Date: Sat, 19 Nov 2005 15:19:41 -0800 (PST)
From: rimpigfl <rimpigfl@yahoo.com>
Subject: MY SECRETARY'S SON 08

THIS IS NOT my usual story venue. I don't, as most of you know, usually
trespass in the world of Corporate America. However, inspiration cannot be
denied. So here is the story of....

MY SECRETARY'S SON
By RimPig   2005

Chapter 8

After calling the office that morning and letting Diane know that I wasn't
coming in, I couldn't bring myself to sit around the house either. I hopped
into the Ferrari and took off. I didn't even realize where I was driving
until I was almost there. The cabin. My refuge from the world and the place
where I'd been so happy with Robby! The place where we'd first made
love. The only place that we could ever live like a couple for more than a
few hours at a time.

But all that was gone now. Pulling up to the cabin, I walked around back
and down to the new boathouse. I cast off the lines from the boat and
pushed the remote control to open the doors. I sailed her out into the
middle of the lake and just turned off the engine, letting the boat drift
while I sat there. I'm not really sure why I took the boat out. At one
point, I was so depressed I actually thought about just sinking it to the
bottom of the lake!

What I mostly did was think about what I was going to do with my life. I
had plenty of money. I could just quit working and, if I sold the house
near town, I could just live here at the cabin, alone, for a very long time
- maybe the rest of my life. Certainly, at that point, I wasn't interested
in interacting with people anymore. I just wanted to be by myself. At least
that way I couldn't be hurt. I'd be lonely, but that was no change from
before I'd met Robby. At least, living up here in the mountains, I wouldn't
have to meet anyone ever again, if I didn't want to. And I definitely did
not!

As I sat there on the boat in the middle of the lake, I tried to figure out
how I could have been so wrong! How I'd been unable to see that I didn't
mean all that much to Robby. I had been a fool and I just couldn't
understand how it had happened! I'd never allowed myself to be fooled that
way before! But, then again, I'd never allowed myself to be fooled into
falling in love with someone either! All I could think of was the old
saying, "There's no fool like and old fool!". I didn't think I was that old
but it didn't seem to matter. I was a fool nonetheless.

Well! Never again! Never! No matter what! I supposed that I should be
somewhat grateful to Robby for teaching me a very difficult, painful but
important lesson! NEVER fall in love! And above all - NEVER fall in love
and let the person you love know it! If you do - you're doomed!  They
fucking own you!

I lay there on the boat most of the day. When the sun began to go down, I
finally turned on the engine and drove it back to the boathouse. Then I
walked back up to the cabin where I could see the Ferrari parked out
front. I decided that I didn't want anyone to know that I was here so I got
in the car and drove it down a path until it was some distance from the
cabin and behind some tall bushes where it couldn't be seen from the
driveway.

I walked back to the cabin and went inside. I tried to fix something to eat
but I just wasn't hungry. The only thing I did do was to grab a glass and a
bottle of Wild Turkey bourbon and started drinking. Of course, I hadn't had
any food all day so the whiskey hit me pretty hard. The next thing I knew,
it was morning and I was waking up on the couch with the bottle of Wild
Turkey wrapped in my arms and an unbelievable hangover exploding in my
head!

I knew I needed to call into the office but I just couldn't bring myself to
do it. What the fuck did I care! I didn't ever want to go back to the
office and I certainly didn't want to talk to Diane. After all, what the
fuck could we talk about? How her son had broken my heart? How I had wanted
to build a life with him only to find out that he preferred to keep our
relationship secret and shamefully hidden?

I did finally manage to get up off the couch. However, standing up was a
killer! My head was spinning and throbbing at the same time. It had been
years since I'd had a hangover and it was only now that I was realizing why
it was that I avoided drinking to excess anymore! I managed to stumble to
the kitchen and put on a pot of coffee and then to the bathroom where I
downed a couple of aspirin, praying they would stop my head from hurting. I
somehow remembered that hangovers were the result of dehydration from
alcohol so I went back to the kitchen and got a bottle of water out of the
refrigerator and downed it. By the time I'd done that, the coffee was ready
and after two cups, I was actually starting to be convinced that I would
survive - at least temporarily.

As I sat drinking a third cup of coffee, I wandered out onto the deck
behind the cabin and sat down, looking out at the lake. The whole lake was
ringed by trees in bright fall colors and it was an incredibly beautiful
site - one that I loved. It had been fall when I'd first seen the property
and had agreed to buy it that day. It had been everything that I had been
looking for and the riot of fall colors seemed to be a message to me that
this was the right place for me to find some peace and serenity in my life.

At this thought, for some reason, I suddenly remembered something from my
childhood. A prayer I was taught in catholic school by a nun. Her name had
been Sister Mary Serena and she was certainly that! Probably the most
serene person I'd ever met. The prayer she'd taught us was even called 'The
Serenity Prayer' -

"God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change The
courage to change the things I can And the wisdom to know the difference."

I couldn't change Robby. He was who he was. His shame and fear over who and
what he was, I couldn't change for him. He would have to do that. When? Who
knew? I guess I just had to accept it and move on.

As to 'the courage to change the things I can' - well, that was going to be
the problem. What to do with my life now that it was going to be a life
alone? That was a very good question but one that my head just couldn't
'wrap around' right then. I was still hurting to bad from Robby's
betrayal. It felt like my heart had been ripped out of my chest. I knew
that, in time, I would hurt less but the hurt was too new, too raw to
expect that to happen soon.

Add to this, I was also blaming myself. Had I pushed things too hard and
too fast? Had I expected too much of Robby? After all, he was only eighteen
today. That thought brought a fresh rush of tears to my eyes. Robby's
birthday. The day I had looked forward to. The day that would make
everything right. Now it had come and everything was gone. Robby was
gone. My life, as I'd known it, was gone. Worst of all, the only true
happiness I'd ever known was gone as well.

I got up and walked back into the kitchen to pour another cup of coffee. As
I was doing so, I heard knocking on the front door. I ignored it. Whoever
it was, I wasn't interested. I didn't want to talk to or see anybody. I
knew it wasn't Robby because, of course, he had the key that I had given
him. I guessed I was going to have to get a locksmith to change all the
locks now.

As much as I tried to ignore the knocking, it persisted. Finally I decided
to at least see who it was.  I looked out the 'spy-hole' in the door and
saw Diane standing there. I knew how persistent she was and I figured there
was little chance of her just going away.

"Dan! I know you're in there! Come on! Open up!" she shouted.

How could she know that? Well, I guess it wasn't too hard to figure
out. There weren't a lot of places I could be.

"Go away!" I shouted through the door.

"Come on, Dan! Open up! We have to talk!" she shouted back.

"There's nothing to talk about!" I shouted.

"There's a LOT to talk about and I'm not leaving until you open this door!"
she shouted back.

I knew she was stubborn enough to stand out there all day so I finally,
reluctantly opened the door.

"Who's with you?" I demanded.

"Nobody. I came by myself." she said, pushing past me into the cabin.

"I don't know what you expect to accomplish." I grumbled.

"I'm hoping I can hammer a little sense into your head! However, from the
smell of things, perhaps it's too foggy with booze right now." she snapped.

"All I have left is a hangover." I growled, heading for the kitchen and
more coffee.

She evidently followed me because I could hear her voice.

"Yes, I'd love a cup." she said.

Without looking at her, I pulled another cup from the cupboard and poured
another cup. I then handed her the cup over the breakfast bar that she was
sitting at.

"Why don't you come and sit down?" she said quietly.

"Because I don't feel like it." I grumbled. "Considering how short this
conversation is going to be, I don't need to sit down for it."

"Well! It's no wonder that you and Robby are fighting! You're as
thickheaded as my idiot son is!"  she laughed.

I looked at her in anger! How dare she laugh about this! There was nothing
to laugh about! And I told her so!

"There is NOTHING to laugh about!" I exclaimed.

"If you saw how you look right now, you'd see that there's a LOT to laugh
about. However, I suppose that neither you or Robby would be able to see
the humor in this situation." she said.

I just continued to glare at her.

"Well, why don't you tell me your side of this whole mess. Why are you two
fighting?" she asked.

I looked at her but I didn't know what to say! Certainly, I wasn't going to
tell her the truth but I couldn't think of a plausible lie either! So I
opted for safety.

"I think that's between Robby and I to handle." I said.

"Well, neither one of you is handling it very well! You're pouring yourself
into a bottle and crying while he's just laying in his room and crying!
What the hell has gotten into the two of you?!" she asked disgustedly.

"I think you should ask Robby that question." I said.

"I already have." she said.

"So? What did he say?" I asked.

"Well, it took a while to get it all out of him. Basically what he told me
is that you and he have become lovers and that this whole fight started
over him not telling me the truth about it. Is that about it?" she asked.

"HE TOLD YOU?!" I all but screamed.

"Yes. Finally. It's not like it was any big surprise. Did you two actually
think you were fooling anybody? MEN!" she snorted.

"Well...he was underage and I didn't know how to discuss this with
you...and besides, it was really his place to tell you..." I hedged.

"What? Underage by a month?! That's a load of crap! What did you two think,
I was going to disown him and have you arrested?" she asked.

"Well...yeah...that thought did cross our minds though Robby thought more
that you'd throw him out." I explained.

"Did you REALLY think THAT?!" she exclaimed.

"No! I didn't! I kept trying to get him to tell you. I told him I thought
you would understand - well, at least the part about him, anyway." I
assured her.

"So what the hell started the fight?" she asked.

"You getting married." I said.

"Me! What the hell does my getting married have to do with anything?!" she
exclaimed, utterly confused.

"Robby saw it as an opportunity to, I guess, throw a fake tantrum over it
and then move out and come live with me. Then he wouldn't have to tell you
the truth. I got pissed over it because I didn't want to live in a
dishonest relationship like that." I said.

"Well...I can't blame you for that. Okay! Listen up! I have a very
important question for you. Do you love my son?" she asked.

"More than anything in the world!" I assured her.

"Even though he can be an asshole at times?" she smiled.

"Especially because he can be an asshole at times. It gives us something
more in common." I smiled back.

"I take it that shop your built in your garage is for him?" she asked.

"How do you know about that?!" I asked.

"Did you forget that all of your credit card bills come to the office and I
pay them for you?" she asked.

"Uhh...yeah...I did." I said, chagrined at my own stupidity.

"And I take it the new boat is for him as well?" she asked.

"Well...no. That's for both of us. We take it out in the middle of the lake
and he fishes and I read." I said quietly.

She got up and went over to the window.

"So where is it?" she asked, looking out the window.

"It's in the boat house - over there. Do you want to see it?" I asked,
confused.

"Yes. I would." she said.

I walked out of the kitchen onto the deck and down to the boathouse with
Diane following me. I opened the door and turned on the overhead lights so
she could see it.

"My God! How many people will that thing hold?!" she exclaimed.

"According to the specifications, it will hold up to 17." I said.

"And it's just for the two of you?!" she asked.

"Well, I always kind of thought that if you and Brad wanted to come up
sometime, we could all go out on it but, yeah. It was basically just for
the two of us." I said.

Diane started laughing.

"What's so funny?" I asked.

"Boy! My son really IS an idiot!" she laughed.

"Why? Just because I can buy him things?" I asked, somewhat miffed at her
reaction.

"No! Not because you 'can' buy him things but that you DO! That you do
everything you can do to make him happy. And he's willing to give you up
just so that I won't find out something I already knew!" she laughed.

"You knew!?" I exclaimed.

"Of course I did! How dumb do you think I am?!" she grinned. "All I had to
do was see the look on your faces anytime the other one's name got
mentioned or you talked about each other! You two were in love! And I would
estimate that it was just about love at first sight!"

"It was. At least on my part. Robby told me it was on his, too. I still
don't understand what he saw in me though." I said.

"Oh, trust me! I do!" she laughed.

I looked at her uneasily.

"NO! It's not the stuff. You don't get it do you? You are a strong,
confident, intelligent male - or at least you were before you fell in love
with my son! You're every woman's dream - and I guess every gay man's dream
as well. Some of it, I guess, is Robby never having a father so he looked
for someone older. But you aren't that old in years. But you are 'older' in
experience. Now, tell me about this furniture making venture." she said.

"There's this old guy over in the next town named Carl Dawson. He's been
making furniture for over 40 years. He says that Robby is the most talented
furniture maker he's ever seen! He's offered to apprentice him and teach
him everything he knows - not that I think there's much that Robby needs to
learn! I've seen some of the pieces he's done and he's incredible! It's
what he wants to do with his life and Carl and I think that he could not
only make a living at it but become one of the premiere furniture makers in
the country - if not the world!" I said.

"Why did he never tell me about any of this?" Diane asked.

"Because you kept harping on him about going to college. He never thought
you'd ever let him do what he wanted to do." I said.

"But I never KNEW that he wanted to do this! Nor did I know that he could
really be that good at it!" Diane said.

"You never bothered to find out, either - did you?" I asked.

She looked at me in anger for a moment and then seemed to relax.

"No. You're right. I never did. So is it so wrong for a mother to want her
son to grow up and be somebody - to be self-supporting?!" she demanded.

"No, not at all. But that's not what you did. You didn't just want him to
be self-supporting - you demanded he live your dream, not his! It was your
dream to go to college. It's unfortunate that you never went because you
have all the potential to be a good management candidate! But that's not
Robby's dream! That's not what he's good at. I wanted to give him every
opportunity to fulfill his dream." I said, miserably.

"And the idiot goes and blows it!" Diane grumbled.

"No. He didn't blow it. I bought all the equipment for him. I just figured
I'd have it trucked over to your house for him. I'll probably put the house
up for sale. I'll keep the cabin and just live up here." I said.

"Won't that be an awfully long commute?" she asked.

"No. I'm not coming back to work. While you're here, maybe I'll write a
letter of resignation and you can deliver it." I said and then I turned off
the lights and left the boathouse with her still standing there.

"You can't be serious!" she said, running up the walkway after me.

"Serious as a heart attack." I said.

Again reaching the cabin, I went into the kitchen.

"Listen, I appreciate you coming out here, but there's nothing you can
do. It's over. Robby doesn't love me. I can learn to accept that. I guess
I'm somewhat grateful to you for trying but it's not going to work. Just go
back to town and leave me alone. Okay?" I said.

"Is that really what you want?!" she exclaimed.

"No. It's not what I 'want' - it's what is." I said. "Please, Diane. Just
go. I really want to be alone right now."

"I'm really terribly sorry. I truly am! Are you sure there's nothing I can
do?" she asked and I could see that she really meant it.

"No. There's not. I'm sorry that it ended this way. I really enjoyed
working with you. You were the best." I said.

She looked at me, tried to say something but stopped. Then she walked out
of the cabin, pulling the door shut behind her and I heard her car drive
away. I climbed the steps to the loft, stripped off my clothes, lay down
across the bed and was soon deep in exhausted sleep.

When I awoke, the sun had gone down and it was dark outside and I was cold
laying there naked.  I figured I should at least try to eat something -
especially now that my hangover was gone. I pulled on some sweatpants and a
sweatshirt and headed down stairs. I walked into the kitchen where I
noticed two things. The first was that the french doors were open to the
patio. I could have sworn that I had closed those when Diane had been there
earlier. The second was that there was a fresh pot of coffee in the carafe
of the coffee maker! Now, I hadn't brewed that in my sleep! What the fuck
was going on?

I poured a cup of coffee and walked out onto the deck. I could see somebody
sitting down on the old dock. At first, in the darkness I couldn't tell who
it was. Then my brain kicked in and I realized it was Robby. I should have
known Diane would tell him where I was. I didn't know why he was here and,
to be honest, I didn't much want him to be. I walked down to the edge of
the dock.

"What are you doing here?" I asked.

He turned around and stood up.

"I wanted to talk to you." he said.

"I think we've done enough talking. I've certainly done enough of it for
one day." I said and started to turn back to the cabin.

"I know my mom came to see you." he said.

"I figured she'd tell you." I said, turning back.

"Are you really going to quit your job?!" he exclaimed.

"Yeah." I said.

"How will you live?" he asked.

"I'll be fine. You don't need to worry." I growled.

"She told me you're going to sell your house! Why? You love that house!" he
said.

"If I don't have a job, I don't need it. The cabin will do just fine." I
said and again turned to walk back to the cabin.

I could hear him follow me as I walked into the kitchen and poured another
cup of coffee.

"I came to tell you I'm sorry." he said quietly.

"Well, isn't that nice." I said sarcastically.

"I guess you hate me now. Not that I blame you." he said.

"No. I don't hate you. I wish I could. Maybe that will come later." I said.

"I didn't understand why you got so angry! My mom explained it to me - all
the time she was telling me what an unfeeling idiot I was." he said.

"Your mother always was good at doing whatever job needed to be done." I
said.

"Don't you see?! I didn't understand! I was scared! I didn't want my mom to
hate me! Now I've fucked up totally! She's angry at me, you're angry at me
and I hate myself!" he said, and I could hear his voice break as he started
to cry.

I would like to be able to say that I just ignored his tears, that they
didn't effect me in the least.  That's what I'd like to be able to
say. Unfortunately, that wouldn't be the truth. His tears tore me
completely up inside. But I held on. I couldn't let him see that he'd
gotten to me! I couldn't let myself be vulnerable to him! He'd hurt me -
and hurt me badly! I wasn't about to give him another chance to do it
again!

"My mom told me that she knew all along." he said, sniffling.

"Well, that's what they say, that a mother always knows." I said.

"Is there anything I can do to make you stop hating me? Is there any way
you'd ever love me again?" Robby begged.

"You misunderstand. I don't hate you. I suppose I still love you because I
don't believe anyone I didn't love could hurt me this badly. But that's the
point. You've hurt me. Worse, you destroyed any trust I have in you." I
said.

"But...why?!" he whined.

"Why?! WHY?! Because, to you, I wasn't worth risking anything for! I was
willing to risk everything for you! But you wanted to have your cake and
eat it, too! You wanted to keep on hiding from your mother and just make me
some hidden part of your life! Well, that doesn't cut it in my world,
sonny-boy! When it comes to love, you're either willing to put everything
on the line or you get the fuck out! You don't play games!" I shouted.

He just stood there, mutely, looking at me - tears running down his face.

"Well, I guess I've lost then." he said.

"Yes. It sure looks like you have. But, that's okay. You go run home to
mommy now. At least you've found out that she'll accept you." I said and
then walked out of the kitchen and towards the loft.

Again, he followed me.

"I don't want to go home!" he exclaimed.

I stopped at the foot of the stairs.

"Why not?" I asked.

"I want to be with you!" he cried.

"Sorry. That's not an option." I said.

"Why not?!" he exclaimed.

"Why not?! After what you did, why would you even want to be with me?! It's
obvious that I don't mean anything to you. Oh, I suppose I'm somewhat fun
and I'm good sex but that's not what love is about. Love is about trust and
honor and commitment and loyalty. I don't think you know very much about
those parts of it. Maybe someday you will. But not now." I said.

"You really mean that you don't want anything to do with me - ever?!" he
asked in shock.

"Let me put it to you this way. Put yourself in my shoes. Would you take
you back if you were me?" I asked.

"Yes!" he answered.

"Why would you?" I asked.

"Because I really do love you! I never meant to hurt you! I never meant for
ANY of this to happen! Can't you give me a second chance? PLEASE!" he
begged, crying.

"Look, I'm too confused and exhausted to go through this now. Go home. Come
back tomorrow.  Maybe we can talk more then." I said and once again turned
to go upstairs.

"Can't I stay here for the night? Please?" he asked quietly. "I can sleep
down here."

"Why would you want to?" I asked.

"I want to be close to you. As close as you'll let me be." he said.

Fuck me all to hell!!! I could tell he meant every word of it! I wish I was
a heartless asshole! If I was, then I could have kicked his little butt out
the door and been done with him! But that ain't me!

"Okay. You can stay tonight. You sleep down here, though." I growled.

"Okay." he said.

I walked up the stairs to the loft and threw myself across the bed. I
didn't even bother to undress.  Strangely enough, I guess all the emotional
upheaval with Robby must have tired me out because before I knew it, I'd
fallen into an exhausted sleep.

Unfortunately, I didn't stay asleep. I kept waking up all night long and
then not being able to go back to sleep. I knew what was wrong. Robby was
right down stairs and I wanted him in my bed.  I wanted him curled up next
to me with my arms around him. I wanted him naked and panting and begging
me to fuck him. I wanted to feel my cock sliding into his hot, wet, tight
hole. I wanted things back the way they were!

But I didn't know how to get things back there. I was still hurting and I
wasn't ready to forgive him. At least not yet. And, as I had told him, I
didn't trust him. I guess I was being an asshole. I remembered all to well
what it was like to be seventeen. I didn't come out to my parents. Fuck! I
hadn't even come out to myself! I played the 'Christ, I was drunk last
night. I don't remember a thing that happened.' game so many times with so
many jocks that I think I actually started to believe my own bullshit!

So? Was it any different with him? I was at least doing shit! I'd been
playing with other guys since I'd been about twelve! Robby had never had
sex with anybody before he met me. Never had the courage to do anything
with anybody. Fuck! Was it any wonder he didn't have the courage to come
right out and tell his mother? I was thirty and I'd never told mine. Of
course, that was different. I had no contact with my family at all any
more. They'd written me off when I went to the London School of
Economics. They quite arbitrarily decided that I was 'getting too big for
my britches' going off to school in England. I guess they'd figure that I'd
come home with a British accent and reject them so they got the jump on me
and rejected me before I had a chance to.  There is a definite type of
'working class' prejudice that is every bit as obnoxious as 'upper class'
prejudice in this country.

So what the fuck was I going to do? I knew, in his own way, Robby loved
me. I knew that I loved him. Regardless of the hurt, I couldn't get over
that fact. That, more than anything, is what I hate about fucking 'Love'!
Just because the person you love takes your heart and slashes it with a
fucking switchblade, you can't stop loving them! Love ought to turn to hate
but it doesn't. All I had to do was see Robby sitting on the dock to know
that.

I rolled over yet again and tried to go back to sleep. That's when I heard
it. Quiet, bare, footfalls on the stairs leading up to the loft. So! He was
going to crawl in bed with me while I'm asleep, huh? 'Nice try, buddy-boy,
but it ain't gonna work! You try getting in this bed and I'll boot your
butt back down those stairs so fast, you head will swim!' I thought to
myself as I lay there quietly feigning sleep.

But the expected movement onto the bed never came. Where the fuck was he? I
could hear him. I could even smell his scent but he wasn't in the bed!
Where the fuck was he? Then I heard movement quite close to me but not on
the bed. I slowly opened my eyes to slits but I couldn't see him. Then, out
of the bottom of my vision, I noticed movement. I slowly looked over the
side of the bed and there he lay, curled up next to the bed like a fucking
Golden Retriever or something! Well! He'd said it - as close to me as I'd
let him! I had a good mind to just let him sleep there on the floor the
rest of the night. But something about the humbleness of what he'd done got
to me. I'd never fucking crawl to a guy that way! Never! But, there he
was. Content to sleep on the floor next to the bed like a fucking dog just
to be close to me.

"Robby! Get the fuck up off the fucking floor!" I growled.

He leaped up, startled and started towards the stairs, guiltily slinking
away like a dog caught up on the furniture.

"Stop!" I exclaimed and he came to a dead halt.

"Get in the fucking bed." I said quietly.

He turned and grinned at me.

"Uhh, do you want me to take my clothes off first?" he asked, not really
sure how far my change of heart would go.

"Do we ever sleep together with clothes on?" I asked.

"No." he said and began to undress.

It was then I noticed that I was still dressed. I got up of the bed, threw
my clothes off and onto the floor and then lay back down. Robby got into
the bed and curled up about two feet from me.

"What are you doing over there? I won't bite." I said.

Well...actually I would, just not hard.

He moved over closer but still not touching me.

"What in the fuck is the matter with you! Get over here!" I growled.

He slid over until he was curled up to me, his head resting on my chest as
I lay on my back. I slipped my one arm around him, gently caressing his
skin. I could feel my chest getting wet and knew he was very quietly crying
- though whether from happiness or remorse, I wasn't sure. And, frankly, at
that point I didn't fucking care, either. He was in my bed. He was in my
arms. That's all I cared about. That may sound selfish but, at that point,
I didn't fucking care.

I slept peacefully for the rest of the night. In fact, I didn't wake up
until almost ten in the morning, a very unusual thing for me since I'm up
every morning by six. Robby was still in my arms. As usual, we were laying
on our sides with me spooned behind him. And, as usual, I was hard and my
cock was pressed into the crack of his butt. I thought about not fucking
him but then asked myself who the fuck I was kidding! Not fuck Robby? With
his fucking cute ass pressed against my cock?  Yeah, right!

My face was pressed into his hair and his scent was filling my nose. God!
He smelled so good! I tightened my arms around him, pulling him even
closer. Robby murmured in his sleep and pushed his butt back harder against
my cock. Even asleep, his butt knew what it wanted! And I truly wanted to
give it what it wanted! But I wanted him awake. I wanted to look into
Robby's eyes as I fucked him. He was making those little groaning noises in
the back of his throat, just like he did when I fucked him. I loved when he
did that! It turned me on all to hell!

Robby began to struggle against my tight hold on him. At first, I thought
he was trying to pull away, to reject being in my arms - but no. He was
just trying to turn around so that he was facing me. His hard cock was
poking into my abs and rubbing up against mine. We were both slick with
pre-cum already and I was, quite frankly, afraid that I would cum before I
even got inside him.  When I looked in his eyes, I could see the hunger and
maybe a touch of fear. I didn't want that! I didn't want him thinking that
this was just horniness. I wanted him to know how much I loved him. I
wanted him to know that, as stupid as it still seemed to me, I still loved
him, still wanted him, still needed him in my life.

I leaned forward and kissed him deeply. At first he stiffened and then I
felt his body go limp. I knew what he was doing. He was offering himself to
me, totally and completely. And I was going to take him, take what he was
offering.

I rolled us over until I was on top of him. His legs immediately wrapped
around my waist. When I looked down into his beautiful blue eyes this time,
all I saw was love - so intense and all consuming that, at first, it all
but overwhelmed me! All of a sudden my eyes filled up and, damn it all to
hell! - I was crying! I was doing that stupid thing he did of crying
because I was so happy! I saw tears coursing down his cheeks and we were
smiling at one another.

"Fuck me. Please?" he begged.

"No. I can't fuck you." I said and his eyes became dark and troubled. "I
have to make love to you."

That brought the smile back to his face and I felt him push up with his
hips, trying to bring his hole level with my hard, dripping cock. I rose up
and reached down, positioning myself at his hole. Slowly, ever so slowly, I
pushed forward and felt his body open to me. As I slid inside the silky
wetness of him, I could feel the heat of his body surrounding me. For a
moment I wondered if the heat would blister the skin of my shaft, he was so
hot inside. But as I slid deeper and deeper inside him, I could hear those
hungry little moans of his and I was lost in the moment of making love to
the only male I had ever loved in my entire life.

Buried to the hilt inside of him, I stopped and just felt the heat, the
wetness, the silky tightness of him. I could feel my cock flexing inside of
him, wanting to ravage him, wanting to pound him hard and long, wanting to
empty myself into him and make him totally and completely mine again! He
reached up, putting his arms around my neck and pulling my face down to
his. He kissed me hard and passionately, almost sucking all the breath from
my body.

"I love you! I love you so much!" he murmured as he finally pulled his
mouth from mine.

That's all that I needed to hear. My hips began, almost without my knowing
it, to pump in and out of the hot wetness of him. My thrusts built in power
with each thrust and soon I was pounding him with hard and long strokes. It
was like all the emotions, the anger, the pain, the love that I had been
feeling over the last two days were driving my hips harder and harder
against him.  His little moans became almost screams of ecstasy and my own
moans joined his until we were all but screaming at the top of our lungs as
we rushed headlong into oblivion in each other.

It was not a long fuck. Neither of us had any control at that point. Just
an overwhelming need for each other and an almost maniacal drive to push
each other over the edge. I just prayed we never had too many fights
because I honestly didn't think I could survive too many of these 'making
up' fucks!

I rose up onto my hands, shifting the angle of my thrusts so that my cock
was crashing into his prostate with each inward lunge. I knew it would
drive him over the edge quickly but I also knew that it would take me with
him as well. He grabbed hold of my arms and looked deeply into my eyes as
he began to all but scream.

"YES! YES! YES!" he exclaimed as my cock pushed him over the edge into
orgasm.

I could feel his tunnel spasming around my cock, tightening and loosening
in a rhythmic flow as he painted the entire front of his body with streaks
of white, hot cum. With a deep groan, I began emptying myself into him,
feeling like the explosions of release would never stop! Load after load of
my seed erupted into his already wet insides until there was so much of it,
it began leaking out of his hole as I continued to thrust deeper and deeper
inside of him.

Finally, the frantic action of my orgasm stopped and I collapsed on top of
him. Robby's arms came around me and he began kissing and licking my sweaty
shoulder. The feel of his hard, tight body beneath me, his loving strong
arms around, the scent of him gave me a feeling that was completely unknown
and yet totally familiar at the same time.

I felt like I was home.

The End of Chapter 8 of MY SECRETARY'S SON

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RimPig