was when I was woken by
noises in the corridor, the lights were on and Chris's
voice was one of them; I recognized the boss's voice as
the other. Then my door opened and they both came in.
"Are you awake, Martin?"
"Yeah, what's up?"
They both sat down, Chris on my bed and the boss on
Paul's bed. Chris smoothed the hair off my forehead.
"Listen Martin, there has been an accident, Paul is in
hospital and he has been asking for you - are you up
for it?"
Immediately I was shaking - I had a million questions
and I didn't dare ask any of them.
"Of course!" And I was out of bed and dressing, I didn't
care that they saw me nude or whatever. The boss put his
hand on my shoulder and said: "Chris is going to have a
cup of tea before he goes, do you want one? Helen has
already made it."
"Thanks, what time is it?"
"About three thirty."
By the time we were in Chris's car on the way to the
hospital I was a bit more awake and the questions started
forming.
"What happened, Chris?"
"I don't know, Martin, I don't know. All I know is that
we got a call from the police to say that Paul had been
taken to hospital so we rang and the nurse said that he
had been asking for someone called Martin and that he is
pretty badly hurt."
"How bad?"
"I don't know until I get there, do I?"
"He is going to die, isn't he?" Then I burst into tears.
Chris pulled into the side and held me for a few minutes.
"I don't know, Martin, I just know that he is very badly
hurt and he was asking for you.. We didn't know whether
to tell you and bring you or not but I argued that you
are best friends and that you deserve to know.
"The only other thing I know is that his brother is in
hospital as well."
"His dad did it, didn't he?"
"I don't know, but I think we have to get on. Are you
okay now?"
"Yes, sorry."
He kissed me on the forehead again and let me go. He got
the car started and drove on to the hospital and parked
up.
"Are you sure you're okay with this?"
"Yes, I've got to see him."
"Okay, let's go."
Even at 4.30 a.m. the hospital was really busy. Chris
showed his ID to the man at reception and asked for Paul.
We weren't sent to casualty, as I thought we would but
were sent straight to another ward - I was completely
confused and my head was in a whirl with worry. It
seemed to take forever and it seemed to take no time at
all and we were with a big woman, the ward sister, who
insisted we sit down for a minute. She ignored Chris and
spoke directly to me.
"Listen Martin, Paul has been asking for you ever since
he became conscious. He wants you to see him but you
have to understand that he is very badly hurt. He cannot
move much and, at the moment, he cannot see much. He is
in a lot of pain and we have given him painkillers that
make him very slow to respond. Are you okay so far?"
"Yes."
"Right, now listen - you are going to find it a shock
when you see him, he looks pretty terrible and he has
lots of bandages on him, so don't be too shocked. Okay"
"Is he going to die?"
"I don't know, Martin, but not if I can help it. He may
need an operation later but I think he will be okay in
time. Do you want to see him now?"
"Yes, please."
"Okay, I'll take you through." She led me out of her
office and along a corridor. "We have him in a side room
and his brother is in there as well. Do you know Peter?"
"No."
"Well, he is in a worse state than Paul at the moment.
We'll be in and out checking on them. Don't worry about
all the tubes and wires, okay? But don't touch them
either."
She opened a door and took me into a room with two beds
and lots of equipment. I almost screamed. I hardly knew
which was which, there were two boys on the beds and they
were covered in wires and tubes and bandages. The one on
the left had to be Paul as the one on the right was too
small. Both faces were almost unrecognisable as being
human, they were so hurt. Paul's chest was all bandaged
and his head was all bandaged.
The nurse went over and took his hand.
"Paul? Martin is here."
"Martin?"
I could hardly make out the word it was so slurred but
then his lips were all mashed and bruised. Tears started
leaking down his face from his battered eyes.
"Martin?"
The nurse waved me over to the bed and almost pushed me
into a chair.
"Martin?"
"I'm here." I think I almost croaked it out.
"Hold my hand."
I took his hand, it seemed to be the only undamaged bit
of him. The nurse said; "Right, I'll go and talk to
Chris, if you need anything pull that red cord - okay?"
"Yes, thanks."
As she went out I burst into tears again - three times
in one night! I just held on to Paul's hand and cried.
I kissed his hand but I couldn't say anything. He
squeezed my hand and mumbled "Are you okay?"
He was asking me if I was okay! I brushed my other hand
across my eyes and croaked "Yes, fine. How are you
feeling?"
"I'm okay now you're here."
"What happened?"
"Not now, just hold me."
I held his hand in mine and I knew then, I knew more than
I had known before, how much I loved this boy. Some of
you might think that 13 is a bit young for that sort of
thing but I assure you that is what I felt - it was
another unforgettable night.
We didn't talk much, I think the drugs were making my
Paul very sleepy. He sort of was with me one minute and
then away the next. What he said most was "Don't leave
me." He must have said it a dozen times. Every time he
said it I kissed his hand and squeezed it again. The
nurses came in and out constantly and I just sat there
and watched them do their jobs, then when I had been
there a couple of hours one of the machines started
making an alarm sound. I grabbed the red cord and nurses
came running. It's a terrible thing to say but I was so
relieved when they zoomed in on Peter and not Paul. A
doctor came running too and they pulled the curtains
round the bed whilst they worked on him.
I didn't know what was happening but I was very
frightened. The nurse I first saw came in as well and
disappeared behind the curtain and then she emerged and
came over to me.
"Peter is very ill, they are going to take him for an
operation straight away. Chris said to tell you that he
will be back for you about nine. Are you okay?"
"Yes, but where's the toilet?"
"Stupid of me, sorry. It's just down the corridor on the
left. Do you want a cup of tea?"
"Yes, please."
I squeezed Paul's hand and let go, he seemed to be deep
asleep, then I slipped out of the room to go to the loo.
As I was standing there peeing I leant my head against
the cold tiles of the wall and realized how frightened I
was - I was shaking with fear. I stayed there a few
minutes before heading back to Paul. By the time I came
back they were wheeling Peter's bed away down the
corridor and I was left alone with my best friend.
I picked up his hand again.
"Martin?"
"I'm here."
"Where have you been?"
"I had to go and have a slash. I thought you were
asleep."
"I missed you."
I kissed his hand again and then I leant over and kissed
his cheek. "I love you," I whispered. It wasn't the
first time I ever said that to him but it was the
strongest and most important. He squeezed my hand back
and mumbled "I love you, too."
Just as I was kissing him again the nurse came back with
my cup of tea. I think I blushed bright red but she
didn't say anything about it. She just asked Paul how he
felt and checked the machines and then she left again.
I was very tired as I sat there holding Paul's hand, I
think I drifted off as it seemed only a few minutes later
that Chris arrived and told me I had to come with him.
He had a word with Paul as well of course but he was very
groggy at the time. Chris told him that I had to leave
as the doctors were coming in, but promised that we would
both be back later.
Paul just clung tighter to my hand and said "No!" as
firmly as he could but Chris just uncurled Paul's
fingers, took his hand and held it for a moment then he
leant down and kissed Paul's cheek then laid his hand on
the bed. I leant over and very gently touched my lips to
Paul's ravaged ones, I didn't care any more that Chris
was watching or what he might think. I said gently in
his ear, "I love you, I'll be back soon." I didn't make
it a secret sort of whisper, I guess I wanted Chris to
hear.
As we left the ward Chris put his arm across my shoulder
and left it there as we walked out of the building. By
the time we got to the car I was dead on my feet, I was
so drained - I reckon Chris must have been holding me
up. I think I slept a bit in the car and I know I was
surprised when we got back to the home so quickly.
By that time all the kids were out playing or doing
whatever but the staff had kept me some breakfast which I
ate and then Chris took me upstairs and bundled me into
the shower. I undressed myself and showered myself but
he was perched on the windowsill the whole time, not
chatty or nosey but just comfortingly there. When I got
out he took my towel and dried my back for me, very
tenderly then he walked me along to my room where he
tucked me up in bed and then leant forward and kissed me
on the forehead again. This time he lingered a bit so I
was able to turn and kiss his cheek. He looked down at
me, straight into my eyes, smiled and said "Thanks."
Then he said, "If you can cope with it we will go back
this evening."
"Thanks, Chris, I'd like that."
He squeezed my hand and left, closing the bedroom door
behind him. I think I was asleep in about ten seconds, I
was so exhausted.
- - - - -
That evening as we were driving back to the hospital I
decided that I had to make things clear to Chris. I can
smile about it now but as a 13 year old this was a big
moment for me.
"You know I'm gay, don't you Chris? - and don't give me
any crap about it being a phase I'm going through. I am
gay and that is how I am and I am in love with Paul and
we have been doing it together for ages." All in one
breath.
"I certainly know the last bit," he said, then he turned
and smiled. "Look Martin, you are okay telling me this
in private but don't start telling everybody, not yet.
It could get you both in a lot of trouble."
"Yeah, like they might put me in a children's home."
He laughed then looked serious, "No, but they might split
you up and move one of you to the other end of the
country!" He pulled in to the hospital car park and
found a space. "Listen to me Martin, the law says you
are too young to be doing what you are doing and most of
the staff back there would go berserk if they knew about
it. You are safe talking to me about it but I really
wouldn't recommend you talking to anybody else like
this."
"But I have to talk to someone, I am so frightened for
Paul."
"I know, love," the first time he had ever used that word
to me, "I know." And he held me again whilst I had
another weep, clinging on to him desperately.
After a couple of minutes I pulled away and dried my
eyes. "Are you ready?" he asked.
"I guess so."
"Good but before we go I want to say something. This is
important, Martin - you have got to understand that you
can talk to me about these things but you cannot tell
anybody back there that you are talking to me about it.
If you tell me stuff like this I should be writing it
down and telling others and taking action about it - I
don't think either of us want that so this HAS to stay a
secret, for my sake as well as yours - Okay?"
"Okay, Chris, sorry, I just had to talk about it."
"Right then let's go and see this lover of yours." And
he smiled into my eyes, put his arm back across my
shoulder and led me into the hospital.
Paul was still in the side room and Peter was back there
beside him. They were both still wired up and Peter was
still unconscious. Paul's eyes looked a little less
swollen and he could obviously see a little bit as he
tried to smile as we walked in. I went straight across
and took his hand and kissed him on the lips. He tried
to kiss me back but wasn't co-ordinating too well. Chris
took his other hand and just said "Hi Paul, how're you
feeling?"
"Pretty rough," he mumbled. "I'm really thirsty, can I
have a drink?"
"I'll go and see, Martin will look after you." And off
he went to see the nurse.
I couldn't hug him because he was too wired but I managed
to slip my hand in his bedclothes and goose him but I
found he had a tube down his dick to help him to pee so I
just kissed him again and held his hand. I chatted about
the home and the way I had slept all day and he just lay
there and squeezed my hand. Chris was away a long time
so I reckoned he did it on purpose to give us time
together. He came back with the friendly nurse from the
night before. She checked the readings on the machines
and looked at Paul's eyes and mouth. She asked him how
he was feeling and seemed quite happy with the answer
because she went and got a jug of orange juice and a
glass and told me I could give him half a glass in little
sips.
Chris disappeared for a while, telling me that I would
have to go back with him about 9 p.m. so I just sat there
and held Paul's hand and kissed it every so often whilst
he slipped in and out of wakefulness.
Chris and the nurse came back at about 8.30 and the nurse
told me that Paul was still critical; out of immediate
danger but still quite ill and that he would have to stay
in for at least another few weeks but that, if Chris
allowed, I could visit every day. Chris said that he
would have to check but thought it would be okay. I then
asked what was really wrong, I had been dying to know but
wasn't sure if they would tell me. Apparently Paul had
multiple injuries with many broken and cracked ribs with
huge amounts of internal bruising together with a big
concussion. They had originally been very worried about
brain damage but so far that seemed okay. With Peter
they were not so sure, his injuries were worse than
Paul's and he was still very poorly. I still wanted to
know what had happened but figured that I would have to
wait on that one, I knew better than to ask Chris that.
The next week I was back at school but I was allowed to
go up to the hospital for an hour after tea each evening.
Paul was still in a lot of pain but he was visibly
improving.
It was while he was in hospital that Michael came to live
at the home and take the third bed in our room, now that
Steve had gone home permanently and for good. Michael
was only eleven, just coming up to twelve. As Chris
explained he had to come in our room because Paul and I
were the youngest others and it wouldn't be fair to put
an 11 year old in a room with the bigger lads - I think
Chris and the boss also reckoned that Paul and I weren't
the bullying kind.
Michael was very frightened and was really far too young
to be there with all those big lads and I was really
pissed off with being expected to look after such a
youngster. But when I met him he was a really sweet kid
with hair so blonde it was almost white and huge blue
eyes. I didn't see him much the first couple of days as
I used to get home from school, do my homework, have my
tea and go straight out to see Paul then by the time I
got back Michael had usually gone to bed so I would have
a shower and go to bed with him already asleep. I think
it was after he had been there about a week that he was
still up when I came back, he was just going for a shower
so I thought I would go for one too. I told the woman on
duty and she said for me to check that Michael had a
proper shower, they all knew that I was trustworthy on
getting a proper one myself, the problem with me was
getting me out of the shower, not into it! I've always
loved being clean.
As I went to get my towel Michael was heading into the
bathroom so I told him that I would be in there in a
minute. I went to our room and stripped off and got my
towel round me and went back to wait for him to get out
so I could get in. I sat on the window ledge as Chris
had done and this little voice from behind the curtain
said "Is that you Martin?"
"Yup, you okay?"
"Yeah, how's Paul?"
"Getting better."
"Is he nice?"
Well, I couldn't tell an 11 year old that Paul was not
only my lover but also perfect in every way, now could I?
"Yes, he's a really nice guy?"
"Can you pass some more soap, this piece has nearly
gone?"
I got down and got the bit from the washbasin and pulled
back the curtain to give it to him and there stood this
little 11 year old with lather all around his dick and
jerking it for all his worth. It was only a little dick
and I couldn't see any hairs [I couldn't see anything
with all that lather!] but he obviously knew what it was
for. He went red and turned away so I smiled and dropped
the curtain and said "Sorry." As I did so I realized I
was hard!
So I said "Are you okay doing that on your own?"
"Why, do you want to help me?"
"If you'll help me as well."
"Okay."
So I left my towel on the windowsill and got in the
shower with this little eleven year old; and I have to
tell you that he was keen on doing it! His dick was
really cute, too. I knew we'd be okay for a little
while, nobody would come looking for us for some time
yet. I'd hardly got in there when he had my dick in his
hand, he had very small hands but they were all slippery
with soap and he had obviously done this before. I took
hold of his dick and started stroking it whilst I put my
other arm round him and started rubbing his back. He put
an arm round me as well which was great as I had been
missing cuddling with Paul probably more than I had
missed the sex with him. I don't know why but I planted
a little kiss on Michael's head and he just lifted his
mouth to mine and shoved his tongue right in my mouth!
Suddenly I was harder than ever. This little boy was
quite a kisser! I slipped my hand down his back on to
his buns and he kissed me harder, so I slipped my fingers
into his crack and towards his butt hole and his kissing
got even more frantic - I was getting pretty frantic by
this time as well. He had one soapy hand wanking me off,
one sexy mouth getting me going, his other hand was
stroking my back whilst he was by now letting me finger
his hole with first one finger and then two whilst I
jerked him off with my other hand. POW!!! I exploded in
an orgasm and at almost the same moment he had an 11 year
old's dry orgasm that had him shuddering in my arms! It
was amazing!
We held one another for a little while and kissed some
more then we began to get worried about the time so we
washed one another off under the warm water and got out
and got dry. He said he would go straight to bed whilst
I headed downstairs for some supper. He said he'd stay
awake for me and the look in his eyes was pure lust - I
was already imagining the times we could have when Paul
got back. I told him I would be back soon but that we'd
have to wait for the house to settle down before we did
anything else.
When I got downstairs I told the staff that Michael had
gone to bed so one of them went up to tuck him in and say
goodnight - he was already a hit with the staff and
with the kids as well.
I went up to bed a short time later and he was still
awake. I got undressed and then went over to give him a
kiss and he immediately grabbed my dick and started
jerking it.
"Not yet, we'll have to wait a while in case they check
the room, just give me a kiss."
So I sat on his bed and we snogged a bit whilst he played
with my dick and I played with his. Then we heard other
people coming upstairs so I got in my own bed and we
chatted quietly for a while until somebody came around
and checked us all. A few minutes later and the corridor
lights were dimmed and I was in his bed in about 10
seconds - his bed was furthest from the wall with
Chris's room so would be safer but, as I whispered in his
ear, we would have to be very quiet, we couldn't risk
anybody finding out.
I'm telling you that this was one HOT eleven year old. I
didn't know then where he learnt his stuff but he knew it
all - and he was so hungry! We snogged a bit more and
then he broke away so he could suck my nipples and then
moved down to my dick - I tell you that that hot little
mouth working away on it with his tongue swirling round
the top was heavenly. He came back up and kissed me
again for a while then said:
"Do you want to do me? You know, up my bum?"
Did I ever! But I wanted to wait a bit first, I got down
and sucked on his little dick. I pulled back the
foreskin so I could get my tongue swirling like he had on
me - he loved it. I stopped for a moment to suck my
fingers then went back to his dick whilst getting my
fingers around his crack. As I started to do this he
arched his back to push his dick further into my mouth
and to give me more room to get at his arse. I got one
finger up no trouble and so I slipped the second one in
again and had him bucking back against my hand whilst he
fucked my mouth. I was a bit shocked by this but then
remembered that at his age I had loved my getting my
dad's dick right up my arse, he even got his police
truncheon up there a few times!
One thing I loved was the smoothness of Michael, the fact
that he had no hair down there at all. He was so
beautiful.
In minutes he was having another dry orgasm as he held my
head tight against him. As he got over it he pushed me
down on to the bed and told me to lick his bum to get it
nice and wet while he sucked my dick a bit. This took a
very enjoyable minute or two then he turned round and
knelt over me, with one knee either side of my chest and,
holding my dick in one handed guided himself down on to
it. As it went in his dick went fully hard again so he
was obviously enjoying this as much as I was. He stayed
up there and even in the dark I could see the big smile
on his face then he leant forward to kiss me. It was a
gorgeous moment then he sat up again and started bouncing
on my dick. I knew we had to very quiet as I was sure
Chris wouldn't keep his mouth shut about this, with me
being so much older, but silence was difficult as I shot
my wad up that little boy's arse.
After I had come he stayed where he was with my dick up
his bum and wanked himself off again and when he came he
clamped his arse muscles tight round my dick again which
got me hard again really fast - and really hard! He
was amazing!
Over the weeks I got to know his story, it was so very
different from mine and yet we ended up in just the same
place.
I still can't believe he is dead.
Intermission
The airport in Dubai is a shopper's paradise - there is
almost nothing that you can't buy. Except time, peace of
mind, closure.
I have four hours here before my flight on to Singapore.
I shall buy a few presents for home - I didn't buy
anything in England except the shoes. Why did I buy
them? I never wear shoes. I hate shoes. Perhaps I did
buy them for him after all - very English brown
brogues. What was it that that French missionary called
me a year or two ago? "Un vrai Anglais"?
A true Englishman.
I am not sure about that - but then at the moment I am
not sure about anything.
My name is Martin and I am on my way home. That is about
all I know.
My name is Martin and I am very tired.
My name is Martin and I am trying to get through this
shit so that when I get home I can seek real closure, so
I can begin to move ahead again, so I can lay his ghost.
With Mikey dead I have two ghosts to lay - a good one
and a bad one.
My name is Martin and I can't wait to get home to be held
and cuddled and loved and needed.
I sound like a fucking AA meeting!
I wonder if people often sit in airports in floods of
tears. An Englishman in early middle age sitting with
tears streaming down his cheeks.
Mikey is dead. How can he be dead? That fucking virus!
Perhaps they will think I am just overtired from the
journey, perhaps they will think I am a loony.
Mikey, I haven't seen you for so long and now you are
gone. I never got to say goodbye, I never even asked
where your grave is, perhaps I could have come and
visited you. Just to say goodbye.
Shopping. Retail therapy. Put it all on plastic, I'll
worry about paying for it later. Get some presents for
them all. Perhaps a special something for "he who must
be obeyed."
Stop being maudlin. Close this machine. Get up. Spend.
Chapter 4 Michael's Story
Michael had lived at home with his real parents until he
was seven which was when his mother died from cancer.
She had been ill for a while, it seemed to him like she
had been ill all his life. After that he and his dad
stayed on in the house together and his dad changed his
work hours so as to be able to look after Michael better
but he still went to a childminder after school. He was
very unhappy because he missed his mother but he and his
dad got on well and were good pals. One day about six
months after his mother died and just one week before his
eighth birthday Michael woke and knew it was past getting
up time. He went in to see what had happened to his dad
and he was just lying there in bed. Michael tried to
wake him but he couldn't, and his dad was very cold to
touch. Michael got very frightened and didn't know what
to do so he picked up the phone and dialled 999 and asked
for an ambulance. He was screaming down the phone that
his daddy wouldn't wake up and he didn't know what to do.
Soon an ambulance and a police car arrived but he
couldn't open the front door as he couldn't reach the top
bolt so the policeman had to break the glass in the door
and put his hand in through the glass to undo it whilst
Michael screamed on the other side.
Of course, as he had realised by then, his dad was dead.
They told him later that something bad had happened to
his heart during the night. Michael was screaming and
didn't know what to do, he was only 7 years old and he
was alone in the world. He had no aunts or uncles or
grandparents so some social workers came and took him to
a foster home not far from his school. His foster mother
was lovely and held him a lot over the next few days as
he cried and cried. He liked his foster father, too. He
called them Uncle Derek and Aunty Barbara, he couldn't
call them mum and dad, and they understood that. And
they had a son and a daughter. The daughter, Rebecca,
was 14 and the son, Danny, was 10, nearly 11. He and
Danny shared a room and Danny was really good to him,
lending him toys and playing with him but it was the
night-times that were the worst, when he felt so alone.
Sometimes, when it seemed that he couldn't stop crying,
Danny would come over and get in bed with him and hold
him until he fell asleep.
Danny was very musical, he sang in the church choir and
he also played the violin. The choirmaster at church was
also his violin teacher - he was a nice man who often
came to the house, he had grown up with Uncle Derek and
Aunty Barbara and they had all gone to school together.
One hot night when he had been there a month and had long
since had his very sad birthday Michael couldn't sleep
and was very tearful and Danny said quietly, "Do you want
me to come over there with you?"
"Yes, please."
"It's hot tonight and I've got nothing on, do you want me
to put my pyjamas back on?"
"No, its okay." Michael was quite excited by this idea
but he didn't know why.
Danny came over and got in with him and they cuddled and
then he said "Why don't you take your things off as
well?" So Michael undressed and they lay there together
naked. After a while Danny kissed him on the cheek so
Michael kissed back, then Danny kissed him on the lips so
Michael kissed back there as well. The Danny said "Do
you want to try a better way of kissing?"
"How?"
"Open you mouth when we kiss and then we can put our
tongues in one another's mouths."
"That's gross!" said Michael.
"No, honest, I think you'll like it."
So Michael tried it. Danny kissed him full on the mouth
with his lips open and put his tongue right in and their
tongues starting playing. Danny was right, Michael did
like it. When they had a break Michael's said "My
willy's gone hard, feel it." So Danny put his hand down
and started feeling Michael's willy and said, "So's
mine." And guided Michael's hand down to hold it. They
lay there for a while then Danny started stroking
Michael's dick up and down - it felt wonderful, better
than anything he had ever felt so he started doing it to
Danny - and while they were doing it they kissed some
more. After a few moments Michael had his ever first
orgasm, a dry one of course, and shortly afterwards Danny
had one too. "That was brilliant," said Michael, "Where
did you learn to do that?"
"A friend showed me, and there lots more we can do as
well." And that night Michael learnt a lot more, not
everything but a lot.
Every night after that they had sex together, often
several times, and Michael learnt more about sucking and
licking and kissing and rubbing - and eventually about
fucking. Danny took a long time to teach him this but
eventually it happened and although it hurt a little bit
at first Michael loved it when he could feel Danny there
deep inside him.
It was a few nights later that as they lay there together
Danny said "I have told my friends about you, you know
the ones I have sex with, the ones who taught me this
stuff, and they'd like to meet you if you want to meet
them. What do you think? But you would have to promise
that you will never, ever tell mum or anybody else."
"I promise - but can I? Can I really?"
"Sure, but you must remember that you don't tell anyone
and, if you get a surprise invitation to come with me,
you say `Yes' - Okay?"
"Okay!"
It was just the next afternoon when he got home from
school that Michael noticed the choirmaster's car outside
the house. When he went in there was Danny already
changed after school and coming downstairs with his
violin case and there was Mr Brownley waiting for him
together with Gary, another member of the choir. Danny
winked at Michael. Mr Brownley said to Danny's mum, "Why
don't I take Mikey with me as well? He can watch some
television with Gary while I teach Danny and then with
Danny while I teach Gary and then I'll give them their
tea and bring them back later. What do you think
Barbara?"
"That's fine by me if Mikey wants to go - what do you
think dear?"
"Yes please, I'd love to."
"Okay then, off you go. See you all later. But you,
Frank Brownley, you have them back here by eight
o'clock."
"Orrrr, Mum, eight is far too early!" said Danny.
"Half past and that's my last word. - Scoot. Have a
good time."
"Hang on, I'll just go and change." And with that
Michael dashed upstairs and put on some old shorts over
his already hard little cock and then a baggy t-shirt
that hung down to hide the details. Then they piled in
the car and as Frank checked Michael's seat belt was
fastened properly he slid his other hand up the leg of
his shorts and squeezed his dick. Michael was in heaven.
"Do you want to join our club then Mikey?"
"Yes, please, if I can."
"I think we'll let you - but it's a secret club, you
know that?"
"I promise I'll never tell anyone."
"Okay, let's go."
He was seated in the middle of the back seat with the
other boys each side of him. Before they had gone a
hundred yards their hands were everywhere! Then they
decided to strip Michael right there in the car - he
loved it! He was a bit frightened that people could see
in but the car had tinted windows so Danny told him it
was safe. He and Gary then stripped too so Michael had a
naked boy each side and a dick in each hand.
When they got to Frank's house he drove straight into the
garage then got out and closed the outer door before the
boys got out of the car and went straight into the
kitchen through the door from the garage.
As soon as they got in Frank's house, where he lived
alone, Frank also stripped his clothes off. "We don't
normally wear clothes in here," said Frank, "it's warm
enough without." And with that he was stripped and
Michael saw a naked man for the first time, he found it
really exciting. None of the others was fully hard, but
he was!
They all went into a room with a piano and a music stand
and a stereo system and Frank said "We really are going
to have a music lesson for an hour, do you want to be in
here with us do you want to go in the other room with
Gary and looked at photographs or watch a video?" with
that he showed him some books full of pictures of boys
having sex, it was so exciting. "I have videos of the
same sort of thing."
"I'll look after him, Frank," said Gary and put his arm
round Michael's shoulder. "We'll watch a video and I
might show him my picture book."
Gary led the way to the next room, opened a cupboard and
got out a videocassette and put it in the machine. He
then grabbed the remote control and plonked himself down
on the sofa, Michael was still standing feeling very
confused, naked in someone else's house with another
naked boy, almost a complete stranger. Gary spoke first
"Come and sit by me and we'll have some fun, this is one
of my favourites."
Michael looked at the screen where three naked boys were
rolling around together on a big bed. He went and sat
down and realised that he was still very hard. Gary just
sat there watching the show and stroking his dick which
was fully hard by now and seemed enormous. Michael did
as he was told and sat there half watching the screen and
half watching Gary. Gary leant over and took Michael's
hand and placed it on his dick, then he put his own hand
on Michael's dick. Mikey was in heaven!
He watched the video and he stroked the big boy dick in
his hand then he got brave and he leant over and took it
into his mouth and started running his tongue over the
head. It was bigger than Danny's but he could manage it
easily. It tasted wonderful. After a few minutes Gary
pulled his dick out of his mouth and said "Stop, kid,
stop. I don't wanna cum just yet. Just stroke it okay."
So Michael snuggled in and gently stroked this wonderful
prize and watched the show for a while. On the screen
one of the boys was screwing another one who was in turn
sucking off the third - it was great. Then the one
doing the screwing pulled his dick out, pumped it a few
times and white creamy stuff flew out of the end.
"What's that stuff?"
"That's cum, you get to make it as you get older."
"Do you make it?"
"Yup, started last month."
On the screen the boy who had been being sucked leant
down and licked the stuff off the middle one's back.
"What does it taste like?"
"It's great, a bit salty, but I love it."
"Can I taste yours?"
"You can if you suck me off."
So Michael did, he didn't know it but he had been
practising for this moment for weeks. It wasn't long
before Gary came into his mouth and although a little bit
dribbled down his chin he swallowed the rest - Gary was
right, it was a bit salty but it was so lovely! Whilst
he still had some in his mouth Gary kissed him deeply and
tasted his own, and then licked the rest from Mikey's
chin and neck. Then they curled up together again to
watch the rest of the movie. Mikey was still hard but he
was okay about it and Gary kept hold of it and stroked it
gently.
Later in the movie one of the boys was lying back on the
bed with his legs in the air and another boy was kneeling
in front of him with his dick in his hole. Michael saw
that Gary was hard again so said "Do you want to try
that?" and lifted up his legs. Gary didn't need to be
asked twice, he opened a drawer in the video cabinet and
brought out a tube of clear jelly and put some on his
dick and some on Mikey's hole and then said "Are you
sure?"
"Yeah, I really want you to."
Gary was a lot bigger than Danny and it hurt again for a
moment as he pushed the head past the sphincter but then
it was wonderful - as soon as Gary was in Mikey's dick
was harder than ever so he just had to work on it. It
didn't take him long and as he came his muscles clamped
down on Gary's dick just like they had on Danny's and it
brought Gary to the boil again and Mikey could feel him
shooting his load deep inside.
They were just finishing when Danny and Frank walked in,
still naked. Mikey was very embarrassed at first but the
others just laughed, so he laughed too. Lying there with
his legs in the air and Gary's dick still up his bum.
"Well, you two seem to be having fun," said Frank. "Can
we join in?"
As he was talking Michael could see both Frank and Danny
getting hard - Frank's dick seemed enormous to the
little 8 year old but he liked it and really wanted to
play with it. Gary pulled his dick out of Mikey and
wiped it off with a tissue then, still on his knees,
leant forward and took Frank's dick into his mouth. But
Frank looked down at Mikey and Mikey looked back and
smiled so Frank pushed Gary away and said, "No, you play
with Danny, I want to play with Mikey."
Michael was in heaven, he imitated what Gary had done and
knelt on the floor to take Frank's big man dick in his
mouth. It was a real struggle but he got the head right
in and started using his tongue on the head as much as he
could, at the same time he got his hands round the shaft
and started stroking it.
"That's wonderful, kid. Just let me sit down."
Frank sat on the sofa and Mikey climbed up next to him
and started sucking again. As Danny had taught him he
didn't just suck and play with the shaft, he tickled this
big man's balls as well and started pushing his fingers
down towards his bum. At the same time Frank was running
his hands over Mikey and stroking his back and his dick
and his bum. When he got to his arse he slipped a finger
into the hole, still slick with Gary's cum and the lube
he used. When he did this Mikey started sucking harder
and pumping him more so he slipped a second finger in and
got an even bigger response. He pulled him up off his
cock and held him at face level to kiss - God, the boy
could kiss as well! He held him gently but firmly then
started moving him down on to his own dick. Mikey soon
realized what he was wanting so put his hand behind him
whilst Frank held his weight and guided the big man cock
towards his waiting hole. He knew this was going to hurt
a bit at first but he really wanted it, he knew it would
prove something to him and to them. His own little dick
was throbbing hard before Frank's even touched his hole.
Slowly Frank lowered him on - Michael squirmed a bit
with the pain but suddenly Frank was inside him and it
felt tight but wonderful.
Frank leant down and kissed him on the mouth and then
began pumping gently into Mikey's bum whilst stroking his
little dick as well. When they stopped kissing Michael
looked around and saw that Gary and Danny were sitting on
the floor playing with one another's cocks and watching
him and Frank. He grinned a big grin at them and they
grinned back.
Then Frank stood up, lifting Mikey with him, still
pinioned on the man's dick and then knelt on the floor
with Mikey lying back on the sofa, just like he had been
for Gary and started fucking him harder. The boys came
and sat either side of him now and were stroking his dick
and his chest and his nipples and Danny put his hand down
and stroked the lips of Mikey's hole as Frank's dick
pounded in and out. It all felt too wonderful for Mikey
and then Danny slipped a finger inside him with Frank's
dick and that was it, another dry orgasm forced him to
clamp down on Frank's cock and Danny's finger and Frank
came almost immediately. Things were so tight down there
that Mikey could feel Frank's cum pulsing, pumping,
surging into him. He was exhausted.
Frank pulled out and leant down to kiss Mikey long and
tenderly on the mouth and his nipples and then his dick.
Then he stood up and said "Okay Gary, lesson time, get on
that piano. Danny, look after Mikey and then we'll have
some tea."
Frank and Gary went out and Mikey and Danny curled up
together on the sofa. Neither of them said anything for
a while.
"Are you okay, kid?" asked Danny.
"I'm great. Thanks Danny this is wonderful, I am so
happy you brought me here." With that Mikey kissed Danny
full on the mouth.
"I sucked Gary off before, his stuff tasted lovely. When
will you start to get some?"
"I don't know, it should be soon. Why, do you want to
taste it?"
"I'll want to taste it every night! Do you think Frank
will let me taste his as well?"
"I'm sure he will, and there are other men as well, and
other boys and they'll all let you taste them."
"You mean there are more people like this?"
"Lots more, but it has to be a secret. You understand
that, don't you?"
"I promised, didn't I?"
"Yes, love, you promised."
"I love you Danny."
"And I love you, too."
"Do you want to do me now? Everybody else has."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes, I want you too."
"Okay kneel on the floor and bend over the sofa and we'll
do it that way."
Mikey knelt down as he was told and Danny started
fingering him. Mikey could feel him put in one finger,
then two, then three, then four. "I think I could put my
whole fist in here," he said. "Go on, try it," said
Michael. He felt his hole being stretched still more,
this was bigger than Frank's cock. Then suddenly the
pain went and he could feel Danny's hand inside him.
"Hey, my hand is all the way in. Your arse is round my
wrist. How does that feel?"
"It feels great but won't your hand get kind of grungy?"
"I can always wash it. It looks kind of weird."
"Well go and wash it and then come back and do me, that's
what I really want."
"Okay."
He went off for a minute and came back and Mikey then got
screwed for the third time afternoon. It was bliss.
After Gary's music lesson Frank cooked them some tea and
they all sat around naked to eat it. Afterwards Frank
asked what they wanted to do with the last hour before he
took them home.
"Let's show Mikey the photo books and then I think he
wants to suck you off," said Danny.
Mikey blushed deep scarlet but at the same time his dick
went hard again.
"Okay, help me clear away first."
After they had tidied up the kitchen they went back to
the lounge and the other two boys got photo albums out of
the cupboard. They had their names on them and were full
of pictures of them each having sex with Frank and one
another and other men and boys.
"Sometimes Frank will have a party and lots of people
will come," said Gary. "Look here is a party here." The
picture had obviously been taken in that very room and
there were four naked men on the sofa and they each had a
naked boy on their knee and all eight of them had hard
dicks and were smiling at the camera. Gary was one of
the boys.
On another picture Mikey saw that Danny was kneeling and
bending over and a man was putting what looked like a big
black plastic sausage up his bum.
"What's that?"
"That's one of Frank's toys. Show him, Frank."
Frank went and got a briefcase from the next room and
opened it up to show half a dozen dildos and vibrators of
different sizes. Danny picked one up and said "That's
the one!" He played with it a little while and then he
said, "Can I show him, Frank?"
"Sure, go ahead." So Danny got the lube out again and
put some on the toy and some on his hole. He lay back on
the sofa and brought his legs up and was just about to
push it up himself when Gary took it off him and said
"No, I'll put it in for you." So while Danny held his
arse cheeks apart Gary pushed the big dildo up him slowly
but firmly. Mikey was fascinated and was hard as a rock
again so he leant forward and took Danny's beautiful cock
in his mouth and started sucking it. Then Frank knelt on
the sofa and pushed his cock into Danny's waiting mouth.
After a few minutes of this Mikey made his move and
pushed Danny off Frank's cock and took it into his own
mouth. Danny then started licking Frank's balls and it
wasn't long before Mikey's wish came true and the man
came into his mouth. As he was coming, Danny half pushed
him off the cock so he could share the taste. As they
were licking off the last Gary started pushing Michael
down on to the sofa and lifting up his legs so Mikey just
lay back and let himself be fucked again by the older boy
whilst Frank stroked him to ecstasy.
Afterwards they collapsed in a heap on the sofa. Frank
mumbled, "We'll have to go in a minute." But he made no
move to go.
Suddenly Danny sat up and said "I almost forgot, look
what Mikey can do. Lie back Mikey." So he lay back down
and brought his legs up to his chest whilst Danny knelt
down and first carefully lubed his fingers then started
putting them in one by one. It was a lot easier this
time and soon Danny was buried up to the wrist in the
little boy's bum. The other two were very impressed and
were both fully hard again. "Damn that we've got no
time," said Frank.
"C'mon Danny, wash your hands and all of you get dressed,
we've got to scoot!"
"My clothes are in the car," said Michael. Suddenly he
threw his arms around Frank's neck and gave him a big hug
and kiss.
"Am I okay to be part of your club? Will I be able to
come back?"
"Of course you will, I'll see you at the weekend. -
C'mon the others are ready, let's get you home."
Chapter 5
That night as Michael and Danny lay curled up together
after they had had sex Michael said, "Thanks Danny, this
is the best day I have had since I came here." He kissed
Danny full on the mouth. "Frank is a nice man, isn't he?
I like him, do you think he liked me?"
"Yes, love, he liked you and I am sure his friends are
going to like you as well."
"Do you think he'll let me play with those toys like you
did? Did it hurt very much when you did that?"
"No, it only hurts a bit when you try one a bit larger
but then it feels lovely, like when I put my fist up your
bum this afternoon. Did that hurt?"
"Only a little bit then it was nice. But do you think I
can play with those toys? Do you?"
"I'm sure Frank will let you, just ask him when we go
there."
"When can we go there again?"
"My next violin lesson is on Saturday, you can come along
then if mum agrees."
"I love you Danny."
"I love you too, now go to sleep."
On Saturday Aunty Barbara was okay about Mikey going with
Danny but told him not to get in the way and not to
interfere with the music lessons. Mikey promised he
would be good, he didn't tell her that he had lessons of
his own planned.
Frank taught all morning Saturday so the boys had to make
their own way there but Aunty Barbara was easily
persuaded to drop them at the corner of Frank's road on
the way to the shops. As they walked up from the corner
Mikey said "I'm hard already." Danny smiled and took his
hand, "So am I, I always am on a Saturday. Just wait
until we get there."
When they got to the house Frank answered the door in his
track suit and let them in. Mikey noticed that there
were already lots of clothes and shoes about so he
stripped his off just as Danny was doing as Frank, naked
again already, stood and watched. When Mikey was naked
Frank picked him up and kissed him on the mouth, then
holding him with one arm started fondling his hard little
boy penis with the other. "Come and meet the others," he
said and carried Mikey into the room with the television,
followed by Danny.
There were three naked boys already in the room, Gary was
the only one Mikey knew but he learnt that the biggest
boy was Dave, who was 14 and had a big willy for a boy
and quite a lot of hair round it and the smallest one was
Jake who was 9 and only about the same size as Mikey. At
the moment that they walked into the room Gary had his
dick buried deep inside Jake who had a big grin on his
face. Dave was sitting watching and stroking his own
dick.
Gary smiled at Mikey. "Hi Mikey, why don't you sit on
Dave's dick, that'll shut him up until I've finished
here."
"Okay," said Mikey as he kissed Frank full on the lips
ands then struggled down out of his arms. "Hang on,"
said Frank. "I think we'd better lube you up first."
He got out the tube and, lying Mikey down on his stomach,
started to put some lube round his bum. Dave got up and
joined in. "Is it true that Danny put his whole fist in
there?"
"Yup, we all saw it," said Frank.
"Can I try it?"
"You'll have to ask Mikey later, but first of all I
suggest that you try it with that thing between your legs
- just give me a quick suck of it first."
Mikey turned round to watch the scene and there was Jake
lying back on the sofa with his legs in the air and Gary
buried deep inside him. There was Frank who had three
fingers up Mikey's bum and who had Dave's dick in his
mouth whilst Danny was sucking tenderly on Frank's man
dick.
Suddenly Frank stopped and said, "Daniel. Violin. Music
room."
"Can't we just play this morning?"
"No, you mother is paying me to teach you the violin so
you will bloody well learn it, we can have fun later."
As Mikey lay there with Dave now probing his bum with his
fingers, he gathered up his courage. "Frank, can I play
with your toys as well, please?" Frank slapped him
gently on his bum, "You naughty boy, of course you can -
but only after we finished all the lessons - I want to
watch!"
A few moments later the noise of Danny tuning up his
violin came wafting through the room but Mikey, lying on
the sofa next to Jake, hardly noticed as all his
attention was focused on the glorious feeling of a 14
year old dick sliding slowly up his rectum. He reached
over and took hold of Jake's willy and Jake took hold of
his and then they kissed and wanked one another as the
big boys fucked their arses.
Gary came first, as Mikey saw Gary's face change and his
head begin to go back he speeded up his wanking of Jake's
dick. Gary exploded into Jake and then Jake shuddered
and squealed as he tried to expel the non-existent cum
from his own balls. All the noise and fuss soon pushed
Dave over the edge with Mikey not far behind. Four
exhausted smiling boys cuddled up together on the sofa
and watched more boys getting it on on the porno video.
Being young it wasn't long before they were at it again
- this time Gary fucked Dave leaving the two young boys
together so Jake slipped his hairless little rod into
Mikey.
During the morning all the other boys fucked Mikey at
various times - Dave and Jake both did it twice. Mikey
loved every minute of it. After the last music lesson
Frank made lunch, which they all ate sitting around nude,
and then the fun began again.
The six of them went back into the room with the
television. Frank said "Okay Mikey, you're the newest,
what do you want to do?"
"Can I play with the toys, please?"
"Of course you can. Can we all watch?"
"Sure."
Frank brought out his "toy box" and Mikey feasted his
eyes on the range of "appliances" on offer. He played
with them to see what they were like. Some were just
solid whilst some were battery driven and vibrated when
switched on! This was so exciting for an eight year old!
Also in the case were some empty plastic bags with tubes
running from them that ended in a nozzle with a tap. He
was mystified.
"Frank, what are these for?"
Frank looked up from servicing Jake's arse. "Those are
for giving an enema, that is when you wash out your bum
with warm water or oil or something."
"That sounds gross!"
"No," said Jake, "it feels ace. You really need to try
it - when Frank and I have finished I'll show you."
"Okay." He wasn't sure but he was willing to give it a
go.
Meanwhile Danny started showing Mikey more of the toys
and talking about what ones the younger boy wanted to
try. Mikey really liked the idea of a vibrator and he
also liked the butt plugs so that he could leave it in
and it wouldn't just drop out. Danny was hunting through
the case. "Frank, where's the vibrating butt plug?
Mikey wants to try it."
Frank was panting a bit by this stage but he managed to
sort of reply, "There are . . . two . . . bedside cabinet
. . . . . . . aaaaargh! . . . . my bedroom . . ."
"Thanks Frank."
Danny took Mikey's hand and led him upstairs to the front
bedroom. As they left the room they heard Frank groaning
louder and louder until, as they got to the top of the
stairs they heard "Oh fuck, oh Jake . . . shit . . .
AAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHH!!."
Frank's bedroom was strange, there was a sort of leather
hammock hanging by chains from the ceiling in the bay
window and there was a strange metal frame in a corner
that looked a bit like the place they used to put thieves
in the olden days so people could throw things at them.
Mikey didn't understand at all. Danny said that Frank
had other parties when boys weren't invited and that is
when they used this stuff.
On the bedside cabinet there were two butt plugs each
with wires leading from it to sort of combined battery
and control boxes with a sliding switch on the side. The
smaller one looked immediately manageable to the little
boy but he eyed the other, bigger one enviously. Danny
got him to lie on his back on the bed and pull his legs
up then he grabbed a tube of KY and lubed up Mikey's
little arse, sticking two fingers inside to spread the
lube properly. Then he lubed up the smaller butt plug.
"Are you ready for this?"
"Yes please, Danny. Put it up me."
Mikey was already hard but as the older boy inserted the
plug through the sphincter and into the rectum he became
even harder. It was so exciting! It went in quite
easily, just a little tug of pain at the end as the
thickest part pushed past the muscle. Once it was in
Mikey was in heaven.
"How do I make it shake?"
"Here you are, you just slide this little thingy here.
Go on, have a go."
Mikey slid the switch and could feel the most delicious
sensations washing over him. His cock hurt, it was so
hard. He pushed a little more to increase the speed and
immediately went into overdrive with an orgasm. Danny,
his faithful Danny held him.
"Wow, you liked that, didn't you?"
Mikey could hardly speak, he was so overwhelmed.
"Switch it off while we walk downstairs or you might fall
over."
"Yeah, okay."
He found that even walking with it inside him was
exciting, it was wonderful, he was already dreaming of
getting his own, but he thought he might have trouble
explaining it to Danny's mum!
When they got back in the room with the others downstairs
Gary and Dave were sixty-nine-ing whilst Jake was pushing
a large toy into Frank. Mikey turned on the motor again
and then knelt down to help Jake whilst Danny started
sucking Frank's dick.
They never did get around to the enema that afternoon but
each of them in turn fucked Mikey again and then they
also tried various toys up him. Others were trying them
as well. It was fun.
When it came time to go home Mikey was in a daze, he had
never had such an incredible afternoon. It was the first
of many. Over the next couple of years he went to
Frank's about twice a week. For the first year he was
the youngest and then a couple of new boys joined the
choir and they were inducted into the club and the joys
of boy sex.
Every few months Frank would throw a party and invite the
boys and some men friends of his. Mikey loved the
parties, he loved the men's cocks, he loved having one in
his butt and one in his mouth, he reckoned it was the
best feeling in the whole world.
There was one guy who was always there who had the
biggest cock any of them had ever seen. The first time
Mikey saw it he was frightened by it, frightened and
fascinated. It looked bigger than the biggest of Frank's
toys, it was certainly too big for Mikey to fit in his
mouth. His bum was itching to try it in there.
The man was big and jovial and friendly, he grabbed Mikey
and sat him on his knee. Mikey put his hands round the
huge tool then leaned forward and kissed the man on the
lips. The man smiled back and gave Mikey a proper kiss
whilst feeling him up at the same time. Her slipped a
couple of his big fingers in the little boy's bum and
started tickling his magic spot.
"Do you want to try it, little one?"
"I'm a bit scared."
"If you want to try it I'll go very slow, and if you want
me to stop I will."
"You promise?"
"I promise. I'll get Frank to witness my promise then
Ill have to do it, won't I?"
"Okay."
"Frank!" he called Frank bustled over. "Mikey and I
want to try but I want to promise him if he wants me to
stop then I will. Will you stay with us so you can make
sure I do?"
"Sure, Phil, but can I get my video camera? This should
be on tape. Is that okay Mikey?"
"Yeah, can I watch it later?"
"Of course you can, silly."
Once again Mikey lay back on the sofa and pulled his legs
up to his chest while Frank and Phil lubed him up and got
him ready to try and take the monster prick. Word had
spread and everybody gathered round to watch.
Phil moved his dick forward until the head just touched
Mikey's hole.
"You make sure you tell me whenever you want me to slow
down or stop. Okay? You promise?"
"I promise."
"As soon as you tell me to stop I will. Everyone is
watching so they've all heard me say it."
"Okay."
Phil pushed very slowly as Frank fussed around trying to
find the best angle for his video shooting. Mikey gasped
a bit but he was okay. He nodded at Phil to carry on.
Around them everybody was either wanking their own dick
or their neighbours, it was a really hot scene. Slowly,
ever so slowly, Phil pushed his dick home until the big
flared had pushed right past the sphincter. Mikey was
sweating but wouldn't give up. It felt dreadful and
wonderful at the same time. Once the head was in, and he
sensed it was even if he couldn't see it, he knew it
would be easier. Phil grabbed hold of Mikey hips and
thrust a bit harder - still slow but steady and firm.
In a few more seconds he was totally buried in the little
boy. They were both panting as the room burst into
spontaneous applause. Not everyone clapped, some
signalled their approval by cumming all over Mikey -
those that came on his face he licked off whatever he
could. Jake, another little cum-vac, licked up the rest,
then he kissed Mikey and shared the taste with him.
As the two young boys snogged Phil started pulling out
and pushing in, gently at first but then with increasing
frenzy - Mikey was in a state of almost constant
orgasm, he wouldn't have missed it for the world. I
suppose it was like a rite of passage - and he passed
with flying colours!
- - - - -
Two years passed. Two happy years. He did well at
school, he was a popular boy and always ready for fun.
He missed his parents but slowly the pain faded and
changed as new interests appeared. It was shortly after
his tenth birthday that he first noticed that Aunty
Barbara seemed tired all the time and then she started to
look thin. She had several appointments with the doctor
and then at the hospital - Mikey didn't know why but
the situation troubled him deeply. He had no conscious
memory of this happening with his mother but it turned
out to be a repeat performance, except it was a lot
quicker. By the time Mikey was eleven Aunty Barbara was
dead. Now it was Mikey's turn to comfort Danny.
It was a terrible time. Mikey didn't know what was going
to happen to him, he was a foster child without a foster
mother. Shortly after the funeral there was a review
meeting held to work out what would be done. Uncle Derek
wanted to keep Mikey with the family. He said that he
and Barbara had been thinking of adopting him but had not
got round to getting the process going. He said he would
still like to do so. The social workers said they would
see what could be done but they were unsure. Meanwhile
Uncle Derek changed his work pattern to be free for the
kids a bit more.
Three weeks later when Uncle Derek was going to get a
pizza one evening a drunk driver lost control and swerved
into oncoming traffic hitting Uncle Derek's car head on.
He was killed instantly. That night he had left the kids
at home watching a movie.
Mikey fell apart - so did Danny and Rebecca. But it
was worse in a way for Mikey, he blamed himself, he
thought he was a jinx, he had now lost two sets of
parents.
He was taken to another foster home but he screamed and
created mayhem and refused to stay. He was moved to a
small group home but he couldn't cope with that either,
it was too homelike. In the end the social workers
decided, in desperation, to try the boys' home where I
met him. I had only lost a home without love, he had
lost two loving homes. Danny and Rebecca went to live in
the south of England with an aunt. Mikey never heard
from them again.
Intermission
Singapore airport and I am crying again.
Am I having a breakdown? Or is this the catharsis I
need?
I know I am astonishingly tired. I can't remember ever
being so tired except perhaps those long gone days when
Paul was in hospital.
A wasted few hours here. My next flight is delayed, or
so I am told, but nobody seems to know how long. It was
already supposed to be five hours here between flights.
I thought of going on the free guided tour of the city
but I have been here so many times - as a famous
[infamous?] British politician once said, it is a bit
like Croydon in the tropics. For anyone who doesn't
understand that, it is not a compliment! It's a dreary
place.
I want to get home. I will always be glad I went but I
want to get home. I didn't have time to get over the jet
lag properly whilst I was there but now suddenly my body
is on UK time and I am still heading east for another few
hours flying.
I just checked my e-mail in the cyber caf. Two
messages. Hurry home we missed you from himself and the
boys, bless `em. And thanks for your company the other
night when we went out to dinner from Mikey's ex. It is
hard to think of him as that and harder to think of Mikey
as dead. I am grieving for Mikey more than I am grieving
for the bastard we burnt - quite right too.
I loved Mikey. Mikey loved me. A well balanced
equation.
Bastard, we'll be here overnight, they are putting us in
an hotel. At least I can sleep.
Best phone home to stop them leaving or they'll be stuck
at the airport all night.
I am so tired.
- - - - - - - -
On the tarmac and about to taxi after a good night's
sleep. Six more hours flying and then two hours drive to
go.
The hotel was okay, it wasn't Raffles but it was good
enough. I could have had a free meal as well courtesy of
the airline but I walked up to Little India instead and
had a Tamil meal there, we can't get them at home and
South Indian food is unknown in most of Britain.
Wonderful and spicy and fragrant, I even got it served on
a banana leaf.
As soon as we are airborne I'll write about Paul coming
out of hospital and what happened after that. Right now
they want me to switch the lap top off until after take
off.
Chapter 6
It took Peter a year, just over a year, to die. He never
recovered consciousness. One night his body just
stopped. With that amount of brain damage there was no
hope that he would ever function again so they didn't try
to revive him, it would have been cruel.
Paul came home after about six weeks. I visited him
every day of that time. The boss of the home didn't
think it was a good idea but Chris said that he had
promised me that I could and he wouldn't break his
promise. The boss wasn't happy but he let it go.
When he eventually got home Paul still couldn't go to
school. He spent most of the day in bed. He was allowed
up a bit in the day and again in the evening. One of the
other lads went to the same school so brought him some
homework set by his teachers and I used to sit with him
and help him. He found it really difficult to
concentrate and he worried a lot about Peter.
As he got better he was able to be up longer and then he
was gradually weaned back into school. He got tired very
quickly for quite a while. One thing he insisted on,
right from when he was first able to go out, is that he
should visit Peter at least once a week. When I could I
would go with him. Paul would sit and hold Peter's hand
and talk to him. I would hold Paul's other hand. It was
during one of those visits that I learnt what had
happened the night of the "accident."
Paul had told me shortly after he started his trial at
going home that he and Peter had started messing around
in bed together. They had shared a bed quite regularly
throughout their childhood, it made them feel less alone
when their father was on the booze. Now it seemed only
natural to have sex together. So that is what happened.
That is what was happening that night. Normally they
heard their father coming and would separate until the
storm had passed but that night they didn't hear him
until he was in the room.
Then they heard him. They heard him scream at them as
first the belt then the stick came down again and again
on the two boys who a moment before had been sixty-nine-
ing on Paul's bed. Paul wept as he told me this - he
blamed himself, as the older one, for not being more
careful, for not blocking the door, for not listening
more, for not fighting back. His dad was a 6' 2" foreman
on the docks. Paul was a foot shorter and probably less
than half his father's weight.
Their mother hadn't intervened any more than mine ever
had. All she did was wait until it was over and he had
gone off searching for another bottle and then, when she
eventually looked in the room and saw the bloody mess
that he had made of his sons, then and only then did she
call an ambulance.
The police came too and took away the studded leather
belt and the cricket stump. They were both covered in
blood and hair and flesh.
Their dad was arrested and charged with something or
other, a serious assault charge. He pleaded guilty and
was sent to prison for fifteen years. A few days after
Peter died he committed suicide, he hung himself in his
cell in Strangeways Prison, Manchester. Three days later
his wife took an overdose of her nerve tablets along with
a bottle of gin and slipped peacefully away to join him.
In the space of a week Paul suddenly had no living
relatives. We were 14 by then and Mikey was 12, coming
up for 13 - and he was the strong one, he is the one
who got us through it. Him and Chris.
I am racing ahead but I need to get that down, I need to
get it out.
When Paul came out of hospital Mikey was worried about
whether he would be jealous of what he had been doing
with me. I told him not to worry. I told him I had told
Paul all about it and about what a hot little guy Mikey
was.
When we got home from school the day of Paul's discharge
Mikey told me to go up and change first. I rushed
upstairs and there he was lying in bed. My Paul. He
looked pretty terrible still but so much better than at
4.30 that morning after the "accident". He smiled across
at me as I came in the door and then we were both
momentarily shy. I walked across and sat on his bed.
"Hiya." I said.
"Hi. How was school today?"
"It was shit, we had a maths test. How was the trip back
here?"
"Sore. I felt every bump in the road. Chris drove
really carefully but it still hurt."
"It could have been worse, if Ray had come for you he
never drives slowly!"
"Where's Mikey?
"Downstairs, he wanted me to come up first, he is scared
you'll be mad at him for what we've been doing while
you've been away."
"Shall I pretend?"
"Nah, he'll be really scared. He's only eleven and he's
dead sweet."
"Do I get a kiss before he comes up?"
"Oh God, yes!"
We kissed. I would like to say that we kissed as only
lovers can but I think that would be romanticizing the
moment a bit too much. Although it was easier to kiss
there than it was in the hospital we both knew that it
wasn't totally safe.
We kissed for a long time. We kissed until there was a
timid little tap on the door and Mikey poked his head
round to see if it was safe.
"Hi, Mikey. This is Paul."
"Hi Paul." He was looking down at his feet as he said
this.
"Hi Mikey . . . . . it's okay, I'm not mad at you."
"You're not?"
"No, I'm not. Come here and give me a kiss."
"Really?"
"Yes, really."
He pecked me on the lips again to show what he meant and
Mikey sort of sidled over. Paul put an arm out and
pulled the little boy to him and hugged him then kissed
him on the cheek. Mikey turned and kissed Paul on the
lips. "Thanks," he said.
"It's okay, Martin doesn't belong to me, you know. He
can be yours as well. Perhaps all three of us can play
together. . . . But tonight, do you mind if it is just
him and me?"
"No, of course not."
"Thanks."
We then had a three way hug on the bed. It was a very
special moment for us all.
That night was even more special - it was magical.
First it was just the two of us, that was round one.
Paul was desperate to be fucked, I had never seen him so
eager since that first night. It was strange, I wanted
it to be tender and gentle and he wanted it to be raw and
rough. He won. He forced me to possess him. It was
fantastic. After we had finished he whispered for Mikey
to come and join us. We knew he had to be awake watching
us.
The three of us lay in bed together kissing and feeling
one another - mainly Paul and Mikey touching one
another's bodies and getting familiar. I was happy with
this, I loved them both. Mikey slid down Paul's body and
started licking his cock.
As he sucked and licked at Paul's cock and balls his bum
was sticking in the air right by me so I started licking
it. I licked both cheeks first then I bent down and
licked the underside of his ball sack. He moaned a bit,
even with his mouth full so I thought he was enjoying it.
I licked his perineum then I licked his crack - I kept
well away from his eager little pucker for the moment.
After his crack I went back to his perineum again - he
was getting a bit desperate by now so I slipped a hand
under him to hold his little dick and slurped my tongue
right on his hole. I licked it a couple of times as I
wanked the little dick in my hand and within seconds he
was shuddering and moaning again as he had his orgasm -
feeling all this happening shoved Paul over the edge and
he creamed into Mikey's mouth. Mikey must have sensed
something from me because he didn't swallow, he held it
in his mouth, Paul's first cum since he came out of
hospital. He turned to me and kissed me and shared it
with me - Paul's nectar.
As we all came down and cuddled together as quietly as we
could so as not to disturb Chris next door Mikey licked
his lips and said, "I wish they would bottle that so we
could put it on our chips!"
Paul and I had to bite his pillow to stop ourselves
laughing out loud. We were one quivering, giggling mass
of boys - but, thank God, we did it silently!
During all this time Chris had been helping me with my
maths for an hour twice a week. I would never get to
love maths like Paul did but I did begin to grasp it a
bit better. Whilst Paul had been in hospital the lessons
were impromptu counselling sessions as well. They
carried on but now Paul sometimes joined us so he could
get some help catching up - he was streets ahead of me
but Chris was up to it. We both flirted with him but he
clearly wasn't having any of it. I even dared to put my
hand on his leg one time when I was leaning over to get
something. He smiled at me, lifted up my hand and put it
back on my own thigh.
Paul's weakest subjects were my strongest, Geography,
History, Economics so I spent a lot of time sitting with
him in the evenings helping him to catch up. Some of the
other lads called us swats and all sorts but we were
happy. Since I had met Paul I had begun to enjoy
learning just like he did. We did other more laddish
things as well - swimming and so on. Paul played
soccer with the others whilst I looked on. I was, and
am, a bit uncoordinated for that sort of thing.
Mikey fitted right in with everything. Everyone loved
the little blond and he was a good all round athlete. He
quickly got on his school soccer team and was a cinch for
the rugby team next year when that was an option. He
also swam a lot better than either Paul or I did.
He was a hit with the other boys in other ways, he had
some amazing adventures at shower times with the older
"straight" boys. One night I walked into the bathroom to
find Denis, a big hairy 17 year old working lad, he was a
builder's mate and spent the day carrying bricks and
mixing cement, just getting dry after his shower. He put
his towel round him and called out, "Cheers Mikey, see
you later."
"Cheers Denis." A little voice from the shower.
As Denis left I coughed and said "Hi Mikey, are you
okay?"
He head poked round the curtain with a huge Cheshire Cat
grin on it.
"Mikey, what have you been doing?"
"Have you seen Denis's dick? He's huge!"
"Yeah, I know, I've seen it in here before"
Mikey's grin got broader.
"Mikey, you haven't?"
"I have. Why not? I've had bigger than that up there!"
"But he's straight!"
"Bollocks! What does that prove? C'mon, are you getting
in with me?"
What else could I do?
As we showered and played together he asked me another
question. "Do you think Chris is gay?"
I was a bit taken aback but I was honest. "Yeah, I think
so. Why do you?"
"Yeah, I'm sure he is. Have you ever tried it on with
him?"
Well, I wasn't about to give all the embarrassing details
of waving my tool at him but I did admit to flirting a
bit ". . . but it hasn't got me anywhere, he won't play."
"I really fancy him," said the 11 year old. "I think
he's gorgeous."
"Paul and I both think so too but I reckon you're wasting
your time."
"I'll work on it, I can wait. I want him so much."
"Well, you can't have him now so shall I suck you off
instead?"
"Oooh, yes please."
Chapter 7
With the end of term came our school reports. I had
always hated this before - they normally meant an extra
beating. Paul felt the same. We brought them home in
their sealed envelopes in fear and trepidation. There
was no need, we were both doing really well. Sure Paul
had more catching up to do but these were definitely the
best reports either of us had ever had. They actually
spurred us on to do more and do better. I told Chris
that there was no way I was giving up my regular maths
sessions with him - I knew that if I kept at it I might
be able to get into the sixth form and possibly beyond.
Most care kids languish in the bottom 25% of the school
system but I was determined to make something of myself
and so was Paul. Chris had helped us a lot but we were
also fighters in our own right.
Apart from the maths sessions Paul and I spent a lot of
time that summer working on his catch up. Like I said I
could help him with some subjects and Chris could help
with others. One of the part time women was an English
graduate so she chipped in a little bit to help there.
Ray, the vicious bastard who made Johnny's life hell had
come from working on the production line in a car factory
so wasn't a lot of help. In fact Johnny often joined in
the study rounds as well when he was there - over the
summer he was on a week in, week out regime back with his
parents.
By the time school started again in September two things
had happened, firstly Paul had caught up and secondly we
were both really geared to studying, we hadn't had a
break from it so getting back into term was easy for us.
We raced ahead. We were still in different schools but
we were doing almost the same courses and the schools ran
to almost the same syllabus so we were always doing about
the same stuff.
I was a different boy from the one who had been sent to
the home by the court. As I improved noises were made
about me going home. I was getting to be a model boy,
possibly even a boy a dad could be proud of - this was
a frightening prospect. Chris raised the matter one day
after our tutorial and I begged him to put it off.
"I can't go home, Chris, I just can't. You know I can't
leave Paul, I couldn't bear to be away from him. And
look what happened to him when he went home, it didn't
work, did it?"
"But your dad doesn't beat you, does he?"
I didn't know what to say, what could I possibly say?
"Martin, does your father ever hit you?"
"No, of course not," I lied, "but I'm so happy here and
I'm doing so well at school and I love Paul. Please
don't say I have to go home. Please!"
"Well, you have a review coming up soon, we'll have to
see what happens but I'll try to fight on your side."
"Thanks Chris, you're a star."
I needn't have worried. A few weeks later Paul and I
were downtown, after we had been to see Peter in
hospital, when we bumped into my sister. I hadn't seen
her for months. She looked pretty dreadful but she
brightened up when she saw me. I introduced her to Paul
as "a mate from the home" and we went to get a coke
together. She told me that the social worker had been to
see Mum and Dad one evening and had told them how well I
was doing and started talking about the possibility of me
going home - dad had exploded saying that "that fucking
little criminal isn't coming back in this house."
Paul and I breathed a sigh of relief. I asked her how
things were at home, she wouldn't, she couldn't meet my
eyes. She looked down at the table and said "Same as
always. But dad spends two or three nights a week doing
things with the scouts so we don't see too much of him."
"Are you okay?" I asked.
"Yeah, I can cope with it. I'm doing all right."
She tried to smile, she was a lousy liar.
And I didn't even want to think about what my dad might
be doing with the scouts! I probably already knew.
My review passed okay with no suggestions of moving. My
parents didn't attend, which was a hell of a relief for
me
Just before Christmas Paul had his review and there he
met his mother for the first time since he came out of
hospital nearly six months before. She had visited him
twice in six weeks then. There was to be no change for
him either, his mother was in no fit state to look after
him, she could barely look after herself.
That night the three of us lay and cuddled in Paul's bed
as he cried himself to sleep in our arms. I think that
was the last time he ever saw her.
Chapter 8
Christmas, New Year and winter passed. The three of us
carried on our almost nightly activities, Mikey carried
on his shower time adventures - he also carried on with
his pursuit of Chris but, like me, he got nowhere. He
was convinced that one day he would. He loved us as we
loved him but he adored Chris.
Easter came and went and then the anniversary of "the
accident" - that was a tough night for Paul and I. We
went to see Peter. He was still lying there, still
unconscious. Paul held his hand and I held Paul's hand.
Then I put my arms round my lover and held him whilst he
cried. He hadn't cried at the bedside for months but I
thought he might that night. As I held him I discovered
that I was crying as well - I think it was coming home
to me that it could have been "my Paul" lying there as
well. Poor Peter, poor Paul, poor us.
It was four nights later that Peter slipped away during
the night. The hospital phoned the home the next morning
to tell us. The boss was at a meeting and Chris was away
so Ray took the call. He called Paul into the office and
told him. He didn't offer him a seat or anything he just
said "The hospital just called. Your brother died in the
night, they are going to talk to your mum about the
funeral arrangements, we'll let you know as soon as we
know."
That was it. Nothing more. Not even a "sorry." Bastard.
This is when Mikey came into his own - he was superb.
He was as angry as I was but he was really calm for a 12
year old. I wanted to kill Ray and I wanted to protect
Paul, who was in a heap - I didn't know what I wanted
to do. Paul just cried. Somehow Mikey got permission
for the three of us to go out together for the afternoon.
He got us on the bus and took us down to the docks and
sat us on a bench looking out across the river. He was
magnificent. He had heard all about Peter before but he
asked again, I hated him for it thinking it would upset
Paul all the more but it was the right thing to do. He
got Paul to talk about Peter and the funny things they
had done together and the fun they had had as kids, when
they could. Paul talked and talked, he kept it light for
Mikey and so it was a joyous tribute to a special boy.
Paul thanked him later and again in bed that night,
another of our "three way cuddle but no sex" nights.
Of course, by the time of Peter's funeral Paul had no
family left. It had been due to take place just after
his Dad's suicide but was delayed because of that and his
mum died before the rescheduled date. Several of the
staff and several of the boys, including Mikey and I,
went to the funeral. His mum had requested a cremation
so that is what happened. Later the ashes were scattered
at his favourite team's soccer ground. The boss and his
wife were magnificent, they organised everything and they
consulted Paul all along the way. When they asked him if
he wanted to go to his parents' joint funeral they
accepted when he said no, they didn't push him into it as
they might. It would have been too much.
Once again Mikey, little Mikey was a tower of strength -
he even took on some of the bigger lads when they poked
fun at Paul crying all the time.
- - - - -
Thank heaven for blessed routine. Soon we were faced
with end of year exams - and Mikey was facing his own
set as well. We were all glad to bury ourselves back in
our studies, it gave us a welcome release from the other
traumas in our lives.
My end of year report was amazing, I got all As and Bs,
mostly As [B's in maths and the sciences] and the final
comment from the headmaster read;
"An excellent year's work. If Martin continues in this
fashion he should be university material."
WOW!
Paul, just to cap me got all As, every single one! He
also got a similarly encouraging remark from his
headteacher giving an expectation that Paul would be
doing well the following year when we did our "O" levels.
The next year flew by. Our relationships deepened. It
was always Paul and I at the core and Mikey understood
that. He wasn't an "also ran" because we loved him
dearly and he knew it, it was just that Paul and I were
in love, we were each the centre of the other's universe.
We had great fun in that room at the end of the corridor.
Mikey took to coming home late from school because he
went cottaging on the way. There were a couple of well
used public toilets in the area and he would nip in for
half an hour and service a few boys or men depending on
who turned up. He arrived home very flustered one night
having just escaped a police raid - his blond hair and
blue eyes had helped him convince the police that he had
just popped in for a pee! I wondered if my bastard of an
adoptive father was there at the time. Or he could even
have been one of Mikey "clients" there!
No, he was probably screwing a scout.
Three events stand out that winter and the spring that
followed. First, of course, were our mock exams for our
"O" levels - Paul and I were both very nervous but also
strangely confident. Does that make sense or is
hindsight clouding things? Christmas was fun but was
also an orgy of preparation for the exams. It is funny
but our attitude had rubbed off and several other kids
were studying hard as well.
We did well in the exams, we were both happy with our
performance, as were our schools and the staff at the
home. Things were really looking good.
The second thing to happen was a new boy being admitted,
a 14 year old. He seemed a nice enough lad, quite a big
lad for his age. He was coming from another home which
had mainly younger kids. He had become a bit of a
handful, not a bully, just they weren't geared to cope
with that age group. I overheard one of the staff
mention "hormone problems" so I guessed I knew what some
of the problems might be! He did a preliminary visit to
see what he thought of it and Mikey got to show him
round. At the time there was a one room with two beds,
both empty so he was going to go in there. The boss
asked Mikey if he would mind going in there as well to
help the new boy settle down a bit, no new boy was
normally put in a room on his own. Mikey was a bit upset
at the idea of leaving us but he agreed, he felt he
hadn't got much option. He also thought that Joey was
cute!
Apparently Joey was very enthusiastic about moving and
was with us within the week. Mikey left us and moved
into the room down the corridor to be with him. As far
as Mikey was concerned the move was a huge success -
huge being the operative word. The reports we received
suggested that Joey was very well blessed in the size
department and not averse to letting Mikey do anything he
wanted with it. We had lost our playmate and he had
found a new one.
Shortly afterwards the third thing happened. Paul and I
were told that we were to have a joint review - we
didn't understand, how could a joint review be held on
two unrelated boys? We were a bit paranoid so we tackled
the boss about it a couple of days after we heard the
news. He was in the office so we had him trapped! He
could be elusive if he wanted to get away. He calmed us
a bit, he said that we would each have our own review but
that afterwards there would be a joint meeting with the
two of us and our social workers and some other people.
He told us not to worry, that there was nothing bad about
to happen, in fact, he said, it could be very good news!
He wouldn't be pushed any further and disappeared into
his flat, where we couldn't follow, to watch a soccer
match on TV.
The reviews duly arrived. My parents still refused to
attend and Paul of course had no parents. My review was
fairly brief, I was praised for my school work, was asked
if I had any problems, was I happy where I was, the usual
stuff. I must have been out in only about 15 minutes.
Paul was in next and was out equally quickly. We were
told to go and do some schoolwork in the study room and
that we would be called back shortly for another meeting
when "the others" arrived.
Very curious.
About an hour later Chris, more smartly dressed than we
had ever seen him, came and called us into the other
meeting. There were a boatload of other people there -
well, about a dozen, far bigger than is usual. It was a
bit scary.
The man in charge of the meeting was a guy from social
services head office, we knew he was pretty important, we
had met him a few times over the years. When we came in
he stood up and shook our hands and waved us over to a
couple of seats and told us to get comfortable.
"Okay you guys, I am Don Simpson and I run this side of
things for the department. I know you are probably
wondering what all this is about so I'll tell you. If
you have questions, and I'm sure you will have, you can
ask when I've finished. If you think of questions later
then you can still ask anybody who has been at this
meeting and they will try to answer them. If they can't
then you phone me or come and see me downtown - I
promise I'll make time to see you. Okay so far?"
"Yes sir."
"No, please call me Don."
"Yes Don." From Paul.
"You two have been here a long time and you are doing
really well. We are all very pleased with how you have
been doing, we know it hasn't been easy for either of
you. There is nothing bad in what I am going to say, but
I think you might think there is something good in it.
Okay?"
"Yes Don." From me.
"In a couple of months you will have done your "O" levels
and will be moving into the sixth form, if you do well
there, as I am sure you will, you will be going on to
University. These are both big changes, they are also
big opportunities which young people in care don't often
grab when they can. You can and you are grabbing and
that's good.
"It has been a long time since either of you have been
any trouble either here or outside here. All this is
really encouraging to us. There are two other boys and
one girl in our care who have also done similarly well.
All five of you should not really be in residential care
any more and yet it would be difficult to place you in
foster care even if you would agree - I see that look
on your face, Martin. Don't worry, please let me
finish."
I hadn't realised my intake of breath or my facial
expression was quite so obvious but Don looked straight
at me as he said that. I was terrified they were going
to split us up.
"Because we are using foster care more for the younger
kids coming into care we are shortly going to be closing
one of our small group homes but we don't want to lose
the building, we think we have a use for it. We are
going to set up what we call, pardon the jargon, a semi-
independent living unit for older young people in care,
the ones who don't really need much supervision but need
somewhere safe and secure to live, with direction and
guidance but not the sort of high staff ratio, or cost,
that a place like this has.
"We want to offer the two of you the chance to move
there, together, after your exams and to live there
whilst you are in the sixth form doing your "A" levels.
"You would probably still have to share a room. You will
have to take more responsibility for chores and
programming your own study times but you will also,
within some limits be able to come and go as you please.
No drugs or alcohol, of course but otherwise as free as
you like. You would have more privacy, you would have a
lock on your room door, you would have more choice of
food and all sorts.
"Any questions so far? Anything off the top of your
head?"
We looked at one another for a moment then Paul said, "I
think it sounds good but it is a big step. Would there
be staff there all the time? And . . erm . . . well,
we're used to the staff here and it would be a big change
to go to new people. Everybody has been very helpful
here, some are more like family."
He turned to look at me and I beamed at him, it was a
good set of questions. Don smiled as well, so did one or
two others. Don spoke again.
"Well things are going to change here as well. For
instance I know that Chris has been helping you a lot
over the last couple of years but, and I don't want you
to tell all the other boys here quite yet, he will be
leaving in a month as he has got another job."
We turned and stared at Chris then looked at one another
- if my face showed half the anguish that Paul's did
then everybody else must have read it as well.
"Sorry," said Don, "I should have put that better. Chris
is going to be in charge of a new unit we are opening, by
pure coincidence it's a semi-independent living unit for
older young people in care! If you go the new unit you
will find Chris there bossing you about as always. Right
Chris?"
"Sure," he said, "I'll soon have them begging to come
back here." Saying that he very obviously winked at us
so everybody could see.
Again we looked at one another, again our expressions
were transparent. Good transparent.
"Look," said Don, "we have dumped a load of information
on you all in one go but we would like to give you this
chance. You deserve the chance and we all hope you'll
take it. You don't have to but I'll be sad if you don't.
I have made a very rash decision and I have agreed that
your social workers and Chris can now take the two of you
out to lunch, on expenses no less, so that you can talk
about it further. Don't think you have to make up your
minds today, you don't, you've got time. Is that okay?"
"Yes, thanks," I said on both our behalf.
We left with Chris and the two social workers, neither of
whom we knew very well and headed out for lunch.
It was a good lunch. We got more information from Chris,
the other two weren't very helpful at all, but they were
encouraging and supportive - as they hardly knew us we
couldn't hope for much more. It certainly sounded
encouraging. We arranged to go with Chris to see the
place the following week.
It was our main subject of conversation that night after
we had had sex - strange but I remember that that night
Paul had fucked me first as gently and as tenderly as he
ever had. We'd done this hundreds of times before and it
was still magical. We lay there cuddled up together in
my bed.
"What do you think?" I asked.
"Hmmmm."
"What do you think?"
"About what?"
"About moving, silly."
He kissed me on the end of my nose.
"I think we go see the place first, but I think it sounds
good."
"I want to stay with Chris."
"You just want to get in his knickers."
"No, that's Mikey."
"You too."
"Well, a bit - but I still want to stay with him -
just think if Ray gets promoted here he'll be
unbearable!"
"Shit yeah, I hadn't thought of that."
"If we think it's got even half a chance of working out I
think we should go."
"Go and see first." Paul had his mind set on that one!
"Okay, we'll go and see first. Now will you please fuck
me?"
"Do I have to?"
"Yes, you fucking have to, but you can give me a kiss
first."
And he did. Both.
- - - - -
The next week Chris took us to the new place, except it
was an old place. A big Edwardian semi-detached with big
rooms. It was in a soundly middle class area, it was
nice. It was still being used as a group home though it
was running down and had just three kids left, twin
brothers [6] and their sister [4], waiting for a foster
placement.
Chris showed us round and told us which room would be
used for what. Downstairs there was a lounge, dining
room, quiet room and kitchen. Beyond the kitchen there
was a utility room with washer and drier. There was also
a small room used as an office. Upstairs on the next
floor there were two bathrooms and four bedrooms, two of
them large and two smaller, these would be the rooms for
the young people. On the top floor in the attics was a
small flat of two bed-sitting rooms and a bathroom, this
would be used for staff sleeping over.
It all looked very good. Chris said that we could have
either of the large rooms as our room, or we could try
for the two small ones as singles. When he suggested
this I just stared at him.
"Well, I thought it polite to offer."
"Thanks Chris, but no thanks."
I fell in love with the front bedroom, it wasn't as large
as the other big one but it had a bay window which gave
it a nice shape. There was plenty of room for two beds
and two desks as well as wardrobes and dressers. It was
perfect. I would have said okay there and then but Paul
and I had agreed to discuss it privately before saying
anything.
Chris told us that the whole place was going to be
redecorated and we would get a choice of colour,
providing it wasn't too outrageous.
When we got back to the home we took ourselves off to
have a shower and talk about it. It was an instant
decision. We would go. Paul had liked the front room as
well so there was no argument there. We toyed with
asking for pink or lilac as the colour scheme just to see
Chris's reaction but then Paul pointed out that he might
agree and just do it so we settled for pale blue instead.
As we were slowly soaping one another in the shower we
heard the door open and a voice we recognized call "Hi
guys."
"Hi Mikey."
"Can I join you?"
"Okay - where's Joey?"
A naked Mikey joined us in the shower - he was growing
up, he had a few hairs round his dick, they were a bit
darker than the white blond on his head. His dick was
hard. As usual!
"Watching TV, I just came to ask where you'd been."
"No you didn't, you came for sex."
"Well, that as well. It's ages since I did it with you
guys"
As he talked he was stroking both our dicks. He took the
soap and started soaping up Paul's dick and then he
rubbed the soap up and down his crack as well.
"Watch out, Paul," I said, "it looks like you've been
chosen?"
"We'll have to be quick" said Mikey, "c'mon, do it."
Paul bent his legs slightly and came up behind the other
boy and slipped slowly up inside him. Mikey immediately
started moaning and stood up with his boner sticking
right out in front of him. I quickly got on my knees, it
was pretty cramped but I managed it, and took the now no
longer so little cock in my mouth and started sucking on
it. At the same time I used one hand to play with
Mikey's balls and the other to slip a finger up Paul's
arse. As I touched Paul's prostate I could feel him
begin to tighten up so I sucked harder on Mikey.
Suddenly Mikey was going "Oh wow! Oh shit! Oh wow!" and I
tasted him ejaculating into my mouth. As Mikey orgasmed
so did Paul - they sort of supported each other as I
enjoyed my first taste of Mikey spunk.
I stood up and kissed him and then Paul - I let them
both share the taste in my mouth.
"Mikey you came! You came in my mouth!"
"Shit that was amazing! I've waited ages for that. Did
I really come? God that is so amazing. God . . . oh god,
I must go tell Joey. See you later guys."
And he was gone. He was still wet but he was gone. His
questions all forgotten in his new discovery.
By the time we had got dried and dressed and gone
downstairs Joey and Mikey had gone to bed, obviously
eager to try and do it again.
We found Chris and told him we would go for it. He
hugged us both and said how pleased he was - then he
asked why we weren't studying! Cheeky sod!
The exams were a trial at the time but we knew we should
be okay. None of them asked us anything that completely
stumped either of us. In the second maths paper I
panicked a bit then remembered Chris's advice about
reading through all the questions first then choosing one
I could answer to get my confidence going before moving
on. By the end I was okay.
My last exam was on a Wednesday, Paul's was on the Friday
of the same week. Friday night we didn't attempt to make
love, we just cuddled as we lay together. We knew that a
new boy was coming on Monday so our last few nights would
be different. Since Mikey had moved in with Joey we had
had the room to ourselves, just like old times. The next
morning we slept in a bit. We missed breakfast but we
needed the rest.
Chapter 9
The move to the new place happened a week or so later.
The room was a gorgeous shade of sky blue with dark blue
woodwork and we had all new furniture and new carpet and
everything. We felt very special. It was good to be
back with Chris, he had still visited in the last month
since he left just to encourage us through the exams, but
it was nice to think we had him all to ourselves.
We were the first to move in, the other two boys, Jimmy
and Richie, moved in a few days later and then in August
Rachel joined us all. Although we shared a house with
those other three for two years we never became close.
That first summer we spent relaxing, we had worked hard
for our exams, all of us. A few times we all went
swimming together but we didn't mix much. Jimmy and
Richie were straight so they were off chasing girls a
lot. They tried it on with Rachel but she definitely
wasn't straight and did NOT appreciate their advances.
She was off chasing girls as well.
In late August we got our results, we had both done
excellently - I had my usual string of As with Bs in
the sciences, Paul had all As except for a B in
Economics. He was mortally offended by this but accepted
it, he wasn't going to be doing Economics ever again. He
also said that he wouldn't have got a pass without my
help.
We missed the old home but soon began our new regime of
study. We started before term began, there is no law
against being prepared. We were on our own now, Paul was
doing double maths and physics at "A" level whilst I was
sticking with my old faithfuls of geography, history and
economics. We couldn't help one another much any more.
I occasionally looked in one of Paul's maths textbooks
and I never had the slightest clue what they were talking
about whilst he and Chris would have animated discussions
about it You would think maths was porno from the way
they got so animated!
The freedom in the new place was good in theory. We had
keys to our room and the front door and could pretty much
come and go as we pleased. We had free access to the
kitchen to make snacks and drinks. We also had a bigger
workload than ever - we were really busy. Oh, we still
had time for some fun but only really at weekends. We
studied at least three hours a night, often four and more
at weekends.
We still found time for sex, it remained an abiding
interest. Now that we could lock our bedroom door we
felt a lot more secure. We also felt able to go out and
buy proper lubricant instead of using soap and spit all
the time.
On the day we moved in we pushed the two beds together
and left them like that. Everybody knew we were doing it
so we didn't bother hiding it, even if it was still
illegal for us. The best thing was to be able to sleep
in one another's arms all night, every night.
Well, not quite every night. There were times when we
argued and even stopped speaking to one another for a day
- I don't think it ever went beyond a day. Chris was
great and helped us a lot, he listened to all our
frustrations and woes. He never once gave advice, he
always just helped us to work out our own solution.
The best thing about the new arrangement, the very best
thing was being able to be more sensual about our love
making now we were in private. Never before, in the
three years we had been together, had we been able to
undress one another slowly and sensually. Oh we had
wanked and sucked and fucked but I had never slowly
undone Paul's shirt and then unzipped his trousers -
virtually all our previous sex had been in the dark with
the lights off sometime after lights out - either that
or in the shower when anyone could walk in any time. Now
we had the freedom to try new stuff and not have to be so
furtive about it.
Our first night there we went up to our room straight
after dinner and locked the door. Switching on the desk
light on my desk and pointing it right down so that it
only gave a low sort of light we got in a clinch in the
middle of the room. We kissed. We were still fully
clothed. I was hard as a rock. To hold him and feel him
through his clothes was wonderful. I know most couples
can't wait to get undressed and get down to it naked.
Well, for us it was different, we had done all that, we
wanted some mystery and some romance.
I stroked down his back and down his buns. I brought a
hand round to the front of his jeans and cupped his hard
genitals and rubbed them as he did the same to me.
I broke the kiss and slid down to my knees and gently bit
at his dick through the denim. He had his hands on my
head urging me on. For a while I used my hands to
massage his delightful buns then I brought them round and
slowly undid the popper on the jeans and then the zip. I
pulled the elastic of his briefs down to reveal the
object of my desire and took it in my mouth. As I sucked
on him I moved my hands up and slowly, by feel alone,
undid the buttons of his shirt so I could caress and
tease his nipples as I sucked on his cock. I did
everything slowly, we had all night, we weren't going to
be disturbed.
Gradually I upped the pace of my sucking and my tit-
teasing and with him clinging on to my head for support I
brought him off in my mouth. Paul has always had a
unique taste for me, the most delicious cum in all the
world.
After that he dragged me over to the bed[s] and we lay
there, still clothed, and continued our exploration of
one another's bodies. First he teased my tits with his
teeth through my shirt - I probably have the most
sensitive nipples in the entire universe so this was
bound to have an effect on me. It did. I was already
rock hard from sucking him off, now I was even harder.
Painfully, blue balls hard.
Slowly he undid my shirt and pulled it back so that he
could lick my armpits whilst keeping up the pressure on
my nipples with his fingers. He would lave the left
armpit with his tongue, then the left nipple, then the
right nipple, then the right armpit and then he would
slowly work his way back across to the left again. All
the time either his tongue or his lips kept contact with
my flesh. Once or twice he tongued down to my belly
button and swirled his tongue around in there but for a
good twenty minutes he refused to touch me below the
waistline of my jeans.
I was getting frantic.
Every time I moved my hands towards my dick he slapped
them gently away and carried on with his teasing and
tickling and treating. Eventually he started licking
along my tummy just along the line of the jeans'
waistband. His fingers undid my belt and the button then
slowly lowered the zip. As more flesh was revealed he
licked that as well. He pulled the fly apart and pulled
down the elastic of my briefs revealing my dripping cock
and took it in his mouth.
He was just in time. I had tried to hold back but I was
damn near creaming my undies for the last five minutes,
the warmth of his mouth was just too much and I let go.
As always he drank every drop, he always loved cum just
as much as I did.
We lay there kissing and caressing for another half hour
or so, we still had our clothes on, then we decided to go
have a shower. In the bathrooms there the showers were
over the tub rather than in a separate stall so there was
more room. We stripped off grabbed our towels and
streaked down the hallway and locked ourselves in the
bathroom. We quickly dropped the towels on a chair and
got in the tub. We got the water running warm through
the taps and turned it on to the shower. We embraced as
we had done so many times before.
We spent ages in there soaping one another. We washed
one another's bodies from head to toe; and as we washed
we left a trail of kisses and love nips with our lips and
teeth.
We had bought ourselves some massage oil and some KY but
they were in the bedroom so we fell back on the old
standby of soapy water to lube one another up - I bet
almost every boy in the world who has access to soap has
tried a soapy wank at one time or a thousand. We wanked
one another and fingered one another as we snogged again.
We climaxed, panting, like that with fingers stroking
prostates and hands wanking cocks
It was awesome.
We sluiced the cum away under the shower then put the
plug in the bath and turned the flow back to the taps.
We sat in the bath with me behind Paul and his back
cuddled into my chest as the water crept up our bodies.
With my longer arms I managed to grab the bottle of foam
bath and add some. I kissed the back of the beautiful
neck in front of me and he held my arms and kissed my
hands. Occasionally he would turn and we would share a
deeper kiss but it was too uncomfortable to stay like
that for long.
When the water was high enough we turned off the taps and
just settled in to cuddle. It was glorious. There was
no-one else in the building except Chris and he was
working in the office. The other boys wouldn't move in
for a few more days.
Not surprisingly we fell asleep.
We were woken by a tapping on the door and Chris asking
if we were okay. I don't know how long we had been there
but the water was stone cold.
"Sorry Chris, Paul fell asleep and I couldn't bear to
wake him. - OUCH - hey he just hit me!"
"C'mon you guys, I am going to make some hot chocolate,
do you want some?"
"Sure," said Paul, "we'll be down in five minutes."
We dried and went and got shorts and a t-shirt each and
went down to the kitchen. Chris was just pouring out the
chocolate into three mugs and on the worktop sat a plate
with a huge chocolate and fresh cream sponge!
"Welcome home, guys," said Chris. "It's good to have you
here."
He came over and gave us each a hug.
"I don't suppose you two are hungry, are you? Oh well,
I'll have to eat it all myself."
"It's okay," said Paul, "we'll help you out. At your age
you've got to be careful of your heart!"
"Cheeky young sod! I'm only ten years older than you! I
will eat it all now!"
"I didn't say anything." I said. "Paul can't have any
for being cheeky but I can!"
At that point Paul dug me sharply in the ribs, "Whose
side are you on?"
Chris saved me the bother of a reply, "Same as always,
his stomach's!"
I stuck my tongue out at him, so he did the same back.
He put the mugs on a tray with the cake and some small
plates and took it all through to the lounge - this was
the moment when Paul and I laid claim to the sofa. Chris
put the tray down on the coffee table and cut three large
slices of cake and handed them over.
"Forks or fingers?"
"Fingers!" we said in unison.
"How is it going up there? Are you getting settled in?"
Paul and I looked at one another and smiled then Paul
answered.
"Chris, it's great, it is so much nicer than the old
place, you have no idea."
"Oh, I think I do, it's not that long since I was
sixteen, I can still remember how difficult it is to get
privacy."
We sat quietly for a few minutes sipping the chocolate
and nibbling on the cake. Then Chris reached down by the
side of the chair and picked up a small parcel.
"I was in town yesterday doing some shopping and I saw
this and just knew I had to give it to you. Call it a
little welcome gift, I hope you like it." He handed it
over to us.
It was obviously a large format book. We pulled off the
wrappings to find we were the proud possessors of "An
Illustrated Guide to Sensuous Massage"!!
"I hope you find it useful. I saw you had got some
massage oil so I thought . . ."
"Chris, it's wonderful, thanks." That was me.
We got up and hugged him and kissed him on the cheek. We
chatted for a while longer then we excused ourselves
saying we were tired and were thinking of an early night.
"Go on, upstairs with you - and remember I may not be
sleeping next door to you any more but I am sleeping in
the room above!"
"Okay, we'll only be snoring, honest."
"If you think I'll believe that you must be daft - go
on, goodnight, I'll clear up down here."
We hugged him again and he kissed us each on the forehead
as we took off upstairs with the book.
Let me just say that we had a very late night that night.
When we had got oil all over the place Paul tried putting
it in places where the sun don't shine - and I aided
and abetted him all the way. At about 2 a.m. as he
shuddered into a climax inside me I erupted on to my
chest. It had taken four hours to get to that orgasm and
was possibly the most pleasure we had ever had in one
night.
Chapter 10
Paul's school was now closer, I had to ride two separate
buses in each direction. Paul would get home first and
he would put the kettle on to boil whilst he went up and
changed - he even did this on the days when we weren't
speaking! When he got downstairs he would make a pot of
tea and get out some biscuits on to a plate. By the time
I got home the tea would be ready so I would give him a
quick kiss and then go and change myself. By the time I
came down he would have poured two cups and taken them
into the lounge, along with the biscuits, and we would
then cuddle up on the sofa and watch television for a
bit. Jimmy, Richie and Rachel were very understanding,
if we were in the room they used the chairs so as to give
us the sofa. We were the couple so they gave us that
little privilege.
We would stay cuddled up until after Paul had seen his
soap opera and then we would go upstairs and work for an
hour or so before we had our meal. The five of us and
whichever member of staff was about usually sat down
together about 7 p.m. After we had eaten and everything
was cleared away it was back to the books until time for
showers and then bed.
As I said, at weekends we swam or went to a movie or went
bowling. Once a month or so we would meet up with Mikey
and Joey and go to a movie together or something like
that. They were becoming very much a couple.
Whenever Mikey was having problems he would talk them out
with us or he would come and see Chris and talk to him
about it all.
Paul and I still tried flirting with Chris but he still
wouldn't be drawn. Mikey flirted with him a well
whenever he visited - he flirted outrageously as only
Mikey could.
It was a good life for those two years, at the time it
was the best either of us had ever had. The scars of the
past healed over for both of us. Never completely but
things got easier. Our reviews went well and we were
well-established. Our school reports continued to be
things we could be proud of.
My dad, of course, continued to refuse to have any
contact with me which saved me the effort of refusing to
have contact with him. I met my mother once in the
shopping centre just before my 18th birthday. All she
said was, "Hello Martin, it's nice to see you . . . I've
got to go." Perhaps my dad was nearby.
I didn't get a birthday card.
I had got used to no contact by then but these sightings,
like when I occasionally bumped into my sister, always
disturbed me for a while. Paul was my mother and father
and sister and brother and lover and friend now, he was
all the family I needed. Well, him and Chris.
In the first term of our second year there we had to make
our university applications. We only applied to places
that had good schools in the subjects we both wanted and
then hoped to get reasonable offers. We were lucky
because we did. We also did well in our "A" levels, both
managing straight As, the first time I had matched Paul.
We were both 18 now and ready to leave care. We had been
lovers for 5 years.
- - - - -
The seatbelt light has just come on. Good timing. We
are letting down fast now. A few more minutes and I
shall be home.
Finale
At home, in the study.
They met me at the airport. Not all of them, of course,
just my partner and the two delightful young men who have
so changed our lives. The first two, the start of the
family. Thomas and Joseph.
He, the most important one, looked the same as he did ten
days ago when they saw me off on the flight to Singapore,
he hasn't changed much since that first day I met him in
the children's home. Still red haired, still slim, still
beautiful. In this culture men show affection openly all
the time, not that we would have cared. We have been
together a quarter of a century and we are used to
hugging and kissing one another, we are not going to stop
now.
It is so good to be home.
I need to get on, lots of work has piled up whilst I have
been away but first I need to finish this. Paul and the
others are supervising dinner and then the four of us
will have ours - I just need to finish this first, then
I can have peace.
Where was I? "A" levels and leaving care.
After we left care we went to university together in
Leeds, the social services people were very good and
helped us all they could. In those days, of course,
there was a lot more financial assistance for students
than there is now. Paul did Electrical Engineering and I
did Geography. We shared a room, as students often do,
so it raised no eyebrows and this was in the late 70s and
early 80s when the atmosphere in Britain was a lot freer
than it is now. Sharing there wasn't much different from
the last two years except we hadn't got Chris as
immediate support. We still phoned him once a week or
so, he was the closest either of us had to a stable
adult/parent figure.
A few days after we moved out of Chris's place Mikey and
Joey moved into "our" room! When it came time to
redecorate they went for strong colours, they didn't like
our "wishy-washy" blue. They chose ochre and brown. We
saw it, it worked well. The two youngsters had done
splendidly in their exams and then, as a bolt out of the
blue, Mikey was told that after his parents death a trust
fund had been established for him and that when he got to
eighteen he would come into a fair amount of money. He
wasn't told how much then but later he became a well off
young man.
They did exceptionally well in their "A" levels too but
then headed in different directions, Joey went north to
Edinburgh to do medicine whilst Mikey had managed to get
himself a place at Oxford reading psychology and
philosophy. At the same time he shagged anything that
moved, as long as it had a dick. Joey got himself a
girlfriend at Edinburgh and last I heard, about ten years
ago via a fluke meeting with another ex-Edinburgh medico
passing through here, he was an anaesthetist at a
hospital in York. He was married with three kids.
I am sad that we lost touch with both Mikey and Joey over
the years. And with Chris.
We had last heard of Mikey eleven years ago. There was
an article in The Pink Paper about the research he was
doing into psychological changes in people living with
HIV & AIDS, he had become a bit of a specialist in AIDS
related dementia. We didn't know then, I would learn
just a few days ago, that he was already positive himself
by that time.
Also by then, as again I learned a few days ago, Chris
had moved into sexual health work so it is not surprising
that a year later they bumped into one another at a
conference where Mikey was delivering one of the keynote
papers. They met at the coffee break on the second day
of the conference, they had lunch together then Mikey
cancelled his arrangements for the evening and they went
out for dinner together. After dinner they went back to
Chris's hotel room. Mikey stayed the night.
Within a month they were living together. As Mikey said
to Chris at the time, "As long as I have a computer and a
fax machine I can work anywhere in the world." He also
said that he had waited 15 years to get Chris in bed and
he wasn't about to lose him.
He was immediately up-front with Chris about his positive
status and he also, very surprisingly for Mikey, became a
home bird and gave up sleeping around. Chris turned into
the love of his life. The feeling was mutual.
They had 7 years together before the virus and the
pneumonia won out. Mikey didn't get dementia, mentally
he was as bright as a button right up to the end. Chris
said that Mikey just got very tired; when the end came he
welcomed it, he had had enough.
After our degrees Paul worked for a big heavy plant
company for a while whilst I got into development issues
working for various agencies in Britain. I also took a
part time MA in Development Studies. We had promised to
stay together and we were able to, it meant some
compromises with job moves but somehow the right
opportunities came up. Twelve years ago we saw two one
year contract jobs advertised out here - one was for a
development officer and the other for an engineer - it
seemed to be custom made for us. The money wasn't very
good but we were both fed up at the same time in the jobs
we had then so we decided to go for it. We did a joint
application making it clear to the agency that we were a
couple and that we would only consider the posts if we
were both appointed. We also did the groundwork about
their equal opportunities policy so we knew where we
stood if it came to a fight.
It was a tough selection process over three days but we
passed, we got offered the jobs. We were shattered,
exhausted, elated and suddenly terrified at the prospect!
We rented out the house on licence for twelve months
convinced that we would be glad to get back but also keen
for the experience.
It was all a bit overwhelming at first, it wasn't just
the tropical climate, a bit of a change from North East
England where we had lived the last five years! There
was also so much to do and so many people to be nice to
and whole new ways of working to adapt to. I have heard
the same story about both Ireland and India - it goes
something like this - you are in either of those
countries and you are trying to hurry through some
business and you are trying to impress on someone the
urgency of the situation and they turn round and say "The
Spanish have a saying `maana' - well in Ireland/India,
nothing is that urgent!"
The same goes for here. In Spades!
That first year we got so frustrated by it but when our
contracts were up for renewal and we were both offered a
two year extension it took us about two minutes to agree
that we both wanted to stay.
We went back to Britain on furlough and put the house on
the market. It was a good time to sell, one of the
property boom years at the start of the 90s. We banked
the money and came back - well, we came back and then
when the interminable legal process was all over our
lawyer banked the money for us.
In the first year we had been in development agency
accommodation but it wasn't good long term so we rented a
house on the edge of town. It was what we had always
wanted, a small house in big grounds. In fact it was
more like a compound of about half a hectare with three
buildings, one was our house and the others we weren't
sure what to do with. For a while we were happy with
that and managed to look after ourselves despite the long
hours and trips to outstations.
One day six months into our second year Paul was away on
a trip supervising the construction of a small scale
hydel project upcountry when two small boys came into the
compound and up to the door asking if we had work they
could do. I am not a doctor but I can recognize
malnourishment when I see it, I was really distressed by
the state they were in - our agency wasn't involved in
the social care and humanitarian side of things, the
government was in charge of that. They were obviously,
patently falling down on the job. I had just cooked my
lunch so I quickly added some more rice and made another
bean dish and got out a loaf of bread and sat them down
to eat. They were very hungry but also adamant that they
wanted to do jobs to earn their food. They were proud
young men.
"First you eat, then I find you jobs."
First they ate. They ate it all, mine as well.
I asked where they had come from - they named their
village, I knew the name. It was about 80 kms upcountry.
"How did you get here?"
"We walked."
"What are your names?"
"I am Thomas, he is Joseph."
"How old are you?"
"I am ten, he is eight."
"Where are your parents?"
"Mother dead, father bad man, drunk all the time, beat us
all the time."
"Where are you going?"
"Here. City is good. We need work then we are okay, buy
food."
"Where will you sleep?"
"Sleep at roadside, nobody rob us, we have nothing."
Two abused little boys who reminded me of two other
abused little boys a decade and a half earlier in Britain
- not just two, many. What about Peter who wasn't a
survivor like Paul and I? I knew I couldn't turn them
away. I made a snap decision, one that I have never
regretted.
"You have work for us?" asked Thomas, the older one.
"Yes, I have work, come with me."
I armed them with brushes and buckets and marched them
over to the better of the two other buildings. I
unlocked the door and led us all inside.
"Today you clean this room, okay?"
"Okay, not take long."
I doubted that as it was filthy and a bit dilapidated.
"You clean and then come to me and I will come and look.
There is a well out behind my house where you can get
water for washing the floor. Okay?"
"Okay."
"If you clean well then tonight you can sleep here as
well. Would that be good?"
I was answered with beaming smiles.
I went back to work in the house and thought about it. I
didn't do much work - I had a project report for head
office to do and get off to them by the end of the week
but I was more concerned about the two little ones
currently earning their lunch and supper.
About two hours later I heard shrieks from out the back.
I rushed out there and found two naked little boys
happily pouring buckets of water over one another and
shrieking with laughter. It was a lovely sight.
The room they had cleaned was not up to accommodating
them or anybody that night so I made up the bed in one of
the guest rooms for them. They had never slept in a bed
before.
Today those two young men, now 18 and 20, virtually run
our street children project. Next academic year Thomas
will go off to train as a teacher, afterwards he wants to
come back here and work with us again. When Thomas
leaves Joseph will have the guest room to himself, they
have been living there the whole time. They never did
get to sleep in the dormitories, but that is a whole
other story!
I can't go into all the details of the fights we have had
to get recognition, the problems with funding, our
leaving the agency after the second contract but staying
on and freelancing here for other more local development
agencies. That doesn't matter, it is irrelevant. What
matters is that two abused kids from Britain have made
life a little bit better for lots of abused and abandoned
kids here. We are not blowing our own trumpet, we know
only too well that we are not doing enough, but we are
doing something. At least the surface is being
scratched. There are now nine buildings in our compound
and the five dormitories each officially house ten boys,
but more often hold fifteen. They get food, they get
shelter, they get education, they get a chance to make
good. They get protection from abuse and neglect.
They get love.
Paul and I intend to spend the rest of our lives here
running the project we have named after his brother. We
will still go back to Britain occasionally. I want to
keep in touch with my mother and my sister now that I
feel free to call them that. I know, having seen them
again at last, that Paul will be welcomed into the
renewed family circle. When we go we will also want to
see Chris, now that we are in touch again.
Tonight in bed I will tell Paul about Chris - and I
must tell him that Mikey is dead. I will tell him their
story just as Chris told it to me. He will be pleased
that the two of them did get together, Mikey always said
they would. He usually got what he wanted.
I think I'll ask Chris to e-mail some of the photos he
showed me, it will be good to have that memory of the two
of them. Or better still, ask him to bring copies when
he comes to visit. I hope, we both hope, he will come
out and see us. It is a long time since he heard us
making love in the room next to his back in the home -
perhaps we will put him in the next room when he visits
just for old time's sake. He might even get in with us.
Who knows, my dream of all those years ago might come
true in the end. Mikey's did, why not mine?
As for my adoptive father, he is dead and my animosity
has died too, burnt up and crushed underfoot and thrown
in the skip with the ashes. The end was fitting, he was
not a lovable man. I must let him go.
Now I have all this love around me I haven't got the
energy to keep fighting him and hating him.
I think I even wish him peace.
- - - THE END - - -
Comments and constructive criticism are welcome at
mr_malaprop@graffiti.net
The entire story is copyrighted c to Mr Malaprop 2003