Date: Wed, 30 Jan 2002 14:05:48 -0800
From: Rick Beck <bjwalkerjr@37.com>
Subject: Billie Joes Journal Chapter 4

Chapter 4
The Whole World Loves A Nut

	From beyond the window, bright rays tumbled through the blinds,
making the air inside the room glow.  I leaned my face on his side so I
could see where my hand was in front of him.  Even asleep, he stood
straight out with that slight bend that had the head turning at an upward
angle. There was a light purple vein that ran from behind the head all the
way down into his hair. I moved my hand to see the entire shaft.  I slid it
up and down to feel the texture that thrilled me.  The head still seemed
like it might pop, the way it was so full.

	The shaft was white, tending toward a tan color but not at all
dark, except for the head.  The vein was darker, a faint blue or purple. I
used my finger to trace its jagged course along the smooth shaft. On his
stomach, above the shaft and bush, was a very faint trace of blond hair
that stopped at his belly button.  There was no other hair on his stomach
or chest.  His skin was so light it seemed like he must never take off his
shirt outside.  His arms and face were deeply tanned.

	Stroking him, I squeezed to make the head darken and puff up even
more.  I slid my hand very slowly down to just below the subtle brown ring
that encircled the shaft, and then the rest of the way into his hair.  I
still pressed against him from behind, but I tried not to wake him.  I
thrust motionless into that special area, and just enjoyed the pleasure his
crevice gave me. I knew my cock was right on that spot, but I wasn't trying
to get inside, just feel the joy it gave off as I stayed pressed hard
against him. The image of that morning flashed through my brain as I
relived the sensation of being just inside his body. It was something I
knew I needed to do, but not just then, let him rest for now.

	It seemed like the perfect place to rest up for me.  I slipped my
other arm up under his back and ended up with my hand on his chest.  I
immediately went for one of the nipples that felt so exciting.  My finger
and thumb squeezed it to make it poke out even further.  He didn't move or
stop breathing like he was in a deep restful sleep.  I let my face rest on
his back and just had to lick his skin and put my lips against it.  After
awhile, my heart slowed again, and I drifted back to sleep with my love in
my arms.

	The dark startled me.  The empty bed scared me.  My foreboding had
come true. He had left me. It shocked my eyes wide open as panic took
hold. I could see a slight light between the slats of the blinds.  I sat up
and my heart pounded wildly.  I don't know why I was so scared, but it was
sheer terror.

	For an instant I believed Carl was gone.  He'd taken his bag and
left me alone.  It was when my heart stopped pounding in my ear that I
heard the shower.  I jumped from the bed and pushed open the door, needing
to look at him.  I pulled back the curtain and there he stood, leaning one
big arm against the tile while letting the water wash over his head that
tilted between his shoulders.  He jerked when he heard the shower curtain
ripped open.  His face showed surprise as he looked at my face.

	"What's wrong? Are you okay?"

	"I thought you left me."

	I started to shake and I guess some tears came to my eyes because
he got all excited. The one thing I knew for sure is that he was going to
leave me. Is this what I had to look forward to? The thought of being alone
tormented me.

	"I'm sorry.  I didn't mean to scare you.  I'm here.  Come on.
Let's shower together.  It's okay.  It's okay.  I just needed to wash.
It's been a couple of days you know."

	"I know," I said, as I stepped into the tub wrapping my arms around
him as he did the same to me and I cried on his chest.

	"It's okay, baby.  I'm here.  Don't cry. I won't leave you. Please
don't cry, Billie."

	"It scared me.  I don't know why.  I don't get scared.  I'm a big
boy now. I woke up alone.  I went to sleep. You were in my arms, and I woke
up cold and alone.  It scared me. I've never been that alone."

	"It's okay now.  I won't leave you. I'm hear. I'm hear."

	"Yes you will," I argued. "You are leaving me.  You have to leave
me."  Tears continued to run down my cheeks, mingling with the warm shower
spray.

	He didn't say anything.  We both knew that time was running out on
us.  I hugged him tight and took the warmth from his body and the shower.
My body calmed down, and for the first time I saw Carl when he wasn't
turned on.  He was no less a feast for my eyes. I picked it up and squeezed
it to see how long it would take, all of about a second and an eighth
before it lengthened and stiffed out through my encroaching fingers.  I
kissed it before looking up into his face.

	"You happy now?  Your pacifier is back up."

	"Yeah!" I said, and smiled for him and pushed my fear out of my
reach for awhile longer.

	I looked up to his eyes before saying what was in my mind.  "Tell
them."

	"Tell who?  Tell them what?"

	"Tell them the way things are with you and me.  Tell the marines
you can't go now."

	"I can't do that!  I've signed papers.  I've got to go.  I won't
back out of it. How would that make me look?"

	"Not for me?" I questioned.

	Carl stared down at me.  His eyes were sad and his face devoid of
emotion.  He pulled me tight against his chest.  "It's something I can't
do.  I can't say that.  I can't tell them what I've done. What I am."

	"You are ashamed?"

	"Now, I'm scared.  If anyone knew or had a clue.... I'd be a dead
man. I can't tell them that!"

	"I know.  We'll be okay. I'll find a way," I said, having no clue
how I would survive back home without the man I loved.

	Kissing in a shower was special.  I liked the feel of the water
running down my face almost as much as the way he was pressed against me.
He rocked me as we kissed.  He started to work soap into my shoulders and
back while we embraced.  I leaned forward and kissed him and then I slid
down his body and tried to swallow more of him than I could handle.

	I choked and coughed as he laughed at me for my youthful
enthusiasm.  I cleared my throat and went right back on him, causing him to
lean back until his shoulders were against the tile with his hips thrust
out toward my mouth. My sucking was forcing his knees to bend as I worked
him over with devotion.

	"Damn! You're getting pretty good at that, kid."

	"Not good enough yet.  I'm going to get you there this time."

	"You don't have to do that, Billie. You have me so close so often
that it's fine if you don't do it all the way. I don't need it like you
do."

	"It's not fine.  I gotta do this until it's done?  Give it up,
Ponyboy.  You're mine. Captain super suck has arrived," I said, diving back
on him.

	The laughter might have disturbed someone in the next bathroom, but
it didn't matter to us. Somehow we were kissing again and I was starting to
think there was some kind of conspiracy at hand.  We ended up soaping each
other with large gobs of soap and it ran down the tile, the curtain, and
down on to the floor and even some of it circled round and round at our
feet in the tub.

	Carl let his long arms soap up my best part with more gobs of suds
that kept me on the edge and he washed between my legs and soaped up my
crack and ran his fingers down to the backs of my legs.  It was then, I
decided to turn the tide.  I used the soap to slip around in his arms and I
slid my newly soaped rear end up against his pole.  I slid myself up until
I could feel him against my hole and then slid down with him in my crack
until his nuts bounced on my rear.  I grabbed it, forcing the tip against
me while I was backing up onto it.

	I wiggled, wriggled, and squirmed, struggling and jumping up on it,
and bouncing while trying to give him access to my inner most secret, but
it just slipped this way, that way, up, down, and around and always out of
me and into my crack. He held my shoulders while doing nothing to assist me
as I continued to go crazy trying to get it up in there.

Finally I positioned it right there where it needed to be and rammed myself
back on it, and just at the instant I thought there was some progress, he
held his arms so I couldn't go back any further. I was thoroughly
frustrated by my inability to satisfy him even once, and I knew if I
didn't, he'd find someone that would.

	"Don't stop me.  I'm going to make you happy.  I'm going to do that
for you. I'm not fooling around here."

	"No! You can't.  Don't you understand I'm too big?  You're too
small.  It won't fit, Billie. Quit it! I couldn't live with myself if I
hurt you."

	"I want to. I want you to be the one to do it. I want you inside
me."

	He turned and leaned both his hands flat on the tile and let the
water cascade down over his shoulders again.  I turned around and stood
behind him watching soap rolling off his shoulders and down his back and
into the crack where I put both of my hands, working the soap into the
hollow.  His legs spread reluctantly and he leaned forward, giving me any
access I desired. My cock pulsed and jerked with spasms as I considered the
possibilities.

	My fingers sought out the spot that always drew my attention.  The
soap made everything even better.  I used my fingers on it and rubbed
vigorously. There was no way I couldn't extend one inside there if he'd
permit. He tensed at first when he understood, standing upright without
moving his ass away from my hands. The tight ring yielded to my slippery
digit and it held my finger firm. I removed it and leaned forward and
pressed the soap he spread on my best part into the crack against my hands.

	"Go ahead," he said.

	"What?"

	"What you want.  It's okay.  I want you to.  Go ahead.  I'm ready
now."

	"I won't.  I won't until you do something.  It isn't fair that you
keep giving yourself to me. I've got to do something for you."

	"Do that. Do it for me.  It's what I want, Billie!  Don't you
understand it's always what I wanted?  I didn't want to ask.  I didn't want
to think I wanted that, but every time you touch me there I can hardly stop
myself from losing it. I need you to be inside me."

	"You want me to?"

	"That will make me nut. Isn't that what you want?"

	"Yeah, Ponyboy, if you're sure."

	"I'm a fucking marine.  I didn't want to say I wanted a... a... you
know what I'm saying."

	"It's okay," I said.

"Then I'll be ready to give it up.  Christ, just thinking about it makes me
want to nut right now."

	"Really!"

	"No! I hate the thought.  It makes me want to puke.  Now do it for
me because I need you to. Fuck me, Billie! Please fuck me now."

	The invitation wasn't very old when the excitement had me pressed
hard at the door. The soap certainly made short work of getting me through
the hard part. The feel was incredible, but before I set myself for the
final charge he slid himself back until he was against my hair. When I
reached around him, his cock pulsed and jerked like never before when I
grabbed it. It was thicker than ever and holding the top was like holding a
granny smith apple.  When I squeezed it he rotated back hard against me,
lifting up some on me before dropping himself all the way back down on my
prick.

	"Go ahead.  I'll time myself with you.  It's okay.  Oh, god, it's
okay now!" Carl gushed out the words in quick bursts and he spoke into the
tile.

	I was already too dizzy to know what I was doing.  My knees were
buckling and each time I slipped up or back, he countered, and then, when
my motion changed, his changed.  We worked in exact opposite directions but
it was a perfect synchrony.  I pressed my face into his back and used both
of my hands on his swollen enthusiasm.  Even that motion became part of our
marvelous rhythm.

	I managed to hold myself in check for a change, and the urge to
immediately reach the heights of ecstasy passed as I concentrated on doing
this for Carl as much as it felt like he was doing it for me.  I ground
myself into him. When I changed the motion, he immediately fell into my
timing and it was like being parts of one well oiled machine.  I gave him
up with one hand, locating one of his neat nipple to pinch and squeezed,
having no idea where enough and too much were located, but having the
feeling too much of this was just enough for Carl.

	"Do that harder.  Do that!  Twist me it. Yeah! Oh! Yes.  That's it.
You're doing it!  Only a minute now, babe.  Just keep it up. Do it hard.
That's it. I love feeling you up in me."

	His voice came in gasps now.  With each few words air shot around
them, gushing out into the ceiling as his forearms held us up.  I could
feel his chest heaving in his struggle to get more air, and my fingers
tingled as his heart seemed to have gone crazy inside his chest and under
that nipple.  All of his muscles suddenly tightened in a jerk. His hole
quivered and grabbed at my prick.

This new action milked my semen right out of my nuts in one hard lusty
spasm.  I once more fought to keep it inside me, but I knew I was losing
the battle. I punished his hole with quick hard thrusts, losing all
self-control.  His hole pulsed on my prick in even more powerful spasms
than before, as it seemed to be alive with its desire for me, eating me
with bold bites as I became buried in him.

	"Here it is.  Here it comes. You did it!  Happy.  Happy.  Ohhhh!!
Happy!"

	All the air seemed to come out of him as his body rocked mine. His
words came in spurts with his semen.  I leaned around him and watched the
gush of sperm coming out of him and colliding with the tile in powerful
thick white gobs that dripped down the pink tile, over the top of the pink
tub before running down into it.

I held on to the bull as he rode my stroking fingers. There were more
eruptions and more streams as my own ejaculation surged through me and into
his depths, shaking him and me even harder than we were already
quaking. Our mutual orgasms shivered through us. This seemed to fuel his
lusty discharges, until his body went limp in my arms and we almost fell
into the bottom of the tub. He was too weak to stand and I was too weak to
hold him up. We were spent totally.

	I eased him back on me as I sat at the rear of the tub, being
careful to stay up inside him so I wouldn't lose the feeling. I watched his
rivers running down into the tub and circling the drain. It ran, slow,
thick, and rich.  I could feel him still gently twitching, struggling, his
heart pounding, and more juice dripped on my hand from his softened weapon
that would not quit.

	After sitting there a few minutes, he struggled to stand and I came
free. I got up to lean against him as he once more leaned under the shower
spray. I wondered what was going on inside his head. Had he liked it? Had
he hated it? Would we ever do it again? I'd never been more sexually
satisfied or happier.

	"You okay?" I finally had to ask.

	He gasped for air as he tried to speak.  "Okay?  Okay?  I'm fucking
fantastic!  I never done nothin' with anyone...  I mean like that before.
I thought I would pass out. I thought I might die, but I didn't care." He
laughed.

	"I think you almost did," I said. "You sure you're okay?"

	"Sorry," he said leaning on his arm, still having trouble getting
his legs to hold him up. "Wow! That was something else."

	"It's okay.  It's nice holding you up for a change."

	"I'd of fallen right on my butt you hadn't been back there. You
were great Billie Joe."

	"I think I had to be there or how else would we a done what we
did?"

	"Never ever did nothin' like that before."

	"I'm glad it was good for you. You did it. You finally spermed," I
said proudly. "Told you I'd get you, Ponyboy."

	"Yeah, I did. I didn't think I was going to stop. Look, it's even
up near the showerhead.  Guess waiting three months has its rewards.  Got
to watch doing it standing up though.  That could get dangerous.  Imagine
what it will be like after a year of waiting for you. I'll think about this
every day. My first time. Wow!"

	"Three months?"

	"Left for basic three months and five days ago.  Haven't nutted
since.  Used to twice a day, morning and night, up 'til then, but can't
around all those guys you know."

	"You done, Billie? Did you finish? I got a little distracted."

	"Sure, you know me.  When you did I did.  Neato!  I kinda went nuts
on you back there, but you were too busy to notice I guess."

	"Must a been.  I didn't know you finished. Just all of a sudden
everything got lost in my dick. It felt like it was bigger an me. Fucking
incredible."

	I climbed out of the tub before Carl and needed to take a leak.  By
the time I was shaking it, Carl was behind me using the towel on my back.
He dried my hair and turned me around and dried my chest before kneeling on
one knee and doing my legs.  He kissed mine and rested his face on me as he
did my feet.  When he looked at me I was beaming from ear to ear. I knew he
loved me.

	"What are you so happy about?"

	"You," I blushed shyly.

	He stood up and handed me the towel and I worked on his back and
shoulders but didn't have to worry about reaching his hair. I stood on the
toilet to do the top of his shoulders, but his hair was dry when I touched
it.  I first did the back of him and let my fingers feel the spot as I
pretended to just be drying him off after I sat down on the toilet top.  I
did his front right after because I'm so bad. Kneeling between his legs, I
lifted him up, squeezing a little as I did, and I dried his nuts one at a
time before tackling his now big softy.  He smiled at me as I finished his
legs and looked up at him.

	"You did it, kid."

	"What's that, Ponyboy?"

	"You got my nut.  You did good.  I never got off like that. Never
close to that. It's a keeper I'll never forget. I'll never forget you,
Billie Joe."

	His voice sounded distant to me when he said that last. It sent a
chill through me. As happy as I was I felt the cold reality creeping up on
me.

	"See.  I was worth waiting for.  That bimbo of yours couldn't a
done what I just done for you."

	"No! That's one thing she couldn't ever do. If she'd been home. I'm
glad she wasn't now. I might have stayed there 'til the last day if she
was."

	I wrapped my arm around his waist and we bounced off the door
trying to get back to the bed.  He picked me up and threw me in the middle,
and then stood looking at me. My nakedness almost made me blush. His
nakedness just made me horny.

	"Hungry, kid?"

	"Always."

	"Where do we eat?"

	"We'll wing it.  Plenty of restaurants around here."

	"Yeah! Real food.  I want to eat American while I can."

	We dressed and went out.  I felt different.  There was something
about him finally completing the task that made me feel as tall as he was.
I knew there wasn't much time left for us, and I suppose he thought about
the same thing, but we didn't talk about it.  We went out to eat, and then
walked around the wet streets to burn off the energy that always dammed up
when I didn't get enough exercise.

	The night was fresh and the air was light and clean, like my soul
and my heart felt for the first time, but along with all the wonderfulness
was a little piece of darkness that kept nagging at me not to depend on it
staying like this.

				   *****

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