Date: Tue, 30 Sep 2008 23:10:00 -0400
From: randyallen69@aim.com
Subject: MILF (are you sure what I mean???:-)

    Mothers I'd Like to Fuck is great and I have done a few, but MILF has
another meaning, Men I'd Like to Fuck!
    Is there an older man you would like to fuck? Me being a (legal age)
teen male, let me tell you a old guy is great! Don't get me wrong, fucking
a pussy is great, but sometimes you want something else - and you know you
do!!
     Before reading any more make sure that you are old enough in your
state/province/country to fuck an old fart. It is just not right these
underage age guys who jizz in an older person of either sex and then goes
ruins their lives by saying they were raped! That is not right!!
    On the internet you can easily find the age of consent for your area
and make sure you are old enough!!! (if you don't know how google 'age of
consent')
    There are many reasons to get it on with an old man. How many times
does your girlfriend make you think she will let you fuck her, or that
she will give you a blow job or even a hand job but then she doesn't feel
like it? Most guys don't play those girly games. Also, you might think
you know all there is to know about sex, but you don't! All that I have
learned from my 'funny uncle' has made me, with the shortest dick in my
grade, one of the guys most of the girls in school wanted to fuck them!!
True!! All because of what I learned from my Funny Uncle! Also, there are
things you want to try that you can only do with another guy - Yes You
Do! But if you try them with one of your buddies, then he will not be
your buddy afterwards and then your buddy will tell your other buddies
and you will be know as the fag who will blow all  of the other guys in
gym! The old guy will just appreciate your attention with no wo rries of
him telling anyone. As the saying goes - give an old guy a hand
job because someday you will be that old guy wanting a nice young stud to
give you a hand job.
    I have below list of many things to try. Pick what works for you. The
numbers have no meaning, just something to refer to. Tell me what one
worked for you.
    Now, remember the following: even though you are (just) old enough to
have sex with any adult you want your parents are still very interested
in you and your sex life. They know more about your sex life than you
think they do so you have to be careful that they do not find out what
you are doing.  Even though you are old enough they still might make big
trouble for your funny uncle. The same is true if the funny uncle has a
wife or kids - be careful! If the funny uncle still lives with his mom -
run away very fast and find someone else!!
  The list is anything but complete - just something I put together off
the top of my heads!

 Here you go!! Have fun!

1. Talk to him
2. Ask if there are any odd jobs you can do for him. Mow the lawn, yard
work, cleaning, taking out the trash, and so on
3. Tell him you will do anything, even the nasty stuff. Pause between
saying nasty and stuff. If you need to explain say, pick up the dog shit,
clean the toilet and so on.
4. Once you are doing work for him do some of the jobs for no money. You
don't want him to think you are a prostitute! :-) and that maybe you guys
might actually become friends. Try to find things you both like to do.
5. Lift up your shirt as you scratch/rub your stomach so that her can see
you tender skin.
6. Put your finger in your belly button
7. As time goes on lift your shirt far enough to show your nipples
8. Pinch and squeeze your tits so that he can see
9. Touch him and get him to touch you by:
10. Bump into him sideways a little from time to time
11. Ask him to feel your face to see if you need to shave or not. Then
feel his face
12. Ask him to feel the hair on your arms and legs and so other places.
Show him your scars and ask him to rub them. All the same with him
13. Ask for a neck rub. Give him one
14. Ask him to scratch your back, of course under your shirt, and as time
goes on further and further down your back
15. Grab and scratch your balls. At 1st no more than what guys are always
doing. But do it more and more.
16. Squeeze your dick. Again no more than normal to start with and then
more and more
17. As time goes on do 15 and 16 inside your shorts
18. Scratch you ass cheeks
19. Scratch your asshole
20. As time goes on do 18 and 19 inside of your shorts
21. (We started doing 21 in 3rd and 4th grade and we did it a lot) after
scratching your asshole inside your shorts sniff your finger, and then
stick that finger under his nose and ask him if it stinks. Do this from
time to time and then one time make sure you dig your asshole good and
get your finger nice and stinky and after you sniff it and put it under
his nose to sniff and ask him if it stinks, then rub your finger on his
nose and upper lip! This way he will keep on smelling you for awhile
after -  Fun!!
22. (Start doing this one before 21) Ask him to sniff your arm pits and
ask him if your deodorant smells good. Do this several times with
different deodorants. Ask him what one he likes the smell of best
23. One time find a shirt with stinky arm pits, do not wear any
deodorant, make sure your pits stink good and then ask him to sniff.
24 Get an old pair of your tighty whites. They really needs to be white
briefs, not colored or boxers. (If you do not have any, a white sock
would work, but not so good) The more stained the better. Make sure they
have your name or initials on the tag. He has to know that they are your
briefs and not your douche bag brother's.  Now, wear them as many
days as you can. Jizz in them as many times as you can. You have to be
careful to not have much shit in the back as more than just a little shit
will overpower the smell of your boy balls and boy jizz. (Now, if your
mommy counts how many of your undies she washes this is what you do: just
before you take a dump put on another pair of undies and makes sure you
get a good shit stripe in the back end and put that pair in the wash and
then put the brief your have been working on back on)
   Ok - now that you have lot of dried jizz in these briefs and they
smell really ripe, jizz in them one last time and while the jizz is still
wet take them over to the funny uncles house when he is not there. Make
sure to put then in a bag so no one know what you are carrying - a zip
lock bag would also be good too to keep the stink in! Now put them
somewhere that only he will find it. If he lives alone put them inside
the door he uses. If he doesn't live alone then in a work bench you know
only he uses or such.
    Don't say anything to him about them when you go over to his house to
work. If he ask just mumble and say he can keep them.
25. Do 25 a second time
26. Is much like 24, but with something special like a jock strap. Then
after he has it for a few days tell him that you need the jock strap back
for gym or football or such. (girls panties would be a nice weird thing
too! Tell him your girl friend is asking where her pink panties are and
you need them back! You can tell him your girlfriend made you wear
them. Even your sister's panties would work, but NOT your mommies!! ;-)
27. Fart as often and as loudly as you can
28. When working outside with him pull your dick out and take a piss as
if it were normal, but make sure there is a place no one can see you 2
29. Ask him to use his toilet
30. Always leave the bathroom door wide open
31. Never flush
32. Piss in the toilet water so that it makes as much noise as possible.
Always drop both you pant and briefs all the way to the floor like the
tards do when you piss.
33. When you take a dump in his toilet, get your dick hard and pointing
up in the air. Ask your funny uncle where the toilet paper is, even if it
right in front of your nose. If he tells you where it is without coming
into the bathroom tell him you can't find it and ask him to come in to
find it for you. Make sure he sees your stiffy. Maybe not the 1st time,
but at least the 2nd time as you wipe your asshole if he to leaves the
bathroom just say, wait don't leave. (again, remember to not flush) Each
and every time you take a dump ask him to get you the toilet paper
34. After you have done 33 a few times stand up and bend over and ask him
to look to see if you wiped all of the shit or not. Say that your
asshole has been itchy and you find dried shit there sometimes. From that
point on ask him to check every time.
35. Not the 1st time  you do 34 but the 3rd or 4th when he is down
looking at your asshole turn around so that your dick is in his face
36. After a while ask him to wipe your asshole for you.
37. Talk about sex. Yes you are old enough to know most of this and he
probably knows that to, but act like you don't know. If he ask if you
already know these things tell him the truth, but that you want to see if
you are right or not.
38. Ask him if it is bad to jackoff
39. Tell him that you jackoff and ask if he does. ask him what to do with
the jizz
40. Ask him how do 2 girls have sex together as there is no cock
41. Ask him how 2 guys can have sex together as there is no pussy
42. And more about sex
43. Ask him how to kiss
44. Tell him that you don't understand his explanations of kissing
45. Ask him to show you how. (Yes - kissing old people can be funky. But
hey, I have kissed a girl younger than me with the worse breath I have
ever smelled or tasted - but she was one of the best fucks I ever had.
So, either you will come to love the taste of your funny uncle's kisses,
or it will be good practice!)
46. Make sure that you work on tongue kissing after awhile!
47. After awhile ask him if you need to knock every time you come inside
his house. (With the idea being that at some point you walk in on him
jacking!)
48. Ask him how to get a bra off of a girl, that you have a hard time
with it, or that you never have done it and it scares you.
50. (Some new ones that would fit better somewhere above - but remember -
no order here, try them all!)
51. Ask him to rub your sore muscles. Ask him if there is anywhere he
wants you to rub
52. Pick your nose (There is something about a long body part going into
a hole ;-)
53. What all more is there? If you have more good ideas send them to me!
me!