Date: Sun, 16 May 2004 20:43:18 -0500 (EST) From: "Publishing@TomCup.com" <publishing@tomcup.com> Subject: My Symon By Rick Lawton - Chapter 5 - A/Y Copyright 2000-2004 by the Paratwa Partnership: A Colorado Corporation. All rights reserved. No part of this work may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means electronic or mechanical, except in the case of reviews, without written permission from the Paratwa Partnership, Inc, 354 Plateau Drive, Florissant, CO 80816 This is a fictional story involving alternative sexual relationships. If this type of material offends you, please do not read any further. This material is intended for mature adult audiences. Names, characters, locations and incidents are either the product of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events or locales, or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental. ********************************************************************** What's New at TomCup.com? My Symon By Rick Lawton: Chapter 8 Added 05/09 * Words Are Not Necessary By Adam Bricker: Chapter 3 Added 05/04* Nasty Boys Club By Tom Cup: Chapter 4 Added 05/04* Airport Voyeur Part 2 by Adam Bricker: Chapter 5 Added 04/30* Jarrod's Journey by The Young Critics: Added 04/29* Dinosaur Bones by David Lemmaire: Added 04/29* KOABoy by Tom Cup: Chapter 13 Added 04/17 My Symon by Rick Lawton: Chapter 7 Added 04/09* The Nasty Boys Club by Tom Cup: Chapter 3 Added 04/04 * Calvin: Identity Crisis Part 2 by Tom Cup: Chapter 3 Added 03/27 The Innocents Part 4: Paulo and Beto by Richard Dean: Chapter 19 Added 03/15 Short Story: On the Way to Walmart by Tom Cup: Added 03/14* Airport Voyeur Part 2 by Adam Bricker Chapter 4: Added 03/09* Lion of Bolognia by Tom Cup: Queen of Hearts Chapter 1: Added 03/07* *TomCup.com now offers an Executive Club membership! ** Tom Cup's "Of Our Teenage Years" is scheduled for publication and release in paperback in 2004. Check it out at http://www.tomcup.com! ********************************************************************** The Paratwa Partnership, Inc. is a publication and marketing agency and is not responsible for the content of the Tom Cup Library, TomCup.com or its affiliate sites, or stories written by Mr. Cup or his associates. ********************************************************************** My Symon By Rick Lawton ricklawton@tomcup.com Chapter 5 "I have some news," Chad said, as we began eating our lunch. He called me the morning after the storm and said he wanted to talk to me about something important. Not having slept much the night before, and on my fourth cup of coffee, I agreed, showered and left to meet him at this greasy spoon that he and I both loved. "Great, let's hear it," I said, taking my hamburger in both hands. Man I loved this food. "I'm taking a year off," he started, waiting for my reaction. When I just smiled, he continued. "I want to travel, see the world, maybe even find myself, as corny as that sounds." I was in the middle of chewing when I started to grin. "That's great, Chad," I said, in between mouthfuls. "I'm very excited for you." Chad beamed when I said those words, and it made me feel great knowing that I had such a positive effect on someone like him. And in the back of my mind, a thought began to take shape. "So when do you leave? Where will you go? What will you do for money?" The questions just poured out of me. I was so jealous! If only I had had the courage to do what Chad was doing when I was just a little younger. Maybe I would be a happier person today. "You want to get rid of me, Rick?" he asked sarcastically, then laughed. "I'm leaving in a week or so. I'm flying to London, and then we'll see where that takes me. My Dad has a client there who said he'd hire me, so I'll have some money and work my way through the world until I either get bored or become broke." "You won't get bored, I can assure you," I said, savouring the greasy burger and fries. "The world is a big place. You'll have the experience of a lifetime." Chad put down his half-eaten sandwich and became serious. "Rick, I have something to tell you." "Sure Chad, you can tell me anything, you know that." "It's just that... well, um... I'm doing this because of you." "Me?" I asked surprised. "What did I do?" "Rick, you've helped me so much. You know, it took me months to build up the courage to walk into the Rainbow Center. I didn't know what to expect, or who'd be there. I just knew I needed some help, some guidance, you know? Just someone to tell me everything would be okay, that I was totally normal, that my being gay wasn't a bad thing." As Chad spoke, I thought back to the night I came out to Kerry. He had had the same influence on me as I seemed to have had on Chad. The thought in my mind became clearer. "Chad," I began, looking at him, "it was my pleasure. And I didn't do anything that you didn't do yourself. You've helped me too." He looked at me with a surprised expression. "I have? How?" "You've helped me become a better person. You've helped me like myself a bit more than I have in the past. And our friendship means the world to me. I'm sad to see you go, but the non-selfish part of me wants to see you happy and I think this trip is a fantastic opportunity for you." "Our friendship means the world to me too, Rick. Which is why this is so hard, leaving you. Especially now." "Now? What's going on now?" I asked. "I've seen a sadness in you for a while now, Rick. When I first met you, your blue eyes had a sparkle to them. Well, actually, they had a light sparkle to them." I looked confused, and he saw that. "I'm not explaining myself clearly... sorry." I smiled. "It's okay. Just tell me what's on your mind. I'd like to hear it." Chad took another bite of his sandwich, and took a sip of his Coke. He studied me for a minute. "I've said too much already. It's really none of my business." "Wait a sec, Chad. You started something which I'd like you to finish. Go ahead -- I won't get mad." "I know you won't. It's just that... well, you may not want to hear what I have to say." Was Chad becoming my mentor now? I just grinned and told him to go ahead. I wanted to hear what he had to say, though I already had an idea of what I was about to hear. "Rick, I want you to know how much I appreciate everything you've done. Geez, now I'm repeating myself." He paused, took another sip of his drink, and took a deep breath. Was he about to tell me he was in love with me? That was something I couldn't handle now. "When we first met, I saw how eager you were to help me, and you did. You helped me so much. And as we got to be friends, you began to open up to me, just as I had opened up so much to you," he said smiling. "But I saw sadness in you, which I still see. Your eyes don't sparkle as much as they used to. They aren't as bright. You carry such a heavy weight on your shoulders, Rick. It shouldn't be that way." That makes two people who could see right through me. Was I that transparent? Did I keep my heart on my sleeve? Or were people I was friends with that much smarter than I was? I began to say something, but Chad stopped me. "Wait, let me finish. Please." I nodded, and he continued. "I know you're lonely Rick. I see it. You don't hide it very well. I want you to be happy Rick." "I am happy, Chad," I said unconvincingly. "I know you're not, and I want you to know that you are such an amazing, loving man, that anyone would be lucky to have you in their life. I know there is someone out there for you, Rick. You just have to be patient. You and he will find each other soon. But when you do, you have to let him in." I might as well be honest with him. There was no sense in lying. "Chad, you're right. I'm not happy. I don't like my job, haven't been satisfied there for months, and yes, I am lonely. I want more than just a random fuck, Chad. I need more than that," I said, looking down at my half-eaten hamburger. Chad reached over and placed his hand over mine, giving it a squeeze. "It will happen for you, Rick. With your huge heart and boundless love, it will happen, just be patient." Chad, it may have happened already. I'm just so confused, I have no clue what to do. But those thoughts didn't materialize into words, and I kept my mouth shut. Chad was right. "I'll miss you, Rick." "I'll miss you too Chad. But I expect a postcard every week, and a phone call at least once a month. Okay?" "Deal," he said, and we both went back to our lunches. This was going to be a good day. * * * "You're what?!?" Pete McKinnon was sitting in his office, staring straight at me. "I'm giving you my notice," I said. "Rick, don't be ridiculous. You can't just quit. Think of your clients." "Fuck my clients, Pete, I'm thinking about me. For the first time in a long time, I'm finally thinking about me. I've been miserable these last few years. The job itself isn't fulfilling. In fact, it's fucking boring! I hate staring at numbers all day and then getting yelled at by people who have no fucking clue how the market works. I'm tired of the bullshit, and I need a change." Pete exhaled. "So take the week off. Hell, take 2. Rick, don't do something you'll regret in the morning." I shook my head. "The only regret I have Pete, is that I didn't do this before today." "Shit, you're serious." He was shocked. Pete McKinnon was the guy who recruited me a few years ago, taking me away from my job as a broker for a small brokerage firm. He presented me with a huge salary, great benefits, and the promise that at the end of the rainbow, there would indeed be a pot of gold. He lied -- there was no pot of gold. "Pete, the last few weeks... hell, the last few months have been very tough for me. I haven't slept well, I'm stressed, I'm just not happy, and I'm not being very productive." It's true -- my last quarter sales figures were well below the company average. "You need to get laid, Rick," he said jokingly, and we both laughed a bit. "Seriously, I know you haven't had anyone special in your life, and maybe it's time you settle down. Find a nice guy, someone you can bring home to Mom and Dad." Visions of Symon came to mind... someone I can bring home... "Pete, it's true. That is something I am lacking, and it's been bothering me more and more these days. But if I'm to find someone special, I need to feel good about myself, so that I can give myself completely to him. I can't do that if I'm miserable at work." Pete didn't say another word. He knew my mind was made up. He just got up from his desk, shook my hand, told me he'd always be there for me, and asked me to give him two weeks, which I did. As I left his office, he said "if you ever need anything, just ask me." "Thanks Pete, for everything," I said and then closed his office door. It may have seemed like this was a decision I had made on the fly, so to speak, but it wasn't. It was something I had been thinking about for a while, but it took my conversation with Chad for it to actually come to fruition. That smoldering thought that became clearer and clearer as Chad told me his plans of visiting Eastern Europe, Russia, the Middle East, and more was the thought of doing something dramatic with my life, and making a bold career move. The counsellors at the Rainbow Center had been hounding me for ages to join them fulltime. They have liked the way I help the kids who've come in and they have heard nothing but positive comments from parents and kids alike, who have said I have helped them in ways they never imagined. And I knew that, and it made me feel good. But the lure of all that money from being a Financial Advisor was what kept me at my job, and the benefits I got from the position. I knew that if I had ever left the firm, I would never make the amount of money I was making. I just wasn't happy. Chad knew it, I'm sure Kerry knew it, and no doubt many others knew it too. Sure I had a lot of money, and that was a nice thing. I lived in a nice townhouse, drove a nice car, owned a lot of nice things... but I was miserable. Miserable because I would drive home alone, and come into an empty house, and eat dinner by myself, watch television by myself, and go to bed by myself. I was in a routine. And it was a boring routine. But that Thursday evening at the market, when I had met Symon, changed everything. Whether or not Symon and I would ever be together was a moot point -- he had unleashed something in me that I was afraid of letting out of its cage. "What should I do? It's like an obsession..." Chad's words echoed in my ears. Had Symon become my obsession? What did he mean by "unfinished business"? I didn't know the answer to that question, but I did know I had to see him. I had to see my Symon. ********************************************************************** Send comments to: ricklawton@tomcup.com To support this and other stories by the author, join at http://www.tomcup.com. If you like this story, check out Tom Cup's "Calvin: A Coming of Age Story." Available at Barnes and Nobles Bookstores, Amazon.com, your local independent bookseller, or from Tom Cup.com. Tom Cup's "Of Our Teenage Years" is scheduled for publication and release in paperback in 2004. Check it out at http://www.tomcup.com!